Work Text:
❄ -5- ❄
A Christmas cat: a Yoonmin Christmas story
FROM: [email protected]
DATE: Sun. 17/12/2017 23:45 p.m.
SUBJECT: [XMAS] Collection Notice
Dear Mr. Min,
If you are receiving the following message it means a do-gooder Christmas spirit will be visiting you in the following twenty-four hours to pay the due balance of your behavior throughout the year. We ask you whole-hearted do not mistake the assigned spirit for one of the Christmas’ Ghosts due this is a very sensitive subject for them –you know, the whole “not-dead thing” (basically they refused to be called ghosts and someone in the syndicate thought the term “spirit” was friendlier for the visitors and the visited) - Your assigned agent will explain further details about how to obtain a positive balance before December 25th.
Until then, we salute you.
Sincerely,
The Santa Helpers – Behavior department
101 Santa Claus Lane
North Pole, AK 99705
Yoongi re-read the paragraph twice before sniggering.
Spam trash e-mail was getting more and more creative every year.
Without hesitation, he pressed «delete» and stretched his arms behind his neck before yawning.
Yoongi shuffled towards his refrigerator just to find it empty again. He had forgotten shopping groceries… again. Nothing a quick call to the Chinese restaurant two blocks away wouldn’t solve, except… that when he closed the fridge’s door he wasn’t alone anymore. The boy startled when a girl appeared on the counter of his kitchen. She was wearing a two piece white business suit along with high heels and her hair and her bangs were perfectly straight, blonde almost white, her hair tips were cyan like blue raspberry licorice.
“Who the fuck are you and how the fuck you got in?” Yoongi cornered against a distant counter.
She went down of the furniture and introduced herself. “Good night, sir. My name is Lisa and I will be your behavior agent for these holidays. I’m aware you must have received an e-mail a few moments ago where the department announced my arrival. I’m here to explain your current situation and-”
“I’m calling the police.” Yoongi looked for his phone inside some of his pockets.
“There will be no need. I work for the Not-so-Good Behavior & Debtors of Christmas Spirit division, or the N.S.G.B.D.C.S. which is a specialized subdivision of the Behavior department for Santa Claus & Associations. We are in charge of regulating situations on the very edge of the balance of good and bad actions in order to bring some green numbers to your annual statements.” She recited the whole thing as if she had done and practiced before and ended with a perfect smile.
Yoongi blinked a few times.
“Get the hell out of my house.”
He passed next to her carelessly after remembering his phone was buried somewhere among the cushions of the couch he had been using as a bed for the past week. But when he removed the black sheet that was covering the sofa; his Christmas «spirit» appeared just in front of him.
She didn’t lose the enthusiasm so easily. “You’re Min Yoongi, apartment 7B, Nowon-gu, Seoul, Korea. Born in March 3rd of 1993 in Buk-Gu, Daegu. Blood type O. Currently working as a graphic designer for the sign Oh&Oh, Toys & Co. You practically make toys!”
“No, I sell them. And how in the world you know all that?” Yoongi crossed his arms in front of his chest, doubting of everything he knew.
“I told you, I’m your agent! I’m here because your numbers are very red this year.” She extended a graphic chart in front of him. Was she carrying that when she arrived? “Look at this crooked low green line; those are your good actions during the year. I could count them with my fingers. We’ve been watching you for a while and this is not the first time, there is no sign of redemption, not improvement, amigo. What am I supposed to do with this?”
“Uh… lemme see if understood. You’re here because I’m on Santa’s naughty list?”
She nodded. “You’re more than that; you’re in the edge of the Permanent Naughty List.”
Yoongi burst into laughter and then he clicked his tongue.
“Sure, listen, Ghost of Christmas Past, I don’t know what kind of joke is this…”
Min Yoongi had broken the golden rule: do not call the Christmas spirit a ghost.
Lisa’s eyes were twitching and her hair tips turned red.
“You, sir, have no choice.” Her tone gave Yoongi goosebumps. “If you don’t make yourself a lovable person then I’ll have to take drastic measures and if for the date of December 24th at 23:59 you haven’t achieve it, you’ll end up on the Permanent List… or worse.”
