Work Text:
100 new messages from HISTORY BICHESSSS
MarcusBrutus: 100 new messages
MarcusBrutus: and not a single one is about history
lesbiansdoitbetter: i will have you know that i mentioned greece and TRIED to ask a homework
question but SOME PEOPLE wanted to have a different conversation
shortbutpowerful: in our defense
shortbutpowerful: you chose a hell of a time
GaymeOn: what did you expect to accomplish by sending a message at 4:19
MarcusBrutus: it's 4:30
MarcusBrutus: it has literally been 20 ten minutes
LipstickandCheer: 11, actually
MarcusBrutus: aren't you supposed to be at cheer?
LipstickandCheer: we're taking a break. im the captain. i can do that.
lesbiansdoitbetter: i thought youd be all for this convo, brutus
lesbiansdoitbetter: considering this is the only time antony and cassius will ever have a civil convo
lesbiansdoitbetter: granted it was just an exchange of weed and sex jokes
GaymeOn: we have reached solidarity
shortbutpowerful: for now
GaymeOn: WAIT its 4:40, shoudln't you be oggling caesar right about now?
shortbutpowerful: shouldnt YOu be pining over brutus right about now?
LipstickandCheer: well there went "civil"
lesbiansdoitbetter: couldn't even last twenty minutes huh?
GaymeOn: does julis' ass look good in thsoe football pants?
GaymeOn: lmao what am i talknn about, what ass?
lesbiansdoitbetter: holy shit
coffeeanddepression: fucign savage
MarcusBrutus: …
MarcusBrutus: anyway
LipstickandCheer: oops gotta go back to practice bieeeee cya later
lesbiansdoitbetter: byeeeeeeee <33
coffeeanddepression: have fun jumpin and shit
MarcusBrutus: we need to talk about that project later
GaymeOn: brutus
GaymeOn: my man
GaymeOn: buddy
GaymeOn: why is your name so fucking average
MarcusBrutus: its just my name
GaymeOn: yeah i KNOW
GaymeOn: thats why its boring
lesbiansdoitbetter: he does have a point
MarcusBrutus: okay, what would you suggest?
GaymeOn: something fun that also makes sense with your personality
lesbiansdoitbetter: oooh what about "ilikebooksmorethanpeople" ?
goldenboy: i mean, that could work in theory but
goldenboy: what do you think about "imbadathidingmynotsosecretcrushoncassius"?
coffeeanddepression: OH OH or "ihavearagingbonerforcassius" ?
shortbutpowerful: guys guys, those are too long
shortbutpowerful: I present to you "prideandprejudomecassius"
MarcusBrutus has left the conversation
GaymeOn: I am
goldenboy: if you actually say suprised ill slap you
GaymeOn: pshhh anyone would be luck y to have me
GaymeOn: im a fuciking catch
coffeeanddepression: yeah sure
shortbutpowerful: whatever you say
GaymeOn: :(( y r yu all mean to me
lesbiansdoitbetter added MarcusBrutus to the conversation
1 hour later
1 new message from HISTORY BICHESSSS
bowtoyourcptn: i do too have an ass
GaymeOn: sure you do
bowtoyourcptn: antony can attest to that fact
goldenboy: ...wait a minute
coffeeanddepression: WAIT A FUCKING SECOND
downwiththecistem: DID HE JUST
bowtoyourcptn: oops
GaymeOn: HAVE YOU AND ANTONY BEEN FUCKING
bowtoyourcptn: oops
GaymeOn: I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT???
LipstickandCheer: am I the only one not surprised by this
lesbiansdoitbetter: nah, i knew
bowtoyourcptn: how did you know?
