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“So I figured you were my best bet.”
Hoseok barely registers Taehyung’s words over the ringing in his ears. This can’t be happening.
Taehyung is looking at him, mostly curious with just a hint of apprehension.
“If you don’t want to, it’s fine… I just thought it was worth a shot.” Hoseok thinks Taehyung might be blushing, and in any other situation he might’ve stored that information away to consider later.
As it stands, he’s trying to pretend like his world didn’t just turn on it’s head. Taehyung is looking more and more nervous by the second and Hoseok should really say no, should put both of them out of their misery before this train has a chance to wreck.
“Yeah, sure thing Tae.”
He can almost hear the screech of crashing metal in the distance.
×
So maybe Hoseok has had a crush on Taehyung since they shared a math class last year.
And maybe he’s been putting off doing anything about it ever since.
But Taehyung has always been one to surprise him, from their first day of classes when Tae was the only sophomore in a class full of juniors. Hoseok had set out to befriend him, hoping to be a familiar face in a sea of strangers. Taehyung had accepted his friendship with a charming smile and proceeded to make himself at home amongst the rest of the class, easy as breathing.
Everyone was a potential friend, the only thing different about Hoseok was that he had sought Taehyung out first. He likes to think that sets him apart.
It started out as a stupid crush, that warm smile awakening a pining in the very depths of his soul that demanded to be felt. But Hoseok was mature, and he wasn’t going to melt into a puddle at Taehyung’s feet. He did his best to be Taehyung’s friend, careful not to push the boundaries. He enjoys being Taehyung’s friend, really. That’s part of the reason it’s so hard for him to do anything about his feelings. He’d hate to think that Hoseok has only been nice to him all this time because he also wants to hold his hand when they talk in the halls.
It’s only grown since then, though. Taehyung is personable, and funny. And he makes everyone feel special just for being around him. At first Hoseok thought this meant there was no chance for him, that Taehyung is always just being nice. He still leans to that interpretation when his self-esteem is on the lower side.
But Taehyung seems to genuinely care about him.
Last year he’d gotten Hoseok a book he’d mentioned in passing for his birthday. Hoseok hadn’t even told him his birthday. It was one of the happiest days of his life, and when he tried to properly thank Taehyung for it, he’d blushed and brushed it off like it was nothing. This year he’d made sure to get Taehyung something special for his birthday, and when he’d handed it over Taehyung had given him such a warm, big hug that he’d had a goofy smile on his face the rest of the day.
Namjoon and Yoongi have been listening to him talk about Taehyung for over a year now, and it didn’t seem like that was going to change anytime soon. Hoseok didn’t count on Taehyung making the first move.
And really, even if he had accounted for it somehow - he never would’ve imagined it would be such a giant leap.
×
“Namjoon. I hate to do this, but you owe me.”
Namjoon’s face goes pale as he slowly closes his locker door, turning to face Hoseok. “You wouldn’t.”
Hoseok fidgets where he’s standing, wishing things hadn’t come to this. “I really, really honestly don’t have any other choice. I don’t like this anymore than you.”
“Then why do it!” Namjoon squeaks, face quickly gaining the colour it had lost as he appears to think through just what Hoseok is asking of him.
Hoseok has never felt so desperate, he needs to save this. “Bring Yoongi, I could use his help. And if that doesn’t do something about the tension between you two nothing will.”
Namjoon’s still sputtering some half-hearted defense when Hoseok walks off to his last class.
×
“Are you gonna tell us what’s going on?” Yoongi is sitting in Hoseok’s computer chair, spinning slowly.
“Namjoon didn’t tell you?” Hoseok asks, wiping his sweaty palms against the fabric of his jeans. He kind of feels like he’s gonna throw up. Namjoon is sitting next to him staring at the ceiling as if begging for divine intervention.
Yoongi stops spinning, shooting Namjoon a confused look. “No. I didn’t realize there was a purpose to this until I found you two sitting here looking like a nauseous couple ready for counseling.
Namjoon lets out a pathetic whine. Yoongi’s glance turns concerned and Hoseok rolls his eyes.
“Wait…” Yoongi starts, struck with a sudden realization. “Are you two…”
“Fuck no.” Hoseok says at the same time Namjoon shakes his head rather violently.
