Chapter Text
“What the fuck am I doing here.”
The complaint is grumbled out as a grimace stretches across Jaebum’s face, hands moving to slam the locker door in front of him shut, yanking up the zipper of his required uniform but opting to leave the upper half of the navy blue jumpsuit hanging off his hips, the wife beater he wore underneath his normal attire now exposed.
His question goes unanswered.
Which is to be expected, seeing as he’s the only one in the small employee locker room right now.
It was all his own damn fault, too.
The heavy set of denial weighs down on Jaebum’s broad shoulders as he moves across the room in annoyance, grabbing ahold of the items he would need for his shift tonight.
The large empty trash bin.
The cart holding a multitude of cleaning supplies and restock material.
Jaebum was only on day two of his janitorial duty for the college but his lingering bitterness was currently leading him to reconsidering the option of just serving jail time.
Okay, yeah, that was a dramatic thought but he really didn’t want to be here right now.
That same thought only irks Jaebum’s sour attitude further, hands coming out to shove open the door and hold it there while pushing his obnoxiously large cargo through, expression showing how ready he is to get the entire thing over with.
All of it. Not just this one shift.
The hallways of the music department he is currently in are eerily quiet with the after hours now setting in, an occasional student or teacher having shown up to break the silence but otherwise it was one of the very few things that Jaebum could find relief in in regards to his community service hours he was putting in to avoid an actual sentence.
At least it was quiet.
The trash bag opens with a snap as Jaebum shakes it out, inhaling slowly and taking a moment to collect himself before beginning. He could get through this. It was only day two, but day three would happen, and then day four, day five, day six, and then each day would get easier and easier from here on out until Jaebum was done with however many hours they were requiring out of him.
It’ll be fine.
Jaebum chooses to ignore how he has a hard time believing himself.
*
It’s easy to find a rhythm once he begins cleaning, earbuds plugged into his ears and shuffling his music to help keep him focused, going from room to room and collecting trash, sweeping and dragging a mop across the tiled floors before shutting off the lights and closing the door behind him with a satisfying slam.
Knowing that each closed door was leading him closer and closer to the end of all of this was the little bit of encouragement that Jaebum needed.
And if the slams were getting more and more forceful as he went, then Jaebum’s just glad no one is around to acknowledge it or tell him to stop.
The music playing through his earbuds lingers in the back of his mind but Jaebum’s attention has drifted to his own thoughts now, frown marring his face further as he tries to ignore the persistent deep-settled thud within the depths of his chest. He knows what it is. Knows it’s the lingering’s of disappointment trying to crawl it’s way up his throat and spill out of him. It makes him a little nauseous.
Jaebum continues to swallow it down though, refusing to let it out just yet.
Not yet.
He knows he fucked up but he doesn’t want to acknowledge the severity just yet.
Jinyoung’s voice is practically ringing in his head now, the familiar scolding that his best friend had laid on him when finding out about what Jaebum did replaying once more. Its been nonstop, a broken record within the confines of Jaebum’s mind that he can’t turn off. The disappointment laced in his best friend’s words tied with the look of it in Jinyoung’s eyes only made it all the more smothering.
“What the hell were you thinking, Jaebum-hyung? Seriously? Are you actually trying to ruin your life now because that’s what its starting to look like. What has gotten into you lately—“
“I get it, Jinyoungie, okay? I fucked up. You don’t have to—“
“-- No. I think I do, actually. I do have to. This isn’t you.”
The same twitch in his brow that had appeared at Jinyoung’s words is there once more, and Jaebum inhales slowly and pauses his mopping to bring a hand up to rub at his face, mentally exhausted with his own mind. And how it just won’t stop--
“The Jaebum I grew up with had more common sense than this. He had more respect. For himself and for the things and people around him. You know better than this. You can do better than this. You are better than this.”
Was he, though?
Hands clench around the mop handle he’s still holding before Jaebum jerkily yanks it up to let the mop head fall heavily back into the bucket beside him, ignoring the water that splashes over the sides of it because he had filled it just a little too full.
“You’re going to do whatever the hell they tell you to do and then when this is all over, you’re going to get your shit together. Because I’m sick and tired of all of this. You’re going to wake up one day and regret all of this--”
“I know.”
