Archive of Our Own

Benvolio Montague to Rosaline Capulet: you do pre-law right capulet???

Ros: what’s it to you, Montague?

Ben: No need to get defensive. I need a favour.

Ros: of course you do

Ros: what now?

Ros: jfc don’t tell me someone’s pregnant this time

Ben: god i fucking hope not

Ben: so right, my visa runs out in a month. do you know how i could stay in the country?

Ros: you’re here on a visa?

Ben: well, yeah. I’m not really a Montague. I was fostered when I was a kid but since I’ve not been formally adopted and I’m not in the will, I need something to legally stay in the country.

Ros: I didn’t know that. I could take a look and get back to you?

Ros: for Jules’ sake of course

Ros: your boy romeo would never leave her alone if he didn’t have you to distract him

Ben: of course

Ros: right

*

Mercutio Montague to go hard or go capulet: lads party 2night at the capulets u in?

Ben: theres no way we’re being willingly let into that house after last time

Merc: it wasn’t that bad

Ben: you punched juliet’s cousin tybalt in the face and we ended up hiding from the cops for four hours in a fucking bin, merc

Merc: i mean

Merc: HE DESERVED IT

Merc: and they wont even know we’re there juliet and liv are sneaking us in

Rom: jules says if you get caught you take the blame tho

Merc: but we wont get caught bc im a MASTER OF DISGUISE

Ben: no ur not

Merc: tf yea i am

Merc: its a costume party and we’re going as spies my plan is foolproof

Ben: exactly

Ben: you being the fool in question

Merc: ffcking fight me fam

Merc: now nut up or shut up are you coming

Merc: ros is gonna be there too

Ben: and i’d care why?

Rom: ignore him

Rom: just come ben it’ll be a laugh, yeah?

Ben: fine

Ben: a fucking BIN tho merc if you start shit again im gonna deck you and leave you to the police

Merc: why do you always assume that IM the one who’s gonna start shit???

Merc: guys??

Merc: GUYS????

*

Rosaline Capulet to Livia Capulet: what the fuck sis did you sneak the montagues into the party?

Liv: ✔read at 12:13am

Ros: I know you can see this

Ros: liv honestly is that mercutio doing a keg stand in our kitchen

Ros: I’m just gonna say I told you so in advance for when jules’ dad finds out they’re here

*

Romeo Montague to whats longer our dicks or mercutio’s hair?: shIT

Rom: fckifn fuck jles dad just caught me in herr room

Rom: ABORT MISSION

Merc: time to bail?

Rom: def

Rom: shit a brick i cant find ben

Merc: i think i saw him in the kitchen???? ros was shouting at him

Rom: nothing new there then

Rom: how do u know it was her?

Merc: who else yells at benny boy like that

Rom: point

Rom: FUCK FCK IM RUNNING RUN MERC RUN FUCK

Merc: WHERE TO

Rom: ANYWEHRE BUT HERE FUCK

Rom: ok shit i think i lost them but im by the water now where r u?

Merc: not far be therrre in like 4 minutes

Merc: what abt ben tho

Rom: we’ll remember him as a hero

*

Isabella Prince to at least we’re not montagues: ros did i just see ben montague hide in your closet?? Is everything alright?

Ros: it’s fine, just don’t tell anybody we’re hiding him

Ros: im trying to stop jules’ dad from actually committing a murder

Is: I thought you hated him anyways?

Ros: oh I do

Ros: but not that much tf iz

Jul: dads still chasing romeo down the lawn its hilarious

Ros: so much care for ur beloved

Jul: i love romeo thats why im filming it for later ofc

Jul: oh SHIT mercutio just set off firecrackers i think my dads gonna faint

Is: montagues

Ros: Montagues

Liv: c’mon they’re not so bad

Liv: u gotta admit this wouldn’t be half as fun without their annual attempt to give mr capulet a stress ulcer

Ros: ben says thanks

Liv: he’s welcome

Jul: I think I can actually see my dad’s hairline receeding

Is: you lot aren’t normal

Is: this is why im glad me and esc are only home for summers

Ros: u miss us and u know it girl

Ros: get in here if you like we have booze and Doritos

Is: sounds like a party

Is: wait are you sitting in the closet WITH him?? alone???

Ros: don’t you start too

Is: damn girl i;ll leave you to it

Ros: no iz don’t

Ros: iz??

✔Read by Everyone at 3:01am

Ros: i hate you all and ben says that he does too

*

Benvolio Montague to Rosaline Capulet: thanks for the save the other night, if I didn’t say it then

Ben: I owe you one, Capulet

Ros: you owe me two in fact, if you count me looking into your visa. But I’m willing to let one slide.

Ben: thanks??

Ros: You’re welcome

Ben: & thanks for staying with me, you didn’t have to do that

Ros: it’s called common human decency

Ros: you might not have heard of it, being a Montague

Ben: oh come on, admit it. We had fun.

Ros: yeah, because babysitting your drunken ass was the highlight of my weekend.

Ben: I DISTINCTLY remember you laughing. I definitely made you laugh. I wouldn’t forget a sound like that.

