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She opens her eyes and closes them quickly, the lights are too bright.
She can’t get herself to speak, but she can hear the sound of rushed voices, people running, screaming. She can’t feel her body on its integrity, something is wrong. She hears enough to know she is in a hospital.
She can understand disconnected words from the talking. Bullet. Surgery. Broken. Wounds. Blood.
Something is wrong. Something is out of place.
She closes her eyes.
More rushed voices. She can hear the squeaking of wheels.
Her eyes open and she tries to speak again.
“Don’t try to speak, darling” a female voice tells her when she opens her mouth. “It’s alright now, we’re going to take care of you”
“Doc-- Doctor” it comes through her lips in a hoarse sound.
“We have a good team working on you, sweetie, you’re gonna be fine,” the woman said reassuringly.
The agent tries to shake her head in a ‘no' but fails. She feels dizzy, her vision blurry. She must have been drugged, it would explain why she can’t feel her body.
Once again she attempts to see something, to understand.
There’s heat coming from her wrist. She opens her eyes and finds maroon ones looking back at her.
Her heart beating increases, she tries to speak again but sees when the men who touched her wrists injects something into one of the tubes connected to her.
A name dies in her lips while darkness hits her.
Lecter
Clarice Starling was not in the hospital when she opened her eyes. In fact, she wasn’t sure about where she was. The place seemed oddly familiar, though.
“Clarice” she heard the calling and turned around to find Dr. Lecter sitting behind a desk.
His office. That was where she was. She had seen photos of it, but she had never been there.
“Doctor, what am I doing here? I was in the hospital… Is this…?”
“A drug induced hallucination” he finished.
“Then, I’m not really talking to you”
The good doctor did not reply.
“Where is my body, Doctor?”
“At the hospital” he answered.
“Did you cause this? This hallucination?”
“Does it matter?”
“Yes, it does”
“You’ve been under surgery, Clarice. You were seriously injured in that mission of yours”
“Am I dead?”
“No”
“Am I still in surgery?”
“Again, my dear, does it matter? You won’t be able to wake up until your body is healed”
“What if it doesn’t heal?”
“It will”
“How can you be so sure?” she studies his expression. “You really were there, weren’t you? You were at the hospital… Are you…? You’re my surgeon, aren’t you?”
Lecter does not answer right away. “I would not trust anyone else to treat you”
“Why?” she questions.
“The world is still more interesting with you in it”
He gets up from his chair and walks towards her, he gestures for her to take a seat in one of the armchairs. There are two of them, one facing the other. She knows that, depending on which one she chooses, he’ll know something new about her and how much she trusts him.
She decides to show trust, finally picking her chair and watching as he sat on his own.
“Why are we here, Doctor?” she questions.
“I believe I am the psychiatrist, my dear”
“I’m not your patient, Dr. Lecter”
“At this exact moment, yes, you are”
“Not as a psychiatric one ”
He gives her a small smile. “Is there something bothering you? Physically?”
“No”
“Good”
“You say the world is more interesting with me on it, but we’ve been in contact for years. Why now?”
“You needed help”
“Any doctor could do this surgery”
“But not any doctor could make sure you’d survive”
“How bad is it?”
“You’ll live, Clarice”
“Are you saying this to me? Or to yourself?”
“I’m saying this as your physician”
“Doctors lie all the time”
“Have you known me to lie to you, my dear?”
“You were never my doctor before… How bad it is?”
“You’ll be away from the Bureau for some time”
Clarice sighs, she feels frustrated.
“What about you?” she questions sounding defeated. “You can expect me to believe you came by to take care of me and leave”
“I would never expect you to believe that”
“Well?”
“I believe this medical leave of yours will be of good use”
“What do you mean?”
“Someone has to watch you”
“You can’t--”
“I believe I very much can, my dear”
“You know I’ll have to report your presence the moment I wake up”
“Eager to get rid of me”
It takes her longer to answer than she would have liked. “It’s my job, Doctor, and you know it”
“It is also my job to save lives, yet you were surprised to find me saving yours”
“This is different”
“How so?”
She paused, closing her mouth. She does not have an answer for that.
“They would very much like it if you died, my dear” he comments and she faces him.
“Doctor, I’m on a surgery table. Can we please not go back to the dungeon days?”
“Have you visited it? The dungeon?”
“No. Have you?”
“No, I have no reason to go there”
“Where have you been, Doctor?”
“Are we back to professional, Agent Starling?”
“It’s not like I can tell anyone now”
“I’ll show you where I was someday”
Her eyes study him carefully. “This is not possible”
“I assure you, Clarice, it is very much possible”
“My job is to arrest you, Doctor”
“Yet we’ve never been the usual enemies, have we, dear?”
She does not answer, she merely leans back into the chair.
“Did Jack ever realize what he did? Does he know your motivations?”
“Do you know?”
“I would not be foolish and expect to predict you, Clarice”
“Then how do you know I won’t shoot you the moment I wake up?”
“I don’t, but you do not have your gun nor a reason to shoot me. As much as I don’t have a reason to call on you”
“Yet here you are”
“I have no intention to harm you, Clarice. If I did, you’d be dead by now”
“You think about it, don’t you, Doctor? Killing me? How would you do it?”
He observes, interested by the turn she decided to take. “You would not be in pain, I’d make sure of that. Have you entertained thoughts of killing me, dear?”
“No”
“Yet imprisonment would be a fate worse than death. Tell me, Clarice, how would you feel to know that I killed myself after you sent back to the dungeon?”
“You wouldn’t--”
“Wouldn’t I? Are you sure?”
Her words died in her mouth. She glanced away, thinking, trying to erase the feeling of betrayal the idea of him committing suicide brought to her chest.
“Don’t lie to me, Clarice” he said in advance and she turned to look at him.
“Betrayed” Starling finally answered.
His expression was unreadable for a moment.
“How would you feel if I killed myself?” she questioned.
“My dear, I’ve considered the possibility of both our deaths before. Suicide does not seem to be an unfitting decision for you, especially if you continue with your precious FBI”
She watches him attentively.
“I’d be very sorry, Clarice” he replied.
“Would you do it, Doctor? Would you kill me, if I asked you to?”
Hannibal observed her expression for a long moment, but he could not decide if she had any intention to ask him to end her life or not.
“Yes,” he said.
Her chest felt heavy, constricted. What a mess they had made of themselves, what a tragedy they were. When did he become the only person who really knew her? When did he become the only true ally?
Her chest was burning, she felt like crying. Her body was aching. Clarice didn’t realize she was sobbing until he had knelt in front of her handing her a handkerchief.
She didn’t fight him when his arms wrapped around her, nor did she move away when he caressed her back and stopped his hand at the back of her head.
“Doctor?”
“You’re going into shock, my dear” he stated and she realized she was shaking.
“Doctor” her voice sounded worried.
“I’ll be with you when you wake up”
“We can’t--”
“Clarice, you’re a patient in a hospital, I’m your physician. We’re safe for now. Now, my dear, close your eyes.
She complied.
When Clarice woke up she found herself in the darkness of her hospital bedroom. Hannibal Lecter was asleep in the armchair next to her bed.
As if sensing her staring, his eyes opened. Maroon meeting blue.
“Good evening, Clarice”
“Good evening, Doctor”