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It was a funny feeling when Judy Hopps saw the two lines that bloomed into view on that little stick of plastic. Even more peculiar was the dryness that perpetuated her mouth when the idea finally crystallized in her mind.
In all her time as a police officer Judy Hopps had foiled city threatening plots, faced and befriended influential mob bosses, defeated mammals ten times her size, and even managed to fall in love along the way. None of these had fazed her (except for maybe when she was chased by a feral jaguar). Now, staring at her future in the palm of her paw she was terrified. It wasn't only her future at stake, but her boyfriend's as well. And being responsible for his choices was not an idea Judy took lightly.
Again she checked the box to make sure the instructions were clear. With the way the wording on the box was printed Judy rationalized (in her fervor of burgeoning irrationality) that other mammals had had the exact same thought. That perhaps there was room for a mistake. But Judy had used both tests that came in the box and the directions to use them had been crystal clear. Painfully so.
One Line=Not Pregnant
Two Lines=Pregnant
“I'm…” she tried to speak, either at the thin plastic in her paw, or at herself just to prove that what she was seeing was real; as if the words themselves would make the revelation click into place. She clutched at the test tightly before letting the box fall from her other paw with a flat thud to the tile of the bathroom floor, a motion which Judy mimicked as she slid down to a sit against the door.
“I'm pregnant.”
---
It wasn't as if Judy and Nick hadn't discussed having kits before. Judy recalled how not all that long ago after they had started dating, Nick had accidentally proposed the assumption to his mate in passing. Judy had uncharacteristically froze on the spot only to retreat and avoid her fox for the remainder of their shift. That had been a day to remember, not just because of Judy’s purportedly priceless reaction, but because of the way her boyfriend had handled it.
Nick had let Judy ignore him, all the way until he'd wriggled in next to the young bunny under the blanket of night in the very apartment they now shared.
The idea of pregnancy had frightened the young bunny to no end. Not the process itself, but what it meant for her, though the process did present some sense of foreboding. More importantly, for both her and Nick.
Nick had been kind enough to understand her concerns and not only support her reluctancy but to empathize. Together they had agreed to think on it another day, a thought for a time far ahead of them when they were more comfortable and better established in their lives. Not long after on their impromptu vacation to Bunny Burrow Judy had come to the realization that one day she had wanted to have a kit with Nick; to share in that experience and sire a child not just for her mate but for herself. It was Nick who wanted a kit out of the two of them. He wanted to one day become a father and raise another animal as his own, regardless of whatever race it might be with a mix between their fox and rabbit genetics. And he wanted nothing more than for that child to be his and Judy’s. She was the light of his life, the sun of his stars he might (and would) say, and the only mammal he had trusted enough to share with in that dream of his. The idea of motherhood appealed to Judy in some mysterious fashion, another prospect that she hoped she could conquer and excel in.
But it also frightened her beyond belief. Kits were the biggest responsibility she could have in her life, and with her and Nick’s duty as officers of the law it was doubly scary. What if something happened? What if one of them got hurt? Judy had already been injured in the line of duty and it had nearly cost her life had Nick not been there to save her. It was all so much to think about...
Again she had to shake away the encroaching doubt.
‘Settle it with Nick first. Then we can think on the future,’ she thought as her paw rested on her stomach, perhaps trying to feel out the child growing within her.
Judy had understandably felt queasy that morning and had decided to stay home. The root of her reason now seemed so obvious. When she had walked to the pharmacy a few blocks away with a modicum of trepidation and the aforementioned fear to pick up that telling stick of plastic, Judy had hoped it wasn't what it turned out to be. But it was: It had been morning sickness. How dumb a bunny could she be? How had she not seen the signs? It wasn't even likely that Nick could get her pregnant, and now all of those long, long nights of frivolous lovemaking with her fox seemed so reckless at the moment. It was reckless to be sure, not using protection, but they hadn't even been sure that he could get her pregnant. The thought hadn't even entered her mind on the first night he tied her. But with the way they started, and how Nick would press her just right…
Judy shook her head, freeing her mind of that downward spiral. She needed a clear head and now was not the time to be distracted, no matter how enticing of an idea it was. It was that kind of thinking that got her into this tangled web in the first place, and of course her mind was all over the place. She was now an expectant mother...at least, a part of her wanted to be. It was all still so new to think about.
She sat in the living room now, alone with the fading light of day outside and the glimmering neon of the night beginning to pulse through the window. She could do little else than just that; sitting and reflecting, digesting, seemed the only rational course of action. It was a shock, and Judy was again uncertain of their future.
With the pressure weighing on her mind, and the antsy waiting for Nick to arrive home, the room seemed almost alien with the way its features seemed to lose all meaning to her now. Most days Judy could just sit in this room for hours waiting for him to come home from a late shift.
