Chapter Text
**DO NOT REPOST ANYWHERE**
Bucky had just got back to New York after spending a few years in Wakanda healing his mind and body. He had a robotic arm that was made to look and act as a real arm, he thanked Shuri every day when she gave it to him as a parting gift. Today, Steve and Sam were helping him move into his new apartment that he had bought in the same town Steve and he used to live in before he was shipped off to the war.
Sam had been complaining the entire trip, but to Bucky it was a normal thing, so he turned Sam out. Eventually, Sam started to kick Bucky’s seat which led them both to arguing. To an outsider Sam and Bucky looked like they hated each other, but they were the best of friends.
-
Bucky grunted as he put down one of the last boxes for his apartment. He stood, staring into the apartment until he heard steps coming closer. He took a deep breath looking to where the footsteps had come from.
He saw Sam breathing heavily going up the stairs holding a tiny box. He let out a breathy laugh before sitting down in the one recliner that was left behind by the last owner. Sam followed in Bucky’s footsteps to sit down, but instead of a chair, he sat on the floor.
As Sam settled onto the floor, more footsteps could be heard. Bucky looked up to speak thinking it was Steve. Instead he saw a glimpse of a girl that looked like she was from the past, but she disappeared from the door opening before he could get a good look. He shrugged before turning back around only to find Sam laying on his back with his eyes closed falling asleep.
-
Steve was the last one to walk into the room and set a lamp on the kitchen counter before shutting the door. Steve turned around to ask Bucky a question that he had asked many times before. When Steve asked the question, in union Bucky and Sam looked at each other and both rolled their eyes
"Steve, I don't want to join the avengers. I want a normal life. I'm starting it here and if you ever need me, just call, " Bucky said.
Steve looked at the floor going through his thoughts before speaking. "Bucky... I know you want a normal life, but I just don't want to lose you again, " Steve sorely said.
Bucky sighed and looked at Steve rolling his eyes, probably for the hundredth time today, then said, “You’re not going to lose me again, you dumbass. I’m safer here and I can keep at peace with my mind.”
Steve looked up from the ground and stared at Bucky for a few seconds then shook his head while laughing. Then walked over and pat Bucky on the shoulder before saying, “let’s put all this shit together so you can sleep peacefully tonight.” Sam groaned from his spot on the floor not wanting to do anything after walking up four flights of stairs in the hot New York weather.
Bucky and Steve laughed at his childish antics while they both got up and started to unpack boxes. Steve nudged Buck's shoulder saying, "I'm here for you Bucky, no matter what. Get out there and have the life you want. Find someone that makes you happy, okay?" Bucky looked at Steve and nodded his head with reassurance.
-
Bucky headed towards the box that had his bed frame wanting the bed to be the first thing he put together. He took one last look into the living room before lifting the box to take to the bedroom. The biggest room in the apartment was at the end of the hallway on the left. The apartment was a decent size, it had two bedrooms, a bathroom, a kitchen, and a living room. It was good enough for Bucky even though Steve said it would be too small.
While Steve was in the kitchen putting all the new dishes away, Sam was trying to build a T.V. stand in the living room. The other men could hear Sam cursing, all they could do was laugh loudly, in return Sam said, “Fuck you guys!”, which led to more laughter.
Bucky was in his room sitting on the floor reading instructions about the bedframe. At some point he opened the windows to his room and took his shirt off leaving him in his shorts. He sat back on the floor then started to put screws and bed frame parts in different piles. An hour of struggling and sweating later, he finally finished putting the frame together.
Bucky walked out of his bedroom into the living room looking at the progress Steve and Sam had done. Sam had gotten the stand up and was unboxing the T.V. and the movies he had gotten Bucky as a housewarming gift. He sighed in exhaustion; he hopes that they get this done tonight so they wouldn’t have to do it tomorrow too.
Bucky stood there for a few more seconds before returning to fix his room some more. Before going to his room, he grabbed the mattress dragging it with him. Putting the mattress on the bed frame only took five minutes then he walked over to four large boxes labeled ‘bedroom things’ that Steve had brought to his bedroom. He opened two boxes before finding the sheets for his bed and his pillows and their covers. When he was putting his bed together, Bucky’s thoughts took over.
