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Geno had always understood that the friendship he had with Sidney was one born from chemistry on the ice and a kind of innate trust that wasn’t something that could be cultivated. It very simply just was. It was strange and somewhat of an honor considering Sidney’s idiosyncrasies, but he’d gotten used to it. He held it close and loved his captain for how Sidney had allowed Geno to inform some part of his life, with and without hockey.
Geno didn’t, however, understand how any of that could actually precipitate Sidney’s knock on his door and the quick whoosh of breath when he said, “I need a bed. Quick,” and clutched at Geno’s arm, pushing him towards his own bedroom. “I just, it’s gonna happen. Fuck.” And then Geno stopped right in the doorway because Sidney was undressing and putting himself on Geno’s bed and, “Just close the door. I don’t want you to see this.”
And that was pretty much all Geno needed to hear before he shut the door and waited. For what, he had no idea, because this was strange, even by Crosby standards. Sidney’s whimpering changed, though, into something that sounded like a wail and that scared Geno enough to force him back into the room. He couldn’t exactly be sure how he was supposed to find Sidney -- naked, sure, maybe in some kind of heat -- but the last thing he thought he’d find was a baby. A screaming, red-faced, angry little baby with Sidney eyes and a Sidney mouth and what?
Geno froze, all of his instincts when it came to babies and children pretty much flying out the window into what had suddenly become a very surreal Pittsburgh spring. He tried to tell himself that he was good with babies. It didn’t matter that this baby just moments ago was a grown-up Sidney. He should just do what he knew babies needed, so he moved towards his bed and carefully picked the squealing Sidney up and drew him close against his chest. He rocked Sidney and shushed him in hushed tones right until the little twerp peed down the front of his shirt.
“Shit,” Geno mumbled as Sidney squirmed to get away from the wet spot. “I would not want to be in it either.” He muttered as he carried Sidney into the master bath and grabbed a towel from the rack. He brought it back into the bedroom and made a very valiant attempt to swaddle Sidney in it just so he didn’t mess on the bed while Geno changed out of the wet shirt. He tossed it into the trash and half wished he’d been wearing his yellow Crosby shirt. That might be a story he’d laugh about later when all of this was back to normal.
He cleaned himself up quickly and pulled on another shirt, to find that baby Sidney had wiggled himself free of the towel and was crying again. “Well if you don’t stay still and covered, you will be cold,” Geno scolded in a voice he’d only use on Sidney-who-just-turned-into-a-baby. Or Sidney in general. He had to find some clothes and something he could use as a diaper until he could figure out how to actually deal with the rest of it.
It was while he dug through his drawers and while Sidney wailed that he realized he definitely could not do this by himself. While he did his best to get Sidney diapered with an old thermal and covered again, he realized he absolutely could not consult Flower, who had been the first and most obvious choice, since Marc would more than likely blame him for this happening at all and murder him in his sleep.
As if Geno wanted Sidney to turn into a baby in his bedroom.
He thought about calling Mario but that elicited a similar kind of terror as calling Flower. It only made sense for Geno to call the person he actually trusted the most. In Pittsburgh, at least. Of course, trying to explain Sidney turning into a baby to James was like trying to explain the magic of snow to Beau.
“Wait, wait, G. I think your English is slipping because it really sounds like you’re trying to tell me Sid turned into a baby. I mean we know that sometimes -”
“No,” Geno cut him off quick and a little curt. “He is an infant and he pee on my favorite Steelers shirt.”
“Jesus Christ, are you kidding me? Why did he do it at your house? Did you tell him about us? Because you know how he gets when he thinks something’s gonna mess with the team.”
“No, I didn’t tell him!” Geno exclaimed and put his eyes on Sidney as he tried to squirm his way out of all of the clothing Geno put on him. He held the phone away from his ear and muttered, “You get out of that, I get duct tape,” to Sidney. And baby Sidney, well, he just looked at Geno with defiance in his little eyes and squirmed some more. Geno sighed and gave his attention back to James. “He need diapers. And clothes. Not sure how old he is. Six months, maybe. Not have teeth.” And that struck another terrible chord inside of Geno. “What do we feed him! He just a baby. Do we just get formula? What do we even tell doctor?”
