Chapter Text
It's a nice summer afternoon and the sun is shining high in the sky. Romano let yet another tomato fall gently into his basket before weeping his forehead damp with sweat.
His arms are sore from picking the fruits (or are they vegetables? Who the fuck even cares??) He has been at it for a good hour and is already close to giving up.
An internal voice reminds him that spain can spend half a day working without ever stopping to catch his breath or to complain.
Romano feels weak, the sensation is too familiar to bother him very much, since he tends to feel that way every time he compares himself to anyone else.
He lowers back his head and sighs deeply. 'The sun is so bright today' he thinks. For some reason it reminds him of the time he was taken by the ottoman empire.
He guesses it was a clear day like this one.
He remembers gazing at the sky for the anoying bird he yelled at, he remembers the sudden feeling of loneliness, and the tall shadow of a man in red and white clothes, the mysterious smile on his face.
He remembers fear.
How his thoughts seemed to run at incredible speed as soon as he touched the wooden floor of the foreign carriage he was thrown in.
He felt helpless, a feeling that hasn't left him ever since.
He remembers the loud bang of the bull on the carriage, the sound echoing in his mind as if it just happened.
Spain came back for him, his spain, who had looked like a joke next to the huge ottoman empire. He stood proudly and managed to bring him back safely, romano will never admit how grateful he felt at that moment.
When he was younger, he heard spain asking austria to swap italies. Why he saved him from the ottoman empire was beyond him. He had seen spain coming back late at night, bloody and wounded. He tried his best to clean up every wounds and gashes on his body. Spain waved him off, pretending he felt fine, he smiled at him. It didn't mean anything coming from spain, he smiled all the time. After all the mess he caused, spain went through all this trouble to keep him. Why? Why would he possibly do that?
The tears threatening to leave his eyes are what brings him back to the present.
Fuck, he has wandered off pretty far.
The sun must be getting to him.
His throat is so dry he would kill for some-
"Water?"
Romano jumps before he recognize spain's voice.
"Fuck! You scared the shit out of me!"
Spain laughs, bastard, fists resting on his hips and green eyes glittering in the sunlight. Spain hands Romano a bottle of cool water and he takes it without thanking the other. He looks down at the basket next the teen-looking italian.
"Well what have we here! Cautiously harvested tomatoes!" He bends down and pick one, inspetcing it with a pleased expression on his face.
"Good job, Lovi!"
"Stop being condescending." Romano saiys, annoyed.
"I'm not ! I'm proud of you!" Spain announces with a genuine kindness in his voice. Why does he always have to sound like that?? Why the fuck is he always so nice to him ??
Romano frowns, all the frustration he's been keeping bottled up for so long suddenly comes rushing to the surface and wHY THE HELL DID SPAIN KEEP HIM??
"What do you mean?"
"What?!"
"What do you mean by why did I keep you?" Spain asked again, confused. "Keep you from what?"
Oh shit, did he think out loud?? It feels like he can't keep up with his train of thought. It takes him some time to realise he is the one speaking again.
"No- just .. keep me. When you found out how useless I am, why didn't you send me back? Or left me with the ottoman empire? Why did you keep me when you were already broke and didn't have the money to take care of yet another country ?"
Spain looks incredulous. His gaze is lost in romano's brown pupils as he wheezes softly. "As crazy as it might sound, I learned to care about you." He put his hands in the pockets of his trousers and shifts his weight." I'm your boss and I love you."
" pff perv."
"What? No, you misunderstand. It's not like that. Lovi. " He puts a hand on the italian's shoulder, bending down to try and catch his gaze."I love you for who you are."
"No you don't."
"But I do too."
"No, you bastard." Romano kicks a rock on the ground. "You only keep me 'cause I'm related to grandpa. You don't love me. You can't. ... No one does."
"... Lovi..... Why would you say that?" His voice is almost a whisper.
"Oh come on. Don't play dumb with me. You know it's true. I'm garbage, I can't do anything right and I'm fine with it, I don't need you, I don't need anyone."
"Stop that." Spain's tone is so firm that romano's head shoots back up.
"Stop saying those things about yourself! You're not Bad at everything you do! Look! " He turns romano's attention toward the basket full of tomatos by putting both hands on his shoulders and stepping behind him.
" You did a good job in the field today! I, for one, do care about you. And I'll say it again tomorrow and every day after that until it grows on you, if I have to." He carefully puts his arms around the smaller figure.
"I know you don't like it when I touch you, but hugging you is the only way I know how to let you know how I love you. Sorry for that. I'll stop now-"
"No." Lovi says, gripping spain's arm.
"Don't go."