Archive of Our Own

 

The inside of the flat is warm and cosy. There’s something stirring in the kitchen that smells wonderful and the only sound than can be heard is the soft music coming from the TV in the living room along with the light noise of the rain falling against the windows. Everything is calm and relaxed. Everything except Louis, that is.

“I don’t think you’re grasping the gravity of the crisis, Zayn.”

Zayn tastes whatever it is he’s cooking and adds a little more salt to the pan before replying. “And I don’t think that having new neighbours can be considered a crisis.”

“Yes it can! Weren’t you listening?” Louis sits on one of the stools and looks exasperatedly at Zayn’s back. “One of the guys who moved in is really hot. And I really want him.”

“So?”

Seriously, Louis is starting to get worried for his friend’s intelligence. “So he’s really hot and I really want him,” he repeats slower.

“I still don’t see the problem.”

Louis sighs in defeat. Zayn is the worst, Louis desperately needs new friends. Still, he tries to make him understand.

“I don’t have a chance in a million years, he’s so far out of my league it’s not even funny. And I don’t want to be pining for someone I’m gonna have to see on a regular basis.”

“Hey, none of that. You could totally get him. Or anyone you want.” Louis rolls his eyes. Zayn has the annoying habit of never letting Louis put himself down or say something bad about himself (alright, alright he’s not that bad of a friend). Still, he’s missing the point.

“You didn’t see him, Zayn,” he explains. “He’s not hot like good looking in a casual way, he looks like an actual male model. And he has green eyes. And dimples.” Honestly the guy seems made from Louis’ dreams. Or maybe his nightmares.

Apparently whatever Zayn was cooking is done because he turns off the stove and turns around, giving Louis his full attention.

“So why don’t you try talking to him?” He asks crossing his arms and leaning his back on the kitchen counter. “You know, that thing people do when they are interested in someone?”

“Dimples,” it’s all that Louis answers before letting his head fall on the table.

A knock on the door interrupts whatever Zayn was going to say next, fortunately for Louis who is not in the mood for a ‘you’re worth more than you think’ speech. It’s not that he doesn’t appreciate the sentiment, but Louis can’t help how he feels about himself and a few key words from his insanely gorgeous best friend aren’t going to fix anything.

And it’s not like he hates himself or anything like that. No, Louis is aware of what he is and what he isn’t and he is also aware that a guy like their new neighbour will never look at him twice.

He sighs and gets up, making his way slowly to the front door. He’s expecting to find their friend Liam, looking for some free dinner, or Mr. Pickwell from downstairs, complaining about the noise (again). What he’s certainly not expecting to find is the cause of his freak out right in front of him, watching him with big eyes and an even bigger grin.

“Hi,” he says actually waving his hand in the air. He looks like he’s escaped from a fairy tale. One with gorgeous characters, of course.

“Hi?” Louis replies, and that surely shouldn’t sound like a question, should it?

“I’m Harry,” the boy says still beaming.

“Hi,” Louis repeats, with more confidence this time at least.

Harry’s smile disappears and he frowns a little. “Yeah, you said that already.”

Inwardly cursing his stupidity, Louis makes an effort to pull himself together before this beautiful boy leaves thinking he’s a babbling idiot.

“Oops. Sorry about that,” he says with a small laugh. “I’m Louis.”

“Hey, Louis.” He doesn’t shiver when Harry says his name. He doesn’t. “As I said, I’m Harry and I just moved next door with my friend Niall. Just wanted to introduce myself to our new neighbours.”

“Oh. Well, welcome to the building. I hope you enjoy your stay.” Why the fuck did he just say that? Louis closes his eyes with humiliation but Harry actually laughs like it was funny.

“I’ll do my best,” Harry says with a wink. Oh, god, is he flirting with him? Or is he just joking around and Louis is seeing things he wants to see? Somehow the second option seems more likely.

There’s an awkward silence between them then, that Louis is about to break with some stupid comment about the weather, when he notices Harry watching something over his shoulder. He doesn’t need to look to know who has caught the boy’s attention.

“That’s Zayn, my flatmate,” he says with a sigh. He’s used to people losing interest in him when they see his best friend, Louis doesn’t resent them. He would probably do the same too. “Zayn, this is Harry, one of our new neighbours.” The two boys greet each other politely and then there’s silence again. God, Louis is contemplating sticking his head in the oven. This is painful. “Well, erm…” he clears his throat. “Did you want anything else?”

“Oh, sorry!” Harry shakes his head. “No, just that, you know, saying hi.” He fidgets on the doorstep and crosses his arms before uncrossing them again and letting them drop at his side.

“Hi,” Louis says stupidly for the third time. Thankfully Harry doesn’t comment on it.

“We’ll see each other around, I guess,” he says instead.

“Yeah, sure. That would be perfect,” Louis blurts out. And can he sound more desperate? It would be a miracle if Harry doesn’t move away somewhere else after this. Or puts a restraining order on him. Or both.

After Harry leaves with another hand wave and a small smile, Louis avoids Zayn’s eyes and goes into the living room instead. He throws himself onto the couch and pretends to watch the TV.

“What?” he snaps after five minutes of Zayn looking at Louis and Louis doing his best to ignore him.

“Nothing,” Zayn shrugs. “Just, you know, you could have been a little bit nicer to the poor guy. Maybe not make him think that you hate his guts?”

“Shut up.” As if that would have made a difference.

 

--

 

The second time he sees Harry doesn’t go much better than the first.

Louis is getting home from class after having stopped by Tesco to pick up some food. Zayn’s latest form of unwinding and getting inspiration before drawing is cooking (and if what he cooks was even a little edible, Louis would probably be ecstatic but sadly, his friend is as hopeless as Louis himself in the kitchen department. Not that he lets that stop him) and their fridge is completely empty.

Louis is trying to get his keys from his bag without dropping the grocery bags on the floor. Of course when he has grasped the damn keys, one of the bags slips from his grasp and all of its contents end up sprawled on the hallway.

“Fuck! Shit!” For a moment he seriously contemplates just leaving it there. Finally, with a deep sigh and cursing under his breath, he bends down to start picking it up. They can’t afford to throw away any food, they are broke students.

He’s stretching his arm to grab the microwave noodles when a big hand takes them instead. “Here,” Harry says offering the plastic can to Louis.

“Hi, erm, I mean, thank you,” Louis stammers. Seriously he shouldn’t be allowed to interact with hot people. In Louis’ defence Harry came from nowhere and caught him completely off guard.

“No problem,” Harry says helping him pick up the rest of his food. “Things like these happen to me all the time.”

“Yeah, right,” Louis replies rolling his eyes.

“Seriously. I’m like really clumsy. Niall says it’s a miracle I don’t cause major accidents every day. He still doesn’t allow me to use knives without supervision.”

Louis chuckles softly and Harry smiles pleasantly. For the first time since their conversation started, Louis fully looks at him. Harry’s wearing black gym shorts and a grey sweatshirt. Neon yellow trainers and a hair band taming his curls complete the outfit.

“Were you out for a run?” Louis asks abruptly. He’s not surprised that Harry exercises and it’s kind of unfair how good he looks all flushed and sweaty. Louis can’t put on shorts without looking like a middle aged dad trying to be cool.

“No, I was at church,” he deadpans. Louis looks at him raising his eyebrows. “Sorry,” Harry smiles sheepishly. “Lame joke.”

Louis laughs. “I guess your sense of humour is too refined for me, mate.” Harry giggles and Louis has to hold back a groan, where did this boy come from and why can’t Louis have him?

With Harry’s help they quickly finish gathering everything up. “Do you eat anything that doesn’t come in a box?” Harry asks running his fingers through his hair.

Louis is confused for a second and Harry gestures towards his shopping bags, filled with frozen meals. “Hey don’t make fun of my food!”

“No, no, that’s not real food. It all tastes the same.”

“Well it tastes better than anything I could ever cook, that’s for sure.”

“You can’t cook?” For some reason, Harry’s question makes Louis blush. As if not knowing how to cook was a crime. “You should come over for dinner at ours then. I always make way too much food and if Niall keeps eating the leftovers by himself his stomach is going to burst pretty soon.”

Adjusting his grip on the bags so they don’t fall again, Louis opens and closes his mouth a few times before murmuring. “I don’t know…”

“C’mon, I’ll have to throw it away if you don’t eat it. Pleaase?” Harry says grinning charmingly. Louis is sure that he has a few valid reasons to refuse the invitation but they are a little blurry right now. All of his thoughts are a little blurry actually. “You can invite Zayn too if you want.”

Right. Zayn. Louis really hopes this is not Harry’s plan to get in Zayn’s pants. Not that it would do him any good since Zayn is not into guys, but he probably wouldn’t survive the humiliation of being used just to get to his much more attractive best friend.

“Sure,” he answers in the end. “I’ll text him.”

“Alright!” Harry says beaming and clapping his hands once. “Give me half an hour to shower and come over. You’re going to love my cooking. It’s gonna blow your brains out, you’ll see.”

God, what did Louis just get himself into?

 

--

 

“Wow, this is delicious!” Louis moans taking a bite of the dinner Harry cooked, something with chicken and rice which name Louis can’t remember.

“See?” Harry chuckles. “I told you.”