“Alright, alright, relax,” James gasped out. “I got this. Just. Keep him calm, warm, and dry and I’ll get there as soon as I can. Maybe call Goose. He should be able to help.”
Geno moved the phone away from his ear and stared at it for a second as if James was nuts. Then he pulled it back to his ear and asked, “Why he help?”
“You know if this is going to work, you have to learn to just trust me.” James huffed and Geno would have smiled if Sidney didn’t start screeching again.
“Fine, fine. I call. You hurry.”
It was a ridiculous sight, really, to see baby Sidney punching at the air and wailing at the top of his lungs. Geno felt more than helpless, even as he picked Sidney up and rocked him again. He was banking on James doing as he promised and hurrying, but in this city, who really knew just how quick that would be.
Geno knew Sidney had excess lung capacity. He was always one of the guys who didn’t get as winded as quickly, but he had no idea he’d be able to carry on the way he was as a baby. Part of him wanted to call Sidney’s mother and bless her a million times over. With all of the crying Sidney was doing, Geno didn’t call anyone else, though. He paced his bedroom until he heard doors slamming downstairs and James’ voice calling him.
Geno carried the shoddily dressed, crying baby down the stairs, still rocking him and feeling a little frazzled. He’d never had this much of a problem with a baby. Babies were just naturally comfortable with him. They were always interested in his enormous nose or the funny noises he could make, but Sidney was nonplussed by those things and had to cry instead. Not to mention, Geno was slightly unnerved at the idea of blowing raspberries on Sidney Crosby’s tummy, baby or not.
“Here,” James said almost immediately, his entire face changing into something softer when he saw Sidney squealing. “You get the stuff. Gimme the kid.”
And James, well, he had no problem putting his face into Sidney’s baby neck to tickle, and that got some kind of positive reaction because the crying stopped. James settled Sidney against his chest and gestured behind him. “The rest of the stuff is in my car. He’s probably hungry so we get him a diaper and some clothes first and then feed him. That should settle him for a bit.”
“Seemed settled now,” Geno grumbled, pulling on his shoes so he could empty James’ car of whatever else was bought.
It seemed to take little effort on James’ part to get Sidney into a diaper and into a one-piece pajama that was decorated with little polar bears. He gave Sidney back to Geno while he went about mixing formula and cluing him in about what the baby would eat.
“How you know this?” Geno asked, taking note that the bottles were made of glass and James had also purchased oatmeal and various fruit that they’d have to either cook or throw in the food processor for Sidney to eat.
“I asked his mom,” James said in a voice that simply said, ‘duh, G’, which was just as infuriating as Geno’s inability to get Sidney calm in the first place.
“What do you mean you ask his mom? She know this happen?” Geno’s voice rose to a pitch he didn’t think it reached since he was twelve.
“Well, it isn’t the first time. No one told you?” There was a moment where they faced each other and James looked sympathetic. Or maybe guilty.
Geno scowled simply for how he wanted to focus on how adorably disheveled James was. With his persistent bedhead and mischievous eyes, James just always looked warm and it was constantly melting any and all of Geno’s notions of taking things slow. Then James was lifting Sidney out of Geno’s arms so he could feed him. Geno wanted to consider how absolutely adept James was at the whole thing, which opened a whole other can of worms he wasn’t remotely ready for.
“It’s happened before and everyone freaked out, but Trina explained everything to Mario who explained it to Marc who kind of gave us the 411 when it happened last year.” James settled right into the couch, baby and bottle where they should be. Sidney drank the bottle and then burped into James’ shoulder and every surreal bit of this was augmented the more Geno heard.
“It happen last year?” Geno asked, trying to focus his brain as to when exactly this could have happened last year. “When I in Russia?”
“No, you were here,” James shook his head while wiping dribbled formula from Sidney’s chin with his own sleeve. “I forgot bibs,” he muttered in the midst of his explanation. “It was before you left. Before you signed your extension. You know how he gets when he’s worried about the team or any of us. He was real nervous about you signing and you brought your parents in for it so that just made it all worse. The kid showed up and we made do. He was older last time, though, so I’m not sure why he’s an infant this time.”
