Work Text:
Some days were harder than others. Sometimes he felt like everything would start to fall apart if he even dared to close his eyes for a moment. He feared being in a dream, a beautiful, fifteen year old dream of music and magic where everything he ever wanted became true. It was scary… To think that it could all disappear with a blink of an eye, his biggest efforts being washed away within the endless night.
Those thoughts kept him awake quite often.
There were also times when he didn’t even realize he was living his dream, in the first place, for it was hard to see that they weren’t in their early twenties anymore playing for 20 people in a stage small enough to fit their biggest wishes. It was hard because a part of him felt like he was still that young boy, and he wouldn’t dare telling the others, but sometimes… Only sometimes he wished he could go back to those days. He loved his life, of course, but there was some sort of fancy in being young and dreamy, being reckless sometimes…
…And being close to someone.
“Guys, we managed to get two rooms!” their leader said, enthusiastically. After sleeping in the van for a month he didn’t even believe that they finally got a bed to sleep. It was such a rare luxury for them. “Problem is, one of the rooms there’s only one single bed, and the other has three. How are we going to do this?”
“Kou-chan and I can sleep together, we’re used to it by now” Reita stated. He and Uruha shared a one person apartment and the distance of each other’s futon was so small they practically ended up snuggling every night. Actually, it was quite funny to see them arguing about it all the time.
“Yeah, not gonna happen, dude.” Uruha chuckled at Reita’s small ‘ouch’. “I rather sleep with Ruki.” The young guitarist placed an arm around his waist, pulling him closer. He felt himself blush; fixing his gaze on the floor as if it was the most precious thing in the world.
“It’s settled then!”
It was settled indeed, and God, was he nervous about it.
Sleeping so close to that handsome man and trying to keep it cool was definitely something he would never get used to.
The room was quite small, having nothing but a bed and small bathroom, but he couldn’t care less. It was a bed, a goddamn bed and he missed it so much. He quickly jumped on it, splaying his arms around the soft mattress. It was so good.
Uruha chuckled as he approached the bed. “You’re purring, Ruki-kun.”
“I don’t purr!”
“Oh, but you are.” Uruha said with a gentle voice. “And it’s adorable.”
“Well, I miss sleeping in a bed.” He mumbled.
Uruha smiled and lay next to him, gently pushing Ruki aside to give him some space. Ruki felt the warmth coming from the guitarist’s body and felt his own body burn in response. God, it was such a good feeling to be around him like that.
“Kouyou..?”
“Yes?”
Ruki turned around, facing the other man. The guitarist’s eyes were closed and his face held a warm expression of calm and comfort and Ruki couldn’t help but notice the ever so slight shade of pink gently coloring his skin. He felt safe there, next to him. As if every nightmare he’s ever had was just a fading memory, replaced by memories of fondness and –
And... love?
It felt right.
“Don’t ever go away…” Was all he managed to say through a murmur as he snuggled close to the guitarist, burying his face on Uruha’s shoulder.
Uruha wrapped his arms around him, pulling him even closer.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered into Ruki’s ear. “Now, sleep… We have a long day tomorrow.”
He exhaled deeply, staring at the nothingness of his large hotel room. Once again, he couldn’t sleep, chased by the memories of over a decade ago. Simpler times, they were. Honest times.
He wished he could go back in time just so he could enjoy those days, live them to the fullest. But more than anything he wished he could go back and tell him… Tell Uruha…
God, how stupid he was.
He quickly jumped from the bed and grabbed his keycard, leaving the large, hollow room behind.
It was a short walk through the corridor to find the room he was looking for, but as he stopped by the door and stared at the number – 701b – he thought maybe that wasn’t such a good idea after all. It was late; he was probably asleep and wouldn’t want to see the vocalist in the middle of the night. Besides, what would he say anyway?
Oh, fuck it.
He wanted to see him; he needed to see him urgently, so before regret took in, he knocked on the door.
After what seemed like eons passing he finally saw a sleepy guitarist peeking his head out of the room. Ruki’s heart skipped a beat as the other man laid eyes on him, confusion now joining the sleep in his face.
“T-Taka..?” He yawned. “Are we leaving already?”
“No, umm… It’s still early. Or late. Depending on your point of view.”
Uruha gave him a confused look. “Okay… So why are you here?”
Yes, why was he?
“I can’t sleep.” Fucking genius.
“Oh, umm… Well, come in then.” He opened the door to let the vocalist pass, walking back to the bed right after.
“Why can’t you sleep?” Uruha asked, slight worry in his voice.
He timidly sat on the edge of the large bed. “Well you know I have troubles to fall asleep.”
“Yeah…”
They stared at each other, an awkward silence filling the room. Suddenly, it all seemed like a bad idea. A fucking terrible idea, and he wished he could find a place to bury himself and never come back. He abruptly stood up.
“God, Kouyou, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come here.” He started walking toward the door. “I’m sorry.”
“No, Taka, wait!” Uruha promptly jumped from the bed to meet the vocalist. “Stay…” He said; his unsure voice barely a whisper. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Nothing’s wrong. I… I just…”
He looked up to meet Uruha’s brown eyes. He was so beautiful… Even tired and sleepy, like that. Giving up on his rational side, he simply let his feelings take over, closing the distance between them and resting his head on Uruha’s chest.
“I just miss you…”
“Taka…” Uruha gently ran his fingers through the vocalist’s hair, slowly taking him into his arms. They stood there, holding each other so close they could nearly feel the way their hearts beat in sync, like the perfect rhythm of the crashing waves in the sea; or rather…Like music.
A music that only they could hear and only they could play. A perfect bittersweet melody made just for them. They moved to the sound of their silent composition, sealing their lips together in a slow, almost sacred way. Uruha tasted exactly like the first time he felt those lips; sweet, tender, and safe.
The guitarist was the first to break the kiss, but their song kept being made and played by them as their eyes met once again, this time with so much affection, so many untold feelings that no word could describe.
Uruha placed a warm kiss on his forehead before fondly smiling at him. “I miss you too.” The guitarist took his hand, leading them to bed. They lay in the center, still holding each other, simply enjoying the other’s company.
“Do you think you can sleep now?”
“I always fall asleep easily when I’m with you…”
“I’m glad…” The guitarist helplessly tried to fight a yawn, earning a light chuckle from the vocalist.
“I guess we should sleep now.”
“Hmm..”
“Goodnight, Kouyou.”
“Hmm, ‘night…”
“Kouyou?”
“Hm?”
He couldn’t go back to the past, where the days were simpler and more honest. He couldn’t go back to the struggle of sleeping in small vans or single beds, neither could he bring his younger, rebel self back.
But there was something… That one thing his young self would always regret not saying…
“I love you.”
… And regret not being able to see just how complete he felt when, with a very confident, but sleepy, voice, Uruha whispered “I love you too”, adding the perfect ending to that song that was meant just for the two of them.