Chapter Text
When the phone call from Anna came, and she asked the question, Isak wasn’t prepared at all. He didn’t know what to say – because honestly he didn’t get the question – so he didn’t say anything. It felt like a billion seconds of silent before she asked again.
“Isak, are you still there?”
“Yes,” he whispered. “I’m still here. Just wasn’t prepared for neither your call or the question. You calling kind of sent me a couple of years back, and I somehow got in fear and flight mode. Sorry!”
“Sorry, Isak. This has nothing to do with Lucas.”
“I understand that now, it’s just my head you know. I’m used to receive your messages through Even.”
“Understandably, but I couldn’t reach him on the phone, and this is kind of urgent.”
“Oh – could you please repeat your question? I don’t think I got it all.” Isak smiled to himself. He wasn’t prepared for the call from Anna. They’d agreed that all calls from her or the child services regarding Lucas should go through Even, because Isak couldn’t do it since the autumn when they almost lost Lucas. And when he saw Annas number on his display, he kind of freaked out. But it didn’t concern Lucas now.
“We have this little girl in desperate need for a fosterhome. She’s only two weeks old, and her mother has left her to the services, knowing she’s not capable of taking care of her. The mother is a drug addict, and she don’t want the little girl. And we thought of you, because we’ve talked about it earlier, that maybe you would like a sibling to Lucas.”
Isak didn’t know what to answer. He didn’t know what to think. A little girl? A baby? Tiny little baby girl.
“I’ll have to get back to you Anna. I have to talk to Even.”
“Of course you have to. But I’m afraid I can’t give you much time. The girl is in temporary fostercare now, and there are a lot of people who’d like an infant. May I suggest a meeting Friday at 10?”
Friday, Isak thought. The day after tomorrow. They could probably do that.
“Yeah. That could be arranged. I’ll get back to you when I’ve talked to Even. He should be home around 1700. Can I text you this evening?” Isak looked at the time – it was quarter past twelve now. He was about to leave work, picking up Lucas from school.
“Sure. You’ve got my number. Please, feel free to call or message me at any time this evening.”
“Ok, bye!”
“Bye, Isak!”
He hung up. Thoughts going wild in his head. A baby girl. It was what they’d been talking about. Actually they’d been talking quite a lot about it lately, how nice it had been with a little brother or sister to Lucas. He was eight (and a half, dad. Eight and a half!) now, and was in third grade at school and did very well. He had lots of friends, but Marcus was his best friend at school, and Kerim was his best friend too, despite they attended different schools. The three of them were the best friends in the whole wide world, and when they got together nothing could tear them apart. Isak loved that the sons of his best friends had grown so close to Lucas. He was so grateful.
And a little girl. That would just be awesome. But then; what if the same thing happened with her as it had with Lucas. Her mother suddenly taking the case to a trial and they lost her. He couldn’t go through that one more time. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t manage that, he knew. And he wasn’t sure Even would either. They’d vaguely talked about adoption, but hadn’t done anything more to it yet. They were still kind of young, Isak had turned 32 in June, and Even was 34, and adopting at that age was no problem.
Isak walked out of the hospital, and got to the tram stop. He watched the people walking past him, and looked particularly at the once with strollers. He could clearly picture himself with a stroller with Even and Lucas. He knew Lucas would be a great big brother, knowing how much he cared for both Bea and Ayla. He loved those little girls. Played with them, read to them, talked with them and helped them. He was a natural at it.
Isak got on the tram picking out his phone and wrote a message to Even.
<3 MY HANDSOME HUSBAND <3 (12:20)
“Hey handsome”
“Are you home by 1700?”
“<3”
He knew Even probably wouldn’t answer in a while. There were exams at UNI now, and he was up to his ears in work. But he always was home by five, never staying late. Isak was so proud of him taking care of himself. When they almost lost Lucas, that autumn, Isak was almost certain it would cause Even to go into a manic episode or a depressive period, but he didn’t. He had some days he was down and exhausted some weeks after, but not so bad it could be classified as a full depressive period. He was able to get out of bed and function at home, just not at work and outside the house.
