Archive of Our Own

‘’Bob’s coffee no longer up to scratch then?’’

Robert barely registered Aaron’s presence as he hovered over him in the café, and it wasn't until Aaron sat down opposite him that he even seemed to notice he had spoken.

‘’What?’’

‘’You’ve been staring at that cup for ten minutes now. I think if you’re looking for answers, you’re supposed to be looking into a bottle, not a mug of coffee.’’ Aaron suggested softly.

‘’I could use a whisky.’’ Robert replied, his gaze barely lifting to meet Aaron’s.

‘’No, you could use a chat, a sober one. C’mon.’’

Aaron’s authoritative tone shook Robert out of his stupor, and he finally looked at him properly. Aaron noticed for the first time how tired he looked, his hair a bit messy and his eyes missing their trademark spark.

‘’Where are we going?’’

‘’Back to mine. The coast is clear there, and we can have a proper chat away from the village gossips.’’ Aaron said, nodding subtly behind him, where Pearl was watching them intently. ‘’I’ve even still got some of your pretentious coffee somewhere I think.’’ He finished, bringing a small smile to Robert’s face, which made him feel strangely proud, and after a moment of contemplation, Robert nodded in agreement.

‘’So, coffee?’’ Aaron asked moments later as he let them into the Mill.

‘’Sounds good.’’ Robert replied softly as he shrugged off his jacket, and Aaron noticed for the first time that even though Robert looked tired, he still managed to resemble a bloody walking catalogue at any given moment. He was wearing jeans that Aaron had long ago whispered to him were his favourite, paired with a dark shirt he had never seen before, his sleeves rolled up to show off his forearms, and Aaron had to bite back the gulp forming in his throat.

‘’New shirt?’’ He asked dumbly, unable to bite back his words at the same time, and Robert seemed equally surprised by Aaron’s comment as he glanced down.

‘’Oh…yea. Seb changes clothes more than Vic, which I didn’t think was possible, and when he throws up he likes to share the love by getting it all over mine too, so figured I could use some more stuff myself.’’

‘’It’s…nice.’’ Aaron replied, and he had to busy himself with the coffee as he mentally kicked himself for being an idiot. Getting himself under control, he sat by Robert, passing him a cup and ignoring the feeling that sparked in him as their fingers brushed.

‘’So…’’Aaron began, clearing his throat. ‘’You ready to talk about it?’’

‘’It’s nothing…’’ Robert said softly, taking a small sip of his coffee.

‘’Robert.’’ Aaron said firmly, causing the other man to look up at him. ‘’Talk to me. Is it Rebecca?’’

‘’She’s…’’ Robert began hesitantly. ‘’It’s like groundhog day with her Aaron.’’

‘’What?’’

‘’She keeps forgetting that Chrissie and Lawrence are…and I have to tell her each time.’’

‘’Oh god, I had no idea. I’m so sorry Robert.’’ Aaron offered as he edged closer to the other man. ‘’She has no idea what’s happened?’’

‘’Sometimes, but then other times she barely remembers. When she does she blames me, and she’d be right, wouldn’t she?’’

‘’It was an accident Robert, that’s all it was. You can’t keep beating yourself up. You’re not to blame.’’ Aaron replied softly, edging even closer to him as he spoke and putting one hand around the back of his neck, where it rested on his shoulder. He could feel their knees touching as Robert looked up at him, and he knew he should pull back a bit, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it, and a small part of him wondered if Robert was fighting the same battle.

‘’What if she never gets better?’’ Robert asked softly, his gaze meeting Aaron’s and sending a shiver running down Aaron’s spine.

‘’Hey, she managed to dodge you lot at the hospital and get to Home Farm with a brain injury, so there’s fight in her yet, she just needs time.’’ Aaron said with a small smile.

‘’And what do I do in the meantime? I can’t just stand back and do nothing, I feel helpless.’’

‘’Robert, this whole thing was never gonna be easy, but you’re doing the best you can.’’

‘’It’s not enough though, is it?’’

‘’Says who?’’

‘’Nobody has to say it, I know already. When have I ever not let someone I care about down?’’

‘’Have you let Seb down yet?’’ Aaron asked softly, unsure of how else to respond to Robert’s question. He had never seen him look so vulnerable, and it made his chest clench as the ache to remove the pain settled over him, but it wasn’t his place to do that anymore.

‘’No, but it’s only a matter of time.’’ Robert replied sadly. ‘’I just wish…’’

‘’What? You can tell me Rob.’’

‘’I just want one person in my life to be proud of me. My mum was the last person that ever made feel like that, and…’’

‘’That’s not true.’’ Aaron protested, and the strength in his tone took Robert by surprise. ‘’Vic and Diane, they’re proud of you…and me…’’

‘’You?’’

‘’I’m so proud of you Rob. You’re a great dad, anyone can see that, and Seb is lucky to have you.’’

‘’You don’t need to say that…’’

‘’I’m only saying it because it’s true.’’ Aaron argued gently. ‘’That little boy adores you.’’

‘’You think?’’

‘’I know.’’ Aaron replied confidently, and it seemed to settle Robert’s nerves for a second, before another frown distorted his features.

‘’Thank you, just a shame I can’t say the same for everyone else.’’

‘’What are you on about?’’

‘’The business is falling apart. Jimmy’s absconded to Home Farm and I’ve practically abandoned it in the last few weeks…’’

‘’I think that’s understandable, given what you’ve been through.’’ Aaron said softly.

‘’Clients don’t care though, not that I’ll have many left if I leave the place alone much longer.’’

‘’Then sort it, I know you. Give you a day alone in that portacabin and you’ll have the place running like clockwork again.’’

‘’And when am I supposed to do that? It’s too cold to have Seb in the office with me all day, but Vic and Diane are too busy to look after him for that long, and I couldn’t put them out like that anyway.’’

‘’I’ll watch him if you want.’’ Aaron offered. He had no idea where it came from, but an odd feeling of calm washed over him as he realised how perfectly okay he was for Robert to accept the offer. Apparently, Robert was just as stunned as Aaron by the words that came out of his mouth, if the look on his face was any indication.

‘’I can’t ask you do to that.’’ He answered, pulling away slightly as he did, to Aaron’s disappointment.

‘’You’re not, I’m offering.’’

