Archive of Our Own

Harry shouldn’t be surprised. But when his mum and his granny sit him down, his grandmother radiating and his mum trying her best not to look him in the eyes, he feels his heart sink into his stomach because he knows something is up. It’s only solidified when his grandmother singsongs.

“Something’s happened”

He can only brace himself, confusion furrowing his brows as he pulls his lip between his fingers.

“Okay...”

His mum is next to speak, her own brows knitting, before finally meeting Harry’s eyes.

“Maybe you should sit, Harry”

He does, looking between them. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine-“ His mother starts before his granny cuts in.

“It’s more than fine, in fact, it’s spectacular! I’ve just received intel that is going to be wonderful for everyone!” She claps her hands together.

Harry eyes glance back and forth between the women in the room, his grandmother beams at him but his mother glances around the room nervously.

“Well?”

“Did you want to let him know, dear?” His grandmother directs the questions at his mum.

“I- Yes. I’ll speak to him.” With that his grandmother gives him a pointed, final smile, nodding up and down as she exits the main living room.

His families’ ancestral home is something he’s spent his entire life trying to get used to. It’s a compound nestled on the outskirts of a village, surrounded by a forest of wood. He’s always loved it but there’s always been something about being there that felt unpredictable, as if he could be there, could touch it, see it, smell it, and he’d still end up somewhere else. He never could decide if his mind chose to detach from desire or choice, simply that it did no matter how long he yearned for it when he was away. Today is no different. His mum, under the overly coy topic of “family business”, had called him back to the compound. He knew then -as he knows now- that whatever she says next will mean more for the rest of his life than he’d like it to. Staring after his grandmother he wonders not for the first time how someone so small can be so fierce before turning back to his mother, who is now looking back at him, her eyes shining with as much love and compassion she can emit into them.

“You do know she loves you dearly, don’t you?” She moves to sit next to him.

“I do, mum. Now can we please get on with this?” He can tell she’s picked up on his nerves as he gathers her hands in his. She softens, releases a breath and looks him straight in his eyes before beginning again.

“I want you to know Harry that what I’m going to say next is not in any way a reflection of your granny’s –or my- love for you, sweetie. We love you soo much but-“ before she can finish her eyes well with tears, her voice breaking with the emotion as her eyes shift down to their hands.

“Mum, I know. I know that. Always. Please, don’t cry.”

“I’m sorry, I just don’t want this to change anything between us.” She says looking up expectantly at him.

He starts gently. “Mum, I can’t know how I’ll react to what you have to say until you do, but I can tell you that nothing in this world could ever, ever make me make me think of you as anything less than amazing so please don’t cry.”

She gives him a tightlipped smile before taking shaking her head. “I’m being silly. You must be so frightened. It’s unfair of me to drag this on longer.” She takes another breath before she going on. “So, over the last week your granny has received intel of an Omega.”

Harry feels his brows rise. There hasn’t been an Omega birth in his family for over 60 years, and a sighting of one in over 40. When he was born his family hoped he would break that cycle but it became pretty clear early on that he was an Alpha. Before he can contemplate the significance of this matter in relation to himself further Harry finds himself questioning his mother.

 “What does this birth mean for the pack?”

She winces. “I’m afraid this isn’t an instance of birth. From the information we’ve required he’s 24.”

“What? But that’s impossible isn’t it? We haven’t heard of an Omega birth or sighting in decades?”

She nods. “That’s what we thought. Apparently his family has gone to great lengths to keep him safe –protected, out of sight.”

“But- how is that possible?”

“We’re not exactly sure on the details. We only know that he exists and since then we’ve made contact with his family. As you can imagine, your granny has been adamant about establishing an alliance between our packs. It’s only a matter of time before surrounding packs hear about this and we’ve had to act quickly.”

She takes a shaky breath. “Your grandmother believes that an alliance rooted in marriage would be better suited for all parties involved, she’s expressed this to them and with as much persuasion as she can muster, she’s orchestrated an marriage alliance for you and the boy.”

Harry blanches, her speech picking up. “I know it may seem unfathomable and that it’s a concept unlike anything you’ve grown to know or to expect -but in the past it has not been uncommon or even unlikely. Your status as an Alpha and his status as an Omega provides that a marriage between you two will be viable –not only for the pack today but for future generations…”

His mother is rambling. He knows she’s nervous about his reaction and that she’s rambling because she knows as well as he does that it isn’t necessary for her to explain anything to him, knows he won’t fight this –that he couldn’t possibly. Harry knows what this alliance would mean for them -for the pack. He knows how rare it is that an Omega be born -let alone live a full life- within ones lifetime. He knows the probability, the significance, and the history -he bloody teaches it to the packs pups- but it doesn’t change the sinking feeling in his stomach.

“-How long?” He croaks, cutting his mom off of her spiel because fighting this would be redundant. He can’t force himself to question or challenge something he feels he knows has been coming all his life.

This isn’t a matter of how or why but of when.

His mum takes a breath before responding in a whisper. “He’ll be here in a fortnight.”

Harry spends the next two weeks resolutely not thinking about what the rest of his life will look like.

--

Zayn. His name is Zayn. His mum tells him so a couple of hours after their conversation. She made her way into his room after he called her in, said his name was Zayn with a smile and walked back out. Harry remembers thinking it sounded appropriate.

He didn’t ask him mum to stay, didn’t let her dote one him in the way he could tell she wanted to, because while he may be acceptant of his fate he’s far from content with it. He isn’t trying to be mean and she knows as well as he does that it’s in his nature to deal with things on his own.

He’s been trying to ignore the inevitable for the last two weeks and his time is up. He still can’t decide how he feels. Is it anger? Bitterness? He doesn’t think so because the thing is Harry has always seen this coming, has known that despite the semblance of authority, his life has always been influenced by others. He’s always known that every action he’s taken, every decision he’s had to make was in service to the rest of the pack or his family.

He’s heard it more time than he cares to remember -that being an Alpha provides him with a certain amount of agency, or how lucky he is to be able to make decisions, to be a natural leader. He get’s it, so he’s never once complained. Instead he’s smiled and changed the subject because what else is there to say? That he’s never felt the so called freedom that comes with the Alpha position because every decision he’s ever made, every action he’s had to take has been weighed down by the fact that there’s an entire pack to be considered? No. He couldn’t possible say that because while a part of him feels it, it isn’t in his nature. He knows that at the end of the day when everything is said and done he’s proud of who and what he is. He loves the confidence everyone has in him and he loves the status –his status. So today, right now, Harry clings to that.

This next phase of his life could feel like acceptance but Harry goes for control instead, because for probably the first time in his life the fact that he isn’t the sole authority of his own fate has been established and Harry feels a certain kind of determination at the result of that revelation. Good or bad he hasn’t decided, but he knows who he is and what his birthright is and he isn’t willing to jeopardize that for anyone.