-
He still wasn’t used to a bed yet and he’s been out of the hands of hydra for years. He still has anxiety walking out into the streets of New York. The nightmares come and go, but they are less frequent than usual. He walks with tense shoulders everywhere he goes, and he knows Steve notices, but Steve keeps quiet about it. Bucky knows it is going to take a while before he is at complete peace, so he takes it one step at a time.
-
He slowly made his bed going through his thoughts, this only took five minutes. Bucky noticed that the sun was starting to set, and his stomach started to rumble with hunger. After shutting all but one window, he grabbed his shirt and put it on, then walked down the hallway to ask the boys what they wanted for dinner. Steve and Sam looked at Bucky and shrugged. He sighed, rolling his eyes. “Do you want some burgers from the diner?” he asked, looking at them. The two men that were putting the kitchen table together nodded in unison. Bucky walked over to the door; bent down to put his shoes on.
-
As Bucky left the lobby of the apartment building, he ran his fingers through his chestnut hair. He cut his hair too, he wanted to leave hydra behind, so he cut it to his normal cut that he had from before. The diner was a five-minute walk, he wasn’t stressed about it. He would get to see the best friend that he made from coming to the diner after having nightmares. He saw it as luck when he found the old diner at one in the morning. Effie was a feisty old woman that took a liking towards Bucky that fateful morning. He eventually learned to trust her and told her who he was, this led to him being more open about his nightmares.
-
As he was opening the door, a girl with beautiful pinned up hair walked towards him. He paused and his eyes focused on her, it was like he had a flashback into the 40s. The girl was dressed in a pantsuit that had blue pants and a simple blue and white striped collared dress shirt. Bucky blinked a couple of times coming back to the real world.
She looked him directly in the eyes with the most beautiful smile he had ever seen, and she quietly said, "excuse me," before she walked through the door onto the street into the crowds of Brooklyn. He hadn’t realized that he had held the door open for her and she was gone within seconds. He hoped that he would see her again, maybe one day.
He woke up from his dazed thoughts by a hand waving in front of his face. The hand belonged to an old woman named Effie, his new friend. She took a liking towards him and he always wondered, why? He asked her a few times why she had taken a liking to him, but she would never answer and would smirk while walking away.
He got used to her crazy antics after he got closer to her. In a way, Barnes saw Effie as a mother figure, that’s one of the reasons he trusted her. This woman let him cry on her shoulder after a bad nightmare, Bucky might have felt ashamed, but Effie knew what it was like because her husband had the same night terrors.
He smiled at her and pulled her into a hug then walked over to the booth he always sat at. Effie walked over to the cook’s window to hand Buck’s order to be prepared. He watched as Effie walked around effortlessly, it didn’t look like she was near the age of one hundred. He looked around and took in the nostalgic feeling the diner gave him. The Diner was restored, and it still looked like it did in the late 40s.
He was pulled out of his thoughts when Effie sat in front of him. She murmured words that sounded like a hello to Bucky. She always called him James and at first Bucky hated it. He got used to the sound when he realized it reminded him of his late mother. He listened as she started talking to him about her great granddaughter, she always tried to sit them up on a date.
He always told her the same rejection: “No one is going to love someone like me Effie.” Effie’s heart tore little by little hearing him say this. Effie wouldn’t back down, always made sure to bring up her granddaughter, she knew if he let himself fall more, he would never come back from the darkness. She wanted him to have someone around to be there to help him up if he fell because she wasn’t getting any younger.
“James, have you seen my granddaughter yet? She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Back in our days every fella would’ve been after her, you know?" Effie said, looking at Bucky smirking like always.
" I know Effie. You tell me every time I come in here. You know, I have never seen her. How am I supposed to know if she is beautiful or not?” Bucky asked.
“Well James, you're supposed to believe me. She was the girl you held the door open for." Effie said glaring playfully at Bucky, “Let me find a picture of her, so you can see her again.” She walked to her purse. She pulled out a square picture and walked back handing it to Bucky.
Looking solemnly at Effie, Bucky said, "Effie, all I can say is she has a nice back side, but I don't see her face." Effie scoffed and slapped Bucky firmly on the chest, but he barely felt it. If only she still had the same strength as she did as twenty years old she would have backhanded him. He laughed as she glared at him while speaking, “Stop, joking around James. I’m being serious.” His laughter stopped as his food was placed in front of him.
"Com'on Effie, ease up. I was just rag'n you. You know I didn’t mean no harm." Bucky said pleadingly.