“Now, now, Harold, smug is not a good look on you,” Louis says and Harry pretends to be offended.

Somehow after spending more than an hour in the kitchen cooking (well, Harry did most of the cooking, Louis just helped. Or tried to) and talking animatedly, Louis is feeling a lot more confident around Harry. That means that he can form two coherent sentences without stammering and blushing, not that he has gotten over his crush. If anything, it has gotten worse. Harry is sweet, funny and interesting and Louis feels like he’s falling a little bit more every second.

Trust Louis to get hung up on a guy so out of his league. But how is he supposed to resist his good looks and his charming personality? He’s not a robot. Harry may be one though, an inhumanly attractive robot brought to Louis’ apartment building to make his life more miserable.

“I’m sure this is the first homemade meal you’ve eaten in a while. I’m allowed to be smug,” Harry says.

Louis sticks his tongue out at him “The disadvantage of having no skills in the kitchen. I make up for it in other ways.”

“I’m sure you do.”

“Do you two lovebirds want some privacy?” Niall asks smirking. He showed up shortly before they began eating and despite Louis’ pessimistic predictions, they have gotten along great and there hasn’t been any awkwardness. Until now at least.

“Shut up, Niall.”

“Anyway, Zayn is gonna be gutted he missed this delicacy,” Louis comments half-heartedly, mostly to change the subject. Zayn texted him back to tell him he already had a date. Louis told Harry this, watching closely his reaction, but the boy didn’t seem that bothered. He must not be interested in Zayn after all. “He’s not going to believe it.”

“Well we’ll have to repeat this with him some other time then. Can’t have you guys eating frozen pizza every night.”

“Oh, wow,” Niall says. “You’re such a good person, Haz. So selfless and sacrificed.” He laughs like that was the funniest joke he ever heard.

“Shut up, Niall,” Harry repeats. Louis feels like he’s missing something, whatever is happening between the two other boys right now. “Do you want seconds?” Harry asks him when he sees that Louis’ plate is empty.

Ignoring Niall’s strange burst of laughter, Louis smiles at Harry and nods.

 

--

 

A week after that weird dinner, Louis is lazing around on the couch, taking full advantage of the fact that it’s Saturday and he doesn’t have classes or anything else to do until much later, when he’s meeting Liam for drinks, and someone knocks on the door.

On the other side stands Harry, flawless as always and with his usual wide smile. “Hi, Lou!” he says. They haven’t properly seen each other since the dinner, just passing by on the hallway every now and then, but Louis hasn’t stopped thinking about him.

“Hi,” Louis says and Harry laughs. Is that an inside joke? Does he have an inside joke with Harry? “Come in, how are you?” he asks, determined to be nice to make up for the last time Harry was here. Okay, so he also wants to spend more time with him, Louis is just human.

“Thanks.” Harry follows him to the living room. Suddenly Louis remembers that he hasn’t even brushed his hair today, also he’s wearing some old trackies and a dirty t-shirt. In short, he’s a mess and Harry’s flawless and everything sucks. Harry doesn’t seem to notice Louis’ internal breakdown though, he sits on the couch and laughs delightfully when he sees what’s on the telly. “Oh, Phineas and Ferb! I love this show.”

“You would,” Louis teases him. “Your mental age is probably in the target audience.”

“Heey.” Harry pretends to punch him in the arm. Louis’ skin doesn’t erupt in goosebumps with his touch but it’s a close thing. “Anyway, I came here to apologize.”

Louis blinks. “Apologize?” What for? Being so hot that he keeps Louis awake at night with how much he wants him? He doesn’t think Harry is aware of that otherwise he would have already asked for a restraining order.

“Yeah, we had band practice yesterday at our flat and it got really late without us noticing. I’m sorry if it bothered any of you,” Harry says rubbing the back of his neck. His thin t-shirt (god it’s the middle of winter, isn’t he freezing?) stretches over his bicep and Louis’ mind blanks out for a second.

“Oh!” he says when his brain regains full function again. “Don’t worry about it. I was out with some friends and Zayn had a date. Neither of us noticed.”

“Good,” Harry says but he doesn’t seem relieved. He stares at the TV screen with an expression that Louis can’t read and doesn’t say anything else. Louis wonders if he’s thinking of how to leave politely. Maybe he just wanted to apologize quickly and wasn’t counting on Louis inviting him in. Louis bites his lower lip guiltily, he doesn’t want to retain Harry here against his will. “So I guess I should go before the rest of the band shows up,” Harry drawls out finally.

Just like Louis thought. The fact that his suspicions were right shouldn’t make him this upset. What was he expecting anyway? Of course Harry doesn’t want to spend more time with him than necessary and would rather hang out with his real friends.

“Yeah,” he says standing up. “You guys practice a lot.” Harry and Niall told him about the band they are in, along with two other friends whose names Louis can’t remember, over dinner. From what he gathered it was more of an informal, just-to-have-fun kind of thing but if they spend all of their weekends rehearsing it must be more serious than they let on.

“Not usually but we got a gig tonight,” Harry replies while they walk to the door.

“That’s cool!”

“Eh. Not really. Ed’s friend owns a pub and his usual band cancelled so we’re covering for them. We aren’t really that good actually...”

“C’mon now, I’m sure you’re fine.” Louis would like to say something else, like how Harry has nothing to worry about, even if he’s bad (which Louis seriously doubts) people are gonna love him just for being his adorable self. Of course, he can’t say any of that.

“Thanks. You should come,” Harry says suddenly. “Tonight, I mean,” he adds like Louis could have somehow misunderstood.

“I already have plans with my friend Liam tonight, sorry. Another time, yeah?” It sounds like an excuse but sadly it’s not. Louis would love to go watch Harry’s band, even though Harry probably just invited him to have a bigger audience and it would only deepen his crush and cause him more pain in the long run. He’s pathetic like that.

“So bring him! The more the merrier.”

And that’s how Louis finds himself in a small and smelly pub that Saturday night with Liam and Zayn to watch Harry’s band play.

“What are we doing here again?” Liam asks when they have sat down at one of the tables. He’s being deliberately obtuse and Louis suspects that Zayn has told him all about Harry and Louis’ stupid crush on the guy.

“Our new neighbour’s band is playing and he invited us. I thought it would be cool to check them out,” he says as nonchalantly as he can. The way that Zayn raises his eyebrows at him tells him that his indifference wasn’t really credible.

“He must be one hell of a neighbour for you to drag us here,” Liam replies with a smirk and yeah, he definitely knows what’s up.

“Well, Liam if it’s such an inconvenience for you to be here we can go somewhere else. I’m sorry for dragging you here but it’s not like we had planned anything special,” Louis bites out. He’s nervous about tonight. He knows how stupid it is because Harry probably won’t notice he’s there and if he notices, he definitely won’t care. But he changed clothes four times before deciding on an outfit and the teasing from his friends is only increasing his nerves.

“Hey, hey. Sorry, Lou,” Liam apologizes. He looks like a sad puppy and Louis instantly feels bad. “I didn’t mean to make you mad.”

“It’s okay,” Louis sighs. “Can’t we just talk about something else now, please?”

And they do. Zayn tells them about the girl he’s seeing, Perrie. He’s only been on three dates with her so far but he likes her a lot and he promises Louis that he’s gonna introduce her to them soon. They also talk about Liam’s training at the fire fighters station. It’s still weird for Louis that one of his childhood friends is out there saving lives and putting out fires. Well, training to save lives and put out fires, since Liam hasn’t been in the real action yet.

While they talk back and forth Louis forgets his nerves, until someone goes up into the little stage to introduce the band and they come out between cheers of the small crowd, then they return full on.  Harry looks really good as he takes the mic on the centre of the stage and Louis’ eyes widen while he imagines all that he could do to him. Oh, he definitely would love to be Harry’s groupie.

And that’s the sort of thoughts that he really shouldn’t be having right now.

Harry smiles charmingly and greets everyone, thanking them for coming before introducing the band. If he’s nervous, he doesn’t show it. In fact, it occurs to Louis as they are starting that he’s more nervous that Harry about their performance, which is just ridiculous. Then Harry starts singing and Louis just stops thinking altogether.

The thing is that they are really good. It’s not that Louis was expecting them to be bad, but he’s surprised of how good they are. They mostly do covers of other songs and just a couple of originals, but it’s clear that they all get on well and have fun performing. Louis is embarrassed to admit that he barely notices the rest of the band, though. He’s too concentrated watching Harry. Harry, who sings perfectly and whose voice sends chills down Louis’ spine.

God, just when he thought he couldn’t be more attracted to the guy. There’s no way Louis is going to get over him after this.

At one point, Harry makes a little break to drink some water and say something to Niall, who’s playing guitar next to him, and Louis comes out of his trance. That’s when he notices Zayn and Liam watching him with a weird expression on their faces.

“What?” he asks defensively.

“You can stop staring at him, you know,” Zayn replies. “He’s not gonna disappear.”

“Fuck off,” Louis mutters before taking a sip of his drink.

“Hey, I’m sorry Lou,” Liam says softly. “I didn’t know you liked him this much or I wouldn’t have teased you. I thought you just thought he was fit.”