But now Judy wasn't so certain. She had heard the words from his mouth, felt the sincerity behind them, the ensuing pang of guilt and disappointment when Nick realized Judy wasn't of a similar mind (at the time), and finally the willingness to compromise his dream for her. After all, he would not force that on her, he respected Judy long before he ever loved her, a little secret of modesty he liked to keep from her but one that she had learned all too easily and to much acclaim, and his love only deepened the desire to uphold her wishes further.
The cold tendrils of worry had chilled their way back into the heart of that very bunny now, seeding doubts and the idea of mishaps in their future: Visions of scrambling to maintain their jobs and find a sitter for their young kit, having to understand the ins and outs of registering the child for an education, and worries of what discrimination the pair of them might face as an inter species couple between predator and prey. If Judy and Nick were to bring a child into that world how might that affect the young one? Again everything was in the dark. Uncertain. And that's what Judy hated the most: not being able to know.
Her thoughts focused on Nick. He would want to know. To know that he had knocked up his girlfriend and put the proverbial bun in her oven. She smirked at that. He would undoubtedly make that joke, that was, if he was even in a joking mood once she gave him the news. Not doing so was out of the question. But it wasn't going to be easy regardless of circumstance. This their future. Theirs. And Judy would not think brashly in a matter as serious as this. They would decide together. Now Judy just had figure out how to tell him.
Judy had no idea how to tell her partner about their little “situation”. Was there a certain way it was supposed to be said? Was their a protocol she could latch onto? Anything for some sort of stability right now would be helpful. She wondered if that would be a story she would want to tell to the family one day. Not only to her family (another thought which bred worry in her heart) but to her family, the one she might start with Nick.
‘Slow down, Jude. You're getting ahead of yourself,’ she thought to herself. ‘Not even an hour from finding out and you're already plotting out the scrapbook. Get a grip, girl.’
Should they go somewhere? Tell him over a huge picturesque vista with the sunrise before them? Or should she just blurt it out casually when he got home? The strategies were beginning to sound as twisty as when she wanted to tell her parents about her and Nick. Telling them she was dating a fox seemed almost trivial when compared to the thought of telling anyone this. Heck, her parents would probably have a bigger fit over the fact that her and Nick had a child on the way and they weren't even married yet.
The thought suddenly blindsided her causing her eyes to widen. It was as if a cold weight had settled in the pit of her stomach, like she had swallowed a stone and her mouth turned to cotton.
“We're not even married,” Her own voice cleared out every niggling thought but this. Another stick of straw to break the proverbial camel’s back.
As soon as the idea of marriage sparked in her mind did the faint jingling of keys rattle near the front door. It was soon followed by the twist and click that drew the bunny from the fog of her mind into a sudden moment of anticipation.
“Honey! I'm home!” the fox called out these dopey lines as he closed the door and rounded the entryway corner as if expecting the sound of a laugh track to cue.
Instead of the laugh track it was Judy's cue to spot Nick, his tongue was stuck out in feigned disappointment and distaste at his own joke.
“Nah,” he said. “That doesn't work yet. We’ll give it a few more months.”
Judy adjusted in her spot in the couch, curling her legs to sit on their sides and leaning to rest her elbows on the couch arm. With her cheeks in her paws she tried her best to act casual in front of her hubby.
‘He's not my hubby!’ her initial thoughts screamed.
‘But he could be…’ the other thoughts retorted.
‘Should he….?’
That question seemed a no brainer, but after a pause Judy had realized she had been staring at Nick for seconds and hadn't said a thing yet. She silently gritted her teeth before opening her mouth to say the first thing in her mind; anything to distract her from her warring emotions. What she managed to espouse was nothing short of gibberish, a near assault on the smooth talking persona she had managed to perfect in the company of a certain fox.
“Pickle pee!” she almost chirped.
Nick stopped in his tracks, his face having begun to contort in confusion but waiting till his ears confirmed with said pointed triangles tilting in the direction of his babble bound girlfriend.
“You what now?”
“How was work?” she said, quickly managing to brush off her verbal flub, at least sweeping it under the rug for her.
Nick took the cue and shrugged off both her babble and his jacket, sliding it to the crook of his arm as he headed to the bedroom for a comfortable change of clothes.
“You're not going to believe what happened today,” he said as he disappeared past the doorframe still calling out to Judy. “I showed up at roll call this morning, and do you know what exciting caper Bogo put me on? A paper chase! But not just that. Oh no, that would be too easy! It was a paper chase in, get this, records! How exciting!”
From where he was he could not see how Judy had not been focused on his adventure of the day, nor could he spot the expression of dour reticence and how terribly she worked at hiding it. But when he returned to the living room sliding his arms into the sleeves of plain green shirt, the fox's acute vision caught the traces of a frown on his mate’s muzzle as she smothered it with a forced smile. He mirrored his own frown at the sight of it, sliding the rest of the shirt on and leaning against the wall with crossed arms.
“Carrot for your thoughts?” he posed with searching intent to his words.
“Sorry,” she said letting her ears flatten against her back.
