Work Text:
“Jin hyung, are you alright?”
“I think I may have a cold-” Seokjin is cut off by a sudden onslaught of disgusting, guttural coughing that has him keeling over.
“Hey,” Namjoon murmurs, stepping closer to lay a heavy hand on Jin’s shaking back, “we should get you to bed.”
Once Seokjin is able to open his eyes, he nods slowly.
“Hoseokie,” Namjoon calls over his shoulder, “make sure everybody else has got that eight count solid. Once you’re sure everybody is where they need to be, you can head back to the dorm.”
Hoseok nods, watching Seokjin worriedly as the two stumble out of the practice room.
“I hope Jin hyung’s alright,” Taehyung murmurs absently as the door slams shut behind them.
“Me too,” Hoseok mumbles before turning back to the other three boys. “Okay, maknaes, we have work to do.” he claps his hands together and plasters a smile on his bright face.
The three youngest all groan in unison, standing up from their seats on the cold wooden floor. “If Yoongi hyung were here you’d go easy on us,” Jungkook mumbles.
Jimin nods fervently in agreement, his bottom lip jutted out. Yoongi had stayed back at the dorm to work on writing new lyrics, promising to go with Hoseok to the practice room one of these days to catch up on what he misses.
“Right you are,” Hoseok says chirpily. “Let’s rep it again, shall we?”
Needless to say, that one simple cold that Seokjin caught, managed make it’s way through just about every member of their group, somehow avoiding Jungkook- then again, Jungkook is basically impenetrable so it’s not like they were surprised.
After the cold had done its damage on Seokjin, it moved on to Namjoon who was the closest to the sick boy. Before it was done with Namjoon, Hoseok began coughing and feeling lightheaded during rehearsal. It floated over Jimin, his symptoms being the least detrimental, and then to Yoongi, who didn’t seem that effected by it, though there was a certain tiredness to his eyes.
But, most of the time this minor cold was floating around their group, Taehyung could be found in the restroom, boiling hot water washing the skin off his hands, and refusing to touch anybody. He wore his masks constantly and thought about resorting to wearing gloves on some stressful days.
Taehyung hates colds.
The other members don't understand what a cold does to somebody with asthma, and Taehyung doesn't want to have to show them. So, what does he do? He avoids the other boys like… well, like the plague.
But of course, what kind of a story would this be if Taehyung didn’t inevitably contract the cold? A bad one, is the answer to that.
The day Taehyung begins to feel suspicious, is when he wakes up with a sore throat. He keeps quiet about it, washing his hands more often (which is saying something), and hopes it's just a reaction to the biting wind.
He's wrong, of course.
The next day he wakes up with a faucet for a nose, and sneezes his way through getting ready. His chest hurts, and not just like a post-cold pain, but it feels constricted, like when Jungkook is sitting on top of him. All through practice he can hardly catch his breath. But when he starts to see dots, and his eyelids droop he finally speaks up in between reps. “Hey guys,” he calls, putting a hand up as he hunches over.
“What’s up Tae?” Hoseok asks, swiping a hand under his nose. A reminder to Taehyung that he isn't the only one suffering.
Taehyung sighs. “I think I caught that cold.”
Hoseok presses his lips together. “Dang, sorry man,” he says, seeming at a loss for a proper response.
“Should I sit down or something? I feel really tired.” Taehyung rubs at his temples, looking at the floor in front of him, rather that his fellow members. Doing so, he misses the glances passed between them.
“Listen, Tae,” Namjoon says slowly, “we’re only halfway through our prep for comeback, and everybody has dealt with that cold.”
“We're all working really hard,” Hoseok adds, “you just gotta keep pushing, it’ll go away soon and you’ll be back on your feet just like everybody else.”
Taehyung nods quickly and looks up at the others. “You’re right, I’m sorry guys.” He feels so selfish, everybody has caught this cold, it's Taehyung's job to make up for his own shortcomings.
“Don’t worry about it,” Namjoon says waving a dismissive hand in front of his kind smile. “If you start to feel a little too bad though, you should sit down and take a breather.”
Taehyung shakes his head, “I’m good, just a little bit of a hypochondriac.”