‘’But…’’

‘’Look, you won’t be much use to Seb if you can’t put a roof over his head because your business has failed, so drop him off here tomorrow, do what you need to do and then just pick him up when you’re ready.’’

‘’Aaron, are you sure?’’

‘’Robert, it’s fine, honestly. It’s quiet at the yard, I’d probably be skiving anyway, so may as well have someone to do it with.’’

‘’You’re really sure?’’ Robert repeated in wide-eyed amazement.

‘’You keep asking me that and I’ll change my mind.’’ Aaron smiled, and Robert relaxed a little when he saw how genuine he was.

‘’Fine, but only because you’ve begged.’’ Robert smirked, his eyes lighting up for a brief second, and Aaron’s heart leapt.

‘’I think we both know I’m not the beggar out of the two of us mate.’’ Aaron fired back easily, and immediately tried to stop the blush rising in his cheeks as he realised how easy it was to slip back into flirt mode with Robert, but if the other man noticed as well, he clearly hid it better.

‘’So, I’ll drop him off around…’’ Robert asked.

‘’Ten?’’

‘’Ten it is. Thank you Aaron, you’ve no idea how much this helps.’’

‘’It’s no big deal.’’ Aaron shrugged.

‘’It is to me.’’ Robert replied sincerely, and the look in his eyes did things to Aaron’s heart that he refused to acknowledge, even after he left the Mill with a smile on his face and Aaron was finally able to let out a breath that he didn’t realise he had been holding.

Aaron awoke with a start; the remnants of a dream still filtering at the front of his mind as it disappeared the more he became aware of his surroundings. He could barely remember what it was about, but he still felt the touch of Robert’s knee against his, and the distant melody of a child’s laughter. He shook it off, trying to calm the spinning thoughts in his head when he heard the vibration of his phone on the bedside table. A brief moment of worry passed through him when he considered it could be Robert cancelling on him, but his worry turned to dread when he saw Alex’s hopeful message on his lock screen.

I’ve got the day off today, fancy lazing in front of the telly and eating deliciously bad food? x

Aaron hovered over the keypad, hesitating over his response as he figured out how best to let Alex down gently. As understanding as Alex was, he knew he wouldn’t be happy about Aaron’s plans for the day, but he felt a strange pang come over his chest at the thought of letting Robert down, so he fired off a quick response and tried to ignore the feeling of guilt that welled up inside him.

Sounds great but I can’t, sorry. Slammed at the scrap yard, but another time yea?

Tomorrow? x

The reply came instantly, and Aaron tried to ignore the slight feeling of dread that welled up inside him.

Tomorrow.

Valentine’s Day.

He knew he couldn’t ignore it though, so he sent a quick text back agreeing, with a kiss for good measure, then put his phone down and stifled a groan. It would be okay. What Alex didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.

After jumping in the shower, devouring some tea and toast to calm his sudden bout of nerves and sending Liv on her way with more force than was strictly necessary, Aaron suddenly found himself pacing the Mill as he checked his watch and waited for Robert to arrive.

‘’It’s fine; he’s just a baby. I’m an expert at babies.’’ Aaron muttered to himself as he glanced at his phone, and he felt his heart stop for a second when he heard the soft knock on the door. Taking a deep breath, he tried to calm the butterflies in his stomach as he pulled open the door, unable to stop the warm smile creeping over his face when he saw Robert looking nervous on the other side.

‘’Aaron…’’

‘’If you ask me if I’m sure one more time…’’ Aaron interjected lightly, his humorous tone putting a smile on Robert’s face as he stepped aside and let him into the Mill. Aaron shut the door softly behind them as Robert wheeled the pram into the centre of the room and took a tentative step closer, peering inside to see Seb fast asleep, his nose twitching as he dreamt, a trait he had clearly picked up from his father but Aaron tried not to focus on the similarities between them, knowing it would probably lead him down a dark path.

Robert let out a small cough, and Aaron realised he was bordering on staring as he watched Seb. Shaking himself out of his daydream, he looked up, and his eyes locked with Robert’s but he ignored the thrill that ran down him at the look on the other man’s face.

‘So,’’ Robert began, and Aaron was surprised to hear a hint of shyness in his voice as he removed a bag from his shoulder. ‘’All his stuff is in here. I’ve made up a few bottles for him, but I should be done before you need to use them all, and then there’s lots of nappies, and some spare clothes and...’’

‘’Robert, I’m a Dingle, remember? I’ve got a million cousins, I know what I’m doing.’’

‘’Sorry, yea of course you do.’’ Robert smiled. ‘’Just…bit weird this, me leaving him with you…’’

‘’I’ve had weirder moments.’’ Aaron replied with a smile, trying to relax Robert, and it worked, as he saw the other man’s shoulders drop. ‘’So, you know what you need to do today?’’

‘’Yea, sort out the accounts firstly, then rearrange some haulage pick ups and then hopefully clear the backlog of emails.’’ Robert began, and then found himself smiling shyly. ‘’Sorry, you don’t need to hear my boring plans.’’

‘’No, it’s perfect, I’ll just repeat that to Seb if he’s having trouble sleeping and he’ll nod off in no time.’’ Aaron joked. ‘’Now go on get going, or I’ll have to increase my rate.’’

‘’Oh yea, what is your rate?’’ Robert smiled back. ‘’We never did talk terms.’’

‘’I’ll let you know.’’ Aaron felt it again, the easy way he was able to flirt with Robert, and he pushed it down. ‘’Go on, leave us to it.’’

‘’Fine.’’ Robert relented as he leaned over the pram and pressed a kiss to Seb’s forehead, the little boy’s nose wrinkling in response to the contact. ‘’You behave yourself for Aaron little man yea? And if he tries to push toast or Top Gear on him, you do what we agreed okay?’’ He finished with a smirk as he give Seb’s cheek a stroke before making his way to the door, Aaron following closely behind him.

‘’Thank you again Aaron, seriously.’’ Robert said sincerely as he pulled open the door. ‘’You’ll be okay?’’

‘’We’ll be fine, but don’t worry, I’ll text you updates every few hours yea?’’ Aaron offered before Robert could ask, knowing instantly that the question was on his mind.

‘’Okay, I’m going.’’ Robert smiled, pulling the door softly behind him, and Aaron paused to take a deep breath before making his way over to Seb.

‘’Just you and me now trouble.’’ Aaron whispered to the sleeping baby. ‘’I’ll just be on the couch if you need anything, okay?’’

