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Luke was not going to answer the phone.
He was not going to take away any more precious time that he could be spending sleeping that he already was to answer the phone at 2:57 am.
He didn’t care how many times whoever it was called; he was just going to let it ring and ring and-
“What the fuck do you want?” Luke said into his cell. Admittedly, he’d never been one to have very high willpower.
“Jesus, do you always answer the phone like that? You’re gonna have a hard time making a lot of friends, kid,” a man’s deep voice that Luke didn’t recognize responded.
Luke could hear loud music, maybe country, playing in the background over the din of a loud crowd. Pulling the phone away from his ear, Luke looked at the number calling, but it wasn’t anybody in his contacts. Putting the phone back to his ear, he asked, “Who is this?”
“Are you Luke?” the deep voice asked, ignoring Luke’s question.
Call at 3 am. Unknown number. Knows his name already. Sounds like the opening to a really cheesy horror film , Luke thought to himself. Which was lame because the blondes always got killed off first. Luke shook his head and tried to make his thoughts focus on the phone call again. “Um, yeah? How do you know my name? And who are you?”
“The name’s Pete, but that’s not important. A guy here asked if I could call you and get you to come down here. Being the great guy that I am, I obliged.”
Luke tried to process what the man was saying, but his brain couldn’t work this early in the morning. “Here? Where is here? Why is somebody asking for me? I don’t-”
“ What did you say your name was again?” the man asked somebody in wherever he was at. Then, speaking to Luke again, he said, “Guy’s name is-”
He was cut off by a voice suddenly breaking away from the crowd on the other line: “Luuuukey!!!” More words followed, but Luke didn’t hear it over his excessively loud sigh. Laughter erupted in Luke’s ear from the man.
“You’re friend is a riot. Don’t know how he ended up with the likes of somebody so rude.”
Okay, Luke had to admit that being called rude at 3am by some stranger hurt a lot. “Where did you say you were?”
“Pete’s Sports & Beer. 2340 West Central Avenue.”
Why the hell would he be there? “Great. Thanks. Uh, don’t let him leave.”
The man muttered a “whatever” and the line went dead. Luke dropped his phone on the ground and let out another one the world’s most annoyed sighs.
x
Ten minutes later, Luke parked his old Camry at the address the bartender had given him-a rundown little building with a LED sign of a pig wearing a baseball hat that said PETE’S and holding an arrow pointing to the door. Following the pig’s directions, Luke walked to the door and stepped in.
Loosely described, the place was a sports bar. The area was dimly lit with a raised platform in the back like a stage and a raised countertop lined with tall stools on the right. Circular tables were pushed off to the side to make an area to dance. Flat screens covered most of the otherwise bare walls, but most were turned off. Instead of the area being filled with guys, chicken wings, beer, and waitresses wearing little to no clothing, the only people were middle aged men and women that looked like they’d just come from a cubicle. A few people were attempting some kind of line dance in the small dance area, but most were surrounded around the bar.
Well, most were surrounded one central stool at the bar. Luke could only guess who was sitting in the middle, just adoring all the attention he was getting.
A single cry went up from the middle of crowd: “HE’S HERE!!!” The middle aged office workers parted and a younger guy all but fell as he reached Luke. Managing to catch him in his arms, Luke pulled Ashton to his feet. Ashton, in return, clung to Luke for a long minute before whispering in his ear, “Hi, Lukey.” His warmth breath stank of alcohol.
Ashton dragged Luke back to the center of the crowd and announced, “Everybody, this is Luke. He is, like, the best! You’ll love him!” Ashton paused, puffed out his pink cheeks, and let a breath out as his eyes grew wide. “Oh! Luke, this is… uh, everybody, yeah? Tell Luke your names, guys!” One by one, each member of the crowd told Luke his or her name, favorite color (upon Ashton’s insistence), and how much he or she liked to come to karaoke night (also upon Ashton’s insistence).
After that, Ashton pulled Luke over to Pete, who said hello to Luke with only a slight hint of annoyance that Ashton didn’t pick up on.
Ashton slammed his hands on the bar and said, “Dammit, get me a drink!” He giggled before saying, “Just kidding.” Excited, he turned to Luke. “I’ve always wanted to do that!” He turned back to Pete. “I will have, um, anything with lots of vodka in it!”
Pete pointed to three shot glasses full of some purple liquid next to a large group of empty ones. “You still haven’t finished the other ones, kid.”
Ashton reached over for the shot glasses, drank one right after another, and then smiled and Luke. His whole mouth was dyed a deep purple. “Luke,” Ashton said after he managed to hold down the liquor, “will have a couple of those purple things!”