The rest of rehearsal Taehyung tries his hardest to stay with the beat and keep up with the others, but his limbs are heavy and he has to stop to catch his breath far too often. He doesn’t miss the wary look shared between Jimin and Jungkook as he stops for the fifth time in one rep to get a drink.
I’m just being a baby. I’m fine.
Taehyung is not fine. A week passes with the same symptoms dragging him down and, honestly, they only seem to be getting worse as he tries to push through. Taehyung does his best to take care of himself when he isn't busy with idol responsibilities, going to bed early, drinking lots of water, taking cold medicine, blowing his nose. But nothing would stop that damn pressure on his lungs, and his throat hurts.
At night, he is surprised the others can sleep with all his coughing and wheezing. Usually, he'll wobble out to the living room and sleep on the couch, hoping he doesn't wake anybody as he bumbles through the dark house.
Sometimes, Taehyung would be dozing on the couch, listening to the sounds of his closed off breaths, and then somebody would sit on the floor in front of him. Taehyung would let them think he's sleeping as they placed their hand in Taehyung’s hair to card their fingers through slowly, speaking quietly to him about how well he’s doing and how the cold symptoms should be going away soon.
Taehyung likes to fall asleep to his voice. The Dague lilt reminds him of home.
The perk to sleeping on the couch is that Taehyung is front and center for any and every private conversation between his friends whenever he wakes up in the mornings.
“You need to keep him in bed, is what I’m saying, Joon.”
“He’s fine hyung, let him sweat it out. We still have to learn a whole ‘nother routine and we can’t have him sitting out for that.”
“If you don’t tell him to stay home and heal, he won’t be sitting out, he’ll be lying on the floor passed out.”
“C’mon, we all went through that cold, Tae’s is just lasting a little longer.”
“You know that his is worse than any of ours was.”
There's a long pause before, “He can come to rehearsal today and if he doesn’t feel well he can sit down.”
“That’s what you said he could do a while back. He isn’t gonna sit out, you know that, all of us are too stubborn to feel like the weak link.”
“Well, I can’t do much else for him.”
Taehyung sits up, the blanket that’d been draped over his torso falling to his hips as he rubs his bleary, congested eyes. He’s met with two blobs that are most likely Namjoon and Yoongi standing in the kitchen. The shorter blob looks over first, “Mornin’ Tae,” Yoongi calls, a little louder than Taehyung was expecting.
Taehyung goes to answer, but when he opens his mouth no sound akin to speech comes out, just a harsh wheezing noise followed by a painful cough. He looks through watery eyes to see Yoongi send a glare to Namjoon.
Namjoon’s hands clench into fists and he grunts, “Get dressed, we’re leaving in twenty minutes.”
By the time Taehyung stumbles into the company building, he can tell his breathing is the loudest sound in the room.
“Tae,” Jimin says quietly, walking up next to him with pinched brows, “did you sleep on the couch again?”
Taehyung nods and scrubs a hand over his face.
“You shouldn’t do that, it’s bad for your back.” Jimin says, tugging on his bottom lip in worry as he takes in Taehyung's ragged state with weary eyes.
“And torture you guys?” Taehyung croaks. “I’ll stick to the couch until this passes, thanks.” He knows he's being short with Jimin, but he feels frustration bubbling inside him and he doesn't know why. He opens the door to the practice room and steps in, holding it open for Jimin to follow behind.
Jimin sighs loudly. “You should sit out for this rehearsal, yeah?” he suggests hopefully. “You can watch and pick up the moves later.”
Taehyung shakes his head as they make their way across the room. He uses the strongest voice he can as he says, “I always learn it best with everybody else. Don’t worry-” his words get caught in his throat, quickly replaced by a fit of painful coughing.
There’s a long breath released in front of him and then Jimin drops a heavy palm on Taehyung's back before pulling away, running a hand through his recently dyed hair in exasperation as he goes to meet Jungkook across the room.
“Tae, go sit by the mirror,” Yoongi calls, tying his shoe.
Taehyung takes in a long - albeit shaky - breath and straightens up, wiping the tears away from his eyes. “No, I’m-” he’s stopped again when he feels his chest constrict, making him cough harsh and loud. But this time, as he’s trying to clear his throat, he finds that he can’t take in enough air to properly cough. He feels like somebody has placed a thick cloth over his mouth and nose, as each breath is so much work and never enough.