Ros: hmnnn

Ros: maybe

Ben: I knew it! So you DO have a sense of humour somewhere in there, Capulet?

Ros: Or maybe you’ve just never been funny until now, Montague.

Ben: so Rosey

Ben: Did you maybe wanna get coffee and explain the visa thing to me in person? I know you mentioned it last night but honestly I was fucked

Ros: I noticed

Ros: And if you promise to never call me Rosey again, I’m free tomorrow afternoon. The coffee shop by the waterfront?

Ben: its a date

Ros: no it’s not

Ben: you’re so easy to wind up, it’s adorable

Ros: fuck off

Ros: and fuck you too for good measure

Ben: half wish you would

Ros: U G H

*

Merc: !!!

Merc: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Merc: ROMEO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Merc: I’LL KEEP GOING DONT THINK I WONT I CAN BE THE MOST IRRITATING PERSON IN THE WORLD YOU IGNORANT SLUT

Rom: im aware

Rom: what do u want?

Rom: jules is here

Merc: I JUST SAW BEN AND ROS TOGETHER!!! TALKING!!! AND SHE WAS SMILING I THINK?????

Merc: I think we have a pod people situation 911 all hands on deck

Rom: WAIT WHAT

Rom: ROS TOLD ME SHE WAS GOING SHOPPING WITH LIVIA TODAY

Rom: that was jules she stole my phone

Rom: THIS IS JULES TELL ME MORE

Merc: idk I was driving past and i saw them and ros was laughing???? out loud???

Merc: and ben was doing that admittedly attractive thing where he ruffles up his hair on purpose

Merc: I THINK HE’S TAPPING THAT???

Rom: merc be respectful thats my cousin ur talking about

Merc: srry jules put my boy on

Merc: HE’S DEFINITELY TAPPING THAT I CANT BELIEVE THE TWO OF YOU ARE CAPULET TRAITORS

Rom: jules says you’re a dickwad

Merc: fair

*

Juliet Capulet to Rosaline Capulet: YOU’RE GOING OUT WITH BEN????

Ros: wait what

Ros: no I’m not

Jul: mercutio saw you guys together

Jul: he said you were LAUGHING

Jul: Ros??

Jul: ROS ANSWER ME ARE YOU DOING A MONTAGUE

Ros: christ alive no I am not!!!!

Ros: we went for coffee. as friends. I’m helping him with his visa application

Jul: sure ;)

Ros: goodnight jules

Jul: no don’t go

Jul: Ros??

Jul: come on we’re like double family now ur gonna marry a montague too

Ros: I’M NOT MARRYING BENVOLIO PISSING MONTAGUE

Jul: suuuuuure, you go on believing that

*

Benvolio Montague to Rosaline Capulet: Romeo said you’d found something new on the visa?

Ros: yeah, I found a loophole. basically if you want to stay you either need to get an actual job, or well, get married.

Ben: huh

Ben: hey

Ben: hey ros

Ben: wanna get married? ;)

Ros: oh for fucks sake

*

Benvolio Montague to Romeo Montague: bro u with jules?

Ben: who am I kidding when are you not

Ben: can u ask her to ask her cousin to unblock my number please

Rom: why did Rosaline block you?

Ben: asked her to marry me

Rom: WHAT THE FUCK BEN

Ben: i mean i only half meant it. Like 60%.

Ben: 78% at most

Rom: AHKDSDLF.DKKJ BEN

Rom: YOU CANT JUST ASK A GIRL TO MARRY YOU

Ben: isn’t that exactly what u did tho

Rom: WE’RE NOT TALKING ABOUT ME HERE

*

Romeo Montague to Verona’s Angels: ben asked ros to marry him for a greencard ffs

Merc: WHAT

Merc: EX-FUCKING-CUSE ME

Merc: BEN YOU WHORE WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR DEAL TO GET MARRIED AT 30 IF NEITHER OF US ARE YET

Ben: jfc romeo can u literally not shut your gd mouth for onCE

Ben: its not like she said yes

Ben: so if you do wanna get married bro im down

Merc: I WILL NOT BE YOUR SECOND CHOICE

Mercut(e)io Montague removed Ben Montague from the chat

Rom: aw c’mon merc be nice

Rom: i don’t think benny boy has ever been rejected before in his life

Romeo Montague added Ben Montague to the chat

Ben: I DIDN’T get rejected fuck off romeo

Ben: its not like i wanted to marry ros anyway

Ben: it was just for the greencard

Rom: sureeeeeeee

Ben: oh fuck you with a cactus too

Rom: nioce

Mercut(e)io Montague renamed the chat ‘2/3 tRAitORS foR CApuLetS’

Ben: very dramatic

Ben: i’d give it a solid 8/10 if it wasn;t for the fact that im not in sodding love with rosaline capulet

Mercut(e)io Montague renamed the chat ‘denial isn’t just a river in egypt’

Benvolio Montague renamed the chat ‘that pun was bad in the nineties and is even worse now you absolute fucking dweeb’

Mercut(e)io Montague renamed the chat ‘Ben has a tiny wiener, and I know cos its been inside me’

Rom: JESUS CHRIST

Ben Montague left the chat

*

Livia Capulet to Rosaline Capulet: hey sis, is there a reason Ben is standing on our porch shouting that he’s sorry?

