Chapter Text
It's hard for Peter to not be this way.
He's tried his hardest to shut that part of his mind down.
Things are different now. They've a new addition to the team and everyone's still trying to adjust to life as they know it.
Some nights Gamora can here Peter restlessly fidgeting in his bunk.
Those are the nights when she usually slips in beside him, puts her arms around him, and softly shushes him until he falls quiet and returns to his sleeping position.
Groot hardly sits at the foot of Peter's bed anymore. Mainly because his barrier-vines makes it harder for her to check up on Peter, or for Peter to crawl out of bed and pace around the ship anxiously when sleep isn't showing mercy on him.
He's yet to slip in to the headspace he tried so hard to avoid since everything went down.
He paces the communal area of the ship, twice around the table before he wanders toward the cockpit. It's much larger than the Milano (which he misses...they'll have to go back for it soon. He wants his stuff, he wants his first mixtape and his clothes and his Blasters...). When it's apparent that there's nothing for him to occupy himself with, he sighs and walks back toward the 'kitchen'.
Mantis is there when he gets there.
He never heard her get up. He must've been distracted.
"Peter Quill," she says, looking at him in confusion. "You are awake again?"
"Yeah, I...can't sleep," Peter says, frowning. He's tired, but no matter how many times he'd tried to sleep, he couldn't bring himself to it. "I haven't really slept much since...Y'know."
"You have troubles."
"We all do, I mean...we only came together because we were troublesome."
She reaches a hand up. It hovers above Peter's head.
"Do you mind, Peter Quill?"
"I...I don't," he's too tired to care.
Her hand pressed against his forehead and she takes in his feelings, blinking her large eyes in confusion.
"You feel like…a lost child. You are sad and alone," she frowns at him, removing her hand from his forehead.
Alone. That's the feeling.
Peter feel's alone, and he can't make sense of it. How could anyone possibly be alone when they were surrounded by 5 other people?
"Drax told me about you," she speaks quietly, and Peter takes note that she doesn't use her usual 'unknowing-yet-enthusiastic' tone.
"I hope he said only good things," Peter jokes, a small smile appearing at the corners of his lips.
"So you...you are their child?" Mantis questions. The small sliver of a smile fades from Peter's face.
"No, it's...it's more complicated than that. It's just..."
"You want to be cared for and protected like one."
"In a way..." Peter sighs. "As a young kid, my childhood was okay. But then I got a little bit older and, well...it wasn't so okay. The life I know changed forever and I didn't have the greatest up-bringing and...I guess what I wanted was just a chance to...have a childhood backed by support and love of a family. They're not blood family, but they're still family."
"I think I understand." She nods. "And...I can be part of your family?"
"Well, if you want to…" Peter shrugs. "If you can handle us, this broken little family we have."
She gives him a smile, genuine and soft. "I can handle it. You know...I have never had a family before! Or...a 'childhood' either. Maybe this will be a good thing, to join your family?"
Peter's answer was cut short by a yawn.
"Maybe you should sleep?" Mantis asks, ushering Peter back toward his bed.
"But I can't," he whispers as she nudges him to lay down. He climbs in to his bunk.
In the corner of the room, Groot perks up. He watches the two, still being sure to keep an eye out on Peter.
"Shh," Mantis shushes, putting a hand on Peter's forehead. The tips of her antennae glow as she activates her empathetic abilities. "You are tired. Sleep."
Immediately, Peter's head falls back and he falls in to deep sleep.
"Thank you," Gamora says, startling Mantis. "Lately I could not get him to sleep so easily. He wakes up a lot during the night and is restless."
"He told me about your...family."
"Did he explain everything?"
"No," Mantis shakes her head. "But I think I do understand it. Peter Quill needs all of the familial love he can get, after losing his real family, all he has is you..."
Gamora nods, "And we will take care of him as much as we need to…he needs us a lot. Especially right now."
Peter wakes up to something cold and wet tapping at his face. His eyes snap open and he's face to face with Rocket, who's standing on all fours in front of him, nose pressed against Peter's own.
"Hey, kid." Rocket greets, sitting up.
"Hi, Rocky," Peter says quietly, blinking his big green eyes a few times to get himself adjusted to having just woken up.
"You doin' alright, Petey?"
Peter nods, reaching a hand out to pet Rocket. His ears fold back as Peter's hand strokes at his head. Normally, Rocket would snap or bite at being touched like someone's cute little animal...but Peter was in his headspace, and when Peter was in his headspace, Rocket was anything but an asshole to him.