--

Tradition dictates that the unification of an Alpha and Omega be established with premarital rituals. Harry’s marriage to Zayn will be no different; in fact his granny insisted that they begin as soon as Zayn arrives, so that’s exactly what they do.

Harry Styles meets Zayn Malik for the first time in the garden just outside of his families compound.

He knows that as soon as he looks at Zayn everything will become real in a manner he hasn’t allowed himself to acknowledge so naturally, he looks everywhere else but up. Instead he focuses on the stone path his granny had put in last summer and the copious flowers at his surrounding. He finds himself thinking not for the first time how amusing it is that his granny- a very strong willed, no-nonsense woman- finds joy in something as cliché as gardening, funnier even is how it’s taken meeting his fiancé for the first time to truly appreciate it’s beauty. She’d laugh at him.

Harry finally looks up when he can’t take the incessant pressure of a gaze. To his surprise it isn’t his granny -but whom he concludes to be Zayn. He’d be lying if he said his breath didn’t catch in that instant because the man looking back at him is beautiful. He’s about ten yards away and he can still see the way his lashes fan around his eyes, his cheekbones high and sloping. He makes himself look away, willing his grandmother to speak. She doesn’t disappoint.

“Harry dear, come closer, don’t be shy” She waves her hand at him. He obliges, taking a seat at the far end of the bench Zayn sits at.

“So, boys, as you know you’ll be undergoing a series of premarital trials and rituals before the wedding to ensure a bond and ongoing alliance between each or your packs. This includes but is not limited to things such as fasting, purification, devotion rituals and of course, the rite of divulgement. I’m sure your both aware we are on a bit of a schedule and I’ve arranged for us to meet the next three days for trials and rituals. As a courtesy, your parents and I have decided to let you two decide the wedding date -mind you it must occur no later than three days after the final ritual. We start here tomorrow 5 AM sharp. Don’t be late.” His grandmother is brisk and final, eyeing them both a final time before taking the same path Harry came down no less than two minutes earlier.

They both watch her leave, staring after her until her form is lost to the flowers and brush of the garden. Harry isn’t sure what comes next but he does what he does best and takes the initiative.

“So… “ Albeit a bit awkwardly.

“Yes?”

When Zayn responds he’s surprised to hear him speak before checking himself and realizing that it’s a perfectly natural response when prompted, realizing that it was probably stupid to start a conversation with nothing else to say.

“I’m Harry!” He figures that’s a good place to start.

“Yea, I know. Zayn.” Zayn responds, turning to look at him for the first time since his granny left them alone.

“It’s nice to meet you.” He tries a smile.

He watches Zayn trace the lines of his face, nodding slightly before replying “Yea, you too.” He feels his face heat.

“How was your trip?”

“It was fine, thank you.”

“I hope everyone has been nice? I know granny can seem a bit much but she means well –most of the time…” He looks up at that, he isn’t entirely sure how to characterize or explain his grandmother.

Zayn’s lips quirk at that. “Yea, I picked up on that.”

Harry smiles at his response, somewhere in the back of his mind his brain tells him that this wedding thing might just workout. Not many people understand his grandmother. Harry’s learned it’s best not to try to understand her, but instead to understand that she simply is as she is.

“So, I know this is weird and probably not ideal but-“

Zayn cuts him off before he can say anything else, shaking his head and standing. “-Can we not do this?”

Harry’s at a loss, his mouth gaping slightly “I just thought since this is happening maybe you -we –I could talk about this?” he hates himself for stammering.

“You don’t have to explain anything Harry. I know what this is. I’d rather not talk in circles and if you’ll excuse me I’d like to get some rest, early morning tomorrow right?”

Harry nods once and Zayn takes it as his cue to go, following the same stone path.

Harry doesn’t know what to do. Does he follow Zayn? Make him stay and listen to what he has to say? No. That’d be uneventful and Zayn would be even more agitated than he already is and Harry gets it, he does. They’ve only just met and they’re expected to marry sometime within the next six days, so Harry stays sat and opts to watch him go instead.

He figures it’s the best option but like most things these days, it still doesn’t feel right. He feels lost and he hates it. He’d come here under the pretense of gaining some control over the situation and instead he’s been left even more befuddled than before he arrived. He isn’t one to give up though, and he figures the best place to start is to get a handle on what he does know.

One. Zayn is an Omega.

Two. There hasn’t been a known Omega in over 40 years

Three. They’re rare –obviously- he rolls his eyes at himself as he continues to count using his finger.

Four. They have the ability to shift in and out of wolf form, unlike other werewolf’s who are at the mercy of the moon -Harry included.

Five. A marriage alliance between an Alpha and an Omega ensures that their respective packs receive the Omega’s ability to shift at will.

Six. Countless Alpha’s and packs would kill –literally and figuratively- for the chance to attain the ability.

Seven. That puts a target on Harry’s back.

Eight. Zayn has probably lived his life trying to hide what he is.

Nine. He and Zayn are to be married within the next week.

With a digit still standing he runs out of points, he looks down at his fingers and shrugs. Not bad. So Harry understands the time constraint, he understands why he needs to marry Zayn, he understands the risks and he understands the worth, he understands why Zayn would be uncomfortable or why he needs his space. And he’s doing his best to accommodate but he can feel his patience slipping, can feel his anger rising, complaints and accusations on the tip of his tongue.

--

Harry can feel his eyelids fighting to separate, willing his eyes to open. Groggy and exhausted he stares at his ceiling before pushing himself up and crossing his torso to get a view of his clock. 3:52 AM. He groans, letting his body drop back down to the bed with a thud. He’s still has about an hour before he has to meet his granny and Zayn in the garden. He closes his eyes, all but praying for sleep to return but to no avail, he gives up then and opts for tugging on a pair of shorts and his trainers to go for a run in the hopes that it’ll release some of the tension he’s built up over the last two weeks.

He’s circled the compound twice when rustling on the outskirts of the adjoining woods opposite of the garden catches his eye; slowing his pace he follows the sound. He stops dead in his tracks when he sees Zayn. Through the brush and the moonlight Harry can just make out his shoulders tracking through the woods but he watches until he stops and strips his shirt off. The moon’s light hits his skin and illuminates his silhouette. Harry finds himself wishing the sun was out so that he could get a better view but he settles for his silhouette, watching as Zayn’s torso half bends in a motion Harry assumes is him removing his shoes before he bends completely out of view. When he resurfaces Harry’s breath catches in his throat, not because he sees more of Zayn -but because his for has evolved completely. He’s no longer a man but a wolf –black and sleek, his fur glistening so black it shines silver in the moons reflection. And that’s new to Harry – he’s never watched someone turn before his very eyes. When he was younger before his first shift his parents would make sure he was no where near once they turned, and once he was old enough to shift himself he was too preoccupied with the pain to focus on anyone but himself, to this day he prefers to turn alone. So now, as he watches Zayn he’s completely mesmerized. He’s never seen black fur either greys, browns, and whites are most common in his pack. The black is startling, tantalizing. When Zayn breaks into a sprint, past Harry’s line of vision he turns back himself, running another two laps, giving him enough time to shower and meet Zayn and his grandmother. He wonders briefly whether Zayn will make it back in time.

