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Kim Jongin is an asshole. This has always been a fact in Sehun's life. Just like the grass is green when healthy, just like the sun shines on clear mornings, Kim Jongin is an asshole. This is usually a bearable fact, except today Sehun is sick, which means his lisp shows more than usual, and Jongin—being the asshole he is—has decided that it would be entertaining to hyper-fixate on it.
"It's so cute, Sehun, it's so cute."
"You're an asshole."
"Adorable, call me an asshole again."
Sehun sniffs and huffs, sinking a little lower on the sofa. Jongin pokes his cheek, and says, "you're pouting."
"I am," Sehun confirms, "and if you call me cute again, I'll scream at you. Like, I will actually just yell incoherently in your face."
"Can I call you adorable instead?"
"You're an a—" Sehun stops short and Jongin perks up.
"Yes, yes, I'm what?"
"A Dick," Sehun huffs again.
"Fine, then. Be like that, the lisp will show itself eventually." Jongin shrugs and gets up.
"I don't have a..." Jongin's eyebrows go up in anticipation. "Fuck you."
When Jongin cackles and walks away, Sehun decides that there is absolutely no way he is giving the Asshole the satisfaction of hearing his lisp. Immediately, his mind begins to compile a list of words he can't say and Sehun prays for patience; then he realises patience is a word he can't say and prays for Jongin walking into a wall instead.
"Jonginie," Sehun whines, some time midday from bed.
Jongin grunts back in acknowledgement, barely looking at the younger.
"I want a warm drink."
"I think we have coffee?" Jongin looks at him, brows furrowing a little.
"No, like, I want the warm drink you drink when you've got a cold." Sehun exaggerates a cough and Jongin—the Asshole—smirks.
"Hmm, I'm afraid I need you to be a little more specific, Sehunnie," Jongin sing-songs, resting his chin on his hands.
For a moment, Sehun considers giving in, but then Jongin's smirk deepens, almost as if he can read the former's mind, and Sehun's resolution solidifies.
"Dick."
"Pissbaby."
"I'll show you a p—"
"A pissbaby?" Jongin pats his head patronisingly. "I'm sure you will. I'll go get you that soup now."
Sehun blinks, then his shoulders slump and he huffs, pouting for the umpteenth time that day. He had barely been awake two hours, but they'd been nothing but misery, and it's all Jongin, the Asshole's fault.
When the older comes back with the soup, Sehun feels a little bad for calling him an asshole, because he's got it all laid out on the table they use when they're in bed and everything. Then Sehun notices that the spoon is in Jongin's hand and he decides that, no, Jongin continues to hold the title Asshole.
"Can I have that?" Sehun asks once Jongin places the table next to him.
"Have what?"
"The thing in your hand, Jongin."
"What, my phone?" Jongin questions, faux confusion lacing his voice as he looks at his phone that he'd just picked up.
"No, you idiot the other hand."
Jongin looks at his other hand and fakes surprise when he sees the spoon. "Oh, the spoon? Here you go, Sehun."
Sehun makes a face, snatching the spoon out of Jongin's hand, refusing to look the laughing older man in the face.
"Why do you hate me?"
"I don't hate you, I just love bullying you about your lisp." The Asshole smiles, happy and bright and Sehun hopes he trips and lands in a trash can one day.
Around 6p.m., Sehun decides that this is harder than he thought. The world contains too many words he cannot say without his lisp showing, and he realises he's been taking them for granted. Some of these words include salt ("Jongin, can you pass the—"), seven ("I'm going to nap, can you wake me up at—"), and sleepy ("I feel—"). It's how he finds himself in his current predicament, which is him not speaking at all instead of trying to rephrase everything to fit his needs.
"Have you taken your medicine?" Jongin asks.
Sehun shakes his head, arms crossed, permanent pout on his face like the Adult he is. Jongin snickers a little and walks off to the kitchen, coming back a minute later with a glass of water and some medication, which Sehun takes silently.
”Are you just gonna keep silent for the rest of the day?” Jongin smirks as Sehun swallows down his medicine and the latter shoots him a pointed look and crosses his arms. “Nice, you won’t annoy me, then!”