Aaron made himself another brew, taking soft sips to steady himself as he continually glanced into the pram. He was good with babies, but this was Robert’s baby, and he never thought he’d ever be this close to him, let alone be left completely in charge of him, yet he couldn’t shake the feeling that he desperately didn’t want to let Robert down.

After about twenty minutes, Aaron shuffled off the couch when he heard the soft snuffling of Seb waking up. He watched with interest as the little boy’s eyes opened, turning his head as he tried to get his bearings. Aaron saw the moment just before the tears began, as Seb’s confusion over the strange view scared him. Without a moment’s hesitation, he had scooped the baby out of the pram and nestled him against his chest, whispering softly to him as he bounced him up and down.

‘’It’s okay, we’re at the Mill. You’re safe, sshh, don’t worry little man.’’ Aaron said softly as Seb’s eyes locked on his, looking at him curiously to determine if he was a friend. ‘’I’m looking after you for your daddy. We can have fun together, can’t we?’’ He asked softly as he walked slowly around the room, Seb’s tears eventually subsiding. ‘’Will I give you a tour?’’

‘’So, this is the kitchen’’ Aaron said softly as he walked around the table. ‘’Best part of the house I reckon, because it’s where the food lives. And we were just in the living area. Did you know your daddy built this house?’’ Seb snuffled in Aaron’s arms, and he took that as a no, making him chuckle softly. ‘’Well, built is an exaggeration, he’s not very good with his hands. No, actually that’s a massive lie, he’s really good with his hands. Oh no, I shouldn’t be telling you this.’’ Aaron felt himself blushing, even though Seb had no idea what he was talking about. ‘’Anyway, the house, your daddy designed it, while I was…away, but we won’t talk about that.’’

Aaron walked them over to the couch, where he sat down as gently as he could so as not to rock the tiny person in his arms.

‘’I was married to your daddy once you know?’’ Aaron said softly, and just at that moment, Seb’s eyes opened wide, almost as though he was surprised, and Aaron bit back another laugh.

‘’I know right? Me, being someone’s husband, never thought that would happen. And Robert Sugden’s husband too, which you won’t understand right now, but it was a pretty big deal.’’

Seb let out another snuffle, and Aaron smiled softly at how expressive the small boy was.

‘’I guess you will understand one day, because you’re his son, and I’d say being Robert’s son is just as big a deal as being his husband.’’

Seb began to shuffle furiously in Aaron’s arms, and he had enough experience with babies to know what that meant. Being perfectly honest, he knew he made the same face himself at a time like this.

‘’Food time is it?’’ He asked, and a small gurgle from the baby in his arms was all the confirmation he needed. Placing him gently into his pram with the promise to be back in moments, he heated up a bottle quickly before returning to the living area.

He carefully prized Seb out of the pram and sat back down into the couch, using the cushions to prop them both up as he grabbed the bottle from the table and Seb wrapped his little mouth around the top of it with a determined look in his eyes.

‘’You love your grub too eh? I think me and you will get on just fine today.’’ Aaron sighed softly as he settled into the rhythm of Seb sucking the contents out of his bottle. He couldn’t tear his gaze away as Seb’s eyes stayed on him the entire time he was feeding, and it caused an indescribable sensation to flutter in his chest.

‘’Seb, if I tell you a secret, will you keep it to yourself?’’ Aaron asked quietly, and he took a crinkle of the little boy’s nose as agreement. ‘’Thing is, lately I…can’t stop thinking about how different things would be.’’

Aaron felt a weight lift off his chest at the confession, and Seb gave him a curious look in between mouthfuls of his milk that encouraged him to keep talking.

‘’I really loved your daddy you know, more than I’ve ever loved anyone, and I thought one day I’d have you with him. Well, not you, but someone like you.’’ Aaron confessed to the little bundle in his arms. ‘’I sometimes wonder where I’d be with your daddy if I hadn’t gone away, or taken the drugs, or if he had never brought your mummy here in the first place.’’

Seb broke away from his bottle to gaze into Aaron’s eyes, and he felt a weird pang of guilt for mentioning Rebecca.

‘’None of this is your fault is it? Just…maybe if we hadn’t lied to each other when you were in your mummy’s tummy about how we were feeling, things would be different now…’’

Aaron felt the tears begin to prick his eyes as he replayed the arguments and apologies; the make ups and break ups whose fragments still lingered in the Mill.

‘’Guess we were never very good at doing things like talking to each other, that’s cause we did everything the wrong way around. It’s always how it’s been with me and your daddy, but I’ll tell you another secret okay?’’

Seb let out a gurgle off satisfaction, and Aaron gently removed the bottle from his mouth and placed it down, turning him over to rub his back as he continued to speak.

‘’I wouldn’t ever want to trade what I had with him for anything. And I was telling him the truth the other day, I’m so proud of him, and who he is now.’’ Aaron confessed, and he couldn’t help the lone tear that fell as he turned Seb back around to face him. Almost as though on instinct, the little boy reached out his tiny finger and stroked Aaron’s beard, sending an indescribable feeling of comfort and emotion shooting through him.

‘’You’re just like your daddy you know.’’ Aaron smiled through the tears that continued to fall. ‘’You don’t judge me for my secrets or tell me what to feel, and you know just what to do to make me feel better.’’

Seb shuffled in response to Aaron’s voice, almost shrugging in acknowledgment of his words, and Aaron couldn’t help but laugh.

‘’You’re a proper cutie aren’t you? Now you’re fed, you wanna sleep in your pram or hang out with me?’’

Seb buried himself into Aaron’s chest, burrowing himself a little nook to sleep in, and Aaron felt a warmth bloom in his chest.

‘’Hang out with me it is then.’’

Aaron settled himself against the cushions, swaying his arms gently back and forth as Seb shuffled off to sleep, the tie string from his hoodie gripped tightly in his tiny hands, as if Seb didn’t want to risk Aaron ever letting him go.

They stayed like that for hours, Aaron perfectly content to just sit with Seb in his arms as he alternated between sleeping and watching him with wide-eyed curiosity, never once letting his grip on Aaron’s hoodie go.

Aaron only looked up when he heard the rush of air that came with the front door slowly opening, and he smiled as Robert stood in awe in front of them with a briefcase full of files in his hand, just watching his son sleep soundly in Aaron’s arms.

