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Frank hated Christmas. He felt like such a cliché hipster whenever he thought it, but he truly felt it with all his heart. Before, it was not a matter of hate so much as it was his inability to get into these high holiday spirits like everyone else around him. For the past few years, though, working in his uncle’s family portraits studio, it had festered into a deep and unconditional hate.
The holiday season was always their busiest time of the year, family after family coming in to take Christmas photos. At first, Frank had to admit it was cute especially since most of them came in with babies and toddlers, but it got annoying very fast. Crying infants and kids that could not sit still made the job of taking proper photos extremely difficult, which made the families complain about Frank and his uncle even though it was not their fault, which resulted in Frank’s deeply rooted hatred.
Usually, Christmas for Frank took the form of getting together one night with some friends and getting drunk. There were no gifts or any other holiday preparations; that only happened on Christmas day with his family. This year, Frank had Gerard. While Gerard and Frank shared many similarities, they were polar opposites when it came to Christmas. Gerard loved all holidays. Even when they were just friends, he would pester Frank about getting over his Grinch attitude. As friends, Frank never had to listen. Now as his boyfriend for a few months, Frank felt obligated to oblige to Gerard’s overly festive self.
Frank’s only concern was what he could ever do for Gerard to meet his standards. Gerard encompassed every meaning of the word festive, so much so that it had become tradition over the years of knowing each other for Gerard to bring Christmas decorations to Frank’s uncle’s studio and decorate for them.
“I upgraded the decorations this year!” Gerard announced as soon as he walked in through the glass doors, bringing the cold air in with him. He was carrying two huge boxes, his head peeking out from the side.
Frank ran around the desk he was seated at to grab a box from Gerard, who looked like he was struggling a bit.
“Was that really necessary?” Frank groaned at the heaviness of the box he’d taken.
“You guys have some of the same clients,” Gerard said, using his serious reasoning voice, “and they can’t see the same exact decorations every year, so I thought we should change it up.”
“As long as I’m not helping,” Frank said with a shrug. He set the box he was carrying down behind the desk and took the one Gerard was holding, leaving it there as well.
“Whatever, you Grinch.” Gerard rolled his eyes. “Anyways, hi.”
He leaned over the desk, pulled Frank in by the front of his jacket, and placed a quick kiss on Frank’s lips. His lips were still cold from the outside, feeling dry and chapped against Frank’s that were warm from the coffee he had been drinking.
“Hi.” Frank smiled once Gerard pulled away.
Just as Frank was about to lean in for more, his uncle walked in while polishing the lens of a camera.
“I knew I heard you come in, Gerard!” he said happily, ignoring the fact that he had so blatantly interrupted an exchange between his nephew and his boyfriend.
“Hey, Uncle Ben,” Gerard greeted him. “I brought over new decorations this year.”
“You know what, if you’re free, we can start now,” Uncle Ben said, handing Frank the lens he had been wiping and kneeling down to open the boxes Gerard had brought. “I don’t have an appointment for a couple of hours, right, Frank?”
Frank scrolled through the appointments on the computer and then nodded in confirmation. Gerard stripped of his beanie, gloves, hat, and scarf, throwing them all on Frank’s desk, and quickly got to work with the decorations. Frank sat back and watched as they transformed the place into a Christmas wonderland with fake snowflakes, garlands, and lights lining the walls and hanging from the ceiling. Gerard, being the perfectionist that he was, had paid attention to every detail, even adding fake Christmas gifts underneath the small Christmas tree they had.
Watching Gerard run excitedly around the office made Frank look forward to making their first Christmas together as a couple something for Gerard to remember. He had conjured up a plan already. He would continue with this anti-Christmas front. He even pretended to need persuasion when Gerard proposed that they would spend Christmas Eve together since they would be with their families on Christmas day. Without Gerard knowing, though, for the twelve days before Christmas, Frank would be leaving a gift outside of Gerard’s apartment each day. The gifts would be small Chrismtas-themed items just so that once Frank revealed it was him, Gerard would get a sense of how much Frank cared about Gerard’s love for Christmas. Gerard was a sucker for sentiment, so Frank knew he would be pleased.
**
On the first day, Frank left a box full of peppermint coffee creamer with a bow on top and a typed note, since Gerard would recognize his handwriting. The note read: “Since peppermint coffee tastes great but is only seasonal, hope this lasts till next year. Merry Christmas.” Frank stopped by at seven, which was two hours after Gerard usually got home. He left the box against the door, knocked loudly, and then ran off. He wanted to see Gerard’s face well up with how sweet this anonymous gesture was, but he did not want to risk being seen. So with a smile on his face, he ran back out into the cold.
