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The sunlight streamed through the bedroom blinds, causing Trixie to squint as she awoke. Her overzealous drinking was evident from the pounding in her head and the fact she was still in last night’s clothes. She lay there for a moment, shutting her eyes as she tried to piece together the haziness of the night before.
Heavy bass. Shots. Kissing… Katya? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Trixie sat up, racing to the toilet to bring up the regret that had formed at the back of her throat. She moaned, placing her head against the cold porcelain, memories from last night flashing before her eyes.
“Another shot?” the barman asked, placing the shot glass on the bar regardless of the answer. Trixie nodded. How many had that been now? 6? 7? She couldn’t remember but knocked it back anyway, hissing as it burnt her throat. She checked her phone. 10 minutes till show time. She was here for Katya, it was rare for Katya to be in the state, let alone the same city, and Trixie wanted to make the most of it. Their friendship was unexpected, but appreciated and Trixie couldn’t foresee her life without Katya playing a major role. Trixie loved to watch Katya perform, the way she would move so gracefully yet so ungracefully as she commanded the stage, owning the audience completely, it was something to marvel, really. 10 minutes and two shots later and the lights dimmed, the opening notes of All That Jazz signalling the start of the show. Trixie watched the show in a daze, maybe it was the alcohol or the atmosphere but Katya was hypnotic.
Since her break-up, Katya had been on Trixie’s mind quite a lot. They were friends, of course, but the line between friendship and something else wasn’t as clearly defined as it was with other queens. It always lingered beneath the surface; the urge to go to the next level, but Katya was difficult to figure out, Trixie could never define what was real and what was for the fans that wanted them together. Trixie watched the rest of the set distracted in her own thoughts, and she tipped back another shot before heading backstage, her body swaying with every step. Katya stood near the mirror, water bottle in hand, her back turned. Trixie took a moment to take the other queen in, all legs and hair, she was far gone. Really far gone.
“Guess who?” Trixie said, covering Katya’s eyes.
“Russian gymnast Anna Pavlova?” Katya replied, turning around. Trixie cackled, embracing the other queen before Katya could open her mouth. They stood there in the middle of the backstage area, arms encircled around each other and Trixie breathed in Katya’s scent; cigarettes and floral perfume. They stood there in the middle of the room, their arms wrapped around each other before Katya pulled back. “So, distinguished panel of…judge, how did I do?”
“Are you fishing for compliments, asshole? You were perfect, you always are,” Trixie said earnestly, noting the pink flush that adorned Katya’s face. It was probably just blush, she told herself.
“Let me de-drag, and we can go drink,” Katya said, linking her arm with Trixie’s and walking through the plain white corridor to the dressing room.
“You don’t drink,” Trixie replied, running her finger over Katya’s leotard, the fabric slightly damp with sweat.
“No, but you do, and drunk Trixie is always a fun time,” Katya said, tapping Trixie on the nose before walking to her corner and pulling down the straps of the leotard.
“Are you trying to take advantage of me? You know I reserve that for your dad.”
“Why, would you like me to?” Katya asked, walking towards Trixie, her eyes hooded as she wrapped an arm around Trixie’s waist, pulling her close. Trixie looked at the queen before her, her chest heavy as her gaze averted to Katya’s lips, her red lipstick still perfectly applied, and then down to the bare skin of the queen’s neck, a sheen covering her collarbones. Before Trixie could open her mouth to speak, Katya pulled away, throwing her head back in laughter as she shimmied herself out of the leotard, and discarding it to the side. A lump formed in her throat as she watched Katya prance around the room in nothing but tights and heels, grabbing her things and throwing them into her suitcase. The room was silent as Trixie stood against the dressing table, watching Katya undress completely.
Her eyes travelled over Katya’s lean legs and up to the curve of her ass, now in plain view as Katya pulled on a pair of tight-fitting underwear. She bit her lip as Katya turned around, pulling her wig off and giving Trixie a view of the bulge hidden under black fabric. Trixie bit her lip as she thought about what was hidden underneath and instead roamed her eyes over Katya’s toned chest, smooth and hairless. She exhaled a shaky breath, closing her eyes and trying to ignore the images running through her head; her mouth moving over Katya’s chest, her tongue flicking softly at a nipple . She opened her eyes at the sound of a zip, Katya’s boy form now standing in the room wearing a plain t-shirt and jeans.
“Falling asleep?” he asked, a bemused expression on his face.
“A little,” Trixie lied.
“Come on, let’s get you drunk,” he said, offering his arm again. Trixie linked her arm round his, listening as Katya spoke animatedly on their way to the bar.
“And that’s why Jodie Foster would not be good as a paragliding partner…Hi, can I get a shot of tequila and an orange juice, thank you,” Katya said, leaning onto the bar, their arms no longer linked.
