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“I don’t think this is a good idea, Joonie…” Yoongi muttered under his breath as he was dragged towards the front door of their dorm. “I mean, we just had a comeback. I don’t feel like getting swarmed right now. I wanna sleep.”
“You always wanna sleep.” Namjoon replied as he slid his grip from around Yoongi’s wrist, down to his palm, where he intertwined their fingers. “Just one cup of coffee. It won’t kill you. The cafe close by is releasing their holiday drinks today and I really wanna try them.” He tried to explain for the nth time before he stopped in his tracks and turned to face Yoongi.
He took a hat from one of the hooks on the wall by the door, a face mask from a shelf, and a scarf from the pile of fabric that was dubbed as the ‘winter free-for-all’. He ruffled the miffed male’s hair before putting the hat on him and pushing it down over his eyes. There was a huff as Yoongi swatted his hands away and fixed the hat. Namjoon felt the corner of his lips pull upwards to form a smile as he snapped his fingers to get Yoongi’s attention. As soon as the shorter male looked up, Namjoon took the face mask and gently put the straps behind Yoongi’s ears and situated it over the cute button nose that always turned red when it’s owner was cold, sick, or blushing. He let his fingers linger a little longer than necessary, brushing some stray strands of hair behind small, pale ears. He didn’t wait around for Yoongi to swat his hands away this time and quickly moved to wrap the scarf around the shorter male’s slim neck, bunching it up to cover as much skin as he could.
Yoongi felt his cheeks heat up, luckily hidden by the face mask, as Namjoon grabbed his winter coat and went to put it around his shoulders. He knew that if he let this continue, he wouldn’t be able to escape the warm hands when they buttoned his coat, or when they put on his gloves for him, or when they fixed his hair again. So he decided to take things into his own hands by grabbing the coat and muttering, “Hurry up and put on your stuff. I don’t wanna be here all day.” before swinging the coat over his shoulders and putting his arms through the sleeves. He grabbed a pair of gloves from the pile and slipped them on. Namjoon watched as Yoongi struggled a bit to get the coat buttoned up with his gloved fingers. He held back a smile as he adjusted his hat and put on a face mask, then slipped on his coat, buttoning up as fast as possibly without looking suspicious. Once he was finished, he looked over and saw that Yoongi was only halfway done with his buttons, too stubborn to just take off the gloves.
“Hurry up, hyung, I don’t wanna be here all day.” he said in a mocking tone, but he was clearly smiling, judging by the way his eyes squinted a bit. He heard a huff of annoyance from the other male and could just barely hold back a snort of laughter. “Just let me help you, you stubborn midget.”
“Yah! Shut up, brat, I’ve got it.” Yoongi practically ripped off his gloves and tried to quickly button up the coat, but the buttons keep slipping out his his hands, since he was moving too fast. He felt more flustered as Namjoon laughed at his struggle. It was a fond laugh, but a laugh nonetheless. “Whatever. I don’t even need it buttoned. Can we just go get this coffee thing over with already. I’m missing out on precious sleep.”
Namjoon sighed and grabbed Yoongi’s upper arm as he tried to move past him to get to the door, “Yoongi.” He took on what everyone dubbed as his ‘leader voice’. “Just take a deep breath. You’re getting too frustrated. Just let me do your buttons for you.” He spun the shorter male to face him and brought a hand up to pat his head.
“I’m not getting frustrated. Shut up. And don’t pat my head like I’m some child, Namjoon. I can dress myself. You don’t need to do things for me.” Yoongi pushed his hand away again, but this time with a bit more malice in the action as he narrowed his eyes.
The younger of the two clicked his tongue, “I’m not treating you like a child. I’m treating you like someone I care about, Yoongi. I’m just trying to help you.”
“Well I don’t need your help, ok?” Yoongi was raising his voice slightly and he wanted to slap himself for acting like this. His heart always started beating too fast when Namjoon got close to help him with stuff and he really didn’t wanna deal with these indecipherable feelings yet.
“Why don’t you just stay here? You don’t wanna get coffee anyways and you need to cool down. You always get so heated at the most random of times. It’s always out of the blue and puts everyone else in a bad mood. You can’t act like this over a damn coat, Yoongi.” He didn’t even give Yoongi a chance to respond before he grabbed a pair of gloves and walked out the door, slamming it on his way out.