“You know this make no sense, right?” Geno asked, just to have it out there. Of course it made no sense. It made even less sense that once the bottle was finished and Sidney was burped, the baby would fall asleep against James’ chest, right up against his heart.
Geno actually hrmped and felt mildly indignant at that. One, because that was his spot and two, why was Sidney so opposed to getting comfortable with him? They were friends, had great chemistry on the ice, and Sidney felt safe enough to come to him when this transformation was about to happen. Baby Sidney just wanted to urinate on him.
“What about Sidney actually does make sense, G?” James asked and shrugged, pretty much telling Geno that an answer wasn’t expected so it was all rhetorical anyway. That was annoying, too.
“So what we do? Just keep him until big Sidney come back? What about hockey?” That elicited another slice of panic. James, though, he just settled into sofa, his hand passing over Sidney’s back. He looked so calm, like he was at peace, and Geno couldn’t understand how any of this could garner that kind of response.
“We have a few days. Dan’s clued in so practice is no big deal. If we don’t get him back before we play, then we’ll worry. It doesn’t usually mess with his game.”
“Of course,” Geno practically snorted and then finally moved to sit beside James. He watched the baby and couldn’t help but notice how his features were relaxed and easy. Some part of that hurt Geno’s heart a little. He didn’t think that was at all the norm for big Sidney. “How you not freak out about this?”
James’ fingers moved to play with the thin wisps of Sidney’s hair. “I did last year when he was a preschooler and I guess if he did it in front of me, it might be worse, but,” he sort of shrugged. “They pick up on everything. If you’re freaking out, then they’re going to know and they react. Especially Sid.”
Of course it made sense, and really, it shouldn’t surprise Geno that James knew it. He found himself smiling, finally, and James smiled back.
*
Geno really didn’t want his life to turn into a very unfunny episode of My Two Dads. He really thought he’d only have a baby in the house when he was actually ready to have a baby in the house. Having one who was actually Sidney and having one with James was especially out of left field and there were moments where, despite armfuls of baby, he found himself moving into James’ space and asking the other man to pinch him.
“It’s really happening, G. You’ve got to embrace it.” Which was usually followed up by a kiss to the corner of his mouth and then the big baby handoff. “Take over for a bit. I need a shower. I stink.”
Geno settled Sidney against his chest and palmed his hand against the back of the baby’s head. He watched James head for the stairs and then called, “Wash hair. Smell like baby vomit.”
“Ugh,” James mumbled and his steps became a stomp. “I had to wash it yesterday. We’re going to get him good for this when he turns back.”
Geno grinned down at little Sidney, slightly placated until the crying started again.
*
Sidney slept through until morning that first night, but Geno couldn’t sleep having a baby just across the hall. Every time he’d start to nod off, he’d jar awake and listen for baby breathing in the monitor. James sawed wood beside him, irritating Geno to the point where he poked at his boyfriend just to have some company in his sleeplessness. It was completely selfish, but he was legitimately nervous having Sidney’s life so completely in his hands.
“Seriously, G, go to sleep,” James mumbled. “If you don’t, I’m going home and leaving you and the kid all to yourselves.”
“You would not do,” Geno huffed, twisting onto his back and folding his arms indignantly against his chest. He really needed to figure out when he turned into a petulant child.
“Try me. He’s going to be up with the sun so sleep when he sleeps. That’s what they tell every new parent.”
“Not parent,” Geno corrected. “Babysitter.”
“Whatever. Just sleep. I promise he’s fine.” James turned himself and dropped his arm across Geno’s belly. It felt good enough to allow Geno to relax, but he still didn’t sleep. He listened to James’ breathing even out again and he swallowed any further desire for his company and let him sleep.
Geno found himself rewarded for his magnanimity when he finally did fall asleep just before the sunrise and James left him in bed to take care of Sidney once he woke up. James must have turned off the monitor because it was blissfully quiet, and Geno didn’t get himself up until the morning was almost through. He went about his usual morning routine but dressed in worn sweats and a hoodie before heading downstairs. He could smell coffee, which was a godsend, but was quickly distracted by the sound of James’ voice shifting from low to high on alternating ‘peekaboos’.
