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“You know this isn’t healthy, right? Us fighting, all the time? It’s actually getting old, Yoo.” I huffed, maneuvering around his frame in the doorway of our bedroom, a laundery basket in toe. “Yeah, I get that. Do you think it’s fun, always having to deal with you? Your constant whining and complaining. ‘Yoo, when wil you get home?’ ‘Kihyunie~ah? I miss you, let’s cuddle.’ ‘Ki? Wanna go do something?’ Gah, it’s like I can’t even breathe when I’m around you!”
He exhasperatedly sighed, throwing his hands up. I stood, the launder basket now sitting on the audomin of our bed. “That’s not even whining and complaining, Kihyun! Tha’ts called wanting to soend some damn time with you-” “Maybe I don’t want to spend any time with you, Y/N!” Kihyun suddenly shouted at you. You guys had fought- hell, you had small arguments just about everyday. But he’s never said anything like that.
It hit a nerve, and suddenly I felt the need to cry, and sulk. “Kihyun, if you don’t want to spend time with me, then w-why are you here..?” I questioned sadly, hiccuping towards the end. He stared at me for a long long time, before shrugging. “I guess I don’t really know.” He said, as if it was easy for him to say he didn’t know why he was with me anymore. I looked around the room, everywhere but his face, before my eyes landed on the laundry basket.
It was mostly my clothes, but about 8 of Kihyun’s items were littered about the basket. My eyes clouded over, and A lump formed in my throat, making it hurt, ache, and burn like my whole body right now. I nodded, trying to swallow, but my saliva got stuck in my throat; sticky. I looked around again, but this time all I saw was the floor, keeping my eyes downcast. “So,” I coughed, trying to clear my throat. “D-Do I leave..? I asked, my voice cracking obviously, and I saw Kihyun step closer to me, as if to comfort me, before he stopped.
“No, I’ll go. It’ll be fine. I’ll pack some stuff, go to Jooheon’s for the night, then come and get the rest of my things later.” I nodded, turning away from him fully. I stared at our bed as he moved around the room, collecting things he’d need; phone, charger, underwear, socks, a bag to put it all in. My eyes stayed fixed on the basket on our bed, tears spilling over my waterline. When he has finally grabbed all he needed for the night, he stood in the doorway, again. “Y/N?” He said my name like it was a question, like he was unsure.
I made a noise in response, letting him know I heard him even though my back was facing him. “I, uhm..” He faded. Hope rose in my blood. Maybe he was going to tell me he’d decided to stay. “I’ll call you when I need to come get my things.” And with 11 words said, my heart had completely shattered. When I didn’t respond, he turned and left the room, shutting the door behind him. As soon as he did this, a cry broke from my throat. I turned, my sadness turning into anger. I threw the laundry basket off the bed, the clothes scattered across the hardwood floors.
I choked, silent sobbing as I took in what had just happened. My whole world, the boy I loved the most, had walked away from me. My whole world felt like it was crashing around me, and my sobbing hardened. My pulse throbbed in my temples at how hard I cried. When I gasped for breath, I realised it wasn’t enough. My vision blurred, them blacked as I passed out on the floor.
When I woke up, It was dim, maybe evening or eary morning. I sta up, my head still feeling dizzy. I slowly stood, looking around the room for my phone the check the time. I looked lazily, rubbing my foreheas, that still had a dull ache. I spotted it, halfway slid under the bed. I leaned down reaching for it, sliding out Kihyun’s white ‘obey’ shirt when I grabbed my phone. I stared at it sadly, thinking of the events that took place before I blacked out.
I slid my shirt off, leaving me in just my spanx, before slipping his shirt over my upper half. It smelt like him, and teares gathered in my eyes again. I kept a straight face as the tears fell, unlocking my phone to see a picture of me and Yoo as my screensaver. 6 missed calls, 26 text messages. My eyebrows furrowed, glancing at the time. It was now a new day, in the evening. I had slept a whole day. Wow. All the missed calls were from Hyungwon, but I had texts from all the members, except Kihyun. He must have been doing fine, wich is good considering it was only the first day of us being broken up. I laid on our- my bed, curling under the covers.
I responded to the texts telling the boys I was okay, but texting Hyungwon and telling him how I truly felt. I had always gone to Chae with my problems, and he somehow always knew what to say. A few minutes after I texted him he said, “Kihyun’s been rlly upset too. Wanna come over and talk?” I smiled at my best friend feeble attempt at getting me out, but I declined saying I wasn’t feeling up to it. Which was the truth, all I felt like doing was crying. So that’s what I did.
The first day, I only left my bed to use the bathroom and get water. I alid around, cried, talked to Hyungwon, and listened to Monsta-x.
They second day, I started to feel gross. My hair was getting sticky and kihyuns shirt smelt like sweat. But instead of taking care of myself, I cried.
The third day, I stopped texting Hyungwon back right away. It took me about an hour to respond to any text he sent, while it took him a minute. I didn’t cry to much anymore, just short bursts of sobbing every now and then.
By the fourth day, I stunk. My hair looked like it was stuck to my head in strings, and when my fisted my hands and pulled them apart, they were sweaty.
On the fifth day, there was a knock at my door. I didn’t get up. In fact, I didn’t even flinch when the front door burst open and slammed against a wall. “I know she’s here, Wonho. She hasn’t left in a long time.” I heard Hyungwon say from right outside my door. I heard a light knock, then it creaked open a little. “Oh god, Y/N.” Wonho spoke from behind Hyungwon, covering his mouth. Hyungwon’s eyes widened, and he rushed over to me.