“Oh.” Yoongi attempts nonchalance, but his relief is obvious.
“He’s just gonna teach me to kiss.” Hoseok explains, and Yoongi’s jaw drops.
×
“How did you get him to agree to this exactly?” Yoongi seems to be mostly over the fact that Hoseok and Namjoon are, in fact, going to be kissing in front of him. “And why the hell do I need to be here?”
“I got dirt on him.” Hoseok says with a shrug, “and you’re here to give pointers, and for moral support.”
“But why?” Yoongi starts, “why him and why now?”
“Less talking, more kissing.” Hoseok replies, slapping his hands together. Namjoon groans.
×
Their faces are close. Hoseok can smell the banana milk on Namjoon’s breath. He suggested they both brush their teeth and Namjoon had responded with “why would I want to make this any easier for you?” So he’s facing down the banana milk breath, head tilted slightly as Yoongi instructed and - he’s suddenly struck with something he hadn’t considered before.
“We can’t do this.” He says, leaning away from Namjoon.
“Oh thank fuck.” Namjoon says, laughing in relief as he quickly backs away from Hoseok.
“What’s the problem?” Yoongi asks.
“Too much lip. Not realistic. I think…” Hoseok trails off, turning to look at Yoongi. “I think I need to kiss you, hyung.”
“Not happening. You’ve got nothing on me.”
Hoseok groans, flopping back onto his bed.
“Can you please just tell us what the hell this is about?”
Hoseok covers his face with his hands, and mumbles through the cracks. “Taehyung wants me to take his virginity.”
The silence stretches on longer than is comfortable. Both Namjoon and Yoongi have blank faces, and it’s starting to freak Hoseok out.
“What?”
“It’s not that I don’t believe you…” Namjoon starts
“Oh fuck you. He told me today he wants someone older, with more experience to make his first time good.”
“So I’m guessing he doesn’t realize you’ve never even kissed anyone?” For his part, Namjoon looks sympathetic while he poses his question.
Hoseok nods, trying not to pout. “That’s why I need experience - and fast.”
“Hold up, I barely agreed to kissing you - and that was with extensive blackmail. There’s no way I’m gonna be your sex guru.” Namjoon says, scrambling away from Hoseok on the bed.
“Like you know any more than me,” Hoseok retorts.
“Why don’t you just talk to him?” Yoongi interrupts, staring at Hoseok like he’s missing something obvious. “Tell him the truth, and maybe mention the fact that you’ve liked him for like, years.”
Namjoon and Hoseok both sit quietly in contemplation. “How would that fix anything?” Namjoon says finally.
“Right? That would just make things worse. Not only would I not get to be with Taehyung, he’d also think that I’m a nerdy virgin.”
“One: nothing wrong with being a virgin, and two: you are a nerdy virgin?” Yoongi flashes a gummy smile and Hoseok aims a pillow at his head.
“So what is your plan then?” Namjoon asks.
“Oh, I’ve got it all figured out.” Hoseok attempts to assure, somehow sounding even less confident than he feels.
×
“I think we should take it slow.”
Hoseok was very tempted to just text Taehyung his plan, but that seemed kind of cowardly. Also, he’s a little scared that the government agency no doubt monitoring his every move will let it slip to his mom what he’s been saying.
Totally justified fear.
Either way, he’s practiced his speech in his bedroom and now he’s here. Taehyung’s just coming back from choir and heading to bio, and Hoseok’s on his way to history a few doors down. He catches Taehyung in the hallway and pulls him away from the crowd to talk.
“You said that you wanted your first time to be good, right?” Hoseok asks, trying his best to look Taehyung in the eye without blushing or thinking too hard about what they’re so casually discussing.
“I did say that,” Taehyung encourages, and he can’t quite meet Hoseok’s eyes - which somehow makes all this a little easier. At least Hoseok isn’t the only one feeling shy.
“Well, a big part of that is intimacy. You’ll feel more comfortable if you feel connected to the person you’re with.” Hoseok knows, because he’s been scouring the internet for information (in incognito mode) for the past few days.
“Ah, well that shouldn’t be a problem,” Taehyung starts, giving Hoseok a smile that’s somewhere between soft and teasing, “I’m already comfortable with you, hyung.”
