Chapter Text
“Do you ever think you’re missing out?”
“In relation to what, exactly?” Louis asked, and rolled over onto his stomach so he could better reach the crisps.
Despite being at a party, he and Zayn were holed up in a bedroom together, lying on a queen-sized bed with a bowl of Doritos and a six pack of beer stuck between them.
Louis would like to be able to say this was a one-off, that usually he and his best mate were the socialising type who danced and hooked up, but they always ended up somewhere quiet. Sometimes it was with other people too, but rarely.
Zayn still hadn’t said anything, so Louis pinched his hip and asked “Do you want to go out there?”
“Out where?”
“Like, where everyone else is.”
“Why would I want to do that?”
There was probably something a bit odd about how happy that made Louis, the utter revulsion that had laced Zayn’s words at the mere suggestion that he could be somewhere else. But Louis didn’t care, and instead rolled over onto his back again.
Louis’ head was on a pillow at the head of the bed, and Zayn’s socked feet were on the one beside him, so Louis pulled at Zayn’s big toe and the other boy pushed himself up to rest on his elbows. He raised an eyebrow, and Louis shrugged. “If you feel like you’re missing out, go join the party.”
Zayn grunted and dropped himself back on the bed. “Whatever it is that I’m missing, it’s definitely not that.”
“Did Harry give you some rank stuff or something? You’re talking utter shit.”
Zayn held up the spliff that was pinched between his fingers and watched as he rolled it slowly. “Don’t think so. And I’m not talking shit.” He added, and took a hit before passing it over to Louis. “I’m just saying, like. Don’t you ever feel like something’s missing? That there’s more to life than this?”
Louis tried his hardest not to laugh, so what came out instead was some kind of giggle-snort hybrid. “You mean more to life than smoking and drinking our lives away? I doubt it.”
“Fuck, forget it.” Zayn sighed, and sat up properly. Louis did the same, because it felt a bit odd having Zayn hovering over him like that. He was tucking his legs under his ass when Zayn muttered “We don’t just drink and smoke. We skate too. And go to Uni.”
“Rarely.” Louis laughed, and passed the joint back to Zayn. “When was the last time we went – “
“Yesterday.”
“- And actually stayed for a whole lecture?”
“Oh.” Zayn grunted, and put his hand up to rub over his face. Louis got caught for a moment on how his fingers scratched lightly through his dark stubble, but he put it down to the weed. Shit like that always happened when he smoked; Zayn’s fingers and everything they did became that much more noticeable. “Maybe like two weeks ago, for that Psych one about sexuality.”
Louis nodded slowly, because how could he forget that? He’d been incredibly uncomfortable about it all, hearing talk of theories behind homosexuality and bisexuality and about a million other ones that he’d never heard of. He never understood why things couldn’t just be as they were, without any explanations and labels and hypotheses behind whose dick goes where and why.
“I liked that lecture.” Zayn said, face scrunched up, obviously thinking hard. “It was interesting to hear about that stuff. Like, the prostate. I didn’t even know that was a thing. Not exactly something they teach you about in school.”
“Don’t exactly want to encourage boys to start sticking things up their asses, do they?” Louis scoffed, and Zayn grinned back at him.
“Have you ever though?”
Louis blinked, and tried to ignore how hot his cheeks were getting because Zayn was just watching him expectantly. “Ever what?”
“You know,” Zayn rolled his eyes. “Fingered yourself?” Louis coughed, and Zayn grinned. “You have, haven’t you? What’s it like?”
“I don’t know. Good, I guess.”
“Was it your fingers or someone else’s?”
The way Zayn was looking at him had Louis shifting on the bed until he was cross legged, so at least he had his knees in between them. Zayn’s eyes were lit up, like he was honestly excited about listening to talk about ass-play, and it was making Louis’ insides squirm. “Someone else’s. An ex’s, while she was blowing me.”
“Did it make it feel better?”
“Yeah, it did.” Louis muttered back, and he could have sworn that Zayn was closer. “This is a little gay, isn’t it?”
Zayn shrugged. “We talk about sex all the time, just because it’s about ass stuff doesn’t make it gay. Besides, what’s wrong with a little gay? It never hurt anyone.” He was grinning now, in this charmingly lopsided way that he’d perfected.