Kriss had been their anchor together with Anders and Liv. He honestly didn’t know how they got through it, but they did. And Lucas stayed. He could still remember the feeling he got when they got the message in Anna’s office a little more than two years ago. It was pure happiness and relief. And when they got back home and could tell the news to Lucas…. Amazing. Isak thought back to the scene that occurred when they came back after the meeting.
Lucas was curled up on the sofa, sleeping with his head in Liv’s lap. Even had walked over to him and sat down on the floor beside him and stroke his hair and cheek. Both Even and himself had smiled so widely that Liv and Anders understood that something good had happened.
“What’s happened? You two look just as you looked when you got married? It’s not the same faces that was on the two boys who left this house an hour ago?” Liv looked at them. Isak smiled at the description of Even and him as boys, but maybe they did look like two boys now? He had looked at Even and nodded. It was Even’s story to tell.
“We got full custody for Lucas.” He smiled even wider – if it was possible.
“What?” Anders stood up. “You did?”
“Yes…” Isak said, and couldn’t say more because he had his arms full of Anders. He hugged him so tight he hardly could breath. And Liv threw herself at Even and hugged him while the tears just flowed.
Lucas woke because of the sudden movement Liv had done, and when he saw Liv crying, his face turned pale and Isak could see fear in his eyes. He let go of Anders and hurried over to him and took him in his lap.
“Hey sweetie. You’re awake. How’s your stomach?”
“Better” he whispered. “Why is Grandma crying?”
“She’s just happy” Isak said, smiled at him. “You know the meeting Even and I should go to?”
“Yeah” he still whispered.
“Anna’s boss said you’re going to stay with us. As long as you need. You’re staying with us, Luc.”
Lucas just stared at him for a while, and then he threw himself around Isak’s neck and cried. He gripped his neck so hard that Isak had trouble breathing, but he didn’t care. Didn’t want Lucas to loosen his grip. He needed it, so Isak put his arms around his back and held him tight to his chest. And Even came up in the sofa with them and put his arms around Lucas as well and whispered in Lucas ear;
“You’re staying Luc. Your home is with us. Until you’re all grown up. And even longer.”
Isak snapped out of the memory by a sound from his phone. It was a message from Even.
<3 MY HANDSOM HUSBAND <3 (12:29)
“Hey yourself, handsomer!”
“Maybe earlier. Just three candidates left.”
“You and Lucas going shopping after school?”
“Yeah, that’s the plan.”
“New jacket and a pair of winter shoes, wasn’t it?”
“Yes. And beanie, gloves and woollen underwear.”
“At least three pairs!”
“Got it!”
“I’m the master of shopping clothes!”
“No, you’re not. You hate it!”
“I really do!”
“Wish you could come with us.”
“Shopping is much more fun with you!”
“I know.”
“I’m fun to be with!”
“But you’ll manage.”
“Lucas know what he wants. Just buy what he wants.”
“He’s a sensible boy!”
“I know.”
“I’ve rubbed off on him!”
“No, you haven’t.”
“He’s got that from my mother.”
“You’re probably right.”
“What do you want for dinner?”
“You’re making or ordering?”
“What do you think?”
“Ordering”
“We can have pizza.”
“And a happy eight-year-old!”
“Eight and A HALF!”
“Of course!”
“<3”
“Got to work. See you later.”
“Love you <3”
“Love you!”
“<3”
Isak smiled at the phone. How could it be that he still felt the butterflies in his stomach just by messaging Even? He shook his head, and realized that the tram had stopped at Lucas’ school. He got up and got of just in time.
Lucas was one of the last out – as usual. He was – again as usual – talking to Marcus and they smiled and laughed. When he looked up and saw Isak he smiled.
“Hey, dad! Can Marcus come with us, please?”
Isak smiled at them, knowing they wanted to be together 24/7 if they could, but not today.
“Sorry, boys. We’re going shopping for clothes, Lucas. And I think it’s a good idea that we do that on our own, Marcus.”
“Yeah.” Marcus smiled. “Me too. I hate shopping.”
“You can come tomorrow if it’s ok with Jonas and Eva. Lucas has to attend the after school program for a couple of hours though, but I can pick you up around 1530?”
“Cool!” Marcus said.
“Ok with that, Luc?”
“Sure. See you tomorrow, Marcus. Bye.”
“Bye” Marcus said, smiling and walked back to the after school.”