Once Harry makes it to the garden he’s surprised to see Zayn sat in the same position as yesterday. He tries very hard to ignore the way his heart flutters. The duration of his morning run, shower, and commute to the garden was spent thinking about Zayn. Not in the obligations surrounding them both -but in him, who he is, what he thinks, why he was out this morning, what it’s like to shift in and out of wolf form, if it’s painful. He’d been so caught up in trying to ignore they’re situation that he’d lost sight of the reality of another person, forgot to wonder what Zayn would be like, if they would get along, or even what he’d look like. And since earlier this morning it’s all clumsily crashed into his mind.

His grandmother hasn’t arrived, he’d be surprised but it’s probably a trap knowing her so he takes a seat next to Zayn on the bench.

“Good Morning” Harry tries his luck at conversation.

Zayn turns his way slightly “Morning”

“Have you been up long?”

Zayn shrugs. “A little over an hour. You?”

“Same.” Harry nods. Zayn looks a bit surprised at that but he doesn’t comment on it.

“Do you know what we’re doing today?” Zayn asks instead as he looks over at him.

“Definitely fasting, but I’m not sure about anything else.”

Zayn nods. “Shouldn’t be too difficult.”

“Maybe. I’ve never fasted before.” He tilts his head.

“I have. It’s hard at first but once you get used to the idea it’s not so bad.”

He nods at that, taking his word before taking the opportunity to change the subject. “So I was thinking about yesterday and I want you to know that if -or when you’re ready to talk I’m here. I should’ve given you space yesterday, I didn’t mean to impose this is all just new to me. I guess.”

“It’s cool.”

Harry’s brow furrows at his response, at a loss. What does Zayn want? Here he is, extending an olive branch only to have it seemingly snatched from his hand. He feels yesterday’s anger bubbling in his stomach but instead of acting on it he takes a deep breath and resolutely looks anywhere but at Zayn.

When his grandmother appears she’s holding a tray of her infamous muffins. Not bothering with pleasantries she simply says “Eat up boys, it’s all you’ll be having until this time tomorrow.” They both grab a few and dig in, waiting for further instruction.

“You’ll be fasting today and for the following two days as we complete trials and rituals. We’re starting out easy. The only thing on the agenda today besides fasting of course is a purification ritual. Every trial or ritual you complete over the next three days is meant to cleanse you both of the life you knew before each other. You’re both entering a new phase in your life; these trials and rituals are meant to help you discover what gets to stay and what has to go. The life you’re starting together won’t be easy. You have to figure out what’s worth keeping, what’s worth fighting for, and what isn’t. Together.”

“The purification ritual you’ll complete today will be physically symbolic of your new start. We’ll trek six miles off the compound to the river where you’ll both bathe in as I preside over you both and speak a few ceremonial words. Neither of you can speak until we’ve finished and made it back to the compound.” She looks pointedly at Harry.

As a response he whispers, “Shouldn’t be a problem” under his breath to which she simply replies with another look, a point of her finger, and a stern “Harry.”

He raises his hands at her in surrender. His granny is not someone he wants to cross under any circumstance.

 --

They’re trek is fairly uneventful. He offers his grandmother his forearm more than once to assist her during rockier terrain but she lightly smacks at his arm and pushes on. After the fourth time he takes the hint and instead focuses on the forest. It’s quiet and familiar, comfortable in the way only something you’ve known all your life can be. Harry grew up on the family compound and these woods have been his companion since before his first full moon. His parents made sure he and Gemma were well acquainted with the smell of pine and dirt and the feel of twigs beneath their feet long before they knew they’d shift forms.

Once they reach the river they each collapse at the river’s edge. His granny can tell he has a teasing comment on the tip of his tongue and gives him a warning look. Harry gives her a wide, toothy grin in return. When he turns his head he sees Zayn looking at him, his grin melting off of his face at the look of confusion on Zayn’s. They stare at each other for a beat before his granny speaks.

“Alright then, take of your clothes” They both look at her then.

“Get on with it, we haven’t got all day!” She claps her hands together. Harry opens his mouth as if to speak but as soon as he does she yells out “Don’t you speak a word Harry Styles!”

He closes his mouth at that, pouts at her and looks away. He’s starting to wonder whether them not speaking was a necessity for the ritual or whether she implemented that feature herself. Either way, he isn’t willing to be skinned alive for speaking so he does as she says and takes off his shirt, toeing off his shoes and socks before taking off his pants leaving him in his boxer briefs. He sneaks a look at Zayn and seeing he’s followed suit, he fights the urge to stare because Zayn has tattoos, lots and lots of tattoos Harry had somehow missed in the moonlight earlier. The sun shines above them now, displaying Zayn toned, wiry form and while he’s thin, Harry can see the muscle solid and persistent beneath the skin of his arms and stomach. Harry wants to touch him. He wants to trace the tattoos and feel the strength of Zayn beneath his hands. He wonders whether Zayn runs cold or hot. His grandmother pulls him out of his thoughts.

“Briefs also have to go.”

Harry’s eyes widen at that and he instinctively turns to look at Zayn then, because Harry wants to protest. He isn’t shy about being naked, he never has been, but this feels like another breech of their privacy and potential intimacy. He and Zayn are to be married in a couple more days and being forced to undress in front of the other before they’re married –before they’ve even gotten to really know each other- feels wrong. Zayn might frustrate Harry, but he doesn’t want to add to his growing list of grievances either.

He isn’t entirely sure what he hopes to accomplish by looking over at Zayn but it definitely isn’t the shrug he gives Harry as he meets his gaze and starts to pull on his briefs. Harry blanches at that, looks away and up at his granny who raises a single eyebrow at him. At that he follows suit, if Zayn feels comfortable enough not to protest Harry will take his cues from him. He wonders if this would be less uncomfortable if his grandmother wasn’t standing in front of him.

“Nothing I haven’t seen before boys, now get in the river.” They do as she says, getting in waste deep so that they don’t have to cover themselves with their hands. Harry tries very hard not to stare.

Once they’re in they both turn toward the shoreline where his grandmother stands. “Now, before you think about opening you pie holes I’m going to remind you that in order for this to work you can’t speak a word or we have to start all over.” She eyes them both and Harry knows that he isn’t going to like what she says next.