Ros: bc he’s a dickhead don’t let him in

Liv: I mean, I’m not disagreeing but did he do something specific this time?

Liv: or is this just general anger towards all montagues/men

Ros: both

Ros: prick asked me to marry him

Liv: WHAT

Ros: yeppppp

Liv: fucking montagues

Ros: yeppppppppppp

Liv: okay I’m sending paris out to scare him off

Ros: paris is there???

Liv: . . . . maybe

Ros: I’ll be home soon. If you can in any way set Ben on fire i’d appreciate it.

Liv: on it

*

Rosaline Capulet to Benvolio Montague: you went to my HOUSE?? What the fuck you can’t just do that

Ben: you wouldn’t answer my texts

Ros: well what did you think was gonna happen

Ros: you PROPOSED

Ben: yeah

Ben: I thought you’d be more sympathetic to my need to stay in the country and continue to be a permanent annoyance in your life

Ros: have you ever met a human woman before in your life??? Ever???

Ben: oh come on capulet its just getting married

Ros: well why don’t you marry merc I thought you guys were dating anyway?

Ben: not in a few years now

Ben: and he’s pissed that I asked you first so now i REALLY need you to marry me

Ben: pleeeassseeeee

Ben: pretty please

Ben: imagine my pretty face right now

Ros: I don’t have that good an imagination

Ben: ha-fucking-ha

Ros: why do you want to marry me?

Ben: because you’ve been helping me out and I know we don’t always get on, but I DO trust you

Ben: and you were the first person I thought to ask

Ben: why DONT u want to marry me?

Ros: a) our families would never allow it. B) you don’t love me and I don’t love you

Ben: but think of the advantages. You get to keep ME right here. And we get tax cuts. And couples get better dorms on campus so next year we wouldn;t have to fight for another year in a crummy flat.

Ros: hmmnnn

Ben: I have a good body?

Ros: ohmyfuckinggod

Ros: fine i’ll marry you but we’re NOT doing that

Ros: and I get your car

Ben: no fucking way

Ros: take it or leave it baby

Ben: rosss

Ben: my CAR

Ros: yep

Ben: I hate you

Ros: is that any way to start a marriage now?

Ben:

*

Livia Capulet to at least we’re not montagues: ummm my sister just told me that she’s actually marrying ben what the fuck

Jul: nooooo

Jul: well romeo owes me twenty bucks now

Is: she’s marrying him? But they hate one another? Or am I missing something here?

Liv: oh, she hates him alright

Liv: but I also think she’s totally ready to jump his bones and he’s DEF into her paris told me

Is: so do we have to throw her a bachelorette party now?

Jul: romeo says the boys are planning to throw an actual wedding reception sooo I guess so?

Jul: apparently its this weekend

Ros: did you forget that I can see this???

Ros: and I do NOT want to jump ben wtf livia

Ros: there’s not going to be any bachelorette party OR wedding reception we’re just signing the papers at city hall

Ros: pls don’t make a big deal out of this

Jul: buT YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED ROS

Ros: its a sham marriage

Ros: for a sham relationship

Ros: in this flaming mess that is my life

Ros: wait what do you mean paris says that ben is into me???

Liv: I FUCKING KNEW IT

*

Ros: hey Montague, come and collect your boys

Ben: again?? seriously?

Ros: yep

Ros: they showed up at the house blind drunk like an hour ago

Ros: romeo keeps shouting sonnets while I’m trying to do my tortes hmwk.

Ros: if they’re still here when mr.capulet gets back I take no responsibility for their untimely young deaths.

Ben: I’ll be there in ten

Ben: thanks for letting me know

Ros: thanks for coming

*

Mecutio Montague to Romeo Montague: so we’re throwing ben a wedding party right?

Rom: ofc

Rom: actually im going to try and convince my dad to let us have it at the house

Merc: your parents. willingly have capulets over??

Merc: unrealistic

Rom: I know but this whole feud thing is fucking stupid and im sick of it

Rom: so im hoping that if i can get them together and have nothing go wrong they might start to let it go

Rom: so maybe when they find out jules and i got married they don’t totally lose their collective shit

Merc: YOU GOT MARRIED?

Rom: oh yeah like a month ago

Rom: ben and ros were our witnesses actually

Merc: what the fuck where was I

Rom: unconscious i think

Rom: listen it wasn’t like we had time to plan it. But we do now for ben so lets make up for it now

Merc: okay but *I* get to be best man since i wasn’t even fucking invited to your wedding

Rom: fine

Merc: AND you name your first child after me

Rom: what if it’s a girl?

Merc: Mercutio is totally a gender-neutral name you ass

Rom: fine okay whatever so you’re in for the party?

Merc: yeah okay

Merc: the things I do for you people

Rom: ‘you people’

Rom: we’re literally related

Merc: I meant heterosexuals

*

Rosaline Capulet to Escalus Prince: hey Esc you’re still legally a minister right?