“Tequila? Katya, I’ll end up shitfaced,” Trixie replied, taking the shot that was now on the bar.
“Like you said, I want to take advantage of you. Call me daddy,” Katya winked, sipping his orange juice. Trixie swallowed, her body tingling at the idea, Katya was going to kill her. They found a small booth next to the bar, and soon the table that was once empty was now littered with empty glasses of tequila and orange juice. Trixie’s head was swimming, the room swaying as she lay back against the cushioned seat, heavy bass surrounding her. She half-listened to whatever story Katya was telling, her eyes stuck on Katya’s lips as he spoke, so plush and inviting.
“You okay there?” Katya asked, sliding closer to Trixie, their sides touching. The close proximity was too much for Trixie to take and she lunged forward pressing her lips sloppily against Katya’s. Katya pulled back, shock evident on his face, opening his mouth to speak. She was going to reject Trixie, tell her that “they were better off friends”. Trixie didn’t want to hear the rejection, she couldn’t. She stood up shakily, ignoring Katya’s calls as she pushed her way through the crowd to the bathroom, slamming the stall door behind her as she sat on the toilet, tears brimming her eyes. No wonder Katya didn’t want her, she was drunk and crying in a bathroom. Who would want that? It was pathetic. She sniffled, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. She stood up, and walked out of the stall and into Katya.
They didn’t speak as Katya pushed her back into the stall, locking the door behind them and pressing his lips against Trixie’s forcefully. Their tongues mingled as Katya pressed Trixie against the stall door, his arms pulling Trixie closer to him. Trixie moaned as Katya moved his lips to her neck, sucking hard on the sensitive flesh. She turned them around, pushing Katya against the door, her hands undoing his belt clumsily and pulling the jeans down. She traced a hand over the hardened bulge, relishing in the sharp intake of breath that leaves Katya’s lips. She pulled the underwear down, his cock springing free, a small bead of precum leaking from the slit. It’s a blur of movement as she smeared the precum over the head before pumping slowly, her hand moving over the hardened length. Katya attacked her lips, a hand nestled in her hair as their mouths move in sync.
Trixie moved her hand faster, eliciting a loud moan from Katya’s lips. She moved her mouth to the curve of Katya’s neck, kissing down to his collarbone, tracing it with her tongue as her hand moves in time with the bass from outside. He grunted as he came, surprising Trixie, as the warm fluid coated her hand. He leaned his head against the door, his breath coming out in short pants, his lips swollen and slick with saliva. Trixie grabbed the toilet paper, wiping the cum off her hand and throwing it into the toilet. She looked at Katya who is pulling his underwear and jeans back up, his hair tousled. He moved forward towards her, an arm stroking hers but suddenly there’s bile rising in her throat, the shots of tequila now making their way back up and she can’t help it as she pushes his arm away, her head moving towards the toilet, the sound of liquid splattering against porcelain breaking the silence between them.
Trixie groans at the recollection. She vaguely remembers Katya putting her into a cab and handing the cab driver a handful of notes. She also remembers the look of regret and pity on his face as he closed the cab door and walked back into the club. She had fucked up. Majorly. Trixie walked back into the bedroom, falling back onto the bed with a sigh. The vibrations of her phone startle her from staring at the ceiling, and her heartbeat quickens at the notification.
Katya
How you feeling?
Trixie
Like I’ve been eliminated again.
I’m sorry about last night.
Minutes pass and Trixie wonders if apologising was the right thing. She regretted how it happened, but she didn’t regret doing it with Katya. Kissing Katya was something else, it was like coming home to a place she didn’t know existed. Katya wasn’t excitement and fireworks, she was warmth and security. Finding her soulmate was something Trixie had cast off as “Disney bullshit”. But Katya was it.
Katya
It’s cool, not like it meant anything right?
Trixie read the text over and over, her mind focussing on every word. Not like it meant anything. Well, that was a short-lived romance, Trixie thought. She ignored the crushing feeling in her chest and typed a message before throwing her phone onto the floor.
Trixie
Exactly. I was drunk and horny, I thought you were your dad haha.
It must have been weeks before they spoke again after that; it wasn’t a slow phase out, more an abrupt ending, the kind that leaves you on tenterhooks every time you read a new message in case it’s them. Trixie threw herself into work, accepting every gig that was thrown her way because it was too painful to stop and think for more than a minute. The best friendship she ever had was thrown away on a drunken moment rooted in sober longing. Trixie made her way to the dressing room, pulling her suitcase behind her. She stopped as she turned a corner, the man in front of her surprising her.
“Hey,” Brian said, shoving his hands in his jeans pockets.