“I s’pose. You on the turn?” Louis joked, and Zayn shrugged.
“Maybe. Wouldn’t mind giving a guy a go. You ever thought about it?”
The air in the room had become thicker all of a sudden, or at least it felt like it; it was becoming that much harder to breathe. Zayn was staring him down, eyes unwavering in their assault at Louis’ defences. Like he could read his mind, really. “I… yeah?” Because he had, in all honesty, a few times. When he’d felt Zayn’s fingers wrap around his wrist, or watched him bend down to pick up his skateboard.
Zayn nodded and smiled like he knew. “So do you want to?”
“What?” Louis choked, and took the spliff from Zayn because his mate had obviously had too much.
Zayn waited until Louis had inhaled some before he asked “Do you want to give it a go with me?”
Which had Louis coughing when he said “What a go?”
“Stuff. Wanna make out?”
“Zayn, what the fuck?”
“We may as well.” He shrugged, like the possibility of their entire friendship being ruined hadn’t occurred to him.
Which had Louis thinking that maybe it wasn’t such a big deal. It only would be if he made it one, so perhaps if he just acted casual about it how Zayn was, then it wouldn’t be so weird. “You want to make out?” he asked, just in case his mate was taking the piss.
“Yeah, I do.”
“All right.” Louis said unsurely, and Zayn grinned.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He repeated, and within seconds he had Zayn’s lips on his.
It was so sudden Louis fell back onto the pillow, and Zayn just followed after him.
His lips were dry, and his stubble was chafing his chin, but it wasn’t exactly unpleasant. It was entirely the opposite, actually. Even when Louis opened his mouth a little and Zayn’s tongue came sliding in and all he could taste was beer and smoke, it was still good. The taste was entirely Zayn and the pace was rough, there was nothing feminine about it, and it was making him hot.
So that when Zayn began to pull back, Louis found himself following up until Zayn pressed at his shoulder until he was against the pillow again.
Zayn was looking down at him, eyes seemingly unable to stick to one spot; flicking between his rapidly moving chest and his flushed cheeks and his wide eyes and his red lips. Louis just looked right back, at how Zayn’s thighs were on either side of his hips but somehow they weren’t touching anymore.
“So?” Louis asked, and Zayn’s eyes moved back up to meet his.
“It’s good.” He grinned, and let his ass fall so he was now sitting on Louis’ thighs. “What do you think?”
“Yeah. It’s different, but good. Think I’m gonna get beard rash.”
Zayn laughed, and scratched at Louis’ stubble with his fingers. “Same here. I’m gonna do it again, all right?”
“Yes, it’s fucking all right.” Louis rolled his eyes, and this time when Zayn leant in he put a hand against the back of his head to hold him there. Zayn did the same, knotting his fingers through Louis’ hair, and tilted his chin so their lips fit just right.
Then Zayn pulled back again, and Louis groaned. “What now?”
“I think the main difference is that I can be rough, you know? Like –“ Zayn tugged on Louis’ hair until he gasped out. “that.”
“Yeah? Like this?” Louis grunted, and dug his fingers into the back of Zayn’s neck until he was lower enough for Louis to lick into his mouth and bite at his lips.
It had Zayn rutting down into Louis, and groaning out a fuck. “Forgot that would be there.”
“What?” Louis gasped, then moved his hands down to grip Zayn’s ass because the friction felt incredible.
“You’re kinda hard. Feels good.” Zayn choked out. Then his mouth found Louis’ and they were kissing again, only faster and rougher and bruising. Zayn’s hips were getting frantic, and his hands were snaking their way down Louis’ chest and back up beneath his shirt, pushing it until it was bunched beneath his arms. “Take it off.” It came out guttural, like a demand, and fuck but Louis felt it in his cock. He tugged his shirt up and off, and made quick work of Zayn’s, before flopping back down onto the bed. Zayn was just staring at Louis’ chest now, and just as Louis was bringing his arms up to cover himself a little Zayn gripped his forearms and grunted “Don’t.”
“Expecting tits?” Louis joked; he tried to, anyway, but the humour was a little ruined when his voice cracked.