“As part of the ritual you’re going to have to bathe each other -and before you think to ask- let me clarify that you’ll have to pour the river’s water over one another. The water has to touch every part of your skin and seeing as you’re already in waist deep you’ll be responsible for making sure the water reaches parts of the other above the waist. I’m going to gather my things and once he hear me begin the rite you can begin.”

Harry watches her take a book out of the bag that lies across her shoulder; she sits on her knees and opens it up before she begins to read, not bothering to look up before she begins. He feels the shock of the water on his arm first, bringing his attention back to Zayn in front of him. He looks him straight in the eye and Harry feels his body shiver. Not because of the water, but because of the focus in Zayn’s eyes. They seem to say everything he can’t with his voice; ‘Pay attention’ and ‘is this okay’ mixed in with the golden brown of his iris. Harry doesn’t move, just stares, watches as Zayn looks down at the river, scoops water into his cupped hand and pours it higher up his arm. He repeats the motion over and over, letting the skin kiss the skin of Harry’s arms and his torso while Harry stares back at him. He isn’t sure what else he should do, too enthralled by the boy in front of him –too scared to repeat the process in the fear that his movements would interfere with Zayn’s- too scared to break the spell that’s seems to have fallen over them.

Zayn meets his eyes and raises a single finger, making a circular motion with his finger as a means of asking Harry to turn around, he obliges with only a breathe of brief hesitation. He feels Zayn’s hands once he’s turned completely, his heart quickening. They smooth water through his curls and when the water overlaps onto his face he closes his eyes and keeps them that way, feeling the water on the skin of his shoulders, back, and the back of his arms. When Zayn nudges his shoulders to ask him to turn back around his hair is completely soaked in water, he opens his eyes as he turns and is met once again face to face with Zayn, closer than before.

Standing this close he can feel the heat that radiates from Zayn’s skin. He saves that information for later, his breath hitching in his throat as Zayn’s hand reaches up to his face, using his hands to spread water over Harry’s features starting with his forehead, cheekbones, nose, lips, chin, and ending at his neck. Harry stares all the while, watches as Zayn watches his hands working water over Harry’s features. Harry can’t find it in himself to feel self-conscious, can only feel the beating of his heart, the quickening of his pulse and the motion of his breath as his eyes cling to Zayn’s face.

When Zayn steps back and looks at him it takes him half a second to realize that it’s his turn to bathe Zayn. He takes a step closer and begins as Zayn did, scooping water into his cupped hand before letting it run over his arms and his chest. And oh, yea, Zayn has tattoos. Harry runs his eyes over his skin, taking in the wings on his collarbones, the kiss in between them, the animal skull just above it reminiscent of something by Georgia O’Keefe, the script over his right peck, the ‘Friday’ just above it on his collarbone, the skulls on either side of his arms, the flower that starts just below his neck. He feels his eyes racing back and forth trying to grasp each design, wondering briefly whether he’ll ever know what they mean or get to touch them. He thinks he could now but refrains.

He has Zayn turn, using the same motion he’d used on Harry earlier and when his hands meet Zayn’s hair it’s smooth and silky on top, while the shaved sides are prickly under Harry’s hands. Once he’s finished running the water over Zayn’s back and has him turn around he starts on his face, running water over his cheekbones, forehead, and nose. Water slide off the tip on his nose and he sees Zayn’s lips quiver open as water runs down his lips, Harry catches a droplet, nudging his finger into Zayn’s bottom lip. When Zayn closes his mouth the tip of his thumb gets caught in between his lips. Harry looks up at him then, Zayn staring back at him. He wants to kiss him. Wants to feel the heat that radiates off of him -but the hum that had seemed like background music stops and pulls him out of his trance. He takes a step back, pulls his hand from Zayn’s face, checks to see if there’s any dry part of Zayn’s body and when he finds non he looks back toward the shore.

His grandmother smiles back knowingly, her eyes twinkling. She motions for them to come out of the water and they do, reaching for their clothes before putting it back on. Harry doesn’t mind the way it sticks to his wet form, worrying instead with trying not to focus his gaze and attention on Zayn. Once they dress they waste no time in heading back to the compound. No one speaks until they return.

“That’s all from me today. You two are free to speak. I’ll see you in the garden tomorrow, same time.”

As is becoming customary, he watches her go. When he turns to Zayn he finds he’s heading off as well. He contemplates calling after him but can’t bring himself to. Instead, he turns toward the compound, goes straight into his room and sleeps.

He doesn’t speak a word the rest of the day.

--

When Harry gets to the garden the next morning no one has arrived, the only sign someone has been there is the plate of muffins his granny must have set on the bench. He sits down and takes one. He’s on his second muffin when Zayn appears, like Harry he sits down and takes a muffin before he speaks.

“These are amazing.”

Harry smiles at that, nodding his head. He clears his throat before speaking. “Yea, they’re pretty great. Growing up granny’d only make them on special occasions, or when I was ill. It’s a family recipe.” He stops, glancing at Zayn before he continues.

“When I was sixteen I worked in a bakery and I begged her to give me the recipe –I swore I was the world’s best baker- but she refused, said I wasn’t ready. This is probably the first time I’ve had them fresh twice in a row.”

Zayn looks at him. “Have you asked lately?”

“Hmm?”

“If she’d give you the recipe.”

“Oh, no. Not lately. I’ll have to do that.”

It’s probably the most pleasant conversation he’s had with Zayn since he met him. Yesterday, once Harry went back to his room after the ritual he thought a lot about Zayn- in fact it’s all he thought about. He hasn’t stopped trying to grasp the situation but today, right now, he feels like with time everything will work itself out.

His grandmother sneaks up behind them.

“Good morning you two, I hope you’re well rested. On the agenda today are trials of endurance. First, you’ll be taking a similar hike as yesterday but you’ll go 3 miles beyond the river to the outskirts of the nearest town where you’ll find a cabin –Harry knows the one, he’ll lead the way. Once you arrive you’ll be meeting with Alpha’s of surrounding packs who wish to align themselves with you.”

Zayn’s brows furrow. “What does that mean?” He asks to Harry’s left.

“It means they’re looking to pledge their allegiance to the both of you in the hope that they can partake in the benefits of your union.”

“What does that entail exactly?”

“They’ll have to partake in a short ceremony where they’ll recognize Harry as Alpha.”

Zayn’s face screws up at that. “Does that mean they renounce their own title as Alpha?”

She tilts her head backs and forth. “Yes and no. They were born Alpha, no one can take that from them, and they’ll still preside over their individual packs but by partaking in the ritual they are in some manner recognizing Harry as –how shall I put this? Superior?”

Harry blanches at that. He hadn’t even known that this would be a part of the arrangement. He makes a mental not to ask more questions. He looks over at Zayn and notices that he doesn’t look pleased with his grandmother’s words.