Jaebum mumbles the words out loud, as if Jinyoung was standing in front of him now and saying all of it to his face again. He reaches for his cellphone pocketed away within his uniform for a quick distraction, peering at the time and noting how an hour and a half had already passed.
And luckily with the music hall there were only two floors – meaning he would be able to finish up at a decent time.
Jaebum’s first day had been in the Administration Building.
Where he had cleaned all four floors by himself.
Jaebum grabs at the mop once more and falls back into the repetitive routine of cleaning the floors and emptying the trash as he goes. The bathroom on the first floor had been saved for last, and if Jaebum had let out a few cries of terror at what was found within some of the stalls there, he was even more thankful for the lack of existence within the building now more than ever.
He had made pitiful sounds that even Jinyoung hadn’t heard before.
“Who even manages to do something like that—What the fu—“
This is ridiculous.
Jaebum feels ridiculous.
He can practically hear Jinyoung’s condescending laughter now, and he is shoving the tied up bag of trash into the bin with a huff, already planning out his best friend’s demise for somehow managing to crawl his way into Jaebum’s subconscious as well.
Finally –
One floor down. One more to go.
Jaebum moves to take the bin of trash to the dumpster outside, clearing it once more for whatever was upstairs and then putting away the cart as well as mop and bucket, knowing that the supply closet on the second floor would have the exact same items. Which, Jaebum was thankful for, because dragging all that shit up the flight of stairs was not something he would have been eager to do.
Jaebum’s shoes hit the tiles of the second floor with a squeak and he finds it mirroring how the first floor was. Seemingly empty and quiet, save the music still shrilling from his earbuds which now hung across his shoulders.
Finding the supply closet, the routine is repeated once more, save for the bin left at the bottom of the stairs that Jaebum would have to bring the collected trash to at the end. Jaebum’s pulling out the cleaning cart, filling the mop bucket up with a little too much water again, and it’s while he is shoving the dry mop head into the water that a low and faded sound of humming breaks the silence.
It’s like a scene straight out of those horrible horror movies that Mark has made him watch.
And first reaction Jaebum has to it is his heart lurching in his chest so hard he wonders if it would have been visible from the outside.
Why did it have to sound so creepy?
The low hum is coming from the end of the hallway, and there is a hint of hesitance tensing over him, a shiver breaking across Jaebum’s arms.
Had he been in the presence of anyone else, Jaebum would have attempted to save face and not look so obviously spooked – but he’s alone (or so he thought) and his eyes are widened just the slightest, staring at the doors down the way and wondering if he should just act like it didn’t happen or investigate it himself.
It’s not like it would be unheard of for someone to still be in the building.
The humming comes again after a moment of stretched silence, and now that Jabeum is listening for it, it sounds far less intimidating and he can feel his body immediately relax. His heart beat is still thumping heavily in his chest though, the minor heart attack lingering with the odd adrenaline the shock had given him.
Jaebum decides its best if he just does what he’s supposed to do and gets out as soon as possible.
Repetitive routine once more.
Eventually Jaebum finds his way to the last few classrooms, having chosen to close the doors to the others he had finished up quietly this time, not wanting to draw any attention to himself.
It seems that Cocky and Irritated ‘First Floor’ Jaebum had left the moment his heart almost jumped out his throat.
Just as Jaebum is about to move towards the classroom closest to his right, the humming comes back again for a third time, but it’s louder and Jaebum notes that it is coming from the classroom he had been going to – and then his feet are moving without much thought.
The room still had to be cleaned, didn’t it?
The set up of the room is similar to the others, the instruments within it the only difference. There are desks and chairs pushed off to one corner, and there is an array of keyboards spread out, some tucked away and others still set up as if they had just been used not too long ago. There is also a large grand piano directly in front of him but on the opposite side of the room, and Jaebum notices the lone figure sitting at the bench, their back turned to him. They are hunched over something, Jaebum is assuming some sort of work, and he remains quiet for a total of thirty seconds before audibly clearing his throat.
There is a shout of surprise suddenly breaking from the male, his body jolting and knees coming up as if his body was trying to curl in on itself only to bang against the underside of the piano. Jaebum flinches as if he feels the ache himself.
“Oh my god—you scared the crap out of me!”
The male has whipped around to look at him with wide eyes, a hand pressed to his chest as it heaves, and Jaebum quirks a brow in quiet amusement at the fact that he had scared the other. Seeing as it was him who had made Jaebum practically crawl out of his skin just earlier.
