Chapter Text
The late afternoon sun painted the fields around the castle in flaming orange, turning them into pools of molten gold that surrounded the castle in a gently swaying sea. Up from the wall, Castiel could see the lands stretching all around him—the flatland slowly blending into forests and finally into the mountains lining the far horizon as a blue-hazed wall. And far away, somewhere beyond the mountains was the true North and the White, marking the border of their land.
Castiel couldn’t believe he’d lived in the North for just over three summers. It felt longer. The time when he’d arrived at the land of the Northerners—a young, uppity omega, betrayed by his brother and sold into a mating arrangement with an alpha he’d never met—seemed like a distant memory. Back then, he’d thought his life had been over. Instead, he’d found his true mate, fallen in love with the land and the people, and learned truths about himself he’d never even dared to dream about.
Truly, the North hadn’t ended his life.
It had given him a new one.
He closed his eyes, drew a deep breath, and sighed.
This was home.
He opened his eyes and glanced at the sky, taking in the familiar shapes of the aviating totems that hovered above him. It was a common experience, to have several totems accompanying him everywhere. The attention had felt almost stifling in the beginning, like he couldn’t be trusted to be on his own. Then again, he couldn’t really blame his clan—after all, he had tried to take his own life, and only the totems stepping in had prevented the history from repeating itself and a terrible tragedy from happening.
Over time, Castiel had learned to accept and cherish the solid presence of his silent guardians. He felt comforted, knowing that even though he was left alone, he was never truly alone and to get help or company, all he had to do was to look up and ask. The Northern totems were much more independent and fiercer than the Southern ones he’d grown up with: when they adopted someone as their own, they never let go.
As the pups got older, the abundance of totems willing to help the Laird of Grey Castle had proven handy. At times, Castiel was slightly worried the twins would grow up spoiled rotten: Marcel and Maryann were on their second summer and had wrapped the whole castle tightly around their little fists. But the Northerners had lived through tragedy and loss and after everything that had happened, the twins represented hope, future, and life bundled in a form of two temperamental pups.
The meaning hadn’t escaped Castiel, which was why he didn’t have it in him to restrict the clan’s shows of affection.
It didn’t mean the pups weren’t a terrible force when they decided to throw a temper tantrum. So far, only Missouri and Dean’s wolf had been able to contain the pups at the peak of their fury. Missouri had the quiet authority that somehow managed to terrify the pups into silence, and the wolf simply sat on them. Not even the heirs of the Castle lasted long with a wolf the size of a small horse pinning them on the floor.
The massive wolf had basically adopted their pups as his own and was never far from them. He had proven his value not only during tantrums but also during the pups’ daily naps. From early on, the twins had taken their naps curled against the wolf and gripping his fur. The first time it had happened, the totem had practically radiated pride and smugness that had earned him eye rolls and snorts from Dean, but also murmured words of endearment. Castiel had felt the double feedback from both his mate and their shared totem and he’d felt almost overwhelmed by the wolf’s fierce love and loyalty.
As long as the wolf was there, nothing bad would happen to the heirs of the Castle.
Castiel had taken the opportunity to catch some rest whenever they slept, fervently grateful for every silent moment. Even with all the help they got, parenting two energetic pups was far more taxing than Castiel would’ve originally thought. It wasn’t the physical fatigue as such, but more about the mental exhaustion of trying to keep up with the feeding, diaper changing, and teething.
He knew that had he been mated in the South, he would’ve had a league of nannies at his disposal, eager to take the pups out of his hands.
Here, he had a wolf that was at least as good as a league of nannies. Fondly, Castiel nudged the connection to the wolf, sending his affection and receiving a familiar warmth in return.
Now that the pups were older and slept better through the night, he’d started to take time for himself again, either reading, catching up with the Castle business, or simply taking a walk. Today, he’d already walked around the castle, checked the small patch of herbs he’d planted with his brother, and had yet another argument with said brother about the activities of the twins’ upcoming birthday celebrations. The twins already felt like they were the center of the world and no matter what Gabriel said, they didn’t need their birthday turned into a clan festival.
Castiel smiled when he felt a tug in his chest and didn’t turn when he heard the door behind him creak open and his alpha walked to him.