--

Harry can tell Zayn’s angry. He can’t figure out exactly why but he figures it’s probably best not to ask, seeing as Zayn hasn’t taken to speaking to Harry as much as he would like, so he wordlessly leads Zayn into the woods, past the river and to the cabin his grandmother directed them toward. Zayn has a good memory though because he doesn’t follow Harry’s lead until they’re past the river and headed into new territory.

Harry is quickly becoming adjusted to being around Zayn –conversation or not- his presence is nice, grounding and steady in a manner Harry has never experienced with another person. As they approach the cabin Harry feels himself smile at his growing appreciation for Zayn’s presence- despite the anger he can feel radiating off of Zayn.

“Something funny?”

“No, not at all.” It’s all Harry gets to say before he’s knocking on the cabin’s door. When his granny opens the door he isn’t surprised, in fact he almost rolls his eyes at the predictability, of course she’s already here. She opens the door, letting them in and they’re immediately met with twelve other forms.

Zayn feels Harry tense at his side before his grandmother speaks.

“Harry, Zayn, this is Jackson, Liam, Akadia, Landon, Louis, Daniel, Niall, Elijah, Jacob, Adoff, Abraham, and Nathan. They’re the representative Alpha’s here to meet and discuss on behalf of their packs.

It’s far too many names for Harry to try to remember but as he looks around at the Alpha’s he recognizes a few names and faces from previous Alpha treaty meetings he’s attended with his father. It’s both a relief and a stress inducer. Harry is quickly coming to realize that this marriage is much larger than just Zayn and him in a matter he hadn’t really allowed himself to think about.

When he turns to look at Zayn he sees his eyes are locked with one of the Alpha’s –Nathan- Harry thinks, remembering he was the last one introduced. Harry looks between them and frowns. Zayn still hasn’t released the tension in his body. He thinks about nudging him to check in and make sure Zayn is okay but remembers that he and Zayn are not quite that comfortable. His frown deepens at that as he thinks how only minutes before he’d been content with the progress he felt he and Zayn were working toward. Seeing Zayn now he realizes that there’s a lot Harry hasn’t discovered about him.

His grandmother interrupts his thoughts as she begins to speak. “As we’ve discussed, you’re all here to partake in a ceremonial ritual to unify each of our packs. I’ve asked Zayn and Harry here as an extension of their endurance trials. Feel free to mingle or ask questions while I adjust the final preparations before we begin the allegiance ceremony.”

With that she makes her way out of the room, heading toward the kitchen. Before Harry gets a chance to turn toward Zayn Niall, an old friend from the meetings Harry used to attend with his father turns to him. His smile is big and genuine and Harry feels the tension in his shoulders lessen at the sight.

“Harry! How are ya?”

“I’m good, Niall. Thank you, how are you?”

“Good, good. Happy to be here! It’s exciting right?”

“It is, yea-” Harry catches sight of Zayn speaking to Nathan out of the corner of his eye, they’re whispering and Zayn looks more uncomfortable than Harry’s ever seen him. “Listen- Niall, I’m sorry, I’ll catch up with you later yea?”

“Sure, no problem” At Niall’s reply Harry heads toward Zayn. Once he crosses the room and reaches him he only hears “-here for you” as Nathan whispers at Zayn.

“Is everything okay?” He asks, instinctively wrapping an arm around Zayn. He watches Nathan’s eyes trail the movement.

“Everything’s fine, Harry.” Zayn speaks first, moving out of Harry’s reach. Harry tries not to let the motion show on his features. Before he can speak again Zayn starts again, motioning toward Nathan with a hand. “This is Nathan –he’s –I- I know him from home.”

“Home?” It’s the first time Harry’s heard Zayn speak of it and the first time he’s volunteered any information about himself. He does frown then; because not for the first time Harry gets the sensation that this is all wrong. Not because he doesn’t like Zayn or because he resents the arrangement but because as much as he tries he doesn’t know Zayn, and he’s starting to question whether he ever will.

--

When his grandmother returns she ushers them out back, where she asks each Alpha to take their pledge. One by one they do, stating their name, status, territory, and finally their allegiance to Harry. One by one they pass a bowl among themselves, slicing at the pad of their thumb to allow their blood to flow into the bowl before mixing in dirt they brought with them from their respective territories. They line up and repeat the process, going to their knee in front of Harry one by one.

Once they’ve all gone through the process his grandmother takes the bowl of blood and dirt, handing Harry a knife she stands in front of him, silently urging him to follow suit. He slices at his hand, blood dripping from his hand into the bowl before he bends down, picks up loose dirt and drops it into the bowl. Zayn stands closer toward the back door, watching silently. It’s a ceremony for Alpha’s so there’s no need for him to partake. His grandmother burns sage into the bowl and with a few closing words spills the mixture back into the earth and just like that it’s done. He looks at the Alpha’s still kneeled before him and then back at Zayn who’s already looking back at him, something angry raging behind his eyes.

Harry mingles with the rest of the Alpha’s before he sees them off, each one promising to be at the wedding. Harry only smiles back at them politely. He feels the past two weeks and the future catching up to him. He thinks about the look in Zayn’s eyes and his heartaches with something he can’t quite place, like everything is too much and not enough. When Nathan approaches Zayn on his way out a familiar ache flares in his chest. It pulls at him until he’s grabbing Zayn’s wrist and announcing to everyone still in the room that they’re leaving. He looks pointedly at Nathan, willing him to challenge him before pulling Zayn out with him.

Once they get to the edge of the woods Zayn tears his wrist out of Harry’s grasp.

“What the fuck was that?!” Zayn’s fuming but he doesn’t stop walking.

The ache in Harry’s chest dulls but it’s still there, like embers burning in a fireplace. He doesn’t back down from the challenge Zayn presents. “I could ask you the same thing.”

Zayn shakes his head. “That’s not the same thing.”

“Isn’t it?!” Harry feels his temper flare.

“No! You’re being a possessive idiot! I’m not some trophy you get to parade in front of people!”

“You didn’t have to be there.”

Zayn huffs a laugh. “Funny, I was under the impression that I did.”

Harry shakes his head a bit. “That’s not what I meant- I just mean that this wasn’t about showing you –or anything off.”

Zayn stops then, and looks him dead in the eye. “Bullshit. Everything about the situation we’re in is about the appearance of power. Don’t flatter yourself into thinking that this is more than what it is.”

That shuts Harry up, and with a final look down he keeps walking. It stings in a manner Harry’s too angry and confused to try to figure out.

By the time they get back to the compound Harry is seething. Because Zayn’s right, he knows he is and it only makes him angrier to realize that this entire time he’s been a pawn in a game he hadn’t realized he’d been forced to play.