“I just think he’s fit,” Louis says but he can see in Liam’s eyes that he doesn’t believe him. That angers Louis more than it should. For some reason, the fact that everyone can see how smitten he’s with Harry makes him furious. And embarrassed, because Harry must have noticed too.

The band finishes between cheers and claps from the crowd. There are not a lot of people but they compensate that with their enthusiasm.

Suddenly Louis’ nerves, dulled during the amazing performance, return fully. “Should we go?” he asks already standing up.

“Aren’t we staying to say hello?” Zayn asks confused.

Before Louis can answer a voice calls his name and two big arms engulf him from behind. “Louis! You came!” Harry says cheerfully. Louis turns around to find Harry’s face closer than he thought it would be.

“Yeah,” he says taking a step back to think more clearly. “Told you I would. You guys were amazing.”

“Thanks!” Harry’s still flushed and full of adrenaline for the performance and Louis wants to lick the sweat of his neck. He doesn’t think he’s been more attracted to anyone in his life. “I screwed up the beginning of the second song but I think we recovered.”

“Oh, shut up, you were perfect,” Louis blurts out and regrets it instantly. Way to be too obvious. But instead of calling him out, Harry smiles widely, like Louis’ opinion was important for him. Louis smiles back.

A cough behind Louis’ back reminds him that he’s not here by himself. He introduces Liam to Harry and Harry is perfectly polite while he thanks them for coming too (if he shows a little less enthusiasm than with Louis, it surely means nothing).

“Harry, mate, don’t worry, we’ve already picked everything up. Thanks for offering to help, eh?” Niall says coming towards them with their other two bandmates trailing behind.

“It’s alright, Niall,” says one of them, the redhead. “Harry was in a hurry. We understand,” he says in a teasing tone. Harry punches him in the arm and once again, Louis doesn’t understand what’s going on. It must be an inside joke of the band.

Harry introduces everyone then. The red head name’s is Ed and the shorter one (alright, he’s taller than Louis, shut up) is Josh. They seem like nice guys while they joke around and Louis likes them instantly.

After Niall buys the first round, they all sit down at their table and the night goes away in a blur of laughter and beers. Louis is really surprised of how well they all get along. Zayn and Ed bond immediately over their tattoos, and so does Harry actually. Josh is a nerd for Marvel comics just like Liam and himself. They all tease Niall when he tries to flirt with a girl and it turns out that she has a girlfriend (he proposes them a threesome but they are not amused) and Zayn drinks so many beers that he ends up declaring his undying love for Perrie to the whole table (they’ve only gone out three times so maybe that’s more the alcohol talking).

A lot of people go over their table to congratulate the band or just say hi and about half of them are girls, all more interested in Harry than the music. Harry is nice and charming to everyone but he doesn’t seem interested in any of the girls (or boys) and he doesn’t leave his spot at their table all night. He’s sitting right next to Louis and every time he gesticulates to say something or reaches down to grab his beer his bare arm brushes Louis’.

At the end of the night Louis is pleasantly buzzed, and if it’s more because of Harry’s presence than the drinks nobody needs to know that.

 

--

 

After that night all of them hanging out together becomes kind of a regular occurrence. They usually end up at Zayn and Louis’ flat or at Niall and Harry’s, but they also go to Ed’s friend’s pub, which Louis ends up liking more than he thought. Somehow, Saturday night becomes the night that Harry cooks dinner for whoever it’s there, and Louis is always there. In fact, Harry and Louis spend a lot of time together. Louis can’t hardly believe he gets to hang out with Harry and call him his friend (he has to remind himself a couple of times every day that that’s all that they are going to ever be, friends, and that it has to be enough).

A few weeks later, Zayn finally agrees to introduce Louis to Perrie and her friends. The night that they’ve decided to meet up Liam has a shift at the station so Louis brings Harry with him.

Perrie and her three best friends, Jade, Jesy and Leigh Anne, are funny, loud and cheeky so naturally, Louis loves them and they love him too.

“…and that jerk had the guts to say that I had somehow broken it!” Jesy ends his story in the middle of a chorus of laughter and then finishes her drink.

“I can’t believe it!” Louis says laughing.

“What did you do?” asks Leigh Anne.

“Are you kidding? I left! The guy had a real life space trooper figure on his living room!”

The table erupts in more laughter and Louis catches Zayn’s eye over his glass. He covertly sends him a thumbs up. Zayn rolls his eyes but Louis can tell that he’s pleased of how things are going. The truth is that Louis would probably have pretended to like Perrie either way, just for how happy he makes his best friend, but it’s nice that she’s so amazing and they get along well.

After being there close to an hour, Louis starts to feel tired and sleepy. He tries to repress a yawn but he’s not quite successful and Harry, of course, notices it.

“Are you tired, Lou?” he asks him softly to avoid getting the whole table’s attention.

“I’m fine,” Louis says. “I just didn’t sleep a lot last night, I was busy finishing up a paper.”

“I thought English students didn’t pull all-nighters. You know, since your career is the easy one,” Harry teases him and, like every time that they bicker about this, Louis pretends to be offended.

“Well, excuse me, Harold. We can’t all be fancy law students.” He tugs at one of Harry’s curls. “You don’t even look like a lawyer anyway, you’re too nice.”

“That’s ‘cause I’m going to be an environmental lawyer,” Harry replies, just like every time they argue. “You know, one of the good ones.”

“Yeah, of course,” Louis sighs. “Our little Hazza is gonna save the world.” They both smile stupidly at each other for a moment. When Louis stops staring at Harry’s eyes he notices that the conversation around them has dulled and the rest of the table is watching them in silence. “What’s wrong?” he asks after clearing his throat.

“Nothing,” Jesy says with a smirk. “How long have you two been together, anyway?

“Oh, no- we are not- we just-“ Louis stammers like an idiot while the girls send him weird looks and Zayn watches him amusedly. “We are not dating,” he finishes up.

“Sadly Louis refuses to make an honest man out of me,” Harry jokes smoothly putting his arm on the back of Louis’ chair. Everyone laughs but Louis’ smile is forced. He’s glad that Harry can joke about it like it’s nothing and defuse the tension but he doesn’t see what’s so funny.

If the girls had thought that they were a couple maybe he’s even more obvious than he thought with his feelings (and since when has his little crush become real feelings? He’s so screwed). He’s distracted with these thoughts the rest of the night and he doesn’t even notice that Harry’s arm doesn’t leave his back the whole time.

 

--

 

“What are you watching?” Harry asks dropping himself on the couch next to Louis.

“I’m not sure,” Louis answers lazily. They just ate a whole lasagne between the two of them and Louis feels full and sleepy. Even diverting his eyes from the TV screen seems like a lot of effort. “But I think that the lion is about to eat the presenter.”

Harry chuckles and cuddles closer to Louis’ side, leaning his head on his shoulder. “Maybe he’ll intoxicate himself with all that fake bronzer.”

Louis laughs softly. “I’m sorry I didn’t help you wash up,” he murmurs.

“It’s okay,” Harry says burying his face on the crook of Louis’ neck. Louis bites his lip to repress a dumb smile. It doesn’t matter how many times they cuddle, Louis absolutely loves it. The fact that Harry is so touchy-feely with him is one of Louis’ favourite things about him.

Despite how awful it is, they keep watching the show attentively, occasionally commenting on it.

“Hang on, my neck is killing me,” Harry says when about half an hour has passed. He shifts on the couch to lie on his back. Louis feels cold and empty without him pressed right by his side, until Harry motions for him to lie on his chest. Louis blushes but he obeys and burrows his face on Harry’s shoulder.

He has to admit that they are way more comfortable like this.

Eventually the weird reality show ends and another one starts right after. Apparently in this one the participants have to engulf as much as food as humanly possible without an actual reason.

“Niall would be good at this,” Louis says while they watch a big guy eat hot dogs like candy. Harry makes a noise in agreement that Louis feels more than hears. “Where is he anyway?”

“I don’t know.” Harry’s hand trails up and down his back softly. Louis stays perfectly still to not disrupt him and make him stop. “I think he said something about a pair of twins… I didn’t ask more questions.”

Louis chuckles nuzzling Harry’s throat. He smells wonderful.

Louis’s eyes start to close and he struggles to keep them open but he can feel himself dozing off. His eyelids seem to weigh a ton and he just can’t keep his eyes open more than three seconds. He can feel by Harry’s even breaths and the movement of his arm on his back slowing down that the boy is falling asleep too.

He knows that he shouldn’t fall asleep here. He should get up and go back to his flat to sleep on his own bed. But. But he’s warm and comfortable and he absolutely doesn’t want to move. Besides Harry is sleeping and it would be rude to wake him up just so that he can get up, wouldn’t it?

Before he can convince himself to stand up and leave Harry’s warm arms he falls into a deep and peaceful sleep.

 

--

 

Louis is picking up his things after his Creative Writing class when someone pinches him softly in the arm to get his attention.

“Hey!” he whines to Aiden, who’s standing next to him. They’ve been friends since the first day of class, when Aiden sat down beside Louis and they bonded over the awful hairdo the girl sitting in front of them had. “Was that really necessary?”

“That’s for complaining about the assignment and getting a 100% anyway,” Aiden jokes.

“It’s just 97%,” Louis replies while they walk down the stairs.

“Oh, excuse me. For us mere mortals that’s impossible, you know?”