Esc: Er yes I am, why?

Ros: I need you to marry me

Esc: well

Esc: I mean I’m flattered but didn’t you call me an ‘arrogant egotistical asswipe’ when we broke up?

Ros: fuck

Ros: I didn’t mean marry me as in you and me getting married; I mean I need you to literally marry me to Ben. As in be the minister.

Ros: and I mean, you DID leave the country without telling me, so I think calling you an asswipe is justified

Ros: and. I missed you Esc. I’d like it if we could be friends again.

Ros: so, marry me?

Esc: this isn’t going to end well ros

Esc: but damned if I let you do this on your own

Esc: I’m in

*

Ros: I asked Esc, he’ll minister our wedding

Ben: as in Escalus Prince, your ex, son of the police chief, that ‘Esc’?

Ros: do you know anyone else called Escalus?

Ben: well, no

Ben: but I’m pretty sure that he’ll try to murder me before we’re married

Ros: don’t worry, I wouldn’t let him

Ben: aw thanks

Ros: I really want your car

Ben: aaand there it is

Ros: Esc is just a friend now, there’s no need to worry. He’s cool with this.

Ben: yeah alright

Ben: thanks for asking him

Ben: I know that can’t have been easy

Ros: don’t mention it

Ben: thanks anyway

Ros: careful there montague, you sound awfully close to caring

Ben: it has been known to happen on occasion

Ben: stranger things have happened

*

Mercutio Montague to Benvolio Montague: so like

Merc: are you and ros banging now or?

Ben: what no of course not

Merc: well you are marrying the girl mate

Merc: do you even like, know things about her?? bc I’m pretty sure you’re going to need to know her well before you apply for the greencard

Ben: shit

Ben: ur probs right

Merc: and you like her right?

Ben: what?

Ben: where did you get that idea?

Merc: the dopey fuckin look you get on your face whenever she tells you off

Merc: i think you may secretly be a masochist and get off on getting told off

Ben: i do not

Merc: kinky

Ben: fuck off

Merc: do u call her daddy?

Ben: im disowning u

*

Benvolio Montague to Rosaline Capulet: so like, Merc said that I’m probably going to have to know you really well to fool the govt and he’s probably right for once in his life, so

Ben: what do I need to know?

Ros: did you just ask me to summarise everything important about myself in a text?

Ben: yah maybe

Ros: wow you are so bad at this

Ros: I mean I know romeo was the romantic and merc is the stud but i didn’t think you had this little game

Ben: WTF I HAVE GAME

Ben: you want me to lay the moves on you? Cos I got MOVES

Ben: I’ll romance the shit out of you

Ben: by the time I’m done you’ll actually want to marry me

Ros: yeah I’ll believe that when I see it

Ben: oh it is so fucking on

Ben: prepare to be fucking wooed

Ros: and they say romance is dead

*

Benvolio Montague to at least we have good hair: so guys how do you get a girl to fall in love with you?

Rom: I KNEW IT

Rom: YOU FUCKING LIKE ROS DON’T YOU

Ben: no, but she said I had no game so im proving her wrong

Ben: I don’t like her

Ben: I just refuse to be defeated by a capulet

Merc: imagine I put the sure, jan gif here

Rom: so do you want her to like your or not?

Ben: I just want to plan the best date she’s ever been on right now

Ben: so what would you do loverboy?

Rom: I mean technically *you’re* loverboy right now but whatevs

Rom: ros is a classy girl so ur usual techniques wont work

Ben: tf does that mean

Rom: ben u once took a girl on a date to mcdonalds

Rom: or that other time you took another girl to the food court at the mall

Merc: or when you took horatio to the skate park and broke your ankle showing off

Rom: do you need us to go on or

Ben: yeah okay fine i like the simpler things in life i get it

Ben: where do I take someone like ros?

Rom: what does she like?

Ben: idk. shouting at me?? her sister??

Merc: jesus ur marrying her and u don’t even know what she likes to do

Ben: FAKE marrying her thank u very much

Ben: and idk, i guess she likes books? There’s a book fair on this weekend in the city i could take her to that

Merc: good idea

Merc: why did I never get romanced like this?

Ben: bc ur a cheap date

Merc: admittedly true

Rom: jules said that ros’ fave book is mrs dalloway, you could try and find that for her

Ben: cool who wrote that

Rom: dude

Rom: we did it in middle school english

Ben: and how often did we actually go to middle school english, romeo?

Rom: Virginia Woolf. Its by Virginia woolf, perhaps the most famous female writer in history

Ben: okay nerd tone done the sarcasm a bit

Ben: don’t want anyone thinking you’ve gone full capulet now do we

Rom: full capulet?

Ben: scathing and snarky

Rom: you and ros are really made for each other, you know that cos?

Ben: yeah yeah eat my entire ass

Ben: merc, before you even think of it, don’t

Merc: I ALREADY HAVE

Merc: well fuck my shitty slow wifi and also you benjamin

Ben: my name Isnt FUCKING BENJAMIN

*

Benvolio Montague to Rosaline Capulet: so wife-to-be, how do you feel about coming with me to the Annual Verona Book Festival tomorrow?