Yoongi winced as the noise rang throughout the dorm and Namjoon’s words lingered in his head. Why did he get like this when he knew Namjoon was only trying to help? He let out a sigh as he buried his face in his hands.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Namjoon kicked at some rocks as he walked down the sidewalk towards the cafe. Why did Yoongi have to be like that? All he wanted to do what help. He always got a warm, fuzzy feeling when he helped the older male, even if it was a meager task, like buttoning up a coat, or something major like chasing away nightmares of failure. He just wanted to feel that feeling again. With a heavy, unnecessarily dramatic sigh, Namjoon watched cars pass by as he waited for the light to change. Once it did, he followed the crowd of people across the street and then broke away as he went in the less traveled direction. The cafe was a little hole in the wall, not that popular and it was a place that Namjoon had been dying to drag Yoongi to. He had waited weeks for the opportunity to arise but now it was ruined, and he didn’t know when he’d get another chance.
The bell to the cafe chimed as he walked in. ‘Might as well make the best of this trip,’ he thought as he ordered some pastries and a cup of their new peppermint coffee. He made sure to order Yoongi’s favorite doughnut. He hoped he could use it to ask for forgiveness for storming out like that. Yoongi was in the wrong for raising his voice, but as a leader he should have handled the situation better, instead he lost his cool and ran away. With his third sigh of the day, Namjoon sat down at a table by the window with his pastries and waited for the barista to call his name to get his coffee.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Time passed and Namjoon searched for every possible reason to stay out of the dorm. He ate a few donuts before slipping out of the cafe and then walked down the street to a fast food restaurant to grab something for dinner. Jin would yell at him later for eating a cheap, greasy burger instead of going back to the dorm to eat a home cooked meal with everyone else, but he couldn’t bring his feet to carry him back just yet.
He wandered along a path in a nearby park as it started to get darker outside. A few, respectful fans discreetly asked for his autograph, which he happily provided in exchange for not getting swarmed.
Street lights finally came on and Namjoon took that as his que to start walking back to the dorm. He didn’t wanna stay out too late and cause worry, he just needed to clear his head. He tucked his hands into his pockets and turned around, starting on the way back- back to where he had a major problem to solve.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yoongi paced across his room, arms crossed over his chest and head bowed, muttering under his breath. Jin leaned on the door frame as he watched the younger man continue to try and walk a hole into the floor. The eldest let out a sigh, knowing he had to figure out a way to fix whatever was wrong with their small rapper. “Yoongi. Can you please sit down? You haven’t eaten dinner, you haven’t left your room in hours, and you won’t even look at me. Where’s Namjoon anyways? He left a while ago and hasn’t been back.” Then it dawned on him. The slamming of the front door earlier, Yoongi being anxious, and Namjoon’s prolonged absence. They had a fight. With all the pieces of the puzzle now falling into place, Jin pushed himself away from the door and moved towards the shorter male who was still muttering something to himself under his breath. He put his hands out and grabbed onto Yoongi’s shoulders, stopping him in his tracks.
Yoongi looked up and Jin felt his heart clench. The younger had moist eyes and had bitten his bottom lip into oblivion, probably due to how anxious he seemed. Jin let out a puff of air and pulled Yoongi closer to hug him. It took Yoongi a few second before he lifted up his arms and wrapped them tightly around Jin’s waist, resting his head on the older’s shoulder. Jin didn’t say anything, just waited for Yoongi to explain what was going on, until then, he was willing to be his shoulder to rest on.
“I…” Yoongi’s voice cracked from underuse, “I keep fucking up.” he muttered quietly and Jin switched from doing nothing to moving a hand through the shorter man’s black hair. “I don’t know why. It’s just… Every time he gets close, my heart starts beating fast and my face heats up. I’ve never ever thought about Namjoon in any sort of way like that, so I guess I’m just confused.” He took a big breath before continuing, “but what if I do like him like that? What if this isn’t just happening because I haven’t dated in a while? I’m… I’m really scared of these feelings, hyung… I don’t wanna ruin everything that we’ve built up. I don’t want Joon to hate me.” His breath caught in his throat on those last few words, and his voice was thick with emotion, now that he was finally stating his feelings out loud.
Jin held him closer and shuffled a few inches so he could sit down on a bed, Yoongi ending up in his lap while Jin continued to stroke his hair. “Is that why you have been lashing out at Namjoon recently? You don’t get mad when I help you with stuff, you don’t throw a fit if Hobi get’s too close, but you push Joonie away and yell at him if he even breathes the same air as you.”
Yoongi hesitated a second before nodding, gripping Jin’s shirt tightly.