"I was just checking up on you. Also you should probably eat something, if I recall correct you you skipped out on eating your dinner lastnight, kid."
Peter thinks about it. He is pretty hungry. He sits himself up and motions for Groot, who has once again planted himself in the corner. The flora colossus trudges over in a few steps and lifts Peter in to his arms with ease.
Peter's grateful for Groot. And Drax. Both of them are very strong and can carry Peter with ease. (Groot more than Drax.)
With an odd bit of struggling and upper body strength, Peter climbs around Groot until he's riding piggy-back on the plant's back. Groot's hands go underneath him to hold him up.
Peter smiles, which is an attitude change from the way he's been acting trying to keep himself together as Grown Up Peter. It calms Rocket a bit, knowing that Peter seems to be alright.
"Gammy!" Peter calls happily as Groot steps in to the ship's kitchenette. She's sitting at the table, sorting through a stack of important-looking papers. She looks up and gives him a sweet smile, gathering all the papers and setting them aside.
"Come here, my love," she says, opening her arms as Groot sets Peter in the seat beside her. Peter slides over and in to her open arms, never passing up the opportunity for a good cuddle.
Mantis, who was sitting on Peter's other side, reaches her hand out and touches Peter's arm. Immediately, she's filled with a light, bubbly feeling and she lets out a few giggles. She retracts her hand with a confused expression. Last night when she put him to sleep, she felt heartache and misery. And all of that seemed to disappear, as if he was a different person. But the others act normal, as if they are content about it, so she doesn't voice her concerns.
"What are you doing Gamora?" Rocket asks, hopping down from where he had climbed on to Groot's shoulder to grab a box of some kind of cereal from one of the higher cabinets in the room. He lands on the table and sets the box down in front of Peter.
"I bought a house." She says, one hand moving to flick at the papers on the table.
"Don't want that," Peter pouts, pushing the box away.
"I don't care, just eat it," Rocket says, nudging the box toward Peter.
"I am Groot," Groot intervenes before it turns in to an argument, handing Peter a fruit, which he gladly takes.
"Don't give the kid what he wants, you're gonna spoil him!" Rocket crosses his arms.
"I say we let Peter have whatever he wants," Drax announces as he comes in to the room.
"I like Draxie's idea!" Peter nods vigorously as Gamora shakes her head.
"You cannot have whatever you want, Peter. He cannot have whatever he wants, Drax. It would be chaos," she says, but puts an arm around Peter. "We don't need our home full of an excessive amount of pets and unnecessary items."
"You just bought a house, talk about unnecessary things!" Rocket puts his small hands up in exclamation. "What do we need a house for!?"
They're arguing, but it's not harsh or mean. It's more like friendly banter. Familial.
Pouting yet again, Peter takes the box and a bowl that Groot has offered to him, and goes about pouring himself a bowl (with Gamora's help.)
"I bought a house because I think it would be good for us to have somewhere escape to for a while. We're so not ready to take on more jobs, we're good with what we have. Nova Prime has already sent for a small fleet of officers to find the Milano and have it brought to us so we can work on repairing it while we take a break. Although this ship is spacious enough for all of us, I would like to think Peter wants his ship back. The house is nice enough. It's on one of the moons orbiting Xandar. So we're close to the Nova HQ. There's also a lake, and it's far enough away from any other people so we won't be bothered unless it's important."
"So...we're becoming domestic?" Rocket asks. "Because I can't see that happening."
Later that night, Gamora clambers in to bed with Peter. She doesn't feel tired, so she doesn't sleep, but she knows Peter's mind is plagued with thoughts and visions that he can't control when he sleeps. It's the most she can do for him at the time. Just lay beside him, keep him company while he sleeps, and hope that somewhere in his brain he remembers that she's right there, right beside him.
He's laying on his side, facing her. His face is expressionless, which is a relief from the constant crinkles and frowns she's seen in the last few days.
Suddenly, Peter's green eyes snap open wide and his body gives a small jolt. He stares at her for a minuet. From the way he looks, scared and a bit skeptical, she can tell he's had a nightmare. One of his hands grips tightly to the bedsheet while the other rests on his torso just above his belly, as if he's clutching a wound. He looks like he wants to scream, but is containing it.
"It was just a dream, my love," she says, reaching out to stroke a hand down the side of his face. The hand on his abdomen reaches up to push hers away and he hums out a breath, furrowing his brow.
"I'm just Peter right now," he says, letting go of the bed sheet. "Regular me, and not, uh...Petey."
So he doesn't seek comfort through being held and coddled close. She nods and scoots over to give him some space.
