Chapter Text
"If you are a monster,
how come you carry stardust in the palm of your hands?
How come the stars kiss your skin,
like you are made of something holy?
You are the stuff of dreams, darling.
Only Heavens hold beings like you"
Liam couldn’t remember a time before the voice. His voice. His mate’s voice. His parents had always told him stories of Soulmates, two people who had been promised to each other the very moment they were brought into this world. But Liam’s favorite stories were the ones of funny and embarrassing situations mates put each other in.
Because Soulmates could hear each other. But, because of some joke, with a punchline that always missed Liam, Soulmates could only hear each other whenever they cursed. Cursing wasn’t Liam’s thing, but it surely was his mate’s.
Liam knew his mate was a he simply because Liam swung that way. It’s how it works, his mother had explained to him, back when Liam went through the phase of questioning everything.
“When you figure that out, you’ll know at least this one thing about your mate. The rest is up to fate”
Liam was seriously sorry for all the bissexuals out there in the world.
Liam couldn’t remember the first time he heard his mate, but he knew for a fact that it had happened pretty early on in his life. Which wasn’t rare, so to speak. It only meant his mate was older than him. There was no way for Liam to know exactly how much older his mate was, he only hoped he wouldn’t end up with some creepy forty year old.
His mother had told him it happened on Thanksgiving. They were in the kitchen, Liam and his parents, probably busy with cooking and baking, with soft Christmas music playing in the back. His mother said he was coloring, sitting next to his dad on the counter. And then the word slipped out, just like that. It hadn’t been his first word, cause that would’ve been just straight up awkward. Liam hadn’t been that young, but still.
“Oh, shit!”
His mother, who had been getting the pumpkin ready for the pie, froze in terror, almost causing an accident by dropping the knife she had been holding. His father had nearly fallen off his seat from laughing, that he did remember.
And that’s when all the conversations started, about Soulmates, about the existence of someone, somewhere out there, who was perfect, made just for him. In all honesty, later in life, after Liam had been able to truly grasp what all that really meant, having a mate, he had felt extremely relieved. To know it was one less thing for him to worry about.
Still, it was one of the most frustrating things Liam had ever experienced. Because, after all these years, after all the ‘shits’, ‘fucks’ and ‘motherfuckers’, he wasn’t any closer to figuring out who his mate was, or at least find out more about him.
Most days Liam could tolerate this feeling inside his chest. Having a mate didn’t mean he’d be loved and accepted by whoever was waiting for him on the other end of this connection. There was someone, someone who would decide their possible future together with a single glance, a single word. And that horrified Liam.
That all of this would just be for nothing.
That all the times he giggled in class, all the times he ignored how people stared annoyed at him would be frowned upon by someone who didn’t even know his name, but was supposed to be his partner in crime for all eternity. Liam did just about everything in his power to meet his mate, he joined as many clubs as he could, attended parties, introduced himself to pretty much anyone he crossed paths with.
But he was 22 and a Junior in college and still in the dark. All of it bugged him, for years, how his mate didn’t seem to be going out of his way to meet him, not even a fraction of the effort Liam put into it all. Until it just didn’t bug him anymore.
He no longer longed for the day he’d get to hear bells chiming and butterflies flying around in his stomach and all that crap. Instead, after his father passed away and he witnessed what losing her mate had done to his mother… Let’s just say Liam just wasn’t looking forward to having someone whose death could tear him apart like that.
But Theo? Theo was not what Liam had expected.
Liam had gone out to a house party with his Lacrosse teammates and, somehow, being the captain hadn’t gotten him out of being chosen to buy more booze. So, there he was. At 2:30 a.m., walking into a convenience store, hands in the pockets of his UCLA, Lacrosse Team Captain jacket, trying to keep warm.
The store was pretty much empty, except for a couple of people, and finding the bottles hadn’t been hard, his feet taking him to the back of the store almost on instinct.
And his blood ran cold when someone bumped into him, while he had been searching through his phone for the list of things his friends had asked for, almost dropping the device on the ground as he stumbled a bit to the side, hearing the sound of plastic bags and a gasp.
“Oh, fuck, dude, I’m sorry. I totally didn’t see you there”
Liam’s brain ached at the curse, his ears confused at the sudden echo effect. There were two voices and there were lips moving, right in front of him. Liam stood there, watching the light brown haired man bend to pick the stuff he had dropped up from the ground.
And if Liam had to guess what his face looked like in that very moment, he’d say it was something akin to pure terror. The guy, with his blue eyes and easy smile, stood back to his full height, offering Liam another apology, one his brain didn’t catch, since he was still baffled and mesmerized by the sight in front of him.
“Uh… everything okay there? I’m sorry, I was distracted”
The guys fumbled with the Doritos and Sneaker’s bars he had in hands, clearing his throat, shuffling his weight from one leg to the other. Then the sweetest, most unbelievable thing happened, right there in that convenience store at 3 in the morning.