The world begins to spin, and he falls to his knees, choking on air and gripping at his chest, beating his sternum with his fist in hopes of clearing whatever is stopping him from breathing.
Seokjin is the first to move, running up behind Taehyung and placing a hand on his shoulder. His mouth flaps for a moment, before he collects himself enough to exclaim, "Tae, what's wrong?"
The others quickly crowd in behind Seokjin, all of them looking panicked and none of them having a solution. Yoongi goes the other direction, though. He turns around and runs to the mirror where their bags are strewn across the floor. He shoves his hands into his duffel, searching around his cluttered Nike bag as quickly as he can, watching in the mirror as Taehyung hunches forward, his palms splayed on the floor as he tries to stay vertical.
Seokjin has his hands on Taehyung’s back and side, his words jumbled together as he tries to get Taehyung to tell him what's wrong.
Jimin and Jungkook are a few steps behind their friend, both looking shell shocked and scared. “What’s happening?” Jimin blurts, watching as Taehyung’s arms don't hold out any longer, causing him to collapse and roll onto his side.
“It’s an asthma attack,” Yoongi calls back, finally finding purchase on the inhaler he’d stuffed into his bag this morning. He scrambles over to Taehyung, and wishes he had been faster. Taehyung's face has taken on a purple tone, his lips more blue, and his eyes are bloodshot. His gaze is vacant and his breaths come in short wheezes.
Yoongi leans over him and shakes up the inhaler before placing the nozzle between Taehyung's trembling lips. He pushes down hard on the container, hearing the burst of medication and waiting in anticipation.
One of Taehyung's wheezing breaths in lasts a little longer, shaky, but progress. He blinks a few times before closing his eyes, his skin returning to a more natural shade.
Yoongi waits a good thirty seconds before shaking the inhaler up again, leaning in and placing it between his lips to press down. This time, Taehyung’s breathing seems to even out a little bit.
Hoseok visibly relaxes from where he’s sat with his back against the mirror biting his nails, and Namjoon leans back on the wall, the thump of his shoulders an echo in the room.
“He’s okay?” Jungkook asks quietly.
Yoongi looks down at Taehyung’s pale face, his heart clenching. “He’s definitely not in the best shape, but he’s going to be fine, yeah.”
“How did you know how to do that?” Seokjin asks, rolling back on his heels from his crouch.
“My brother used to have asthma attacks a lot, I know what they look like and when somebody is about to have one.” Yoongi murmurs, running a hand through Taehyung’s hair. “Can we go back to the dorm?” he asks, looking up at Namjoon.
Namjoon jolts as Yoongi makes eye contact with him suddenly. “Y-Yeah, go back. Actually, let’s all go back. We can all have a day for rest, I’ll deal with the managers.”
Everybody seems to nod in unison as they go about gathering their things. Jimin grabbing Yoongi's bag so he doesn't have to leave Taehyung's side.
“I have Tae’s stuff if you want to help him to the car, Yoongi hyung.” Hoseok calls, holding open the door for Namjoon as the elder steps out.
Yoongi loops an arm under Taehyung and urges him into a sitting position. “Here, take another breath,” he says, shaking up the inhaler and holding it out to Taehyung, this time allowing him to administer it himself.
Taehyung takes the object with both his hands and brings it to his lips, taking a deep breath.
“You think you can stand?” Yoongi asks, standing up and moving to grip Taehyung under the shoulders.
Taehyung nods and tries to push himself off the floor, though his tennis shoes slip fruitlessly on the hardwood beneath him.
Finally, with the help of Jungkook, Taehyung is able to find his footing with Yoongi and Jungkook flanking him on either side. His feet hardly move as they walk out of the room. Taehyung keeps his head hung as he takes slow even breaths, letting Jungkook and Yoongi support his weight.
“Watch your head,” Yoongi murmurs as they approach the car. The two help Taehyung into the backseat, Yoongi leaning over him to buckle him in before shutting the door and going to the other side to sit next to him.