“Oh hey, what are you doing here?” Trixie asked, emotions rushing through her; surprise, happiness, anger.
“I’m performing tonight,” he replied simply. “I just wanted to apologise for being so silent, I’ve been super busy.” Trixie narrowed her eyes slightly at him, they both knew he was lying but neither were going to bring it up.
“Mmhmm. Me too, it’s hard being such a drag icon and world renowned superstar,” Trixie said, forcing out a chuckle. “Anyway, I better go get ready, it takes a lot of time to look this shitty.”
She pushed her way past him slightly, making her way into the dressing room and setting her stuff up. The show was like every other show Trixie had, she performed, people laughed, some people gave her money. Same shit, different night. She grabbed a make-up wipe off the table and wiped her face, smearing the makeup rather than removing any of it. One pack later and her face was make-up free and slightly red from the rubbing.
“You were great,” Katya said from behind her. “New wig?”
Brian made eye contact with the queen through the mirror and nodded before packing his stuff into the bag.
“Can we talk?” Brian turned round then, nodding again and gesturing that they go sit in the corner.
“So, what do you want to talk about?” Brian asked, his tone forcefully even.
“Okay so I have a friend, we’ll call her Karen. Now Karen has a friend called Tallulah who recently broke up with her boyfriend. Karen has always liked Tallulah, in a “I’d very much like to have sex with you” sort of way so you can imagine Karen’s surprise and delight when Tallulah kissed her one night. Now here’s where it gets a little complicated, Tallulah was drunk, and I mean “pisses her pants and thinks its apple juice” kinda drunk –“
“Katya –“
“Hold on, I’m telling a story. So Karen and Tallulah have hand fun in a bathroom stall, which was fine, it was nice even though Karen didn’t get off, but then the next morning Tallulah apologises for it, like she’d accidentally stepped on Karen’s foot or something. And of course Karen gets in her own head and says it doesn’t mean anything, but of course it does, she really likes Tallulah! She likes Tallulah more than she likes the movie Contact starring two-time Academy Award winner Jodie Foster. And when Karen’s telling me this story, I told her “Get your fucking shit together Karen and get out of my house –“
“I didn’t think it was a mistake,” Brian said quietly.
“Really? Because people don’t say “sorry, I had a great time being jerked off,” Katya replied, looking down at her nails.
“I apologised because I didn’t want it to happen that way, some seedy hand job in a dirty bathroom stall? I’m not Adore, I don’t do that on the regular.”
“…So you wanted it to happen at some point?” Katya asked, her face hopeful yet nervous as her eyes met Brian’s.
“Yes! But not when I was shitfaced, god, you saw me throw up. I reserve that for like the third date,” Brian replied, smiling as Katya cackled, throwing her head back and wheezing.
“Okay. Do you…maybe want to go on a date with me? Like I’ll buy you extra guac if we go to Chipotle,” Katya asked.
“I mean, like I said, you saw me throw up so we’re on the third date. I put out on the third date,” Brian replied, wagging his eyebrows over-exaggeratedly.
“I know, my dad told me,” Katya said, standing up and offering a hand to Brian. Brian laughed, accepting Katya’s hand. They packed the rest of their stuff up and made their way to the hotel. The taxi ride was silent, comfortably so but with a hint of awkwardness. They went their separate ways, Brian put his stuff into his room, leaving it at the door before making his way up to Katya’s.
“Hey is your refrigerator running?” Brian asked as Katya opened the door. Katya raised an eyebrow in expectation. “Cos I’m gonna suck your dick.”
Katya laughed, sitting on the bed. She’d removed her wig, and if the scrunched up ball of duck-tape was anything to go by, untucked also, but her face was still full of make-up. Brian sat on the bed too, suddenly feeling very vulnerable, like a teenage girl about to lose her virginity. He picked at the hotel bedspread, the room silent.
“We’ve fucked guys from every continent. Why is this awkward?” Katya asked, breaking the silence and shuffling closer to Brian.
“I don’t know. We’re best friends, there’s more to lose if it doesn’t go right,” Brian replied honestly.
“Does that scare you? Losing our friendship if it doesn’t work?” Katya asked, placing her hands on top of Brian’s. Brian nodded. It did scare him, aside from his family, Katya was the most important person in his life, and she brightened up Brian’s life just by existing. How could he cope without that? “I wouldn’t let that happen. You aren’t escaping from my life that easy.”
They smiled at each other and Brian caressed Katya’s face, her skin soft under his fingertips. They leaned in at the same time, their noses bumping slightly as they moved in, pressing their lips together softly, hesitatingly. It felt strange, kissing Katya sober, but it felt right, like all the puzzle pieces had fit together to complete the jigsaw.