Ros: what

Ben: you, me, and Virginia Woolf. I sweep m’lady off your feet until you are absolutely and devastatingly in love with me, and I give all of our friends a metaphorical middle finger. You in?

Ros: wait that’s this weekend?

Ros: fuck, I did mean to go but I forgot to get tickets

Ben: luckily I have two :) and all it costs is gracing me with your company for a day.

Ros: fine

Ros: this wont work though, you know.

Ben: we’ll see, beloved

Ros: ugh

*

Rosaline Capulet to Juliet Capulet: JULES OHMYGOD I HAVE A FIRST EDITION MRS DALLOWAY

Jul: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jul: OMG WHERE?? HOW???

Ros: I was with ben at the book festival and there was one for sale and it was like $1000 and I was just looking but when we got back to the car he just?? gave it to me????

Ros: I don’t know how he could afford it but he bought it for me and im mad bc I don’t want to owe him anything but on the other hand

Ros: A FIRST EDITION, JULES

Ros: and now I don’t know what to do about it

Jul: ‘it’?

Ros: him

Jul: oh

Jul: OH

Jul: holy shit you like ben!!

Ros: I don’t know anymore jules

Ros: he was like a different person while he was there.

Ros: I mean, he obviously doesn’t know jack shit about Virginia woolf and was pretending that he did to impress me, but he also came and listened to talks he couldn’t have enjoyed all day and then bought me the book. And when we were there he was talking to people at the art stalls and bought a book on frank lloyd wright and that wasn’t a lie I don’t think?? He actually seemed interested in the art??

Ros: I guess I don’t know much about him, either

Jul: so ask him

Ros: couldn’t you just ask romeo for me?

Jul: sure, if you wanna take the easy way out

Jul: but that isn’t you, Ros. I’m saying this bc you’re my cousin and I love you, but you haven’t really given any of the boys a chance because they’re montagues. They’re not their parents. they’re actually good people.

Jul: I know you think what me and romeo did was too much too young, but I love him. And he wasn’t who I thought he would be, either.

Jul: just promise me that you’ll think about it

Ros: yeah, okay. I promise.

Ros: jfc when did this become my life

Ros: fucking montagues

Jul: you might be soon enough

Ros: JULES

*

Rosaline Capulet to Benvolio Montague: so I just wanted to say thank you for the book, and for the other day. I’ll admit you’re not an entirely terrible date.

Ben: score!

Ben: for real tho, you’re welcome, ros.

Ben: I mean you are marrying me.

Ben: a book is nothing compared to getting to stay with my family

Ros: you care about them a lot, don’t you? Romeo and Mercutio?

Ben: of course I do. they’re my boys. Even when I had no one I had them. They might not be my family by blood, but they are in every other way that matters.

Ben: I honestly don’t know where I’d be without them

Ros: I feel the same about Livia and Juliet

Ros: do you ever think that we all could have been that way, if it weren’t for our parents?

Ben: Maybe. I’ve never really thought about it. Things just always were the way they were with our families.

Ros: yeah

Ben: yeah

Ros: you keep on surprising me, montague

Ben: in a good way or a bad way?

Ros: wouldn’t you like to know

Ros: I do think I’d have liked having you guys around when we were growing up, though. I used to envy you so much, did you know that?

Ben: What? Why??

Ros: you got to be so free! Growing up with Juliet’s dad being so overprotective, there wasn’t always opportunities for us to run around the city like you got to. I used to see you guys from my window sometimes, just riding those stupid skateboards down the street when we were teenagers, or driving your car through town, and I wanted to be out there with you

Ros: shit that was probably a stupid thing to admit

Ben: I don’t think it’s stupid at all.

Ben: & I could always teach you how to skate now, ros

Ros: I don’t have a death wish thanks

Ben: ahaha. its never too late to build bridges, capulet. Isn’t that what we’re doing now?

Ben: I mean with romeo and jules, of course

Ros: right yeah, of course

Ros: I guess so

Ben: can I ask you a personal question?

Ros: depends on the question

Ben: is that why you want my car? What you said about me getting to be free?

Ros: maybe, I guess

Ros: mostly it was just to piss you off

Ben: at least you’re honest about it

Ben: I appreciate that

Ros: but you might have a point. It would be good to know I have a way to get out if I need to, and I can get more places in a car than I could by sneaking out like we did when we were teenagers

Ben: if you ever need a ride, you can call me. I’ll be there.

Ben: and don’t get pissed bc I don’t know what your whole situation is so I won’t make any assumptions, but. I get what it feels like to need to get away. Our house wasn’t always the happiest of places. So if it ever gets to the point that you need an escape route, well, you’ve got my number

Ros: and I’ll have your car :)

Ben: expert deflection. Nice!

Ros: thank you, though.

Ros: for real

Ros: I appreciate you offering at all

Ben: so m’lady, do I get to take you out again sometime?

Ros: I’d say your chances are looking good

Ben: Night, Ros

Ros: Goodnight Ben

*

Mercutio Montague to Ben’s Bitches: ben did you spend ur vacation money?? I just got a call from the travel agency saying u cancelled ur booking??