”Are the pups still asleep?” Dean asked, stopping behind Castiel. He wrapped his arms around him and rested his chin on his shoulder.
Castiel sighed contentedly and leaned his head back, humming as Dean nuzzled his neck and pressed a kiss on his mating scar. ”They’re with the wolf,” he answered and turned his head a bit to kiss the side of Dean’s jaw. ”They’ll probably wake soon. They’ve dropped their morning naps and only sleep in the afternoon.”
”Hopefully they’ll keep the habit for the foreseeable future. There’ll be no rest for you—or for any of us—when they eventually stop their naps altogether,” Dean muttered.
”Well, fortunately there are a lot of us,” he said softly.
”Thank the Heavens,” Dean sighed with feeling, and Castiel huffed a laugh.
The easy familiarity of the Northerners—the genuine well-wishes and offers to look after the Lord and Laird’s little family— still amazed Castiel. Sometimes it was more subtle, like advice about herbal tinctures to relieve belly aches or teething, or gifts of plush furs to keep the pups warm. And sometimes it was the blunt but no less loving scolding from Ellen after Castiel had exhausted himself while trying to manage the constant feeding and colic alone, or Bobby’s scruff announcement that the sauna had been warmed and Castiel didn’t have permission to do anything else but blissfully bathe that day.
They shared silence, enjoying each other’s company. Quiet moments like these were rare, and even though Castiel wouldn’t change his life for anything, he missed spending time alone with his mate.
After some time, Castiel’s ermine wriggled out from his pocket and climbed up Dean’s arm to curl around his neck. The sleek white totem still was careful about the time and place he chose to seek contact with the alpha even though he knew he was always welcomed, and Dean always thanked him with caresses and gentle words. This time was no different.
Castiel closed his eyes and let his mind wander. He felt the Castle and its inhabitants as a warm presence, his immediate family brighter than others. The clan was happy and well after yet another bountiful summer, eagerly waiting for the fall harvest and the winter that followed with long, sleepy hours of stories and crafting, only interrupted by the Midwinter Feast.
But somewhere under that happiness, he felt…restless.
He sighed and said quietly, ”The summer was good again.”
”But?” Dean asked after a moment.
”I don’t know. I have a… feeling,” Castiel said. He wasn’t sure how to express it other than a vague feeling of something not right.
Dean was silent for a moment, then let out a breath. ”Alright,” he said. ”Do you want to think about it or would you like to contact Pamela?”
Castiel bit his lip. Dean had never been overly fond of the odd white-eyed alpha, but he couldn’t deny her powers. Pamela had always been more attuned to the Heavens and ancestors than to the regular everyday life, but after what she’d done for Castiel after his nearly disastrous miscarriage, Dean was ready to go long ways to suppress his uneasiness around her.
Ever since Castiel had embraced his role as the heart of the clan and understood his vital importance to the North, his connection with the land had deepened. With time, he’d started to pick up things—signs of what was happening with either the land or the people. Usually, he figured them out himself but sometimes he’d needed help.
”I think I need to speak with her,” he finally said reluctantly.
”Okay,” Dean said. ”I’ll ask Sam to seek her out.”
They lapsed back into silence, but the easiness was gone. After a moment, Castiel decided to change the subject and asked, ”Has Gabriel talked to you about the school project already?”
”The what?” Dean asked back.
Castiel huffed a laugh. ”I take that as a no then. He has ideas.”
Dean groaned. ”Your brother and his ideas,” he muttered. ”I swear, he’s giving me heartburn on a regular basis. What’s he come up with now? School?”
Castiel chuckled at Dean’s sour tone. He knew it was just a front because as much as Dean rolled his eyes at Gabriel, he was actually fond of him.
Traditionally, the role of running the Castle affairs belonged to the alpha’s mate, but with Castiel preoccupied with the twins, Gabriel had stepped up to the role. As disastrous as the arrangement had first seemed, they were a good pair: Dean needed someone to poke and prod him and question his decisions to the point of exasperation, and Gabriel needed to know he had a free rein to run his area of responsibilities as long as he did his research and was ready to present evidence to back his ideas up.
Of course, they still butted heads and sometimes their arguments escalated to the point where either Castiel or Sam felt the need to step in, but all in all, they worked together well.
”He has some ideas,” Castiel said mildly.