Geno followed the sound into the living room but found nothing until he was well inside the room. Both Sidney and James were on their tummies. James had a receiving blanket over his head and covering his face. He lifted it with every peekaboo, which got a cooing reaction out of Sidney.
“Morning,” Geno offered slowly.
James shifted his smile from Sidney to Geno, “Hey, G. C’mere and look at this. He’s pushing up already. Like he wants to crawl. I should ask Trina when he started that.”
The entire thing made Geno feel like he stepped into the Twilight Zone but that feeling was compounded when James said things like that. Geno followed directions, though, and settled himself on his tummy next to James. “What you doing exactly?”
James held his smile as he continued to play with Sidney. “It’s tummy time. All babies need tummy time and it’s good for bonding.”
“I know about bonding,” Geno huffed. “Not stupid. Just don’t really,” and he had to stop, because Sidney was beaming. It was familiar and made Geno want their Sidney back. “Don’t understand why this happen. Why he come here. Why no one tell me. Why he not like me.”
James pulled the receiving blanket from his head. They looked at each other and Geno could feel the depth of emotion James had for him in that short distance. It was like that sometimes, even when they infuriated each other. They didn’t need contact or even words. “Jesus, G. Of course he likes you. That’s why he did it here. He trusts you.”
“He pee on me. He do nothing but cry when I hold.”
“That’s because you’re too nervous.” James slid a hand between them and gestured for Geno’s. Geno didn’t hesitate to meet him halfway. “You have to see him like any other baby,” James continued. “Those babies you visit in orphanages. Or those strangers’ babies you talk to and make laugh.”
“He is not any other baby. He is Sidney. Changes things.”
“No, it doesn’t. Here,” James guided Geno’s hand up towards Sidney. “Just put your hand where he can see it. Play with him, like you would if he was big and you were on the ice.”
“But-”
“Like how you feel when you’re on the ice,” James amended, releasing Geno’s hand. “It’s no different. Not when it’s about something deeper.”
Geno was skeptical but he kept his hand flat on the carpet and his eyes on Sidney. He could see the points where Sidney was pushing himself up on his hands for just a few seconds before falling back to his chest. It must have been exhausting but eventually, he did reach for Geno’s hand and grabbed hold of his forefinger. Geno allowed Sidney to pull at his finger until it was in his mouth and he was gnawing on it.
James leaned over and kissed Geno’s head. “See. Like that,” he said, before pushing himself up and leaving them to it in favor of coffee.
*
There was improvement in Geno’s handling of Sidney but he still didn’t sleep much the second night. He behaved himself and left the bed rather than waking James and he ended up watching Sidney sleep. He tried to imagine living with this, with having the knowledge that losing control of his external life could lead to this sort of thing, and just couldn’t. Yet, it was just another weight upon Sidney’s young shoulders. He wondered at a world where that could happen and brushed his fingers through the thin wisps of Sidney’s hair. He then settled himself against the side of the Pack N Play and that was where he fell asleep.
It wasn’t Sidney’s crying that woke Geno this time, but his cooing. From the sitting position he was still in, Geno turned his head just slightly to see the baby on his back and grabbing his feet. He was talking to himself in his baby language and despite the crick in his back and neck, Geno stayed put to watch. All of Sidney’s determination was contained in his movements and Geno wanted very badly to believe that James was right. He wanted to think it was as simple as feeling how he did at any other time in his life. He shifted to lift Sidney into his arms. He managed a diaper change and all of the pajama snaps in the right place. He was really quite pleased with himself when he carried a happier Sidney downstairs, speaking quietly to him in Russian.
He ended up following James’ voice - and the smell of coffee - to the kitchen and stopped in the doorway when he saw Brandon. “Hey,” he greeted them both. Brandon’s eyes fell right to Sidney before he looked quickly away.
James took that as his cue to get to his feet and lift the baby from Geno’s arms. “I knew you’d get it,” he whispered and bumped Geno’s hip. “He’s probably hungry.”