Hoseok knows it’s probably just flirting, just Taehyung saying what he thinks Hoseok wants to hear to rile him up. Which is why it’s so frustrating when it just makes him feel happy and warm. Damn this stupid crush.
“Uh, sure.” Hoseok answers, and really it’s a wonder he manages to respond at all. “Either way, you kind of have to build up that sort of trust, y’know? Let’s just ease into this.” Hoseok hopes his intent comes across as noble rather than self preserving. “That way, you’ll have plenty of time and chances to back out if you change your mind.”
Taehyung is smiling for real now, and he’s about to say something when their bell rings. “Shit, I’ve already got too many lates in this class, sorry hyung I’ve got to go - I’ll text you.”
Hoseok waves him off, heads to his own class feeling both excited and terrified.
×
Hey! - 5:45 pm
Hoseok feels his gut flutter with nerves. More than he usually feels when texting Taehyung, which is a feat in itself.
Hey tae :D - 5:47 pm
So - 5:49 pm
About our talk earlier - 5:49 pm
Hoseok catches himself biting his lip. This is it. Taehyung is going to let him down gently, because he’s figured everything out. He watches the ‘…’ bubble and tries not to worry too much about what’s to come.
When u say take it slow - 5:51 pm
Do u mean like - 5:51 pm
Bj’s? - 5:52 pm
Oh. oh. Hoseok has maybe misjudged the situation entirely. Oh no.
Whoa whoa whoa - 5:53 pm
Slow down dude lol - 5:53 pm
Hoseok was not thinking of bj’s. Hoseok isn’t entirely certain he’ll be able to kiss Taehyung without missing or bumping noses.
Handies? - 5:55 pm
Hoseok is probably not going to make it to his graduation.
×
Hoseok manages to convince Taehyung that they should start from the very beginning - make things as natural as they would play out in a relationship.
So now they’re hanging out at Hoseok’s place watching a movie. A strategic move, as Hoseok’s parents are catching up with some old friends for dinner tonight. He tries not to focus on how this feels like something people who date do.
They put on some mindless comedy after Hoseok made them both popcorn. Hoseok thinks Taehyung had expected to just dive right into things but he hadn’t protested when Hoseok suggested the movie.
They’re a few minutes in when Taehyung shuffles himself closer to Hoseok, and Hoseok almost swallows a popcorn kernel whole. He’s really got a good grip on this illusion of experience thing.
“You wanna cuddle, Tae?” He manages finally, sitting up higher so he can wrap an arm around Taehyung’s shoulder.
“Amongst other things,” Taehyung says, leaning his head on Hoseok’s shoulder. Hoseok hopes Taehyung can’t hear whatever mess his heart is making in his chest.
“That’s forward of you,” Hoseok says with a laugh. He can do this. He just needs to play along.
“Mhm,” Taehyung starts, reaching for another handful of popcorn, “I’m totally grabbing your butt when we makeout.”
×
They get about halfway through the movie before Taehyung starts fidgeting.
“You okay, Tae?”
“Can we kiss now?”
Hoseok laughs, “would you be this impatient with someone you were dating?”
“Hyung,” Taehyung starts, “I wouldn’t even pretend to watch the movie with someone I was dating.”
Oh. Right.
He turns to Taehyung, face shadowed in the low light. A bright scene flashes on the tv and casts bright hues on the right side of his face. He’s looking back at Hoseok expectantly. He’s so, so handsome. And sweet. And funny, and kind, and - Taehyung. For the first time since he agreed to this nonsense, Hoseok lets himself wonder just how badly doing all this is going to impact him.
He has a feeling the answer is pretty damn badly.
But Taehyung is here on his couch, looking at him, looking at his lips, god. He’s here and Hoseok’s parents are going to be back in an hour and a half, and he’s everything Hoseok’s wanted for a year and a half.
An unhelpful voice in the back of his mind reminds him that this isn’t exactly what he’s wanted, that his daydreams have been about taking Taehyung to the amusement park he loves so much even when it scares the hell out of him. Of going on lazer tag dates or making friends with every animal in the pet store together. He wanted to hold Taehyung’s hand and buy him stupid gifts. To play DDR at the mall and make bets on who’d win.
