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After Levi left, it only took a few hours for Erwin to start missing him terribly.
How could he not, he thought, when he was in love with the man, when he knew it would be at least 5, long days before he would see him again, and when reminders of his visit were scattered everywhere around his home, small vestiges of his presence that left Erwin’s heart aching in a way that he hadn’t known was possible until he’d met him?
Like metal drawn to a magnet, his eyes would latch onto each one of them while the time wore on, usually finding the teacup Levi had left in his sink after breakfast first and then his comb, the shiny, small thing resting on top of Erwin’s in a drawer near where he had neatly arranged all of his toiletries on the counter.
The channel his television was always left on was Levi’s favorite too, Erwin found, as was the blanket that he kept resting over the back of the couch, the sight of each reminder, no matter how small, causing him to wish that his small fiancé did not live so far away so that they did not have to spend so much time apart. As it was, though, Levi was usually three hundred miles away from him, four hours and fifteen minutes to the north, a seemingly exorbitant amount of separation that they were only able to overcome on the weekends or on holidays, instances where they were off work and that weren’t necessarily infrequent, he thought, but all in all, much too far apart for Erwin to be able to bear it.
It would be that way until they got married though, he knew, until they decided where they would be living together once they’d saved up enough money and everything like that, something that he knew was going to happen eventually but that did not make the waiting any easier, as the echoes of himself that Levi left behind just caused Erwin to imagine how things could be, how one day, after all the distance they’d had to deal with, he wouldn’t have to leave and Erwin wouldn’t end up moping through the entire week like some kind of lovesick fool, hopelessly pining for someone who he was only able to see in the things that he left behind.
Of course, Erwin thought, it wasn’t actually that bad and he knew he was just being dramatic — he was writer, alright , and he embellished even though they texted and talked on the phone every chance they got because Levi, of course, didn’t just disappear — but he really did hate when Levi was gone to the point that he sometimes wondered if he should clean up his house after he left, musing that if he perhaps tucked away his things he wouldn’t become as distracted and morose and lonely, something that he knew he’d never actually be able to go through with when he found the thoughts and reminders of Levi to be so irresistibly sweet, too.
They made him happy and drove him crazy at the same time, somehow, like Levi was a drug that he was addicted to and couldn’t quit no matter how hard he tried — not that he wanted to or anything like that, though — and no matter how miserably alone and lightheartedly besotted he sometimes felt at the same time, nothing, at least, making him feel the comparison so strongly as what he’d gotten into the habit of doing after Levi was gone. It was a small thing, he thought, a single, tiny thing that he felt compelled to do as if he was chasing a high, a sensation that he honestly couldn’t help but categorize as something like that when he lost control of himself and ended up sprawled across his bed, out of breath and nearly shivering while his face burned hot from the lingering effects of desire.
Thinking about it, in fact, just made him hard, so much so that he was barely able to last for a few hours after Levi left before he would give in to it, before he would make a beeline for his bedroom and press his face into the spot where they’d spent the night before fucking as if it had been the last time they were ever going to have the opportunity to do so. It was only natural that they enjoy each other as much as they could, of course, given the week long absence that they always had to endure once Levi was gone, but what probably wasn’t normal was the way in which Erwin would relive all of it later with his face buried in the sheets — the unchanged, unwashed tangle of which positively stank of sex and of Levi’s own heady, intoxicating musk — while he gulped down mouthful after mouthful of air, shamelessly jerking himself off onto the mattress below him and gasping Levi’s name, too, until he came with a groan, orgasming so hard that it was probably a fucking wonder he didn’t black out.
He knew it made him uncouth — or a pervert, as Levi teasingly liked to call him as if he didn't simultaneously get off from Erwin’s more filthy whims too — but he didn't care, because fuck , he couldn't help it, not when the smell of what they'd done together just brought him right back to it as if Levi was still there, as if he hadn't left and Erwin was holding him in his arms and sucking the sweat off his neck, thrusting in the dark and relishing in the satisfyingly slick slide of his cock in and out of Levi’s already come-slicked hole, so much so that it never proved to be long before he would spill hot and wet inside of him all over again.
Even after that, he thought, it was rare that either one of them would be sated in their efforts to have as much of each other as they could before Levi had to go, but either way, Erwin never let things end before he had a chance to clean up the mess he’d made. Eagerly, he would maneuver himself between Levi’s legs so that he could lick it off from where it had run down his thighs, thoroughly tracing his tongue over the soft, sensitive skin before slipping it into Levi’s ass, knowing that he would only be able to feel completely satisfied once he was sure that he had lapped up every drop of the stuff and the man above him had been turned into a shivering, shaking wreck.
The fact that he was swallowing his own release never bothered him, of course, just like it didn't bother him to think that he was possibly lying with his face pressed into a spot where come, lube, and sweat might have soaked into the sheets when he returned to his bed the next day, only finding himself thinking of how good Levi always tasted when he was through with him instead and how he was practically mewling like a kitten by the end of it, the sweet sounds proving to be so arousing to him that barely a day went by before he had heard them again in his dreams.
They echoed in his head while he jerked off too, of course, and while he rubbed his face into the sheets and smelled traces of Levi on them that had Erwin all but rutting into his palm, unable to stop himself from imagining that it was Levi’s skin he was nuzzling his nose against and brushing his parted lips over so delicately, the sensation of that sometimes causing him to muffle his groans with a mouthful of fabric as if he was desperately seeking out Levi’s taste, too, something that probably would have caused him to come on the spot if he had actually been able to find it.
Still, though, even if his imagination could only take him so far, it was more than enough to get him to release quickly, the thrill that he got from the act in and of itself alone proving to turn him on almost as much as thoughts of Levi did. That was how he knew he was doing something vulgar, but surrounding himself by the leftover scent of their lovemaking was too intoxicating for him to resist, too exciting for him to fight the gut-wrenching lust that coiled in his belly whenever he was facedown in the proof of how good he had felt the night before, of how much he loved Levi and how amazing he was, too, and how he didn’t think that he would ever manage to get enough of him for as long as he ended up living.
He was incredible, Erwin thought, and he made him happy in emotional ways as well as physical, of course, the feelings of warmth that filled his chest by the time he released always causing him to call out Levi’s name at the exact height of the intensity, the thoughts of him then just adding to the seconds of pure bliss that Erwin experienced before he all but collapsed in a heap on top of the mattress. Then, after that, he was back to missing him and wishing he was there and struggling with an uncharacteristic impatience for the next weekend, of course, as the small vestiges he was left with could never be as pleasing as the real thing.
Maybe that was why he did it, though, because it was probably the closest he would get to having Levi there with him again for five more days, or maybe he really was just some kind of pervert that liked the smell of sex. Regardless of the fact that he only liked it because it had been with Levi, he thought, in the end he didn’t much care and didn’t think there was anything that would ever stop him from doing it, finding that whatever guilt he might have felt for it anyway to be rendered moot when he always had a very specific text waiting on him as soon as he got out of bed.
I’m home. Levi would say, his next message often giving Erwin a clear picture of Levi pleasuring himself with the dirty shirt he always stole from him pulled up and over his face. And I ruined your shirt already. Have you jerked off onto the bed yet, you gross fuck?