“Of course he hungry. Is breakfast time.” Geno shrugged matter-of-factly. He looked over at Brandon, “Everything okay?”
“Yeah,” he said, staring at his coffee mug like it was the most interesting thing in the world. “I figured something was up when all three of you missed two days,” he finally said. “Hi, Geno.”
“I told you to call,” James muttered, then turned to Brandon. “I told him to call.” As if that vindicated him.
“Was a little busy with crying baby,” Geno huffed right back. Sidney made little noises in James’ arms while Geno got his cereal and bananas ready. “I got sidetrack, then forget. Still not sure why you tell me. How you help?” He glanced at Brandon, whose eyes went a little wide.
“Oh, I don’t, I’m not sure I would have,” Brandon stuttered. “What I mean is-”
“He’s sleeping with Sid, G. It’s Brandon’s contract Sid’s freaking out about this time.”
So, yeah, that pretty much had Geno dropping everything. He turned his incredulous expression first to James and then to Brandon. “Say again, please. Because I think you say -”
“He did,” Brandon confirmed, but didn’t elaborate further.
“Is bad that I did not call. I am sorry,” Geno offered and sat down across from Brandon. “James not want to tell, say just trust, so I do, but did not expect this.”
“It’s okay. I don’t think I could have done anything anyway. It’s kind of weird to see him like this. It was weird last year when he was a preschooler.” Brandon attempted a smile as he focused on Geno. “It’s just... after a few days and not hearing from him, I got a little worried.”
“Think maybe if you who he worry about, maybe you have to take over from here,” Geno said. From behind them, James was making noises of agreement while he finished what Geno had started with Sidney’s breakfast.
“Geno, I don’t even know what I can do. The contract’s out of my hands right now. Am I going to do whatever I can to stay? Of course, but you know as well as I do, sometimes it doesn’t work out that way.” Brandon sounded more frustrated than Geno’d ever heard him before. “It’s not like I’m going to run off to the Flyers or anything.”
Geno winced at that and Sidney screeched from James’ arms. Max was an open wound that refused to heal, though seeing him in an Avs sweater made it hurt a little less. “Still, not think he get what he need to be Sid again with us. We have contract. We not sleep with him.”
James coughed at that and Geno stood so he could take the Sidney handoff again. It really was sort of incredible how easy it was for them, like the dance they did on the ice. Geno brought the baby over to Brandon and guided Sidney down onto his lap. “You hold, James feed.”
“No, no, c’mon, Geno. I can’t, really,” he protested, but Geno didn’t give in until Brandon held onto Sidney to keep him in a sitting position on his lap. “This is really not okay. This is so not okay and even weirder than that.”
“You care about someone, this what you do. Take care and give faith.”
James carried Sidney’s breakfast to the table and set it down. He kissed Geno’s nose and murmured, “Nicely done, G.” He then sat himself down and began explaining this morning routine to Brandon. Geno left them to it.
*
They told Brandon to stay and that night, Geno closed the bedroom door, climbed into bed with James, and felt sleep begin to infuse his bones. He felt James’ hand on his hip and the softness of his pillow as a lulling thing.
“Brandon sleeping on floor next to Sidney. Should have called but didn’t know,” he murmured. He was really tired and he could feel himself fighting the edges of a biological clock.
“They weren’t forthcoming. Brandon just needed to talk to someone and I happened to get him drunk enough.”
“Why you say Sidney freak out about us if he date Brandon?” Geno asked, that fact heavy on his mind.
“It’s different when Sid has control. You know that. Besides, I just... I wanted to be part of that revelation.”
Geno could hear the softer edge of James’ voice and these were such definitive moments for him. They were the ones that offset all of the bickering they did on and off the ice. So Geno could let it go, push his nose into James’ neck and exhale his exhaustion. “You’ll be good father one day. Come through when tough.”
James breathed out a laugh and Geno could feel lips on his temple. “I love you, too, G,” was pressed into the kiss. Geno was more exhausted than he’d been in months but he really liked having this time. It felt almost like foresight.
And maybe a little like a gift.