Louis chuckles. “You are such an idiot.” He burrows further in his coat when they exit the classroom. He swears it’s colder in this damn hallway than outside. And it’s really cold outside.

“So, anyway, do you want to-“ Aiden is saying when Louis notices a lanky figure with curly hair leaning on the wall a few steps away.

“Harry? What are you doing here?” he asks frowning. “You do know that this is not the law building, right?”

“Very funny,” Harry replies dryly. He straightens up and nudges Louis’ foot with his while he talks. “They cancelled my last class, the professor has the flu or something. I thought I’d surprise you.” Louis ignores the butterflies flying wildly on his stomach and curls his finger on a strand of Harry’s hair that’s escaping from his beanie.

“You waited in the cold for me?” Harry’s cheeks are flushed and his nose is freezing when Louis’ hand brushes it, he must have been standing in the chilly hallway for a while, but he’s beaming at Louis.

“Nearly froze to death,” Harry agrees. “You look happy.”

“I got a good grade on my essay,” Louis smiles smugly.

“You did?” Harry’s smile widens even more, impossible as it seemed. “That’s amazing Lou!” he says hugging him tightly. Louis buries his nose on Harry’s neck and inhales deeply. “It doesn’t surprise me though, the essay was great.” Harry pulls away but stays close to him.

“You read my essay, Harold?” Louis isn’t even mad and he knows that Harry knows it but he still pretends. “Have you ever heard of such a thing as privacy, maybe?”

“You left it open on your laptop, should I had closed my eyes?” Harry asks cheekily.

An awkward coughs interrupts their banter (it’s not flirting, Zayn may say so but he’s absolutely, one hundred percent wrong) and Louis remembers that Aiden is standing right behind him. He completely forgot about the guy when he saw Harry and if that’s not embarrassing Louis doesn’t know what is.

“Oh, sorry,” he says taking a step back and dropping his hands from Harry’s shoulders. “Harry, this is Aiden, from class. You two don’t know each other, do you?”

“We don’t,” Harry confirms nodding at Aiden. Aiden returns the nod without smiling. Louis looks from one to the other, unsure of what’s going on and why they are sending glares in each other direction.

“Okaay then,” he says to break the awkward silence.

“Anyway, Lou, I probably should get going,” Aiden says adjusting the grip on his bag. Harry’s frown deepens but Aiden doesn’t bother looking at him again. “I’ll see you in class, alright?” He hesitates for a second and then adds flatly, “Harry.”

“Bye,” Louis says to his retreating back. “That was weird.” He looks at Harry who just shrugs. The mortal glare has disappeared from his face, replaced by his usual easy smile.

“Hey, do you want to go for a walk?” Harry asks holding the door open to let Louis’ exit the building first. “I don’t feel like going home yet.”

It’s freezing outside and Louis has been up since seven. His ideal plans for this afternoon were to go home and take a nap but suddenly, Harry’s idea seems much better. “Sure! Did you want to go somewhere specific?”

“Nope. Let’s just walk, yeah?”

So they walk. They talk about their day and their friends and whatever other topic comes out while they wander the streets next to each other. Their arms brush with every step and Louis has to fight the urge to grab Harry’s hand and intertwine their fingers together. He keeps reminding himself that they are not dating and if Harry knew what he really wants, he would probably distance himself from Louis as fast as possible.

At some point, they stumble upon a small marketplace just outside of town and Harry’s eyes widen eagerly. “C’mon, Lou! Let’s check the stands.”

The market is not all that great, honestly. Most of the stands are full of cheap and crappy knick knacks with a price well above their real cost, but Harry seems to enjoy himself while he drags Louis from one place to another, so Louis doesn’t voice his complaints.

“Do you even play the ukulele, Harold?” Louis asks raising an eyebrow when he catches Harry inspecting the small instrument.

“It’s pink,” Harry says as an answer. “And I’m sure we could find it some use in the band.”

“It would bring the whole hipster thing to a whole new level, that’s for sure” Louis says already anticipating Harry’s reply.

“We are not hipster, we are indie!”

Louis has a moment of weakness when they pass by a stand with small and fluffy kittens up for adoption. Obviously, Harry being Harry, he immediately grabs one of the kittens and puts it close to his face. The little animal blinks its blue eyes at Harry and then licks his nose. It’s hard to tell which one of them is more adorable.

Louis is so screwed.

Who is he even kidding? What he feels for Harry surpassed friendly on the day they met and his feelings just grow more and more every day. Louis is in it so over his head because of this beautiful and wonderful boy. There’s no way this is going to end well for him.

Still, he’d rather bottle up his feelings and keep Harry’s friendship, because the thought of not seeing him every day makes Louis’ heart drop. What’s a little pretending until he gets over it?

After a while of wandering around, Louis starts to feel hungry and he demands Harry that they stop by the Fro-Yo place that he spots on a corner.

Harry gets a disgustingly healthy thing with more fruit than yogurt while Louis covers his in melted dark chocolate and pink marshmallows. Ignoring Louis’ protests Harry pays for both of them and absolutely refuses to take Louis money.

“You know that Fro-Yo is supposed to be a healthy alternative to ice cream right?” Harry asks with a smirk, eyeing Louis’ mountain of chocolate.

“Shut up, Harold, I’m trying to enjoy my healthy ice cream.” Louis shivers and tries to burrow further on his jacket. Getting something cold to eat in this weather wasn’t exactly his best decision, he can see that now.

“Are you cold?” Before Louis can answer his question, Harry takes his beanie off and puts it on Louis’ head.

“That wasn’t- I’m okay,” Louis blurts out hoping his blush is not noticeable.

“It looks better on you anyway,” Harry says with a sweet smile and Louis can tell by the heath in his cheeks that the stupid blush is definitely noticeable now.

He laughs to cover it up. “Yeah, right. Very funny.” He adjusts the beanie over his ears and doesn’t look at Harry until he finishes his Fro-Yo.

 

--

 

Zayn and Liam are watching TV when Louis comes back to the flat a couple of hours later.

“Hey Lou, where were you?” Liam asks stretching his arms and leaning on the couch. “I thought your classes finished at four on Wednesdays.”

The fact that Liam knows his schedule better than Zayn, who lives with him, (or better than Louis himself) is kind of worrying.

“I was with Harry.” They don’t seem surprised about it. Louis guesses that it’s fair. “We went for a walk.”

“Oh, did you have fun on your date?” Zayn doesn’t ask it in a mocking tone but like he’s genuinely interested in his date and that’s what makes Louis explode. He’s been ignoring his friends’ jibes for weeks now and he just can’t stay silent anymore.

“Would you stop that, already?” he snaps. “It wasn’t a date, we are not boyfriends, we don’t flirt and he doesn’t like me like that!” There’s silence then, the only sound on the flat coming from the muffled TV. “Just stop, alright?” he asks in a smaller voice.

Both Zayn and Liam are watching him with their eyes full of worry and pity. Louis feels like screaming but he knows it wouldn’t solve anything.

“Louis-“ Liam starts, but for once Zayn interrupts him.

“You know I don’t say it to laugh at you, right? I’m just happy you’ve found someone and also, I have eyes. I see how both of you are when you are together.”

“I don’t know what you see,” Louis forces himself to keep a calm tone. “But I can assure you that Harry doesn’t feel that way about me.” He doesn’t bother lying about his own feelings. Zayn knows him well enough to know when he’s fallen for someone.

“How are you so sure?”

“What the hell would someone like him see in someone like me? He could have whoever he wanted.”

“It looks like the one he wants is you,” Liam points out softly.

“Louis, you see each other every day. He always finds some excuse for you two to spend time by yourselves, he cooks dinner for you every week and you spend the night at his more often than not.”

Louis blushes but he doesn’t cave. “Because we fall asleep on the couch watching TV!”

“So you can’t walk twenty steps to sleep on your own bed? Also I know that he cooks you breakfast in the morning. Yeah you’re right, why in the world would you think that he’s into you? That’s just a thing normal friends do.” Zayn’s tone drips sarcasm and Louis has had enough of it.

“Can we stop talking about this? It’s none of your business anyway.”

“Alright, but don’t come crying to me when it all blows up in your face, mate,” Zayn says dryly. Liam watches them with a grim expression but he doesn’t add anything else.

“Don’t worry. I won’t.” And with those harsh final words, Louis goes into his bedroom and slams the door shut.

 

--

 

A couple of days after their fight they celebrate Josh’s birthday. Josh made sure to let them know that he didn’t want to make a big deal out of it and he absolutely didn’t want any presents.

“Really,” he said while the rest of them nodded and pretended to listen. “I’m happy with all of us just hanging out and having a couple of beers.”

So obviously they rent out a big party room (it’s actually more like a warehouse with sofas and a bar but they are on a tight budget), they invite all of Josh’s friends and acquaintances and they tell everyone to bring over something.

In a weird turn of events, almost everyone brings booze. So they end up with only about a dozen pizzas and pints and pints of alcoholic beverages, or in Niall’s words ‘the party of the century, you fuckers!’

All in all Josh takes the surprise really well. He threatens to kill them all at first, sure, but he recovers quickly and becomes the life of the party, going from one group of people to another and dancing, laughing and talking to everyone.

