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Minerva McGonagall Apparated into the alley just off Spinner's End. She'd been there before, of course, but not often. Severus took care to keep his school life separated from his other obligations.
She drew in a deep breath, and immediately regretted it. The air was fetid with decay.
If she were wrong, she would regret this. Oh, bloody hell, she thought, if she were wrong, she would be dead. And they probably wouldn't find her body.
It had hurt to hear Harry declare Severus' guilt so baldy, so finally. She'd been unable to defend him. In truth, she'd been shocked to her soul. Only until she'd had a moment to think it through. Only until she remembered that this was Severus and nothing he did was ever what it seemed.
She'd spoken with Albus more than once about Draco's feeble attempts on his life. He had believed the boy unable to kill. It spoke highly of Draco's ability to be redeemed.
Which was all well and good, except that it would be Severus who bore the brunt of Draco's redemption. Albus had felt this was acceptable. Minerva, on the other hand, had felt Severus had too many scars on his soul as it was.
Albus wouldn't listen. And of course, it had gone as Albus wanted it to go. With Severus doing the work that the boy could not. Or at least, that was what she supposed. It was possible she was wrong.
She straightened her shoulders and peered around the edge of the building, looking up the dark, empty street. There was no sound as she slid into the shadow of the building and made her way to the correct address.
Her heart was pounding hard as she tapped on the scratched wooden door. She might be wrong.
It opened, and a shaft of light spilled out onto the dark street. Severus stood framed in the doorway, his wand out. He looked at her. For one second, before his face shuddered completely, the truth was in his eyes.
"What do you want?" he demanded, snarling.
Minerva could smell the whiskey on his breath. "To speak to you."
"Go away. You're not welcome here." Severus tried to close the door, but she put her foot in the opening and pushed. She wasn't strong enough to actually force her way in, not if he truly didn't want to allow it. The door didn't close.
"Go away, Minerva. It's dangerous for you to be seen here." His tone was angry. It could be fear or it could be guilt.
Or a touch of both, she thought. "Then it would behoove you to allow me in."
"Don't you ever take no for an answer?"
"Not usually." She slipped through the barely adequate space that Severus had allowed her. "Are you alone?"
"For the moment, anyway." He closed the door and turned to her. His eyes seemed to rake over her face.
Minerva shivered under his scrutiny, wondering what he might be looking for. "I know what happened. I understand."
"Is that what you risked your life to tell me? Surely you cannot be that stupid. Oh, wait, you're a Gryffindor, of course you are." He sounded even more furious, now.
She glared at him. "I'll thank you to remember that it's my life to risk."
Strangely, he smiled at that. "Oh, I'm not likely to forget. Now that you've said it, will you leave?"
"You'll need a new contact," Minerva said. "I will not allow you to isolate yourself because of what you've been forced to do."
"You're so sure it was forced?"
Minerva met his eyes with all her certainty. "Completely."
"You're a fool," he said, but there was something just a bit stronger in his voice. "There is no one else who will believe you."
She shook her head. There was no use in arguing with him.
Severus scowled. "You're the Headmistress. There are too many people depending upon you for you to be here, now. Or to consider coming here again."
Closing her eyes, she sighed. He wasn't wrong. "It is still not your choice. Albus was your contact, too."
"I was at Hogwarts. It made more sense. He stepped closer, the edge of his robe brushing against hers. "Let Kingsley do it. Or even Lupin. Any other Order member for that matter. Not you."
"You've seen to it there will be few volunteers." In all likelihood, she could convince at least some of the Order members of what she knew.
And Severus knew that, too. "Someone else. And you must go, now."
"If I do not wish to go. Nor do I wish to see you this alone," she said, looking into his face, and seeing his pain.
"You must," he whispered. "Please."
It was his tone that convinced her. She leaned forward and kissed his mouth softly. For one small fraction of a moment, he responded, his lips softening, his hands reaching out. But he pulled back before touching her. And he frowned, hurt in his eyes.
"Except for a short time, I've always been alone. And I will be again. It is of no consequence. I must do what must be done." He was telling her something, something she didn't want to hear.
"It doesn't have to be that way." Because she didn't want it to be that way.
"You know as well as I do that it does. There is no place for such things in war."
"They are the things that make a war worth fighting. They make life bearable." Even as she said it, she knew it was too late.
"Not for me."
As much as she didn't want to accept that, as much as she wanted to throw the words back at him, she couldn't. It was his choice. She drew in a harsh breath and forced herself not let it show. "I'll find someone to trust. They will contact you."
Severus looked like he might refuse, but instead nodded. "All right. Go now."
She hesitated for another moment, memorizing his face, ugly in the candle light, but then it always had been. Without a word, she slipped out the door, and hurried back to the alley.
When she returned to Albus'…her office, she sank into a chair by the fire. For several long moments, she stared at it, watching it burn brightly and then put her head in her hands, and wept.
--finis
August 2005