”Oh?” Dean asked, suspicious.
The Northerners took pride in how all pups went to school for at least a couple of years to learn to read and write and to understand the basics of the clan politics and agriculture. It was unlike the Southern way, where the nobler pups were home tutored and the poorer families usually sent only their eldest pup to school.
”Gabriel wanted to… to shift the focus a bit,” Castiel said carefully. ”I think he’d like to widen the perspective a bit more.”
Dean fell silent for a while and Castiel could feel him mulling things over. Finally Dean asked, serious, ”By wider perspective, he means clan politics outside our own, doesn’t he?”
”I’d think so, yes. Also, he wants to add more about the history of the Northerners but that’s something he should probably ask Pamela too.”
”He should just ask Sam,” Dean pointed out. ” He’s the one pouring through the Castle archives. Unless Gabe’s afraid of Sam taking over his project.”
Castiel chuckled. Sam was a scholar by nature and would be beside himself with joy if he was given the chance to tell pups about the wonders of their ancestors. He just wasn’t sure if the pups were ready for the combined force that was Sam and Gabriel.
Satisfied that the issue was settled, Castiel let out a small huff of breath and stared into the horizon.
Dean didn’t say anything but after a moment he took a hold of Castiel’s chin and turned his head to catch his eyes. He pecked a small kiss on his lips and smoothed a finger over a frown Castiel hadn’t realized he was wearing.
”You’re thinking very hard,” he said softly.
Castiel blinked and shook his head as if to clear it.
Dean sighed. ”What do you think about the wider perspective? How much does it resonate with your feeling of something being off?”
When Castiel didn’t answer, Dean turned him and gave him a long, searching look. ”What’s going on, Cas?”
He sighed and rested their foreheads together. ”I’m not sure,” he said. ”But I don’t like it.”
As usual, the pups were brimming with energy as soon as they opened their eyes. Castiel had felt a slight nudge from the wolf when the twins were waking up and he was back at the family chambers just in time to catch Marcel who flung himself right into his arms, squealing ”Papaaaa!” as loud as he could. Castiel grunted when he caught his son and whirled him around, grinning at the delighted giggling.
After some more whirling and laughing and a short potty break, they headed to the kitchens, the wolf trailing behind them as a silent shadow, his paws making no sound on the floor.
The kitchen staff was busy with preparing dinner and when Castiel didn’t see Ellen, he set on the task of making a light snack for his pups himself. As the twins ate under the wolf’s watchful eye, Castiel brewed himself a pot of Pamela’s herbal tea. According to her, this drink was supposed to help his body to balance itself out after the long breastfeeding and eventually restart his heat cycle. It still tasted bitter and Castiel added a hearty spoonful of honey into his cup to make it drinkable.
He leaned on the wall as he sipped and wondered what would happen when his heat hit. Would he get pregnant again? And if so, would he carry another set of twins? He wasn’t sure if he’d be up to it, body or mind.
And what would his heat be like now, after the pups? Would he be as bossy as usual? Would it be as intense as it had been after his miscarriage?
”If you keep frowning that much, your face will stay that way,” Ellen said from his side, startling Castiel to almost drop his cup. ”Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” Ellen apologized. ”Are you feeling unwell?”
Castiel offered her a small smile. ”Not exactly,” he said.
Ellen gave him a narrowed look but didn’t question him further and Castiel heaved an internal sigh of relief.
”Has Gabriel made up his mind about the dessert table already?” she asked instead, redirecting the conversation. ”I need to know the plans soon so that I can order the necessary ingredients from Maple Falls. Or further down south, if needed.”
”He made up his mind a long time ago,” Castiel said dryly. ”He’s yet to see the error of his ways. I’m not going to let you spend ridiculous amounts of money on fruit ice sculpture!”
The Matron huffed and swept an imaginary dust speckle from her chest. ”I don’t see what’s wrong with that,” she said blithely.
Castiel wanted to groan but decided to take a long, hearty gulp from his tea instead. It was bad enough that Gabriel and Sam wanted to dote on the pups, but when Ellen—and Heavens above, Pamela—joined in, he knew he had lost. The four of them had constructed an elaborate system of deciphering who was the pups’ favorite, and no-one else understood how. Or why.