Nick moved to join her on the couch, falling in next to her with a soft “oof” and letting the silence wash over the room. Nick leaned his head against the cushions, the weight of his day readily apparent to his bunny who eyed him with an unfamiliar curiosity from her side of the couch. He had thought that his probe into her mind would influence the rabbit to open up but she had merely stopped, another unusual behavior.
Almost reflexively Nick's tail curled itself around her body, sweeping past her thigh and around her thin waist to better help lighten the air of unrest that was the living room. The welcome presence of his tail gave Judy strength as it enveloped her, and the trace of sadness turned to honest happiness on her lips. She began to stroke quietly at the tip of his languidly waving tail around her side.
“Still feeling a little sick from this morning?” he asked.
“Yeah.”
“That's too bad. I had hoped to come home and curl up with my snuggle bunny for a little cuddle session.” He shrugged and playfully averted his gaze. “But if you're too sick…”
Judy quicker a smile and dug into his side, wrapping her arms around his sides and nuzzling into her fox, a motion he returned happily, letting his head lean into the space between her ears.
“No such luck, huh?” he chuckled.
Judy shook her head.
“Dumb fox.”
“Lucky bunny.”
Judy pulled back so that Nick could see her perked brow.
“Lucky?” she asked.
Nick smirked at her, a smirk which soon peeled back to show his pearly teeth in a satisfied grin.
“Yep, lucky.” He paused for ‘dramatic’ effect before he continued when he saw his mate kept in sufficient suspense. “You're lucky to have me,” he finished before breaking out in an all too familiar cackle.
The bunny wasn't so enthused by his jest though, and rather than the usual eye roll Nick might have expected, or even a witty retort he would have cherished, Judy’s expression fell, her eyes softening to look away from the fox in her arms. Nick's giggles subsided with the tapering yips fading his smile into a look of slight caution.
“I know it wasn't that bad a joke,” he offered with eyes locked to hers. His fingers found her chin and lifted till her gaze was even with his once more. “Is something wrong?”
She stared at him like she was caught in the headlights, that stare that usually meant she was caught in something: a joke. A lie. A surprise. But Judy wasn't exactly ready to share with Nick the news yet, and Nick wasn't entirely sure if she was keeping something from him. Above them Judy's ears wavered, drooping for a moment before standing erect once more with renewed vigor.
“No, I'm just...still a little out of it from the stomach bug. I think I'm going to call it an early night.” She ended her semi-false statement with a punctual yawn right in Nick's face hitting him with a full on dose of sick breath.
Understandably, Nick’s pupils shrank at the subtle attack on his senses. But he was a gentlefox, and rather than hold it against her he settled for a sputtering cough off to the side.
“That's probably for the best. A little R ‘n R, a shower...maybe brush your teeth,” he said, muttering the last bit to himself.
They absconded to the bedroom. Nick had had a long enough day blistering his fingers on paperwork and Judy….well, something had happened that was wearing her out. And so they called the night prematurely with Nick laying comfortably on the plush sheets on his side.
When Judy returned from the bathroom, she found Nick's tail was wagging, like Nick was happy to feel the presence of his precious honeybun, and with a soft hint of mint breathing past his neck. Judy snaked her arms under his and over his chest, one reaching up to play with the stray tufts of fur around his collar and the other rubbing languidly at his belly. Nick would have welcomed the affection gladly had Judy not been acting so strange earlier. With that context she seemed….clingy. Almost like she was worried he might disappear in a puff of smoke at any moment.
He pushed back into her, nuzzling the back of his neck into her cheek.
“Little bit of a squeeze tonight aren't you, Carrots?”
Her paws clenched at his chest fur again.
“Sorry. Just...feeling touchy tonight,” she half lied.
He growled lowly. It was a loving growl, almost a purr, but foxes didn't purr Judy thought.
“Touchy?” he chirped and Judy could almost feel his teeth stroking over her neck. She shivered at the welcome thought, but pushed it away just as fast.
“Just touching,” she said with finality. “Nothing else,” she added a little softer.
Judy could almost feel him frowning. She knew that she wasn't the best liar, and knew that Nick could tell the difference between a happy bun and one with something poking at her mind. Her lack of perky optimism made that abundantly clear. He turned his head up to speak.
“I can tell when something's bothering you, you know. I kept my feelings bottled up for years. I can recognize the signs.” His frown was visible now to the bunny. “Are you sure nothing is wrong, honeybun? I promise Daddy won't be mad,” he added with a joking demeanor.
He couldn't see it, but the “D” word had Judy's ears tensing against her back going rigid as sticks as a current of ice chilled through her. And conversely, that spark from earlier stirred the embers and her nerves caught fire.
Pregnant. Baby. Marriage.
That was not something she wanted or needed to hear right now. But she would not hold it against him. Judy was still trying to decide if she should just blurt it out, tell him that his child was growing inside her. That Nick really was going to be a…
But she couldn't. Not yet. She didn't want to scare him, or at the same time push him away. For now Judy just needed him here for her. So that she could hold him one more time before she dropped a baby carrot sized bombshell on him. But she couldn't just keep that from him either, not when he was right here offering himself to her like he did so often.