It hits Harry then, and he gets it -why Zayn has been so reluctant to speak to him and that thought makes everything seem worse, because Zayn has an image of him that isn’t him at all. It’s a phantom of whoever’s been pulling his strings. He looks at Zayn a final time, meets his gaze and feeling the shame of the image Zayn must have of him looks down and walks away. He thinks he feels Zayn’s gaze follow his movements but it’s probably just the guilt weighing heavy on him.

Harry keeps walking for a long time. He doesn’t stop until dusk catches up to him. He feels like he needs to get it all out of his system -like he needs someone to talk to- but he feels silly, what would he say? Complaining would get him nowhere. There’s nothing he could say that would change anything. He may not have recognized the extent of the power game being played but he was definitely always aware that this arrangement wasn’t brought on by decisions he made himself. He has to recognize that he allowed himself to play into this because he believed it was what was best for his pack and for his family, and if he thinks long and hard enough he knows it’s still the right thing, but why does it feel so wrong? He thinks about Zayn then and about how he must be feeling because if Harry is honest with himself he knows Zayn is the real pawn in this game. All Harry can do is try his best to give him an equal position.

--

Harry wakes exactly fifteen minutes before he has to be in the garden on the third and final day of premarital rituals so he jumps in the shower, brushes his teeth, dresses, and almost forgets his shoes as he rushes out of his bedroom door and jogs to the garden. When he gets there he has two minutes to spare and there’s no one in sight except for two trays, one full of muffins and the other containing some kind of cigarette, a lighter, and a card. He picks up a muffin and the card, Zayn walks in then -the picture of cool and calm as Harry bites into his muffin with one hand and uses the other to read the card.

 Boys,

 As you know, today is the last day of premarital rituals. In order to complete said rituals there is a final ceremony for you to take part in, that being the Rite of Divulgement. The tray containing this card also holds the only two tools necessary for the ritual. The cigarette like instrument is filled with the root of a blue calamus flower, you’re both meant to smoke the root. It works as a truth serum, linking your hearts and minds together. You’re both meant to speak truths to one another as a means of divulging any secrets between you. As you’ve probably figured, I won’t be around today. It’s a fairly simple process and I trust you two will complete it swimmingly! The garden is yours for as long as you need it!

 Love, Granny.

 P.S. There is a signal ending the completion of the ritual, you’ll know it when you see it.

Harry hands Zayn the card as he takes his usual seat next to him on the bench, he takes it and reads it while Harry finishes his muffin.

“So that’s it?” Zayn speaks first.

“I guess so,” Harry nods at him.

Zayn reaches for the calamus cigar. “So we should just get this over with right? It seems simple enough.”

Harry nods at him again, “Yea, might as well.”

Zayn doesn’t seem angry today, relaxed as he digs into the pocket of his black jeans and takes out a lighter of his own rather than using the lighter he’s seen his grandmother light candles with around the compound. He puts the cigar in between his lips, sparks a flame and meets the flame with the end of the cigar, inhaling until the end glows red. He takes a puff, and inhales before releasing smoke out into the air. Harry doesn’t pretend not to stare as Zayn’s head tips back, smoke rising into the air as it leaves his lips.

Zayn hands him the cigar and he takes it, the tips of their fingers touching. Harry’s never been fond of smoking, but he also hasn’t not tried it, so he mimics Zayn by putting the cigarette to his lips and inhaling slowly before he releases the smoke. They pass it between them for a couple minutes, a quiet back and forth.

“I don’t feel any different. Do you?” Harry asks Zayn.

“No, but maybe that’s the point?”

“Yea, maybe we should talk? Like, get on equal footing? I wanted to apologize for yesterday -I shouldn’t have acted that way, it was wrong of me and I really am sorry.”

Zayn shrugs. “It’s kind of part of the territory though isn’t it? Character trait and all that?”

Harry shakes his head. “I mean, I guess? But that doesn’t make it right and I know that this isn’t like, ideal, per say but I really am trying…” He trails off.

Zayn’s looking at him now, “I’m sorry too. I’ve been unfair and closed off and too judgmental to even try to get to know you. It’s just- this is weird yea? I mean I’ve always known this would happen, like not exactly, but I’ve always known what I was- what I am- and getting to live the semblance of a normal life for so long –it just almost felt permanent? Like maybe I wouldn’t have to go through all of this” He waves his hand around. “And like one random day I get a call from my mum saying I need to come home and two weeks later I’m here.” He shrugs.

“I didn’t know either –I mean, about this” he motions at the space between them. “I found out two weeks ago, from my mum too. I didn’t question it though.” He shrugs. “I get what you mean about knowing something is coming, I’ve always had that too but I know it’s nowhere near what you must’ve gone through.”

“Nah, I’m moody and all but I’m not one to dwell on things I can’t change.”

“I am sorry though, yesterday was sobering for me. I’ve been stupid -careless even- and you took the brunt of that.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just like how you said this was all a show of power, I feel like I fell into that without fully realizing the extent of my actions. I could have just as easily been one of the Alpha’s we met yesterday -and there would have been nothing wrong with that- but I don’t want this to feel like a game or an obligation forever. I want to be able to talk to you, to know you –to trust you, you know?”

Zayn nods, the ghost of a smile on his lips. “Yea, I get that. Me too. You probably have some question for me right?”

Harry lifts a single shoulder in a shrug. “Maybe just one.”

“Let me guess: Who’s Nathan?”

As a response Harry nods and looks down at his hands. “I don’t want to force you into telling me anything you don’t want to though.”

Zayn shakes his head, “No. I want to. I don’t know if it’s this” he motions at the cigar in his hands. “Or if it’s just you, but I want to.”

Harry smiles at him. “Okay.”

“So saying he’s no one would be a lie, and we’re being truthful, right?”

Harry feels his smile slip. “Yea, like, for better or for worse. That’s what this is for.” He shrugs, lifting the cigarette to his lips before inhaling.

Zayn watches him. “I’ve never lied to you.”

Harry looks back at him. “Me either.” He hands him the cigarette, they’re closer now, somehow gravitating toward each other. Zayn breaks their gaze as he looks down at Harry’s hand before taking the cigarette, bringing it to his lips.

Harry scoots closer, throws an arm around the bench, watching Zayn as he leans back into it as he exhales. If Harry reached out he could run his fingers through Zayn’s hair. Zayn turns to him, head half hanging from the back of the bench. He’s so close.

“I told you I know Nathan from home, that we grew up together, and we did kind of. His pack and mine are close in quarters. You know how there’s Alpha meetings with surrounding territories and sometime kids tag along?” Harry nods.

“I met him at the only meeting my dad let me go to, I was maybe five, it was before turning age so no one knew or even suspected that I was an Omega. My parents knew of course, and they did everything in their power to give me a normal life for as long as they could.”

“That’s amazing, Z” The words slip out of his mouth as soon as they come to mind. Zayn doesn’t seem to mind, or dwell on the nickname as he smiles at Harry.