“This feels weird,” Brian mumbled against Katya’s lips. “Not in a bad way.” Katya made a noise of agreement before deepening the kiss. Brian moaned in surprise as Katya’s lips moved against his with more force, her tongue swiping at Brian’s lips, asking for entrance. Brian moved his tongue with Katya’s, half-heartedly fighting for dominance. Brian sucked at Katya’s tongue, relishing in the strangled moan that escaped Katya’s lips. They moved back onto the bed, the bedsprings squeaking as Katya straddled Brian, her lips pressing kisses against Brian’s jaw. Brian’s hands moved to Katya’s back, his hands moving under the shirt to feel every inch of skin. Katya rolled her hips into Brian, her erection brushing against his.
“Still feel weird?” Katya whispered into Brian’s ear, rolling her hips again, the friction making Brian moan.
“You’re on top, it’s still weird,” Brian replied, looking up at Katya as she laughed. He pushed Katya off of him, smirking at the questioning look on Katya’s face as he moved his way down to her crotch. He pulled down the black sweatpants she had on, raising an eyebrow at the fact she was wearing boxers. Katya’s cock sprung up, hitting her belly as Brian discarded the trousers and then removed his own with haste. He licked the head, the taste of salty precum on his tongue. He moved teasingly across Katya’s length, licking a path around the head then down. Katya’s hands moved to his head, caressing his hair. He moved back to the head again, taking it in his mouth and moving down, his mouth at the base of Katya’s cock. Katya moaned loudly, her fingers clutching at Brian’s hair. He moved his mouth up and down, his tongue flicking at the head when he got to the top. He repeated this multiple times, varying the speed, it seemed like Katya liked it slow. He made a note of that.
“If you want this to be over before it begins, you should stop,” Katya said, caressing his back. Brian pouted, straddling Katya’s hips, their skin touching, and kissing her deeply. “Get on your back.” Brian rolled off her, lying on his back, his eyes staring at the ceiling. He shifted his hips up at the feel of Katya pushing a pillow underneath him. He went to touch his cock, the precum leaving a trail over his stomach but Katya slapped his hands away. Katya moved to the end of the bed, pushing his legs up, exposing him. A guttural sound escaped his throat as he felt her tongue push against his hole. He relaxed as she placed a hand on his hip, her tongue moving inside him.
He looked up, small balls of light flickering on the ceiling as his nerves were set alight by Katya’s ministrations. His cock was leaking heavily now, his hands clutching at the bedspread, the pleasure almost too much as Katya’s tongue flicked and probed at his most sensitive spot. Then it was gone and he was left cold. He shuddered at Katya’s sudden exit and watched as she opened a drawer, pulling out a bottle of lube and a condom. Katya rolled the condom onto her length and slathered a generous amount into her hand, coating her cock with the clear liquid. She moved onto the bed, on her knees as she pressed her cock against his hole, teasing him.
“Jesus, Katya. Just stick it in already,” he said in frustration. She smiled at him, her lipstick smeared all over chin, staining it red, before thrusting in completely. He winced at the sudden feeling of fullness tinged with pain, and shifted his hips to get comfortable. Katya stilled, letting him get used to the sensation before thrusting softly. She watched his face, gauging his reaction and he nodded, signalling her to go faster. She moved her hips, angling with every thrust trying to find his prostate. He moaned in surprise as she hit it, and she smiled, rolling her hips into him. His cock ached, begging to be touched, bouncing against his stomach with every thrust. The sound of skin against skin and the smell of sex and sweat filled the room as Katya sped up, grunting as she fucked him harder.
“Touch yourself,” Katya said. Brian moaned in relief as his hand wrapped around his cock, pumping in sync with Katya’s thrusts. He could feel the pressure build at the base of his cock, and he moved his hand faster and harder. They came at the same time, Katya moaning as she thrust one final time, her body quivering against his legs. Brian grunted, cum spurting over his hand and stomach as his toes curled. He sighed as Katya pulled out slowly, discarding the used condom in the trash and grabbing a towel which she handed to him. He wiped at himself before standing up and walking to the bathroom, watching in silence as Katya scrubbed at her face, removing her makeup.
“Did you realise we left our t-shirts on?” Brian asked, laughing slightly. Katya looked down, pulling at the fabric she wore.
“Seems like quite a big thing to forget,” Katya replied, smiling at him in the mirror.
“Hmm. We were caught up in the moment,” Brian said, moving nearer to Katya and winding his arms round her waist. Katya turned around, placing a soft kiss to Brian’s cheek.
“That is true, how was it for you?” Katya asked. He knew what she was asking, because he was asking it himself. Now that it was done, could they be the same again?
“Better than your dad,” Brian replied.
They would be fine.