Chapter Text
“I love you,” Fenris whispers into Varric’s ear. It’s the first time he’s ever spoken those words to anyone. He’s wanted to say it forever, since long before they became roommates. It’s his New Year’s resolution to tell Varric how he feels, and now he’s said it. His heart is racing, and he’s scared as fuck, but he has to say it.
Varric turns his head slightly, and says simply, “I know.”
It’s OK that he doesn’t say it back. That’s not what’s important here. But Fenris has to make sure he understands. “No, I am in love with you.” This second confession is easier, somehow.
Varric laughs and says, “Yeah, no kidding. Now get back to work.” With a grunt he thrusts his hips up and back, forcing Fenris deeper inside his ass.
Fenris snakes a hand between the mattress and Varric’s chest, diagonally up over the opposite shoulder. He pulls him in tight, tethering them together. Now he can really drive in deep, and he does. Deep, hard, slow or fast, whatever. Varric can take it. Fenris loves the solidness of the body beneath him, the strong bones and thick muscles. So substantial, so powerful.
He licks the skin of Varric’s upper back where a sheen of sweat is building up. He loves the taste, the smell, the feel of the slickness as he slides over it again and again. They’ve been at it for a while now. Fenris wishes it could last forever, but he’s starting to get tired, and a little raw. He has been holding off, wanting Varric to come first. He tips his hips slightly, looking for a new angle.
Now he’s got it right. Varric arches his back and starts chanting OH fuck OH fuck. His ass is tensing, tightening, and he starts coming, bucking and calling out Fenris… Fenris…
The sound of Varric’s voice calling out his name sends him over the edge, and with loud gasps he explodes…
…all over the white tiled wall of the shower stall.
Then he heard Varric again, from the other side of the bathroom door, saying, “Oh. Fuck, dude. Sorry.” Then retreating footsteps and, he thought, a soft chuckle.
***
In the Jeep on the way to the party, Varric nattered on about who would be there (“Remember, Carver’s new girlfriend is Gillian; don’t mention Susan”), and wondered if Donnic had remembered to put the champagne in the fridge. Then, inevitably, he brought up the earlier ‘situation.’ He apologized again, keeping his eyes on the busy road. He seemed embarrassed that he’d heard his roommate jerking off in the shower. Fenris was actually glad it had happened. He wanted Varric to think about his cock. Maybe he would do something about it, get things started, not be a pussy like he was.
But then Varric said, “You know, I was thinking, maybe we should look for a bigger place. So you can have your own bathroom. Easier when we both have to get ready at the same time. More room. More… privacy.”
Fenris’s heart dropped into his gut. He did not want more privacy, he wanted more intimacy. He didn’t want more space, because that might mean they didn’t share space as much. He loved the small, tight rooms of the thousand-square-foot downtown condo. The more he bumped into his roommate, literally, the better.
“I told you a month ago I’d clear out the guest room for you, but have I done anything about it yet? No..." Varric deftly navigated the holiday traffic. "You need your own bed. I can’t believe you’re still sleeping on the couch.”
Fenris looked out the passenger side window. He couldn’t believe it, either. If he weren’t such chicken shit, he’d have done something about it by now. He wasn’t interested in the guest room, though. He had no desire to have a bed of his own. “If that’s what you want. But no need to move on my account…”
They rode in silence for a few blocks, then Varric said, “Uhm, Fenris, is there something you need to tell me?”
In spite of himself, he swung around to seek out Varric’s eyes. “What do you mean?”
“Well, I thought we were getting along really well, but… You’ve been pretty quiet lately, even more than usual.” Varric glanced to his right, then back at the road. “Are you like planning to move out or something? I mean, I'll understand, but -”
“No!” Fenris replied quickly. Too quickly, probably. “No, I… I don’t want to move out. But if you feel I’m crowding you…” Crap. Great job making things clearer, fuckhead.
Varric laughed with what sounded like relief. “No way. I love… having you there.”
***
Varric continues. “I love it when you crowd me. God, I wish you’d do it more. Crawl onto my lap when we’re watching TV. Climb into my bed every night. Join me in the shower. Hell yeah, crowd the fuck out of me.”
“I can do that.” Fenris reaches over and strokes Varric’s leg. His fingers tease the inner thigh, just barely nudging the bulge of his balls. Varric makes a choked gasping sound and lets his legs fall farther apart. When Fenris takes his cock in hand and squeezes it through his pants, Varric jerks the wheel and pulls into an empty parking lot.
Fenris unbuckles his seat belt and dives over to the driver’s side, and in a flash he’s got Varric’s pants down to his knees. When he hits his head on the steering wheel, Varric slides his seat back, then gets it to recline. He grasps Fenris’s head and draws him down to his twitching cock.
Fenris wants to savor the first taste of the plum-sized head and the first drops of fluid gathering at the slit, to kiss it, to explore its contours and textures with his lips and tongue. But instead he sucks it into his mouth greedily, and right away he’s gorging on the shaft, all the way down to the base. His nose is buried in the nest of pubes there, and he inhales deeply. It’s heaven. He’s moaning just as loudly as Varric, whose head is rolling around on the headrest.
Up and down, sucking and licking and swirling his tongue all around the perfect rod, while he cups the plump balls and rolls them around in his palm. Varric, close to coming now, croaks out Fenris… He increases the suction. He can’t wait for that hot juice to come spurting against the back of his throat. Varric says again, Fenris...
He felt a rush of cold air, and glanced over to see Varric climbing out of the Jeep. “We’re here.”
And they were. While Fenris was fantasizing, Varric had found Aveline and Donnic’s place and parked at the curb behind a half-dozen other cars.