‘’Hey.’’ Aaron whispered softly, and Robert could only nod back, sending another bloom of warmth through Aaron’s chest as he read the emotions flickering across the other man’s face as he took in the scene before him.

Eventually, Robert snapped out of his daydream, and made his way over to the two men, unable to keep his gaze off them both.

‘’How was he?’’ He asked softly, looking down at his son, looking perfectly content to stay in Aaron’s arms.

‘’Good as gold.’’

‘’Really?’’

‘’Yea, no bother at all.’’ Aaron confirmed quietly as he passed Seb over to his father, their fingers brushing again, which sent a shiver down Aaron’s spine. ‘’You get all your work done?’’

‘’Yep, everything’s back on track, thank you.’’

Robert placed his son gently into his pram, and Aaron appeared beside him with his blanket, which he draped carefully over the sleeping infant. His action caused the little boy to wake up, but no tears came. Instead, he looked at Aaron with an expression of something resembling happiness and contentment, and Aaron felt a thrill run through him as he heard Robert sigh in awe next to him.

‘’He looks so…happy.’’ Robert whispered. ‘’Thank you Aaron, for whatever you did today to give him that look.’’

‘’It was fun. I think he likes me.’’ Aaron said, feeling suddenly shy.

‘’Well who wouldn’t?’’ Robert asked without missing a beat, and Aaron felt a blush rise in his cheeks.

They were both so wrapped up in watching Seb as he snuffled happily in his pram that neither of them noticed the sound of footsteps as another person entered the room, and it was only when they heard the deliberate clearing of a throat that they tore their gazes away from Seb, Aaron’s eyes widening as he saw who was standing opposite them with an unreadable expression on his face.

Alex.

‘’Alex? I…I didn’t hear you come in.’’ Aaron stuttered nervously as he realised how close he was to Robert, the two of them wrapped in the picture of family and domesticity with Seb in the middle, and he backed away a couple of steps in the hope it would appease Alex, but his efforts were in vain judging by the look on the other man’s face.

‘’Clearly.’’ Alex replied dryly.

‘’What are you doing here?’’

‘’Well I thought maybe I’d come by and cook for you. Figured after you’d had such a busy day at the yard, you wouldn’t be in the mood to do it yourself.’’ Alex said hotly, his eyes flitting between Aaron and the pram.

Aaron felt Robert’s eyes bore into him with a mixture of confusion and curiosity as he twigged the lie, but Aaron refused to look at him.

‘’So, this is what’s kept you slammed then? Babysitting?’’ Alex asked, watching both men as he waited for an answer.

‘’No, nothing like that.’’ Robert butted in before Aaron could say anything. ‘’Aaron had some files for the business here and I needed them before a meeting tomorrow, he didn’t get a chance to leave the yard all day and get them so I just met him now to pick them up. Had this one with me, and we stayed for a quick chat. That’s all.’’ He said it with a casual tone, but Aaron could see the doubt on his features that his fib would be believed.

Alex looked curiously at Robert, but a small nod of agreement from Aaron seemed to convince him.

‘’Well, I’ll leave you both to it. Thanks for the file Aaron, it was good to see you Alex. ’’ Robert said kindly as he picked up his nappy bag and briefcase and unlocked the safety hold on Seb’s pram.

‘’Yea…you too.’’ Alex agreed reluctantly.

Aaron tried not to focus his gaze on Robert and Seb as they navigated the furniture and made their way to the door, knowing that Alex’s eyes were on him, but he couldn’t help himself from following Robert and giving him a grateful smile as he shut the door behind him.

‘’So,’’ Aaron began as casually as possible. ‘’You mentioned food?’’

‘’Aaron, you’re not…there’s nothing…?’’

‘’What?’’

‘’Nothing, doesn’t matter.’’ Alex said quickly, but the look in his eyes made Aaron tremble a little with guilt. ‘’Food, right, let’s see what you have.’’

Aaron could tell the smile on the other man’s face was fake, and he couldn’t bear to see it, so he crossed the room quickly and planted what he hoped was a reassuring kiss to Alex’s lips, which seemed to work as his eyes brightened considerably.

As Alex rummaged around in the cupboards for something to cook, Aaron just wished his kiss had reassured himself as well.

‘’You know it’s not an fair staring match right?’’

Aaron felt the hairs prick up on the back of his neck as he heard the voice behind him, and he turned around to find Robert smiling at him as he stood by the wine selection in David’s the following day.

‘’What?’’ Aaron asked, baffled.

‘’The wine bottle don’t have eyelids, so they’ll never blink first.’’ Robert joked as he edged closer to Aaron until they were side by side.

‘’Very funny.’’

‘’So go on then, what you up to? You were never a wine drinker before.’’

‘’It’s Alex.’’ Aaron said reluctantly, and he could tell Robert knew what he was thinking.

‘’Is this about yesterday?’’

‘’Don’t think he fully believed you, and given what day it is, I thought I should make it up to him, so Vic gave me this red wine pasta dish thing to cook for him but…’’

‘’Trying to figure out which wine to buy for the sauce?’’ Aaron nodded. ‘’This one.’’ Robert offered, taking one off the shelf with expert ease. ‘’And this one to actually drink with it.’’ He finished as he grabbed another one. ‘’C’mon, let’s get this stuff and I’ll help you.’’

‘’What?’’

‘’It’s the least I can do Aaron, it’s my fault you’re in the doghouse.’’

‘’You don’t…’’

‘’I don’t mind honestly, and I know the recipe, I helped Vic test it out.’’

‘’Okay, thanks.’’ Aaron agreed, breathing a small sigh of relief that he wouldn’t have to attempt to cook whatever this was on his own.

‘’You don’t think this is too much?’’ Aaron asked twenty minutes later as they stood side by side in the Mill, Aaron haphazardly dicing chicken and Robert chopping vegetables with annoyingly perfect, Michelin star precision.

‘’You’re making an effort, he’ll love it.’’ Robert replied easily, looking up briefly from his task to give Aaron a reassuring smile. A few more minutes passed in silence as they finish their food prep, and as soon as the food was in the oven, Aaron finally asked the question that had been plaguing him all day.

‘’Robert?’’

‘’Yea?’’ Robert asked as he stirred the sauce slowly.

‘’Why did you lie to him for me? You could have dropped me right in it.’’