“Yeah, they’re pretty great. Dad never wanted to let me go but I remember begging him until he agreed. It was the only time I was ever allowed to go, after that they said it was too risky.” He shrugs, looking straight ahead. “Anyway, I met Nathan then and it was like something clicked, we became instant friends. My parents didn’t like that either –thought me being around his pack or his family was too risky so they agreed that he could visit us – they didn’t like that either, but they knew they couldn’t keep me locked up or disconnected from the outside world. They came up with all these methods to disguise or mask my scent and it worked. When I started university Nathan and I lost touch and it was fine, but we recently came back into contact. It was different then, it felt heightened, like we were on the edge of something, there was a part of me that wanted him- to know him in a way I’d never wanted to know anyone but it felt wrong too, because he didn’t know me in the way that I knew him.” Zayn looks over at Harry then.

“There was a part of me that hoped he would catch on without me saying anything –that maybe we could be something else- if he just figured it out. But then my mum called and the rest as they say, is history.” He smiles then and Harry feels his heart drop into his stomach.

“Yesterday, when I saw him at the ceremony it all came back and I freaked out. It hadn’t occurred to me that he would want to be apart of everything.”

“I heard him say he was hear for you?” Harry speaks then, remembering the urgent whisper.

“Yea, like, to support me. I haven’t spoke to him since my status has been out in the open, he was angry and worried about that too cause I hadn’t been in contact.” He shrugs.

Harry nods at that, looking down. He can understand that. But his heart is still in his stomach and he has to know- “Are you in love with him?”

Zayn doesn’t hesitate. “No.” Harry looks up then, his heart settling back in his chest, burrowing there with hope for the future.

When Zayn chuckles Harry’s brows furrow. “What?”

“Nothing, it’s just –I thought I did- love him, I mean, but when you asked I knew instantly that I didn’t -that I don’t.”

“Are you sure then?”

“Positive.” He motions toward the cigarette. “Must be this. I’m glad for it though.”

“Me too.” Zayn looks at him then and Harry feels his stomach flip for a different reason.

Zayn opens his mouth as if to speak but lifts the cigarette to his lips instead, inhaling deeply. Harry watches the cigarette burn out, watches Zayn’s head tip, his eyes closed. When he tips his head back up he fixes Harry with a look and opens his mouth again. “I think- I think I could love you, Harry Styles.”

Harry smiles bright and blinding. “Me too, Zayn Malik.” He slinks closer, brings a hand up to Zayn’s face as he looks him in the eyes, tipping his head closer to Zayn’s slowly as if to warn him. Zayn doesn’t move until Harry kisses him, sinking into the kiss. It’s soft and slow and Harry feels like his heart might give out with how much motion it seems to be undergoing.

When they pull apart Harry keeps his eyes closed, his forehead resting against Zayn’s, a smile on his face. When he opens them his eyes meet Zayn’s and he watches as his eyes turn from a their natural amber to a bright, glowing gold.

“You’re eyes-“ Zayn speaks first.

“Yours too” It last another half second before they fade back to their original colour.

Harry kisses him again then -not because they’re engaged, not as part of a ritual or a ceremony, not for his gran, or for his pack- but for himself, because he wants to.

--

They decide to wait a day before proceeding with the wedding ceremony. Harry’s gran is pleased, turns out she’d left Zayn and Harry alone in order to make wedding arrangements and an extra day of planning gives her more time to prepare.

They spend the day before the wedding together, Harry giving Zayn a tour of the compound because apparently Zayn hadn’t wandered farther than his room when he didn’t have to meet Harry and his gran.

When the day arrives Harry is more excited than nervous. He stares at himself in the mirror for what feels like hours. He and Zayn had agreed not to see each other until the ceremony and he feels giddy at the thought of seeing him again. He feels silly and light and happy.

The ceremony is beautiful. It quite literally takes Harry’s breathe away. His granny had the center of the compound cleared and decorated, white flowers lining every inch of space. He and Zayn had met in a corridor before walking out onto the open floor together, parting to ascend the parallel staircases before meeting at the top again. Harry remembers thinking how that –them suspended above their guests- was another subtly show of power but he couldn’t be bothered with complaining, too busy being happy.

The ceremony is over quickly enough, after which they congregated with their family and guests. There’s a lot of people Harry doesn’t know and he’s surprised by the number of people in attendance, smiling and saying hello to anyone and everyone. He meets Zayn’s family then and he breathes a sigh of relief when they get along almost instantly, he doesn’t think he’s ever smiled so much in his life.

And Zayn looks so beautiful Harry forgets that it didn’t all start with them.

--

It sinks back in a week after they’re been married because everything is so good between them that naturally, Harry starts to panic. The guests are gone, ceremonies and rituals over, and their settling into their new life, cuddled on a couch watching a 90’s rom-com when Harry looks at Zayn and it hits him. That he could do this –have this for the rest of his life- and be perfectly happy because the more he learns about Zayn, the more he listens to him, the more he watches him, the more he feels himself falling and it scares him. He’s afraid that as quickly as Zayn fell into his life he’ll fall out of it so he pulls back, tries to gauge their relationship, does his best to keep Zayn at arm’s length, careful of his words and his actions in his attempt not to drive Zayn away. They go on that way for a week before Zayn confronts Harry about it. He’s convinced him to hike to a clearing of the forest, under the pretense of helping Harry get a hang of comfortably shifting in and out of wolf form, now that he has the capability.

They’ve just pushed past the first line of trees when Zayn turns to Harry. “Why have you avoiding me? And please don’t say you aren’t. You’ve been distant for a week now -and it took a lot of convincing to get you to come out here with me- and even now you won’t look at me or get closer than a couple feet. ”

Harry cringes. “I- not intentionally? Or maybe a bit? I just- everything has been so great that like, I didn’t want us to revert back to feeling like this was an obligation?”

Zayn steps closer to him, his voice gentle. “Harry, we’re married, we do have an obligation to each other. It doesn’t have to be a bad thing.”

He nods. “I know, yea, but not like- there are still parts of you that are you and only yours to give or share and- I can’t- I don’t want to force anything.”

“Do you mean sex?”

Harry’s mouth goes dry. “I mean, not specifically but I guess it falls under the same umbrella? I just don’t want to overstep. I want you to be comfortable.” He sighs. “I just really want to do this right and I thought that giving you space would help. So much of this was a product of someone else’s actions and if I’m honest I guess I’m scared of what we look like beyond that because I want this, Zayn. I want you and I want everything that happens from here on out to be about us, not because someone else thinks we should act or be a certain way, but for me and you.”

Zayn smiles at him, steps even closer, only an arms length away. “You’re sweet you know that? I’ve known it since the day we met and every day since then you’ve only proven me right. But I’m not going to break. This is real for me too, for better or for worse yea?” He reaches for Harry’s hand.