LipstickandCheer: julius. youre not subtle.
lesbiansdoitbetter: im forced to go to the soccer games. dont think i dont see those assgrabs
goldenboy: wow
GaymeOn: holy shit
1 message from GaymeOn
GaymeOn: okay i know we dont rlly get along but
GaymeOn: holy shit i cant believe youve been hitting that and didnt tell me
GaymeOn: does our not-friendship mean nothing to you?
shortbutpowerful: lmao did he slip up? he wanted it to be secret
shortbutpowerful: cus sports and stuff
GaymeOn: yeah he told the entire history class lmao
GaymeOn: but STI LL
GaymeOn: your hiting that???
shortbutpowerful: its amazing
GaymeOn: dicc?
shortbutpowerful: you wouldnt believe me
GaymeOn: YOU LUCKY SHIT
shortbutpowerful: now you just need to man up and get with brutus
GaymeOn: he probably doesnt even like me D:
shortbutpowerful: cassius
shortbutpowerful: i dont know him that well but
shortbutpowerful: really? brutus? straight?
shortbutpowerful: and also caesar told me he likes you
GaymeOn: WAIT REALLY??
GaymeOn: LIKE
GaymeOn: LIKES ME LIKES ME?
shortbutpowerful: somehow
GaymeOn: YOURE NOT JUST SHITTING ME?
GaymeOn: also, ouch.
GaymeOn: Ouch
shortbutpowerful: i hope you know im gonna need payment for this information
GaymeOn: come over saturday
GaymeOn: casca has been saving up for a killer night
GaymeOn: its gonna be lit
GaymeOn: literally
shortbutpowerful: byob?
GaymeOn: please
GaymeOn: its like you dont even know me
GaymeOn: theres more than enough to go around
shortbutpowerful: nice ill be there
shortbutpowerful: but if you dont ask brutus out before then i s2g ill do it mysefl
GaymeOn: you wouldnt dare
Saturday Night
1 new message from HISTORY BICHESSSS
MarcusBrutus: anybody free to come study either today or tomorrow?
lesbiansdoitbetter: either works
LipstickandCheer: anytime, anyday! theres no games this weekend so
goldenboy: im down for tomorrow
bowtoyourcptn: today works better for me
goldenboy: alright fuck you too then
bowtoyourcptn: i could do tomorrow but antony is gonna be so hungover tomorrow and if hes
alone he wont do anything but mope and text me all day
TripleA: I can't do any day, unfortunately. I'm the designated driver. Plus I've finished everything.
MarcusBrutus: designated driver for who?
TripleA: casca and cimber
lesbiansdoitbetter: IS CASSIUS HAVING ANOTHER PARTY
lesbiansdoitbetter: THAT I WASNT INVITED TO
GaymeOn: ayy u cn sil com
coffeeanddepression: htress enugh ti go arond
lesbiansdoitbetter: you better save some, im omw
lesbiansdoitbetter: sorry Brutus, gotta raincheck on that studying tonight
lesbiansdoitbetter: im free tomorrow tho, i rlly need help w those history prompts
MarcusBrutus: so, studying tomorrow then?
bowtoyourcptn: works for me
LipstickandCheer: yup!
TripleA: I can try
shortbutpowerful: hye bruts
MarcusBrutus: yes?
shortbutpowerful: r yu free nrct frday?
MarcusBrutus: next friday?
MarcusBrutus: yeah, why?
shortbutpowerful: GRESY! cu im nyt
shortbutpowerful: but csas is
MarcusBrutus: did you just...ask me out...for him?
TripleA: he did.
TripleA: I've confiscated his phone but the offer still stands
MarcusBrutus: uhm
MarcusBrutus: sure? yeah?
TripleA: great. thanks. now i have to get back to making sure nobody dies tonight. goodnight!
MarcusBrutus: goodnight
LipstickandCheer: night!
1 new message from MarcusBrutus
MarcusBrutus: did that
MarcusBrutus: did that just happen
MarcusBrutus: did he really ask me out??
lesbiansdoitbetter: technically antony asked you out
MarcusBrutus: still!!