On the second day, Frank left a stocking full of candy. This time the note said: “Some people think adults don’t want candy in their stocking, which really sucks, because they do. Merry Christmas.” Frank was surprised that Gerard hadn’t gushed to Frank about someone leaving him these anonymous gifts, so he figured Gerard was already suspicious of him.
The third gift Frank left Gerard was a box of gingerbread coffee creamer with a note that said: “You already have a box of peppermint coffee creamer, but seasonal coffee creamers are just really really good, so here's more. Merry Christmas.”
Frank had to admit that he was already losing fuel for his creativity only three days in. He could be creative about any other thing, but not Christmas. That would always be Gerard’s forte.
On the fourth day, Frank did not even write a note because he went to the grocery store right after work and browsed through the holiday aisle to find something Gerard would like. He saw a case of a dozen eggnog flavored cupcakes, which he cringed at, but took because Gerard ate and drank absolutely anything that was eggnog flavored.
Frank had some spare ribbon from the previous gifts in his car, so he tied a decent looking bow around the case of cupcakes, and then carried them up the stairs of Gerard’s apartment complex. Just when he turned the corner of the hallway, Frank spotted someone outside of Gerard’s apartment so he quickly jumped back, hiding behind the wall. He poked his head out to see if it was Gerard, but was confused to find a girl standing outside Gerard’s apartment.
Frank looked around to make sure he had the right floor and then squinted his eyes to make sure he was looking at the right apartment door. He was. That was definitely Gerard’s apartment. Frank mostly saw the girl's back and her side profile. She had short and messy black hair that was shrouding her face as she slouched a bit to dig through her purse. She wore a blazer on top of what looked like a couple of layers of sweaters over a knee length black flared skirt. With the skirt, she wore fishnet stockings – to Frank, that was not sensible considering how cold it was outside – and heeled combat boots.
For a moment, Frank was impressed by this girl’s outfit and then he snapped back to reality when she pulled a key out and unlocked the door to Gerard’s apartment. She slipped the key back into her purse and bent over to pick up the shopping bags she had left on the floor.
“Fuck,” Frank heard her mutter faintly when she noticed a tear on the side of her stockings. She examined the tear for a moment before finally picking up the bags, and going into the apartment, kicking the door shut with her foot.
Frank blinked at the hallway that was now as empty as his mind. He was so confused. He had absolutely no idea who that girl was, and he knew Gerard did not live with anyone. If he did, Frank would have known. If he had someone visiting, Frank would have definitely known. Even Frank did not have a spare key to Gerard’s apartment because the landlord only provided Gerard with one extra and Mikey, Gerard’s brother, kept the spare with him. So who was this girl? Why did she have a key to Gerard’s place? And most importantly, why did Frank know nothing of her existence?
He looked down at the cupcakes he still held in his hand and suddenly, the worst thought came to him. Gerard was cheating on him with this girl. That was the only logical conclusion Frank found himself able to come to. Hell, even Mikey had never mentioned this girl staying with Gerard. It would only be kept a secret if there was something to hide. Feeling absolutely nauseous, Frank went to carelessly drop the cupcakes in front of Gerard’s door – he did not knock nor did he bother fixing the bow that had fallen off – and then ran out to his car, hurrying home.
With the anger he felt completely overriding all his other senses, Frank was surprised he managed to make it home safely. He paced around his small living room, holding himself back from trashing his entire apartment. Anger was boiling beneath his skin. He managed to contain himself, only punching the wall a couple of times. A very small dent in the shape of his fist was left there and his knuckles would surely bruise, but he did not care. He wanted to do so much damage to everything around him because Gerard had shattered everything Frank ever thought of him.
They had been friends for years now and Gerard had never come off as the kind of guy who would cheat. He definitely went through quite a number of boyfriends and girlfriends when Frank first met him, but he was loyal. He was loyal to every single one of them, except Frank.
As soon as that thought crossed his mind, Frank’s fury was replaced by sadness. He sat on the sofa, holding his face in his hands, and breathed heavily to hold back his tears.
“So pathetic,” he muttered to himself, voice shaky with the threat of a sob lodged in his throat. “So fucking stupid.”