“Dude, I’m having a great time!” he says to Louis putting an arm over his shoulders. He reeks of beer. “What’s wrong? Why are you here all by yourself?”

Damn, if even drunk-out-of-his-mind Josh notices Louis’ bad mood then everyone else must have noticed too. Louis hasn’t forgotten about his argument with Zayn and things are still stretchy and awkward between them. They have exchanged a total of ten words tonight and all of them were stupid small talk.

To make things worse, Louis can’t seem to behave normally around Harry. He’s constantly second guessing himself and trying to not be too obvious about his feelings while he unconsciously analyses everything that the other boy says or does to see if there’s any chance that he reciprocates those feelings (there isn’t). All that he has accomplished so far is to worry Harry and push him away. He hasn’t seen him since the party started.

However, the last thing Louis wants is to burden Josh with his worries on his birthday party so he forces a smile and lies about being tired. He knows that if Josh had been sober it wouldn’t have worked since his friend would have seen right through him but luckily Josh is completely inebriated and he happily accepts Louis’ excuse before walking away to talk to someone else.

Louis spots Zayn staring at him from a couple of couches on the side of the dance floor but he sits down on one of the barstools and pretends he didn’t see him. Nobody is better at holding a grudge than Louis (except with Harry, one look from those green eyes and Louis is a goner).

He watches Zayn make his way to him from the corner of his eye. He’s holding two beers on his hands. So finally Louis is going to get the apology he deserves.

“Have you finished sulking and being a little bitch?” Okay, not exactly the apology Louis was expecting but at least Zayn caved first.

“Is one of those drinks for me?”

“Well, it was for my best friend but I can’t seem to find him anywhere,” Zayn answers and the asshole even pretends to look for someone in the crowd.

“Very funny, mate.”

“I’m serious. My best friend would have never spent a whole party on a dark corner by himself.”

“Maybe I don’t want to give you more reasons to tease me about Harry,” he grunts out.

“Is that why you’re ignoring the poor guy tonight? He’s desperately asking everyone what he has done to piss you off. He’s a right mess.”

“Stop it, Zayn.” Louis’ tone is firm.

“Alright, alright,” Zayn says raising his arms in defeat. “Look, I don’t get why you’re fighting this so much but I don’t want to fight with you about it. You were right, it’s not my business. Let’s just agree to disagree and never bring it up again, okay?”

“Okay.” Louis can feel that this is not the end of the conversation and Zayn is just waiting to say ‘I told you so’ but he’s fine with the compromise. He’s missed his friend these last few days and eventually Zayn will realize that he was wrong about Harry and he will stop looking at Louis like he’s particularly dense.

Zayn offers one of the beers to Louis and he accepts it. They clink the bottles together to celebrate their cease-fire before taking a sip.

Niall and Ed join them soon after, pointing out to the dance floor where Josh is dancing with two girls.

“For not wanting a big fuss,” Ed says. “The guy sure knows how to party.”

They are all laughing at Josh’s pitiful attempts to twerk when Louis gets a glimpse of Harry for the first time since they arrived. He’s near the DJ stand talking with a tall guy Louis hasn’t seen before. Louis dislikes him instantly and no, it has nothing to do with the fact that he’s whispering something in Harry’s ear that makes the boy giggle and hit his arm playfully. He just doesn’t give him good vibes.

“Who’s that then?” he asks pretending indifference while he nods in Harry’s direction. The guy is now poking at Harry’s dimple and Harry just keeps giggling. God, Louis is gonna be sick.

“Who?” Niall asks turning his head around. He freezes when he sees them but his voice is casual when he answers. Almost too casual. “Oh, he’s a friend from Harry’s, I think his name is Nick?”

“Really? I haven’t seen him before.” He knows he’s probably acting like a jealous boyfriend and Zayn’s expression confirms that but he can’t help it. Knowing that Harry is free to hook up with whoever he wants doesn’t mean that he wants to see it.

“I think they haven’t seen each other in a while,” Ed comments to break the awkward silence. Everyone stares at Louis like they expect him to snap and do something crazy (like going over there and getting between the two of them) but he simply turns away and changes the subject.

He’s still tense a few minutes later, when he feels two big hands grab his hips and a damp breath on his neck. “Boo,” Harry whispers in his ear. Louis shivers. “Where have you been? I miss you.”

Ignoring the butterflies on his stomach Louis turns around and takes Harry in. He’s flushed and sweaty, his curls sticking to the back of his neck and his forehead. The red plaid shirt he was wearing has disappeared, leaving him in only a white thin t-shirt. Also he’s fighting to stay upright.

“How much have you drank, Haz?” he asks grabbing his chin to examine his face closely. Harry’s eyes are glassy and he’s smiling dumbly. His breath reeks of alcohol.

“A little,” Harry slurs. “You weren’t with me and I missed you.” He repeats.

“Hazza...” Louis starts but he doesn’t know what else to say. The rest of the guys are gone now so they are alone in the dark corner.

“Why weren’t you with me, Lou?” Harry asks wrapping his arms around Louis waist and draping himself over him. Louis grins softly, it seems that Harry gets even clingier when he’s drunk.

“I was being an idiot.”

“Noo, you are not an idiot. You are Louis,” Harry denies vehemently. So vehemently that he loses his balance and almost falls down on the floor but Louis catches him on time. “Oops.” He giggles on his neck.

Louis can’t breathe. He’s completely surrounded by a hot and sweaty Harry that doesn’t stop touching him and he’s getting more and more turned on by the second. However, as much as he wants him, the last thing he wants is to take advantage of Harry’s clouded judgement (like that tall asshole was doing before) so he takes a step back and wraps an arm around Harry’s waist, just enough to support him.

“C’mon love let’s get you a glass of water, shall we?” Harry pouts a little but he follows Louis without a complaint and he drinks the full glass. “Are you feeling better?”

“I’m with you,” Harry says like that’s an answer. “So yes.”

“You seemed to be doing fine without me,” Louis can’t help but say. Harry’s way too drunk to read his tone anyway. “With Nick.”

“I wasn’t,” Harry mumbles. “Wanted to be with you but you were ignoring me. I just want to be with you.”

Louis forces a laugh that sounds more like a cough than anything. “Very funny.”

“I’m not joking,” Harry says frustrated. “Why do you always think I’m joking?” Moving clumsily, he manages to corner Louis to the bar. He’s so close that all that Louis can see is Harry because his shoulders block everything else. He doesn’t even hear the music or the rest of the people there, they might as well be alone in the big room.

Harry seems serious, or as serious as he can be while completely drunk and Louis doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t even know what caused this outburst in the first place.

“Harry…” he murmurs. “What?”

“Lou,” Harry giggles and bumps Louis’ nose with his index finger, his anger apparently completely forgotten. “You’re pretty.”

Louis snorts. “You’re drunk.”

Harry makes an affirmative noise. “You’re still pretty.” He shortens the distance between them until their noses touch, lips almost brushing. Louis feels hot all over, his knees weak with want. Harry’s eyes are fixated on his lips and when Louis licks them self-consciously Harry takes in a ragged breath.

“Harry…” he repeats. He can’t help it, his name is about the only thing clear in Louis’ mind. The rest is just a hot flush of want for this gorgeous boy.

“I’m going to kiss you now, okay?” Harry says it so softly that Louis only hears him because he practically talks in his mouth.

“Okay,” Louis whispers. He can’t believe this is finally happening. He would be incapable of moving a single muscle even if he wanted to.

Harry leans in slowly, and Louis can almost taste him already, but suddenly Harry’s determined face is replaced with a frown and-

And he pulls away to throw up all over Louis’ shoes.

 

--

 

“…and even as I wander, I’m keeping you in sight, you’re a candle in the window on a cool, dark-”

“Shh, Haz stop it!” Louis covers Harry’s mouth with his hand to stop his singing. “You’re gonna wake up everyone up.” When Harry licks his hand Louis drops it with disgust. He may love Harry and want to do dirty things to him but he also just threw up.

“You’re pretty, Lou,” Harry slurs leaning all his weight on Louis, who struggles to keep them up and not fall down the stairs. At least he’s not singing anymore. “I like you.” But he’s back at fawning over Louis. He’s been telling him how perfect he is since they got in the cab.

“You’re going to have a hell of a hungover tomorrow, love,” he says when they reach their floor. “Where are your keys?”

Harry giggles on Louis’ neck. “Don’t know.” Louis sighs before trying to stick his hand on the boy’s pockets and find the keys.

“Why do you have to wear jeans so tight…” he murmurs. Harry giggles again and leans on Louis touch.

“For you to take them off better.”

“That doesn’t even make sense,” Louis snorts. He makes a triumphant noise when he finally locates the keys but it turns into a shriek when he feels a big hand squeezing his bum. “Hazza!”

“What?” Harry wonder with big eyes. “I was trying to recitrocate. Reciprotake. Recipro-Re-”

Louis shakes his head with a small smile. Harry’s totally smashed. “Let’s get you into bed, huh?”

Harry shows a lot more enthusiasm by the idea than Louis thought he would and it’s relatively easy to open the door and carry him to his bedroom. However when they reach the bed Harry trips and they end up sprawled on the bed with Louis lying on top of him. “Hi,” Harry says with a smile.