‘’Why would I have done that?’’ Aaron shrugged in response. ‘’You did me a massive favour yesterday Aaron, and I didn’t want to make things between you awkward if I could help it.’’

‘’Well thank you. Don’t think he really believed us if I’m being honest, but…’’

‘’Why did you lie?’’ Robert suddenly asked, and Aaron found himself thrown off kilter by the question. ‘’I thought he was okay with us being mates?’’

‘’He is.’’ Aaron agreed quickly. ‘’I just…I thought it was easier…’’

‘’Didn’t want to risk hurting him, even if it’s something innocent right?’’

‘’I guess so…’’

‘’I know how that feels.’’ Robert said softly, and their eyes locked for a second, sending a pang of something unrecognisable through Aaron’s chest, but then Robert tore his gaze away and the moment was broken.

They pottered around each other for the next few minutes in silence, but Aaron couldn’t resist sneaking glances at Robert every now and again as they took turns checking on the food and he couldn’t help but feel that Robert’s eyes were on him when his back was turned as well. Occasionally, as one of them reached for something across the counter, their fingers would brush, and Aaron had to look away to stop the blush rising in his cheeks.

‘’Right, think the chicken’s ready to come out of the oven.’’ Robert broke the silence fifteen minutes later, passing Aaron the oven gloves. ‘’Now just tip it all gently into the sauce and let it simmer until the pasta is ready.’’

Aaron clearly had a different understand of the word gently, as he dumped the meat into the simmering sauce with an ungraceful thud, and could only watch in fascination as drops of red wine and tomato splattered all over the kitchen tiles and countertop like water from a fountain. However, that was nothing compared to the amount of droplets that had found themselves onto Robert’s face and crisp white shirt, the other man having stood dangerously close to the saucepan to supervise Aaron’s efforts.

Aaron couldn’t help the laugh that escaped his lips as he took in the sight of Robert standing there with red wine sauce on his nose, a thoroughly unimpressed look on his face.

‘’What part of gently don’t you understand, Aaron?’’ Robert asked dryly.

‘’Sorry, but well…that shirt needed jazzing up, I mean it doesn’t even have elbow patches or anything.’’ Aaron smirked, trying to look contrite and failing miserably.

‘’Are you making fun of my clothes?’’ Robert asked in mock disgust

‘’Everyone needs a hobby.’’ Aaron fired back lightly. ‘’What, no retaliation?’’ He tested, finding himself delighting at the twinkle in Robert’s eye.

‘’No, I’m an adult now, past all that.’’ Robert said evenly as he picked up a tea towel and wiped the remnants of sauce of his face, before dabbing at the stains on his shirt. ‘’But maybe…just for old times sake…’’ he started as he approached Aaron with a glint in his eye, the towel poised in his hand like a snake about to strike.

‘’No, Robert…’’ Aaron protested lightly, but he felt the slap of the towel against his thigh before he could move too much. He jumped back to avoid another attack, but as he stuck his hands out to anchor himself against the counter, he let out a hiss of pain as his hand landed on the still steaming baking tray. Robert dropped the towel and was by his side instantly, holding his hand and looking at the patch of skin between his thumb and forefinger that was an angry shade of red.

‘’Aaron, I’m so sorry.’’

‘’Not your fault.’’ Aaron mumbled as he tried to ignore the blistering heat coursing through his hand.

‘’Come here.’’ Robert instructed, leading him over to the sink, whipping on the cold tap and gently placing Aaron’s hand under it, both men watching the water as it cascaded over his hand. He suddenly became very aware that Robert was still holding his hand, but an ache spread through his chest at the thought of him releasing his grip.

‘’Better?’’ Robert asked softly.

‘’Yea…That feels nice.’’ Aaron admitted before he could stop himself.

‘’The water?’’

‘’No, your…don’t stop.’’ Aaron said softly, watching Robert’s thumb briefly pause, then resume caressing his own slowly, making little circles in the creases of his skin in a hypnotising rhythm.

Aaron looked up to find Robert watching him intently, their fingers still linked together as the water poured over them.

‘’Aaron…’’

‘’Don’t…’’ Aaron protested quietly. ‘’Just…’’ He whispered as he looked into Robert’s eyes, finding himself edging closer, unable to keep himself at a safe distance.

‘’I didn’t mean to hurt you.’’

‘’I know.’’

‘’Not doing great at this friends thing am I?’’ Robert breathed heavily as his gaze flicked from Aaron’s eyes to his lips, and Aaron knew exactly what he was thinking.

‘’Don’t think I am either.’’ Aaron admitted quietly as he took another step closer to his ex-husband, and he could feel Robert’s breath on his face. It would take him only a couple of inches to fully close the gap and feel Robert’s lips against his own, and he could see the look in Robert’s eyes that he knew was also in his own, that moment of questioning as to who would be brave enough to make the final move.

The sound of a phone vibrating on the table stopped them both, Robert quickly removing his fingers from Aaron’s and stepping back as he straightened himself. Aaron tried to ignore the ache at the lost of contact, pulling himself out of Robert’s proximity long enough to reach out and grab his phone off the table.

‘’It’s Alex.’’ He said with a heavy sigh as he saw the name on screen.

‘’Guess that’s my cue to leave then.’’ Robert said, and Aaron could tell he was trying to keep his voice even. ‘’You’ll be okay with the food?’’

‘’Erm…yea.’’ Aaron replied weakly, clearing his throat.

‘’And your hand?’’

‘’Alex will take care of it.’’ Aaron replied with a hint of bite in his voice, and he felt a flash of guilt at the look on Robert’s face and the meaning he took from his words.

‘’Have a nice night Aaron.’’ Robert said softly as he picked up his jacket, and Aaron felt an unbearable pang run through him as he watched him leave.

‘’Robert?’’

‘’Yea?’’ He asked as he turned around.

‘’I erm…thank you.’’

‘’Anytime.’’

It took the twenty minutes between Robert leaving and Alex arriving for Aaron to steady his breathing and try to brush off the feeling of having his ex-husband so close to him. He finally managed to sort himself out and dish up the food when he heard the door go and Alex appear on the other side, a cheesy grin on his face and a heart shaped chocolate lollipop in his hand.

‘’Hi.’’ Aaron eventually stuttered out after several seconds of silence.