Taking one last deep breath to keep all his emotions bottled up inside of him, Frank went to the kitchen and grabbed a couple bottles of beer, the Christmas cookies his mom had sent for both himself and Gerard, and went to his room. He put a movie on and got comfortable in bed, downing the beer and finishing the cookies in a matter of minutes, hoping to distract himself from the gloom stirring in his stomach. It only worked for about half an hour before nausea crept up on him and he was running to the bathroom, his stomach not so welcoming to the beer and cookies he had taken in so quickly. Tears took their chance while he was vulnerable and finally crept out of his eyes as he wretched into the toilet.
He sat back when he was done, resting his head against the wall and staring up at the ceiling. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe Gerard was not cheating on him and the random mysterious girl was someone who could easily be explained. But then again, maybe not. Maybe there was no other probable explanation and Frank had to accept the fact that Gerard had cheated on him. The girl looked good from what Frank saw – he liked the way she looked so obviously Gerard would – so he could not even blame Gerard for being attracted to her.
Hours later, while he was in bed, feeling hollowed out and empty, he got a text from Gerard. It read: “I got everything we’re gonna need on Christmas Eve! I’m excited! :)”
Frank groaned and threw his phone across the room. He was not ready to confront the situation and even if he was, he had no idea how. So he did the one thing he knew he could do and that was to completely ignore Gerard’s existence.
**
With only a few days left before Christmas Eve, Gerard grew worried about Frank’s sudden absence. He was not answering calls or texts. Gerard even called the photography studio, but if his call was not ignored, Frank’s uncle would answer and say that Frank was busy and would return his call later. Frank never returned his call. Gerard kept telling himself that Frank was just swamped with the busy Christmas season; it was always their busiest time after all.
Frank could tell Gerard was getting worried. The amount of texts and calls he received from him was increasing each day and only caused Frank to cower away from confrontation more and more.
“Frank,” Uncle Ben said sternly, taking his camera off of its tripod. They had just finished their final appointment until the next year. It was Christmas Eve and Frank had successfully avoided Gerard.
“I know,” Frank said, laying down on the soft pillow they had used for the babies they had taken pictures of.
“You know what?”
“That I should call,” Frank mumbled. “That I should confront the problem or whatever. I know already, but I’m so scared.”
“Whatever he did to you, or that you think he did, you cannot leave him hanging, especially on Christmas Eve.”
Frank let out a loud sigh and buried his face into the pillow. He had told his uncle what happened, hoping for advice. Everything Uncle Ben told him had already been said to him by his conscience.
It was Christmas Eve. In just a couple of hours, he and Gerard were supposed to meet up at Gerard’s place and spend the night together. Frank had made the decision not to go at all, and his uncle did not approve.
“You just think about that for the rest of the night while you pack up,” Uncle Ben said, leaving the camera on the table for Frank to put away. “I’m off for the night. Make sure you clean everything and lock up.”
“Merry Christmas, Uncle,” Frank said lifelessly from where he lay. His uncle went over and bent down to ruffle at Frank’s hair.
“Merry Christmas, Frankie.”
Frank was alone then, with nothing but his constantly buzzing phone. Gerard had eased up on the calls and texts for a couple of days but he was relentless that day. Frank kept his phone in his pocket and started cleaning up the place. The whole studio reminded him of Gerard, decked out with his intricate decorations. Frank had been tempted to tear it all down and would have done it if it was not for his uncle threatening to kill him if he did.
Once everything was cleaned up and put away, Frank pulled out his phone and was surprised to see that Mikey had called him a couple of times. It had only been Gerard thus far, and so growing curious, Frank called Mikey back. He picked up on the first ring.
“Thank Jesus you’re alive,” Mikey said dramatically.
“Uh, hey, Mikes,” Frank greeted him, feeling a bit awkward. “What’s up?”
“I’m literally just calling to make sure you’re alive,” Mikey answered seriously. Before Frank could question him, Mikey continued. “Gerard is convinced you died since you haven’t answered any of his calls and texts and he was freaking out, so I’m calling to confirm you’re alive.”
“Oh,” Frank said, nodding to himself, “okay.”
“So, now that that’s settled,” Mikey said, “why are you ignoring him?”
Frank held his lips shut tight. He could not tell Mikey that he was sure Gerard was cheating on him; part of it was because he did not want to put Mikey in a weird situation considering Gerard was his brother, and another part was that Frank was embarrassed and ashamed. Gerard had cheated on him and that was something he did not want anyone to know.