Ben: yeah guys im sorry about our trip

Ben: I used the money for something else

Ben: you guys still go though, i’m good here

Rom: but ben we’ve been planning our holiday for months

Rom: what the hell did you spend all that money on

Ben: nothing

Merc: bull and shit

Merc: u know we’ll find out eventually just tell us dude

Ben: i spent it on a book, okay?

Ben: listen its not a big deal, i’m sorry about cancelling our plans but i cant afford both right now

Merc: A BOOK??

Merc: ben when tf did you last willingly read a book

Rom: wait shit dude u didn’t buy ros that expensive book jules told me about did you??

Ben: i might have

Rom: fucking hell ben

Rom: you spent your ENTIRE savings on a book for ros?

Rom: shit dude u got it bad

Ben: I didn’t do it expecting anything, c’mon im not a total douchebag

Ben: i just saw her face when she was looking at it

Ben: it means more to her than any stupid holiday could do to me

Merc: ohhh boyyyyy u got whipped

Ben: im flipping u off rn

Rom: you really like her, don’t you?

Ben Montague: ✔read at 4:57pm

Merc: shit dude

Merc: our baby boy all grown up and in love

Merc: its like we’re simon and pumba from the lion king and he’s simba off making eyes at the pretty lioness

Romeo: why are you like this?

*

Benvolio Montague to Rosaline Capulet: so I forgot to ask you something at dinner tonight babe

Ros: babe?

Ben: keeping up appearances.

Ben: Would you prefer sugar? Sweetheart? Pumpkin? Light-of-my-life?

Ros: I will literally pay you to stop

Ben: I’ll stick with beloved then

Ben: so, my Big Question

Ben: why Mrs Dalloway?

Ros: ???

Ben: Why is it your favourite?

Ros: oh

Ros: I just liked it when we were studying it, I guess.

Ros: It was back when we lived in Fort Capulet and were never allowed out. I liked the idea of a woman making her way through the world like that. And about seeing that world differently. It was a story not told by a man for once, too, so that helped.

Ros: why Lloyd Wright?

Ben: how in the hell did you even notice that? I didn’t think you saw me buying that.

Ros: I pay attention

Ben: ayy you see something you liked? :P

Ros: so not gonna work. I answered your question, so spill.

Ben: I wanted to be an architect when I was a kid, its that simple.

Ros: what made you stop?

Ben: who said I did?

Ben: fine, so mr montague advised me to take an interest in the family company so I could keep watching romeo’s back, but that doesn’t mean I stopped liking architecture. That’s why I bought the book. I can still enjoy learning about it, even if it’s just for the sake of enjoying it.

Ros: you could still be an architect, if thats what you wanted to do. Who cares what mr montague wants you to do?

Ben: you wouldn’t say that if you’d been living in his house for fifteen years

Ben: aha it’s all good, ros. I still get to enjoy art, but I don’t mind being here with the boys. It might not be what I dreamed, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad, either.

Ben: its not half-bad here in Verona, sometimes. At least the company is good

Ros: you’re still so full of surprises

Ben: I live to impress

Ros: for the record? If you love something, I don’t think you should ever really give up on it. Not if it’s that important to you.

Ros: if you ever change your mind and want to be an architect, I know people at the university who could help hook you up over there.

Ben: I’ll keep it in mind

Ben: Thanks for telling me about Mrs Dalloway :)

Ros: Thanks for telling me about architecture :)

Ben: we’re sickening

Ben: So, coffee on Thursday?

Ros: yeah, why not

*

Juliet Capulet to Rosaline Capulet: oh boy ros theres something you should probably know

Jul: romeo was just telling me that ben cancelled this trip he’d been planning for months with the boys to pay for mrs dalloway

Ros: you’re joking

Jul: i’m not

Ros: but why?

Jul: i don’t know. romeo didn’t either.

Jul: I think that’s something you should ask ben

Ros: I intend to

*

Rosaline Capulet to Benvolio Montague: What’s your angle, montague?

Ben: hey, what’s wrong Ros?

Ros: you!!

Ben: I don’t understand.

Ros: Jules said that you paid for my book with money for a trip you’d been planning for months. It is true?

Ben: yeah but I don’t get why you’re mad at me for it

Ros: I never asked you to do that

Ben: you never had to

Ros: but what do you want for it?

Ben: want? nothing.

Ben: I could just see how much it mattered to you

Ros: nobody does anything for nothing

Ros: especially not Montagues

Ben: Oh, so I’m just a Montague again now am I?

Ros: You are when you’re lying to me

Ben: it wasn’t a lie!

Ros: you lied about it being nothing. I don’t know what you’re planning here, but I don’t want a part of it. I’ll have Jules return the book, and you don’t have to marry me, your car isn’t worth it. I’ll send you the visa extension form.

Ben: and that’s it?

Ros: what else is there?

Ben: absolutely nothing

Ben: have a nice life, Capulet

*

Benvolio Montague to RM and the Boyz: i got alchol if u wnt in

Ben: im a the waterfront

Rom: shit ben are you drunk?

