Chapter Text
When Keith woke up with lanky limbs wrapped around him he sighed, scooting himself in closer to get away from the cold outside of the sheets as he pressed his face into his boyfriend’s chest. He tried to go back to sleep without any success, and after thirty minutes of enjoying the warmth with his eyes closed his alarm went off. Lance whined next to him, clinging tighter as he was roused from sleep, but Keith still squirmed from his mess of limbs and slid out from under the covers.
He washed his face, watching Lance in the reflection of the mirror when he wandered in half asleep to turn the shower on. After brushing his teeth, Keith left the bathroom to wander into the living room and make himself a bowl of cereal. He poured milk first, and then the cereal, and ate in silence until Lance came downstairs with his hair wet, music blasting from the speaker of his phone as he rummaged through the refrigerator.
“Do you want actual breakfast, Keith?” He asked, pulling out a carton of eggs. Keith grunted and shook his head, staring down into his bowl of cereal. Lance bristled, but said nothing, beginning to make himself breakfast as Keith rinsed his bowl and placed it in the dishwasher. Keith rifled through the various papers on the table - bills, sheet music, newspapers, concert programs - until he found the paper he’d printed out two days previous and went to shove it into his backpack. “No waiting for me today?”
Keith didn’t bother to look back at Lance, just hummed and shook his head.
Lance was silent for a moment. “Okay. See you later.”
Keith threw his backpack over his shoulder and exited.
He took the underground to school, head down and headphones in as he waited until he got to his stop.
His first destination was to get coffee; he got a large black coffee and then wandered into his first class, trying not to fall asleep as he sat in the front row and listened to his professor’s lecturing. The rest of the day went on similarly, with Keith getting more and more coffee into his system and trying not to fall asleep desperately.
His phone rang multiple times when he blatantly ignored Lance’s texts, but that still didn’t make him answer them. He knew he should.
He didn’t have the mental capacity to.
Once his last class was over he got on the subway again, to go to his next destination.
Dinner with Shiro was uneventful. Shiro’s job was pretty boring and repetitive; he’d stated that he hadn’t had much time to go and do anything fun recently. Keith hadn’t either, and so every time Shiro would attempt to pry he would shrug and say any combination of “just school” or “I have an exam soon” or “good”.
Lance kept calling Keith, probably because Keith hadn’t answered him all day, but Lance knew he was having dinner with Shiro today so when he called for the third time Keith silenced it and turned it over.
“If you’re busy we could have rain checked…” Shiro offered. Keith wasn’t entirely sure if a rain check would’ve even mattered.
“No, it’s okay. I needed to get away from everything for a bit.”
It ended without fanfare. Keith almost asked if he could spend the night with Shiro, because he knew Lance was going to kick his ass when he got back to their apartment but decided against it. That would entail him explaining that things were wrong (which they weren’t, Keith was just on the verge of an unwarranted mental breakdown) and he didn’t want to get into it.
Lance was never off work by the time Keith came home, and Keith reveled in the silence while he had it, climbing into the shower and standing there for way longer than necessary.
He tried to focus on getting some homework done, but after quite literally staring at a blank screen for an hour he gave up and put his laptop away, curling up with his phone under the covers and scrolling through his phone. He could hear Lance come through the front door, and he locked his phone and put it on the nightstand so he could pretend to be asleep.
He could hear Lance sigh as he stepped into their bedroom, could hear him rustling around for about ten minutes, and then heard him exit. It took him another hour to fall asleep.
He woke up to the sound of Lance in the shower, the music on his phone playing songs in Spanish that Keith only understood a few words of until the English bridge came. Keith rolled out of bed and rubbed his eyes as he rummaged through the drawers for a pair of pants and a t-shirt, pulling his coat over his shoulders and shuffling to the front door. He wiggled his feet into his boots and grabbed his backpack, and then he was out the door.
He made his way to the subway, tapping his foot impatiently as he waited for his train, glancing back at the staircase down in anxiety as he shifted in his boots. For a moment he thought he’d gotten away with it, as the train pulled up and doors slid open, but then Lance came bolting down the stairs and followed him into the same car. Keith tried to get away, squeezing between people desperately in an attempt to avoid confrontation, but Lance trailed after him until he was cornered.
“I really don’t want to have this conversation here but if we don’t you’re going to keep avoiding me.” Lance was trying to be discreet by talking into Keith’s ear but it just made Keith feel more pressured and made him feel worse.
“I won’t-” His voice broke and he turned his face away, squeezing his eyes shut and not continuing because he knew it was a lie. Even if he didn’t physically avoid Lance he’d still avoid the conversation.