“No, no,” Mikey suddenly said, “you know what, don’t answer that. I swore that if you guys dated, I would stay out of shit. So… whatever is going on with you guys, uh, good luck or whatever.”
“Um, thanks,” Frank said slowly.
“No problem and Merry Christmas!”
Frank did not have time to respond because Mikey had already hung up. Scrubbing at his tired eyes, Frank sat down at the front desk and just thought. He had lost so much sleep the past few days because his mind could not rest. He thought about Gerard, unaware of why Frank was ignoring him, waiting to spend Christmas Eve together. Even though Gerard had done the worst thing imaginable to Frank, Frank still felt bad. He figured that the least he could do to be better than Gerard was to be upfront with him.
With a bit more coaxing from himself, Frank finally decided to go see Gerard. He locked up the studio, stopped by his house to pick up the gift he was supposed to give Gerard – just because he was being mature and going to see him did not mean that he would not do whatever he could to guilt him – and then hurried over to Gerard’s apartment.
Frank stood outside of Gerard’s door for about a whole minute before he finally knocked and the door swung open just a second after.
“Frank!” Gerard exclaimed, eyes wide upon seeing him. Frank was more than surprised when Gerard pulled him into a suffocating hug. “Fuck, where have you been?”
“Uh, around, I guess,” Frank said.
Gerard pulled away quickly when he sensed Frank’s mood was a bit off. He eyed him strangely and then moved aside so Frank could step inside. Frank went in and threw the small gift wrapped box onto Gerard’s sofa and just stood there, hands in his pockets, ignoring the decorations Gerard had put up and the dining table he had set for them even though Frank had been ignoring him.
“So, um, I didn’t make dinner,” Gerard said, picking at his nails nervously, “’cause I didn’t know if you were still gonna show up or not. But the table is set and stuff, so I could order take out? If you wanted?”
“I’m not…” Frank paused, taking a breath to steady himself. “I didn’t come so we could have our Christmas dinner or whatever it was you planned, Gerard.”
“Oh,” Gerard said, barely audible. He looked so nervous, which only made Frank more sure of what he had been theorizing. “Why then?”
“I’ve been ignoring you,” Frank said bluntly.
“I noticed,” Gerard said, scratching the back of his head. “It got kind of obvious after, like, two days.”
“And you already know why,” Frank added.
“I do?” Gerard asked, eyebrows furrowed. He had not moved from his spot by the closed front door, and neither had Frank from his place by the couch.
“Seriously?” Frank scoffed. “Of course you do.”
“Frank, I honestly d—”
“I saw her, Gerard,” Frank said exasperatedly. He crossed his arms and looked straight at Gerard, no longer avoiding eye contact. “I came by and I saw her outside your apartment, with a fucking key, and groceries, like she basically lived here with you.”
“Wait, who—”
“And it’s not like I’ve been to your apartment that much,” Frank continued, reasoning out loud. “And even when I do, I don’t look around. I don’t look in your closet or in your cabinets. I always trusted you, but maybe if I did I would have figured shit out a long time ago instead of having to find out like—”
“Okay, Frank, stop,” Gerard finally interrupted him. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“Seriously, Gerard?” Frank shook his head, laughing at the entire situation. “I bet if I go look in your closet, I’ll find her clothes, won’t I?”
“W-What?” Gerard’s voice faltered a bit.
“I’ll be one of those boyfriends so I can get the truth out of you,” Frank said with a confident nod. He turned around and headed towards Gerard’s room.
“Frank, wait!”
Frank didn’t, though. He went straight into Gerard’s room and slid one side of the closet door open. All he could see there were regular clothes that Gerard often wore. He slid of the other side of the closet door open, and in a small section, near the corner, he found women’s clothing. Anger coursing through him, he pushed all the hangers aside, so he could see the women’s clothes properly.
“So,” Frank said, turning around. Gerard was standing behind him, eyebrows close together, looking so worried. “Who is she, Gerard?”
“She isn’t—”
“Don’t try and tell me she’s a long lost sister, or a cousin, or a friend, or a relative, or any other bullshit, Gerard,” Frank cut him off. “I would have known about her if that’s what she was.”
“Frank, she’s not any of those,” Gerard said, letting out a defeated sigh.
Frank bit his lip, bracing himself for the truth. He crossed his arms, hoping to look strong and like the truth of the situation had not torn him apart for the past week and a half.