Ben: barely

Ben: u comin?

Merc: we’re on our way ben just stay there until we get there

Merc: what the fuck happened?

Ben: fucking capulets, man

Ben: i fcing fuckin loved her, i thught. i thought i did. but she hates me and im fucked.

Rom: ros doesn’t hate you ben

Ben: yh she does

Ben: she’s probly right to

Ben: fuck

Merc: ben stay where you are we’re almost there, okay? we’ll be right with you buddy.

Ben: yeh. Maybe.

Rom: Ben whatever happened, you got us. You’ve always got us.

Merc: I can see you

Ben: heeeeey

Merc: shit, dude

*

Romeo Montague to Juliet Capulet: shit jules what the fuck did ros do to ben???

Jul: do to ben? what do you mean?

Rom: I mean he’s smashed and keeps talking about how he’s fucking worthless again, and in all those words is her name. What did she do?

Jul: who says SHE did anything?

Rom: ben’s a fucking mess

Rom: and he’s been mooning over her for a month now, so yeah, I think she did something

Jul: it’s the anniversary of Ros’ parents deaths this weekend

Jul: you leave her alone,, i mean it romeo

Jul: or did you forget that it was YOUR cousin who killed them in the accident?

Rom: I’m sorry, Jules. I forgot that was this weekend.

Rom: I cant stand seeing Ben like this, tho. He says she just turned on him out of nowhere.

Jul: I forgive you romeo, I know how u feel. I hate seeing Ros like this too. Tell ben that it’s not his fault, not really

Jul: she always gets like this around the anniversary. Isolates herself.

Jul: this may be my fault, too

Rom: how?

Jul: I told her about Ben using his holiday money for the stupid book.

Rom: and that would make her hate him????

Jul: it would make her wonder what he’s really after. Listen, it’s not my place to talk about really, but ros has this thing about owing people and what they’re really after. She doesn’t believe people offer help for nothing.

Jul: its my dad’s fault for how he was after taking her and liv in

Jul: god i fucking hate this whole thing sometimes

Rom: me too, babe

Rom: I love you so much, you know that right jules?

Jul: yeah, me too

Jul: you’ll look after ben?

Rom: yeah, we got him

Rom: you’ve got rose?

Jul: I always do

Jul: that’s what family does

Rom: yeah.

Rom: yeah, youre right.

Rom: but what are we going to do about the pair of them now?

Jul: I wish I knew

*

Livia Capulet to Rosaline Capulet: sis, come out of your room. you can’t hide in there forever.

Liv: please ros. we’re all worried about you it’s been days.

Liv: tell me what happened? come on, your my big sister, we’re supposed to share everything.

Liv: let me in, sis. don’t be alone today.

Ros: just leave it, liv. I’m fine.

Liv: yeah, no. you’re not fine. you’re hiding and I think it has something to do with the fact that Ben apparently sold his car yesterday and is planning on moving to the city.

Ros: Ben sold his car? But he loves his car more than anything

Liv: apparently not

Liv: what happened between you two?

Ros: nothing. that’s kind of the point

Ros: it was just me being me and fucking things up as usual

Liv: you don’t fuck things up, sis. you care more than anyone I know about other people.

Liv: and I know things have been hard for you since mom and dad died, and you don’t like to talk about it, but I know that you never really got over it. especially with Esc running off too.

Liv: do you wanna know what I think?

Ros: I’m sensing that you’re going to tell me anyway

Liv: I think that you started to care about benvolio montague more than you thought you would, and it scared you. But that doesn’t make you a bad person!! You’re sad and scared. It happens. And It’s the anniversary. We’re all feeling it today.

Liv: I think that if you told ben everything, he’d understand. He’s better than you give him credit for.

Ros: I know he is liv. bens better than he thinks he is, too.

Ros: is he really leaving?

Liv: first thing on monday, jules says

Ros: I don’t know how to do this

Liv: nobody does

Liv: just tell him the truth

Liv: if he deserves someone as good as you, he’ll understand

Liv: and sis? I love you.

Ros: I love you too, Liv.

Ros: thank you.

*

Mercutio Montague to Benvolio Montague: Ben, everyones worried, would you just answer your fucking phone

Merc: ben this isn;t funny anymore

Merc: romeo is about a minute away from calling the cops for fucks sake

Ben: I’m fine, Merc

Merc: where the fuck are you??

Ben: getting things ready to leave, i gotta do it sometime. And it wasn’t something you could help with.

Merc: you’re not fucking leaving, ben

Ben: yes I am

Merc: no, you’re not. don’t be stupid. you can’t just leave Verona because of a girl, we need you here, this is your home.

Ben: everyone has to leave home sometime, bro. It’s the right time for me.

Merc: but I don’t want you to go. i’ll miss you

Ben: I wish there was something I could do about that. But I have to do this, for me. I’ll miss you too, both of you, you know that.

Merc: you know that you’re doing exactly what she did, right? you know you’re running away

Ben: maybe thats all i’m good for

Merc: fucks sake, ben. i thought romeo was supposed to be the dramatic ass.