"What did you dream about?"
"I don't know," Peter lies, rolling over on to his back. She guesses by his reaction when he woke up that he dreamed he'd been injured.
"If you don't want to talk about it, I understand," Gamora watches him as he scrunched his face up, deep in thought. "But please do stay in bed and try to return to sleep."
"He crushed my Walkman, and tried to harness my energy," Peter said, refusing to look at her. "It hurt like I was being stabbed, it kind of burned, actually, but I couldn't do anything about it. When he finally dropped me there was nothing wrong with me, but I could still feel the pain. I can still feel it sometimes now. Not the actual pain, but the memory of it...it's not the best feeling in the world. It's not dreams, Gamora, it's memories. When I'm not away to push it out of my mind, it floods in and I can't do anything about it. I can't stop it or think of something else. I can't..."
Gamora takes one of his large hands in her own and listens as he rambles on. He'd dreamed about Ego, the horrible man, and she knew that's what most of his recent dreams had been about.
Peter falls silent, squeezing her hand gently and closing his eyes. She thinks maybe he's tired himself out and is going back to sleep, but he speaks again.
"I miss him, Gamora...I don't know what to do…"
She doesn't have to think hard to know what Peter means.
"Yondu wasn't the best dad but he was better than Ego was." His green eyes fill with tears and Gamora can only squeeze his hand as he breaks down in to full on sobs. She doesn't hug him or hold him. The last thing she would do is make him feel constricted when he's freaking out.
A shadow appears beside the bed. The soft glow of antennae tell Gamora that it's Mantis. Tentatively, she reaches her hand out, waiting for Gamora's nod of approval before resting her hand on Peter's forhead.
Peter falls silent and his breathing evens. Mantis lingers for a moment longer; when she finally pulls away, tears fall from her own eyes.
Hastily, she wipes them away, accepting Gamora's "thank you" with a nod.
//
When morning comes around, Peter's little again.
When he wakes, he gives Gamora a good morning nuzzle before he slips out of bed, probably to go bother Rocket.
The rodent is sleeping in the pilot's chair, tail hanging limply off the edge of the seat.
"Rockyyy," Peter coos, kneeling beside the chair and batting at the striped appendage. Rocket's ears flick in annoyance.
"Go away, kid, 'm sleeping."
"But I'm awake!" Peter says, giving Rocket's tail a sharp tug.
"Ow, flark! That hurt, Petey!" Rocket sit's up, giving a soft glare at Quill. "What did I tell you about pulling the tail?"
Peter shrugs," It didn't hurt me."
"Cause you ain't the one gettin' your tail yanked by a kid who's up too early by any standards," Rocket grumbles, smoothing out the fur on the side of his face. He yawns, stretching as he does so and stands to his two little feet on the chair. He affectionately taps Peter's cheek with the tip of his tail. "Now I'm up, what do you want, brat?"
"Play!" Peter says, getting up. Rocket hitches a ride on Peter's shoulder, weighing him down a bit, but Peter keeps his balance as he jogs back toward the captain's quarters.
Gamora has since gotten up, making the bed and heading to the kitchenette to get started on breakfast for whoever would wake soon.
"All yerr stuffs on the Milano, Petey," Rocket says, hopping off Peter's shoulder and landing on the bed, nearly throwing the Terran over.
"Nope!" Peter reaches down under the bed and pulls back a box. It's labeled "Quill's" and It's got stuff in there, stuff from Peter's childhood, Rocket assumes. "I found this the other day." Yondu must've kept it around.
It's got a few action figures of sorts, a book that Peter held on to even though he can't read (he's forgotten how to read English for the most part, he was only 8 when he left earth), and a few other things. Peter takes an action figure and gives it to Rocket.
"How old are ya, kid?" Rocket says, bending the arms of the figure clad in red white and blue.
"Hmmm," Peter thought for a moment. "Maybe, this many," he holds up five fingers. "I think, that is good." He gathers up his own action figure.
"So what's the plan?"
"Optimus Prime and Captain America battle the Kraken," Peter grins, holding up a plush creature with tentacles.
Rocket's attention diverts to the doorway, where Mantis is standing. Peter turns around to look at her.
"Can...can I play too?" She asks nervously tapping her fingers together.
Peter grins and digs another action figure out of the box, a man with blonde hair clad in pink and white. "You can be He-Man!"
Her smile is as wide as Peter's as she comes forward to sit on the floor with Peter and Rocket, taking the figure from Peter and listening intently to the boy's plans.
The happiness that she felt was her own, for once in her life.