"Well eventually you will see her whole face. She lives in the apartment building not far from here,” Effie huffed, “the one you moved into.”
Bucky looked up from eating in shock but shook his head quickly before Effie noticed his expression. He nodded before speaking, “Hand me the picture Effie. Let me have another look,” Effie handed the small pocket photo over, “She is beautiful Effie and I know where she gets it,” he said, winking at her. Effie rolled her eyes at Bucky’s shameless flirting and flicked him on the forehead which caused Bucky to laugh. Effie eventually had to go back to work after only having a fifteen-minute break. Before she went back to work Bucky asked her for two to-go orders.
-
Bucky sat for another ten minutes before walking over to the cashier, who happened to be Effie. She smiled at him before putting two bags with burgers and fries in front of him. He smiled, handing her the cash he owed her. “Now hurry up, go fix the rest of your new apartment. Also, I put some of my homemade tea in a tin cup for you. Maybe it will help you sleep. I know you've been having trouble sleeping, baby, " she said as she walked to the exit of the bar so she could hug him bye for the day. He hugged the small framed woman goodbye for the night. There was a small chance of seeing her for another time tonight depending on his nightmares.
-
Walking up the last flight of stairs, Bucky reached into his pocket for his keys when something fell out of his pocket. He looked to where it landed and bent down to get it, “Shit. I gave this back to Effie,” he said out loud mostly to himself. Effie must have put it in his pocket while she hugged him. Effie wanted him to meet her granddaughter so bad. “That sneaky old woman,” he murmured, then sighed and placed the picture back into his pocket. He started his walk back up the stairs filtering through his keys eventually finding the right one.
He placed the key into the door, opening it and finding that the apartment was almost completed, Steve and Sam's heads popped up looking at what he had in his hands. He sat his keys and wallet then walked over to them and gave the food to them saying, “I’m going to finish up my room then go to sleep. You can sleep here tonight. It’s been a long day.” Both men nodded in agreement knowing it would be safer if they stayed the night.
He went to his room noticing that a side table had been put in his room. He shrugged his shoulders then started to unpack clothes piling them on the bed. He got up on his made bed; sat in the middle and started to fold and put clothes on hangers. By the time he got done the sun was starting to set. He figured he would go check on the boys before taking a shower. About to walk out of his room he paused for a second then turned back around and grabbed the pair of underwear and towel that he left out.
Bucky went into the living room and saw that Steve and Sam were watching a movie, but they looked like they were about to pass out. He yawned then turned around towards the bathroom. Turning the lights on, he sat his things on the bathroom sink then reached towards the shower knobs to turn water to his perfect temperature, hot but not hot enough to burn.
He took off his clothes and threw them into the hamper that’s in the corner of the bathroom. He pulled back the curtain, also noticing that someone put the shower products away. He stepped into the warmth of the water and soon his muscles became less tense with the soothing water hitting his scarred skin. He stood there in the silence, enjoying the water falling onto the shower floor.
Showers were always Bucky’s favorite time of the day; they were the only place where he could really relax. He reached for the shampoo then squirted at a small drop onto his head, rubbing his fingers through his hair the shampoo lathered. Putting his hands on his temples, he leaned his head back into the warm water pushing his fingers through his hair rinsing away the lathered shampoo.
He stood under the water letting it cascade down his body, then reached for his body soap and loofah, pouring only a small amount he then rubbed the loofah across his chest and down the rest of his body. Thoroughly cleaning his sweat ridden self, he stepped back into the water letting the soap trail off into the drain. Not wanting to get out yet Bucky stayed until the warm water became cold. He reached behind him to turn the cold water off and then pulled the shower curtain back and grabbed the towel from the sink.
He dried his body off with the towel until most of the water was gone, reaching for his briefs. After drying his hair and brushing his teeth, he headed to the kitchen to heat up a mug of Effie’s tea, he stood in the dim light silently waiting for the tea, he was in his own world when the microwave beeped and slightly startled him. Bucky grabbed the mug and walked to his room.
Leaving the one window open, Bucky went over his bedside table to find his clock and phone charger. “ Steve must have brought them while I was taking a shower ,” he thought to himself. He sat on the edge of his bed setting his alarm for nine am, then grabbing his phone plugging it up to its charger.