“Your breath smells like puke,” Louis says standing up. Harry’s smile doesn’t falter and he quickly takes his t-shirt off and starts unbuttoning his pants. “Harry, why are you taking your clothes off?” Louis’ eyes stay firmly on Harry’s face and they don’t stray to his chest. No way. He totally doesn’t sneak a peek to his abs because he’s Harry’s friend and not a crazy stalker.

“I can’t sleep with this,” Harry says slowly blinking at him. God, he’s staring at Louis half-naked with innocent, trusting eyes, like he would do anything that Louis asked him right now.

“Alright,” Louis manages to say, shaking his head to get rid of the dirty fantasies that are plaguing his mind. “You get into bed and I’ll be right back.”

When he comes back into the bedroom with a glass of water and a painkiller he finds Harry already snoring on his pillow. Smiling fondly, Louis covers him with the blanket and leaves the glass on his nightstand. He’s tempted to kiss Harry’s forehead but he refrains before he can become a complete creep and just brushes his hair. He may stay for a while staring at the sleeping boy but no one needs to know that.

Finally, Louis realizes that watching someone sleep from his bedside is one step above becoming a serial killer and he turns around to go to his flat. Before he’s taken two steps Harry’s hand grabs his wrist and he grunts, “Don’t go.” Louis is almost sure that the boy is dreaming and not conscious of his actions so he really should free himself and leave. “Lou, please. Stay.”

Knowing that he’s probably going to regret it, Louis takes off his jeans and slides in next to Harry. He makes an effort to stay on his side of the bed and not touch the other boy but Harry plasters his chest to Louis’ back and wraps him in his arms. Louis might be dead and in heaven right now. “Sorry I threw up on you,” Harry whispers on his ear.

Louis shivers. “Go to sleep, Haz,” he says fighting the knot on his throat. Good thing Harry’s not going to remember a thing in the morning.

 

--

 

The next morning Louis is startled awake by a loud noise on the kitchen. He blinks disoriented for a second before everything that happened the night before comes back to him. Harry and him. Almost kissing. Sleeping pressed together. Louis groans burying his head on the pillow. Now is going to be even harder to control his thoughts in front of Harry. Now that he knows what it feels to have Harry’s half naked body so close to him.

It’s only then that he realizes that he’s alone in the bed. “Harry?” he asks worried. Harry was really drunk before they went to sleep and suddenly the image of him drowning on his own vomit in the bathroom comes to Louis’ mind.

“In the kitchen,” yells a rough, still sleepy voice. Louis sighs in relief. So Harry is not dead, just in the kitchen. And making pancakes by the smell of it. Louis smiles fondly, only Harry would cook breakfast for him after getting completely drunk the night before.

“Morning, Haz,” he says nonchalantly, like nothing weird happened the night before and him waking up on Harry’s bed was a common occurrence (if only).

“Hey, Lou. Everything alright?” Harry asks perfectly flipping a pancake in the air.

“I should be asking you that. How are you even standing right now?”

Harry laughs softly. “I’m fine really. Just a little embarrassed.” He puts a plate in front of Louis who smiles at him in thank you.

“Embarrassed? What for?”

“I kind of maybe drank too much last night,” Harry says rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Maybe?” Louis asks raising his eyebrow.

“Definitely. Sorry,” Harry says. “I don’t remember much of what happened but I know I can be a real pain in the ass when I’m that drunk.”

Louis ignores the small part of him disappointed that Harry doesn’t remember. That’s what he wanted and what he was expecting. Harry would probably regret everything he said to him if he did remember. He’s just admitted that he’s not himself when he drinks too much.

“It’s alright, don’t worry about it,” he replies forcing an easy smile. When he sees that Harry doesn’t seem relieved, he adds, “Seriously. You should see me when I drink too much. I start to cry and I can’t stop.”

Harry doesn’t laugh. “Still. I’m sorry I ruined your night.”

“Hey, now,” Louis says standing up and walking until he’s right in front of Harry. “You didn’t ruin anything, okay?” He says rubbing his shoulders. Then he smiles mischievously. “It was kind of fun listening to you belting REO Speedwagon at the top of your lungs, anyway.”

“Oh god.” Harry covers his face with his hands. “Niall is always listening to them. I guess I have their songs unconsciously engraved on my brain.”

“Sure,” Louis says without losing his smile. “Whatever you say, Haz.”

They eat in silence for a few minutes until Louis hears Harry mutter. “Thanks for taking care of me.” Harry’s staring at his pancakes when Louis looks up at him so, instead of answering him, he reaches his foot out until he touches Harry’s and tangles their feet together. Harry looks at him through his eyelashes and grins softly. Louis feels the corners of his mouth tugging up and he bites his lower lip. His skin tingles where it’s brushing Harry’s.

They stay like that until they finish their breakfast.

 

--

 

Louis isn’t even supposed to be home when it happens. It’s late in the afternoon and he was supposed to be at a study group but it was cancelled at the last minute. Since Zayn is off with Perrie, Niall is cramming for a test and Harry hasn’t answered any of the texts he send him (Louis doesn’t care about that, it’s whatever), he’s left by himself trying to find something decent on TV.

He settles for a rerun of Teen Cribs on MTV. He’s watching a teenage girl showing her pool house to the camera (it’s bigger than Louis’ childhood home, honestly) when he hears a loud noise coming from the hallway.

It sounds like someone has crashed into the wall. Curiosity wins out on Louis’ laziness in the end and he gets up to watch through the peephole. He immediately wishes he hadn’t.

The image of Harry giggling and clinging to another guy is burned into his eyeballs now. Still he can’t look away. He stays rooted in place, watching how the guy grabs Harry’s shoulders and they laugh, trying to stay upright. They are both clearly tipsy, and it’s also clear that they know each other well. While Harry struggles to open the door the guy glues himself to his back and Louis can’t see it clearly but it looks like he’s kissing his neck. Louis doesn’t move until long after they have disappeared into Harry’s flat.

He walks to the couch in a daze, trying not to think about what Harry and that stranger must be doing right now. About Harry’s beautiful lips being kissed by another guy’s mouth, his smooth skin being touched by another guy’s fingers-

Feeling like an idiot he rubs his eyes furiously to stop the tears from falling. He repeats in his head that he and Harry are just friends, that Harry will never feel that way about him, that it’s not a big deal if Harry hooks up with someone else...

The thing is. The thing is that everyone was convinced that there was something else going on between them .Their friends were always teasing them about how they behaved like boyfriends and telling him that Harry definitely reciprocated his feelings and somehow along the way they convinced Louis about it.

Somehow a part of Louis believed that they weren’t just friends and Harry felt something for him too. He believed that the smiles and the little touches and the flirting (because it was flirting) meant something.

He was wrong. At least he’s going to be able to say ‘I told you so’ to Zayn and the rest of them, he thinks smiling bitterly. That doesn’t exactly make him feel any better.

 

--

 

Louis is not avoiding Harry. He’s not. He’s just ignoring his phone calls and texts, leaving his flat at odd hours to not stumble into him and spending all his free time in his bedroom, never answering the door.

So maybe he’s avoiding him a little. But he’s just taking a few days to himself, to forget about his stupid hope and illusions and be able to be just Harry’s friend again.

“Louis this is getting ridiculous,” Zayn snaps one night while they are eating chinese take-out. “It’s been a week of this nonsense, are you ever going to tell me what happened?”

Louis doesn’t look up from his noodles. “Would you pass me the soy sauce?”

“Are you even listening to me?”

“I’m listening,” Louis says sharply. “I don’t want to talk about it, okay?”

“C’mon. We should be out front eating a homemade meal right now and not this crap. Also I’m tired of seeing Harry look like a sad, kicked puppy.” Louis flinches when he hears Harry’s name. “Seriously, what happened? It can’t be that bad, I’m sure you’ll fix it.”

Louis feels like screaming. “It’s your fault actually,” he bites out.

“My fault? What are you-?”

“You were so fucking convinced of Harry’s epic love for me! Well, sorry to disappoint but you were absolutely, one hundred percent wrong!” Louis drops his chopsticks on the coffee table. Suddenly he’s not hungry anymore. Actually he feels like throwing up.

Zayn sighs like Louis is a spoiled kid that’s being deliberately difficult. “And how did you get to that conclusion? Did he tell you?” The disbelief is clear in his tone.

“He didn’t need to. It was quite clear when I caught him snogging some other guy,” Louis has to force the words out of his mouth. He struggles to erase the image of Harry and that guy from his mind but it’s useless. He’s been thinking of nothing else for the past week.

“You- that’ not… what?” Zayn stammers confused. “Are you sure?” he asks in the end. When he sees the glare that Louis sends him he shakes his head and adds, “Okay. Right, you’re sure. I’m sorry, Lou.”

“You know. It is what it is,” Louis says staring at the arm of the couch. There’s a stain there from when Harry made flan one night and then dropped it. He apologized to Louis for an hour after that. God, Louis’ heart feels like it’s going to explode on his chest.

Thankfully, even though he screws up sometimes, Zayn is still his best mate. “Do you wanna play some FIFA?” he asks already getting the Play Station ready. Louis takes his controller without saying anything else but he knows that Zayn understands he’s thankful he dropped the subject.

“I’m here, okay?” Zayn mutters half way through the game. “If you want to talk.”