The window of the living room burst opened and with a heavy blizzard, the spirit vanished leaving a gelid trace behind.
Yoongi shook his head. He definitely needed sleep more.
Yoongi woke up the next morning feeling he had had the best rest of his life. He had forgotten how sleeping on a real bed was since Christmas campaign had started for the advertising team.
He extended his arms and his legs, then he reached the edge of the bed, ready to brush his teeth when he noticed how near the floor was. Just when he jumped off and landed on four paws he knew something was wrong.
«What is happening? I just went to sleep after that hallucination and…»
He saw his reflection on the bedroom’s mirror.
The figure reflected copied all his movements.
But that wasn’t Yoongi, it was impossible because Min Yoongi wasn’t…
…a cat.
A white-furred plush-like animal with giant dark eyes.
Was he?
«What the actual fuck is happening? » He questioned himself after seeing his fluffy contra-part that stared from the mirror. «I don’t have a cat… or a tail. »
“Well, well, well, look who’s already much nicer than last night.” His spirit displayed a satisfied grin. “Good morning, Mr. Min. Enjoying the change?”
«Ya, what did you do? »
“Let’s just say since you’re not a very charming human-being… I thought you’d maybe be a charming cat.”
«Ha, ha. Very funny. For real, what kind of drugs did I use?»
“No drugs, but a spell. I’m authorized by the N.S.G.B.D.C.S. to use magic whenever the case requires it. You, Mr. Min, are getting a lesson you won’t forget.”
Yoongi, the cat, gulped.
«Is this really happening? I have work to do… people who know me and…»
“Don’t worry, all your relatives had been informed that you just won an all paid trip to South America for your Christmas bonus.” She showed off the phone on her hand. His phone.
Damn, she had thought it all.
«Ok, genius. What am I supposed to do now as a cat? You expect me to bring world peace looking like this?»
“Christmas’s around the corner. You don’t have to make anything big to make it meaningful, keep that in mind. I’ll see you soon, Min Yoongi.”
Yoongi moved his newly acquired tail.
Now what?
He didn’t have people to respond to or work to do. No responsibilities.
Yoongi, the cat, returned to bed feeling zero guilt.
Why in the world that spirit had turned him into the laziest domestic animal?
It was the glory for him.
It was the glory until six hours later after almost twenty hours of sleep he got ravenously hungry. His fridge was still empty but the difference from the previous night was that he couldn’t press the buttons of his phone and not even mentioning the digits of his credit card.
His perfect new life had one defect: he would have to get food in the old fashion way, like a cat.
The window Lisa had left opened when she left worked as the exit door and a young feline of twenty-four years came out to the world for the first time. The thing was that everything he knew about the world didn’t apply to his animalized figure.
For example, he didn’t consider the dogs barking, or sliding on the frozen metallic stairs with his tiny paws or the dense layer of snow accumulated he ended crash landing on afterward.
Yoongi couldn’t move from the hole he had created himself until a pair of warm arms found him on the mound.
White cat + snow = the perfect disguise
“Oh my God! Are you okay?”
«I’ve been better. » Yoongi replied when he forgot the boy couldn’t understand him.
“Poor kitty… you are shaking.” His savior angel squeezed him inside his cozy jacket. “Better?”
Yoongi purred in response.
“Ah, better indeed. Uh… I can’t let you here in the cold right? Is getting dark…”
The boy with the warm body and the tender hands hesitated for a second, looking for an owner around. As he didn’t see anyone nearby, he decided to take Yoongi with him, without knowledge of what was hiding behind his fur coat.
“We are here, Mr. Cat. I’m sorry it’s not The Palace but I hope it’s better than outside at least.”
Yoongi was so comfortable inside that boy’s jacket he almost fell asleep again. The boy took off his boots full of snow and softly placed him on the carpet and then the cat stared at his human for the first time.
Yoongi was grateful he was a cat because otherwise, he’d have the biggest gape on his face.
That boy was indeed, an angel. If Yoongi had been visited by a Christmas Spirit the day before, what assured him he wasn’t in presence of an angel on Earth? With that shining gold hair, precious eye smile, and glowing skin. He was wrapped in a few coats of wool but as soon as he got rid of the kilometric scarf around his neck… wow.