The very handsome man in front of him dropped his things by the nearest shelf, his hands up in the air in front of Liam, his fingers moving in weird, weird ways Liam couldn't…
Sign language!
Wait… hold on a second!
Liam’s eyes followed the guy’s quick, agile hands. Sign language. Okay. First semester, Liam had studied a bit of it, his brain hurting at the sudden use. Liam had met a lot of interesting people on campus, including Lila, a Psychology undergrad who happened to be deaf. She could talk, reading other people’s lips to communicate. And she had taught him a bit of sign language, but Liam hadn’t been that great of a student.
Sorry I hit you? Is that what he’s saying? Well, he probably means bumped into you.
It was the guy’s worried look that told Liam he really needed to get over his starstruck momentum and start explaining himself. But, before he could do just that, Liam remembered his mother. His mother telling him all about deaf Soulmates. It didn’t mean they were really deaf, but deaf in the sense they couldn’t hear their Soulmates.
If the guy, who clearly wasn’t deaf, was using sign language, then that meant someone around him definitely was. And that alone explained why it still hadn’t clicked for Mr. Hot Pants over here.
“Ah, no, no… I’m… I’m not deaf, I’m your… God, I have no idea how to even say this, but uh… I’m just gonna say it, I guess… I’m, I’m your Soulmate”
The guy in front of him let out a huffed laugh, covering his mouth a second after, the movement 5 times faster than a human could blink. He cleared his throat once again, his blue eyes untrusting and nervous on Liam’s.
“My uh… my what?”
“Your Soulmate. I’m sorry, this isn’t going so well. Hi, my name’s Liam, I’m a Junior at UCLA, I’m captain of our Lacrosse team, me and my friends were celebrating that we just won the championship and uh… I don’t drink so here I am, on a liquor run for them. I didn’t mean to drop the bomb, I’m… just as surprised as you are, but I would never lie about this, I would never joke about this, never. You have my word, I swear on my father’s grave”
But no. All that hadn’t been enough. The guy licked his lips, biting his bottom one for a few seconds before lifting his head, eyes avoiding Liam's at all costs.
“Look, you seem nice and all, but I don’t have a Soulmate, you must have me confused with someone else”
And, just like that, the guy took the first step that would lead him out of the store and out of Liam’s life forever. He didn’t even have a name, nothing. This was his only chance with his mate, Liam couldn't be more sure that the man he now got to admire from behind was his.
“No… look, I’m 100% sure it’s you. When you ran into me and cursed, I… I heard you. I heard you here, talking and I heard you inside my head, with my mate’s voice. I heard my mate’s voice, it was like you were screaming into a microphone, echoed”
“But I never heard anyone, so…”
Liam knew he was pushing, but there was no way in hell he’d let this man disappear from his life. Not now, especially not now that he had seen him. Liam would be damned if he got this close to his mate and let him slip away. Not after everything.
“You know sign language... I’m sorry, I don’t mean to disrespect you or your family in any way, but… I’m guessing someone close to you is deaf, from birth”
Liam stopped breathing when the man turned to look at him, his eyes unreadable. There was nothing there to help Liam understand what he had been thinking, the bluest pools he had ever seen seeming frozen in shock as he took his time to process the words that had just flooded out of Liam’s mouth.
But, despite the long while that it took for Theo to talk, something in the way this… this guy spoke, in the way he looked at Theo with such passion and desperation made him cave and reveal this one huge thing about himself, about his life.
If that wasn’t confirmation enough that this man was telling the truth, the effect he had on Theo proof of their connection, then nothing else would help him make his mind up about learning he indeed had a mate.
“Tara… my sister”
“My mother once told me about Soulmates with deaf relatives, how the gene that runs in the family can make you deaf to your Soulmate, even if it doesn’t to the outside world. I’m sorry, I really don’t mean to pry or offend your sister, it’s just that… You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this, for… for you”
“For me?” Theo felt a smile, a stupidly cynical smile take over his face, watching as the laughter that escaped him almost physically hurt the man in front of him, the fact that having a mate was so nerve wracking to Theo seemed to open wounds on his skin “I have nothing, okay? Nothing. You seem nice, respectful and all that jazz, but… there’s gotta be a reason I don’t have a mate…”
“But you do. I’m here. You just never heard me, that's all. And, honestly, now that I am here, I’m not going anywhere, not unless you tell me that’s what you want. Then I’ll go, I won’t… look for you, I won’t try to contact you in any way, you won’t even see me around here”
Yes. Yes. Theo knew the guy was telling the truth. One word and Theo would never see him again. And, for some reason, that thought mortified Theo. He had lived 26 years without a mate, had been whispered about and teased through high school and college. For years, all he did was come back home to an empty apartment, an empty life.
But there his mate was. Right in front of Theo, telling him all the words he had ever wanted to hear, the words that would’ve made the whole world go silent around him. There were the hands that would hold him, the lips that would kiss his, the body that would make love to his, the voice that would laugh at his jokes, the smile he’d fall to his knees for, the arms that would hold him at night. There was the heart that would love his.
