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some kind of proof it's not a dream

Summary:

Five times Jake and Amy pretended to be in love, and one time they weren't pretending.

(A.K.A. An account of the times Jake and Amy have fake-dated)

Notes:

*banging pots and pans together* IT'S DONE WE DID IT KIDS, welcome to the thing that has been actively consuming my life for a week and a half

this was very fun to write, fake dating is the undisputed champion of all tropes and i am not below writing SIX different scenarios of this trope for one fic, also i love writing their text messages because i text like both of them in equal parts (but mostly like my dear son yakob peralberg)

anywhoops enjoy this thing

Chapter Text

“Is there no other way we could pull this off?” Amy groaned, smoothing out the front of her blouse impulsively.

“Why? Afraid that you're not gonna be able to resist my wily charms once you've gotten a taste?” Jake fired back, waggling his eyebrows.

“Be serious, Peralta. Captain McGintley gave us a deadline on this case, he wants us back at the precinct with Marston’s arrest report done by tomorrow.” Amy grumbled at him, unclipping her badge from her belt and shoving it into her purse.

“And that's why you should trust me on this. Or don't, we're doing it anyways.” He said, kicking the car door closed as he stood. Amy just rolled her eyes and conceded defeat, pushing off the old mustang and starting towards the restaurant.

She didn't make it far, though – Jake had hooked a hand around her arm and pulled her back gently. She looked back at him with a scowl, but he spoke up before she could tell him off.

“You can't go in like that, you still look like a cop.” He mumbled. Reaching behind her, he carefully pulled her hair out of its clip and rearranged it over one shoulder. “Untuck your shirt a little bit. Also, your handcuffs are still showing.”

As much as she wanted to argue, Amy complied, untucking her blouse and opening the top two buttons. She passed her handcuffs to her partner, who tucked them away in his jacket pocket and offered her a lopsided grin.

“Alrighty then. The unauthentic Italian cuisine awaits, m’lady.” Jake motioned for her to take the lead, and they made their way towards the restaurant. As they rounded the corner, Amy started slightly at the sensation of fingers intertwining with hers.

“Chill, Santiago. Marston’s not gonna buy it if you don't take it down a notch.” Jake murmured, his palm warm against hers.

“Sorry. I'm a little on edge.” She muttered back as she relaxed her posture, adjusting her grip so her hand rested more comfortably in his.

He bumped his shoulder against hers lightly and offered her a reassuring grin. “You'll do fine. You got your wire on?”

Amy tapped her collar in confirmation. “Tested it before we left.”

“Dope.”

The two of them had been working together for a little over four months now, and against Amy’s better judgement, she was slowly getting used to his immaturity. Sure, she still wanted to dump the contents of her trash can over his head on a daily basis, but unlike when she first started at the Nine-Nine, those occurrences had been mediated by a few rare moments of sincerity on Jake’s part.

He pushed open the door to the restaurant, ushering Amy in. “Follow my lead,” he whispered from behind her.

The object of their attention, Freddie Marston, sat at a booth near the back of the poorly-lit restaurant. They'd been tailing him for a little less than a week, building up their case file – Amy was positive he was their guy, and Jake had taken her word for it, but they were just shy of enough evidence against Marston to hold up in court, so they had devised a plan to expose him.

“Hi, welcome to La Griglia. Table for two?” A bored-looking waitress appeared from behind a set of double doors, tray in hand.

“Yes, please. Would we be able to sit near that back corner?” Jake asked, voice low enough so that Marston wouldn't hear him, but still audible. Normally, Amy would object to asking wait staff to choose their own table – she had done her fair share of waitressing through college, and knew how annoying it was – but something told her this woman wouldn't bat an eye if they walked into the kitchen and made their own dinner.

“Whatever.” The waitress replied, rolling her eyes and leading them towards the back. Jake grinned, tugging on Amy’s hand as they followed. The place was pretty barren – aside from themselves and their target, she could count how many other people were there on one hand.

They were brought to a table a few spots away from Marston, and Jake cleared his throat loudly once the waitress had left. “Have a seat, sweetheart. I hear this place makes an amazing eggplant parmigiana.”

“Wonderful, I've been craving Italian for days,” Amy replied, a bit too loud and gawky to be believable. Jake squeezed her hand gently and gave her a pointed look before pulling her chair out and seating himself across the table. “I hope this place isn't too expensive.”

“Nonsense, darling. You know well enough we can afford it. Or have you forgotten about my luck with the family fortune? With the money coming our way, we'll be able to eat out every night.” Jake stated, voice raised just enough to be overheard. He smirked slightly when he saw Marston’s head turn towards them from the corner of his eye.

Amy just smiled at him gently. “That sounds wonderful, babe. Maybe we’ll finally be able to go on that Europe trip we’ve always dreamed of.”

Jake laughed, beaming at her. “Sure thing. I just wish that our insurance agent hadn't moved away. He had some good ideas for investments. You know how awful I am with money.”

This seemed to grab Marston’s attention, as he stood and waltzed up to their table, grinning smugly. “Hey, folks. I don't mean to pry, but I hear you need some insurance help?”

Jake’s eyes glinted with pride, and he turned to face the older man. “Why, yes. Do you know a guy?”

“I certainly do, young fella. Freddie Marston, pleasure to make your acquaintance,” He drawled out, shaking Jake’s hand firmly. He turned to Amy, and she forced a sweet smile as he kissed the back of her hand, fighting off a shudder.

“I deal in personal insurance. All I need from you is a down payment of $2,000 and I can ensure your fortune will last you a lifetime and a half.” Marston promised.

“Wow, that sure sounds great! What do you think, babe?” Amy turned to Jake, silent pleading in her eyes. She was so ready for this to be over. They had enough from the recording to prove his intentions, and coupled with what they already had on him, it would be sufficient enough to make an arrest. Jake seemed to have gotten the message, as he mirrored Amy’s expression back to her.

“Let me just grab my wallet, here, Mr. Marston - I'll write you a check for the amount.” He stated as he reached for his cuffs, pulling them out and promptly slapping them on Marston’s wrists. “Oops, I lied. Freddie Marston, you're under arrest for embezzlement and insurance fraud.”

Ignoring the protested shouts from their collar, Jake smiled across the table at Amy as she read out the Miranda rights. She beamed back proudly, and took up residence at his side as they led Marston back out of the restaurant.

“Told you we’d be fine.” Jake exclaimed brightly.

“Yeah, you did. I never would’ve guessed we’d be a convincing couple,” Amy added, smug.

“Hey, you were the one who suggested it in the first place!” He retorted.

“No, I suggested we stake him out for a few more days before trying the undercover approach. I guess you couldn't resist this any longer,” She joked, motioning to herself.

“…is something no lover of yours has ever said!” Jake tacked on to the end of her sentence, earning himself a whack on the arm as they walked back to his car, Marston in tow.

It was still a slow-going process, learning to trust each other like they had on that day, but Amy reminded herself that in the end, it would be worth it to have a partner she can rely on, no matter how far away that day seemed.

If only she knew how close it really was.