Chapter Text
Love Yourself promoting campaign was exhausting.
The group had packed schedules and very few "Me" Time. So when the boys went home for Chuseok everyone enjoyed the well earned rest at its fullest.
Hoseok had spent a couple of days at his parents home and finally took 8 hours nights. As his last holiday morning showed up, he started packing, his flight was scheduled late in the afternoon.
He proceeded to put every cloth neatly folded in the suitcase and remembered wanting to bring back some old clothes as he had outfit ideas with them.
His mother proceeded to guide him through the attic, the young man quickly found what he wanted but they spent searching and digging up old memories until noon. Hoseok's mother went to the kitchen to prepare lunch and left him to open everything saying she would clean everything up.
J-Hope was having lots of fun, opening another cardboard box to discover another part of his family's life. But this time, he unsealed a box with his name, it contained all his stuffies, toys and baby stuff.
He took out everything and couldn't help himself but coo at every object, trying to associate it to his memories : His beloved police toy car that went with him to the hospital when he was 4, the dragon figure that attacked so many of his sister's princess castles...
When he found Him.
His Blankie, a huge beautiful bunny plush with Hoseok embroided on the ears.
It was full of dust and smelled bad but it filled the dancer with glee and warmth.
Suddenly, he craved being a child, he dearly wanted to have nothing to worry about, he wanted to be 5 and not have to face the crowd, the choregraphy practices (even tho he deeply loved to dance) or the never-ending english interviews.
But he couldn't, not now, not here, he thought about all the happy things that awaited him when he would come back to the dorm to repress himself from slipping to his Little side.
He took his blankie and discretly stuffed it in his suitcase. "I cant leave him alone again" he had persuaded himself.
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Hoseok knew about his Little side for a few months.
He slipped only once.
He was more than overwhelmed, the stress of the comeback, the recordings, the 12-hours long practices and 4-hours nights had him gone mad.
He went back to the dorm, exhausted, he had stayed at the studio to work on his mixtape and told the others to get dinner without him.
The dancer threw his duffel bag on his bed and went to have a shower, half-way he felt the stress crushing him, and started to cry and yell, he got out of the shower, wet through clutching his hair and planting his nails in his scalp. He couldn't stop crying and whimper. He sat all naked on his bed and tried his best to calm himself, when he saw in one corner of the room, a dog plush that was offered to Jungkook by a fan. He approached and took it , when he accidentally squeezed the paw and the plushie started to wriggle and sing a lullaby, Hoseok stepped back, but the melody suddenly remembered him what his mother used to sing to put him to bed.
His cries got quieter as he hugged the stuffie tight in his arms and all his worries seemed to disappear, he forgot them.
Here he was, he felt like being a 5 years old, he dried his tears as he coulnd't remember why he was crying in the first place.
He felt cold, being still wet from his shower and went to wind something to put on, he stumbled as he walked to the closet, still holding the plush but managed to stand. It was so hard to walk with such long legs ! He felt like a tightrope walker.
The boy was rummaging into the shared drawers. His eyes sparkled when he saw a baby blue fluffly sweater in Jimin aisle, he took it and snuggled himself into it. He managed to grab a trunk from a box and put it on clumsily. He tottered back to his bed feeling better and sleepy and rolled himself up his blankets, giggling happily and he unconsciously brought his thumb to his mouth. He had put the singing plushie to the side of his bed and squeezed it one last time. He fell asleep feeling happy and relieved, The next day when he woke up and realised what happened, he felt shame torturing him. He though it was a dream as the plushie was nowhere to be seen. (it fell under the bed in the night)
But Jimin had asked him why there was water everywhere and why the hell did he took one his favourite sweater, he panicked as he realised it wasn't a dream and managed to lie with a missed phone call story. _________________________________
When he got aware of his genuine interest in children toys and activities, he tried his hardest to supress it.
He thought he was sick, that he was a weirdo and if anyone found out they would denounde him and he would be kicked out of the band.
He feared it and didn't want to make any research about it.
No One had to know.