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Picture this: you're 22, just out of university, the word is yours to take.
You have everything you ever wished for: independence.
So what is this need you have of getting married?
Why is it so important to you?
Is it because the man by your side is the one who made you actually feel like you knew love all along?
Or is it purely because in this moment, when he looks at you, you feel like you're not sure of what are the amazing opportunities that are waiting for you, but you are certain that you want to experience them with him?
Probably both.
You are having dinner in a fancy restaurant, each is paying for themselves, because this is a rule established long ago.
It's your four years anniversary, and if you think about all you have been through you kind of have the urge to stand up and tell "what the actual fuck!".
He asks you if everything is alright; no wonder, you have been staring at him in silence for a good two minutes.
'Yes,' you reply ' I'm absolutely fucking splendid. I love you.'
He laughs and oh God, your heart is about to explode in the same way it has been doing for four years. His laugh makes you happy, so you grin.
You used to think of yourself as unknowable, but he knows you, every inch of you, inside and out. And when you are with him you cannot help but wear your heart on your sleeve.
You keep eating, the food is amazing, the night is amazing.
You feel eternal.
Once the meal is finished he drives you both back to the flat.
This is home for the both of you: close enough to the town like you wanted, but in the middle of a green field like he had hoped for.
It is not the Barns, a place so deeply rooted into him and, now, to you. It's still something, though: a middle ground between both of your plans. Plus, the Barns is always there, waiting for you to come back, ready to welcome you as if you never left.
You decide that there is where you are going to propose, and if he says yes, where you are going to get married.
For now, though, you stop planning the future. Instead, you focus on him: he's looking at you like you are the single most beautiful person he has ever seen, ready to express his love with his mouth and body.
God, you are so lucky.
*
The weeks have passed, and you are fully enjoying the free time after graduation.
Surely, you have been working and applying for internships and jobs, but you make sure to visit the Barns every weekend.
The thought of getting married still hasn't left your mind, but you are not too sure whether it's the right thing to do.
You have been stressing about it quite a lot, to be honest, so you know you need to talk about it with somebody before imploding on your over thinking.
So you make sure to visit Blue and 300 Fox Way when you are in Henrietta, because these women have become the extended family you always wished you had.
You knock on the door and from inside you can hear the house moving, and you can't help but smile.
Blue opens the door and hugs you immediately.
She asks you how you have been, and you start making small talk about how exciting is that you have both graduated from university at your own terms.
She talks about Gansey and how their relationship is going, but she can sense you are here for something, just like Orla and Calla and Maura and all those who have appeared in the kitchen.
It's Maura who speaks first, asking you what has been bothering your thoughts, and after a moment of hesitation you blurt it out: you intend on marrying Ronan Lynch.
An open grin spreads on all the psychics' faces, whereas Blue's mouth forms a perfectly shaped 'O'.
You tell yourself that you should have expected it, it was actually impossible to think of getting married so young, it would have been a mistake. You can see it in Blue's expression.
You start to voice your thoughts out loud, but before you finish the sentence, Blue interrupts you.
"Wait: I'm surprised, but happily so. I mean, you and Ronan have been practically married all of this time, so make it official would only bring you benefits." She smiles proudly, "What I'm trying to say is: Adam Parrish, you have our blessings."
You both start laughing and she concludes:
" I want to be there when you tell Gansey, maybe I will use his face as a reaction gif."
Your heart fills with joy, and you stay a bit with them.
You make sure to go home for dinner.
*
You decide to tell Gansey about your plan when you invite him to go ring shopping.
Of course, he still doesn't know what the shopping is for.
You tell him when you get into town, and you can feel how conflicted he is.
Many years ago he had warned you not to break Ronan, and though you proved to cautious and loving, you know that deep down Gansey still fears the worst. At the same time, however, he still is your best friend, your /brother/ and he is truly happy that you found someone to spend forever with.
So, after a long pause that seemed to last years, he finally gives in and hugs you tight.
You proceed with the ring shopping.
After a couple of hours you find it: it's not much; simple, but it caught your attention from the first moment you saw it.
You and Gansey part ways, but before, he wishes you good luck.
You decide you are going to propose next weekend, when summer will begin and you will have prepared yourself for the possibility of rejection.
*
Today is the day, you tell yourself.
Your stomach has been killing you since you have woken up, but you are sure you want to do it.
You will propose over lunch.
You are getting ready, and you are not quite sure whether you are supposed to dress nicely or as you normally would.
You try to go for something in between.
The hours leading to the moment seems eternal, and you’re pretty sure he is about to call 911 on you, because you have been acting extremely weird the whole morning. At this point you are aware of the fact that the effort you are putting into behaving normally is only making things worse.
The Barns is looking beautiful as always and the weather has been great the whole morning, so you convince him to have lunch outside.
You are not hungry at all, but you are eager to get over the meal so that you can finally free yourself from this horrible weight, so you force him to sit at the table at 12 o’clock.
He tells you that it feels a bit dramatic to eat this early, but you couldn’t care less, so you just tell him that it felt like a brunch type of day.
You start to feel the nervousness rising as each minute passes by, but you try to eat and make small talks.
He suddenly looks at you and asks you if everything is alright, because you seem to be most uncomfortable he has seen you in years.
At this point the stress becomes unbearable, so without even replying you drop to one knee.
“Did something fall? Oh my God, are you going to pass out?”
You laugh, and then you finally look him in the eyes.
You are about to start talking, and then you remember you haven’t even taken the ring out.
So you do it, take it from the pocket and open the black box.
He looks back and forth between you and the box: he looks supremely shocked.
“What the fuck, Parrish. What is going on.”
“Lynch, I love you with every cell of my being. When in seven years all my cells are going to be replaced, the new ones are going to love you even more. You have been there for me each step of the way, and though sometimes you can be a complete jackass, I don’t care. I don’t care about our bad days, because our good days are the best I can even imagine. I understand we are young, but I can’t imagine loving somebody as much as I love you, can't imagine somebody else feeling as much as home as you do.”
You notice you have started crying, and he is tearing up as well.
You go on.
“Life with us has never been easy, but we have managed to make it work every single damn time. You are my soulmate, and after all you have given me, this ring is the least I can give you. With it, however, comes a very important question.
Ronan Lynch, would you please make me even happier than you usually do and give me the pleasure to become my husband?”
He looks at you, with tears rolling down his check, and for a split second you are sure you fucked up. That is, until he joins you on the grass and takes the ring from the box, placing it around his finger.
“Yes, Adam. Oh my God, you are so extra. I love you. Yes, I will marry you.”
You hug and your body relaxes in his arms.
Life is good.