Work Text:
Five Times Carlos Rejects Cecil’s Offer, And One Time He Doesn’t
-5
“And now, the weather,” Cecil says into his microphone. He pushes the button and takes off his headphones. Soon after his phone starts to buzz. “Hello?” Cecil answers suspiciously into the phone. Lately he’s been getting these weird phone calls from advertisements about the newest flying alligators on sale, and as he has said before, they would be cool to own, but obviously he can’t get one because he doesn’t have time to take care of it. That, and because the Faceless Old Women Who Secretly Lives In His Home would not approve, probably because the flying alligator can sense her.
“Cecil, hi,” The voice from the other side greets, and Cecil instantly grows a smile on his face.
“Hellooo, Carlos. How are you today? Are you calling for personal reasons?” Cecil asks.
“I’m not calling for personal reasons. Today I was walking down the street when I noticed flowers growing everywhere. I studied them more, and it seems that if bothered they can emit a toxic gas,” Carlos starts explaining, ignoring Cecil’s beginning question like always.
“That’s quite interesting. I haven’t actually talked to my flowers lately, but I hope that when I do I won’t bother them!” Cecil replies enthusiastically.
“Right. Anyway, I need you to warn your listeners that the spontaneously growing flowers can emit a toxic gas if bothered,” Carlos continues to explain, seeming a little distracted.
“Are you okay? I mean, did you bother the plant because if you did then I know this great guy who can cleanse you of the radiation by using this bottle-”
“Yes, I’m fine." Carlos interrupts. "Anyway, could you get the word out to your listeners? I think the flowers don’t like humans." Carlos says, and Cecil can hear a page being turn from the other side. Before Cecil can respond though, Carlos continues. "And they seem to be popping up everywhere. Can you warn your listeners about them?"
“Of course flowers are dangerous! You have to tame them to have them not bite you. I’m not sure if they emit poisonous gas, but, hey, new time for everything, right? Hey, do you want to talk about this some more? Like, maybe over a nice dinner?” Cecil offers, hopeful.
“No thanks. Thanks, Cecil, bye,” Carlos says and hangs up. Cecil sighs. Another missed attempt at trying to hang out with Carlos. He looks at his phone, until a tap on the glass from the intern, Franz, is signaling Cecil he only has a minute before the weather stops. Cecil gives a slight nod and puts his headphones back on, fixing his posture and readjusting the microphone. When the ‘On Air’ sign turns green he starts again.
“Welcome back, listeners. While the weather was playing, our most beloved scientist called to ask me a favor. He said that I should warn you that the flowers popping out all over town can emit a toxic gas. He advises you to stay away from them- And isn’t he just so sweet? I asked if he wanted to talk about them some more, but he politely declined. Isn’t it great that I can get news to you guys about science so quickly? I sure think it is.”
-4
"Ah! Hello, Carlos!" Cecil exclaims, looking up to see Carlos coincidently by him.
"Oh, Cecil, I didn't see you there..." Carlos replies, looking up at Cecil in surprise.
"Yeah... So, um, what are you doing?" The now not-so-suave radio host asks.
"Oh, well, I heard some fruits react differently to different sounds, so I was sent out to get some," He answers, looking back down at the selection of fruit and hovering his hand over the cantaloupe.
"Ah, well, do you perhaps need any... Help with that?" Cecil offers hopefully.
"No, the scientists got it," Carlos dismisses Cecil's offer, picking up a cantaloupe that's being particularly calmer then the other ones, and putting it in his basket.
"Ah, I see. Well, then, I love cantaloupe. Be careful, though, some start growing teeth in their earlier days. You probably already knew that though," Cecil laughs lethargically.
"Right," Carlos says, making some distance between him and the basket now. "Thanks, I'll warn the scientists."
"Alright, if you need any help, just call me," Cecil offers.
"Thanks. See you," Carlos says as he walks away.
"See you," Cecil responds back.
Later that night, Cecil makes sure to keep his phone by him at all times, but he never gets a call.