MarcusBrutus: he likes me!
lesbiansdoitbetter: was
lesbiansdoitbetter: was he not obvious enough?
lesbiansdoitbetter: why are guys so oblivious
lesbiansdoitbetter: this is why im a lesbian
MarcusBrutus: and because boobs
lesbiansdoitbetter: mhmm love me some tiddys
MarcusBrutus: hey werent you going over to cassius'?
lesbiansdoitbetter: ye im walking over rn
lesbiansdoitbetter: why?
MarcusBrutus: just wondering why you were texting back so quickly
lesbiansdoitbetter: haha yeah
lesbiansdoitbetter: anyway gtg now
MarcusBrutus: dont get too high/wasted/whatever else
lesbiansdoitbetter: you know i cant promise that
lesbiansdoitbetter: but ill try
MarcusBrutus: i guess thats all i could really expect
Monday
1 new message from HISTORY BICHESSSS
GaymeOn: Pompey is gonna kiiiiill meeeee
MarcusBrutus: you forgot there was homework again, didnt you?
GaymeOn: in my defense
GaymeOn: i rarely remember homework
MarcusBrutus: do you want to copy mine?
coffeeanddepression: are my eyes deceiving me?
coffeeanddepression: did Marcus Junius Brutus suggest copying his homework?
coffeeanddepression: "model student" Marcus Brutus did not just condone copying
coffeeanddepression: he SUGGESTED IT!
coffeeanddepression: if i knew dating him would get me a free ride on all homework i would
have hit that a while ago
coffeeanddepression: instead i had to stay up all night doing it
coffeeanddepression: do you know how much coffee ive had?
downwiththecistem: the same amount as usual?
coffeeanddepression: ...ive been called out
goldenboy: i mean
goldenboy: theyre not wrong
MarcusBrutus sent a photo
downwiththecistem: feeling #blessed cus i didnt do it either thanks brutus youre a lifesaver
coffeeanddepression: hes so fucking whipped if he can go against all his moral codes for cass
of all people
GaymeOn: HOLY SHIT THANK YOU SO MUCH I COULD KISS YOU RIGTH NOW
GaymeOn: ALSO WOW RUDE CIMBER YOU WISH YOU COULD GET AT THIS
MarcusBrutus: i mean, you can
MarcusBrutus: kiss me
MarcusBrutus: only if you want to!
MarcusBrutus: but the offer is there
GaymeOn: im gonna come kiss you so fuckig hard
coffeeanddepression: im disgusted
coffeeanddepression: here i was, enjoying a nice coffee and sandwich
coffeeanddepression: minding my own business, wondering what my friends were talkng about
coffeeanddepression: only to open my phone and find THIS
coffeeanddepression: i do not need this
coffeeanddepression: i do not want this
GaymeOn: youre just jelous
coffeeanddepression: a relationship is the opposite of what i want lmao
coffeeanddepression: antony and caesar dont do this in the fucking group chat
GaymeOn: me n brutus are cuter than them
shortbutpowerful: EXCUSE YOU?
bowtoyourcptn: lets show them, babe
LipstickandCheer: ARE WE HAVING A RELATIONSHIP-OFF?
goldenboy: this can only end in disaster
lesbiansdoitbetter: im excited
coffeeanddepression: what did i do to deserve this
lesbiansdoitbetter: after school. bleachers. be there or accept defeat.
After School
1 new message from HISTORY BICHESSSS
coffeeanddepression sent a photo
coffeeanddepression sent a photo
coffeeanddepression sent a photo
coffeeanddepression sent a photo
coffeeanddepression sent a photo
coffeeanddepression sent a photo
coffeeanddepression: that was the funniest thing ive ever seen
shortbutpowerful: I WILL NOT ACCEPT DEFEAT
GaymeOn: THE JUDGES RULED IN OUR FAVOR
GaymeOn: BRASSIUS FOREVERRRRR
coffeeanddepression: the fuck is a brassius and why is it forever
MarcusBrutus: cass says its our "ship name"
shortbutpowerful: babe why dont we have a ship name
shortbutpowerful: i want a ship name :((
bowtoyourcptn: our names dont mesh well
downwiththecistem: i, for one, love the sound of jarcus
goldenboy: jarc for short?
downwiththecistem: absolutely
LipstickandCheer: what about canter? or cantony?