The rest of the group all pile into the car in silence, a strange air surrounding them as they all look at their laps. As Seokjin begins driving them back to the dorm, Taehyung leans back in his seat with his eyes closed, Yoongi holding his hand and stroking his thumb over the back of it soothingly. He's embarrassed. Mortified. But Yoongi makes him feel like it's okay.
“I’m sorry Tae,” Namjoon’s voice cuts through the silence like a knife, a very woeful one at that. “I’ve always tried to make sure that we aren’t like those other idol groups that will overwork themselves or starve themselves to get where they need to be. I always want us healthy because I believe that’s how we can perform our best.” He paused, twisting his fingers in his lap, “I got caught up in the comeback and didn’t think about your health- or anybody else’s, really. We all got sick but I made sure to push everybody to their limit. I’m sorry I wasn’t more considerate of the fact that you have asthma and a cold affects you differently.” He let out a shaky exhale. “I’m going to request to push back the comeback a little so we can rest. Not all of us have the cold completely out of our systems and I think we should only continue with our work once we are at one hundred percent.”
Taehyung opens his eyes halfway through Namjoon’s speech, hoping to cut him off at tell him that it wasn’t his fault, but his voice is hoarse and it hurts to speak. His heart jumped to his throat when Namjoon said he wanted to push the comeback. Yet, in a croaking, grating voice Taehyung says, “It’s not your fault, hyung.” He wants to say more, tell him he's fine, and that it's nobody's fault but his own.
Namjoon shakes his head, full of guilt.
“You should take it easy on the talking Tae,” Seokjin calls, “you can say what you’d like later, once you feel better.”
Taehyung nods, but leans to the front seat and puts a hand on Namjoon’s shoulder, squeezing it as a sign of comfort, forgiveness, and as many other things that he could convey with a simple squeeze of the shoulder.
When they get back to the dorm Taehyung is feeling a little better, so he’s able to stand and walk on his own, though Jungkook and Yoongi still flank him and Jimin is walking close behind him. Hoseok and Seokjin are leading them up the stairs, speaking in hushed voices about who knows what and Namjoon walks behind Jimin, looking dejected.
“You should go lay down,” Yoongi says as soon as they step inside, taking off his coat and hanging it on the rack by the door then motioning for Taehyung to hand him his.
Taehyung removes his coat and gives it to Yoongi, then turns around and walks to his bedroom. He feels no better than he did before his asthma attack. There's nothing relieving about it, he actually feels worse now, his chest is sore and he's exhausted. He can only hope when he wakes up tomorrow he will feel at least a little better.
Taehyung wakes up in the middle of the night with a coughing fit. He flops over in his bed and presses his lips together as he scrambles out of the room, trying to be as quiet as he can. He breaches the door, head down so he can cough into his elbow, muffling the sound with his shirt sleeve. He walks by memory to the couch and flops down, finally catching his breath once the coughing subsides. He sits there for a long moment, looking at the pitch black darkness and taking even, seemingly filtered breaths.
A door creaks open in the back of the dorm and Taehyung groans in defeat, he’d hoped not to wake anybody.
“Tae?” Jimin’s quiet voice calls from the hallway.
Taehyung clears his throat and rasps, “Sorry Jiminie.”
Jimin turns on a lamp and rounds the couch to look at Taehyung. His eyes are sad as he takes in Taehyung's pale complexion. “I’m sorry you’re sick," he murmurs, placing a hand in Taehyung’s hair.
“Not your fault,” Taehyung croaks, chuckling emptily.
Jimin sits down next to him and lays his head on Taehyung’s shoulder. “I feel like an asshole friend.”
“You’re not,” Taehyung says immediately.
Jimin ignores him. His voice is a whisper as he confesses, “I didn’t even remember you have asthma, I just thought your cold was lasting a little longer. You keep it so well under check that I haven’t even seen you use an inhaler in a few years. I should’ve remembered though.” He shakes his head. “I overlooked your problems because I was too focused on myself, and I want you to know I’m really sorry.”
“It’s not anybody’s fault, Jimin, I’m just a little sick,” Taehyung says, wrapping an arm around the smaller boy.
“A little,” Jimin scoffs. "That’s an understatement.”