Luke pulled on Ashton’s sleeve, making him jump and turn towards him. “Ashton, I’m only-”
“Oh, shit! I forgot you were just a baby still!” Ashton smiled, ruffled Luke’s hair, and sprang off to talk with his friends again.
Luke tried to ignore Ashton’s comment, but when he turned to Pete, he found him smiling. Quickly, Luke decided he better stay on Pete’s better side on account of the fact that the guy had ripped arms that could easily break Luke in half. “How long has he been here?” Luke asked Pete, reluctantly stepping closer to him.
Pete grabbed a towel and an empty beer cup. “Since about 10. Karaoke night is usually over around 11 when all the oldies leave, but the kid showed up and has kept them going ever since. Never seen somebody that young hold down that much liquor.”
“You didn’t think about, I don’t know, trying to stop him?”
“Not my business. Kid said he had somebody coming to get him when he walked in. Already drunk. That’s good enough for me.”
Luke searched for Ashton and found him rocking back and forth on a stool, waving his arms around wildly as he told a story. What had happened that made him do this? It couldn’t have been because he’d recently turned 21 few months ago--Ashton had gotten so shit-faced that night with Michael, Calum, and Luke, he swore the next morning he never wanted to drink again.
“I’m not supposed to let minors in the bar area,” Pete said, drawing Luke’s thoughts away from Ashton. “But, there ain't anybody here to make me. Just don’t drink anything.”
“Thanks,” Luke said as he walked towards Ashton. He grabbed him by the arm and spoke in his ear so he would hear him: “I need to talk to you.” Ashton pulled away and pouted for a second before remembering the Luke was supposed to be ‘the best’. He stumbled off his stool and followed Luke to a quiet area by the stage.
“What. Is. Up,” Ashton said, pronouncing each word delicately.
Luke gripped Ashton’s arm as he started to sway to the right a little. “What the fuck happened, Ashton? You got drunk some other place and got all these working people shit-faced?”
Ashton frowned, obviously upset that Luke sounded so angry. “Are-are you mad?” His voice was soft and quiet.
Luke sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “No, I mean-fuck. Yeah, Ash. Why the hell are you here? Why the hell were you at the other place?”
Staring at the wall behind Luke, Ashton’s eyebrows scrunched together in concentration. “I can’t remember.” Ashton paused for a moment. “I’m sorry, Lukey. We don’t have to stay much longer. They’re just having the last round of karaoke soon, and it’s just me and Ronda from marketing left. We can leave after that.”
All Luke felt like doing was punching a wall, but he wasn’t sure why all this anger was suddenly surfacing. He took a deep breath and let it out after a 5-count. “After that we leave, okay?”
Ashton broke out into a purple smile, and grabbed Luke’s hands. “Yay! We leave after karaoke!”
Before Ashton could run off again, Luke gripped his arm. “No more shots.” Ashton pouted a little. “And where did you go before you came here?”
Ashton shifted his feet. “I don’t know, some club. There were a lot of people and it looked loud.” He laughed and added, “I was in the ‘back room’ for a while. Then I got bored. I didn’t really like the girl. Or any of the girls they had. Or girls in general.” Ashton looked up at Luke, his full cheeks pink, his curly hair falling across his forehead unevenly, his eyes wide. Luke didn’t want Ashton to tell him whatever he was about to. He wasn’t sure sober Ashton would want whatever it was to come out yet. He wanted to let Ashton just get more drunk if it meant he would keep his secrets to himself. Luke wanted stop Ashton, but he let him go on anyways. He paused. “I’ve never really liked girls all that much.” It was too late now. Luke could only hope that Ashton was so drunk he wouldn’t remember saying anything. But Ashton wasn’t done talking. “Like that girl in the music place who asked me out and I said no because you were my boyfriend. I’ve actually liked you for a long time. Since we met. Not like big brother or whatever like. The other like. Like Like , you know? The good like.” Ashton smiled shyly, meeting Luke’s eyes. “I just didn’t know how to tell you, so I’m telling you now.”
Somebody called Ashton’s name, but Luke didn’t hear anything besides Ashton’s words reverberating in his head. Ashton’s arm slipped out of Luke’s now loose grip and he smiled at Luke before heading off to the stage. Luke stared off into the distance, trying to process what had happened. When Ashton had started talking about how he didn’t like the girls or girls at all, Luke assumed he’d tell Luke that he was gay (which wasn’t really that big of a surprise because Michael and Calum had guessed a while ago). But he went further. “ I’ve actually liked you for a long time. Since we met.”