The cat got Yoongi’s tongue…
“Mr. Cat, would you like something to eat? I’m sure I have a can of tuna for you somewhere… or I could go downstairs and buy one… just let me…”
He was beautiful.
“Good news, I do have some canned fish over here. I hope you like it.” He brought a cardboard plate full for the pet. “Enjoy.”
Yoongi almost forgot he was starving and that he was a cat. The boy sat on the floor, expectant.
At least it wasn’t cat food…
“Ah, very well.” The boy touched Yoongi’s neck and he melted under his hand. “I don’t think we had introduced ourselves… I’m Jimin.” Jimin kept scratching his back. “No collar… I wonder if you have a microchip. Your owner must miss you.”
«You don’t have idea…» He gobbled up what was left on the plate.
“Don’t worry, you can spend the night here and tomorrow we’ll find them. I couldn’t leave you in the cold when there’s a storm announced tonight.”
Yoongi’s heart clenched. He was too pure, too good for this world.
Besides he had the best hands for scratching the back of his ears.
“Where’s the kitten?!” The voice coming from the kitchen woke up Yoongi –still in his cat form-.
“Ah, Tae, don’t wake him up! He was surely even too scared to spend the night alone I brought him with me to bed.”
Yoongi, the human, grinned.
He glared the new guest that approached the bedroom with a wide smile.
“Look at the kitty! It’s so cute!”
«I’m not cute, you… tall human. »
“He doesn’t have a microchip and I already posted a picture on all my social media; that should help me to find its owner.”
Taehyung started touching Yoongi’s head and he felt he was going to take the skin off his skull with that giant hand.
“What will you do if the owner doesn’t show up?”
Jimin looked at the feline with fondness. “I can’t leave him in the streets.”
«You tell ‘em.»
“I can take him with my grandma if you want- Ouch! Ow! Ow! He just bit me!” Taehyung complained shaking his fingers on the air with a pouting expression.
“That means he likes you! You know cats tend to do that when you pet them too much.”
«Let’s say it was that. »
“It’s been two days Mr. Cat and so far no one has called. What should we do now?” Jimin scratched Yoongi’s chin.
«Right there.»
“I think we should start finding a name for you… uh… Tae liked Whiskers or Snowball.”
Yoongi growled.
“Okay, I got it! I’m not very good with this-”
A strong wind blew and opened the window of the kitchen; there was a whistle that whispered Yoongi.
“Yoongi?” Jimin shook his head. “I’m hearing things…”
Yoongi pressed his paw on Jimin’s hand.
“You like it? Yoongi? Is that an appropriate name for a cat?”
The spoiled feline purred in response.
“Yoongi… I kinda like it.”
And after that, Yoongi was re-baptized.
Two days before Christmas, Yoongi had a visitation.
“Here you are.” Lisa sat on Jimin’s Sofa.
«Not that I could go or something…»
“What I mean is… you’re still here which means, you haven’t done anything to balance your situation.”
«Meaning…?»
“Remember the «worse»? Well, if you don’t do a selfless action before the day after tomorrow, you’ll remain as a cat… forever.”
Yoongi gulped. «Forever?!»
She nodded. “So far what you’ve done has been… lying in bed… all day… every day.”
«Wait there Christmas… spirit. Don’t you dare to leave.»
But when Yoongi blinked she was gone.
“I have the feeling your cat doesn’t like me.”
“Taehyung that’s ridiculous.” Jimin hanged the wreath above one of the windows.
“I’m for real… I swear the other day it hissed me.”
“Yoongi is the loveliest cat in the world. He even tried to join me in the shower yesterday, how many cats do that?”
Curiosity wet the cat.
“Oh, and you know that guy I had dinner the other night? The one that was an idiot? Yoongi here scratched his pants and he finally had an excuse to leave.”
“And that’s good?”
“The dude was a jerk.”
«You’re very welcome.»
How that wasn’t a good action?
His deadline was around the corner.