Zayn still smiled, though, before leaning down to lick a stripe up Louis’ navel to his left nipple and began to suck.
“Shit.” Louis shivered, and felt Zayn’s lips smiling against him. “Feels good. Didn’t expect that.”
“No one ever suck your tits before, Lou?” Zayn laughed, and Louis slapped him on the back of his head. But left his hand there to keep Zayn in place.
“Someone suck yours, then?”
“Yeah. This girl was fucking obsessed with my piercing. She could do some crazy shit with her tongue.”
It had Louis pushing Zayn onto the bed, that reminder, and straddling his hips.
“I’ve heard I got a pretty good tongue.” He said, wiggling his eyebrows until Zayn grinned.
“Go on then.”
So Louis did, putting his lips around Zayn’s nipple and sucking lightly. He flicked his tongue out and began playing with the nub, alternating between kitten licks and hard presses, before taking the nipple ring between his teeth and tugging gently.
“Fuck.” Zayn croaked, and rutted his hips up into Louis’ thigh. “How far are we gonna take this, man? We’re getting each other off, yeah?”
Louis kissed the wings tattooed beneath Zayn’s collarbones, then the words along his rib, then licked a trail down to the love heart on his V, and looked up at Zayn from beneath his lashes before he began to suck at his skin. Zayn was watching him with hooded lids, and his nails were scratching at Louis’ scalp. “How far you want me to go?”
“Fuck, Louis.” Zayn groaned again, like it was all he was capable of saying; like it was the only thing running through his mind. His stomach muscles were clenching inches away from Louis’ eyes, he could see how worked up Zayn was getting, and suddenly it became crucial for him to be able to see his mate utterly spent. So when Zayn grunted “All the fucking way” Louis didn’t even hesitate pulling his trousers off and taking his cock out of his pants.
It sprang up, head already leaking when Louis wrapped his fingers around him. It felt different to his own; longer but a little thinner, skin softer yet hair at the base darker and coarser.
Louis moved his hand up and down slowly, getting a feel for him, careful not to go too fast when he was so dry. “You got, like, lube or something?”
“Nah. Shit, just use your spit. I don’t even fucking care right now.”
Louis swiped his thumb over the head, gathering up the small bit of pre cum before spreading what he could over Zayn’s length, but it was still not enough.
“Fuck it.” Louis grunted, and began to lick up Zayn’s shaft. Zayn bucked up at the unexpected feel of his tongue, and Louis was just glad his throat hadn’t been around Zayn’s cock when that happened.
“Shit, Lou. Not exactly meant by use your spit but this works too.”
Louis grinned at that, and how laboured Zayn’s breathing was getting, before he wrapped his lips around Zayn’s cock head and began to suck.
Zayn spluttered out a breath, and this time Louis’ hands were holding Zayn’s hips down so that when he bucked it didn’t cause too much damage. Yeah, Louis choked a bit, but it wasn’t so bad. Kinda hot, actually.
“Shit, fuck, shit.” Zayn grunted, as Louis sloppily worked his way up and down. He released Zayn's hip with one of his hands so that he could wrap it around the base of Zayn’s cock and tug up until his thumb and pointer finger met his lips.
He used his tongue to trace patterns on the underside, and to lick into the slit whenever he pulled up high enough. He moved his other hand from Zayn’s hips to cup his balls, then moved it up to slip a finger in his mouth beside Zayn’s cock and sucked until it was practically dripping with saliva.
Louis pulled off with a pop and asked, voice gravelly, “You want to try the ass thing now?”
“Yeah, okay. I swear I’m gonna come soon so make it quick.”
“You don’t want it quick.” Louis laughed, and ran his wet finger around Zayn’s hole. Then he slid it inside Zayn just as his lips found their way back around his cock and he sucked.
“Fuck that’s weird.” Zayn grunted, and Louis looked up to see his eyes were tightly shut.
So Louis wiggled his finger in and out, crooking upwards like how he remembered it, and stopped when Zayn bucked up.
“Woah.”
Louis moved his fingertip a little, and Zayn bucked again.
“Fuck, there. Don’t move.” So Louis stilled, and Zayn grunted “No, move. I meant don’t move from that spot. It feels… shit.”