"Listeners, wow! Yesterday, I was at the Ralph's -- getting my latest supplies for the bloodstone circles -- and just as I was passing by the Infectious Melon and Other Fruits section, you'll never believe who I ran into! That's right, Carlos! Perfect, wonderful Carlos, who said he was out getting fruit for an experiment! Wow! What a coincidence. Or perhaps it's fate! Who knows? I certainly don’t. But maybe the tablets do, or even the Vague Yet Menacing Government. What. Power. Well then, I bid you farewell, and Good night, Night Vale, Good night.”
-3
Cecil looked in front of him, and even with the mist shrouding the conference room and the hooded figures that everyone was trying to avoid, he could tell that the perfect hair a few feet away belonged to Carlos. He slowly inches closer, while still continuing to write down notes on the speaker (A literal five-headed dragon).
"Sooo," Cecil starts nonchalantly, gaining the scientist's attention. "Hiram McDaniels, right?" He asks.
"I guess." Carlos replies offhandedly. "I don't know. The Faceless Old Women Who Secretly Lives in My House says that she probably won't bother the scientist and me for at least four months if we vote for her."
"But Hiram is such a good candidate! Have you heard about his plans?" Cecil defends.
"Uh, no, not exactly. Usually when I listen to him it’s when all five heads are talking at once, one even going out of it’s way to compliment my hair," Carlos replies with a slight blush. Cecil bit his bottom lip. Oh angels that don’t exist Cecil keep it together. “Oh look,” Carlos continues, “I think the meeting is over.”
“Oh?” Cecil asks, not paying attention. Carlos nods his head slightly.
“Yeah, I think so. One head just set a reporter on fire and then Hiram fled. Like, all five heads, I mean,” Carlos explains. “Well then, see you,” Carlos says, turning around.
“Ah, wait!” Cecil scrambles. “Would you perhaps like to come with me to lunch to talk some more about the candidates? I have a lot of information about Hiram McDaniels,” He offers (once again) hopefully.
“I don’t think I can,” Carlos replies with a frown. “I have to look at the results for the
Hamsters and Gerbils I found making a small militia by the dog park.”
“Right. All right then. See you, then,” Cecil says weakly.
“Right,” Carlos says with a slight nod and heads for the door. Cecil slumps down and sighs, before heading back to the Night Vale Radio Station. Maybe one day.
-2
It all started twenty-seven minutes and fourteen seconds before, with Cecil leisurely sitting on his velvet plush couch reading a municipally approved book about the fascination of water fronts, and why every town needs one. It was the mandated book of the month that all citizens were expected to read, but it’s probably because of that spoil sport Steve. Man, is that guy a jerk. Anyway, he was on the chapter about ‘Dangerous Spiders and Your Friends (Who Are Spiders)’ when his phone rang. He placed a bookmark that says ‘I heart NVCR’ in big, blocky, black letters on his page and closed the book.
“Hello?” He answered, because that’s how he always answers given that he still doesn’t have caller-id because City Council still hasn’t approved of his paperwork yet.
“Cecil, hello, I’m not calling for personal reasons,” Carlos greets.
“Ah, hello, Carlos! How are you?” Cecil asks politely.
“Can you please do me a favor?”
“Of course,” Cecil replies, and Carlos can hear the smile already on Cecil’s face from on the phone.
“Great. I need you to get some supplies for me. There are these crazy bird-rats that accidently escaped in the lab and I need to make a concoction that’ll hopefully have a strong enough scent to get them to call down,” Carlos explains.
“Alright,” Cecil agrees slowly, “What do you need me to get?”
“Well, this books says that to make the mix you’ll need a chicken leg, cactus juice, donkey blood, I already have the cantaloupe,” Carlos chimes in, “And three Hyena’s teeth. I think. Is that a lot?” Carlos asks.
“Oh, no, I can get everything at the Ralph’s,” Cecil replies.
“Oh... That’s interesting. But great. I would have somewhere else get it but they’re all tied up right now.”