Luke’s eyes caught movement and he saw Ashton climbing up to the stage with a petite, red-headed woman. He was still swaying a bit, but otherwise, he seemed generally unaffected by all the liquor he’d consumed. Slow music started up, and Luke pointed to Ashton. With his words only slightly slurred, he shouted, “This one goes out to my best guy!” He then proceeded to wink twice at Luke before the lyrics started up:
I thought that dreams belonged to other men
Cause each time I got close
They'd fall apart again
Suddenly all the moments with Ashton had new meanings.
I feared my heart would beat in secrecy
Suddenly, Ashton is providing the blanket and movie so they could cuddle.
I faced the nights alone
Suddenly, Ashton is opening the door to Luke’s bedroom and crawling into bed with him.
Oh, how could I have known
Suddenly, Ashton is telling Michael and Calum they couldn’t come to dinner with them.
That all my life I only needed you
Suddenly, Ashton is telling which shirt Luke should wear because it was his favorite.
Whoa-oh
Almost paradise
We're knocking on Heaven's door
Almost paradise
How could we ask for more?
I swear that I can see forever in your eyes
Paradise
Yeah, it's paradise
Suddenly, it isn’t only Ashton doing things; Luke is just as much part of it as him.
It seems like perfect love's so hard to find
I'd almost given up
Suddenly, Luke is buying vegemite everytime they go to the store because it’s Ashton’s favorite.
You must've read my mind
And all these dreams I saved for a rainy day
Suddenly, Luke is giving Ashton shoulder and back rubs at night.
They're finally comin' true
You know I'll share them all with you
Suddenly, Luke is playing nurse for Ashton when he gets sick.
Cause now we hold the future in our hands
Suddenly, Luke is surprising Ashton by bringing him breakfast in bed
Whoa-oh
Almost paradise
We're knocking on Heaven's door
Almost paradise
How could we ask for more?
I swear that I can see forever in your eyes
Paradise
It's paradise
And in your arms salvation's not so far away
Suddenly, nothing is the same anymore.
We're getting closer, closer every day
Almost paradise
We're knocking on Heaven's door
Almost paradise
How could we ask for more?
I swear that I can see forever in your eyes
Paradise
It's paradise
Paradise
It's paradise
Paradise
Ashton and Ronda finished singing, and Luke knew Ashton blew her out of the water. The audience applauded loudly as they stumbled off the stage. Luke caught Ashton before he could hit the floor and pulled him up.
Ashton smiled and said, “We really gotta stop meeting like this.”
Luke could smell the alcohol on Ashton’s breath and realized how incredibly close they were. He only had to lean forward a couple inches and their lips would connect and they would-
Letting go of Ashton’s arm, Luke stepped back. “Come on. I’m getting you out of here.”
“But my karaoke award.” Ashton stuck his lip out at Luke, but Luke glared back at him.
“We’re leaving.”
Ashton must have caught on to Luke’s tone because he softly said, “okay” before turning his eyes to the ground. Luke let Ashton say goodbye to his new friends and then physically pulled him out of the bar.
When they got in the car and Luke started to drive away, Ashton quietly spoke up, “Are you mad at me, Lukey?’’
Luke’s hands tightened on the steering wheel and he stared out the windshield at the nearly 4am city lights. “No, Ashton. I’m not mad at you.”
x
In the ten minutes it took to drive from the sports bar back to the hotel they were staying at, Ashton passed out out, leaving Luke with the task of carrying the heavy boy to his room. The sun was starting to rise when Luke finally extracted the boy from his Camry. He had decided that the only way was bridal-style, so Ashton was laying across Luke’s arms with Ashton’s head nestled in his shoulder. At this point in the morning, Luke was so drained that he didn’t even care if anybody saw them; he just wanted to lie down in a warm bed.
Once Luke made it in the lobby, up the elevator, and into his room, he carried Ashton, who was growing heavier by the minute, into the bathroom. Gently, he set him down in the tub and went to go find a spare blanket and pillow. Luke returned to the bathroom to find that Ashton had curled up into a ball so he fit better in the tub. Luke placed the pillow under his head and spread the blanket over his bundled body. Turning off the light, Luke shut the door and proceeded to collapse into his own bed finally. Despite his thoughts still running a thousand miles and hour, Luke found sleep was easy to come by.
x
Only three hours later, Luke’s body decided it was now much too bright outside at 8 am to continue sleeping. Luke briefly remembered pulling the curtains shut tight before collapsing in bed, but a single stream of light had made it right into his eyes nonetheless. He rolled over and dragged his rumpled body to the bathroom. Still curled up in the tub was Ashton, his hair plastered to his forehead with sweat. Luke nudged him with his foot, but the older boy didn’t stir. After many more attempts (one, to be exact), Luke simply reached over and turned the cold water on.