Or, Jaebum was assuming it was him.
…He’s hoping it was him.
“Sorry,” Jaebum responds although he doesn’t look or sound very apologetic.
The male doesn’t seem to mind though, wide eyes blinking before he is letting out a breath of relief, laughter following it. Jaebum watches as his whole demeanor seems to shift, going from scared shitless to realizing it was only the janitor.
The janitor.
Him.
Jaebum hated his life.
There is an awkward beat of silence that Jaebum completely misses due to his sudden mental brooding, but the other male suddenly looks a little unsure, moving on the bench to turn and face him completely.
“Did you need something?”
Jaebum blinks, holding back a snort.
Yeah. A fucking break.
“I need to clean the room,” He says instead.
Jaebum’s short response seems to click with the other and there is a sound of surprise as he moves quickly to stand up. The motion is hurried and awkward though, and the papers that the male had been focusing on are dropping to the floor and fluttering off in multiple directions. A flush finds the male’s cheeks as he apologizes out loud – Jaebum isn’t sure why since it wasn’t as if it was affecting him personally –
But Jaebum could only manage watching the mess for a few seconds longer before he is sighing and moving into the room fully, picking up the few pieces of paper that had landed in his direction. Jaebum’s gaze instinctively drops to look at the contents of what’s on it, brow quirking when he notes that it’s sheet music. Half-finished sheet music. There are erasure marks and faded smudges of mistakes or changed decisions all over it and something in the back of Jaebum’s mind can’t help but play out the melody in his head that the notes are showing him, the familiarity of them both comforting and nauseating at the same time.
Jaebum’s gaze lifts and looks up at the male again, who is now standing a few feet away from him and watching him with that same look of unsurety, the rest of his sheet music grasped in his hands and pressed against his shirt.
He looks like he is almost afraid to ask for them.
Wordlessly, Jaebum extends his hand and offers them back, watching as his gaze flickers from Jaebum’s face and then to the sheet music once more – and Jaebum swears he can actually see the male’s relief at the fact that Jaebum wasn’t doing… whatever he seemed to be afraid of him doing.
“Thanks,” The male gives him a shy smile, tucking the papers alongside the others.
And then…
There’s that awkward silence again.
“Uh—I… still gotta clean,” is Jaebum’s intelligent response, but he’s a little unsure of what to do with the situation now.
The male’s cheeks flush all over again and there is nervous laughter slipping from his lips. “Yes! Right! I’m sorry. God, I’m just embarrassing myself right now, aren’t I? I-I didn’t realize how much time had passed and got distracted with, uh, this--“ He motions to the sheet music, seemingly unaware of his babbling just yet, “Sometimes you just kind of get into that zone and forget about everything else around—“
Jaebum, on the other hand, is fully aware of the babbling.
“I didn’t mean to freak you out.” He cuts him off abruptly, hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck.
His subconscious – Jinyoung – is mocking him again. Jaebum can hear the snarky comments about his complete lack of tact.
“You’re totally fine! I kind of scare really easily anyway, so it’s not like it takes a lot.”
Jaebum doesn’t know why this conversation won’t just end.
Not that the other is annoying. He seems pretty nice, actually.
It was all just beginning to get a little cringe-worthy.
Although he might lack tact, Jaebum has always been able to be a quick thinker when the time called for it, and it only takes a second for him to finally put his hand up despite the male not talking anymore, but it gets his attention.
“I still have a couple more rooms I need to clean. How about I go do those and you can finish up in here. I can just save this room for last.”
There was an odd bit of guilt festering in his thoughts about breaking the male out of his zone. Especially with music. Jaebum knew from his own first hand experience how frustrating it could be to be pulled from that flow.
The other seems surprised by the offer, but then nods his head, silently agreeing to it.
Jaebum leaves without a word to avoid dragging anything out further.
*
He takes his time cleaning those last few rooms. He isn’t exactly sure why he’s trying to be so considerate of the other’s time – especially when it’s cutting into his own time too – but it’s when he’s finishing up with the first of the last three rooms that he hears the lull of the piano suddenly, the melody he had played in his head when he had peeked at the other’s sheet music now being played outwardly –
It’s much prettier to hear with his own ears, Jaebum can’t help but think to himself.
