Work Text:
I walked into the Seminar classroom and smiled at Sebastian who was leaning against the table at the front of the room. Sebastian's lips curled up in a quick grin and his eyes flickered down to my lips before he glances away, a light happy flush settling on his cheeks, and I know that, just like me, he's remembering what we did last night.
I sat at my desk beside Autumn's and she greets me with a ‘hey’ without looking up from her laptop.
I pulled my own laptop from my backpack and sighed, rubbing my eyes tiredly as it booted up.
I was so glad that it was Friday and the is my last class of the day. Despite the fact that we went on a hike yesterday and he’s currently at the front of the room, I was just wanting to see Sebastian. See him where we could really talk, where we don’t have to pretend that things between us are strictly professional and, well, I was wanting to kiss him and kiss him and kiss him.
Going into my files to open the word document, I double click on the one I usually works on in class, the censored one that doesn’t share so much of our story. The file opened and loaded before closing just as quickly. I frowned. I double clicked again and it opened then closed. Huffing out a breath, I waited a few seconds before trying it again. It stayed open, but the document was blank. This time it was me who closed the document and opened it again. Still blank.
“No,” I breathed out quietly. I opened and closed it again. Nothing. “No,” I growled out, louder.
I closed the document and opened a different one. It was blank, too. “No! Shit, shit, shit!”
I was opening and closing multiple documents, only to find them all blank. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.”
Dread squeezing my gut, I opened the master document, the one filled with everything, the one that I didn’t let anyone look at. The one that meant so much to me, the one I put all my heart and soul into. The pages that were once filled with words and words and words were completely white. Nothing. “Fuck!”
I closed it and opened it again. An empty canvas. “Motherfucker!” All my work was gone. All gone.
“Fuck!” I screamed as I slammed my laptop shut and dropped my head to my desk as I groaned and buried my head in my arms.
“Um, Tanner?” I heard Autumn say my name quietly from beside me. “You okay?”
No, I am most definitely not okay I want to say.
“It’s gone, it’s all gone. Every file is blank and I just,” I break off, feeling tears forming in my eyes. I’m hot and cold all over. “Fuck me.”
I hear an awkward cough and my head shot up, looking back at all the faces staring back at me. Some of them look horrified and others in shock, and Sebastian, his eyes are huge and his face is redder than I’ve ever seen it. I realized that I was in a classroom full of Mormons who probably don’t hear some of the words I’ve just shouted out. In my fit of anger, I had forgotten that I was in class and not, in fact, in my bedroom by myself.
“Fuck, uh, shit, sorry.” I can feel my face flame and I avoid their stares. I open my laptop again and curl up instinctively, hiding behind it, feeling the shame flood through me.
Fujita tells the others to get back to work before he walks over to me. When he pulls up a chair beside me I’m quick to speak up, though I don’t look at him.
“I’m so sorry for that. I wasn’t even thinking and I just, I’m so sorry.”
“I presume something happened to your book?”
“Yeah,” I nod. “All the document’s I’ve been working on the whole semester were completely blank. None of them had any writing.” I angrily wiped away the tear that was making its way down my cheek. “I don’t even know what happened. They were fine this morning.”
“Your mother is pretty tech savvy, is she not?”
“You could say that,” I said with a light, watery chuckle.
“Talk to her when you get home. I’m sure she knows how to get it all back. Maybe leave your computer as is, to prevent making it worse? Try jotting out notes and brainstorming on paper.”
In the moment, I had been blinded by my panic, forgetting that my mom could save it, no problem.
I nod and close my laptop again as I smile at Fujita. “Thanks.”
He grinned “That’s what I’m here for.”
As he walks away, Autumn leans over. “What happened? It’s gone?”
“Yeah,” The lump in my throat making it difficult to swallow. “I’m gonna talk to my mom when I get home, see if she can restore it.”
She smiled. “That’s good, your mom can work wonders. But know that I know things are going to be relatively okay, what the hell ?” She whispered, smacking me on the back of my head. “You are literally the only person I know who can swear in class, loudly, might I add, and not get in trouble from the teacher.”
I can’t help the grin that spreads across my face. “Yep!” I say with only a little bit of forced cheerfulness. “I can’t help it if he loves me,” I bat my eyelashes at her, smiling sweetly. I know this irritates her and today is no different. She scowls.