But this is better than nothing, right? Hoseok leans in.
It’s not as horrible as he feared. Their lips meet without obstacle, and just the realization of what’s happening is enough to send a shiver down his spine. It’s barely a peck, but he’s not sure how to continue. He breaks away to look at Taehyung, and their eyes meet. Taehyung’s mouth is slack, his face nearly blank. Hoseok hears him swallow. His eyes trace the movement of his his adam’s apple. Then Taehyung is kissing him back.
He opens his mouth softly. Hoseok does his best to mimic. He doesn’t know a lot, but he can tell Taehyung has at least done this much before. It does nothing to calm his nerves or make him feel like less of a fraud. But this is supposed to be a good thing. So he focuses on Taehyung, on the soft sigh he lets out when Hoseok kisses him back. He tries to emanate every article he’s read, movie he’s seen, bit of affection he feels. He kisses Taehyung like he means it - and he hopes it’s enough.
He doesn’t think about his upper body until he feels the warm press of Taehyung’s hand against his waist. He realizes he must seem stiff as a board and shifts a little more towards Taehyung, knees bumping as he reaches - and hesitates.
Where should he touch Taehyung? Is it weird to grab his waist if Taehyung is already grabbing his waist?
Taehyung saves him the trouble of deciding by grabbing his hand and resting it on his shoulder. Hoseok runs his fingers through the hair at Taehyung’s nape, is overcome with a powerful fondness even as Taehyung sucks lightly on his bottom lip. He pulls away, focusing on where their knees are still pressed together, trying to catch his breath, listening to Taehyung do the same. Taehyung rests his head against Hoseok’s shoulder and Hoseok - he can’t help it.
He pulls Taehyung into his arms. Taehyung isn’t expecting it, and the force ends up knocking them backwards, Taehyung sprawled across Hoseok’s chest. Hoseok keeps him wrapped up in his arms for another few minutes, and Taehyung worms a hand across Hoseok’s ribs.
“Guess I’ll have to grab your butt next time,” Taehyung says.
Hoseok is quickly realizing what a terrible idea this was.
He smiles when he sends Taehyung off that night, but he can’t cover up the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, like he’s being used.
×
Kissing Taehyung wasn’t bad. Even factoring Hoseok’s inexperience into the equation, it had been pretty great. Hoseok hadn’t managed to mess things up - at least not enough for him to notice. But it felt wrong.
Taehyung didn’t ask to be his boyfriend, didn’t ask for any emotional attachment at all, really. It’s Hoseok that suggested they take things slow and build up to what Taehyung actually asked for. He shouldn’t take Taehyung’s leniency in the way this whole thing unfolds as anything more.
The thing that frustrates him the most is that he wants to - and knows he’s going to - do it again.
×
It’s Taehyung’s house that weekend when it happens. They’re on his bed. Taehyung had dragged him up the stairs by the hand, and Hoseok’s heart only lept a little. He’d barely gotten a chance to see Taehyung’s band posters and anime collection before he’s pushed onto his back on the twin bed. He’s getting his weeb jokes ready when Taehyung leans over him and plants a kiss on his nose.
Hoseok’s entire brain shuts off, and he’s sure it shows on his face. Taehyung backs away and they both stare at each other in shock for a moment, Taehyung looking more and more embarrassed until Hoseok finds his mouth to speak.
“You missed, Tae,” he puckers his lips in exaggeration, “they go right here.”
Taehyung giggles and pinches his side, laughing louder when Hoseok squeals at the contact.
Taehyung continues trying to tickle him and Hoseok flails in a desperate attempt to free himself from whatever weird dimension of hell this is. Taehyung’s face is going red from laughing and Hoseok is worried his screaming will alarm the neighbours.
He grabs at Taehyung’s arms and pushes them out from his very ticklish sides, which has Taehyung leaning precariously forward, trying to re-establish balance.
“Truce?” Hoseok asks, short of breath and eyes teary.
Taehyung’s no better off, and he just nods as he slips his wrists out of Hoseok’s grip and reaches for his face, cradling his head in hands and leaning in further to kiss him.
Hoseok tries not to respond too eagerly. The moment feels too soft for that. If he doesn’t think about it, he can almost pretend all of this is real.