‘’Happy Valentine’s.’’ Alex smiled as he closed the distance and pressed a soft kiss to Aaron’s lips. ‘’Wow, didn’t think you had this in you.’’ He commented, taking in the elegantly set table and the dished up food.

It wasn’t me Aaron thought to himself, but he knew better than to bring up Robert’s name at a time like this.

‘’Thanks.’’ Aaron replied softly, his involuntarily stroking of his burnt hand catching Alex’s attention.

‘’What’s happened?’’

‘’Nothing much, just caught it on the oven tray. It’s fine.’’ Aaron protested as Alex took his hand and examined it carefully. ‘’Let’s just eat, yea? How was your day?’’

‘’You okay?’’ Alex asked twenty minutes later, and Aaron looked up to find him being watched intently by the other man as he pushed his food around his plate.

‘’Yea…erm sorry, just my hand.’’

‘’Still tingling?’’

‘’A bit yea.’’ Aaron answered, but he was barely able to admit to himself, much less Alex, that the tingling had less to do with the burn and more with the reminder of his ex-husband’s touch.

‘’Well, as a doctor, I can offer you some excellent medical advice on how to take your mind off it.’’ Alex joked, his gaze flickering upstairs.

‘’Hope you don’t recommend that to all your patients.’’ Aaron joked back, but it felt flat to him even if Alex didn’t notice.

‘’Only the very attractive ones.’’ Alex replied with a wink. ‘’So…you wanna?’’

‘’Yea…yea you go up, I’ll just put the leftovers away.’’ Aaron replied after a moment’s hesitation, rising from his seat with the remains of the dessert in his hands.

‘’Okay well…don’t keep me waiting, and wanting…’’ Alex whispered seductively into Aaron’s ear as he brushed passed him, making his way upstairs with a happy look on his face, and Aaron took a minute to ignore the memory of Robert flashing in front of him, before dumping the food in the fridge and following the other man upstairs.

‘’Here, thought you could use this.’’

‘’Cheers.’’ Aaron managed to mumble; taking the cold pint from Paddy and budging up to let him sit beside him on the Woolpack bench as he stared into the distance.

‘’So…’’

‘’So?’’ Aaron repeated dryly.

‘’Right, I’ll just come out with it. What’s happened?’’

‘’Nothing, why?’’

‘’Well it’s…okay well…’’

‘’Paddy.’’ Aaron said firmly.

‘’Well, I saw Alex skipping out of yours this morning like the cat that got the cream, but you’ve got a face like a slapped arse, so what’s happened in the last few hours?’’

‘’Nothing…just coming down from my Valentine’s high is all.’’ Aaron replied dryly as he took a sip from his pint.

‘’Well now I know something is wrong, so spill it.’’ Paddy encouraged gently. ‘’Is this about Alex?’’

Aaron shrugged in response.

‘’Aaron, you can tell me.’’

‘’I just think…’’

‘’What is it?’’

‘’I just feel sometimes that he wants or…expects more than I can give him.’’

‘’Has he said something?’’

‘’No, he’s been fine, and last night was…nice…just get this feeling you know…’’

‘’Nice? That’s all? No…fireworks?’’ Paddy quizzed, and on another day, Aaron might have laughed at the distinct shade of red his ears were turning, but today was not that day.

‘’There should be more, that what you’re saying?’’

‘’No…maybe…well there’s no rush, you’re still getting to know each other.’’ Paddy advised softly. ‘’You’re not…’’

‘’What?’’

‘’Right, I’m only saying this because I care, but you’re not holding back because…because of Robert are you?’’

‘’No, why would I be?’’

‘’No reason, just…’’

‘’Just spit it out Paddy.’’ Aaron replied, his frustrations beginning to simmer.

‘’Well with…next week being what it is and all…’’

‘’You think I’m holding out on Alex because it’s our anniversary in a few days?’’

‘’I know how much that day meant to you, both of you.’’ Paddy said softly.

‘’It wasn’t even real.’’ Aaron protested weakly.

‘’I don’t think you really believe that do you, and I’m guessing Robert doesn’t either?’’

‘’Since when do you care about Robert?’’

‘’I don’t, I care you. You’re my son and I love you, you know I love you. I just want you to be happy.’’

‘’And you think that’s with Robert?’’

‘’I don’t know, maybe it’s not with anyone at the moment.’’ Paddy said in a rare pearl of wisdom. ‘’Does Alex make you as happy as Robert did?’’

‘’He’s never made me as sad as Robert did, probably never will.’’ Aaron replied.

‘’That’s not what I asked.’’

‘’What, so you’re saying I should be with Robert because he made me feel more, even if it’s worse?’’

‘’I’m not saying you have to be with anyone, but all I want is for you to be happy with your decision. Alex likes you a lot, and as much as I hate to admit it, Robert still loves you a lot too. All I’m saying is, don’t throw away something great because you don’t feel as much straight away, but if you think you’ll never feel as much as you once did, then don’t settle, and don’t lead someone else on.’’

‘’Wow, well that was really helpful Paddy.’’ Aaron replied dryly.

‘’It’s what I’m here for.’’ Paddy smiled. ‘’But Aaron?’’ He started as he got up to leave.

‘’Yea?’’

‘’Whatever or whoever you decide is your future, I will support you I promise…and so will your mum.’’

‘’Thanks.’’ Aaron answered, a swell of emotion building in him as he watched Paddy head back inside. Taking a deep breath, he pulled out his phone, and after hovering over the number for several seconds; he let out a sigh and pressed the call button.

‘’Hey.’’

The soft voice came from his left side, and Aaron looked up from his perch on the bench where he had been sat for the past hour to see Robert standing opposite him.

‘’Hey.’’ Aaron replied, feeling a sudden surge of emotion pass through him.

‘’Can we talk?’’

‘’No…not right now.’’ Aaron said regretfully as he quickly glanced up the road for the sight of any approaching cars.

‘’Please Aaron?’’ Robert pleaded, and Aaron could feel himself on the brink of relenting, but he knew he couldn’t.

‘’What about?’’

‘’Yesterday…we shouldn’t have left things like that.’’

‘’No, we should.’’

‘’What?’’

‘’Robert, don’t make this harder…please…’’

‘’But I know you felt…what I did…’’

‘’I’m with Alex.’’ Aaron interrupted.

‘’But yesterday…’’

‘’Was heat of the moment. I’m sorry Robert.’’