Ben: take care of him, yeah? and look after yourself, merc.

Ben: look after all of them

Merc: even her?

Ben: yeah. even her. I don’t hate her. I just cant be around her like this.

Merc: i hate your fucking noble bullshit, you know that?

Ben: love you too, bro

Merc: ass

Ben: the best ass in verona three years running, I’ll have you know :P

Merc: Sir Ass

Ben: that’s more like it

*

Rosaline Capulet to Mercutio Montague: Mercutio? Do you know why Ben isn’t answering his phone?

Merc: why do you care?

Ros: because I do

Ros: and because I’m trying to apologise, alright, so its really important that i get through to him before he gets on the bus

Ros: i’m trying to get over there right now but i don’t think i’ll get there in time, so i really need to speak to him

Merc: you really fucked him over, you know that capulet?

Ros: I know

Ros: and its him I need to explain why to, not you. so are you gonna help me or not?

Merc: fine

Merc: call his old number he’s using that

Merc: don’t break his heart twice

Ros: thank you, mercutio

Ros: i didn’t intend for any of this to happen

Merc: i hope ur not too late

*

Rosaline Capulet to Ben Montague: Ben?

Ros: Ben answer your phone, please,

Ros: I know you can see these

Ros: please let me explain what’s been going on

Ros: mercutio has already told me that you’re using this phone so I know you’re there, would you please just let me know that you’re okay?

Ben: mercutio is a snitch is what he is

Ros: oh thank god

Ros: ben, i’m sorry

Ros: listen, I’m bad at this. like, really, completely bad at this, but you deserve to know why i freaked out the other day

Ros: it wasn’t your fault. It was mine.

Ros: I just. I panicked. I wish there was a better excuse for why I acted like a total screaming bitch, but there isn’t. I just, I have this thing right. I don’t trust people easily, and especially not people with your last name. And that’s not your fault either, it’s ancient history at this point, but I cant help it. Some days i just cant see past the whole montague thing. And it was the anniversary yesterday.

Ben: fuck, ros

Ben: I’m sorry

Ros: it’s not your fault. Thats kind of the whole point, actually

Ros: but after mom and dad died, living with juliet’s dad wasn;t the most normal situation. He made us feel like we owed him for every little thing in those three years before we graduated, and i spent so much time thinking it was right and trying to make up for it. But it was wrong. HE was wrong. but now I have this thing where I don’t like to owe people, and when I found out about the book – I admit it, I overreacted. I fucked it all up because there’s something wrong with me, probably.

Ros: I don’t expect you to forgive me

Ros: but don’t leave. not because of me

Ros: you said it yourself; you love it here. you belong with them. And you shouldn’t be alone, ben, so

Ros: don’t go

Ben: I don’t know what to say, Ros. I’m so sorry that happened to you.

Ben: But I understand. Better than most, I’d bet. And I don’t blame you.

Ros: you should

Ben: then I forgive you

Ros: you shouldn’t

Ben: but I do

Ben: I’m still going tho, rose

Ros: Why? Ben, I don’t understand.

Ben: for me

Ben: really, this has nothing to do with our fight. I’ve wasted so much time under montague’s thumb, just like you did under capulets. Don’t you think it’s time we both get the fuck out of this town?

Ros: where will you go?

Ben: it’s a wide world, ros. reckon there’s got to be something worth seeing out there.

Ros: then I’ll be sorry to see you go, but I understand. I hope you find what you’re looking for, Ben. I really do.

Ben: Rose

Ben: here’s the thing: you’re right. I’m not good on my own. I’m too messy and I need other people too much to be any good by myself.

Ben: so what do you think?

Ben: wanna come with me?

Ros: I can’t just leave

Ben: why not? just for the summer. Just for now. We could find something neither of us expect out there, rose, what if it’s amazing? You said it yourself,, all those years you watched us and wanted to be free. So what are you waiting for?

Ros: this is madness!!

Ben: yep!!

Ros: you’re serious, aren’t you? Why would you want me with you after everything? Because I haven’t changed, i’m still a mess and

Ben: and what, ros?

Ros: nothing. it doesn’t matter.

Ben: I doubt that’s true. please. just try to trust me.     

Ros: and I’m still too afraid to care about people, because caring about them means that I can lose them.

Ben: I’m not going anywhere, ros.

Ben: well, I am

Ben: but you know what I mean

Ben: i’m metaphorically going to be here for you either way, because somehow i ended up caring about you

Ben: come on, run away with me?

Ben: it’s the only thing you could do to one-up Juliet and Romeo secretly getting married at this point. Just imagine capulet’s face when he finds out. Just once, I’d like to be responsible for giving him greys

Ros: you’re an idiot

Ros: I’m almost at the bus station

Ben: you’re coming?

Ros: of course I am

Ros: as if I’d let you go alone

Ben: so, since you’re running away with me, does this mean that I won? Care to admit that you were wrong, I have great game, and also put that in writing to show my boys?

Ros: don’t make me regret this already, montague

Ros: but I do, you know

Ben: yeah I know

Ben: me too

Ben: I think I can see you

Ros: where are you?

Ben: turn around