The playing continues as Jaebum cleans, his own music having been shut off in favor of listening to the male play the piano. It should be eerie how it manages to shift the entire mood of the atmosphere around him but Jaebum finds that it’s not. It feels like he’s greeting an old friend, the somberness of the song being played seeping into his own skin.
It’s peaceful for now.
It’s always that ‘for now’ that keeps Jaebum on his toes though, never knowing when that feeling will arise in him again.
He doesn’t want to feel the bitterness but he knows the longer he lets himself fall into the familiar warmth of music like this, it’s bound to rear its ugly head eventually.
And this song was a little too soft for Jaebum to want to feel such negative things towards.
So Jaebum is thankful when the playing finally stops, focus still directed on his cleaning until he’s tossing the now full trash bag next to the other from the first room.
Only one more room left.
When Jaebum enters again the male is humming once more to himself, pencil moving to scratch onto the sheet music but luckily he’s angled himself so that he actually sees Jaebum’s figure enter the room this time, saving the both of them from another awkward shock.
“All done?” The male asks, brow raised considerately as he moves to collect his things.
“Yeah. Just this one left.”
The male nods, taking the sheet music and setting it atop the grand piano before focusing his attention back onto Jaebum, who quirks a brow at the thoughtful expression the other is suddenly wearing.
“How about I help you?”
Jaebum is… caught off guard by that.
It probably shows on his face, if the male’s smile and laugh was enough of a giveaway.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I know I don’t have to, but I want to.”
Jaebum furrows his brow in confusion.
“Why?”
The male offers a simple shrug of his shoulders, “Do you really need a reason?”
Jaebum doesn’t bother with an answer, the confusion still evident on his face. Had it been him in the other’s shoes he would have been gone by now. The last thing he would have offered to do was help the janitor clean after hours when he could be out doing things he actually cares about.
The male laughs again, seemingly amused by their conversation now, and Jaebum would have found that irritating if the other didn’t seem so genuine right now.
“I messed up your whole thing and took up your time and I just—feel bad. So please. Let me help you clean so that we can both get out of here sooner rather than later.”
Jaebum has half the heart to remind the other that he was the one who had suggested he clean the other rooms – but he pushes it away and resigns with a simple nod instead, deciding that accepting a helping hand wouldn’t really hurt anyone. Especially not himself.
“Great! I’m Youngjae, by the way!”
“I’m—Jaebum. Im Jaebum.”
“Nice to meet you, Jaebum-ssi. Now—what do we do first?”
Youngjae seems eager to help for who really knows why and Jaebum lets a little chuckle slip.
“We collect the trash.”
*
Their time spent cleaning the room goes rather smoothly. It’s uneventful, and they don’t talk much, but Jaebum can feel more of an appreciation of Youngjae’s help when the other moves to sweep the room and take all the piled up trash bags down to the main bin at the bottom of the stairs while Jaebum finishes up mopping. Although it wouldn’t have taken him very long, it’s seemingly nothing with one extra body helping alongside him.
When they’re finished Jaebum waits as Youngjae picks up the rest of his things and throws the strap of his bag across his shoulders. Once he’s out of the room Jaebum flicks the light off and shuts the door.
There is a mental sigh of relief.
“That really wasn’t bad at all.” Youngjae comments, small smile quirked into the edge of his lips, as if he heard the sigh from Jaebum’s own head. If he didn’t know any better, the comment almost seemed teasing.
They didn’t know each other that well though, so Jaebum noted it but ultimately let it slide.
“That was one room. Try cleaning all of them.” He retorts back with a grumble while grabbing the cart and giving it a push, Youngjae taking ahold of the mop and bucket and following close behind.
Jaebum is already thinking about what he’s going to do when he’s done here—
And then he see’s it.
His feet immediately stop, that familiar squeak resounding through the hallway once more and Youngjae looks confused as he stops as well.
“What? Why are you making that face?” There is a bubble of laughter coming from the raven-haired boys throat that Jaebum, again, let’s slide before he drops his head back and lets out a filthy string of cuss words that even Youngjae flusters a bit at.
“The bathrooms.”
Brow raising, Youngjae turns to look towards the two bathroom doors in mention before putting two and two together. Jaebum gives him a narrow eyed look when it seems Youngjae has to stop himself from laughing again.