How was he supposed to make a good action as a cat? Besides all he did was spend time with Jimin. Sitting on Jimin’s lap, being pet by Jimin, playing with Jimin…
Jimin.
Where was Jimin at that moment?
With his bright smile and warm presence…
He was in the bathroom… crying.
He sobbed and Yoongi approached slowly like a breeze.
“Oh… it’s you…” Another soft sob. “I… was feeling ill.”
He was sitting next to the toilet; his face looked pale and haggard.
If Jimin was feeling ill, he was ill since Yoongi arrived. It wasn’t the first time he locked himself in the bathroom. If Yoongi was still a human he’d be clenching his fists so hard to make them bleed. But he was a cat, and all he could do was sit on his lap and hear Jimin cry until he dried his eyes.
The following day when the blonde boy left for work, Yoongi scanned his apartment looking for old magazines or any piece of paper he could tear apart. Even if his pink chubby paws were soft and delicate he still had sharp claws to help him.
Lisa appeared before he could finish.
“Yoongi, your time is almost over.” She held an hourglass on her hands. In fact, the sand of the superior part was almost gone.
«I haven’t finished. I have to wait until Jimin is here. He went to spend Christmas with Taehyung, should be back in a few hours. »
“But you’ll stay as a cat… forever.”
«I don’t care; I have to finish this for him! Move! »
Well, she was wrong; Yoongi was the same as a human and as a cat.
The clock announced twelve o’clock and Lisa left once again.
Yoongi had failed.
It was already midnight.
But it was worth it.
Jimin arrived at home and after he threw his keys he found his Christmas tree made a mess and no lights on it. As he kept walking already calling for Yoongi, he saw in the living room, surrounded by a thousand Christmas lights, cuts of magazines, newspapers and any paper repeating a single word over and over:
«Beautiful»
«Beautiful»
«BEAUTIFUL»
«You’re beautiful, Jimin.» Yoongi said but his voice came out like a meow.
Jimin was shaking, his eyes were teary and he kept covering his face. For a second Yoongi thought he didn’t like it, perhaps destroying the tree wasn’t that good idea.
But then, Jimin started giggling. His tears were no longer tears of sadness, he was full of joy. He kneeled on the floor and hugged Yoongi with strength while still shivering.
“Yoongi, I don’t have an idea how but… I love you.” His tears soaked his fur. “I wish you could understand me for an instant.”
Nevertheless, Yoongi understood everything.
Jimin went to bed with a smile on his face and Yoongi curled on his arms.
The following morning, Min Yoongi woke up and stretched his arms except…
He was waking up on his bed, on his house… without Jimin.
“Congratulations! You’ve made a selfless action just in time for Christmas morning.”
“But… you said…” Yoongi touched his face, feeling like himself again. “You said… What about Jimin?”
“He’ll have the memory of someone answering his advertisement of the missing cat and returning it to its correspondent owner.”
“But…”
Yoongi knew it was the right thing but still… he couldn’t help feeling a little empty inside. Something was missing under his Christmas tree that morning.
A few days later, Yoongi was back to work. As he imagined he had a lot of work to return when he changed as a human again.
One faithful morning, he was walking with a smoky cup of coffee on his hand when it was suddenly stolen.
A Christmas spirit could be resentful if she proposed it.
“Lisa? What are you doing here?”
“I’m your Christmas Agent, remember? I’m checking how you’re doing. It seems you’re back to work again.” No one else could see her walking on the street next to him.
“I’ve been alright.”
An aura of melancholy surrounded him always he remembered Jimin’s warm hands.
“Oh, don’t make that face. You know what? I know a coffee store nearby, go there and ask whatever you want, I’ll invite you.” She winked.
“But I already had coffee.”
“Yes, but this is mine. And trust me, that coffee is much better.”
Yoongi entered the coffee store. The smell of coffee beans flooded the place.
He approached the counter and ordered a simple macchiato.
“In a second.” The girl behind the counter charged.
“Whose name shall I write?” A familiar voice that came from behind the girl asked.
There he was. Jimin.
His Jimin.
Yoongi wetted his lips before pronouncing his own name while the breeze seemed to murmur:
«Merry Christmas, Min Yoongi.»