Chapter Text
"One day Bucky, you and Nat are going to stop trying to set me up." Steve says, sweat soaked from what has to be at least a full 90 minutes on the treadmill. It's a shit grey and rainy day outside and neither Steve or Bucky are really up to running out there. They've had enough mud for a lifetime, they'd rather avoid it if they can.
They can, of course, because Stark has a heart of gold and pockets to match.
"That's because you don't got the guts to ask anyone on your own," Bucky retorts with a snort.
"I've got plenty of guts," Steve rolls his eyes and wipes his face with a towel.
"Most of the time. Jump out of airplanes, sure. Ask a girl out, hell no. I don't get it, most a woman is going to say no. What you got guts about is the things that can kill you." Bucky nods his head towards some of the free weights, "Give me a spot, will ya?" You still got to work the living arm, still got to make sure it can work on it’s own and not just rely on the mechanics. Everything’s still got to work.
"It's not about the no, not anymore, not really. When we were kids, yeah, the rejection was pretty high on why I didn't go for it," Steve says, "It's about what comes after. What happens next."
"What, falling for someone?" Bucky scoffs, "Are you listening too much to Tasha and her blasé pessimism about relationships? Look, she's wrong." And it hurts that she's wrong and that she holds onto those beliefs. Maybe someday someone is going to break through to her again. He doesn't hold his breath that it's going to be him, though. One thing Bucky's learned, it's that time is never on his side. "She's wrong. Love is a debt you pay back with grief."
"Right, that makes it sound a lot better." Steve starts to shut down into himself, his eyes turning dark, "I've done my share of grief, Bucky."
"It's not a finite thing," but he knows Steve is thinking of Peggy, of taking that closer step just too late for it to be any good. She's still alive, old and well-loved in a nursing home, but it might as well be an impenetrable wall for Steve. "We've always got more." Bucky says, though it dies a little on his lips.
Steve looks at him strangely, a look Bucky just doesn't understand and can't read, “Love or grief?” he shakes his head, and when he looks back up, it’s the same Steve who can rile him up like no one else, "Who is Nat suggesting this time?"
"Well, she still thinks the girl from accounting is a good bet for you." Bucky lofts, "Although, the amount of women she'd like parade around you is longer than I thought. Like there's that many women that are...." In the space of Bucky's breath as he lifts, Steve's head snaps to the door, tracking the path of the people who just entered.
Oh. He feels his heart fall just a little bit. “....Anywhere near good enough for you, asshole.” he finishes, but the bluster is gone from the words.
Bucky really doubts that Steve has any sort of intentions on Jane, so it has to be Darcy that catches his eye. Darcy’s been around the past couple of weeks, summer break, she said over a group dinner when she and Jane came into town. Bucky’s never loved the summer more, because Darcy wears cut-off shorts that show a lot of thigh, and loose tops that don’t really hide her chest as much as she probably thinks it does, and from the few conversations they’ve had, she doesn’t take any shit.
Of course Steve’s a little sweet on her, of course he is.
Bucky doesn’t actually get to meet too many women these days, and even fewer that aren’t intimidated by his past. Or strangely attracted to it in a way that screams unhealthy attachment. He doesn’t need a woman in his life, doesn’t need that sort of complication when he’s just getting his head back to himself. But nothings wrong with a little wanting, a little something to think about at night when the air conditioner switches on too suddenly and the cold air hits him.
He sets the weights back down, because Steve isn’t even paying a fraction of attention to spotting.
“Hey, you guys seen Thor around?” Darcy calls out from the other side of the room, her face a bright beacon of amusement, poking at Jane, “They got separated, and if we don’t distract Jane, she’s going to fall into a lab and never come out.”
“Darcy!” Jane objects, a little too loud for it not to be the truth.
“Not in here, no,” Bucky answers because Steve is too busy trying to figure out how to get noises to come out of his mouth, like the big dumb idiot he actually is around women that he likes. At least when he’s quiet his mouth can’t get him in trouble. “You could ask JARVIS.”
“That seals it,” Darcy rolls her eyes, “We’re idiots, Jane. We didn’t ask the disembodied AI.”
“JARVIS,” Jane says, a slow blush colors her cheeks and complements her stubborn set jawline, “Is Thor in the tower?”
Jarvis answers her from a speaker closer to her, as the women walk their way back out.
Darcy turns her head, looking back at both of them. Her lips curve into a smile and her eyes dart up and down over them in a frank appreciative once over. “Glad we came in though, wonderful view.” she says, her eyebrow reaching for her hairline.
She’s gone before either of them can say anything back.
Bucky’s no stranger to desire, no stranger to a beautiful woman who flirts and smiles, expecting nothing but a flirt and a smile back, but welcoming more. He can find someone else, someday. Maybe someday Natasha will be more willing for something more than an understanding friendship. Bucky has at least that much of the past still with him, something still good and pleasant.
But Steve? Steve has him. Steve should have more than a busted friend who has had his thoughts rearranged. Steve should have this, should have someone he can hold onto.
“You want us to stop trying to set you up?” Bucky says, “There’s an easy way to make us stop. Bet you don’t have the guts to ask her out though.”
“Buck….”
“Bet you can’t.” He shuts down Steve’s attempt to regain control over this conversation, and Bucky watches as Steve starts pushing away the roadblocks in his head.
“I can take that bet,” he says in a much quieter voice than usual.