At Jaebum’s complete misfortune.
“C’mon—“ Youngjae shoots him a grin before moving forward, “I’ll take one and you take the other.”
Jaebum scoffs a little.
“I’m not going to make you clean the bathroom, Youngjae-ya.”
The sudden shift in honorifics on his own part makes Jaebum pause, surprised at how easily and casually it had slipped. He hadn’t even been thinking about it. Youngjae’s brow is raised but it’s not clear if it’s in response to Jaebum’s comment or the honorific, but the other doesn’t seem bothered. If anything – again – he seems amused at Jaebum’s misfortune.
Another slide.
How many is that now?
“It’s fine. Seriously. I really don’t mind.” That eagerness is there again. Jaebum still isn’t entirely sure why.
A heavy sigh breaks from his chest and Jaebum gives in once more. No words are needed, Youngjae seeing the metaphorical white flag thrown on Jaebum’s part and grinning before choosing the women’s bathroom to clean.
Opening the door to the men’s bathroom there is a sense of relief when Jaebum notes it’s a single.
This one doesn’t have any strange and questionable materials within it and it’s an easy clean down. Jaebum takes the mop over the floors in just a few strokes to finish up, passing it off to Youngjae who finishes up behind him moments later.
“There. The torture is over.”
Jaebum brings a hand up to shove at Youngjae’s shoulder, the raven-haired boy snickering in response and letting Jaebum snag the bag of trash from his grasp without a fight.
“For today. I do it all over again tomorrow.” Jaebum drawls out, yanking open the supply closet and putting away the cart, letting Youngjae handle the mop and bucket and stepping aside to watch the other struggle with dumping out the dirty water. Youngjae’s legs seem to wobble just the slightest, the bucket slipping off the edge of the sink and splashing water onto the bottoms of Youngjae’s jeans and shoes. Jaebum outwardly laughs now, moving forward to grasp the bottom of the bucket and tip it with ease to dump it all.
“Don’t hurt yourself.” His tone is smug, and Youngjae brings a hand up to hit at his shoulder in retaliation, making a woeful sound as he stares at his wet jeans.
“Why was it filled with so much water in the first place? It shouldn’t be that heavy.”
There is a hidden jab there that Jaebum catches and he’s giving Youngjae an unimpressed look before moving out of the supply closet entirely, deciding to not grace the question with an answer. It wasn’t Jaebum’s fault he was incapable of eyeballing what was an appropriate amount of water to fill the bucket with. And he hadn’t mopped floors in years before yesterday.
They’re both making their way down the stairs towards the trash bin, Jaebum tossing the last bags into it and then pushing it back out the exit to move it all into the dumpster outside, noting that Youngjae was still following him. He keeps quiet, letting the other throw the bags in and then drag the bin back into it’s designated spot.
Now that it was all finished Jaebum could acknowledge it hadn’t been that bad.
“So is this like—your job?”
Youngjae’s voice cuts through Jaebum’s thoughts, his attention turning back onto him with a raise of a brow, and Youngjae flushes a bit when he realizes how it might have sounded.
“Not that it’s a bad job! There’s nothing wrong with this job. You just seemed—you know. You don’t seem like you would be a—“
“—A janitor.” Jaebum finishes for him, holding back the smirk that’s attempting to etch its way onto the corner of his mouth.
Jaebum considers the other for a moment – as in, he actually considers Youngjae and takes him in for the first time since walking in on him in the music room. Now that the awkwardness has faded and they’ve spent almost forty-five minutes together mopping floors and wiping down toilets, Jaebum can’t help but acknowledge that he almost feels comfortable around him.
It’s weird.
It’s weird because they’re strangers. Jaebum knows nothing about Youngjae other than his name and that he plays the piano. He doesn’t know his age. Doesn’t know his major here at the college. Doesn’t even know his last name. But it was only a little unsettling because Jaebum found it hard at times to connect with people. Most found him intimidating and tip-toed around him. Some personalities were far too bold for his liking. Others he simply just clashed with. Jaebum was more than aware that he was hard to get to know, but Youngjae had an air about him that seemed a little effortless.
He was easy to talk to, mainly. His entire aura just screamed friendly.
There were no red flags. Youngjae just seemed... good.