“No!” Theo saw his own hand reach for the guy’s arm, hissing the word as he squeezed the… what was it? Lacrosse jacket. Theo licked his lips, his mouth dry and a lump in his throat, eyes on the ground. Man, he wanted to be stronger than this, he wanted to look into those blue eyes and tell that man to never let him go, but he didn’t. He was scared, down to his very core, of what loving this man would do to him “Dont…”
“Then have coffee with me. Or tea, water, beer, bourbon, scotch, whatever you want. It’s all I’m asking for, a chance to make up for all the time that we already lost, to get to know each other. I waited 20 years for you, I was only 2 when I first heard your voice, and, being blunt here, I’ll take whatever time I could possibly get with you”
Oh, fuck, no. There were tears in his mate’s eyes and Liam feared instantly that he had said something wrong. Well, it just wouldn’t have been the first time. Words had never been Liam’s forté and he refused to let that be the thing that would drive his mate away.
And Liam couldn’t stop himself from taking the step forward that he took, his hand coming up to hold his mate’s cheek, his thumb softly caressing the tear that rolled down his perfect skin once he looked up again.
“What… what is it?”
“You… just have a way with words, it’s all” Theo chuckled, looking down and biting his lip. Theo sighed, doing his absolute best not to lean into Liam’s warm, large hand. There was something ridiculously intoxicating about his mate’s rich, sweet and overwhelmingly delicious cologne.
“Then say yes to coffee with me, please” Liam forgot about everything around them, now that he had his hands on his mate, holding both sides of the man’s neck, caressing his porcelain skin. Liam would never let him go “Can I know your name?”
Theo laughed at the request. Like, duh. They had skipped that part, right off the bat. Theo allowed his hands to wipe his stupid tears away, ignoring how runny his nose was as he looked up to his mate.
“Theo… Theo Raeken”
“Hi, Theo… I’m Liam” Liam whispered, as he slowly rested his forehead to Theo’s, testing, careful and calm, the two of them sighing at the contact. Theo’s hands fisted the fabric of the t-shirt Liam wore under his jacket, his fingers cold, despite the layer separating their skins. Theo closed his eyes, stepping closer, until their chests were touching, arms almost completely around Liam’ shoulders.
“Hi” Theo smiled, moving away a little after blinking to get the few remaining tears out of his eyes “I’ll… I’ll have coffee with you, but I… I gotta run. I promised my sister I wouldn’t be long, she’s waiting for me at home”
“Yeah, of course”
Theo was surprisingly thankful for the hand Liam kept on the small of his back. If Liam really was the possessive type, there was no way for Theo to know just yet, but he understood what his mate was feeling, the need for contact. The need to make sure this was real, that they had truly found each other. They bought whatever it was they had gone to the store to get in the first place, standing obviously too close to each other as they waited for the slow cashier to hand them their change and bags.
Since it was late, they exchanged phone numbers while still inside the store. They did so with silly smiles on their faces, Theo’s forehead resting against Liam’s chest, the Lacrosse team captain’s arm around his waist as he typed his number and saved it on his mate’s phone.
Theo smiled at Liam insisting on accompanying him all the way to his doorstep, though it really wasn’t that far, only a block and a half away. And, fuck, Liam held the door open for Theo. Theo looked down, smiling at the butterflies. God, butterflies. How long had it been since Theo had last felt something like this?
“Oh, so, you’re the chivalrous type, huh?” Theo turned around, the cold 3 in the morning air engulfing them both in what seemed to be an invisible yet freezing windstorm.
They crossed the street, Liam’s hand reaching for Theo’s before he could stop himself or even think about what he was doing. And Liam smiled at the soft, shy smile that he saw on Theo’s face, how their hands fit together so perfectly, the two of them synchronizing their steps into the perfect pace as they made their way to Theo’s apartment building.
“Yeah… I guess so” Liam’s free hand flew to the back of his neck, forgetting about the bottles completely, something Theo found immediately endearing “Can’t let it die, can I?”
Liam would never know Theo’ sadness matched his own as they approached the building much too fast, for both their likings. But it wasn’t a good-bye. It was just the beginning.
“Well, if you don’t hold the door open for me on our date you won’t get a second one” Theo whispered, his hand reaching for his keychain as they stopped, turning to look at each other. And Theo could’ve sworn there no longer was ground beneath his feet when he saw the large, Colgate smile Liam had on his gorgeous face at his words.
“Deal” Liam whispered, leaning in. His hand let go of Theo’s, but only so he could hold the back of Theo’s neck, holding him right where he wanted him, his soft lips leaving a long, sweet kiss to his mate’s forehead. Theo’s hand held on to his jacket, sighing happily at the new, yet familiar contact “Call you tomorrow?” Liam whispered, lips brushing skin before slowly pulling away, their hands holding on to each other for as long as they could as Liam started walking away, one step at a time, blue eyes locked as they smiled like two fools… like two fools already falling in love.
“Deal…” Theo whispered, biting his bottom lip through a smile.