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Some people call Stiles a faction traitor behind his back. He knows that. He mostly doesn’t care. He came in second in his initiation class, just behind Allison, and he knows that he’s better than the people who talk shit about him and that’s why they don’t say anything to his face. They’re cowards and they don’t deserve to be Dauntless.
When Stiles was sixteen, even before the test that confirmed his aptitude for Dauntless, he knew that’s where he was going to go. People aren’t supposed to talk about what they’re going to choose before they do, but he was born Candor and he couldn’t let his father be surprised about his choice on choosing day.
The reason he chose Dauntless, that he knew even before the testing that that was the faction he’d choose, is because he wanted to be brave. Not because he was already brave, but because he was scared as hell and he wanted to be able to be courageous. The Dauntless manifesto says “We believe in freedom from fear, in denying fear the power to influence our decisions” and that’s who he wanted to be.
So people can say anything they want, really, he’s Dauntless through and through, even though he spends a lot of time with people in other factions. He knows it’s weird, people usually don’t do this, but he can’t help it. Scott and Lydia are his best friends and Scott is Amity and Lydia is Erudite. His father is Candor. And then there’s the reason he spends so much time volunteering with Abnegation... Derek.
“Don’t you have a job? How can you spend so much time volunteering here? Isn’t it against Dauntless’ rules, or something?” Derek asks him. They’re distributing food for the factionless for the day and he’s probably a little annoyed that Stiles always manages to find out where he’ll be at any day.
“I do have a job. They don’t mind me being out, though, Allison tells me everyone is mostly relieved not to have to deal with me. They say I’m annoying. As if.” He sees Derek taking his gray sweatshirt off to give to a factionless woman who’s shivering from the cold and rolls his eyes. Derek’s only wearing a thin gray abnegation shirt underneath it and it’s really cold.
“Maybe they would like you more if you knew how to keep your mouth shut.” Derek tells him, still handing out cans of food to men and women on the street. Stiles sometimes feels bad about how much he doesn’t care about the factionless, but he’s fine with it most of the time, they’re weak people who couldn’t handle the faction they chose. “But I guess that’s to be expected from a faction transfer from Candor.”
“Oh my God, Derek, have you been asking around about me? Isn’t that curiosity? Isn’t it frowned upon in Abnegation? And I thought you were a stiff all the way, I guess there’s a little Dauntless in you still.” He sees Derek tense up and regrets teasing. He should have known Derek wouldn’t like it, Derek probably thinks teasing is self indulgent, or something.
“I haven’t been asking around about you. If you must know, Laura and Cora came to see me last week and Cora was complaining she wouldn’t get to have you as her initiation instructor because she’s Dauntless born.” They run out of food cans and Stiles hears Derek sighing because there are still a lot of people without food around. If Stiles knows Derek – and he likes to think he does by now –, he’ll probably eat less himself just to be able to give more to those people.
“Your sister is such a little brat. Every time she sees me she complains about how much I suck and now she’s going behind my back to talk me up. If she thinks I’m going to help her with initiation tips, she’s wrong.” He knows Derek is trying really hard not to roll his eyes at him and it makes him grin. “Well, Derek, now that we’re done with our selfless act of the day, you should come have lunch with me at Dauntless, we’re having chocolate cake for dessert.”
“The food the Dauntless choose to eat is ridiculous. You don’t need it. You eat it just because you like it. That’s a waste of resources that could be used to help people who actually need help.” Stiles shakes his head. “You should probably get going, the choosing is tomorrow and I guess you’ll be too busy to harass me for once.”
“Yeah! Dauntless initiation boot camp! I’m super excited to see my little faction transfers suffer, actually. It’s going to be fun. I’ll miss you though, stiff. I guess I’ll see you in a couple of weeks.” He says, then runs to jump on the train that’s passing through the city, heading to the Dauntless compound, his home.
-
“Ugh, you’re brother is insufferable.” Stiles complains to Laura, watching her tattoo a fourteen year-old who’s definitely going to regret that decision in two years time, even if she stays at Dauntless.