“So how long have you guys been a thing?” Frank asked. “Does she even know about me? W-Why would you even do something like this? I don’t—”
“God, Frank, please shut up for a minute,” Gerard said, groaning and rubbing a hand over his face. “She – the girl – is not anyone. It’s… Jesus, I can’t believe you thought I was cheating.”
“What?” Frank scoffed. “So you’re not? What’s your excuse then, hm?”
“It’s me,” Gerard said, sticking his hands into his pockets and hunching over as if he was curling in on himself. “I… I dress like that when I go out sometimes.”
Frank’s eyebrows shot up and he just stared at Gerard. There was a tense silence between them. They both looked at each other expectantly, Gerard waiting for a comment and Frank waiting for further explanation.
“It’s just this occasional thing I do,” Gerard went on, shrugging shyly. “No one knows about it, not even Mikey.”
“An occasional thing?” Frank asked skeptically. “You mean these clothes are yours. You crossdress…”
Gerard nodded, cheeks pink with blush and eyes downcast. He was not afraid that Frank would be violent or judgemental about the matter – Frank wasn’t that kind of person – but he was unsure of how understanding Frank would be.
When he heard Frank laugh a bit, Gerard’s eyes snapped up to look at him. Frank was shaking his head.
“That’s your excuse, Gerard?” Frank sneered. “That’s how you’re convincing me these aren’t some other girls’ clothes. By telling me you’re a crossdresser.”
“Occasionally,” Gerard reiterated. “Frank, I’m serious.”
“This would hurt a lot less if you just came out and said it.”
“I wouldn’t joke about this!” Gerard suddenly exclaimed, catching Frank’s attention. Gerard did not look as nervous as he did before. He looked determined and, as much as Frank hated to admit it, he looked genuine. Frank knew that look on Gerard's face. He had seen it when Gerard was determined to set forth a point he truly stood behind. “It’s been this thing for me for a while, and I’ve kept it hidden from everyone. Whenever you stopped by, you probably saw me coming into my apartment while I was, you know, dressed like her.”
Frank wanted to say something skeptical, but it was always hard for him to argue against this resolute Gerard, no matter what he believed, so he stayed silent instead. Gerard took the silence as continued disbelief, so he sought to prove his point even further.
“Did you get a good look at her that day?” Gerard asked.
“What?”
“When you saw the girl outside my apartment,” Gerard explained, “did you get a good look at her?”
“I mostly saw her back and side,” Frank answered slowly.
“What was she wearing?”
“I…Why are you asking me?”
“Just tell me,” Gerard demanded.
“Okay, okay.” Frank was ashamed at how easily he remembered the girl’s outfit because he was still impressed till this day with how good she looked. “She had on this jacket or something and like sweaters under. And a black skirt, kinda flowy. And fishnets and combat boots.”
Gerard pressed his lips into a thin line, like he was thinking. Frank had opened his mouth to ask what exactly they were doing and why he had to talk about the girl Gerard was cheating on him with when he was being shoved out of the room.
“Just stay out there for a bit,” Gerard said. “Gimme like ten or fifteen minutes.”
“What the—”
“Please,” Gerard begged, his eyes wide and earnest. “Don’t leave. This has been the worst fucking Christmas season ever, so just… just do me this favor.”
Frank sighed loudly. “Fine. Fifteen minutes tops.”
Gerard gave him a small smile and shut the bedroom door. Frank dropped down onto the sofa, picking up Gerard’s gift and tossing it around in his hands. The plan had been to confront Gerard, use the gift to guilt him, and then leave and never look back. Yet there he was, waiting while Gerard did God knows what in the room. Frank wanted to be wrong so badly that he was willing to listen to a million excuses that Gerard had to offer until one sounded the least bit convincing. He let his head fall back and stared up at the ceiling. Even though he was not convinced, he still desperately hoped he was wrong.
It felt like an eternity that he was sitting in the living room, waiting. He had not even timed Gerard so he had no idea if fifteen minutes had already passed when he heard the bedroom door open. He stood up off the sofa and waited, but Gerard didn’t step out, so he went to the room himself.
There were no expectations whatsoever in Frank’s mind upon walking into Gerard’s room, but what he saw before him surpassed anything he could ever come up with. Gerard stood there, one hand on his hip, looking confident and looking… nothing like himself and looking so good that Frank’s mouth went dry.