“Everything's not okay, Nick.”
He tried to turn to face her but Judy held firm, willing for him to stay where he was. If she looked in his eyes then and there she might crumble right in front of him in a worried mess.
“But I'm not ready to say it out loud yet.”
Judy almost held her breath while she waited for his response. The room was quiet for a few excruciating, long moments. Not even the routine sounds of the city outside the window made their way into the domicile. The only sound that was heard was Judy’s heartbeat hammering in her ears. But finally he spoke up after a moment of consideration, longer than Judy had thought that he might take.
“You know how I feel about secrets.” The certainty in his voice was palpable and a cold sweat nearly broke on the bunny’s brow then and there. She nearly spoke up to defend her nerves but her fox spoke up again.
“But I understand. And I'm here for you when you're ready, Judy. Always.”
Silently, she whimpered to herself, sniffling back the emotion that threatened to break her voice had she spoken more than a few more words. So Judy merely hugged him tighter, fingers moving to entwine with the paw that reached up to meet hers. She found solace in the sensation of his pads against the downy fur of her pad-less paws and his testing grip welcomed her.
“I'm sorry, Nick,” she managed to eke out. “I just...have to take some time to think. And then I promise I'll tell you. I'll tell you everything.”
There was another brief silence before he readjusted his neck to better lay his muzzle against the pillow.
“Okay, sweetheart. Whatever has got your mind in a tizzy, know that I believe in you.”
She knew that Nick knew about their vow (should she call it a vow?) to stay open with one another, how she wanted to tell him any and everything, and usually did for that matter.
“I promise you,” she mouthed quietly.
Judy buried her nose in the nape of Nick's neck, though she knew it would tickle. But Nick didn't chuckle like he usually would. Could it be that he was frowning?
---
The next day would see Judy still privately agonizing over important life decisions without the added benefit of her fox being there for support. She had to decide how quickly she would be putting in a request for maternity leave if she stayed the course she was on. It wouldn't do for her to be working in a dangerous line of work with a baby in her. And she was going to get bigger. That would be….interesting. All these and more were going to be concerns along with a litany of other smaller problems that all added up to one entire baby sized kerfuffle.
And those bundles of fluff were the biggest kerfuffles in existence.
Jud had wanted a walk with her fox would be best for the pair of them to clear the air; for Judy to come clean about his child growing in her belly. A walk up to a wonderful point of view would have been even better. But it was not to be. Rolling out of bed that morning, again Judy was beset by the growing familiarity of a stomach growl followed by an extended hiatus spent in the bathroom leaned over the clean porcelain. The journey up to a picturesque vista would have been too hard on the young bunny, and inwardly she wondered if the symptoms of pregnancy would be this bad the whole way through.
‘Too soon,’ she thought. ‘It's just nerves.’
Still, Judy wanted her telling of the pregnancy to her partner to be special in some way. To her mate. And that was not going to happen in their apartment. Sure, it was a nice enough place, but they couldn't have every instance of firsts (so many firsts) in that place. On top of that Judy needed some fresh air. Locking herself in the bathroom and moping on the couch couldn't be healthy for her or the--
‘Stop it. It's not anything yet….is it?’
Either way Judy had volunteered the park a few blocks from the apartment as a space to clear the air; the very same park where she and Nick had reconciled after the famed press conference during the nighthowler case, and where Nick had comforted her after her hospitalization; right before they realized their feelings for each other. This spot was perfect for yet another revelation, she thought. At the very least it would provide a modicum of space to breathe if this blew up in her face somehow, an outcome she vehemently prayed did not become the case.
The journey there was pleasant enough aside from the constant swings in Judy's bodily well-being. While the “stomach bug” elected not to provide too much trouble other than a few rogue gurgles every now and then, Judy was far from comfortable. Nick had graciously offered to carry her there as he had many times before, usually on a lark and most of the time for fun. Though sometimes Judy could become a little demanding and request a ride from her fox. Because his bunny was delightful in almost every way Nick would fulfill said requests with delight, hauling her to sit on his shoulders, if only to have another excuse for having her close.
That was not the case today. Judy had started keeping a distance from him for now in fear that any feeling of touch or contact might upset her body and make her run for the nearest bin or bush to make sick in. She had passed the worst of it this morning, though, and along the walk incrementally began to feel more and more like herself. That was, until she started to feel something else.
What confused Judy most of all was when the sickening stomach lurches parted from her, they were instead replaced by the contradictory, yet overwhelming urge to do, well….Nick.
Judy had always heard about how a pregnancy could wreak havoc on the female form’s hormones, worse so for those of a bunny for obvious reasons. Now Judy was beginning to understand why she had so many siblings. It wasn't long after the churning in her gut subsided that she started to take notice again at Nick's vulpine form, but not the parts she usually enjoyed. Her eyes instead focused on his lower body, but not his taut rear or even his fluffy tail. No her mind looked to his feet, a part of him that never seemed to draw her eye before, but now she was having trouble tearing her gare from them. Why did they look so enticing? And why did she feel so turned on by them? This felt strange even for her, and even Judy rationalized that it must be an innate bunny thing.