“I’m on it. See you, Carlos.” Cecil says and hangs up. He bounces off of his couch (who doesn’t appreciate the action) and grabs his wallet before leaving his house and using his bike. (The weather’s nice enough, and his car is still invisible from the fiasco on Tuesday)
And so, twenty-seven minutes and fourteen seconds later Cecil has already put his bike on the bike rack and is at the door knocking with a paper bag in one hand. (Plastic bags can’t be trusted anymore).
“Cecil, you’re here!” Carlos greets from the partially opened door.
“Ah, yes. Hello! Here you go,” Cecil replies, holding the bag up.
“Ah, thank you so much! Again, someone else would’ve done it but the ingredients were weird and we don’t want any bird-rats escaping considering they produce a neon purple sludge sometimes,” Carlos babbled on.
“Anytime, really,” Cecil smoothly replied. “Do you guys... Perhaps need any help? I’m very into science.”
“Um, no, I don’t think so. These ingredients should do it.” Carlos replies, taking the bag through the small opening.
“Ah well-”
“I would love to stay and chat but I have to go. See you, Cecil, and thanks,” Carlos thanks.
“By-e,” Cecil says as the door is closed slowly. Before he turns around though the door opens again.
“Hey, Cecil, here’s the money,” Carlos says, holding some money out.
“Oh no, it wasn’t expensive,” Cecil tries to deny.
“No, really, please take it,” Carlos assures.
“Al- Alright then. Thanks,” Cecil says as he takes the money.
“Yep, see you,” and the door closes. When Cecil goes back to his bike there’s a spring in his step, and on his way back home he’s humming the weather from yesterday.
-1
“Ello?” Carlos replies groggily. Although time doesn’t even exist in Night Vale (which Carlos and the rest of the scientist refuse to believe), it seems rather late, considering that even the scientists called it a ‘probably day’ and went to bed.
“Carloooos?” The other person on the phone asks.
“Ce-Cecil? Are you drunk?” Carlos infers, sitting up now.
“No, pssh, that’s ridiculous,” Cecil replies with a chuckle, “Actually, it’s not, s’ it? Say nothing, and drink to forget,” Cecil recites from memory.
“What did you have to forget?” Carlos asks, now having his feet dangle on the side of the bed.
“Y’ know, I can’t remember anymore. That’s good,” Cecil remarks, his voice evident of pride.
“That’s not- Argh. Where are you, Cecil?” Carlos asks, starting to put on some more clothes since the desert can get rather cold at night and grabbing his lab coat.
“Mmm, I love’ it when you saaay m’ naaame,” Cecil slurs happily.
“Cecil. Where are you?” Carlos calmly demands.
“Let’s see. There’s a dog park I don’t know about, I think. HELLO DANA!” Cecil exclaims.
“Alright, by Earl and Somerset. Just stay there, and I’ll come and get you, okay?” Carlos assures and yawns as he gets into his Hybrid Coupe.
“Anything!” Cecil agrees happily. “See you!” He says and hangs up. Carlos sighs and puts his phone in the cup holder and starts driving.
“Cecil!” Carlos exclaims as he gets out of the car, to see Cecil sitting obediently on the grass by the road. Cecil waves in response and smiles.
“Helloooo,” The drunk greets as he gets up. “I knew you’d come for me!” As he walks over to Carlos’ car he wobbles a little.
“Careful, there,”Carlos says, now guiding Cecil to the passenger seat. “There. Just sit, okay?” Carlos says.
“Right! Can do!” Cecil replies. Carlos nods and goes over to the driver seat.
“Alright, Cecil, where do you live?” Carlos asks as he starts up the car again. Cecil mutters something incoherent. “What?” Carlos asks. Cecil says it again a little louder this time, but in Carlos defense the buzzing sound coming from some houses is louder then Cecil right now. “Repeat that one more time, please,” Carlos asks. Cecil huffs with a small laugh and leans towards the scientist and whispers it loud enough in Carlos’ ear. When Cecil retracts there’s a grin on his face as he sits there content with his eyes closed. Carlos blushes, but says a “Thank you” and starts driving.