“Y/N.. Oh honey what have you done..?” I shook my head, looking back and forth between the boys. “Nothing.” I croaked. It was the most I had said in five days, and it hurt my throat to even speak. Hyungwon’s eyes closed, and he covered his eyes. Wonho stared at me, his eyes glazing over. I sat up, trying to shake Wonnie shoulder. “C’mon, you big baby. I’m fine.” I tried to laugh, but I couldn’t even bring myself to smile. “You need to see yourself.” Hyungwon spoke almost angrily., grabbing my arm and lifting me out of bed. He dragged me to my bathroom, pushing me in front of my full body mirror.
My eyes had a sunken in look to them, my cheekbones were prominent, and my skin had taken on a grayish tone. I don't even want to talk about my hair. I looked dead . I hung my head low, crying freely. I felt a pair of arms wrap around me, and when I looked up Wonho was hugging me. I clinged to his muscular frame, crying silently into his neck. Hyungwon stepped out of the room to call someone, and I soon realised he was talking to Shownu. Wonho pulled away, before stepping back, cupping my face.
“I love you to death, Y/N, but I can’t see you this way. So you’re gonna take a shower, and then we’re going to talk to Kihyun. He’s no better than you are.” Wonho spoke. I nodded, grabbing a towel and robe from under the sink. When both boys had left the room, I showered a long, 45 minute shower. When I stepped out, both boys had made my bed with fresh sheets, had clothes laid out for me, and had a sandwich on a plate waiting for me.
I smiled, sitting next to both boys, devouring the sandwich. I still looked like I hadn’t eaten in 7 years, but I felt a little better. After I had gotten dressed and ready, we rode over to Starship entertainment’s practice building. We stepped through the front doors and the receptionist bowed to Hyungwon and Wonho. They led me through a bunch of corridors, before arriving in front of a door with a small window in the top center. I looked through the glass, seeing I.M, Jooheon, Minhyuk, Shownu and Kihyun practicing.
I watched in amazement as his body moved to the rythm, his feet moving quicker than light. Hyungwon leaned in and kissed my head before opening the door. Everyone kept on dancing, not hearing us over the music. I stood in awe as the man I loved more than anything danced hisnheart out- doing what he loved. The music suddenly stopped, the boys turning to look at where the three of us stood in the doorway.
Kihyun turned last. Everyone stared at me, taking in my fragile state. When Kihyun’s eyes landed on me, he immediately covered his mouth, running toards me. He crossed the floor of the practice room in 5 seconds, standing right before me. His hands shook as he rose them to my face, gently cupping my sharp cheeks. “Oh.. Baby no..” He cried, pulling me against him. He clutched me, crying freely into my hair.
Kihyun never cried, especially in front of the boys. I held onto the back of his shirt, burrying my nose in his neck. I breathed in his smell, soothing my nerves. He was slightly sweaty and hot, but this was the Kihyun I wanted and loved. “Y/N- I-I’m so so sorry. I should have never left you. Look at you! You look so unhealthy, my love. I’m so damn sorry.” He whispered, burrying his face in my hair. I leaned up, kissing his jaw gently.
“I forgive you, Kihyun.” He pulled his face back fully, pressing his mouth againt mine. “Baby. i’ll never leave you alone again. You are the most precious thing I have. I will never take you for granted again.” I smiled, nodding at him. “I know, Kihyun. But by the way, Yoo suck.” I giggled. He smiled through his tears, tilting his head back. “Hey, lame-o’s!” Jooheon called from across the room. “Get a room, nasties.” Kihyun and I giggled, walking out of the practice room calling our goodbyes.
When we finally arrived home, Kihyun held me and craddled me until I fell alseep, whispering soothing words into my ear. I woke in the middle of the night with a start, my chest sticky with sweat, and my cheeks were damp. I heaved, feeling around for Kihyun. When my hand hit hs chest, he mumbled something in his sleep before opening his eyes.
“Baby? What’s wrong?” He asked groggily, not seeing my tears or chest heavlily rising and falling. “I-I had a-” My words got caught on my tongue, and I instead curled myself into Kihyun’s arms. He welcomed my presence, kissing my lips softly when I reached for them desperately. He held my face lovingly as we kept pressing kisses to eachothers mouths. When I pulled away, he stared down at me, our eyes having adjusted to the darkness. “You had a nightmare. I can tell, you look scared.” When I nodded, he pulled my face into his chest, rocking us back and forth. He whispered soothing encouragements and compliements. I soon fell back into a deep slumber, my heart centimeters away from Kihyuns.
When I woke up the next morning, Kihyun was seated beside me, gently caressing my cheek. I smiled sleepily, turning my head to kiss his palm. “I’m glad you came to the studio. I really was worried about you, yanno.. When I saw you, all my fears had been put into life in the form of my girlfriend. I was so sad seeing you so pale and unhealthy. I’ll take care of you, okay baby? We’ll get you better.” He coddled, rubbing his thumb over my eyebrow. I nodded, pulling him down by his shirt to kiss me. “I love you, Yoo. You’re the best.” I smiled kissing Kihyun. “I love you too, baby girl. So, how about some Kimchi?” I giggled at my silly boyfriend, knowing nothing could hold us apart for very long.