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Language:
English
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Published:
2014-01-06
Updated:
2014-01-06
Words:
1,201
Chapters:
1/2
Comments:
7
Kudos:
36
Bookmarks:
7
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573

MIGHTY LOVE NOODLE

Summary:

TG: have you and distri danced the buttock jig
TG: the rumble inthe jugnle
TG: the funky chiken
TG: hav u touhched his ninja rod roflf
GT: Egad!! Roxy i can assure you my fingers have gone nowhere near mr striders crotchal vicinity!! *wrings at kerchief with perspiring mitts*

Notes:

this is just very silly

Chapter Text

GT: I accidently dropped my guns so in the end i had to fight the skeletal rapscallion with nothing but my bare fists!!! It was incredibly exciting and i must say im becoming quite the skilled wrestler.
GT: Dirk also says ive been improving but of course thats very much thanks to him as weve taken the habit of getting into friendly fisticuffs a lot lately!
TG: ‘friendly fistticufs” he says.....
TG: lmoa
TG: sooooooooo jakeyyyy.....
TG: i was wonderin.....
TG: hows teh dirk thign goin ;))))
GT: Oh my... *loosens collar a bit.*
TG: i wanna kno aaaaall the jucy details
TG: *juicy
TG: have u bois done the frickle frackel yet ;))))
GT: Um... *fumbles for kerchief.*
GT: Im not entirely sure i understand what youre trying to ask me here miss lalonde. *looks around nervously.*
TG: lol jaje you cant just act all naiive n then roleplya actions that imply u kno exatctly what im askin ya
TG: have you and distri danced the buttock jig
TG: the rumble inthe jugnle
TG: the funky chiken
TG: hav u touhched his ninja rod roflf
GT: Egad!! Roxy i can assure you my fingers have gone nowhere near mr striders crotchal vicinity!! *wrings at kerchief with perspiring mitts*
TG: spoilspot :(
TG: *sport
TG: btu have you guys made out and shit
TG: lol wait yuo dont have to answr that ive seen u make out with dirk
TG: or shoudl i say ive seen dirk
TG: give u head ;)
GT: Now roxy i would be very grateful if you refrained from alluding to that specific incident since having to kiss my best bros severed noggin is not something i *particularly* enjoy thinking about...
GT: Honestly im still rather upset over that.
TG: soz i wont talk abtou the headsnog anymore then
TG: from now on im miss zuiperpips when it comes to any sort of hyptotheitcal head smooching that mite or mite not haev hapened betweeen u and any heads
TG: *typos
GT: I appreciate it!
TG: but dont think ur escaping this subject mister!!!1
TG: you have kissed dick right
TG: LMAO *DIRK
GT: ...Yes i assumed that was a typo but just for the record my cakehole hasnt approached dirks you-know-what either.
TG: ur cake hole? what abtou your other hole huh wonkwnoknwink
GT: ROXY!!! *gropes for fresh kerchief.*
TG: looolo im on fire today
TG: but enough jokes habve you kissed him or not
GT: ...Me and strider kissing is something that has happened plenty of times yes.
TG: jus t kissig or like the full makeout
GT: Its gotten quite heated up a few times... *glasses fog up.*
GT: A gentleman doesnt kiss and tell though!
TG: thats bullshigt since u just told and i still think yore one hell of a gentleman mr english P*swoosns* <3
TG: u can keep spilling the beans now ;)
TG: is making out teh furtest you 2 hav gone
TG: no inapoppiate curious teenage touchin’??wonwkon
TG: *inappropritate
TG: dirk is an ass man i dotn think he could resist your fleshy globes jakye
TG: has he touced the butt
GT: ...
TG: omggmgggomg he ttly touched the butt
GT: I cant say this relationship has been completely devoid of butt touches no.
TG: im wonkign so hard rite now my eye lids already hurt
TG: haeve u touched his butt as well
GT: Jesus christmas roxy dont you think this is a tad too much information?
TG: gogmgmogmo lol u tottly haveeee
GT: *Loosens collar.*
TG: so let me gte this clear youve touched his butt but not his throbbing meat wand
GT: Yeah theres been some mutual hand-on-bottom contact but thats the furthest our sexual relations have gone.
TG: woooooooo im so proud of you jaje
TG: proprely wooing yor man with subtle bootytouching :’)
TG: the neext step is... some metaphorcal swordfightig
TG: *meta fork lol
GT: Golly... Do you think were ready to take our physical relations to the next level?
TG: thats up to you jakey
TG: dont do anyfing ure not comfortable with ofc
TG: but if you feel ready then go ahead !!! im p . sure dirk has been ready for like 5 years lol
GT: Gosh i dont think id be opposed to a development in that direction?
GT: But how do you suggest i approach this subject with dirk? How should i demonstrate my desire to progress with our experimentations in sexual intercourse?
TG: just go up to him liek with a super serious face
TG: like u mean all srs bizness
TG: and say
TG: dirk........ touch my schlongdoodle.......
TG: he ll just swoon rigtht into your arms while his flacid love truncheon awakes
TG: jusut like in the fics
GT: Cripes roxy i know dirk is my paramour but wouldnt that be a little too forward of me?
TG: lmao jake pleaaaase do you rly think dirk woudl mind if you were “”””too fotward”“””
TG: it wuld probbably only contribute to the stiffnefning of his growing member
GT: You know im all about adventure and bravery but regardless of my eagerness i dont know if i have it in me to go up to him and make a lewd statement such as the one you suggested in a bold and appealing way for frigs flippin sake!
TG: you woudltn even have to be bold and appaling you could say it in the most unsexy of ways and it would still work on dork
TG: he cant resist your manly charms jakester
TG: no one can :/
GT: Oh my... *fumbles for kerchief.*
TG: but i was mainly jokin when i told u to make the aformentionged lewd staement
TG: *aforementioned
TG: you dot even have to say anythig
TG: just the next time ur getting ur mack on and its gettin heated loook him in the poity shades like in a realyly meaaaningful way and hell understand what ure feelin
TG: heell look into your verdant emeralnd eye and understand...
TG: that you want his mighty love nododle
TG: *noodle
GT: I think i prefer that idea it doesnt sound as challenging as telling him straight away that i would fancy him touching my unmentionables...
TG: ok then just make sure that thelook you give him is reaaaallyyyyy meaningful
TG: maybe throw in a wonk or two 2 b exxtra clear
GT: Do not fear miss! My peepers will speak with such passionate eloquence strider wont even know what hit him!
TG: look whos so eager now hehe youre all gung-ho to the max about this mr engligsh
GT: All thanks to the sensational advice you gave me roxy!
GT: Oh i think i hear dirk approaching hes probably finished his usual perimeter check.
GT: I think ill engage him and perhaps suggest a round of fisticuffs. Thats usually how the snogging begins most times.
TG: go get em tiger!!!!
TG: i want all the details after the deed is done
TG: also jake one more thing
TG: if you end up having to mention your love sausage trynot to use words like “unmentiomables” lol
GT: Ill keep that in mind!
TG: good luck n have fun ;)
golgothasTerror [GT] stopped pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]