Harry smiles back at him then, takes Zayn’s hand in his and intertwines their fingers. They stay that way until they reach the clearing.

“Ready?” Zayn looks at him, eyebrows raised.

Harry nods. “Nervous, but yes.”

Zayn nods back. “That’s normal, though, it took me months to really get comfortable shifting back and forth. You’ll be fine, promise.” He reaches up to peck him on the lips.

“It’s painful though, right?”

“At first –but from what I’ve been told and from what I’ve read it isn’t anywhere near the same as the pain you go through on a full moon. And it gets easier the more you shift in and out of form. I’ll go first, of course, and if you’re not comfortable trying today we can try another day.” At that he slips off the backpack he’d had slung across his shoulders filled with extra clothes.

Harry trails the movement, watches as Zayn toes off his shoes, before reaching for the end of his shirt. He speaks then to combat his staring. “This feels like déjà vu.”

Zayn pauses. “Yea?”

“Yea, the day after we met I couldn’t sleep so I went for a run and I saw you in the woods –like I didn’t see anything but your silhouette- but I watched you turn and of course there was later that day at the river when we had to –you know- for the ritual..” He’s rambling, Zayn looking up at him from beneath his lashes, a hint of a smile on his face.

“Yea?” He repeats the word at Harry, his voice significantly lower, softer. Harry swallows and tries not to blush.

“It didn’t look painful…”

Zayn pulls his shirt off, shrugging. “There’s a slight discomfort but it only lasts a couple seconds, I’ve been doing it for so long.”

Harry nods, not quite meeting Zayn’s eyes.

“So I usually like to get into a bit of a crouch and just focus on wolf form, you can feel the bones start to shift if you just concentrate.” He unbuttons his jeans, pulls them down and in one quick motion he pulls his jeans and pants down. Harry only sees a quick flash of skin before all he sees is a black wolf. He smiles, instinctively reaching out to feel Zayn. It’s just as soft and silky as he thought it would be. In an instant Zayn shifts back, Harry’s hand falling into the air. Zayn stands in front of him, so close Harry can see the speck in his eye.

“Hi.” Zayn smiles at him.

“Hi, babe.” Harry reaches his hand up to Zayn’s face. “I’m gonna kiss you now.” And he does, slowly at first, like every other time they’ve kissed. It doesn’t last though, turning urgent as Zayn opens his mouth, Harry’s hands trailing down to Zayn’s waist, feeling the lean muscle beneath his smooth skin, pulling him closer as Zayn’s hands make it into his hair. When he tugs at it Harry groans into his mouth. Zayn pulls back at that, his eyes dark.

“Take me home?” Harry grins at his suggestion, bites his bottom lip.

 Zayn dresses quickly, Harry glancing between him and the trees. They all but run back to the compound, holding hands, pulling at each other and giggling into kisses, thankful that the clearing isn’t too far out.

When they reach the compound they stop at Harry’s room. As soon as Harry closes the door Zayn pushes him against it, connecting their lips in a kiss. He pulls back, kisses down Harry’s neck, his fingers working over the buttons over Harry’s shirt. When he gets them undone he steps back, pushes the shirt over Harry’s shoulders before bringing them down to Harry’s torso. He traces the antennae’s there, smiling up at him. “I like this one.”

Harry smiles back at him, wraps his head around the back of his head, and tips it up to meet him in another kiss. “I like you.” He mumbles at his mouth.

He pulls at the hem of Zayn’s shirt, pulling it up over his head before pushing him down onto the bed. He meets him there, lays between his legs, licking at the tattoos Zayn has adorning his clavicle, presses a kiss to the lips there before moving further down his body. He unbuttons Zayn’s jeans, pulling them down. Zayn helps him, kick them off, lifting up off the bed to meet Harry in a kiss before he flips them back around so Harry’s on his back. In this position he wastes no time discarding Harry of his jeans, putting a hand at Harry’s bulge he looks at Harry from under his eyelashes before pulling down his briefs, grabbing Harry’s length in his hand. Harry hisses at the contact watching as Zayn stokes him up and down. He smirks up at Harry, licking it from base to tip before wrapping his lips around Harry.

“Fuck, Z.” Harry fights the urge to buck his hips as Zayn bobs his head between his legs, sucking tightly and swirling his tongue around the tip. When he feels himself hit the back of Zayn’s throat he throws his head back, cursing up at the ceiling. Regaining some composure he calls for Zayn and pulls him up into a kiss before flipping him onto his stomach. When Harry moves around him to his bedside table to grab lube and a condom Zayn lifts his head off of the bed.

“You don’t have to” he motions toward Harry’s hand where he has lube and a condom.

“You’re sure?”

“Yea, like, I’m clean and character traits.” he shrugs, a grin spread across his lips. Harry curses at that “Fuck, yea.” Harry moves behind him, slips his briefs over his ass before pulling Zayn’s cheeks apart. “So wet, look so good.” He plants a kiss on his left check, passes a finger over his rim. Zayn groans, pushes his hips up further. It’s all the encouragement Harry needs to push a finger in, smirking at Zayn’s whine. They stay that way, Harry working up to three fingers, Zayn pushing himself back onto them. When Harry curls his fingers, hitting Zayn just right he moans. “I’m good, H. Want to feel you.” Harry pulls his fingers out slowly and Zayn hisses at the sensation. Harry turns him back over then, Zayn’s legs on either side of his hips. He lines himself up, nudges at Zayn’s rim, bends down and catches his lips in a kiss as he pushes in. They both gasp at the sensation. Harry’s still for a second, feels how tight and wet Zayn is for him. “We’re good.” At Zayn’s cue Harry starts to move, Zayn’s hands are everywhere then, as Harry moves in and out of him, his own hips lifting to meet Harry’s thrusts.

Harry feels a familiar pressure building in his stomach, cueing him to grab at Zayn’s length, twisting his wrist around him in a steady rhythm. “M’close.” Zayn whispers into his neck. Harry moves faster then, building them up to a release. Zayn comes first, spurts of come falling onto his stomach and onto Harry’s hand, Harry comes soon after, riding out his orgasm with his mouth against Zayn’s. He pulls out slowly, reaches a hand out to grab a shirt from his drawer. He cleans at Zayn’s stomach before tossing it into a hamper, falling to Zayn’s side. He smiles at him. Zayn smiles back, presses a kiss to his lips. They lay for a while before Zayn gets up to shower, Harry following close behind.

-- 

It stays that way. Wherever Harry is Zayn isn’t far behind and vice versa. They fall together easily. It isn’t perfect, of course it isn’t. They have to work on it like any other couple, but they choose each other day after day -and it may not be perfect- but sometimes Harry will look at Zayn as he laughs, eyes crinkled, mouth agape, tongue pushing against his teeth and it feels like it is.