As Luke left to go make some coffee in the kitchen, he heard a loud thud of a body hitting bathroom tile and an excessively long string of curse words. Luke chose to continue making his coffee-replacing the old grains, dumping out yesterday's stale coffee for water from the tap, searching relentlessly for the little hotel creamers he knew Ashton loved so much.
When Luke looked up, a dripping figure was emerging from the bathroom. “Was that necessary?” Ashton asked.
Luke turned away to find two coffee cups. “There are some dry clothes on the bed.”
Ashton looked from Luke to the pile of clothes that was indeed on the bed before grabbing them and heading back into the bathroom.
After a few moments, Ashton walked out of the bathroom wearing Luke’s sweatpants and favourite blink-182 shirt. As Luke filled two coffee mugs, Ashton hesitantly made his way to the small table near the kitchen. Luke set a cup down in front of Ashton and took a seat himself.
“Three creamer, three sugar,” Luke said as he took a sip.
Ashton reached for the coffee and held it for a moment. “Thanks,” he said quietly, looking up at Luke, who nodded his head in return. “What time did we get here?”
“Around 5. It’s 8:30 now.” Luke tried to look anywhere that wasn’t Ashton, but he was having difficulty.
“You only slept for 3 and a half hours?”
Luke’s willpower essentially crumbled and he looked at Ashton. “ You only slept for 3 and a half hours. I had been sleeping when you called.”
“Shit. Seriously, sorry about that-I don’t know what…” He set his head down on the table with a sigh. “I feel like shit.”
“You look like shit.”
Luke saw Ashton smile a little. “You are a ray of sunshine in my storm clouds, Lukey.”
“Anyways, what the hell actually happened?”
Ashton breathed out another deep sigh. “Honestly, I’m not sure. I think I was checking out that music store you pointed out, but then I left and I was walking back. There was this club and i just remember being so upset, but I can’t remember why. All I knew was that getting shit-faced would fix it. So I went in the club. I don’t even remember anything that happened in the club or going from the club to the pub. Then you showed up and-oh, god, did I do karaoke?” Ashton groaned.
“You won with Almost Paradise .”
“Fuck, you let me get on stage for a Mike Reno song?”
Luke held up his hands. “You insisted.”
Ashton picked his head up enough to take a long drink of coffee. “I’m never doing that again. Ever.”
“You said that last time you got that drunk.” Luke stood then, and he noticed how Ashton’s hazel eyes followed his movements. “I’m going to go find you some greasy food. Make sure you don’t throw on the carpet or anything because the manager got mad at Michael last time that happened.”
“You’re... leaving?” Ashton asked innocently.
Luke searched around the bed for his red flannel for a moment. “I’ll be back. Just sleep or something. It won’t be that long.” After finding his flannel, he pulled on his worn Vans. He headed for the door as Ashton continued to watch him.
As Luke opened the door, Ashton called, “Will you promise not to wake me with ice cold water?”
Luke looked over his shoulder and smiled. “I don’t make promises I can’t keep.” He saw Ashton smile slightly before he gently closed the door.
x
When Luke returned in half an hour, arms full of fast food from 3 different restaurants, Ashton was wrapped in the blanket Luke had slept with the previous night. His head perked up a little when Luke closed the door.
“You weren’t really sleeping,” Luke observed as he set the 5 bags of food down on the kitchen table.
Ashton pulled the blanket around his shoulders as he made his way to the table. “Busted. I just wanted whatever blanket you had used last night because it’d still be warm.” He reached for one of the bags, but Luke swatted his hand away. Pouting for a second, he started to ask, “Did you get”-
“Yes, I got the pancakes. Three orders of them actually.”
Ashton sat down as Luke started pulling out the food. “You truly are the best.”
“You said something along those lines last night,” Luke said as he placed the pancakes in front of Ashton. And more , he thought to himself.
Luke watched as Ashton took a huge bite out of the first pancaked before responding. “Did I?”
“When you were introducing me to your friends from the office.”
Ashton stared at him. “I was hanging out with office workers.”
“You were their king. They adored you.” Luke reached for Ashton’s hand to show him the smeared phone number. “I wouldn’t call that number, if I were you.”
Ashton finished off the first pancake as Luke unwrapped a breakfast burrito from McInedible. “Do not breathe a word of this to Mikey or Calum. They would never leave me alone.” He opened another pancake order and reached for a bag of Wendy’s fries. Grabbing a handful, he began to top his syrup-soaked pancake with the fries.
