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Mrs Hudson was crying already, how predictable of her, they’d barely got past the vows. Then again the general populace had never managed a control on their emotions as Mycroft had taught him. It had begun after Redbeard, when Sherlock had decided never to feel that way about anything ever again and had gone to his brother, who had had a mastery over himself for as long as he could remember, for help. It had taken a little while but eventually Sherlock had managed to hide the little boy who loved his dog and used his first name. He had become Sherlock Holmes and had been very successful at it for the past few decades.
Until Mrs Hudson had insisted he have a flatmate at Baker Street. To prevent you from destroying the place young man. As if he would have managed that. Okay perhaps. And then he’d met John Watson and he’d managed to become a friend.
Of course that was all past history. Blinking away memories Sherlock made himself focus on the scene in front of him. He was sitting at the front row of John and Mary’s wedding, against the aisle so thankfully only Mrs Hudson was sitting against him at the church they’d chosen ages ago.
“Does anyone here know reasons as to why this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony?”
Yes a part of Sherlock’s brain whispered before he could stop it, it should be me up there with him. He sighed internally, shut up, he told himself John made his choice and you did nothing to stop it.
Last chance, the voice that sounded irritatingly like Mycroft continued, last chance to prevent losing him forever.
“Speak now or forever hold your peace.”
Don’t let him go Sherlock, deep breath and do what you have to.
Sherlock stood. “Wait,”
He saw John, Mary and the priest turn to look at him in astonishment, the church had gone eerily silent and the detective gathered all of his courage as he took a step towards the couple.
John had dropped Mary’s hand and was staring at him “What’s going on Sherlock?”
The best man came to stand in front of his only friend in the world and looked into his eyes “I’m sorry John I can’t do this.”
The groom looked perplexed “Do what?”
Sherlock allowed his emotions to show for the first time since the wedding planning had begun “Let you get married to someone else John, I just can’t.”
He watched realisation dawn on the shorter man’s face and he looked torn.
“Doctor Watson?”
They both turned to look at the priest, who hadn’t moved from his original position, just like Mary, who was looking from one to the other, speechless.
“John?”
The doctor’s eyebrows knit together for a second “Just a minute.”
He turned back to Sherlock “So what, you’re worried you’ll lose your best friend so you’re going to sabotage my wedding?”
The detective opened his mouth before closing it, slightly offended that John would think so little of him. This wasn’t how he’d wanted to do it but it was now or never. “I’m sabotaging this wedding because I love you.”
He heard the church gasp collectively at his words and glared at them for a moment before turning his focus back to John, who still looked as though the floor had been pulled out from underneath him.
“You, what?”
Sherlock put his hands on his shoulders and lowered his voice “I love you and I couldn’t let you marry someone else, it’s always been you John.”
“Sherlock,” The two syllables came out as a harsh whisper and sounded agonised, the detective could see the moment he gave in and pressed their foreheads together, forgetting where they were.
“I love you too, you insufferable bastard,” John whispered and Sherlock choked out a laugh before connecting their lips.
And then they were kissing, and they could have been anywhere in the world. It stopped being chaste the moment John pushed his tongue into the other man’s mouth and he couldn’t have been happier because this was everything he’d wanted, it was perfect and noise was erupting around them, it sounded like applause but then someone tapped him on the shoulder and…
Sherlock abruptly came back to himself. He was still sitting in his seat while everyone else was still applauding as John and Mary kissed. Man and Wife.
It was Mrs Hudson who had tapped him, she’d stopped crying for a moment and was looking down at him.
“You alright dear?” She looked worried.
Sherlock shook the last thoughts of the fantasy away and wrestled it back into the distant part of his mind palace where he kept all such feelings as pertaining to his blogger.
“I’m fine Mrs Hudson, I was just thinking about a case,”
She looked suspiciously at him but let it drop, her eyes going back to the happy couple who had turned to face the crowd.
John looked towards him and he shoved down a final pang of longing, he met the doctor’s gaze with a fake smile fixed back to his face, his walls very firmly back up. Which was where they would have to stay indefinitely.