‘’So you felt nothing? It was really all just me?’’ Robert asked in disbelief.

Before Aaron could say anything else, a car pulled up alongside them and Alex emerged cautiously from it, his eyes flickering between the two men curiously.

‘’Everything okay?’’ He asked, and Aaron could feel the tension between them all. ‘’Have I interrupted something?’’

‘’No, it’s nothing.’’ Robert forced out, but Aaron could see the pain in his eyes. ‘’My fault, crossed wires. It’s all sorted now.’’

‘’Oh, okay then.’’ Alex said, brightening up instantly. ‘’No Seb today?’’

‘’No, I’m on my own.’’ Robert replied as levelly as he could, but Aaron felt like a knife was sitting on his skin when he heard the pain again in Robert’s voice, a knife that was ready to strike at any moment. ‘’I’ll leave you to it.’’

‘’See you around Robert.’’ Alex said chirpily, sitting down next to Aaron as he pressed a kiss to his cheek. ‘’I was glad you called. So, what plans do you have that can top last night?’’

‘’Let’s just go back to mine.’’ Aaron managed to choke out in a relatively normal tone as he forced himself to tear his gaze away from Robert, the look in the other man’s eyes as he walked away threatening to tear at the stitching on Aaron’s own heart.

Aaron wiped his eyes as he sat in the darkness of the Mill living area, having sat in the quiet with tears falling down his cheeks for going on an hour now. He had awoken from his dream, images of Robert and a smiling child clouding his memory again, and had looked over to see an imposter in his bed. Alex didn’t notice as Aaron climbed from the bed and headed downstairs, where he sat alone with nothing but a watch to keep him company as he watched the minutes tick slowly by. He was glad Gerry was at a mate’s, grateful for the peace of the house so he could collect his thoughts. He couldn’t get the look on Robert’s face as he walked away from him out of his head, and he knew, as soon as he woke up from his dream that he had made a mistake letting him go again.

As the first hints of sunlight streamed into the flat, Aaron heard movement from upstairs that could only be Alex, and he wiped the last tears from his eyes as he waited for him to appear.

‘’Morning.’’ He said brightly as he trotted down the stairs. ‘’Hey, what is it?’’ He asked kindly, and the concern in his voice was too much.

‘’I’m sorry Alex, I’m so sorry…’’

‘’For what?’’

‘’I can’t…we need to talk.’’

The following five days passed in a blur, and before Aaron knew it, the day he was dreading had arrived. He woke up with a groan, memories of that same dream filtering through his brain again, and his day did not improve as it went on, everybody from Liv to his mum and even Bob casting sympathetic glances his way as they tried to distract him with varying degrees of success.

He found himself standing outside the garage that evening, the whole thing bolted up for the night and though he knew he shouldn’t, he couldn’t resist sneaking in. As he walked around the dark space, he ran his finger over the oil drums that they had sat on a year previously, whispered promises to each other in the dark filling his mind and causing tears to prick his eyes. A noise from outside drew him out of his daydream, and he made his way to the door in time to see Bernice, Vanessa and Kerry dressed to the nines as they made their way into the pub.

Deciding to follow them, he was just through the double doors when his interest was piqued by Charity shooting death glares in the direction of the three women who were now joined by Victoria, clearly on her break from the kitchen, and to his surprise, Robert. His heart began to beat rapidly as he took in the other man, looking well dressed and less tired than he had that day at the Mill.

‘’What’s going on over there?’’ He asked as he perched on a stool next to Charity, unable to tear his gaze away from Robert, who was being pulled reluctantly out of his seat by a persistent Bernice, with Vanessa stood next him, a pleading look in her eyes.

‘’I don’t know.’’ Charity finally answered, her own gaze unwavering, ‘’but I don’t like it.’’

‘’Why not?’’

‘’Well whatever it is, Robert’s involved, so that can’t be great can it?’’

‘’I’m sure he’s got more important things on his mind than getting your girlfriend into bother.’’ Aaron fired back, his mind racing with his own words as he wondered if Robert had the same things on his mind that consumed Aaron’s thoughts.

Almost as though he knew Aaron was there and talking about him, Robert looked up, and they locked eyes, a brief look of sadness flickering across his features. Bernice followed his gaze, and she leant down to whisper something in his ear, which drew his attention away and he gave a reluctant nod, much to the delight of the three women.

Aaron and Charity could only watch in fascination as the party departed the pub, waved off by Victoria who headed back behind the bar, ignoring the stares of the two spectators as she headed towards the kitchen.

‘’Hang on a second missus, what was that all about?’’ Charity quizzed, blocking her path before she could disappear from sight.

‘’Girls night out, with Robert as wingman/bodyguard.’’ Vic replied easily, casting a curious look at Aaron. ‘’Problem with that?’’

‘’So she thinks she can just swan off into town with those two beauty school drop outs and Robert and not say anything to me?’’ Charity sniped.

‘’Charity, you took off on holiday without telling her. You’re not tied to her, and she’s not tied to you. She’s entitled to have some fun and not explain herself to you.’’ Vic explained firmly.

‘’And Bernice and Kerry run a salon, so not exactly drop outs.’’ Aaron chimed in helpfully.

‘’And where exactly is she having this…fun?’’ Charity asked bitterly, glaring at Aaron.

‘’That new gay bar in town.’’ Aaron felt his heart drop at Vic’s revelation, but he tried to hide it.

‘’You what? Right, mind the bar Vic, I’ve someplace I need to be.’’

‘’What, no you can’t leave me on my own to man the bar and the kitchen.’’ Vic protested.

‘’And I’m not letting Vanessa think she can get one over on me. I’m going after her.’’

‘’I’ll give you a lift.’’ Aaron offered out of nowhere, taking both women by surprise.

‘’What?’’

‘’I’m bored, I could use some entertainment.’’ Aaron offered by way of explanation, and Charity seemed to accept his answer, even if she gave him a look of annoyance over his description of her love life. He grabbed his keys from the bar, ignoring the knowing look Victoria gave him as to the real reason he was suddenly so keen to do a kind act for Charity. It was merely coincidence that his ex-husband would be in the very same bar on a day like today.

After dumping his car in a nearby carpark, Aaron bundled up his jacket and followed Charity towards the bar, already heaving with punters judging by the queue, but there was no sign of Robert or anyone else in the line, so they must already be inside.