“Stiles, I’m fucking working.” Stiles rolls his eyes. “Shouldn’t you be working?” He’s sitting on the other chair in the room and looking at her work and he can feel the annoyance in his bones.
“I’m tired of my kids, they’re too whiny. I want to punch someone every time I hear the word ‘unfair’. And Allison agreed to teach the knife throwing for me because I hate it.” He feels justified in hating knife throwing. He got good at it during his initiation and he still trains a lot, but it reminds him how he was the worst at it in his initiation class, three years ago. He still believes he could have beat Allison in the rank if it wasn’t for it. “But back to the subject. Derek. How do I get him to go out with me?” Laura starts laughing so hard she has to take the tattoo gun off the girl’s arm.
“Stiles, did you know Derek has three tattoos?” She asks him when she finally stops laughing and it makes him sit up, curious. “One of them says ‘I’ll be my undoing if I become my obsession’. Which is ironic because Abnegation thinks tattoos are self serving, but he was still here when he made it, so…” Stiles recognizes the line from the Abnegation manifesto. It tamps his hopes a little.
“How about the other two?” Stiles asks her.
“Wouldn’t you want to know?” She smirks. She’s Stiles’ least favorite person. “He’s coming on visiting day for Cora.” Stiles loves her a lot.
-
On visiting day, Stiles’ dad shows up as he did in every visiting day since Stiles’ transfer to Dauntless. He can show up at the place any time, he’s the Candor leader, but he says he can’t not show up on visiting day because it became tradition. Scott’s with him. Stiles can’t stop looking around for Derek.
“How are the kids this year?” Scott asks him, smiling, dressed in red denim pants and a yellow shirt, like a true Amity.
“I still don’t understand why you call the initiates kids when you’re barely older than them.” His dad says and it makes Stiles smile that he still considers Stiles a kid.
“I swear they’re getting worse every year. I think there are too many Candor transfers in the bunch," He turns to his father. "I don’t know what you’re doing over there to make them want to come here.” His dad tries to say something, but Stiles goes on. “But keep doing it, it makes me remember the older days.”
“Ugh, you were even more annoying than you are today.” Scott complains. “No offense, Mr. Stilinski.” Stiles laughs.
“That’s not very Amity of you, Scott.” Stiles finally sees Derek on a corner, talking to Cora. “Hey, why don’t you tell dad how Melissa is doing? I have to do something super important, I’ll be back in five.”
-
“No way, Stilinski, he’s here visiting me, go back to your Amity boyfriend and leave me alone.” Is the first thing Cora says when Stiles approaches them. Stiles feels kind of bad, Cora probably doesn’t see Derek a lot. But he also really, really wants to spend more time with him, so it’s hard to do what’s probably the right thing.
“Cora, be nice.” Derek chastises her. “Hello, Stiles. Cora was just telling me how she wishes she knew how the transfers were doing because she thinks she’s ranked first among the Dauntless born. Maybe you could help with that.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry, my kids are going to kick your ass.” Cora punches him in the arm. “Who am I kidding? They’re awful. But I’m in everlasting hope that at least one of them will kick ass at the sim– I mean, at the second phase.”
“Ugh, you’re ridiculous, Laura already told me everything about the simulations. I know I’m going be awesome at it.” Stiles doesn’t say anything, but he doubts it. Cora’s got a lot to be afraid of.
“So, Derek, I was thinking that since you’re already here, maybe you could stay and have dinner with me after visitation hours end, break the rules a little, I know the Dauntless side of you would want to.”
“I’m sorry, but my neighbor’s daughter is sick and I offered to keep his house clean while he’s at the Erudite hospital with his wife.” Stiles sighs.
“Of course you did. I guess I should get going, then.” It’s the seventh time Stiles asks him out and the seventh time Derek refuses. Stiles goes back to his father and best friend.
-
Stiles sees Derek again a month later. He got Dauntless to donate clothes they didn’t wear anymore so he could take to the factionless. He doesn’t actually think they deserve it, but it’s really cold and it makes him feel better knowing people won’t die of hypothermia. People can make him sound Abnegation all they want, helping those who can’t help themselves is still a Dauntless trait.