They kiss slow and sweet. Hoseok doesn’t get as caught up in the mechanics of things, focuses on how he feels, on how he wants Taehyung to feel. Taehyung runs a thumb over Hoseok’s cheekbone before tilting his head to deepen the kiss.
It’s unfamiliar territory, but Hoseok doesn’t feel as nervous as last time. He follows Taehyung’s lead, doesn’t suppress the shiver when Taehyung presses his tongue tentatively into his mouth. Taehyung starts to shift from sitting and leaning over him to crawling over him, never breaking the kiss. It’s hardly any time at all before he’s kneeling over Hoseok, knees on either side of his hips, the hand he’d displaced from Hoseok’s face now bracing him next to his shoulder.
Hoseok tries to reach out for Taehyung’s waist, but misses the mark. He takes his hand away quickly but it’s too late, Taehyung is laughing against his mouth and it feels strange.
“No fair, hyung. I was gonna touch your butt first.”
Hoseok groans, “it wasn’t even on purpose…”
Taehyung frowns above him, hair hanging away from his forehead, “so you didn’t wanna touch my butt?”
“No, that’s not - ugh.” Hoseok sighs, “your butt is lovely Tae, but unfortunately - I didn’t grab it with intention. My aim was off.”
Taehyung seems to perk up at that, “lovely? Not exactly what I was hoping for, but I’ll take it.”
“Hey,” Hoseok whines, “don’t belittle my compliments.” He pinches Taehyung in the side to get back for earlier, and Taehyung collapses to the side next to him with a huff.
“Cuddling is part of intimacy right?” He’s laying on his side now, and his eyebrows are raising and lowering as if he’s asked something a lot less appropriate.
“Totally. Probably the most important bit.” Hoseok is definitely smiling.
“Well, let’s get to it then!” It’s all the warning Hoseok gets before Taehyung is laying his head on Hoseok’s chest and wrapping an arm and a leg around him like it’s nothing.
×
They’ve met up a good number of times to make out, and Hoseok is getting more and more nervous. Because they can only do this for so long. Either Taehyung figures out that he doesn’t have the experience he’s been claiming, or he calls Hoseok out for enjoying every moment with him in a very romantic way. He distances himself from Namjoon and Yoongi, though it isn’t necessarily intentional. He’s not mad at them or anything, but he knows what they’ll say. And he knows he’s not going to listen.
Namjoon finally corners him on a Friday after classes.
“Hey, let’s go.”
“... go where?”
“To my place.”
“I, uhh. I can’t. I’ve got plans.”
Namjoon gives him an unconvinced look, “not anymore you don’t.”
×
“So, how’d it go? You clink teeth?” Yoongi asks, immediately after jabbing him in the stomach for ignoring the both of them for nearly a month.
“It went well, I managed not to screw up at least.”
“So why’d you go MIA?” Namjoon asks, and he looks hurt. Hoseok feels terrible.
He lets out a whine, “I like him so much.”
Yoongi gets to him first, wrapping him up in a consoling hug he’s been pretending he doesn’t need.
Namjoon lets out a soft sigh, “I’ll go see if we have any good snacks.”
×
“You’ve gotta tell him, Hobi.”
“But we cuddle, hyung. It’s like a dream come true.”
“Not if you have to lie to yourself while you’re doing it.”
Hoseok doesn’t have anything to say to that. He’s got his head in Yoongi’s lap, his lower half scrunched so there’s enough room for Namjoon to sit next to them on the couch. Hoseok reaches for Namjoon’s hand and puts it in his hair.
“You don’t have to go through with this.” Namjoon is tiptoeing, Hoseok can tell. He starts playing with Hoseok’s hair though, so it’s not all bad.
“What do you mean?”
“The deal was sex, right? Are you even anywhere close to that?”
Hoseok thinks back to the accidental butt grab. “Yeah.”
“Do you really think Tae would want to have sex with you if he knew you were just doing it for him?”
Hoseok shifts uncomfortably, “he asked me like it was a favour to him in the first place.”
Yoongi sighs, “yeah, he asked. You’ve got a choice, Hobi. There’s nothing wrong with not being ready for that sort of thing.”
“But I really like him,” Hoseok explains.
“So?” Namjoon says. “You don’t have to want to bang someone just because you like them.”
