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Tired was the weakest word he had to describe how he felt. Exhausted, overworked, sore ; none of it quite captured the ache that seeped deep into his bones after a four week mission that all but went to hell on day two. There were too many close calls for comfort in the past month, but despite it all he had made it back to headquarters in one piece, which was more than enough to be thankful for in his experience.
“That was...long.” He heard Hanzo close the door behind them, his voice as worn as Jesse felt.
“Mhm,” McCree could only hum from his throat in acknowledgement, even his overly talkative nature needing to recharge. He managed to fall onto their bed after taking off his serape, barely conscious. The cotton sheets didn’t have that greatest of a thread counts, but compared to the hard cold ground in Volskaya it felt like a thousand silken sheets woven from clouds. He hardly noticed that Hanzo was pulling off his boots until he heard the familiar jingle of spurs hitting the floor.
“Turn over,” Hanzo instructed, methodically stripping the chest piece off Jesse who complied. Small moments like this continued to surprise him even after a few months of their relationship hitting it’s ‘official’ status. It was odd that they were at the stage where he still was learning new things about Hanzo daily but at the same time he felt like they were an old married couple with ritualistic routines. Odd in the best of ways he mused.
“Oh hun, ya don’t gotta,” he drawled though making no attempt to stop him. Hanzo smirked as he undressed him, making a few requests for him to move his arm up, or to raise his legs. McCree could only look at him with admiration behind heavy eyes. “What I’d ever do to score someone like you.” He murmured absently.
A glow of scarlet brushed his high cheekbones, one of Jesse’s favorite colors. “So embarrassing,” he said softly, stroking a strand of dark hair out off McCree’s forehead.
“Ya know ya love me,” Jesse grinned as Hanzo lightly slapped his now bare chest.
“And you are fortunate you’re so cute,” He bent down for a chaste kiss before flicking his nose.
McCree shrugged, “What can I say, I can’t help it. It’s just my face.” Hanzo scrunched his nose at him, although he hid his smile poorly. “I know, I know. Shower before bed after a mission like that.” It was a fair rule that Hanzo had, he was as sweaty and dirty as a man could be after a near day on air travel, but his body protested any attempts at movement. His bare skin on the cool sheets was like heaven, and it didn’t help that the love of his life was sitting next to him, his hand resting on his chest.
“Hmm,” Hanzo hummed as he sat up, gesturing for McCree to help undress him. “Perhaps today can be an exception. It’s been a rough month.”
Jesse slipped Hanzo’s gi off of his shoulders, tracing his hand on the smooth skin and hard muscle underneath. He was always in awe of how he kept getting tongue tied around Hanzo, that it was always like the first time he kissed him all over again. He hoped it always would be; it made him feel like the young man he once was.
“Rough is putting it nicely,” Jesse huffed. “I can recall three times that I thought I was gonna lose my other arm.” He rolled over when Hanzo went over to his dresser, pulling out a pair of sweatpants. “Lord, ‘fraid I was gonna lose my head once too.” He laughed wondering how he always managed to end up face first in danger, it seemed there was a cosmic bullet with his name on it just waiting.
He felt a flick on his back, causing him to look up to meet Hanzo’s dark gaze. “Don’t joke about that.” He settled back next to him, running his fingertips in circles over his shoulders. “It scares me.”
“I didn’t reckon anything could make a Shimada scared, let alone you.” He closed his eyes melting under his touch. “And ya know if anything was gonna kill me it woulda by now.”
“I know, but still.” His voice was low and raspy. He sounded tired, even weary. “I want you to be safe. I should’ve watched your back better, I should’ve--”
“Woah, woah there darlin’,” McCree turned over so that he was facing him, cutting Hanzo off. “Let’s not get worked up here. Ya did a great job, we all did. And we’re all back, all fine and dandy.” He took his hand, kissing the knuckles gently. “You’re always so hard on yourself, ya deserve some slack. Trying to keep me out of trouble is like keeping fish outta water, it just don’t stick.”
McCree gave his prized charming half-grin, although Hanzo appeared unfazed. “You’re beautiful.”Jesse caught a hint of a smile, long eyelashes cast down. “And smart, and funny, and brave. Not to mention the best shot I’ve ever seen with my two eyes.” McCree whistled in appreciation as Hanzo’s cheeks pinkened. “And I love you. I don’t rightly know what had to happen in this world for us to meet and end up like this, but I love ya. Cross my heart.”
Hanzo cracked, giving a him a long sigh paired with an easy smile. “And I love you too, you terribly endearing man.” He ran his finger’s through McCree’s hair, just brushing the top of his scalp. “You are way too pretty for a man of your age and lifestyle.”