The entire way Nick had tried to settle the nerves that permeated the air with one of his many stories from his time on the street, something about a barber shop quartet and a cart full of grapefruits. It was supposed to be a welcome distraction sure, but fruitless nonetheless as the threat of serious discussion still hung over the bunny’s head like a cloud alongside the various chemicals warring in her body and stirring her up like broth.
“So the lead looks at the pig and says ‘that can't possibly belong to me, I'm a carnivore’!” He broke his expression of cool focus to break into a laughing fit at his own story to the point where he was keeled over clutching at his belly. Judy merely forced a cracked smile. She had lost track of the story partway through, her mind having wandered to prospects of a more serious nature. Namely the bunny/fox kit growing in her tummy. Luckily they were fast approaching the outskirts of the park, and at the very least the talk would be done with. Judy just hoped that it ended favorably. She couldn't know that Nick was thinking the same thing, though she hoped. God did she hope.
---
Nick observed their passing surroundings as they walked through the twisted gate and over the gnarled shoots of grass littering the cracked sidewalk. He let out a light breath through his pursed lips, already expectant at what they were meant to be discussing so soon.
“You know, I've always liked this place, Carrots. Its broken down, mostly abandoned, and it's full of garbage, but it has a certain charm about it.”
“What do you think, Fluff?”
Though he couldn't tell what she was thinking, Nick did catch a quick glimpse of Judy's eyes darting away from his lower body, quickly turning to look anywhere but there with a healthy blush emanating from the base of her ears. Her expression was that of a kit who had been discovered with their paw in the cookie jar, and it was abundantly clear that she was failing just as badly to conceal her emotions as she was at pretending she'd heard a word he had just said.
“Oh yeah. Totally,” she feigned before turning to keep her vision forward.
Nick quirked the corner of his mouth but kept his pace. The bridge came into view and the fox saw the memories from before play over the location in his mind. He was tempted to hurry the few paces ahead just to peer over the edge and see the spot where he had hugged Judy and where she had stepped on his tail, (though he'd always promised to let that instance of bygones be bygones). But Nick stayed at her side, content to keep her company in whatever was trying at her mind. He was under the unknowingly correct assumption that she needed him. And he would cross deserts for her if had to. A simple talk he could handle.
At least, he hoped it would be simple.
They came to a stop on the bridge with Judy moving to lean over the edge, resting her elbows on the stone and twisting her paws together. It wasn't long before her foot began to quietly thump against the weathered cobblestone and Nick perked a brow in worry. Nick had come to notice that ever since they had arrived in the park Judy's ears had been flat against her back, a tell tale sign of her dour mood. He wanted her to be the one to start the talk though, to enact whatever catharsis was needed for her to get past this rut in her mind. So he stood there, paws in pockets, tie periodically swaying in the wind while he looked over the bunny standing silent in her worry.
When she didn't, he decided to break the ice.
“Did you know that Phil Collie has the largest personal collection of Alamo memorabilia in the whole world?”
Judy looked to face him with confusion beginning to twitch her nose.
“What?”
The fox shrugged.
“I'm just trying to ease into conversation. It's obvious that whatever you have to say is pretty serious.” He held out his paws and waited for a reply. Judy stepped away from the bridge and happily took his paws in hers. They settled for a moment before Nick spoke up again.
“So what did you want to talk about?”
“You know how we met?”
“Of course. You were driving that three wheeled joke mobile and spotted my perfectly toned rear and were instantly smitten with it.”
Judy rolled her eyes, though the fox knew there was a hint of truth to his words. She did love his rear. Mostly in the tail section. But he was losing sight of why they were here again.
“No, you dumb fox.” She let out a slow breath to let Nick know she was serious, a cue he caught onto immediately and he stowed his cocky demeanor. The smile stayed though; and Judy was usually glad it did. She loved that half-cocked smirk of his. He had started it as a smokescreen for most mammals, but with Judy in his life Nick had perfected ‘the look’ just for her. Normally it reduced the tension. Made her shiver.
Judy took a moment to just observe him quietly. Nick recognized it as not being analytical as to anticipate his reaction or anything like that. She just took a moment to gaze upon the fox that meant so much to her in this world. He was her world, and she was his. But….maybe she was thinking something else. Perhaps how she could string her words together just right...
“When we met it was just me. I was one. And so were you. And then you went and were your wonderful self and I finally got my act together. We fell in love, and one became two. Now we’re two.”
What was she saying? It sounded like gobbledygook, rhetoric that she hoped would have meaning once the context was put into place. She hoped. Judy wanted that more than anything else; for Nick to want as well.
Nick shrugged slightly but nodded all the same.
“So alright, one becomes two and two becomes three.” Nick again turned his view to the view of the setting sun over the canopy. “Did you bring me all the way up here just to teach me math, Carrots?”
So far to the fox everything was sounding so disjointed. Trivial. But to Judy it looked like things were beginning to drift from her control.