Castiel loved his extended family more than anything, but dear Heavens they could be exhausting!
When the twins were done with their snack, Castiel managed to wipe them relatively clean, thanking the ancestors that the pups loved bathing in the sauna because he had no idea how they’d get them clean otherwise. He was about to start cleaning up the mess his pups had made on the floor, but Ellen gave him a small smile and shooed them out of the kitchen.
’Thank you,’ he mouthed as he took each pup from the hand and walked them out. ”So, what should we do next?” he asked aloud.
”Áhkku Lin?” Maryann asked hopefully.
Castiel pursed his lips. ”I don’t know her plans. How about we try to find her and ask if she has time?”
Áhkku Lin was the pups’ name for Linda. Castiel wasn’t sure how exactly she’d placed herself in the position of yet another grandmother, but after the twins were born, that’s what she’d done. At times, her almost overbearing nature annoyed everyone to no end, but none of them said anything. Dean was still feeling guilty about Kevin’s death and they all sensed her aching loneliness dissipate when she was fussing about the pups or Gabriel.
They found Linda in the meadow outside the castle, picking late summer wildflowers. Her arctic hare was dozing off in a nearby sunny patch and, after carefully greeting Castiel’s ermine, she hurried to jump into Maryann’s lap. In general, the castlefolks’ totems were very tolerant and fond of the pups, but some were more friendly than others. Linda’s arctic hare had been fond of Maryann since the beginning, and, after making sure that Castiel didn’t find it offensive, Linda had let them be.
Even after all this time in the North, Castiel was still having some difficulties dealing with the ease the Northerners touched other people’s totems. The majority of the totems’ interactions still happened between the totems themselves, which was a relief. Castiel could handle the casual touching from the totems of those closest to him but from complete strangers, it would be another thing. Nevertheless—or perhaps it was exactly why—he was happy that his pups would naturally grow up into the easy intimacy of the Northern ways.
”Afternoon, Castiel,” Linda said with a brisk nod. ”Hello, pups. Did you come to make garlands with me?”
While Marcel beamed, Maryann’s face fell but she didn’t protest. Knowing his daughter, Castiel thought she’d probably hoped that Linda would sit down and tell stories, but Linda seldom gave herself the luxury of just sitting down. She was usually busily at work of either sewing, binding wreaths, or gathering herbs and flowers for dyeing. Grey Castle was self-sufficient in many things, including weaving fabric, and Linda was one of the most skilled seamstresses living in the immediate castle vicinity. Neither Castiel nor Dean had asked her to take the responsibility of the pups’ clothes, but she’d taken over with almost brutal efficiency, and they hadn’t had the heart to tell her otherwise.
The wolf plopped himself down to the sunny spot Linda’s hare had vacated and rested his head on his front paws, letting out a heaving sigh. Castiel snorted and muttered under his breath something about a hard day’s work, sleeping on the bed first and on a sunny patch after, but the wolf ignored him and closed his eyes.
Castiel didn’t need to reach for their connection to know he was alert despite the appearances. Nothing and no-one would take the Laird and his pups by surprise as long as the wolf was there to guard them.
Sitting down beside the wolf, Castiel started the monotonous task of weaving. He’d never been that good with his hands, but with Linda’s help he’d learned his way through simple things like garlands, and to his surprise, he’d found he liked it. The slow, repetitive moves gave his hands something to do while he tuned out the constant chatter of his pups and the slow, deep breathing of the wolf, and let his mind wander.
Try as he might, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off.
He didn’t like keeping things from his mate, and the uneasy feeling had been bothering him for a while, lurking just outside his periphery. It had started as a sense of something awakening in the South and had gradually turned into an itching under his skin, demanding his attention.
And then there were the dreams.
They weren’t nightmares, not really. He’d had his fair share of nightmares and these dreams were nothing like them. He didn’t wake up drenched in cold sweat or with a cry on his lips, not even with a sense of doom. Instead, he would open his eyes in the middle of the night and just know he’d have to prepare.
For what or how, he had no idea.
That was the biggest reason he wanted to see Pamela. The white-eyed alpha had helped him a lot in the past and Castiel had the feeling he’d need more help in the near future.
Even if he had no idea how to prepare, he was going to do exactly that.
Prepare.