“Aww, ya think lil ole me is pretty?” Jesse rested his head on Hanzo’s chest where he could feel rather than hear his laughter. “I usually get the ‘ruggedly handsome’ sort of thing, but I’ll settle for being pretty to ya.”
“Always such a flirt,” Hanzo twirled Jesse’s hair lazily, his voice becoming husky and slow. “How did I manage to ever steal you up.”
Jesse scoffed, wrapping an arm around his stomach. “If I do recall it was you who was overly flighty when this all started.” His skin was warm, a bit greasy and dirty to the touch, but McCree couldn’t care less in his current state. Even after a week without a shower Hanzo was still the most gorgeous thing he’d ever lay eyes on, mind and body.
Hanzo chuckled, planting a kiss on top of his head. “Be nice, I was just...not used to it. Being attracted to someone again, being attracted to you. ” He murmured something unintelligible into McCree’s hair, the warmth of his breath tickling the base of his neck.
There was a flutter in his chest, the origin of his blush that crept up to his cheeks. McCree wasn’t a particularly bad man, but he was far from good. To think that he could have at least these few moments of bliss was a blessing through and through, he often wondered if he was stuck in a dream, if this sweetness was even real. He was never one for commitment, thinking long term about anything usually sent him packing but this was different. He was in love, as odd for a nearly forty year old outlaw to suddenly go through, he was utterly and entirely smitten. Hanzo sighed contently against him, stretching an arm around his back, scratching lightly as he began to doze off.
“I’d like to thank whatever god there is out there for giving me a cute face,” he winked at Hanzo who snorted in return. “Nah, but really. I have no idea why you’re so sweet on someone like me.” He buried his face into his chest, practically laying on top of Hanzo now. “Not that I’m one to look a gift horse in the mouth.”
Hanzo framed his face with his hands, rubbing along his jawline with his thumb. “You always go on about being good to me, I should endeavor to do the same.”
Jesse grinned at this, burying his face back into his chest needy for the contact of his skin against his own. He smelled like sweat and dirt, but there was something entirely Hanzo to it that made it an obsession.
Hanzo chuckled. “Am I your pillow now? You’re so fond of chests.”
“Guilty as charged.” McCree pressed a kiss to his pectoral, just below his tattoo. “But not everyone can be an ass man like you.”
“Guilty as charged,” Hanzo parroted, playfully slapping his butt. “It’s those jeans you’re always wearing, I swear they’re a size too tight to be comfortable. How is a man supposed to concentrate when you like to lean against every table in sight?”
Jesse laughed, feeling warm and bright despite how he fought to keep his eyes open at this point. “Maybe that was the goal, I was just trying to attract a man who appreciates a nice ass.”
Hanzo scoffed, “I’m sure.”
“Hey, you’re here so I guess it worked well enough.” Jesse succumbed to his heavy lids and allowed himself to relax focusing only on Hanzo’s steady breathing and solid presence.
“Yeah I guess so,” his voice was softer, exhaustion taking him over as well. His fingers swirled lazily across his skin, tracing various scars with reverence. “I suppose you can take a shower when we wake up.”
“So sweet to me, so good.” McCree practically purred feeling heavy in Hanzo’s arms. “How will I ever make it up to ya?”
Hanzo’s hand wrapped around his head possessively, angling his face up for a drowsy kiss. “Hm, I have an idea. I could accompany you in the shower later.”
“Oh, I see what you’re after.” McCree pressed his lips to the corner of his mouth wearing a smirk. “ So one track minded, Shimada.”
“It’s to conserve water.” Hanzo bent his head down to give him a series of soft kisses trailing from his eyelids to his nose. “And maybe some other things.”
“Mhm,” Jesse couldn’t help but blush like he was a teenager again. It had taken him a while to let himself be loved, to truly feel comfortable and let down his guard fully around someone else. He was glad it was Hanzo. He trusted the man with his life on the battlefield and had grown to trust him with much more. “It’s a date.”
Hanzo snorted, his hands moving less now. “If that’s what we’re calling it now, then yes a date.” He gave an amused sigh, before landing one final kiss on Jesse’s forehead. “Get some rest, my love.”
He didn’t have to tell Jesse twice, he was warm and content right where he was. Both of their lives had been filled with pain and heartache and their fair share of limb-losing but at this moment Jesse liked to think they’d be okay. For once, he didn’t even think he was lying to himself to be able to sleep.
McCree honed into Hanzo’s steadying breathing, the constant small noise eased his mind. He nestled his ear right above his heart, listening to the regular drum as a reminder that Hanzo was right here, that’d he be here when he woke up with his voice all cute and husky like every morning. Jesse thought it was amazing that he could fall asleep like this, today and for every single tomorrow that Hanzo would allow. That he fit so perfectly in his whole world’s arms, off-guard and safe. That in a life of sharp edges he had found something just a bit softer.