Lucas turned to Isak, grabbed his hand as they started to walk to the tram.
“What clothes are we shopping for?” he asked.
“Shoes, jacket and woollen underwear, I’ve got a list from dad.”
“I hate woollen underwear.” Lucas scrunched his whole face. “It’s itchy.”
Isak smiled. He knew. He hated it too. Lucas had picked after him in so many ways during the five years they’d have him. Science-geek, rolling eyes, hated woollen underwear, grumpy in the morning…. Isak smiled even wider.
“We’ll see if we can find some itchy-free underwear then” Isak squeezes his hand.
Lucas nodded. “Why isn’t dad coming with us?”
“Exams at UNI. He would love to be with us, but there are exams all week, and shopping after 1800 with you are not a clever idea, and you have to have those winter clothes for Friday when you’re going on that fieldtrip with your class. The weather forecast says it’s going to snow.”
“Yippie! Snow!! I have to get a new pair of pants too. The old one got a hole on both knees.”
“Ok. New pants too, on the list!”
They walked on the tram and found a free seat for the both of them, sitting down and Lucas put his face to the window, watching all the people on the streets.
“Dad?”
“Hmm?” Isak was reading some news on his phone.
“Hey, dad?” Lucas turned around, looking at him.
“What?” he looked at him, and saw Lucas smiling his mischievous smile he always had when he was up to something. “What’s on your mind now, Luc?”
“You should text grandma and ask her to come with us. Then you’ll have someone to talk to when you don’t have a clue.”
“I don’t have a clue? I’m the master of shopping, Lucas.”
“No, you’re not, dad. You hate it!”
Isak smiled at him. “I do. But sometimes we got to do things we don’t like, right. And this is one of the things I have to do. But texting Grandma was a good idea! You’re so clever, Luc!”
“I know” Lucas said with a grin on his face.
MUM <3 (12:55)
“Hey”
“Your two favourite boys are heading downtown to shop clothes now.”
“Want to join us?”
It didn’t take long before she answered.
“Oh, that would be so fun, but I’m sorry, sweeties. I’m stucked at work till at least 1400. Maybe I can join you then, if you’re not done?”
“Ok. We’ll see how long the shopping takes.”
“By the way; why are you and Luc shopping alone?”
“Does Even know you’re out shopping without an adult? J ”
“Hey, that’s rude!”
“ J ”
“He’s at work until 1700, and Lucas need new clothes.”
“Fieldtrip with his class on Friday.”
“Oh.”
“I bet you’re not done by 1400.”
“Yeah, probably not.”
“I hope to see you later!”
“Me too.”
“Give Luc a kiss from me, please!”
“On the tram?”
“I don’t think so.”
“He would be furious!”
“Hug then.”
“That’s playing with fire, but I’ll try!”
“<3”
“<3”
Isak smiled to himself as he put down the phone. Giving Lucas a kiss on the tram, he was sure he would erupt like a volcano!
“What did she say, dad? Lucas watched him. “And why are you smiling so?”
“She asked me to give you a kiss…..
Lucas face changed – it was all embarrassed and angry at once, and his eyes got dark and his voice low; “Don’t you dare…”
“… but I told her I couldn’t..”
Lucas sighed in relief.
“… then she asked me to give you a hug.” Isak smiled at him.
“That I can do.” Lucas smiled again, anger slipped away from his face and he leaned in to Isak and hugged him, he even put his arms around Isak’s neck, and Isak put his arms around the boy he silently called his son, and hugged him tight. “Ok, that’s enough” Lucas said, untangled himself from Isak’s embrace. “Is she coming?”
“She got to work until 1400, so maybe she’s joining us later. If we’re not done until then.”
Lucas looked at his watch and smiled. “We’re definitely not done until then. It’s just an hour. Now way we’re done until that!”
Isak silently agreed. They wouldn’t be done until then, because they both wanted to spend some time with Liv.
They got downtown and started their search for winter clothes and shoes. The shoes were simple. Done in the first shop they went too. So was the gloves and beanies and the jacket and pants too. The woollen underwear was a challenge, and already by the second shop Lucas sighed and stated a bit grumpy and tired;
“Can we have something to eat, dad. I’m hungry and my feet hurts.”