Louis was rubbing that spot now, almost as relentless as his tongue against the head of Zayn’s cock, until he was shooting come into Louis’ mouth.
Louis pulled back quick, getting come all over his chin and throat.
“Sorry.” Zayn laughed, and Louis slapped his stomach hard.
“Dick.”
“Fuck, though. That was insane. You should start selling those.”
Louis rolled his eyes and crawled up Zayn’s body to kiss him.
When Zayn started licking himself out of Louis mouth, though, Louis whined in his throat and pulled back. “I’m fucking dying over here. You gonna touch me or what?”
“You want the ass thing too?”
Louis rolled onto his back and let Zayn climb on top of him. It was like how they first started, Zayn straddling his thighs, but only this time Zayn was a lot less clothed. “Do you know what you’re looking for?”
“The prostate.”
“Yeah, but do you know where to look?”
“It’s like – up a bit, isn’t it?”
“I want to do something else.” Louis suggested, and Zayn tilted his head.
“All ears over here.”
“I don’t think its gonna take much to finish me off right now.”
“So…?”
“So, could you maybe just – move a bit?”
“What?”
Louis felt himself heating up, amazed that this of all things was embarrassing him. “Like, just, what we were doing before? Where you were just pushing against me?”
“You want to fuck my thigh.”
“Yeah, I guess.” Louis muttered, and Zayn frowned.
“But I want to try sucking you off.”
“Another time?”
Zayn’s face lit up at that. “Yeah?”
“Yeah, if you want.”
“All right, yeah. So right now you just want friction?”
“Yeah. And like, the kissing was good too.”
“Yeah?”
“Fuck. Yes, all right?” Louis growled, because Zayn was just smirking down at him, wiggling his ass a little where it was sat on Louis’ thighs.
“Okay, mate, don’t get in a strop.” Zayn laughed, and lay down so that his chest was flat against Louis’ and his thigh was sliding in between Louis’ legs. Then he jiggled his leg a bit, and rubbed up against the denim. “You want your pants off or what?”
“Yeah.” Louis grunted, because his cock was stiff against the inseam of his jeans and it was killing him.
So Zayn popped his button and pulled at his zip and tugged Louis’ jeans until they were all the way off him. “Fuck, you got a nice ass.”
“Hey!”
“What?” Zayn grinned, and squeezed one of his cheeks. “Hot thighs, too. We gotta try thigh fucking some time. When we actually got lube.”
“Fine, just do something, yeah?”
Zayn slid back up Louis’ body and kissed beneath his jaw. “That a yes, then? I’m gonna remember that.”
“I’ve been on edge for forever, Malik. You better fucking do something soon or you’re not getting anywhere near my ass.”
“Fine.” Zayn rolled his eyes, and bit Louis’ lip. When Louis opened his mouth to protest, Zayn slid his tongue right in and began to thrust his hips downwards, rocking his leg against Louis’ cock until the older boy was groaning.
Louis bucked up against Zayn’s rolling hips, and snuck a hand around to press him down harder.
Then Zayn’s kissing started getting rougher.
A hand was tugging at his hair and the other was gripping his jaw so hard his fingertips felt bruising, and fuck but Louis loved it; loved how Zayn was pressing him down into the mattress all over, how his teeth were digging into Louis’ lips when his mouth fell open to let out a silent scream.
And how, even when Louis was coming between them, Zayn kept rocking back and forth and back and forth until Louis was whimpering into Zayn’s mouth.
He was still trying to suck in oxygen when Zayn rolled off him with a grunted Fuck.
“You know any other words?” Louis said with a grin, and Zayn smiled right back.
“You can talk. Oh fuck, Zayn, fuuuuuck.” Zayn mimicked, and Louis scrunched up his face because he didn’t remember saying that. “It was pretty fucking great though. You totally gotta try the ass thing next time.”
“You gotta get lube first, you’re not going anywhere near my ass without it, no matter how desperate you are for it.”
Zayn laughed as he pushed himself up onto his elbows, though stopped when he caught sight of their naked bodies covered in a mix of sweat and come. “We better clean up, yeah? This is probably where Niall’s grandma sleeps when she comes over to visit.”