There’s a bout of silence where the two just sit there in each other’s company, not speaking. Jimin fiddles with Taehyung's hands pressing their fingers together and interlocking their hands.
Taehyung sighs, “I don’t want hyung to push back the comeback.”
Jimin looks up to see Taehyung’s face from his spot on his shoulder. “What? Why?”
“Army is going to be disappointed and it’ll make us look bad,” Taehyung grumbles, a frown downturning his lips.
“The fans will understand that we’re trying to stay healthy, you know that.” Jimin responds, extending his pointer finger, “If Namjoon sends the message correct - which I’m sure he will - the fans will love that we’re trying to watch our health and take care of ourselves.”
Taehyung shakes his head slightly. “But there’s those mean ones that-”
“The people that criticize our choice to push back the comeback for our health aren’t people we should be concerning ourselves with. We aim to please Army, and the people that would criticize that decision, aren’t part of our fanbase.”
Taehyung nods. “I guess…” though he doesn’t sound too convinced.
“You should come back to bed,” Jimin says, lifting his head up.
“I’ll sleep out here tonight, you go to bed.” He leans over the couch and grabs the pillow and blanket that he’s been using the past couple nights.
“I don’t want you to sleep here, it’s bad for your back and you’ll be lonely,” Jimin pouts.
Taehyung shrugs, fluffing the pillow into position. “My back feels fine and I don’t mind being alone, it’s not too bad to have a whole room to myself.” He sends a mischievous smile over his shoulder, and Jimin's upper lip twitches in response.
Jimin purses his lips in thought before jumping up. “Wait here,” he commands. He whirls around and pads into the back hallway, his steps fast, but quiet. Moments later, a white blob is peeking out of the darkness. It’s Taehyung’s mattress. “Here,” Jimin grunts as he pushes it in front of Taehyung, “sleep on this and I’ll be appeased.”
Taehyung smiles up at his friend. “Thanks Jiminie.”
Jimin smiles proudly, “I know, I’m super smart. Now get some sleep and feel better. Do you want some meds?”
“No, I took some before bed,” Taehyung says, standing to lay down on the mattress in front of him.
Jimin steps away, letting Taehyung get settled with watchful eyes. Once Taehyung is comfortable he kneels next to him and kisses his temple. “See you in the morning TaeTae.”
“G’night,” Taehyung mumbles happily, already feeling his eyes droop closed the second his head hits the pillow.
“Well that’s smart, I don’t know why we didn’t think of that sooner.”
Taehyung opens his eyes to see Jungkook looking down at the mattress he's lying on. He swallows, and his voice comes out thick as he greets, “Oh, mornin’ Kookie.”
Jungkook's face lights up in a bright smile. “You look a lot better, how do you feel?”
Taehyung pauses, assessing his state. “My throat doesn’t hurt anymore, my chest is pretty sore, and other than that I feel kind of the same.” He takes a deep breath and finds that his breathing is only a little difficult. He shoots Jungkook a thumbs up and smiles. “I can breath.”
Jungkook laughs short and soft. His smile fades fast though, and he bites his lip pensively. “I’m sorry about that,” he says, his voice genuinely regretful, “we all should’ve done something before it got that bad.”
“It’s not anybody’s fault." Taehyung feels like a broken record. "You can’t really prevent an asthma attack like that when I have a cold, I was just waiting for it,” Taehyung says, waving him off. “After all, I feel a little better today, so who cares.”
Jungkook nods, and offers Taehyung a hand. “Jin hyung is making us breakfast.”
Taehyung takes his hand and stands, feeling his head spin a little bit as he straightens up but he blinks a few times and feels fine. He follows Jungkook into the kitchen and is met with Jin standing in front of the stove, a pink apron tied around his waist. He looks over his shoulder when he hears footsteps. “Kookie, Tae, come eat some bacon before Hoseok and Joon inhale it.”
The two don’t hesitate to walk over to the plate on the counter and each take three strips, happily munching on them.
Seokjin turns off the stove as he finishes the eggs and wipes his hands off before turning to Taehyung and placing a hand on his forehead. “You’re still pretty warm… Go take a seat, I’ll get you your food.”
Taehyung nods and walks over to the table, sniffing a little as he sits back in his chair.