Hoseok is starting to feel like he’s getting a talk from his parents, “He’s really hot. I definitely want to bang him in the future.”
Yoongi snorts at this, “great. Just don’t do it because you think you have to.”
Hoseok gets what they’re saying, knows they’re looking out for him. He’d expected something similar to this. But he can’t just - drop Taehyung. There’s no clean way to get out of this situation. No matter what, someone is going to get hurt.
×
The worst part is that it isn’t bad, not at all. The time they spend together is great, no matter what they’re doing.
For so long Hoseok’s kept this distance between them because he’s been scared of making a move. But now they show up at each others houses and make plans after school because that’s just the sort of friends they are.
Sometimes instead of kissing they go for a walk and get ice cream. Sometimes Taehyung just shows him anime that Hoseok pretends not to enjoy.
It doesn’t feel like what they’ve agreed upon, and that gives Hoseok hope. But Hoseok knows better than to think like that, so it mostly just leaves his memories of the two of them bittersweet.
They end up at Taehyung’s place more often than not. His parents don’t seem to be around as much, and when they are they don’t really seem to care what the two of them get up to. Plus, Taehyung’s bedroom door locks.
Tonight his parents aren't home.
They’re curled up on their sides kissing softly, and Hoseok really wants to hold Taehyung’s hand, but he settles for running his fingers through his hair.
Taehyung goes for a cheeky butt grab, and Hoseok whines, “you don’t have to do it every time, Tae.”
“Just making sure it’s still there.”
“I can assure you my ass is going nowhere.”
Taehyung doesn’t bother answering, goes back to kissing him. Hoseok can feel Taehyung trying to quicken the pace, can feel him nipping at his lower lip. He kisses back a little rougher, relishes in the way Taehyung shivers.
Taehyung pushes Hoseok onto his back, straddles his hips and goes back to kissing him.
Hoseok is brought back to the first time they did this, how sweet and almost innocent it felt. It doesn’t feel like that now. Taehyung isn’t hovering anymore, he’s sitting in Hoseok’s lap and kissing him hard. Hoseok’s head is swimming and he’s starting to get an idea of where this is going.
He breaks away from the kiss, “I’m guessing you don’t want to cuddle?”
Taehyung takes the break to trail kisses down Hoseok’s jaw and shit. It’s a lot.
“I feel close to you, hyung. I’m ready to get even closer.”
“Okay,” Hoseok manages, “what do you have in mind?”
He can feel Taehyung smile against his throat. He waits patiently for an answer, and is caught completely off guard when Taehyung shifts against him, grinding his crotch down on Hoseok’s - oh god, on Hoseok’s growing erection. Hoseok lets out a sharp breath and Taehyung goes back to kissing up his neck.
Hoseok wants this, his head is swimming and everything feels hot and he wants more, more kisses, more touches, more Taehyung. But not like this. It’s not as scary as sex, but he cares about Taehyung - and he can’t do this anymore. This game of pretend is hurting him more than anything, and he can’t give more of himself away for something so shallow.
“Stop.”
Taehyung stops grinding immediately, and a part of Hoseok is very unhappy with that. Mostly he’s just terrified of what comes next.
Taehyung leans back, sitting on Hoseok’s thighs. He’s breathing heavy and his eyes are dark, but mostly he looks concerned. “Hyung? Is something - did I…”
Hoseok lets out a shaky breath, runs his hands down his face. He can’t be a coward about this.
“I can’t - I can’t do this Tae.”
Taehyung’s face goes carefully blank, and it hurts Hoseok more than he expects. “Okay.”
Taehyung moves to get off of Hoseok, and Hoseok isn’t sure what to say, struggles to find words. Finally, “Don’t you want to know why?”
Taehyung is sitting on the edge of the bed, not looking at Hoseok. Hoseok watches his shoulders lift in a shrug, “pretty obvious that it’s me.”
Hoseok laughs at that, which is pretty inappropriate all things considered. He chalks it up to the nerves. “Yeah, no.”
Taehyung turns to look at him, face still blank. “Sure.”
Hoseok sighs again, “I’ve had a crush on you since math last year.”
Taehyung’s face scrunches, “you won’t fuck me because you like me?”