“Nick.” She swallowed hard at the lump of emotion forming in her throat. Was it worry? Anticipation? She could not tell in that moment. But with the words becoming real as they balanced on the tip of her tongue, Judy knew that whatever road that they were led down, whatever course of action Nick elected, she would try for him.
“Nick. I'm pregnant.”
Nick seemed to take it well. From where she was standing Judy saw his face go from blank, to even more blank, and then upwards she thought. His eyes widened and his lips parted to speak but nothing came out. Had Judy given it some more thought she would have realized he was processing it, digesting so to speak. But instead she...panicked.
“It's kind of cool right? I mean, who'd have thought that you could even get me pregnant? A bunny and a fox, and who knows what it will do if it comes to term! I mean, I've never heard of a hybrid baby! It might not even be real it could just be a false test…”
He didn't really hear the rest of her babble-like coping mechanism. He was busy listening to the buzzing sound that kept playing in his ears.
A cold pit in the stomach; that's what Nick had felt. He must've misheard her. Again. Their entire relationship up till this point flashed before his eyes: meeting Judy in the ice cream parlor, solving the Nighthowler case, becoming her partner, becoming her romantic partner, moving in together, and now...
She cocked her head on its side, her previously stalwart expression of reluctance having been replaced with one of not so subtle concern at her mate’s silence.
“Nick?”
The fox in question merely stared forward, past the fuzzy bunny holding his paws, paws that had gone limp in her palm. No, he wasn't looking at her. Or much of anything for that matter.
“Puh...puh…” he whispered not believing the actual moment had arrived. Suddenly the area seemed so….closed around him and all parts of his body turned to putty.
“Nick, are you okay?”
His knees buckled as he fainted.
---
Nick awoke to the familiar sight of Judy Hopps, his honeybun’s muzzle twisted in appropriate worry at the fox laying in her arms with a gray paw waving cool air on his face.
“I'm not angry,” she said to no one in particular but her eyes aimed firmly at him.
“I didn't say you were,” he replied as coolly as he could manage, which was admittedly in a cracked tone he had used since he hit puberty. His tongue still seemed to be caught on something. What was it?
‘Oh. Right.’
Judy shook her head.
“That was more for me than you. And I lied. I am angry.”
Nick managed to sit up with a helping paw from the bunny, pulling him to his feet. He wobbled in place for a moment before he gathered his bearings. The news was still piping fresh in his mind, stamped on it like a red hot brand. Still, he tried to focus on his partner who was busy keeping her face somewhere between upset and reserved fury.
“Why're you angry?” he tested, feeling like he should do something with his arms, or his legs. He felt like a kit standing in front of a crowd of one. A kit. He was going to be a dad.
“Carrots, this is…. this is-”
“I shouldn't have told you,” she said.
That caught his attention.
“Why not,” he stated flatly.
Judy huffed, almost grunted, her paws clutching at the air in aimless frustration.
“Because I don't know what to do.”
Nick understood, and he pushed what could have potentially been a relationship defining fight from his mind. She was emotional. That wasn't a subterfuge used to right her state of mind. Judy was grasping for steady ground and she couldn't find it. Seeing his mate stare off to the side in thought told him all he needed to know to formulate his plan of action. She was about to open up. She needed to.
“I'm just….I'm angry at myself.”
It was Nick's turn to tilt his head on its side.
“Why?”
She looked at him, the nerves finally breaking to unleash whatever had built up on the other side.
“....because I'm scared, Nick. And I'm not supposed to be.”
Judy didn't need to see his face to know that he was concerned. She didn't need to. But seeing the creases of worry fold on his muzzle let her know that she needed to explain further. Not necessarily for him to understand, though some part of her knew that was a given. Judy needed to say the words out loud so that she could hear them.
“Everyone looks at me and sees the bunny that did the impossible. She can do anything, they say. But I don't know if I can. This is so much more and I don't think I can do it on my own. This affects me and you and the baby if I choose to--” she held her tongue.
Her paw hovered over her stomach and Nick knew she had stopped short of saying the words he feared: if she chose to keep it, he thought. The opposite of which sent a cold chill through his heart.
She looked back up at him, eyes full of equal parts sadness and resolute decision.
“But I want to do this. Not because I have to. I want to.”
She waited. Waited for him to speak and tell his piece. Waited for him to answer the questions that were burning on her mind. Nick crossed his arms. For a while there was nothing, only a deafening silence that thickened the air, almost making it hard to breathe. And while she waited Judy struggled not to let the worry show anymore than it had. She focused on her lungs to not let her breath become hitched. Focused on her lips so that they would not quiver and curve into a telling frown. And her eyes, she told them not to cry before her fox gave her an answer; an answer that she hoped was of love and compassion.
When the silence was broken Nick spoke low and measured. Through it all he stood resolute and Judy marveled at how clean he kept himself. Not even a wrinkle in his shirt betrayed his resolve.