“Hey Tae,” Hoseok calls as he emerges from the back hallway, bedhead all over the place and pajama pants wrinkled beyond belief.
“Mornin’ hyung,” Taehyung greets.
Namjoon steps out of the hallway after him, still looking as dejected as he did the day before. He sends Taehyung a small smile in greeting and attempts to slide past him.
“Hyung,” Taehyung calls, grabbing Namjoon’s attention, “stop looking depressed and eat breakfast.”
Namjoon presses his lips into a small smile before nodding and walking into the kitchen.
“Feel any better?” Yoongi asks, immediately going to sit down across from Taehyung at the table after coming out of his room.
Taehyung nods. “I can breath and my throat isn’t sore anymore.”
“That’s good,” Yoongi hums, scrutinizing Taehyung’s features. He doesn’t look ill anymore, just a little pale.
“How do you feel hyung?” Taehyung asks, looking at the bags under Yoongi’s eyes. “Have I been keeping you up? You look tired.”
Yoongi shakes his head. “Just trouble sleeping,” he murmurs. “I think I’ll be sleeping fine tonight though, so don’t worry about it.”
Taehyung sits back just as Seokjin sets a plate in front of him, planting one hand in his hair to ruffle it up. “Eat up,” Seokjin says, rubbing his fist into his head.
Clearly, the rest of the group felt the backlash of putting their health on the backburner, along with their concern for the other members. Part of the reason the seven boys keep up with their hectic schedules so well is because they’re quick to stop each other when they know it’s getting too brutal. A quick lapse in judgement during comeback season is a firm reminder of the idealism they usually thrive off of.
Once Taehyung finishes breakfast he stands with his plate and takes it to the sink, rinsing it off and then bending over to place it in the dishwasher. As he goes to stand though, he feels his chest cramp and pain shoot through his fingertips. A strange mixture between a whimper and a grunt escape him as he cowers down in a fruitless attempt to cease the pain.
A steady hand pushes on his stomach, urging him up until Taehyung complies, though it isn't too pleasant as he straightens his spine.
“Easy kid,” Yoongi mumbles, moving to place both his hands on Taehyung’s shoulders. “Come watch a movie with me, yeah?”
Taehyung nods and follows Yoongi into the living room. Taehyung feels a little warmth blossom in his sore chest, Yoongi seems so different, like he actually… cares. Taehyung shakes his head at the thought- that sounds bad. Yoongi always cares, that much is true, it just seems like he’s actually showing it now.
Yoongi plops down on the cushions of their large couch and tugs Taehyung down with him, immediately flopping on Taehyung's legs and lounging on him. “You pick the movie.” Yoongi says, adjusting his position so he could put his head in Taehyung’s lap.
Soon enough, Taehyung picks the first action movie he sees and presses play. The two boys sit in silence, watching the film with apt attention.
“Whatcha watchin’?” Jimin calls after half an hour, walking into the room with a juice box in hand, sipping leisurely from the bendy straw as he tries to identify the film.
“None of your business,” Yoongi grumbles, shifting on Taehyung’s lap to wrap an arm around his thighs. “Go do somethin' else.”
Jimin juts out his bottom lip. “But I wanna watch the movie too.”
“No you don’t,” Yoongi shoots back, not even looking away from the screen, “at least three dogs have died already.”
Jimin gasps loudly, almost dropping his juice box in shock. He whirls around, grumbling about how terrible the two are for watching such a horrible movie.
“Why'd you lie?” Taehyung asks quietly, looking down at the older boy. All that’d happened thus far in terms of terror was a short car chase and a little gun fire.
Yoongi shrugs. “Dunno, didn’t want him butting in.”
A small smile rises on Taehyung’s cheeks as he dissects Yoongi’s statement. Yoongi wants to hang out with Taehyung and only Taehyung. Yoongi, who usually holes himself up in the studio on their free days, wants to spend time with his head in Taehyung’s lap, watching a movie together.
Taehyung smiles through the rest of the movie, even during the saddest scene. He just can’t fight the happy little warm bubble rising in his chest, making the soreness and trace of sickness evaporate.
Maybe Taehyung should hang out with Yoongi a little more often.