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Keith was…kissing him?
They’d been hanging out, starting over from square one on the friendship front after finally declaring a tentative cease-fire. They talked now; they sought after one another first out of obligation to the team, then out of habit, then just because they wanted to. They were friends, finally, actually friends with no caveat of rivalry.
And Lance was being kissed. By Keith.
Like right now. And Lance wasn’t doing anything about it.
It was like time had slowed down, or the universe had decided to concentrate all of its reality into the tiny space of Lace’s room. Everything was too much and too slow but Lance still wasn’t doing anything and any second now everything would crash back into what it should be and he’d have to make a choice.
If Lance were going to be honest, to himself and to Keith, he should pull back. He should push Keith away, gently, and explain…
Explain what? Explain that this isn’t what he wanted? Or was he explaining that this isn’t what he’d planned? He had no idea what, exactly, needed explaining but he knew for a fact that he and Keith were absolutely not on the same page and apparently hadn’t been for some time now. If he were going to be honest he needed to tell Keith that he didn’t want him like that. Like this.
Lance could feel time coming back to itself, he could feel the pinpointed light of the universe that inhabited his bedroom was ready to burst outward again. He should stop this, and he should stop it now.
His eyes were closed, an instinct left over from high school parties and games of spin the bottle, but he could see one of Keith’s rare smiles in his mind’s eye. He realized with a pang as everything collided into existence around them that Keith had smiled more in the past few weeks than Lance had seen him smile in the years that he’d known him.
And Lance had never been an honest person anyway.
Kissing Keith back wasn’t what he would have imagined it to be, if he’d imagined it at all before two seconds ago. It was soft. Keith was soft in a way Lance wasn’t really okay with. Keith meant this, he meant this and Lance couldn’t, not the way he should.
He couldn’t mean it but he couldn’t take it back so the hand that should have pushed Keith away cupped his cheek instead.
Was it so bad, giving him this? Keith was alone, and Lance was there. Lance had told Keith that he’d be there for him and he’d meant it. Would it be so bad to…be there? Like this? Keith needed him. Keith wanted him.
Lance missed being wanted.
Keith pulled back, their lips parted with an agonizingly gentle sound. Lance opened his eyes to see Keith quietly watching him. He hadn’t gone far, Lance could still feel Keith’s light breathing across his cheek and the hammer of his pulse under Lance’s hand. He was happy, Lance could tell. Under the tension, under the fear of rejection, Keith was happy because of Lance.
God knows how long they’d been fighting this war, winning battles and defeating enemies, and Lance had never in his life felt more powerful than he did in that moment.
“You too?” Keith’s question was quiet, even so close to Lance’s ears.
Lance didn’t answer.
He did pull Keith close for a kiss.