“Judy. When we started dating I knew that I would always want us to be together. You remember when I told you how important for me it was for us to be….together.” He said the word with cautious sincerity to which Judy nodded at in confirmation.
The memory of that wonderful experience came flooding back to her. She recalled how reluctant Nick had been, and how despite her wanting him so badly Judy had been equally as nervous. She remembered how she sat across from that fox in the dark and his willingness to openly explain his worries and fears. It wasn't until later that Judy realized the enormous amount of trust it took for Nick to reveal those concerns to her. Then they had spent the remainder of the night together, tussled in the sheets in some moments, tied snugly together in others. Judy cherished that night like no other.
“Do you remember how I said that some foxes mate for life?”
Judy nodded slowly, that talk replaying over in her head.
“I also remember how you said that most foxes aren't like that anymore.” There was no spite behind her words, no cynicism meant to undercut her trust in him. There was only the doubt, and how it clawed desperately for anything to make her believe that she wasn't worth it for him. “I'm just so scared that I might do something wrong….and I'll push you away. And that this might be the thing to do it.”
Nick had moved closer to her, and when his paw pads moved to touch her cheek, Judy unconsciously nuzzled into it and couldn't deny the tears that began to trail down her cheeks.
In an instant his arms were around here providing a russet sanctuary that the bunny dared not leave. She wanted him to hold her every night and day like this, to let new memories be built with this very emotion inscribed on the surface and deeper below. Cradling her head in his paw Nick felt the soft shudder of her fur beneath his touch and he nuzzled back against her, his cheek running upwards till his chin rested atop her head so that she could hear him clearly. There would be no mistaking his words or his intentions.
“You of all mammals should know, Carrots. I'm not most foxes.”
“Whether I wanted to or not you would always be important to me. You will always be important to me. Because I'm not going anywhere.”
He let Judy ease from his grip so that she may view the sincerity upon his face one more time. His emerald eyes shone vibrantly, his mouth a taut line, ears folded ever so slightly in measured focus. She blinked away some of her tears and wiped away those that lingered in her vision. And when he could again see the violet pools of her eyes he waded in once more, hoping that she would understand him with the utmost clarity he could muster.
“I want this, Judy. With you. I want to stay with you no matter who or what stands between us. I won't follow you blindly, but I will always consider what you have to say, no matter how hard it might be for me to hear. No force on earth will make me feel different about you.”
“I will always love you. Now and forever.”
Judy gasped out a haggard chuckle, her throat hoarse from the tears and shook her head. She pulled him close, his head touching hers.
“You wonderful, loving fox,”she whispered from behind closed eyes. “Why couldn't you have told me that sooner?”
He smiled.
“I can't do all the work in this relationship, Fluff. You have to reach out if you want to take my paw.”
Despite what was seemingly the end and confirmation of things a glaring question remained unanswered to the fox.
“Are you...thinking about...doing something with it?” he offered with sheepishness and caution playing over his features. Judy was not upset by the question. It was an honest inquiry from someone who honestly could not know and from her mate, the one mammal that deserved to know.
Judy let that thought buzz for but a moment before she replied with calmness and equity. Her eyes fell.
“I want to keep it, Nick.” She stopped for a moment, feeling the words within herself till she was sure of them.
“I'm going to keep it. And I hope,” she said as her gaze rose to meet his once more, searching and hopeful as it was, “I hope that you'll want to keep it with me?”
A smile returned on his lips, one that Judy could read like the back of her paw and her heart swelled in an instance. His words made it all the sweeter with how honeyed his voice was. Honeyed, but honest in a way only Nick could be.
“You dumb bunny. Why would you even think for a moment that you'd have to take this journey alone?” Before she knew it Nick had drawn her into a hug, enveloping the bunny in the warm scent of his cinnamon affection.
“Of course I’ll stay.”
She bit her lip.
“Really?” she said, only half joking.
“I knew what I was getting into when we became partners. One Judy Hopps jumping into new things, and me jumping in right after her."
Nick pulled her back into his arms to administer another dose of care between them. Judy smiled against him, happy to know that this moment was real.
“I don't think you were expecting this when we became partners,” she chuckled.
Truth be told, he hadn't. Nick had dreamed that it was so, that their biologies were compatible on more than just a physical level and that they could one day produce a kit to call their own. He had hoped but he had never been sure. It was how these kinds of things were, he had rationalized. Not knowing was the main reason neither of them had elected to use a contraceptive when they engaged in their “nocturnal activities”. But now he Nick had his answer, and the thought was even more beautiful to him when he said it out loud.
“Judy,” he said with tears beginning to fill his eyes. “You're gonna be a momma.”
Her smile brightened and twinkled like Nick's eyes.
“Mmhmm. And you're going to be a daddy, Nick.”
“I'm gonna be a dad,” he repeated. The words seemed so surreal that he had to try them again. “I'm going to be a dad.”
The fox relinquished his hold to take some time to let the news sink in. He leaned over the bridge, took a breath, ran his paws down his face, and tried to stop grinning as his mind worked towards what was to be done about their future.
