Chapter Text
For the longest time, her earliest memories were so vague that Rey wasn't sure they were even real. As the years went by, it became more than half her lifetime since those memories were made and when she looked back on them, they were hazy and distorted like the shimmering heat over the endless Jakku dunes.
Those days are over now but when she looks at Kylo Ren, something in his eyes reminds her of the haze of that Jakku heat. At first she isn't sure quite what it is that he's showing her but as it becomes clear, a slow smile spreads across her face. Now she sees some of those memories more clearly than she can recall on her own but they are still hazy, remembering through someone else like looking at the sky reflected on the surface of a lake, distorted by the ripples of their emotions and experiences.
Before she was born, her brother had felt the jealousy swelling inside of him like the child in his mother's belly. It was proof that they didn't want him, that he wasn't good enough and oh, how he hated that bump. It was a surprise then, that when she finally came, all Ben Solo saw when he looked into that crib was his own heart. A tiny, vulnerable creature with a mop of dark hair like his own and when she opened her eyes to look at him for the very first time, he felt something stir inside of him he'd never imagined he could feel.
And when she was a little girl, he would sit her on his knee while he played dejarik with Chewbacca on the Falcon. He called her sweetheart, like their father called their mother, told her she was his lucky charm as he smiled down into those big brown eyes of hers and basked in the affection they radiated back at him.
It was unexpected, for that angry, lonely boy to love that child like he did. And he did love her, more than his own life, loved her enough that when she was gone it was as if his own life had ended. That was the day Ben Solo died and Kylo Ren was born.
It is a twisted tale of loss and betrayal to bitter to dwell on for long, the pain of their reunion almost worse than their separation. It's easier now, with that light of hers filling up all the dark places inside of him, like his darkness hides the things inside of her that she would rather forget. They are together again, and he's never going to let anyone hurt her. The future is all he thinks on now. He has his heart back and things are going to be different, for both of them.
Now when he plays dejarik, she's his opponent rather than his good luck charm – she's been both those things in their recent history but whatever the circumstances, she's always been his mascot, his reason.
Rey peers at him over the rim of her cup, a wicked gleam in her eye as she leans forward to tap at the console. It is endlessly amusing to her, to watch the Supreme Leader of the First Order furrow his brow in concentration as he battles a Jakku scavenger in a child's game. He observes with apparent detachment as her Rancor stomps forward and crushes his Wampa's head in its holographic claws. Rey smirks victoriously as it lets out a pitiful yowl before crashing to the board and vanishing.
Kylo quirks a brow, the only movement on his face the slight flare of his nostrils as her laughter floats across the table. He lets his eyes flick up and down her smiling face, his own schooled into that scowl that terrifies so many people but which Rey currently finds more amusing than anything.
She worries her teeth on the rim of her cup and drums her painted fingernails against the edge of the console as he gently leans forward and punches the controls in response. Rey's grin slips as she watches his Bantha trudge forward and spear her Rancor through the gut, the tinny sound of its death rattle emanating from a speaker hidden beneath the table. Kylo relishes the way her gloating expression morphs into a scowl as a discordant electric fanfare announces his victory.
“How? You!” she sputters as the holographic figures on the console flicker and disappear. He chuckles, leaning back against the couch and folding his arms across his chest.
“I win,” he informs her smugly and Rey huffs indignantly.
“Cheater,” she accuses, glaring at him and his smile grows.
“How did I cheat?” Kylo queries in that low rumbling voice of his. Her grip tenses around her cup and she narrows her eyes at him, casting her gaze up and down him suspiciously. He clutches his hand over his heart, his expression wounded like a kicked Ewok cub and she huffs. A monster should not possess such a face. Rey flicks her hair out of her eyes and turns her head away in mock petulance that only makes his smile grow. “Fair's fair,” he drawls in a teasing tone. “Time to pay up.”
“I've got nothing to pay you with,” she informs him smugly, crossing her arms in a mirror of his own pose. Kylo Ren quirks his lip and regards her thoughtfully.
“Then pay me in kind,” he suggests with a leer and Rey narrows her eyes at him. He just smirks and leans a little closer. “Give me a kiss,” he demands with a kind of overbearing smugness Rey is not certain comes from being Supreme Leader or merely the older brother. She throws her hands up and lets out an exaggerated sigh.
He watches as she folds her knees up under herself and stretches towards him, hands gripping the sides of the table for purchase. As she leans forward, the fabric of her evening gown clings to her slim frame appealingly and not for the first time he considers what a pretty picture she paints. As she should. He won't have her cavorting around in rags, no, never again. He leans closer in anticipation and lets his gaze fall to her lips, full and pink and inviting, her lashes fluttering closed as she presses the most grudging of kisses to the corner of his mouth.
“Hmmm,” he mumbles as he pulls back, regarding her disapprovingly.
“What?” she asks sulkily and his brow furrows. Rey looks at him askance as his eyes narrow, sensing a ripple in the Force but she is not quick enough to resist when a moment later his arms surge forward to grab at her. She shrieks and bats feebly at his chest as he drags her across the dejarik table, kicking and squealing as he pins her onto the couch and jabs at her armpits with his big fingers.
“No!” she sputters, his deep laugh echoing around the room as he tickles her without mercy. “Be-en please!” she cries, flailing beneath him and twisting around to smack him on the side of the head.
“Don't be a sore loser,” he chides, pinning her arms on either side of her head and oh, if he isn't gratified by how she squirms.