Jin moved to try and pry Yoongi off so he could talk face-to-face with him, but the younger clearly didn’t wanna budge. Jin relented and resumed comforting him, “You know you’re in the wrong though, right?” Another nod from the male in his lap, “Namjoon isn’t a mind reader and from his perspective, you’re just yelling at him for no reason. If I were him, I’d be worried that you hate me.”
Yoongi sighed and released his grip so he could sit up. “I know.” He rubbed his face. “I know. I know. I know.” He muttered, letting out a shaky breath. “I don’t know what to do. It’s too hard to act like I don’t feel anything, so I just try to avoid the situations all together. I know I’m causing him pain, but I don’t know what else I can do.”
“Well, first off, you can stop avoiding him and just let things progress. Maybe things will go back to the way they were or-”
“Or maybe they won’t and I’ll make an idiot out of myself.”
“Or maybe these feelings won’t go away and you and him talk about what’s going on like responsible adults.” Jin jabbed Yoongi’s side his his index finger, “And don’t interrupt me, brat.” He lightly pushed Yoongi out of his lap and onto the bed, “Now. Get yourself together and go out to find Namjoon. He probably ate something gross from McDonald’s for dinner. Give him a smack for me when you find him.”
As Jin made a move to start walking away, Yoongi reached out and grabbed onto his shirt. “Um… Thanks, hyung… for, you know, not freaking out and being okay with all of this. I was really worried you’d be disgusted and what not.”
Jin laughed and removed Yoongi’s hand, holding onto it for a second, “If you thought you were being subtle this whole time, then you really need to work on that. Namjoon is the only one dense enough to not notice. We all still love you guys, no matter what happens.” Jin squeezed his hand one last time before walking away, leaving a flabbergasted Yoongi behind, mouth gaping as he tried to find the words to properly express his embarrassment. In the end he grabbed the pillow nearest to him and screamed into it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Namjoon sighed as he stood in front of the door to the dorm, hesitating to pull out his key and enter. He was worried about all the issues that would greet him on the other side. With a deep breath, he gathered up all his courage and put his key into the lock, turning it. When he opened the door, he didn’t really expect to see Yoongi in almost the exact same position he had left him in.
The older male was in the middle of putting on his gloves when he suddenly looked up to meet Namjoon’s confused gaze. “N-Namjoon! I, uh, was just about to go out and look for you. Jin was worried sick.” The ‘and so was I’ was left unsaid.
Namjoon couldn’t help but smile at Yoongi’s flustered expression. They both stood, just staring at each other for a few seconds before Namjoon decided to break the silence. “Well… I’m home now.” He held up a to-go box, “I brought doughnuts?”
Yoongi sniffed the air and felt himself break out into a smile, “I love glazed doughnuts-”
“They go the best with coffee.” they said at the same time. Yoongi and Namjoon started laughing at the ridiculousness of the whole situation.
They both opened their mouths again, this time to apologize for the fight earlier, but Yoongi rushed forward and put his hand over Namjoon’s mouth, “Don’t say anything. I know you’re gonna try to apologize, but you don’t have to. It’s my fault. I was being absurd and irrational earlier. I’m sorry, Joonie. I don’t want you to think that I’m mad at you, I’ve been dealing with.. things recently and I’m so sorry I took it out on you.”
Namjoon moved Yoongi’s hand away and pulled him into a hug. “I’m sorry too.” he shushed Yoongi before he could protest, “I got heated as well and ran away instead of talking things out. I forgive you, as long as you can forgive me.”
Yoongi felt his heartbeat pick up as he felt Namjoon’s warm breath ruffle his hair with how close they were. “Yeah,” he muttered a bit breathlessly before clearing his throat. “Yeah, of course, Joonie.” Instead of running away from the hug, Yoongi got as close as he could and basked in the other’s warmth. He closed his eyes and was about to ask where Namjoon had gone, but his stomach started growling due to the smell of doughnuts that permeated the air.
Namjoon laughed and pulled away from the hug, ruffling Yoongi’s hair, happy that he wasn’t being swatted away this time, “I’m sure there are leftovers in the fridge, want me to heat some up for us while you go tell Jin that I’m back?”
“That sounds like a good plan.” Yoongi said, flashing a smile as he stepped away and turned around, going in the direction of Jin’s room so he could tell him the good news.
Namjoon watched as Yoongi left. Once he was out of sight, Namjoon slumped against the wall and placed a hand over his heart. He thanked whatever deity was listening that Yoongi was oblivious. He couldn’t ever let anyone know the feelings that he harbored for his friend. He couldn’t ever let anyone know that he fell for a man named Min Yoongi.