Before putting his phone down, he went to his music, and started a song, he kept it on repeat, it always helped him fall asleep. He also was thankful for Shuri because she had taught him how to use a modern phone. Standing up grabbing his mug walking over to the windows, he looked over the dimly lit buildings admiring the city with music playing softly in the background. Bucky watched the city until he finished his tea, he sat the mug on the side table. He grabbed the comforter off the bed and threw it on the floor. It was too hot, so he slept with a sheet and his one pillow, climbing into bed only to fall asleep in ten minutes.
-
As the trained soldier walked through the abandoned building looking for his next targets, he listened to the world around him trying to find a sound of life. Entering a different room of the house he heard a creak in the room, just a small sound. He stopped in his steps and listened to the faintest sound trying to analyze the room one more time. The creaking sound happened again so he followed it, only to find a small child with his mother and what looked like an infant wrapped in a thick blanket. The soldier froze in his steps, his thoughts collected and registered that these people were only three of the four targets he was supposed to eliminate. He reached to where his gun lay on his left hip and pointed it at the children and mother, and with no hesitation he killed them. When the child hit the floor, everything went dark...
-
Bucky was started out of sleep from another nightmare. They always get bad when he moves into new areas, he learned this when he moved around a lot after his escape from Hydra, he was terrified they would come back. He wiped the sweat from his face, blowing a deep breath from his mouth, the nightmares always made him short of breath.
He got up from his bed, walked over to his closet to find some shorts and a shirt, putting them on in the closet and a pair of shoes. He went to grab his phone, noticing that it was two in the morning, then walked out to the kitchen to get his keys and wallet from the counter, also making sure to stay quiet so he wouldn’t wake up his friends. Bucky opened the door slowly knowing it would squeak loudly if he opened it too quickly.
The sound of his footsteps was the only thing making noise in the early hours of the morning, he stayed as quiet as he could walking down the flights of stairs. When he got to the lobby there was a security guard sitting at the reception desk looking down at his phone, only to look up and nod at Bucky as he passed to walk out the door.
Breathing in the air of the city, Bucky turned left in the direction of the diner. He went there every night after a nightmare, he always talked to Effie about them. He always wondered why she was never afraid of him; she would always say she understood because her husband had the similar night terrors after the war.
It didn’t take him that long to make it to the diner. The first person he saw was Effie, she was sitting down at their usual table, but she wasn’t alone. It was the same woman he had held the door open for; the reason he knew that was because she was wearing the same clothes. He walked into the diner; Effie’s head popped up from hearing the door’s bell ding.
She smiled seeing Bucky, he waved his hand at her and started to walk to where she was. Effie stood up motioning him to sit in the booth, he knew it would be rude to sit in another booth, so he sucked up the courage and sat down. When sitting he barely made eye-contact with the other woman that sat across from him. He only looked at her when Effie said something. “James, this is my granddaughter. The one I always talk about. Introduce yourself while I go get your coffee.” With that she walked away leaving Bucky and her granddaughter together.
The woman in front of him smiled sweetly. “Hello James,” he raised his eyes with shock, she chuckled. “My Grandmother has told me a lot about you, that's why I know your name.” He nodded his head understanding “Do you know who I really am?” he asked with a serious voice. She nodded “Yeah, Effie doesn’t really keep secrets.”
He laughed at what she said, nodding in agreement. “So, you must have had a nightmare again? That’s why you’re here?” He nodded again. “She must talk a lot about me, huh?” Bucky asked. The woman spoke with her soft voice, to him it sounded like leaves rustling in the wind, a peaceful sound he always loved, “I’m a counselor and a teacher at a high school not far from here. Effie asked me for help. I’m sorry if she stepped over.” He shook his head “No, it’s okay. She helped me a lot. I appreciate you helping her help me.” She reached over and placed a gentle hand over Bucky’s nervous one. “Always, James. I should probably introduce myself. I’m Y/N.”
He felt her hand on top of his and his nerves calmed down a bit. When she said her name, he repeated in his head afraid he would forget it. She saw him relax a little “So, are you looking for any new friends? Also, Effie has been watching us for the last ten minutes from the kitchen window,” they both looked over to the small window seeing a gray head of hair ducking down, “she’s always so sneaky.” Bucky smiled at her comment about the old lady that he developed a friendship with “I think we are going to be great friends, Y/N.”