“We talked about this.” Keith wondered if it would be easier if Lance sounded mad - he just sounded hurt. “I get it if you need breathing room. I get it, but tell me when you do so I don’t freak out. There doesn’t need to be any words even, you just send the emoji, remember?” He gripped Keith’s wrist and Keith flinched back out of reflex, swatting Lance’s hand away.
“I know the rules, Lance.”
“Then fucking follow them!” Lance shouted, and then squeezed his eyes shut, pressing his hands to his temples. Keith stared at him in silence, grasping tight to his apathy in defense. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled at you.” Lance moved his hands from his temples to his eyes.
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. I know you have a rough go of it sometimes. Can we just… please try to communicate better?” Lance sniffled. Keith sighed and rubbed Lance’s shoulders, trying to comfort him even though he knew the problem wasn’t communicating better, it was himself communicating in general.
“Yeah. I’m sorry… for yesterday.” He was , somewhere under the walls he’d put up to keep himself from crying in public. Lance didn’t seem to have an issue with the people staring at them in concern and confusion.
“It’s okay. I just got scared.” Lance breathed as Keith pulled his hands away from his eyes, not flinching this time when Lance took his wrists in his hands. Lance’s eyes were red and puffy, tears making his deep blue eyes swim. Keith almost cried, but he didn’t.
When he got to school he still didn’t feel great. Lance kissed him on a cheek and then they parted so Lance could transfer lines, and Keith made his way up to the streets so that he could get his coffee before class. His phone buzzed when he sat down in his typical seat in front; a heart emoji from Lance.
Keith replied this time.
Class continued the same; with Keith trying and failing not to fall asleep. He should have been paying attention, considering he was trying to get into the nursing program, but honestly, he couldn’t be assed. He was physically and emotionally exhausted.
Lance got off work early that day, so when he hopped onto the subway home Lance was already waiting for him. Keith sat down beside him, resting his head on Lance’s bony shoulder and shutting his eyes. Lance rubbed his thigh in an attempt to comfort him, burying his face into Keith’s hair.
When they got home Keith hopped in the shower, spending way too much time standing under the spray. By the time he got out the Chinese takeout they always got on their mutual days off was already there, and Keith plopped onto the couch next to Lance and accepted the box of beef and broccoli he was offered, digging in with his chopsticks.
They were just watching Bob’s Burgers but somewhere in the middle Keith found himself crying into his fried rice anyways for seemingly no reason. Lance let out a perplexed laugh and took the box from him when his hiccups made him almost drop his food, and gathered Keith into his lap.
It really only made Keith cry harder, but it made it easier to fall asleep afterward.
When Keith woke up the next morning he was burrowed under the covers and tucked against Lance’s chest. He moved to get out, but Lance’s limbs were wrapped around him like an octopus and he didn’t let go. He tried to pry Lance’s arms from around him but Lance only tightened his grip, burying his face into Keith’s neck and pressing light kisses to his exposed shoulder. Keith thought about giving in to it, but then his alarm went off. Lance whined and reached after him as Keith finally got out of bed to go to the bathroom.
He washed his face and brushed his teeth, glancing back at Lance when he moved into the bathroom to turn the shower on. He wandered into the kitchen, pouring milk into his bowl first and then pouring in cereal.
Lance wandered in and made himself cereal as well, propping his feet on Keith’s lap. Once both of their bowls were in the sink Keith slipped into his shoes, waiting for Lance to grab his violin case and backpack.
“Ready?”
Keith nodded, letting Lance take his hand as they both stepped out the door. They made their way to the underground and got onto the subway. Lance talked animatedly, clinging to Keith’s arm as Keith clung to the free pole of the car. Once it was Keith’s stop they parted, Lance clinging to Keith’s hand stubbornly until Keith snapped in embarrassment, grumping that he had to get coffee before class. Lance pouted but let Keith wiggle his hand free, waving over his shoulder as he went to transfer lines.
Keith ordered his coffee and then wandered into class, only feeling slightly more awake than usual. He did fall asleep in his last class, but thankfully the girl next to him woke him up when the class was over.
On his way home he stopped by Lance’s job at the cafe, waving hello to Pidge before going up to the counter. Lance immediately slid up to the register, cheeks flushed as he greeted Keith. Keith smiled and ordered a black coffee. Lance grabbed a to-go cup and poured it, handing it to him without ringing him up.
Keith narrowed his eyes at him but Lance just smiled back and said he’d see Keith at home.
When Keith got home he climbed in the shower, stayed under the spray for way longer than necessary, and then started on his homework. He fell asleep in the middle of writing an essay, only stirring when he felt the warmth of his computer leave his lap.
“Get under the covers.” Lance brushed his bangs aside and kissed his forehead. Keith looked up at Lance with sleep-blurred eyes, squirming to get the blanket from under him and letting his eyes slip closed as Lance tucked him in. “Love you,” Lance whispered.
Keith fell asleep before he could respond.