***
Down in the basement, the party was going full swing. Fenris grabbed a bottle and a glass, then settled back on a bar stool and took it all in. Carver was introducing his new girlfriend to everyone (Gillian, not Susan). Anders and Garrett were showing off their matching engagement rings, wide bands of platinum and sparkly stones. Aveline was confirming that yes she was pregnant, while Donnic looked on proudly. Isabela and Merrill were dancing by the stereo, seductive and oblivious. Bethany fussed over the appetizers on the buffet while Cullen whipped up a batch of fresh eggnog. Then there was Sebastian, the only one there without a date. Besides himself. And Varric. Choirboy better not be anywhere near them at the stroke of twelve, dammit. The single guys do not have to stick together, not tonight.
Varric worked the room, going from couple to couple, kissing cheeks and hugging and catching up. He was wearing the cashmere v-neck that Fenris had given him for Christmas. No t-shirt underneath. It sure showed off his impressive lats and traps. Its softness seemed to be getting him a lot of feely hugs, but was getting Fenris a lot of speculative looks from its admirers. God, why did he have to wear that tonight? What were they asking Varric about him? What was Varric answering? Fuck it, once he acted on his new year’s resolution, everyone would know they were a couple. If things went the way he hoped.
He was hoping that, with everyone paired off when the ball dropped, he could seize the moment and take Varric in his arms, when it was perfectly natural and everyone else was doing it, getting his own feely hug, and…
“Happy New Year,” he whispers.
Varric turns to him, wraps his arms around him, and lifts his face. “Happy New Year, babe.”
Fenris takes that amazing jaw in both hands and draws him in for a kiss. Holding his breath, he brushes his lips across Varric’s. Then, when Varric tightens his grip around his waist, he centers their mouths and presses in, lips parting, tongues wrangling, moaning and sighing and inhaling and –
“Happy New Year!” Sebastian surrounds them both in a bear hug.
Fenris wants to tell him to fuck off, but Varric includes him in their embrace. “Same to you, brother.”
“Happy New Year, Fenris,” Sebastian says. "Fenris?”
***
“What do you want,” he growled.
“Geez! I was just asking for some of that wine you’re hoarding.” Sebastian held out a glass.
“Oh. Sorry. Here.”
“Is everything OK? You seem kind of out of it. Care to share?”
“I do not.”
“Fair enough,” Sebastian said after taking a sip of his wine. He paused a moment longer, then pinned Fenris with those ridiculously blue eyes. “Tell me, is there something going on between you and Varric?”
“No,” he replied flatly. As if he’d tell Sebastian if there were. He just wanted the guy to leave him alone.
“If you say so. But, for what it’s worth, I hope your New Year’s wishes come true.”
“Well, thanks. Same to you,” he said, sounding less than gracious. Fenris didn’t want to be grumpy, not tonight. He was just… nervous. But he didn't apologize. “What time is it, anyway?”
“Ten thirty or so...” Sebastian said over his shoulder as he headed back to the others.
Fenris decided to escape before anyone else asked him the same thing. The perfect chance came a moment later: Garrett and Carver were tossing jello shots into each others' mouths from ever-increasing distances, while everyone cheered them on. He slipped up the stairs and into the den, where he sprawled on a sofa under a muted TV showing a bloopers reel. He could hear the rumble of the party downstairs; he figured Varric or someone would come find him before midnight.
He must have dozed, cuz the next thing he knows, Varric is kissing him gently on the lips. “Come on, Sleeping Beauty. The ball’s about to drop. Let’s go ring in the new year.”
Instead of getting up, he grabs Varric’s wrist and pulls him down on top of him. “This is how I want to ring it in.” They start kissing. He slips a hand under the cashmere sweater, stroking the muscles along Varric’s ribs. He feels a thick thigh press between his own, and a hard cock rubbing against his.
Varric murmurs against his lips, “Mmmm, good new tradition, Fenris. Fenris…?”
“Yeah?” he mumbles.
“Fenris, the ball’s about to drop.” Varric was standing over him, shaking his shoulder. “Let’s go down and toast the new year.”
***
The champagne had been passed around, and everyone was counting down. Thirty. Twenty-nine. They all watched the clock on the screen tick away the seconds. He'd already lost track of Varric, so he just found a spot along the wall behind the bar. He couldn't care less about the countdown, standing there alone, preparing for another mundane, meaningless –
Then he felt his arm being lifted and a thick, warm body tucking under it, pressing against his side. Varric’s ponytail tickled his nose. Nineteen. Eighteen.
Now Fenris did join in, counting down as he leaned back against the wall. Ten. Nine. Varric leaned back with him, and nestled his head in the crook of his neck. Fenris wished he could stop time.
Two. One.
“Happy New Year!” everyone was shouting, clinking glasses, grabbing their partners and celebrating the moment with kisses and hugs.
Fenris, heart hammering, didn’t move. He just waited. Varric turned to face him, and tapped their glasses together. “Happy New Year, Broody.”
He opened his mouth but no words came out. He just gazed down helplessly into those light brown eyes. He couldn’t even spit out the automatic holiday wish. How the hell would he be able to say the other stuff?
Varric’s smile became reckless, then he reached a hand behind Fenris’s neck and pulled him down for a quick, hard kiss. “Now drink up. We’re leaving right now. You feel the need to say goodbye to anyone?” His eyes were gleaming and his cheeks flushed.
“No, not at all. But I thought we were spending the night –”
“Not a chance. I’m taking you home, and showing you my new year’s resolution. Then you’ll show me yours.” He laughed at the stunned look on his roommate's face. “It’s going to be a good year, Fenris, and – dammit – it starts tonight.”