Jaebum might be a bit of hard ass about things but even he couldn’t scowl at something that genuine, and it’s because of that, that Jaebum finds himself responding truthfully to Youngjae’s question.
“I’m not an actual janitor. I’m just temporarily one… and not getting paid.”
Youngjae’s brow furrows in question, but Jaebum continues before he has to ask any further.
“I did something illegal and now I’m doing community service hours in order to avoid a sentence involving jail time.”
Again.
Tact.
Jaebum didn’t have it.
A silence settles between them and for a moment, Jaebum wonders if the friendliness that Youngjae’s been showing him is going to fade off now that the other is aware he’s standing in front of a ‘criminal’ and not a janitor.
Jaebum tries to ignore how much he hates that word. Especially associated with him.
Criminal. Not janitor. Although, that’s almost just as terrible.
“Oh.”
Youngjae quirks his head to the side a little, as if he’s processing it all, before finally speaking up – seeing as Jaebum’s mouth isn’t wanting to form words just yet with the spillage he had just allowed.
“Honestly, that seems to fit you a lot more than being a janitor.”
Jaebum blinks, not quite sure how to take that.
“What does that mean?”
Youngjae flushes again, hand coming up to brush through his black hair like a nervous tick, as if realizing he might have accidentally said that out loud.
“Nothing bad! I just don’t picture someone who looks like you when I think of what a janitor looks like.”
Jaebum thinks that might have been a compliment.
Honestly, he really has no clue, but the flush on Youngjae’s face says it could of been and that it definitely had slipped.
“I’m glad that criminal seems to be more fitting for me.” Jaebum drawls out, smirk appearing when Youngjae verbally flusters all over again, much like he had in the room earlier.
“Stop! You’re making it sound ten times worse than what I’m meaning—“
“I mean there isn’t much you can say about the word criminal that can sound nice.”
“I didn’t say criminal, you said criminal.”
Jaebum snorts at that, “That’s technically what I am.”
“But the fact that you’re doing community service hours and janitorial work at my college instead of sitting in a jail cell tells me that you probably suck at being one. You’re clearly not a criminal designed for hard time.”
The laugh that slips from Jaebum’s mouth comes from his chest, surprised by the jab but finding it actually funny at the same time. His subconscious, Jinyoung, is grinning and telling Jaebum that Youngjae definitely has a point.
“I guess you got me there.” Jaebum finally responds after a moment, smile still stretched on his face and Youngjae seems pleased with himself.
“What’d you do?”
That manages to get the smile to fade a bit, the reality that although Jaebum apparently sucks at being a criminal -- he still is one -- and that familiar disappointment is beginning to bubble up in his chest again at the thought of having to tell Youngjae just what he did.
The last thing Jaebum wants to see is another look of disappointment cast his way. And something told him that one from Youngjae would have some lasting sting to it.
“I don’t wanna talk about it.” Jaebum finally says, letting the smile drop all together now.
If Youngjae wanted to push for an answer it doesn’t show on his face at all. He simply nods, giving Jaebum a small smile – and it’s not pity but Jaebum still doesn’t know what it is – before adjusting the strap of his bag on his shoulder once more. The two of them stand there for a few beats of silence before Jaebum clears his throat and flops his hands at his side a little.
“I’m gonna—go change back into my clothes and probably head out.”
Youngjae shakes from his own thoughts, head immediately nodding as he takes a small step in the opposite direction, towards the main doors of the music hall.
“Yeah! Yeah—I should probably go too. I’ve got studying and an essay to get to.”
Jaebum only nods, the both of them still stalling without really knowing why.
At least, Jaebum doesn’t.
It’s sudden the way the solemn notes of the piano that Youngjae had been playing earlier randomly come back to him, fading in and out of his mind and echoing around it. It’s only the small bit that Jaebum had seen with his own eyes on the sheet music, the notes practically imprinted there, but there is something about it that suddenly overwhelms him and Jaebum’s talking before he really even knows what he wants to say.
“You’re… composing your own music.”
Youngjae seems a little surprised by the question, but not against it, seeing as he nods his head only seconds later, affirming Jaebum’s statement.
“It sounded good. At least, what I heard did.”
Something twists in Youngjae’s gaze and Jaebum is suddenly honed in on it, wondering what that could of meant – what the flash in his eyes was – but Youngjae is still a stranger, someone he can’t quite read yet, so Jaebum lets it go to watch the other steadily as he seems to muster up his words.
