Chapter Text
Yuu shrugged, with the same detached ambivalence he might offer when asked his opinion on the latest Haagen Dazs flavor-of-the-month or what he thought of the shade of red they'd gone with for the obi for Chiaki's upcoming tankoubon release.
His lips curled up at their corners with slow, honest charm, and he breathed in deeply. "I dunno. I just do. There's a lot about you to like, you know."
Chiaki's shoulders stopped shaking with repressed laughter, and the flush on his cheeks deepened, the alcohol compounded his blush with nervous shame. "…Wait, you're serious?"
A nod, and suddenly Yuu found his wine glass far more interesting than Chiaki's face, swirling the contents in a pendulous motion. "I'm always serious with you, Chiaki. Except when I'm joking." He cracked a sardonic smile and slid his gaze back to his friend, narrowed and sharp. "But I'm not joking now."
Chiaki held up his hands, shifting on his seat uncomfortably, and tried to keep his voice in check, not wanting to rouse the attention of the bar's other patrons or let on how discomfited he was feeling just about now. "Wait wait wait—okay, you're serious, but…I don't get it…"
"You're cute when you're confused, you know."
"Oi, cut it out," Chiaki protested, trying to keep his voice from breaking, and he downed the rest of his wine in one quick gulp, shaking his head in a futile attempt to clear it. "You're not being clear at all."
"I thought I was pretty straightforward, personally," Yuu all but pouted, resting an elbow on the bar and using it to prop his head up in his palm. "I like you."
"You keep saying that," Chiaki grunted, hunching down in his chair and casting nervous glances at the other patrons, wary of being overheard. Not that anyone really had any cause to pay attention to a couple of overworked mangaka sharing a drink at a more upscale place than they usually frequented just because, dammit, they'd finally gotten the last few panels off to the printers and could afford to relax a bit—at least until Tori called in the middle of the night to let him know that the printers had screwed up and the colors were all wrong for the cover and he needed to recheck the hex codes Chiaki had requested because someone somewhere had screwed up and mixed a "d" for a "b". Chiaki closed his eyes, wincing at the thought already. "What does that even mean?"
Yuu just continued to favor him with that cryptic smile, letting a bit of affection seep into it, and it was this that unsettled Chiaki most. "It means I like you. I'm attracted to you. It's really not that complicated."
Chiaki slapped the smooth lacquered wood between them. "So—what? You're saying you're—you know, that you like…"
"—That I like Chiaki. Just that." He drew himself up and finished off his wine. "It's all you need to understand."
He then shifted on his stool and swung his legs around to slip off, but Chiaki shot an arm out to hold him back. "Wait—where are you going?"
Yuu raised a brow. "Toilet. Wanna come with?" And Chiaki instantly released him, leaving Yuu to readjust the lapels on his coat and snicker softly. "I'm not running away, Chiaki. I still haven't heard your response."
Which gave Chiaki a span of two, perhaps three minutes the sort through the mess of confusion in his mind and figure out what the fuck was going on.
He closed his eyes and rubbed his palms over his face a few times, slapping himself on the cheeks. They'd just come here for celebratory drinks: Chiaki would've been fine with one of the izakayas near the studio, but Yuu had been insistent that it was a big achievement (really, no bigger than any other finished volume) and demanded a certain higher class of drinking establishment. Chiaki had seen little reason to object, given that Yuu had offered to foot the bill in the end, and so here they had found themselves. How was he supposed to know Yuu had ulterior motives like confessing?
Who did that at their age? Guys like them just found someone they were compatible with and invited them on a date—you didn't go up to someone like it was between classes in high school and bow your head and just say I'm sorry, I've liked you for a long time. I just wanted you to know.
And that too! Who just wanted someone to know? What kind of a half-assed confession was that? Yuu didn't look like he cared one way or another how Chiaki responded, like he only wanted to hear his reaction because it was politic to do so. Wasn't he nervous at confessing his feelings to another guy? After all—what were the chances one guy confessing to another was going to get a positive reaction? One in ten? A hundred? A thousand? Did Yuu even consider things like that, or did he just shoot for the moon?