“That’s disgusting.” Louis said, and pushed himself out of bed to pick up his pants that had fell on the floor. Except they weren’t his, they were Zayn’s, so he threw them at his mate to look for his own.
“Oi, I just realised something.”
“What?” he asked, just as he was lifting the duvet to see if his jeans had somehow managed to get underneath.
“They’re at the end of the bed on the floor.” Zayn pointed, then began to pull his own pants on just as Louis spotted his. “Anyway, like I was saying, I just realised that you had your finger up my ass.”
Louis stopped, and raised an eyebrow at Zayn. “Yeah?” He grunted, because he wasn’t exactly sure where Zayn was going to go with this and he didn’t want to say anything that would have him crucified later. Like, yeah, there was talk about next times, but that was during.
“It’s kinda funny, isn’t it? You fingered me.”
“Yeah, and you liked it.”
“Well, obviously. It was fucking amazing. You’re gonna have to teach me how to give head cause fuck you were good. I gotta be at least relatively all right at it when I return the favour.”
That had Louis blushing, Zayn’s blatant admiration, especially considering it was about how well he could suck a dick. “So there will be a next time, then?”
Zayn shrugged, and pulled on his shirt. “I’m down with it if you are. I really wanna finger you.”
Louis coughed, and sat on the end of the bed to pull his jeans on. When he had them zipped up, he ran his hand through his hair to mess it up a bit; to loosen it from where it was sweaty and stuck to his forehead. “You want to go out now?”
“Like on a date?” Zayn smirked, and Louis reach across the bed to punch his thigh.
“I meant out of the room, you twat. There’s still a party going on out there, last I heard.”
Zayn pursed his lips, and Louis took his silence as the perfect opportunity to put on his shirt. “We still have a few beers left, and we haven’t finished the spliff. May as well do that in here.” He finally said with a shrug, and Louis nodded.
He jumped back on the bed beside Zayn, settling himself against the headboard while he watched his mate pick up the joint from the bedside table and light it up again. He watched him inhale, then took it from Zayn when it was offered to him.
He was surprised how normal it felt considering what they’d just done; to be smoking with Zayn right after coming all over his stomach.
It was why he was still a bit shocked when Zayn leaned in to kiss him, letting the smoke free from his mouth between them.
“I think I found it.” Zayn muttered, and bit at Louis’ lip when the other boy didn’t reply.
“Found what?” he asked, only so Zayn would carry on sucking at his tongue.
“The thing I was missing.”
“If you say that it was me, I will never allow you access to my ass.”
Zayn frowned, and pulled back. “Seriously?”
“Holy fuck, you were going to say me weren’t you?” Louis scoffed, and it was Zayn’s turn to pinch his skin.
“More like your mouth and your fingers.” Zayn muttered, actually looking a little hurt.
So Louis grinned and took a hit before pressing his lips against Zayn’s and blowing. Zayn took the hint, luckily, and sucked in the smoke. “That’s sweet. I guess you can still touch my ass then. And blow me, if you must.”
“Yeah?” Zayn grinned, and climbed up onto Louis’ lap.
“Not yet, mate! I don’t know what you’re like, but I’ve actually got a refractory period.”
Then Zayn climbed off his lap to get to the other side of the bed, and reached down to pick up what was left of the beer. He pushed a can into Louis’ hands, then settled back beside him and took a sip.
Louis watched him, at how at peace with himself Zayn looked, and took a swig of his own beer. “It’s really going to be normal between us, then?”
That made Zayn look back at him and shrug. “Of course. Just now, we’ll fuck around a bit. It was only a matter of time before we started, really. We do everything else together.”
“I suppose.”
“Don’t worry mate, it’s still gonna be how it’s always been. I’m still gonna thrash you at Xbox, and you’ll still be the better skater. We’ll still go to lectures and bung off halfway through to get high behind W Block. Just maybe now we’ll share milkshakes and hold hands and actually call each other instead of text so we can have that beautiful no, you hang up moment to solidify our relationship.”
“You’re such a fucking twat.” Louis laughed, and Zayn grinned right back.
And sighed, long and loud. “I'm your twat though.”
Which earned him another punch to the arm from his best mate Louis.