“Come, on, Cecil, we’re here,” Carlos informs as he turns off his car and looks at the passenger seat. No response. He nudges Cecil a little, only to see the radio host has fallen asleep, his head lulled to the side. Carlos huffs. He gets out of the car and goes over to Cecil’s side and opens the door. “Come on, Cecil,” Carlos says with a shake of Cecil’s shoulder.
“Car-los?” Cecil asks groggily, much like how Carlos was in the beginning.
“Yes. We’re at your house,” Carlos responds, helping the still slightly tipsy man out and to his front door.
“So we are. How did I get here?” He asks with a yawn.
“I drove,” Carlos says.
“So you did,” Cecil muses, inhaling slowly. He fishes out his keys in his pocket and opens the door. “Thanks,” He murmurs. “Would you like to come in?” He asks, still sleepy, somewhat leaning on Carlos, and probably not thinking about what he’s saying.
“Ah, no, it’s okay, I best get back and all, you know,” Carlos responds quickly. Cecil inclines his head but doesn’t say anything else.
“Alright then. Good night, Carlos, Good night,” Cecil says as he stands up goes into his house, and wow, Carlos likes it when Cecil says good night to him, but quickly escapes back to his car. He notices the lights are never turned on, before he backs out of Cecil’s old driveway and heads back home.
The morning after the radio host wakes up on his couch with a headache and his clothes wrinkly. He doesn’t know how he got there, until he remembers. Okay, so he can’t remember much, actually. It was cool to say that. He can, though, remember a certain scientist with perfect hair helping him, and he smiles at the memory, even though the rest is foggy.
+1
It used to be a game, in a way. Cecil inviting Carlos to anything and everything, and the scientist denying it with an excuse of some sort. But that’s fine, because Cecil still hadn’t given up, and in return Carlos had started liking Cecil more then he thought he could, and not in that dry science way that he usually uses.
Well, after the incident under Lane Five at the Arcade Bowling and Fun Complex, everything changed. In that moment of literal death, Carlos realized something. He knew that in the one year since he moved from his hometown in Arizona and gone to Night Vale, he has had a chance for happiness. A chance to try something new, and, forget about death (which is actually easy to do in this odd-ball town), if Carlos had a second chance to just say ‘Yes, I would love to,’ to Cecil he would do so in a heartbeat. He closed his eyes as he could hear the radio in the background. The sound of someone crying, and Carlos knows immediately that it’s Cecil, the man who has announced his affection for Carlos on the radio, the man who is used to deaths, crying because Carlos is dead. Carlos wants to laugh at that. Laugh, because what are the chances of finding love in this town and not seeing it even though it’s so bluntly in front of him? Before he knows it though, theres a feeling of being lifted up, and a blinding light. He opens his eyes, because even though everything hurts he needs to know what’s going on, and he sees town people breaking into cheer. He can faintly hear the radio’s voice turn happy until Teddy Williams is by Carlos’ side patching him up.
Later Carlos texts Cecil. Because after everything that has happened, he just wants to see Cecil.
A few days after that, they went on their first date together. By the end they kiss once, before Carlos slowly slips out of the car and into the apartment, with eager scientist wanting to know what happened.
A week after the date Carlos gets a call in the middle of an experiment. He looks at the caller-id though, and picks it up.
“Hey,” Carlos greets, because he knows it’s Cecil.
“Hello, Carlos, “ Cecil greets back. “How are you?”
“I’m okay. And you?” Carlos asks.
“Oh, I’m great! Oh, well, I mean, I was just calling to ask if you were perhaps... Free?
Um, tonight, at, uh, seven,” Cecil squeaked out nervously. “As like, a date?” The corners of Carlos’ lips curve up into a smile.
“Yes, Cecil, I’d love to,” He replies.
“Neat!”
-End-