“Thanks. I do appreciate that-- but it’s really not all that great. I’ve been struggling with it for months.” Youngjae’s expression looks a little crestfallen and Jaebum silently notes that he prefers the happier expressions over this. He may of only known Youngjae for less than two hours but it still doesn’t look right on his features.
“I can help you, if you ever need it.”
Sometimes Jaebum really wished he could put his foot in his mouth. His heart beat accelerates at his own words, his own offer, feeling the palms of his hands suddenly clam up. Why had he even said that? Why had he offered that? Jaebum hadn’t even touched his own music in years, and felt completely out of his depth with it, so why he would even offer something like that to Youngjae was beyond him right now. But he just fucking did.
He was an idiot.
Youngjae, on the other hand, being completely unaware of the immense distress Jaebum had just put himself into, eyes him curiously. He seems surprised yet again.
“You’ve composed your own music?” Youngjae’s tone doesn’t seem disbelieving at all. It’s just curious.
Jaebum doesn’t know why the other seems to be so curious with him, but then again, he kept opening his mouth and giving Youngjae more and more to question – so Jaebum couldn’t really blame anyone but himself.
“What, the criminal can’t be a musician, either?”
Youngjae’s eyes widen and he’s shaking his head vehemently, “W-What?! No—No that’s not what I meant at all, Jaebum-ssi— I’m sorry—“
“I was just kidding.”
Although, his question might have been a little more honest than he’d like to admit.
Jaebum figured he’d spare Youngjae any further embarrassment, in fear that the red would stain his skin permanently if he kept it up.
Youngjae seems to calm down despite still visibly flushed, fingers running through his hair again and Jaebum watches him silently until the other lets out a breathy laugh and finally gives him a smile.
It makes Jaebum’s insides twist in a way he’s not quite sure how to feel about.
“If you’re being serious about helping me, I’d actually like that a lot.”
Jaebum shouldn’t be shocked that Youngjae agreed. He offered in the first place. But consider him shocked, anyway.
“You don’t even know if I’m good at composing though.” Jaebum counters, deciding to play the Devil’s Advocate to his own suggestion.
Youngjae only seems amused once more.
“You know… I’ve got this feeling that you’re probably very good at it.” There is an assurance in his tone that almost makes Jaebum fluster himself.
He doesn't, of course.
“And I’ll have you know that my gut feeling never steers me wrong.” Youngjae adds on after a moment, tone brightening a bit more before he’s reaching into the back pocket of his jeans and pulling out his cellphone, sliding his thumb across the screen and pulling up his contacts list, turning it towards Jaebum who blinks at it like he’s suddenly incapable of comprehending what to do with that.
“Your number?” Youngjae prompts, laughing lightly and handing it off to Jaebum when he finally takes it. “So that we can figure out times and what not. It might work best after hours like this since you’ll be on campus already. We can just meet up here? In the same room upstairs?”
Jaebum punches in his number and sends himself a text from Youngjae’s phone so that he can save it as well, handing it back to Youngjae and finally nodding.
“Yeah—Yeah that should work. If not, we can figure something else out.”
Youngjae’s smile only seems to brighten at that, his gaze fixated on his phone for a moment before he’s pocketing it once more and finally stepping backwards, turning to make his exit.
“Alright! I’ll talk to you later, Jaebum-ssi!”
“Uh—Youngjae. You can call me hyung, if you want.”
To hell with it.
Youngjae’s steps falter for a moment, brow raised in surprise once more (that’s Jaebum, throwing out the surprises left and right today, apparently) before a bright smile crosses his face and he’s shooting Jaebum a thumbs up that makes the elder roll his eyes.
“Jaebum-hyung, then. We’ll talk soon!”
And with that Jaebum watches as Youngjae leaves and it’s now just him in the music hall, that silence that he had enjoyed earlier falling over him once more but now Jaebum just wants to get out and away from it. He moves to head back towards the employee lockers where his things are, fingers gripping at his auburn hair as everything that just happened within the past few hours really settles over him.
“What did I just get myself into.”
Somewhere in the depths of Jaebum’s mind, his subconscious Jinyoung is already snorting at him and rolling his eyes, grumbling something along the lines of Much more than you’re probably capable of handling, Jaebummie-hyung.