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Language:
English
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Published:
2014-01-21
Words:
590
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
5
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59
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5
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1,900

It would be nice to have a blow job.

Summary:

Tony Stark literally never shuts up. Not even during sexy times. But where does the blow job come from?

Notes:

THIS. Can anyone guess from the title what inspired this fic? No? I pity you.

 

BLINK-182 MY FRIENDS.

BASK IN THEIR GLORY.

ARE YOU BASKING?

BASK FURTHER.

Basically, I've been jamming to them alllllll day and this is a combination of listening to Blew Job and What's My Age Again, because if anyone is gonna be a dick during sexy times its Tony Stark.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

A blow job, Tony Stark mused to himself as he laced a hand through Bruces dark curls, is a brilliant invention. If he could give the person who invented blow jobs, a blow job, he'd be on his knees in a matter of seconds.

The first blow job must have been really awkward. Did a guy just turn to his gal and go
"Oh dearest one, I would like nothing more than to make sweet love to your oral areas since your vaginal ones are getting rather dull now?"

Or did the girl go to her guy.
"Darling boyfriend mine, I wish to taste the juices of your genitalia and the only way I can logically see to do this is to suck you like a lollipop."

And what was their partners reaction?

If it was scenario one, did the girl freak and kick him out of bed? Or scenario two, did the guy laugh so much he fell out?

No matter who instigated it, the first one must have had enough awkward that people would go on to write about it, a.k.a really bad fanfiction.

Who was Tony kidding? All fanfiction was good fanfiction. If it wasn't for Hawkeye sending him the link to what was basically an Avengers porno, he would have never gotten drunk and told Bruce about it, who would never have felt the need to prove to Tony he could actually do that thing with his tongue that pretty much guaranteed an instant orgasm.

Maybe it was a gay couple who invented blow jobs. 'Cos lets be honest, taking it up the ass isn't always a pain-free experience so a blow job offered an excellent alternative.

Or was it that wonderful group of sex-maniacs known as exhibitionists. A blow job takes up a lot less space, you know.

For a blow job to be truly, and I mean truly, magnificent, it requires certain elements. As much as you'd like to believe, it isn't actually as simple as putting it in your mouth and sucking.

Hands play an important factor. Who doesn't like their balls fondled a little?

But even more obvious than that was the use of the tongue, a little action on the slit or just under the head is a sure fire way to make any guys knees buckle. And in the lead up too, licking a stripe up the shaft then blowing on it? Full mast in no time at all.

There is a special kind of blow job, one that takes practice...and no gag reflex. The wonderful, orgasm filled, magic pixie dust coated and dipped in sugar world that is deep throating. Few things are on par with the feeling of someone swallowing around you.

 

As Bruce did this, the muscles of his throat working over Tonys dick, he let out a surprised yelp that soon dissolved in to a moan of pleasure.

 

But then there's that special person, approximately 1 in every 143 who lets you cum down their throat. Nothing beats the satisfaction of spilling your load and watching them swallow it for you. Almost a work of art.

 

Bruce looked up with dark eyes, peering through a frame of lashes at Tony. He hollowed his cheeks before pulling off with a pop, Tony whined at the loss and pulled at Bruces curls teasingly.

"Shut the hell up and I'll swallow you idiot." Bruce glared before getting back to work.

Tony still loved whoever invented blow jobs, but he really had to stop talking during sex.

Notes:

I WENT AROUNS SINGING BLEW JOB TODAY AND ALL MY TEACHERS GAVE ME UNUSUAL LOOKS, LISTEN TO THE SONG AND YOU'LL UNDERSTAND WHY.

 

 

THIS IS MY JAM.

 

 

You may continue with your life now you smut addicted fangirl.

 

(I bet I perfectly described you, didn't I? Psychic me.)

 

(("The best part about falling in love is the oral sex- Blink-182))