Hoseok can feel his jaw drop. That’s not what he was expecting. “That’s actually my less embarrassing confession, but really? Not even a little surprised?”
Taehyung shrugs, “I’m a little too emotionally compromised to process the surprise right now.” He picks at a piece of fluff on his duvet, “I like you too, for what it’s worth.”
Hoseok definitely wasn’t expecting this. He really doesn’t know how to proceed. Figured that was about as far as things would go before Taehyung asked him to leave.
“Really?” Taehyung nods. “Why didn’t you just ask me out?”
Taehyung glares at him, “why didn’t you?”
That’s fair. “Was it really easier to ask me to have sex with you than to ask me to be your boyfriend?”
“We’ve all got hormones, hyung. Not all of us have feelings for me.”
“Impossible,” Hoseok starts, “you’re great.”
Taehyung rolls his eyes and gives him the closest thing to a genuine smile he’s seen since they stopped kissing.
“So you didn’t want to go any further because we weren’t dating? Because we’ve basically been dating anyways.”
Hoseok can feel his face going red. “Uh, that’s part of it.”
Taehyung raises an eyebrow, “and the other part?”
This is it, he can do this. “Imaybedon’thaveanyexperience.”
Taehyung’s head tilts as he tries to process the rushed words. “... one more time?”
Hoseok takes a deep breath, decides on a slightly different approach and looks Taehyung straight in the eyes. “You were my first kiss.”
Taehyung’s eyes go wide, and then he’s punching Hoseok lightly in the ribs, “you liar!”
Hoseok whines, “what was I supposed to say? ‘Sorry Taehyung, I can’t actually help you because I have no clue what I’m doing either. Good luck finding someone else, though. I’ll just be over here, pining in silence’”.
When he meets Taehyung’s eyes again, he looks - almost scared. Hoseok’s about to ask when Taehyung is flopping down on top of him, hugging him tightly.
“You must’ve been so nervous. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to pressure you. Oh shit, I basically forced you to kiss me. Hyung that’s so bad. Why didn’t you say anything?”
Hoseok relaxes into Taehyung’s arms, can almost hear Namjoon and Yoongi whispering I-told-you-so’s. “No, I definitely wanted to kiss you. That was never an issue. And it’s not your fault. I should’ve just told you,” Hoseok reassures, and can’t help but add “‘We can start slow, like bj’s,’” in a terrible imitation of Taehyung’s voice.
Taehyung whines into his shoulder, “I’m such a dick.” Hoseok laughs, rubs a soothing hand between Taehyung’s shoulder blades.
“How were you supposed to know? I’m very convincing.”
“You really aren’t.”
“Hey. You didn’t know what was going on.”
Taehyung shifts up so he can look at Hoseok, “I just thought you were scared of messing stuff up, that you wanted me to make the first move because I was less experienced.”
“I tried to blackmail Namjoon into kissing me so I’d have at least a little experience.”
Taehyung’s face goes soft, like he’s seen a puppy. “You were going to kiss Namjoon for me? That’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.”
Hoseok nods, “didn’t go through with it. He had too much lip, it would’ve confused me.”
Taehyung hums, “I can’t say I mind being your first kiss. Now that I know I didn’t force it on you - christ, hyung. You’ve gotta talk to me from now on, okay?”
Hoseok thinks about responding, but Taehyung’s face is so close. All the anxiety and stress he’s been feeling about this whole situation is gone, and he knows what he wants. He leans in and kisses Taehyung’s nose softly, lips stretching into a smile as he hears and feels Taehyung laugh.
“Will you be my boyfriend, Tae?”
Taehyung shifts so they’re nose to nose, and Hoseok feels more than sees him nod a yes. His heart feels impossibly warm.
“Can we take this for real slow though?” He tries to hide the nervousness in his voice. Taehyung leans back a little, places a kiss on his forehead. Hoseok sighs softly.
“Of course.” Hoseok smiles, but then he feels Taehyung’s body go stiff.
“Tae? What is it? What’s wrong?”
“We can definitely go slow, that’s no problem… but I can still grab your butt, right?”
Hoseok tries and fails not to roll his eyes, pulls Taehyung in just a little bit closer. “‘Course Tae, what do you think it’s there for?”