Chapter Text
Namjoon wakes up on a very cold Thursday morning in December and immediately is reminded of what day it is. Because although his life post-disbandment is still quite exciting, today brings a whole other form of excitement. In his life Namjoon has stood on many stages, rapped and sung, acted and done many exhilarating and, at times, terrifying things, but not one compares to today. A noise from the kitchen signals that Yoongi is up, his best friend having stayed over last night to serve as some sort of mental anchor for Namjoon to hold onto, should he have trouble sleeping or getting out the door.
Waking up today, is opposed to the usual hell of a heavy body and dry eyes, surprisingly easy. His mind is alert the second he’s gained consciousness, body jittery and heart beating, pumping blood around his body fast enough for the warm bed to almost feel uncomfortable. He needs to get out of bed, needs a cup of tea to calm down, needs to take a shower and go to the salon, needs to get ready. For the press conference. For the photos he knows will soon plaster every front page of every tabloid, not only in Korea, but in many parts of the world.
“You up or what?”, Yoongi yells from the kitchen, the sound of a boiling kettle almost louder than his voice. Namjoon groans in return even if he knows the older won’t hear it, and finally sits up. He’s only clad in boxers, and so he reaches for his cosiest bathrobe which lays to his side and stands to wrap his body in it, ultimately leaving his room. The other is pouring water into a cup as Namjoon emerges. Yoongi is already dressed in a pair of slacks with an oversized hoodie almost drowning his lithe frame. Even after all these years, he never managed to put on much weight and Namjoon knows just how hard he’d tried after stepping out of the spotlight for good.
Yoongi had immediately expressed his wish to stay with BigHit as a producer, the minute they had all decided to part ways, to which Bang had been more than delighted. Namjoon had gone and done his own thing for a while, only to follow Yoongi’s path in the end. They each take turns, or collaborate on, producing music for Jungkook who still treasures the industry too much to let go just yet. Their youngest having now been solo for three years marks almost four years since the disbandment and Namjoon has just turned thirty.
Setting a cup of steaming hot tea in front of Namjoon, Yoongi sits himself oppositely at the kitchen island, looking at him as if trying to read his mind. Namjoon smiles a little, the best he can manage through the growing nerves in his body, and Yoongi chuckles: “you always were a good speaker, just chill. You know the reaction’s gonna be crazy anyways, so..”, he trails off and though his words don’t sound too comforting, they really are. He clears his throat and takes a sip of the tea. It almost burns his tongue.
Facing defamation in the media almost through his whole career as an idol, Namjoon is used to shitty journalism, knows how to just ignore it and go on with his life. He likes to think that he’ll do the same this time, but arriving at the venue where the conference will take place, he’s a sweaty and shaky mess. The cameras are flashing, his makeup feeling like it’s melting right off his skin and all he can do is smile, straighten his back and take deep breaths. What he tells himself is this: I’m thirty and I won’t lie till I’m sixty.
“Kim Namjoon, my name is Choi Yewon from Dispatch, it’s nice to see you”, Namjoon greets her back, mumbling into his microphone as the reporter continues, the camera lights flashing because this is the first question of the afternoon, “I must say, Korea may burst with these news, I’m sure many people feel many different types of emotions upon hearing this just now; my question to you is one I think we are all curious about: why are you choosing to do this now?”, she finishes and for a second Namjoon’s mind goes completely blank. What is he doing again?
“I..”, he hesitates, the words hard to say, always have been, “I wish to openly come out and show the world that I, a successful musician and producer, am a proud member of the LGBT community as a, now, openly homosexual man of today’s Korean society”, the lights flash so rapidly that Namjoon almost can’t see, “although I have gone thirty years of my life so far having hidden this part of myself, I am a strong believer that every man and woman deserves the freedom to love whoever they want. I regret not having stepped forward sooner, but I am now ready to become the exact role model for the youth that I have always wished to be”, voice growing steadier for every word, Namjoon feels the adrenaline rush in his blood. Taking on the world suddenly does not feel like such a hard feat anymore.
The next reporter is chosen for question, “My name is Jung Siwon from The Korea Times, it is nice to meet you”, Namjoon nods in acknowledgement as he greets him back with a ‘likewise’, “BTS faced a lot of backlash in the lights of the Park Jimin scandal, which is believed to have ultimately led to your disbandment. What are your thoughts on the matter, and did this influence your decision to come out now, four whole years later?”, Namjoon finishes writing down notes for the question and looks up from the table. He clears his throat.
“What was done to Park Jimin was something which I have always viewed as an action of nothing but pure hatred towards a man who they knew could do nothing for himself in that situation. Park Jimin’s private life was exposed against his own wishes and harmed him greatly. Ultimately our disbandment was agreed upon by all members out of love and support for not only Park Jimin, but all of us mutually. My decision today is purely one I have taken on behalf of myself and the LGBT community in Korea.”