LipstickandCheer: the c sounds like an s
downwiththecistem: i like the way you think
shortbutpowerful: i hate all of you
GaymeOn: SEE? ME AND BRUTUS ARE CLEARLY THE BETTER COUPLE
GaymeOn: EVEN OUR SHIP NAME IS FAR SUPERIOR
shortbutpowerful: YOU MAY HAVE WON THIS ROUND BUT THIS ISNT OVER
shortbutpowerful: ME AND CAESAR WILL COME OUT SUPERIOR IN THE END
1 new message from bowtoyourcptn
bowtoyourcptn: our bfs sure are something huh?
MarcusBrutus: yeah, somethings the right word
bowtoyourcptn: i hope you know im not part of this feud
MarcusBrutus: me neither
MarcusBrutus: still friends?
bowtoyourcptn: absolutely
MarcusBrutus: but if cassius asks
MarcusBrutus: we never talked and i will destroy you in this relationship-off
bowtoyourcptn: same
bowtoyourcptn: so we have a deal then?
MarcusBrutus: mhmm
Sometime Later (like a day or so)
1 new message from Brooty
Brooty: cassius
GaymeOn: yes love?
Brooty: did you change my username
GaymeOn: it was soooo boooring
Brooty: it was my name
GaymeOn: EXACTLY!
Brooty: okay, but why “brooty?”
GaymeOn: its a play on yur name
GaymeOn:get it?
GaymeOn: cus yuve been rlly broody lately
GaymeOn: and also cus that ass is thicc
GaymeOn: i bet its not the only part thats thicc AMIRIGHT
you can no longer message this user
GaymeOn: babe
GaymeOn: babe why
1 new message from HISTORY BICHESSSS
GaymeOn: BABE NO
TripleA: oh no
Coffeeanddepression: what did you do now?
Brooty sent a photo
GaymeOn: YORE EXPOSING ME
TripleA: cass. buddy.
goldenboy: why. just
goldenboy: why
downwiththecistem: CASSIUS
downwiththecistem: IM CRYUGN
TripleA: dont encourage this
GaymeOn: CASCA IS THE ONLY ONE WHO APPRECIATES ME
goldenboy sent a video
TripleA: NO
Brooty: et tu, cinna?
GaymeOn: I havent even clicked the video but i bet its goes "marcus brutus is one thicc bih lemme see that brussy"
GaymeOn: IT FUCKIGN
GaymeOn: CINNA I LOVE YOU
Brooty has left the conversation
bowtoyourcptn added Brooty to the conversation
bowtoyourcptn: if i have to stay here so do you
coffeeanddepression: you can never leave
lesbiansdoitbetter: youre stuck with us
GaymeOn: FOREVER
downwiththecistem: FOREVER
shortbutpowerful: FOREVER
shortbutpowerful: dammit
downwiththecistem: i cant believe we all went for it
LipstickandCheer: i can. i had no faith in us.
shortbutpowerful: WOW
1 new message from GaymeOn
GaymeOn: you know it was a joke, right?
GaymeOn: i can...not do that anymore
GaymeOn: or well i can try
GaymeOn: if it makes you uncomfortable
Brooty: just caught me off guard
GaymeOn: you can change your name back if you want
Brooty: nah, ive become kind of attached to this one
GaymeOn: okay good cus it took me longer than i want to admit coming up w it
Brooty: god i love you
Brooty: wait shit was that too soon?
GaymeOn: i love me too
Brooty: i take back what i just said
GaymeOn: (i love you too you dork)