Gerard was wearing the exact outfit Frank had seen on the girl that day. The skirt was not a skirt; it was actually a dress, hidden beneath the blazer he had on, which successfully hid his male figure. He even had on the same fishnet tights with the small tear on the side still there, and the heeled combat boots. They gave his legs a nice curve. His legs, pale skin peeking out from underneath those tights, looked so sensual, so womanlike. Frank lifted his gaze and found that Gerard had even put on a soft hint of makeup. Dark liner lined the inside of his eyes only and his lips were adorned with red lipstick. His hair was just the right length to hang around his face, straightened so that it looked softer, and made him convincingly look like a woman.
Frank opened his mouth to speak, yet could not make a sound. He was speechless.
“You saw her from the back, right?” Gerard asked and Frank was taken aback to hear Gerard’s voice come out of that body. He was almost convinced that it was not Gerard at all. Frank’s mouth still hung open and he just stared at Gerard, who turned around, hand still on his hip, giving Frank a view of his back. “Does this look like her?”
It looked exactly like her. Frank could not forget those legs, those long pale fingers picking at the small hole in the tights. That was really Gerard. It was not another woman. There was no denying it now.
Gerard turned back around to face Frank.
“Well? Are you convinced now?”
“You really do this thing then,” Frank finally spoke, swallowing loudly.
“I do,” Gerard said with a nod.
“Why?” Frank asked. “N-Not that it’s a bad thing, no it’s actually… good. You look good, I mean, uh…”
Gerard smiled slightly, one side of his red lips hitching up. “It’s just nice to feel… different sometimes. And it’s not a bad different. It feels nice to wear this and be a totally different person, be treated differently by people. If I can pull it off, and if it doesn’t feel bad, why not?”
“Do you wanna like, you know, change?” Frank asked, hoping he was not coming off as offensive at all.
Gerard’s smile widened and Frank was captivated by the way the red stretched when he did. “No, I told you it’s occasional. I’m not in transition or anything. It’s just a change, like I said. Sometimes I just need a confidence boost, I guess, and this gives me that. Plus, I’m not gonna lie, holiday shopping as a girl is so much easier because people are way nicer. I mean, they’re probably flirting, but whatever, it makes it all easier.”
Gerard blabbered on, waving his hands aimlessly, and Frank was in even more awe that those ramblings and that voice were truly coming out of that entirely new body.
“Can I just—” Frank stopped halfway through his question and stepped closer to Gerard, standing right in front of him, breathing in the hint of floral perfume imprinted on his clothes. “You look so good.”
“You think so?” Gerard bit his lower lip and Frank could not help himself.
Pulling Gerard down by the back of his head, he pressed their mouths together in a fervent kiss, desperate to feel those red lips against his own.
“You like this?” Gerard asked breathlessly when they pulled away from each other. “You like the way I look?”
“I fucking love it,” Frank said, pulling Gerard back into another kiss.
Frank allowed his hands to wander beneath the lapels of Gerard's blazer, over the thin and soft fabric of the dress that was tightly hugging his upper body. It was the same body Frank always touched, and yet his hands felt so different on Gerard’s waist. He turned them around a bit and pushed Gerard back until he reached the bed, settling himself between Gerard’s legs.
Frank bit and sucked at Gerard’s neck, Gerard sighing and moaning every time Frank’s hot breath hit his sensitive skin. Frank pushed Gerard’s legs further apart, slipping one hand down to run over his stockings. He almost moaned at the feel of the fabric against his skin as he ran his palm slowly up the top of Gerard’s thigh and then curving towards the inside. Gerard arched his back, pushing his hips forward, so desperate to be touched already. Frank could not tease at all because his patience was long gone. He ran his hand further up Gerard’s thigh, finding bare skin there, surprised to realize that the fishnets were only thigh highs, and even more surprised to find rough lacey fabric when he reached Gerard’s crotch.
“Fuck, Gerard, please don’t tell me you’re wearing lace panties," Frank said with a gasp, pulling away to look at Gerard. He already knew the answer, his fingers feeling the fabric that stretched over Gerard’s hard cock.
“Take a look and tell me.”
Frank groaned and pushed Gerard down onto his back. Gerard quickly shoved at his boots until they slipped right off and then scooted back onto the bed so that Frank could crawl onto it. He anticipated Frank to crawl over him but Frank remained between his legs, pushing the skirt of Gerard’s dress up and out of the way. Gerard took the chance to get rid of his jacket, sitting up a bit to slip out of it.
“Fuck, Frank, let me get out of this dress first, I’m dying,” Gerard whined, feeling like he was sweating right through it.