”You a—!” Sehun clamps his mouth shut and pouts.
"Yes, baby, I'm an asshole."
Sehun goes back to his default position of pouty and cross-armed, eyes looking at anything that isn't his Asshole boyfriend.
"Sehunnie," Jongin whines, plopping down onto the bed next to the grumpy boy, "talk to me. Come on. Talk. Speak. Use your words."
"You'll make fun of me."
"Of course I will, that's how you and I are."
"Dick."
At 8p.m., Jongin decided he needed to go to the store, leaving Sehun to his own devices for a while (one that could range from around fifteen minutes to three hours depending on what mood Jongin was in when he got to the store). The younger's feet drag across the floor, the fuzzy socks, he'd put on ten minutes ago making his trip to the kitchen a slippery one. Slippery was another word he couldn't say out loud until Jongin dropped the lisp thing (which could be by tomorrow morning or in two weeks, again, depending on Jongin's mood by the end of the night).
"Dumb Jongin and his dumb fixation," Sehun grumbled to himself, only a little delirious from the fever he was sporting. "Dumb dumb dumb, he's always so dumb."
Sehun pauses as he opens the fridge door, enunciating the last sentence so that his lisp is almost unheard. It's not like Jongin was legitimately teasing him, and it's not like he hated his lisp. Jongin had called it endearing multiple times before, but Sehun being sick always resulted in him being just a little cranky, which meant that Jongin had all the more fun bullying him.
"I'll... Break up with him!" He stops and looks around after his announcement, and upon remembering he's alone, he grumbles again, "Sehun, you dumbass, stop talking to yourself."
He huffs at his lisp again before pulling a juice out of the fridge and shoving it shut.
It takes about twenty minutes for Jongin to come back, because he doesn't ever trust Sehun with himself when he's sick. By the time the elder walks through the door, Sehun had burrowed under three blankets on the sofa and was watching some reality show on silent, eyelids drooping as he makes the dialogue up.
"And he can't go, because I'm pregnant. It's not his child, but he doesn't have to know that." He mumbles as the woman's lips move onscreen.
"Who doesn't have to know what?" Is the response he gets and Sehun startles, nearly falling off the sofa.
"Do not scare me like that, I could have had a heart attack! Would you like a dead boyfriend? I don't think so!"
Jongin's eyebrows go up as he sits down next to Sehun, placing a hand on his forehead, checking for a fever. Sehun instinctively leans into the touch.
"You have a fever, and I've decided it's time for bed. Let me get that... gel thing you put on the forehead, I can never remember what it's called."
Sehun hums and leans back, head against what he assumes is the back of the sofa. When Jongin gets back, he puts something cold on Sehun's forehead and the latter whines.
"You ass, it's cold."
"What'd you call me?" Sehun can hear the smile on his voice, despite his closed eyes.
"I called you an Ass, Jongin. An Ass. I said it with my lisp. And I'm breaking up with you until further notice."
"Ah huh, and while broken up, will you be sleeping on the sofa?"
"No, you will, because you're the ass." Jongin chuckles at that and Sehun finally opens his eyes, his gaze meeting his smiling boyfriend's.
"Would you like to come to bed, now? Before your delirious ass decides to embarrass yourself any further?"
Sehun giggles like a little kid and blames it on the fever. "You're such a good boyfriend."
"Didn't you just break up with me?" Jongin asks as he hauls the already half asleep Sehun to their room.
"I said until further notice, and we've reached further notice."
"Is further notice code for 'until I need you to carry my half asleep ass back to bed?'" Jongin's gentle when he places Sehun on the bed, careful not to jostle the Cold Gel Thing.
"Don't make me break up with you again."
Sehun, despite his threats, reaches for Jongin as the latter pulls his shirt off and gets into bed with him. The younger settles his head on his boyfriend's shoulder, arm slung over his waist and legs tangled together.
"Hey."
Sehun hums in response.
"The lisp is still cute."
"If I wake up wanting to puke, I'll do it all over you."
"That's disgusting."
"So is your face."
Jongin laughs and Sehun feels it reverberate through his chest.
"Goodnight, Sehunnie. please don't puke on me."
"Goodnight, Nini. No promises."