“Sure, sweetie. We can go over to Starbucks and get something. It’s a quarter past two by the way. What about texting grandma?”
Lucas smiled and nodded.
<3 MUM <3 (14:15)
“Hey.”
“We’re at Starbucks at Oslo City if you want to join us?”
“Hey you!”
“Walking out of my office now. Be there in ten.”
“Thank you!”
“She’s coming in ten” Isak smiled at Lucas. “What do you want to eat and drink?”
“Hot coco and a cinnamon roll”, he answered.
“OK. Just sit here and wait, I’ll soon be back.”
Lucas nodded, climbed up on a chair and Isak stuffed all their bags under the table. It was close to the counter, so Isak could easily watch him while he bought food and drinks to them. They never left him out of sight whenever they were in crowded places. They knew they were overprotective about it, but who could blame them. And Lucas actually never asked to go on his own. He was scared being left alone, he didn’t even like being alone at home, so he never was.
Isak brought back a coco and cinnamon roll for Lucas and two coffees and a sandwich for himself and Liv. She soon joined them, leaning in to give Isak a kiss on the cheek, and one for Lucas. He wrinkled his face;
“Grandma, we’re in public. You can’t do that!”
“Sure I can. I’m your grandma. I can always kiss you – and always will!” She smiled at him, and actually got a smile back. “So how are you boys managing the shopping. Still can’t believe Even’s let you on to this all by yourself.”
“We’re the masters of shopping grandma!” Lucas smiled. “I’ve got shoes, jacket, pants, two pair of gloves and two beanies. We’ve got woollen underwear left. Ugh!”
“You don’t like woollen underwear?”
“It’s itchy.”
“I know where they’ve got woollen underwear that’s not itchy. We can go there after we’re done eating.”
“Cool!”
They chatted a bit about school, work and everyday stuff, before they collected their stuff and headed off to the shop Liv knew about.
The shop was filled with childrens clothes, and Liv walked straight to the shelf with underwear. It was wool with a thin layer of silk on the inside. She picked out a sweater and asked Lucas to go try it on.
Isak had stopped by another shelf. It was all girl’s clothes, tiny girl’s clothes, and he just stood there and stared at the tiny clothing, dresses, sweaters, socks, pants, mittens, beanies… They were all so beautiful, tiny, shining. His thoughts drifted off a bit. Thinking about dressing a little girl in all those beautiful clothes. Having her in his arms, putting her down in Evens arms. Picturing Lucas play with her… He almost picked some of them down. Liv came up behind him,
“I don’t think Lucas want to wear those” she whispered in Isak’s ear. Isak felt himself blush, and turned around.
“Oh, I know. I just…”
“Something you guys haven’t told us?”
“No, it’s… No.”
“Isak, I know you. Something is up. Please tell me?”
“I haven’t talked to Even about it yet, but Anna called today and asked if we wanted to take care of a little girl. She’s only two weeks old. You can’t tell him I told you first.”
“Oh my God, Isak. That’s wonderful.”
“Nothing’s decided yet, we’ve got to talk about it first. I’m kind of scared. What if the same thing happens to her as it did to Lucas. I can’t handle it.”
“It won’t. That horrible thing can’t happen twice. That’s not possible.”
“Probably not. We still got to talk about it, and you can’t say anything. Promise me!”
“I’ll promise.”
“Hey dad!” Lucas voice sounded from the back of the store. “These ones do not itch. It’s like magic!”
Isak walked over to him, smiling, he looked back over his shoulder and saw Liv standing by the shelf and looked at the girl’s clothes. She touched some of them and picked a couple of them down.
“That’s wonderful, Luc. Which one do you want to have? Dad said three sweaters and three pair of pants, but I’ll think we’ll take four.”
“I want this one” he touched the one he was wearing, it was red and white “and a green one, a blue and the purple and black one. And the matching pants.”
“You sure about the purple one?”
“Yes. Boys can wear purple you know!”
“I know. I just didn’t know you liked it.” He smiled at Lucas. Proud of him for choosing colours of his own liking, and not what others thought.
They payed and walked out of the shop. Liv got out some minutes after with a bag in her hand.
“You bought something too, grandma?”
“Yeah.” She smiled at Isak, and Isak knew which shelf she’d picked from. He just shook his head and smiled.