Louis sighs sadly. He doesn’t think that’s going to solve anything but he appreciates the gesture all the same.

 

--

 

Louis is standing in front of the fridge trying to decide on his lunch. Should he go with the leftover pizza from Monday? Or maybe the Thai from yesterday? It’s either that or something green-looking and rotten-smelling in a corner of the fridge that Louis thinks used to be mac and cheese.

Well, there’s no denying that his eating habits have taken a turn for the worse since he doesn’t have his personal chef. He really misses Harry’s cooking. Because that’s all that the misses. The cooking. Not Harry (that may not be true. He may have stayed until two last night looking at the pictures on his phone. Also he may have started to cry when he reached the one in which Harry’s wearing make-up, thanks to Perrie and Jesy, and he’s grinning widely at the camera, at Louis).

A loud knock on the door interrupts his thoughts. Usually Louis wouldn’t answer but Zayn is not here and their landlord is supposed to come by to check a rising damp on the bathroom. Also, and that’s the main reason that makes him close the fridge and head to the door, he knows for a fact that Harry has his hardest and more important class at this hour, so it can’t be him.

When he opens the door to find green eyes and pale skin, he’s reminded for some reason to the first time he saw Harry here, when he came over to introduce himself. Only Harry’s not smiling this time. No, his mouth is pressed closed in a tight line and his eyes look sad and tired, with heavy bags under them.

“So, you do open your door,” he says without a trace of humour. Fuck, Louis didn’t know how much he’s missed his voice until he heard it again.

“I thought you had a lecture now?” he asks stupidly.

Harry’s expression falls even further. “You answer your door. Just when you think that it’s not going to be me.”

“Harry…” Louis starts not sure of what to say. Harry’s right after all.

“Are you gonna let me come in or are we gonna talk in the hallway?” Harry asks, letting Louis know that there’s no way he’s getting out of this. He could always slam the door on his face but not even Louis is that much of an asshole and besides none of this is Harry’s fault. Sighing softly, he steps aside and lets Harry in.

“I’m sorry about the mess,” he says while they stand awkwardly in the middle of the living room. “Do you want something to drink?”

“Can you stop treating me like a guest?” Harry asks abruptly and Louis flinches. “Lou, seriously, what’s going on with you?”

“I don’t…”

“You’ve been ignoring me all week. And I don’t know if I did anything wrong or just- Can you just tell me please? If you’re mad at me for something just tell me. Don’t, don’t ignore me, okay?” Harry runs his fingers through his hair and looks at Louis desperately. “Please,” he repeats in a small voice.

Louis’ stomach drops at seeing Harry like this and knowing it’s all his fault. He has to fix this, he can’t let Harry keep on believing that he’s done something wrong.

“I’m sorry I… This is not your fault, Haz- Harry.” Louis corrects himself on time. He doesn’t feel like he’s got the right of using nicknames right now. “It’s me. I’m an idiot. You’re not… You’re perfect.”

“Really? You are going to use that line with me? The whole ‘it’s not you it’s me’?” Harry looks more defeated than before. “I know that it is me you’re ignoring, so you can save it. I just want to know why.”

“It’s nothing. I… I’ve been really busy?”

“Yeah, alright.” Harry says harshly, his face closed-off. “Have a nice life, Louis.” And he turns around storming to the door.

“Hazza! Wait!” Suddenly Louis has the horrible thought that he’s never going to see him again. He’s finally pushed Harry away and Harry has had enough of it, enough of him. God, he can’t breathe. “Wait, please! Don’t leave.”

He manages to stop Harry before he can open the front door, his hand still on the doorknob.

“Then explain to me what’s going on. Or I’m leaving.” Harry’s tone is stiff and dry but Louis can see right through him. Harry has never been a good actor. His eyes shine with uncertainty and anxiety and his hands are shaking when he runs them through his face.

It’s that what makes Louis decide to tell the truth. He’s going to lose Harry either way, at least this way it won’t be because he didn’t try. He doubts that that’s going to make him feel better after Harry leaves but maybe it will in the long run.

“I saw you with that guy, okay? And I just, I  know that I’m not supposed to care, I know that we are just friends but… but I couldn’t, seeing you with someone else it was awful. I just needed some time to deal with it before going back to normal.” There. He’s said it. And it wasn’t so awful. Granted he was looking at a picture on the wall instead of at Harry’s face but, small steps.

“What are you talking about?” Harry asks and he sounds so completely confused that Louis spares a look at him. “What guy?”

“I don’t know. Last thursday. You seemed to be having a good time.”

“That was Johnny.” Louis shrugs. Knowing the guy’s name doesn’t make him feel any better. “My cousin who’s visiting from Holmes Chapel. The one I told you about last week?”

Louis flushes and closes his eyes in embarrassment. He remembers now, how Harry told him about his cousin visit and how excited he was for them to meet.

“Oh,” he says staring at his feet. He can’t watch Harry’s face right now, he’s too mortified. “What a funny misunderstanding!” He tries for a laugh but it gets stuck on his throat. “How about we-?”

Forget about it, Louis was going to say. Only he can’t. Because Harry erases the distance between them and grabs Louis’ face between his hands to fuse their mouths together.

Without thinking twice about it, Louis closes his eyes and kisses him back, feeling a shiver go down his spine. This is the best kiss he’s ever had, probably, definitely, and it’s just because he’s Harry. And Louis has wanted this for so long but it surpasses all of his expectations.

When their tongues meet, Louis grips Harry’s t-shirt and moans embarrassingly. That only seems to spur Harry on, and he brushes Louis neck with his thumbs.

“Wait, wait,” Louis breathes out pulling away just enough to be able to talk. Harry whines softly and kisses him again so Louis’ next words are said against his mouth. “Are we really…?”

“Lou,” Harry says breathing against his cheek. “You don’t know how- I thought this would never happen.”

“What?” Louis is having a little trouble following the conversation with the little kisses Harry is pressing to his neck. “Everyone could see how much I wanted you. Are you blind?”

“Are you?” Harry replies cheekily. Before Louis can complain he brushes his hands down Louis’ back until he reaches his ass and then fucking lifts him from the floor. Louis wraps his legs around Harry’s waist, more turned on by his strength than he would ever admit.

“Do you think you’re in a movie, Harold?” he asks with a breathy tone.

Harry kisses him again, long and deep, before answering. “I don’t know, am I gonna get a happy ending?” he asks raising his eyebrows suggestively. As if Louis could somehow miss the joke.

“Shut up and take me to the bedroom.”

 

--

 

“Lou? Mate are you the- oh my god! My eyes!” Zayn says covering his eyes with both hands. Louis rolls his eyes. Honestly, his friend is such a drama queen. Alright, so Harry and him are naked in bed but they are covered with the blankets and they aren’t doing anything scandalous (at this moment), they are just cuddling.

“Hi, Zayn,” he says in the least inviting tone possible. Harry giggles on his neck and Louis grins at him pecking at his nose.

“I really didn’t need to see this. I’m going to have to put bleach in my eyes.”

“Then you should have thought about that before coming in my bedroom without knocking first,” Louis says before leaning down to kiss Harry’s shoulder. Harry squeezes his waist, his smile widening.

“I thought you’d be in bed eating everything on the fridge.”

“He was right about one thing,” Harry says and Louis laughs. He kisses Harry again and he intended for it to be a soft, short kiss but they get carried away. Louis has quickly become addicted to Harry’s mouth, and his hands and his skin and he can’t stay away. Harry doesn’t seem to mind judging by the way he kisses Louis back and keeps clinging to him and by how his eyes shine with happiness.

“What’s that noise? Are you kissing right now? Please stop being gross while I’m in the room,” Zayn groans out.

“Then leave, wanker,” Louis grunts while Harry bites his ear softly. Zayn makes a show of leaving Louis’ room with his eyes closed and almost crashes into the doorframe.

Seconds later the door opens again and Zayn sticks his head in with his eyes still closed. “Is there any chance you’re making dinner tonight, Harry? We’ve been eating junk food for a week now.”

Louis throws his pillow at him.

 

--

 

So they are a together now. Kind of. Louis is not really sure of the details and frankly he’s afraid to ask, in case Harry changes his mind. But they are something.

There are things that don’t change between them, like how they spend most of their days together, or how Harry cooks for Louis whenever he can or how their friends tease them and pretend to throw up in front of them.

But there are also things that do change. Like the kissing. They kiss a lot, wherever and whenever they can. Not that Louis is complaining (on the contrary). They also spend practically every night together either in Louis’ or in Harry’s bed.

Louis doesn’t think he’s smiled so much in his life. He wakes up with a smile on his face that usually doesn’t disappear until he goes to sleep. But, really, who can blame him? He wakes up and goes to sleep wrapped in Harry’s arm and his face is the first and the last thing he sees every day.

So, really, Louis is not that concerned about labels, because they are happy and they are together (and maybe a part of him wishes that he could freely call Harry his boyfriend but that’s not important).

It’s Monday night and Louis drags his feet up the stairs after having the worst day ever. He didn’t hear his phone alarm so he overslept and only had time to hurriedly kiss Harry’s cheek in goodbye before running to his first class. He had an exam in the afternoon that he has been studying for all weekend and at this moment he’s not sure he’s even going to pass.