“There's so much we have to do! We don't have enough space at home so we'll have to get a bigger place. That's doable though, I have that nest egg saved up. And you have to go on maternity leave! No wife of mine is going to-” he stopped, froze was more appropriate to say, and stayed that way before he turned back to face his mate. His mate.
He saw Judy with her paws covering her muzzle. When they fell away he was relieved to see that a smile remained firmly planted there, unafraid of his latest Freudian slip-up.
“Judy….we're not even married.”
Judy hunched into herself, shrugging her shoulders up to hide in her own shadow, her smile turning sheepish and eyes growing nervous.
“Do you want to get married?”
A pause fell over Nick's blank face.
“....please don't tell me that was your proposal.”
Her pupils shrunk to microscopic focus and she turned rigid in her grasp.
“No! I mean, yes! I mean, maybe? One day. I think! Sweet cheese and crackers, Nick….”
It was almost like a smaller, cuter mirror of their conversation from their first night together, a point of which filled Nick with no shortage of pride that his honeybun was of a similar mind; nervous and flustered but willing to speak her mind despite such emotion. When he was sufficiently satisfied with watching his mate flounder all over the place Nick finally chimed in to provide some support and comfort.
“Calm down, honeybun. We don't need to start picking out matching toiletry sets yet. Though I'm sure you'll manage to worry enough for both of us.”
It was then that another realization made Nick’s eyes ignite.
“We have to tell your parents!” His face froze and melted back into excitement. “We have to tell my mom! Oh sweet fox Jesus they are going to lose their minds!”
Judy thought if she hadn't returned to holding his paws her fox would be squeeing like a tubby cheetah he was so elated. Now that she thought about it, Clawhauser was probably going to break all the glass in the precinct when he heard the news.
Nick knelt down till his head was even with Judy’s abdomen, excited to be as close to his new dream as he could. With his paws as gentle and soft as Judy had ever felt he lightly tugged her close till his ears rested against her belly. After a brief moment he nuzzled calmly, pulling back from his quiet hug to look up at amethyst eyes.
“I can't believe there's a baby growing in your tummy right now.” He hugged back at her causing Judy to gasp lightly at his show of wonderful affection. “And it's ours, Judy.”
Judy let her own paws find their way to the sides of his head, cradling the soft russet fur and tossling his ears about in a gentle stroke that made her fox purr. He purred at her. Judy hadn't even known that foxes could purr. And it was adorable.
“Believe it, Slick. I know I'm going to have to come to terms with this reality check just as hard as you are.”
Nick stood to meet her eyes once more. If he wasn't careful he was liable to lose himself in her again. Considering the wonderful nature of the news that actually wasn't a bad idea.
“God, I really need to kiss you right now,” he said eyes sparkling at her.
Judy's eyes sparkled right back as she lifted her paw under his muzzle.
“You dumb fox,” she said leading his muzzle till his lips fit snugly in hers. Soft warmth played through both fox and bunny with a taste that surpassed the sweetest fruits and candies either had ever tried. Judy tilted her head deeper into the kiss, her lips finding stronger purchase on the muzzle that was entwined with hers, and Nick smiled but quickly forgot the expression as he surged to taste her again. This was one for the books. Another first kiss, this time as up and coming parents.
Nick broke the kiss to look over his bunny, a move which had Judy painfully leaning after his mouth once he had left hers. When she released her breath and slowly opened her eyes up at her fox she was radiant, the light having returned behind her eyes and her wonderfully chubby cheeks hiked up into an equally bright smile.
“You've made me the happiest fox in the whole wide world, you sly, wonderful bunny.”
Judy couldn't help but feel the return of something, something fluttered inside her heart. It was trust, something she should've had in the fox the whole time. Time and time again he had proven his dedication to her and yet still she wavered. No more. He was going to start a life with her, a full life, and would never leave her. He would be there through the all of the good and all of the bad to hoist her higher.
“You know that I love you, Nick.”
“Do I know that, honeybun? Yes. Yes I do. And I hope you know I love you, too.”
“Always,” she said. “Always.”
Nick smiled, the warmth of his expression and their prior kiss having sent a flush from her eyes to her cheeks, and all the way down to her….
“It's kind of a miracle this even happened. I mean, neither of us even looked up fox or bunny breeding habits.”
Judy matched Nick's smile with her own, albeit a modicum more sinister.
“Speaking of breeding…”
Nick was suddenly very aware of how she moved to hold him. Her paws slid from his back to his sides, her hips dipped forward to nudge against his front, and her eyes narrowed over that deliciously wanting smile. That combined with the sudden spike in the air around them told the fox all he needed to know.
“What, here? Now?”
“What, you thought bunnies got less frisky? silly fox..."
She pulled him in for another kiss, longer and more passionate this time as one paw slid down to squeeze at the base of his tail. Simultaneously, her other paw slid lower still, ruffling fur and squeezing firm muscle. The flame of passion igniting into an inferno, she pulled her fox close and didn't let go of him for hours.
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