Chapter Text
Chapters 1: WELCOME TO MY LIFE
"This word is full of people that judge. They think that lead a group is a simple thing. But they don't know anything.
My day starts early, extremely early. Sometimes I don't sleep and forget to eat.
Ahah, strange right?
However every day I write new songs, I learn new dance steps to difficult for me, I run for the entire building of Bighit, I stay always by the side of my members and I take their responsibility.
The strange things that I don't understand is: why I always run for others people and I'm still fat?
Maybe because during dinner I eat like a fucking pig. I hate my body. It's so tall and fragile. I always pay attention at my bones because they fracture easily. I want a body as Jungkook or Jimin.
I hate my writing. I think it's not enough to satisfy A.R.M.Y. I want Yoongi-hyung's skill.
I hate my dance's skills. I want a body's movement as Hoseok-hyung.
I hate my smile and I always cover my mouth when I laugh. It's so irritating because I became a dolphin with sorethroat. I want Taekhyung's boxy smile.
And I hate myself. I wish I could love myself as Seokjin-hyung.
But I don't hate my life. I have a family. I have friends. I have realized my dream to become a songs' producer.
I started wrote songs at 14 years old because it was my escape to reality.
My past it's not so easy and beautiful. It always return and hit me in my body and soul.
I always suffer but I must stay strong for my group. I hold my problems into myself and for now it's okay.
Welcome to my life"
The psychiatrist still wrote in his notebook and he never watched Namjoon's face. The "doctor" stretched the paper to Namjoon where there were wrote the new anti-depressive's pills. Namjoon took it and went to the pharmacy. While he was walked he couldn't help thinks to his discussion with the psychiatrist.
And, obviously, the past returned.
The breath became short. The heart was hurting and the head was exploding. He started to shake.
He had to throw up but it sent the sensation back down. He looked around and he saw him.
Him.
His horrible past was smiling at him.
He start to run to his dormitory. He was run for his life, his liberty. He open the door and close it with a loud "bang". While he was tried to recovered the breath Seokjin leaned out of the kitchen.
"Are you okay Namjoon?" he asked. Namjoon nodded and went up to his and Jungkook's room.
He sat down on his chair and opened the computer to wrote the new song but he wasn't concentrated.
He put his hands in his hair until Seokjin called for the dinner. He wasn't hungry but he got up and come down to be welcomed by his members.
He smile. He love them.
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Hi! This is my first english work because my first language isn't English so.......I'm sorry for any mistakes.
This story is all invented by my sick mind ahah!
If you like it you can vote and comments. Thank you!!