Frank helped him sit up and then reached behind him to pull down the zipper. Gerard pulled out of the sleeves and pulled it up and off of him, throwing it aside. Frank bit his lip when he saw Gerard so exposed, in nothing but the black lace panties and the fishnets that squeezed his fleshy thighs.
Gerard could see the hungry look in Frank’s eyes, so before things moved along, Gerard grabbed at Frank’s jacket to get it off. He got as far as getting Frank out of his jacket and t-shirt, before Frank pushed him down onto his back again and scooted down his body, kissing and biting at Gerard’s hips where his skin portruded over the waistband of the panties.
“Fuck, I never realized how hot this would be,” Frank breathed out, pulling the panties down and off of Gerard. "Were you just casually wearing them around the house?"
"No," Gerard answered, struggling to form words. "It's just when I dress the part, I have to do all of it, you know? I can't do a half-assed job or whatever."
Frank laughed because that was such a ridiculously Gerard thing to do. He would always be a perfectionist even when it came down to dressing like a girl so he could prove to Frank he wasn't a cheater.
Frank ran his hand over Gerard’s erection, looking up at Gerard as he did so, entranced by the smeared lipstick around Gerard's mouth that he had most likely gotten on himself as well. Gerard stared up at the ceiling and moaned, waiting for Frank to continue. Frank did not take long at all. He was quick to replace his hand with his mouth, sucking Gerard almost all the way in immediately.
“Oh, fuck,” Gerard moaned above him, threading a hand through Frank’s hair and gripping tight.
Frank was driving Gerard crazy, taking him in almost fully and sucking hard as he did, before pulling all the way off to lick at the head and up the side with his tongue, eyes shut as he did so, fully concentrated. He went down to lick at Gerard’s balls, sucking one into his mouth, which he knew drove Gerard crazy. Gerard hissed loudly, releasing a shaky moan after. Frank hoisted Gerard’s thighs over his shoulders before sucking Gerard’s cock back into his mouth again.
When he stopped to suck roughly on the tip, Gerard’s thighs tensed and tightened around his face, the warm flesh pressing against his cheeks. Frank had one hand on Gerard’s thigh, gripping against the fishnets, finger teasing at the tear that was there. He rocked his own hips against the bed, and it was a cheap shot at friction, but it was better than nothing. The denim held him back from really getting what he needed out of the mattress, but he continued grinding against it anyways, feeling way too good to stop. He moaned loudly against Gerard in his mouth, the friction paying off somewhat.
“Frank,” Gerard gasped, reaching down to pull at his hair. “Fuck, Frank, s-stop.”
Frank sucked him back in one more time before pulling off completely. He looked up and found Gerard’s head still thrown back, his chest heaving wildly with quick breaths.
“God, you drive me crazy,” Gerard panted, lifting his head up to look down at Frank.
“Don’t even get me started on what you do to me,” Frank said roughly, crawling back up Gerard’s body and giving him a string of quick kisses before he sat up and finally rid himself of his jeans and underwear. Gerard lay there and waited until Frank settled on top of him again and kissed up the side of Gerard's neck, behind his ear.
“I wanna fuck you in these fishnets,” Frank whispered against his skin.
“Yeah?” Gerard urged, reaching down and slowly stroking Frank.
“Fuck yeah,” Frank sighed, allowing Gerard to stroke him a few times before he sat up and rolled Gerard onto his stomach.
Frank reached over to the nightstand for the condom and lube and he was quick about that part, getting the condom on and coating himself. He knew Gerard was always okay without any prep, so kneeling between Gerard’s legs, he pushed himself in, holding Gerard’s cheeks apart as he did. They both moaned as Frank slowly eased himself all the way in.
He leaned down, pressing his chest to Gerard’s back as he began rocking against him, gently at first. Gerard turned his head a bit and kissed him briefly before facing forward and letting out a small moan, eliciting Frank to move faster. Frank did exactly that, still pressed against Gerard, but hips rocking against him in a smooth rhythm.
“Fuck me, Frank,” Gerard groaned loudly, pressing his forehead down against his forearms.
“You want me to go harder?” Frank gasped into his ear. Gerard nodded in response and Frank pulled his head up by his hair. “I didn’t hear you,” he snarled breathily.
“Please,” Gerard panted, “please…harder.”
Frank lifted himself up to his knees and did as Gerard asked, gripping Gerard’s waist as he slammed into him repeatedly, the bed shaking with each thrust. Gerard moaned loudly and Frank moaned right back, fingers biting into Gerard’s skin.