Seeing Derek is a surprise then. Stiles usually bribes Lydia with cake to find out where Derek will be when he wants to see him. Lydia always delivers. He gave up asking how.
Derek’s got the Abnegation short haircut and the gray clothes. He’s not wearing more than a t-shirt again and the idiot probably gave all his sweatshirts away. Stiles hates him a lot. He wants to kiss his stupid mouth.
“Laura told me you started a donation campaign at Dauntless. It was brave of you to do it, knowing what people would say about it.” Stiles smiles.
“You know, we believe in shouting for those who can only whisper.” Stiles quotes from his faction’s manifesto, proud of knowing it all by heart, even if he sounds like an Erudite.
“Not a lot of people live by their faction’s manifesto anymore, you know that. It’s often a surprise when they do. Most people haven’t even read the manifestos, except the Erudite.” Stiles nods. Most Dauntless initiates think that they can’t be afraid of anything, like that’s what their faction is about.
“So you have read the manifestos?” Stiles asks.
“Not all of them.”
“There’s this one verse in Abnegation’s that I like. ‘I will forget the ones I love if I do not serve them’. You should probably do something not to forget me. I’m pretty hungry, maybe you could have dinner with me.” He says, flirtingly, and watches Derek take a deep breath.
“All right. I’ll make you food. Come with me.” It’s such a surprise that it takes Stiles a few seconds to understand. He grins and fist pumps.
-
At the end of the night, after a dinner of Abnegation food that Stiles had to suffer through, Derek looks calmer, more relaxed. Maybe it’s the fact that they’re in his Abnegation house, rectangular shaped, gray walls, gray floor. This is probably Derek’s comfort zone.
“So, why did you left Dauntless for Abnegation?” Stiles finally asks. He’s been wondering that for a long time.
“Do you know how many of the factionless come from Dauntless? It’s not an inclusive faction, Stiles. The Dauntless want not only for people to be brave, but also for people to be able to act on their bravery. You only admit ten initiates per year and the rest is left to live factionless. People die all the time trying to pull the ridiculous stunts most of you take for granted and they lose their faction when they become too old. The only faction more selfish than Dauntless is Erudite and even they treat their members better.” It makes Stiles sad that that’s what Derek took in consideration when deciding his faction. He knows there’s a lot of bad in Dauntless, but there’s a lot of good too. “And my aptitude test told me I should be Abnegation.”
“There was still Dauntless in you, though. It takes a lot of guts to change factions. I mean, I’m a transfer too, you know? I know what it’s like not agreeing to a faction’s policy.”
“Yeah, but your father is there. I don’t think I would have been able to leave Dauntless if my parents were still alive when I had to choose.” Stiles remembers his mother, in Candor black and white, and wonders how hurtful it would have been if he had lost his father too. He puts his hand over Derek’s for comfort, but Derek takes his hand away right away. Stiles blushes and gets up from the uncomfortable chair he’s sitting on.
“Sorry.” He says to Derek. “I guess I should go.”
“Stiles, wait–” Derek starts to say, but Stiles closes the door behind him, runs towards the train that’s going to take him to Dauntless again, his faction. He should probably stay there more.
-
Someone knocks on Stiles’ door, later that night. He wants to ignore it because it’s probably Jackson gloating again about how the number one initiate was on his group. As if it’s hard when you instruct the Dauntless born.
He opens the door to see Derek on the other side.
A thousand things go through Stiles’ head, but the only thing that comes out of his mouth is “What are you doing here?”
“All the times we see each other you manage to say that I’m still Dauntless, even if just a little.” Derek tells him, green eyes bright.
“Do I? Does it offend you? Do you want me to apologize or something?” Derek shakes his head.
“We do not believe in limiting the fullness of life.” Derek says, then puts his hand on Stiles’ neck and kisses him. Stiles gets the chance to see Derek’s two other tattoos.