“That,” Luke pointed his fork at the pancake-and-fries, “is disgusting.” Ashton kept his eyes on Luke as he put a piece in his mouth and began to chew. “ You are disgusting, actually.” Luke threw a french fry at Ashton, who caught it in his mouth and chewed it with a smile.
Ashton laughed and cut off another piece. “So, did I do anything else worth mentioning?”
Yeah, you told me about how you actually don’t like girls, which wasn’t that big of a surprise, and that you’ve harbored a secret crush on me since we met, which completely threw me. God, how he wanted to take the weight off of his chest. But he couldn’t. It wasn’t supposed to be Luke’s secret. Not yet at least. “Not really,” he said, trying to sound casual, but failing.
Ashton, despite being hungover, caught his tone and immediately knew he was lying. He looked as if he wanted to press farther, but resisted for whatever reason. He stared at Luke far too intently for his comfort level before quickly changing the subject by asking, “Hey, how many of those-Oh, shit! I remember why I was upset now!” He set his fork down, and looked at Luke with big eyes. “I was at the music store, and there was this girl, probably your age. She was kinda following me around the store and she kept staring at me. Finally, she stopped me and started talking to me. She asked me out to coffee, I think, but I said no. I said-I…” Ashton’s voice faltered.
Luke gave him a sad, knowing look. Here it comes.
Ashton’s eyes grew even bigger as realized what Luke had been holding back. “I- I told you?"
Luke couldn’t hold his stare. He looked at the table, and he knew it was a give away that Ashton was right. Ashton knew he was right.
Without saying anything, Ashton stood up and turned to walk away. “Ashton?” Luke called out. Ashton made no move to stop; he only continued to walk until he reached the bathroom and closed the door. Luke stood and headed for the bathroom. He put a hand on the closed door and spoke softly, “Ashton.” Silence answered him.
He tried the door handle and found it unlocked. When he entered the bathroom, he found Ashton laying in the tub, his head resting on the lip of one side, his long legs sticking out over the side. His face was turned up to the ceiling, his eyes focused on looking straight up.
“This,” he began, his voice full of emotion, “is the part where you tell me that you don’t have the same feelings as me and that you think it’d be best if one of us left the band because this would obviously cause issues and you are willing to ‘take one for the team’ and leave instead of me.”
Luke, without any hesitation, walked from the door to the bathtub, moved Ashton’s legs aside, and folded himself inside the tub. He brought his knees to his chin and watched Ashton glance at him before looking back up. “Why would I say any of that?”
Ashton scoffed. “Because it’s true and we both know it.”
Luke, none too softly, kicked Ashton in the leg then. Ashton reached for his leg and started to say, “What the”-
Luke cut him off. “I don’t know what fucking delusion you have in your mind, but that’s all it is: a delusion . You think everything that has ever happened between us was because of you? You think you’re the only one who inches closer so it’d be easy and a natural gesture to cuddle? You think you’re the only one who goes out to make sure that your favourite food is always in supply? You think you’re the only that makes those little remarks about how good I’m looking or how perfect my hair is pulled back in a bandana? You think you’re the only one that wants you to come into my room at night so I don’t feel lonely? You think you’re the only one who wishes that you could just take me in your arms at night and pull off my shirt and kiss me everywhere?”
Ashton had finally looked at Luke and he was now sitting up in the tub, his knees touching Luke’s as he pulled his legs in. “Luke, I-”
He wasn’t stopping though. He wasn’t done. “If you think all that, then you’re full of shit and lies, Irwin. All of that is bullshit. I want you to cuddle with me on the couch. I want to get whatever food you love so you are never without. I want to tell you how good you look wearing my favourite shirt and how good you hair looks in a bandana. I want you to come into my room and sleep in my bed. I want you to pick me up and carry me into the bedroom so we can make out and just fuck all night long. Why the hell is that too much to ask from you?”
Ashton, looking flabbergasted, hesitated only a moment before rising to step out of the bathtub. He reached down and picked up a shocked Luke in his arms. Expertly, he maneuvered them both out of the small bathroom and towards the bed, where he dropped Luke before climbing across him.
Lightly, Ashton pulled his lips across Luke’s collarbone and up his neck. He could feel the boy tense beneath him at first, but slowly his body relaxed and Ashton brought his lips to Luke’s own lips. A sensual explosion ached across Luke’s body and pulsing at all the places Ashton was touching Luke. When Ashton pulled back after a short moment, Luke was already breathing hard.
Laughing, Ashton moved to nibble on Luke’s ear. Ashton whispered, “All you had to do was ask, Lukey.”