Frank pulled Gerard’s hips back, pulling him up so that they were both on their knees and Gerard was rocking back onto Frank. Frank wanted to be able to see Gerard’s legs folded up beneath him, fishnets clinging to his splayed out and sweaty skin. Gerard braced himself on his hands and pushed back onto Frank, grinding against Frank’s lap.
“Fuck, Gerard,” Frank rasped, clutching onto Gerard’s stocking-clad ankle with one hand, and holding his own hair with the other. “Just like that, keep doing… shit.”
Frank was coming close to the edge; he could feel it tingling in his skin every time that Gerard so much as moved an inch against him. Frank shut his eyes and threw his head back, feeling the warmth build up in his stomach.
“Fuck,” Frank breathed, suddenly pushing Gerard onto his hands and knees so that he could jerk himself off the rest of the way. His body shook as he came onto Gerard’s thighs, properly staining the back of Gerard’s fishnets like he had envisioned himself doing. Gerard held still through it, breathing heavily as Frank moaned through the aftershocks of his climax. Once his body relaxed, Frank sat there for a moment running a finger down Gerard’s backside, until he was brought out of his haze by Gerard’s moans.
Frank pressed up behind Gerard and reached around to his front, taking hold of Gerard’s leaking dick and stroking him tight and fast. Gerard moaned and cursed, rocking into Frank’s fist, and then let out a loud groan when he felt Frank shove two fingers into him, going into an immediate scissoring motion.
“Oh God, Frank,” Gerard barely managed to choke out, voice high pitched and straining as he came close to his own climax.
With a few crooks of his finger, Frank felt Gerard clench around his digits and then heard him practically yell as his orgasm hit him. Frank pulled his fingers out but continued slowly stroking Gerard through it. Gerard released these small whimper-like moans as he continued rocking his hips slightly. When he stilled and let out an exasperated breath, Frank let him go. Gerard rolled onto his back and lay there, eyes shut.
Frank stared down at Gerard, still in his thigh-highs, face smudged with the remains of his makeup, hair a mess from the sweat; Frank shook his head in disbelief. For so many days, he had truly been convinced that Gerard had betrayed him in the worst way possible.
As if sensing Frank’s thoughts, Gerard opened his eyes and looked at him.
“This has been the craziest shit,” Gerard said with a sigh, putting a hand up to Frank’s neck and pulling him down for a quick kiss. “But I’m glad you believe me now. I could never cheat on you, Frank.”
“I know, I know.” Frank nodded, smiling at his own stupidity. His forehead rested against Gerard's. “I should have never even thought that. But I would have never thought any of this.”
“And I would have never thought you would react like this.” Gerard chuckled. “I seriously had no idea how everything would go, but God tonight was amazing.”
Frank nodded, giving Gerard a few short pecks before settling down next to him, snuggling into his side with his head against Gerard’s shoulder.
“I really thought that chic was hot,” Frank confessed, laughing at himself. “And I was mad at myself for thinking she was hot ‘cause I was like fuck, Gerard is cheating on me with his girl.”
Gerard shook against Frank, laughing with him.
“So was it you that left the destroyed cupcakes outside my door then?” Gerard questioned.
Frank’s face warmed up a bit because he had planned that twelve days of Christmas idea but did not follow through with it because of his ridiculous theories.
“Yeah,” Frank said sheepishly. “I was supposed to do a twelve days of Christmas thing for you, but that failed because… well… you know.”
Gerard laughed even harder and nodded in understanding. “Yeah, I know. It was such a sweet idea, though. I loved the stuff you dropped off; they were so thoughtful and sweet." Gerard kissed Frank's temple. "Even if things didn't go how we planned, it was still an awesome Christmas Eve.”
Frank nodded in agreement. “I know the crossdressing thing is only occasional for you, but can it not be occasional for us? Can it happen a lot? With a lot of other outfits?”
Gerard smirked as many ideas filled his head about what they could do with Frank’s newly found love of Gerard’s other side. “It’ll definitely be a regular thing for us,” Gerard assured him. He turned his head and saw that the clock on his nightstand said it was three minutes past midnight. Gerard lifted Frank’s chin up with his finger and kissed him so slowly and intricately. “Merry Christmas, Frank.”
Frank smiled, so happy to be back in Gerard’s arms with no worries and anxieties. “Merry Christmas, Gerard.”
Frank really hated Christmas. But this year, he loved it.