Without thinking twice, he heads to Harry’s flat instead of his own and enters inside. Harry gave him a key a couple days ago, like it was nothing. Louis has to hold back the urge to bring the key out and caress it a few times every day (he gave Harry a key to his place the day after and Harry thanked him with bright eyes).

“Hey, Niall,” he sighs leaving his coat on the hanger.

“Hi, Lou! You’re hungry?” Niall asks from his place in the couch where he’s strumming his guitar. “I cooked some Spaghetti earlier and there’s still a plate left.”

“No, thank you,” Louis says. He vaguely thinks that it’s really unfair how both Niall and Harry are good cooks but Zayn and him are both hopeless in the kitchen.

“Harry’s in his room,” Niall says, before Louis can ask him. Louis thanks him with a nod and crosses the living room quickly, eager to get to Harry. “Could you two keep it down?” Niall asks before Louis can reach the door. “Or warn me so that I can put my headphones on? I’m tired of listening to things that I should definitely know nothing about.”

“Put your headphones on,” Louis says even though he’s too tired to even think about sex. “Consider this your warning.”

Niall’s disgusted groan makes Louis chuckle while he opens the door and enters Harry’s bedroom. And then his mind promptly blanks out. Harry’s standing in the middle of the room on  top of a yoga mat in only his boxers. Huh, turns out Louis is not that tired, judging by the dirty thoughts that come to his mind.

“What are you doing?” he asks disrupting Harry who stumbles and almost falls on his face.

“Yoga. Duh,” Harry says opening his eyes.

“Yeah, I can see that. Why?”

“Because.” Harry abandons his yoga mat and approaches Louis, wrapping his arms around him. “Someone overslept this morning and didn’t wake me up on time for my morning run.”

“Mmm… Maybe you should put your alarm clock next time,” Louis says putting his hand on Harry’s neck.

“I like how you wake me up better,” Harry replies before kissing him. Louis melts into him, leaving all his tension and worries behind. “Hi.” Harry gives him an eskimo kiss. “Are you okay?”

“Huh?” Louis almost doesn’t remember the bad day he’s had anymore. Harry tends to have that effect on him. “Yeah, just a crappy day. My exam didn’t exactly go well.”

“Sorry, babe.” Leading them towards his bed, Harry sits down without letting go of Louis, so he ends up on his lap. “Do you want me to make you feel better?”

“Oh?” Louis raises his eyebrow. “How are you going to make me feel better, Haz?”

“I meant like a massage or something. God, Lou, get your mind out of the gutter, would you?” Harry says with mock reproval.

Louis grinds his hips on Harry’s lap and Harry’s breath instantly picks up, his big hands gripping Louis’ waist from under his jumper. “What were you saying about my mind being in the gutter?”

“Maybe,” Harry breathes out taking Louis’ jumper off and kissing his shoulders between words. “I could, like, give you a massage later. After.”

“After what?” Louis asks faking ignorance until Harry bites the base of his neck, surely leaving a mark. “Harry,” he sighs. “Don’t-don’t tease.”

“Look who’s talking,” Harry whispers in his ear. It’s the last thing Louis is aware of before Harry picks him up and rolls them over, trapping Louis to the bed with his long, lean body.

Louis doesn’t think about his crappy day or his exam for the rest of the night.

 

--

 

Two weeks later, they have a party at Louis and Zayn’s flat. It’s an unplanned party, in the sense that it was supposed to be a small get together with only close friends but somehow everyone told someone who in turn told someone else and, long story short, their place is now full of people and Louis only recognizes about half of them.

At least everyone bought booze so he’s not complaining. That may also be because he’s had Harry at his side all night. They have danced in the living room, grinding filthily and getting each other so worked up that they’ve had to go blow each other in the bathroom. Louis is not particularly proud of that (except for how he is).

“Hey!” Niall calls him over from the kitchen where he’s talking with Liam and Liam’s almost-not-quite-yet-girlfriend (Louis is almost sure her name is Sophia). “Long time no see, dude!” Niall’s cheeks are flushed and he’s holding a drink in each hand, Louis is pretty sure that he’s going to end up the night passed out on the bathtub.

“Yeah, Lou, where have you been?” Liam asks.

“Sucking Harry off in the bathroom.” Louis is too buzzed and too happy to keep anything to himself right now. He feels on top of the world. Liam and Niall groan disgusted by his answer. Louis shrugs. “You shouldn’t have asked.” He looks at Liam’s girlfriend to see if she’s scandalized because of him but she just seems amused. Okay, so they are going to get along.

“And what are you doing in here? Party is outside.”

“We are doing shots!” Niall says recovering his good humour.

“Body shots?” Louis asks smirking.

“Jello shots!” Liam answers. “Sophia bought them.”

“Ooh, I want one,” he says grabbing a red jello shot from the counter and downing it in one go.

“Careful, mate, they are quite strong,” Niall warns him.

Sophia laughs. “Maybe you should have followed your own advice.”

Niall vehemently protests that he’s completely fine before leaving to find a girl that he invited only to finally get a chance to hook up with her (his own words), and almost crashing with Harry and Zayn on the door.

“That’s gonna end well,” Zayn comments dryly.

“Hey, maybe she’ll find him charming, you never know,” Louis says just to disagree with him.

“Well, if Harry finds you charming I guess anything is possible.”

“Heey!” Harry says wrapping himself around Louis from behind and hooking his chin on his shoulder. “Leave my boyfriend alone.”

Boyfriend. Louis freezes on Harry’s arms while the others continue with their conversation as if nothing happened. As if Harry didn’t just call Louis his boyfriend.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asks quietly in his ear. Of course he noticed something is off with Louis. He always does.

“Nothing,” Louis lies. “I think the jello shot put me off.”

Harry’s eyes widen like a little kid’s. “There’s jello shots?”

And that’s that.

 

--

 

“Zayn, have I told you later how good you look? That green hoodie does wonders for your complexion.”

“What do you want, Lou?” Zayn sighs drifting his attention from his laptop to Louis, who’s squirming on the couch and pretending to watch TV.

“If I ask you a question, do you promise to take it seriously and not laugh?” Frowning, Zayn nods, so Louis goes on. “Are we and Harry boyfriends?”

Zayn blinks at him for a second before bursting into laughter. Louis glares at him, his best friend is a useless jerk, seriously.

“Well, I would hope so, seeing how you are practically married,” Zayn says between laughter. “Wait, you’re serious.”

“You told me you wouldn’t laugh.”

“Oh, god, Louis. What have you done now?” Zayn runs his hands through his face in frustration. Like he’s the one that has to solve all of Louis’ problems or something. Wanker.

“You know what? Forget it,” he makes to get up but Zayn puts a hand on his shoulder.

“C’mon tell me. Before you start over thinking and ruin this. I know you.”

“We’ve never talked about it, you know?” Louis says. “About what we are.”

“But Harry’s crazy about you.”

“I know,” Louis agrees. And he does know. He’s not blind or in denial (at least not anymore) and he can see that Harry is just as into Louis as Louis is into him. “But I don’t know if he wants a relationship. Or if he’s ready. He’s so young.”

“He’s only two years younger, not to mention he’s a lot more mature than you. And if he doesn’t want a relationship he sure acts like he does.”

Louis sighs. “The other day? At the party? That was the first time he’s called me his boyfriend. And it was probably a slip of the tongue.”

“Do you love him, Lou?” Zayn asks seriously.

Louis can’t lie to his friend any more than he can lie to himself. “Yes.”

“Then talk to him.”

So that’s what Louis does. He waits until next Saturday, when he and Harry decide to go out to get some breakfast.

They are waiting for their pancakes to arrive when Louis takes a deep breath to try to gain the confidence he needs to approach the subject.

“Haz? Can I ask you something?”

Harry was rambling about a vintage shop he found last weekend but he immediately shuts up when Louis talks and gives him his full attention.

“Yeah, Lou, of course.”

Louis decides to be blunt. “Are you my boyfriend?”

“I’m whatever you want me to be, baby,” Harry jokes with an exaggerate wink but when he notices that Louis isn’t laughing he sobers up. “Oh. You’re serious.”

Louis is having a deja-vu.

“It’s just that we never said it outright…”

“Yeah, but I always, I mean, I thought that we didn’t need to?” Harry’s staring at his orange juice as he talks. “I thought that it was clear. I don’t know, if you don’t want to-”

“No! I mean yes!” Shit, this is going awfully wrong. “I just wanted to be sure. One hundred percent sure.”

“You’re kind of an idiot, you know?” Harry says, a small smile appearing on his face.

“Hey! I resent that!”

“I’ll try to remember next time,” Harry says grabbing his hand over the table and intertwining their fingers together. “That you need everything to be said loud and clear.”

“You do that.” Louis smiles while he brushes Harry’s thumb with his.

“Are you gonna freak out if I say I love you?” Harry’s beaming at him, like he already know the answer. His eyes are shining and he’s looking at Louis like he can’t believe he’s here with him. Louis can relate.

For once, Louis can’t think of a sarcastic reply, and he doesn’t want to either. “I love you too,” he says with a big grin matching Harry’s.

They end up ignoring their breakfast in order to snog heavily on the bathroom until the manager catches them and throws them out. It’s totally worth it.

 

--