“You are so lucky that I would get in trouble for saying half of what you said, but oh ho, just wait until we’re not at school.”
My only response to it was to smile and blow her a kiss.
When I look up to the front, I see a couple of people glancing at me, before looking away hurriedly. I sigh and wonder if anyone is going to tell their parents. I’m about to get out a piece of paper when I see Sebastian still staring at me, face a bright red. The colour had calmed down while I was talking to Fujita and Autumn, but when our eyes met, his cheeks darkened before he quickly looked away.
The rest of class was pretty uneventful, especially compared to my outburst.
When the bell finally rang, I rushed out of the door as fast as I could, eager to get away from the awkward glances I had been getting over the past hour. For the hundredth time, I was glad it was the end of the day, the end of the week. I wouldn’t have to face anyone other than Autumn and Sebastian before classes on Monday.
-
Just like Fujita predicted, my mom was able to completely restore my book, down to the last word. When trying to figure out what was it that caused my computer to delete everything, we figured that it was just a weird fluke that was probably caused by me, as of lately, overworking my laptop which had started getting old. She suggested that we look at new ones if I was going to be doing a lot more writing.
-
It was almost an hour into our work session / hanging out the next day, and Sebastian hadn’t made eye contact with me once and he was blushing a lot. More so than usual.
“Hey,” I said, putting my laptop to the side and looking at Sebastian. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah,” he replied, still looking at the papers in his hands. “Everything’s fine.”
“Sebastian,” I put my hand on his and he froze, blushing, staring intensely at where our hands were touching. “You haven’t looked at me at all today. Not since class yesterday… ” and that’s when I realized why he was acting this way.
I felt a smile coming on. “Was it something I said yesterday?”
“N-no,” he stammered, blush darkening.
“Really?” I asked in a teasing voice. “So, me shouting ‘fuck’ in the middle of class didn’t bother you at all?”
Face dark, he shook his head. I thought over what else I shouted in my panicked anger and a smirk spread across my face.
Leaning in closer, I cupped his heated cheek softly and whispered in his ear. “Perhaps it was when I groaned ‘fuck me’?” The heat in my palm intensified as I uttered the last words.
I pulled back far enough to see his reaction. His eyes had widened, pupils blown, his cheeks were such a dark red, and his lips parted a hair as his breathing got heavier.
I had to bite my lips to keep myself from grinning. I had no idea that saying things like that would get him so intensely flustered. I mean, he blushed all the time, especially around me, but damn, this is something else.
We were the only ones home for the weekend, so I made myself comfortable straddling his lap, pushing away the papers he had been looking at.
His hands instinctively gripped my hips and I shifted to get more comfortable when I felt that he was hard.
I ground myself down on him and grinned slyly when his eyes fluttered shut. “You like that? You like when I say to fuck me? Do you want to fuck me someday? Wanna fuck me and make me yours?”
“Yeah,” he gasped out. “Yeah.”
I angled my hips slightly, pressing my erection against his, feeling his outline despite the layers of our clothes between us.
“Can you feel me? Feel how much I want you?”
He nodded his head rapidly.
“Use your words, hun.”
“Yeah, yes. Yes, I can feel you. I want you, I wanna-” he moaned.
I ground myself down one last time as I came, muffling my groan against his lips in a kiss.
“I can’t- I shouldn’t- I- ugh” Sebastian broke off with a low groan as a dark spot spread across the front of his pants, dampening them.
I collapsed beside him on the bed, both of us breathing hard. Sebastian rolled and wrapped his arms around my torso, burying his face in my neck.
“I shouldn’t’ve- I- we’re-,” he sighed. “I’m not allowed to do things like that. We’re not allowed to… masturbate.”
“Just like how you’re not allowed to be here with me at all?”
“Well, yes, but being… gay is sort of different. I can’t control that. I can control, uh, you know.”
“Well, clearly you couldn’t, cause,” I mimicked flipping my hair. “I’m just too great.”
Sebastian laughed. “Yeah, I guess so.”
I closed my eyes and relaxed, feeling sleepy.
Sebastian entwining his legs with mine. “We should get back to work."
“Yeah,” I sighed.
Sebastian nuzzled his face in closer. “... But first a quick nap.”