Slumping onto the bar, Chiaki frowned, letting his face flatten against the bar's smooth wooden surface. What was he supposed to do? He wasn't gay—and even if he were remotely attracted to guys, or could convince himself that the plumbing didn't matter, that the personality was more important…Yuu was Yuu. It'd be like—geez, like Tori confessing to him (which was a laugh riot, given that the very idea of words like love and attracted to you passing Tori's lips was ridiculous. You just didn't fall for people you'd known as far back as you could remember—you fell for someone new and exciting, who set your heart to racing just by being near them, who made you smile for the simplest reasons, without whom you couldn't be happy without being in their presence. You didn't fall for your best friends.
Obviously, no one had told Yuu that, though. "Sorry for the wait~" came a sing-song voice from behind him, and Yuu jumped back up onto his seat, wiping his hands on his handkerchief while nodding to the barkeep for a refill on his wine. "You want anything?" Chiaki shook his head, still slumped over the bar, and Yuu frowned at the change in demeanor, shifting the topic of conversation. "…So?"
"So?" Chiaki echoed, but the way his shoulders stiffened at the question was a dead giveaway that he was playing dumb.
Yuu nodded his thanks to the barkeep, taking a deep whiff of the wine's fragrance. "Have you thought it over?"
And truthfully, Chiaki felt like he'd thought the topic to death and at the same time hadn't had nearly enough time to get his mind in order. In the end, he straightened up and crossed his arms over his chest, training his eye on an interesting whorl in the wood grain. "I…I'm sorry, Yuu. I just—don't feel the same way about you. I just want to be friends."
Yuu snickered softly. "Yeah, I figured."
Chiaki spared him a hesitant glance. "You don't sound too surprised." Or too beat up over it either, a part of him noted bitterly. If he liked Chiaki so much, shouldn't be be more disappointed? Was he just dicking around, playing the fun drunk to tease Chiaki? Maybe it was his way of letting off steam after three weeks practically driving themselves into the ground.
Yuu just shrugged with that same frustrating evenness. "More like—I'd kinda already accepted it. I didn't tell you because I expected you to say you felt the same way, after all."
"Then…why?"
"Mmm…maybe I'm bored? This makes things more exciting, don't you think?" Chiaki's face flushed with frustration and annoyance, and Yuu swallowed the sip he'd just taken quickly, coughing. "I don't mean that I wasn't serious—get a grip." And Chiaki did calm, just a hair, letting his fists fall to his side, only realizing now he'd raised them in challenge. Yuu leaned against the bar and circled the rim of his wine glass with one finger, staring into space. "It gets a little dull, you know. Just sitting back and watching you run around every day, oblivious to how people feel about you when they're around you so much. Like—it's the same thing all the time; you do something, or say something—or maybe you're just there and you've got this expression on your face I haven't seen before and it kind of hits me. Makes me feel like I don't want the same thing every day, want to change it up some. So—today I finally did."
"Even though you knew what I'd say?"
"I didn't know," Yuu confessed with a sad smile. "Maybe I had a little sliver of hope. Too much manga reading, I guess." He straightened up and patted Chiaki on the shoulder—the rough slap of a friend and colleague. "But—don't worry too much about it, if you can, 'kay? I'd feel bad if it creeped you out so much you couldn't work with me any more." He added sotto voce, "Hatori'd be pissed I lost you an awesome assistant, too."
"Cocky much?"
"Hey—I just confessed I've been nursing a crush on my boss for fifteen years to said boss. I think that fairly well proves I have balls the size of cantaloupes, don't you?" He took a long swig from his glass. "The wine helped, though."
Chiaki let out a soft chuckle despite himself and leaned back in his seat, settling against the stool's high back with a sigh. "I guess I'm fine with it—if you are?"
Yuu cocked his head and raked a gaze over Chiaki before glancing away and disguising his reaction with a sip of wine. "It's been fine for fifteen years. Why mess up a good thing?"
Chiaki nodded on the outside, but inside, he just wondered how anyone could ever get with the person they loved taking that approach. Yuu was really weird.