“Monster,” Rey tells him indignantly, twitching beneath his grip and kicking her leg against him. “Oh!” she chirps, peering over his shoulder as her foot connects with his cup and sends it tumbling over the edge of the table. Her hand shoots out and she freezes it mid air, but not before a good part of the contents spill out onto the carpet below. “Kriff!” she huffs. “Sorry.”
“It's alright,” Kylo assures her with a smile, releasing his grip on her and sitting back to allow her to some room. Rey slides across his lap and calls the cup to her hand, shifting her legs so that she's perched on his knee. Kylo lets his arms loop loosely around her waist, gazing at her with an indulgent smile as the sound of a service droid buzzes in his ears. Rey's eyes track its passage across the floor as it approaches and sets to cleaning up the spill, turning to him with a crooked smile.
“I'll get you another one,” she says and he nods but when she moves to stand, his arms tighten around her.
“Uh,” he utters and she turns to look him in the eye. He smiles lazily and taps his finger to his lips. Rey narrows her eyes a little but she smiles anyway. “Like you mean it,” Kylo urges and her smile grows wider and more indulgent before she leans closer and presses her mouth against his. He hums happily as she kisses him, a sweet, gentle thing that lasts only a moment before she pulls away.
“Happy?” she asks and he nods.
“Yes,” he tells her and she smiles again, that sweet, dazzling thing that makes him grin like an idiot.
He keeps grinning after her as she slides off his knee and pads across the floor towards the table, the remnants of their dinner still laid out across it. His eyes take in the shape of her beneath her dress, a flimsy, showy thing that he knows she only wears because he gave it to her. And he wants to give her everything. His lonely, precious light, how she wants her family more than anything else in the galaxy.
She meets his eyes, smiling at him again and he lets out a soft sigh of contentment. Now they're a family again, just like they should have always been.
“Do you want any of this?” she asks, gesturing at the dishes on the table as she pours wine into his cup and he pouts his lips, shaking his head at her gently. “I'll call the droid,” she tells him, setting the carafe down and leaning backwards to tap at a panel on the wall.
“Thank you,” he tells her as she hands him his drink, his arm snaking around her hips as he sips it. She ruffles his hair, leaning down to press a silly raspberry kiss on the top of his head before she turns back to the table. “Muh?” Kylo chuffs at her, frowning catching her hand as she steps away.
“I want these,” Rey explains, slipping out of his grip and scurrying across the room to retrieve the grapes before the droid can clear them away. He nods and sips his wine, opening his arm as she returns to the couch and urging her back down onto his lap while the droid enters and sets about clearing the table. “You want one?” Rey asks, proffering him a single grape and he opens his mouth to accept it. Her eyes crinkle at the corners as she happily chews and he strokes his hand down the back of her head, sipping his wine and basking in her contentment. He has razed cities to the ground for this girl and she is the only person in the galaxy that will ever see him this way, so he plans to enjoy it.
“I can't wait to get down there,” she tells him, gesturing at the viewport with her chin, her fingers plucking another grape from the plate on her lap. He turns to take in the view, the screen filled with the glittering lights of Coruscant above. Between them lies the fleet, drifting in a slow orbit around the planet and small ships buzzing between the destroyers like tiny insects around a hive.
“I'm not sure what you're expecting,” he tells her softly, brushing her hair back from her cheek so that he can better see her profile. “It's crowded and dirty and.....it isn't very green.” Rey hitches a shoulder.
“But it's Coruscant,” she says with barely repressed glee. Kylo nods in understanding and takes a slow sip of his drink. They'll hardly have time for the kind of mindless jaunt they'd both enjoy, the kind where he'd show her all the things she should already have seen if she'd lived the life they were born to. How different things could have been. He turns his gaze back to the lights outside the viewport and takes a thoughtful breath. There will be time for that yet – this will all be over soon enough he muses, his expression growing more severe as he considers the days ahead.
“You're nervous,” Rey comments and he tilts his head to one side.
“Apprehensive maybe,” he replies and she nods. Tomorrow is the first day of negotiations, the beginning of the end of the war. Kylo stares into his cup and swirls the contents around.
“Isn't this what you wanted?” Rey asks and he sighs, a long deep breath in and out.
“I suppose,” he mumbles into his cup, because it is and it isn't. Whatever he's done, it only really means something to him now that she's here. Rey stares at the grapes and flicks her nail against a bare stalk. “I want to take you to Naboo,” he tells her softly, tucking her hair behind her ear. “You'd like it there.” Rey blinks and nods ever so slightly. “And I want to finish your training, find you a nice crystal for your lightsaber.”
“I want two blades,” she utters with a wistful sigh. Kylo drums his fingertips against her hip and quirks his lip.
“Yes,” he agrees, cupping the back of her head. She smiles at him, her eyes misting over slightly as she senses something unspoken lingering in his thoughts.
“What is it?” she prods gently, leaning closer and pouting her lips at him in a mild, coaxing gesture.
“You're going to be brilliant,” she assures him, looking him in the eye with an earnest smile.
“Now that I've got you,” he tells her and her smile grows so wide, her eyes crinkle at the corners.
“My Ben,” she murmurs, the only person left in this galaxy that will ever call him that name and live. His fingers trace slow patterns up and down her back, tickling touches that make her sigh and kiss him again all over his face, on the lids of his eyes, on the tip of his nose. Rey snakes her arms around his torso and he leans back to let her burrow into his embrace, tucking her head under his chin and squeezing his arms around her tightly. His poor, lonely girl, starved of affection, what does she know about love except what he shows her? And he shows her that he loves her, that he wants her, that he'd do anything for her. The droid is long gone now and they are alone once more. He presses a kiss to her temple and they stay that way for a long time, entwined under the viewport as the glittering lights of Coruscant drift slowly by.