Aaron hovered by the entrance as Charity worked her magic on the doormen to skip the queue, and followed her inside when she gave him the thumbs up.

‘’Right…where would…oh there they are.’’ Charity exclaimed almost instantly as her eyes found Vanessa. ‘’I’m going to show her.’’ She fumed as she strolled determinedly towards the group, but Aaron barely heard a word she said, his own gaze locked on the person he was looking for, leaning casually against the bar and Aaron felt his heart drop when he saw it.

 Robert wasn’t alone.

 Some guy who clearly had a death wish was standing much too close to Aaron’s husband, his hand on Robert’s arm as they chatted easily while sipping on their drinks. Aaron couldn’t tear his eyes away as they talked like old friends, occasionally glancing towards the others who were dancing around their table. Aaron felt a heat curl in the pit of his stomach as he watched this guy, tall with dark hair and biceps lean over and whisper something in Robert’s ear. If it wasn’t for the strobe lighting, Aaron could almost swear that Robert was blushing, and he felt a crushing sadness pass through him at the thought of him moving on.

He couldn’t stand by and do nothing, but his feet felt welded to the spot. He felt a set of eyes on him, and he glanced over to see Bernice watching him intently, but his gaze soon reverted to the bar, yet in that split second, Robert had disappeared and Aaron felt a swell of panic rise up inside him. He glanced around quickly, and saw him heading for the toilets. Making a split second decision, he avoided following him and instead made his way to the bar, positioning himself next to the man Robert had been talking to, not flirting with, Aaron tried to tell himself.

‘’Alright.’’ He offered as he stood next to the guy, who was nursing the last dredges of his pint.

‘’Not bad, you?’’ The stranger replied in a soft Irish lilt, his blue eyes sparkling under the light.

‘’Yea, good.’’ Aaron replied. ‘’So that guy you were talking to?’’

‘’Robert?’’ The stranger replied, and his eyes lit up as he spoke his name. Aaron recognised the look instantly, having worn it well himself over the past few years.

‘’Yea…Robert. I wouldn’t waste my time if I was you.’’

‘’Why, he a serial killer or something?’’ The stranger joked.

‘’No, but he does have a husband.’’

‘’What? He said he wasn’t married anymore.’’ The stranger replied, and Aaron felt his breath hitch.

‘’Going through a tough time of it.’’ Aaron responded levelly, ‘’But seriously mate, I’d get out, you don’t want to get in the middle of those two.’’

‘’Soulmates or something are they?’’ The stranger asked.

‘’Or something…’’ Aaron replied sadly.

‘’Yea okay, point made. I don’t really need the drama. Cheers for the heads up.’’ He replied as he grabbed his coat and disappeared from sight, but his place at the bar was soon taken by Bernice, who glared at Aaron.

‘’What?’’

‘’What did you say to him?’’

‘’Nothing, just chatted to him.’’

‘’And sent him running for the hills.’’ Bernice scoffed. ‘’Tell me what you told him?’’

‘’Nothing much, he clearly just scares easily.’’

‘’Aaron.’’

‘’I told him Robert was married.’’ He finally blurted out, and Bernice looked utterly incredulous and strangely proud at his revelation.

‘’Aaron.’’ She chastised, but there was something resembling a twinkle in her eyes as she spoke his name. Before she could say anything else, Robert appeared behind them and interrupted.

‘’Bernice, what…Aaron, what are you doing here?’’ He asked as he finally noticed him.

‘’Charity needed a lift so she could chase after Vanessa and do some massive declaration or something.’’ Aaron managed to stutter out. ‘’Guess it worked.’’ He finished as they all looked over and found the two women kissing passionately in the corner.

‘’Wow, didn’t think Charity was the romantic declaration kind of person.’’ Robert said softly, his eyes glittering under the strobe lights, which did indescribable things to Aaron’s heart.

‘’Guess people can surprise you.’’ Aaron replied, ignoring Bernice’s curious gaze.

‘’Guess so…Bernice…have you seen Mike?’’ Robert asked as he looked around for the man he’d been talking to.

‘’I think he left, I’m sorry Robert.’’ Bernice said kindly, and Aaron felt a pang in his chest when he saw the disappointed look on Robert’s face. ‘’But Aaron’s here now, more the merrier and all that, so we can still have a good night?’’

‘’Nah, thanks Bernice, but I think I’m gonna get off.’’ Robert replied sadly, refusing to meet Aaron’s gaze. ‘’You’ll get home okay yea? Call me if you need me.’’

‘’Course.’’ Bernice replied as he walked slowly towards the door, not once looking back, but watched all the time by Aaron, whose stare did not go unnoticed by the woman next to him.

‘’I know that look.’’ She said, once her stepbrother had vanished from sight and it was just the two of them amongst the crowd.

‘What look?’’ Aaron scoffed as he dragged his gaze away from the door.

‘’The look that only being in love with a Sugden brother can put on your face. I’ve been there too you know, still am if I’m being honest.’’ Bernice admitted.

‘’I’m not…’’ Aaron tried to argue, but she gazed at him knowingly.

‘’So you just want it both ways then?’’

‘’What?’’

‘’Aaron, I’m not one to pry…’’ Bernice started, ignoring Aaron’s scoff of disbelief. ‘’But you’ve moved on, you have a boyfriend who spends so much time in the village you’d think he doesn’t have a home of his own to go to, and yet you still want Robert to stay where he is and not find anyone?’’

‘’No, but…’’

‘’So you just scared off that perfectly nice guy for no reason then?’’

‘’I was looking out for Robert, and he didn’t seem good enough.’’

‘’Based on what?’’ Aaron ignored her question. ‘’Aaron, we all know what today is, and we also all know what happened on Valentine’s Day…’’

‘’He told you?’’

‘’We pulled it out of him. We knew there had to be more to his moping than just today being what it is.’’

‘’He was…moping?’’ Aaron asked, and he felt a weird sense of relief that Robert still felt the same as he did about their anniversary. ‘’But wait, nothing happened on Valentine’s.’’ He protested weakly.

‘’But you wanted it to, by the sounds of things, or at least he did. And where does that leave Alex?’’

‘’I broke up with Alex.’’

‘’When?’’

‘’Few days ago, what does it matter?’’

‘’Of course it matters Aaron. Honestly you boys are as bad as each other. What are you still doing here talking to me when you could be getting your fella back?’’

‘’He doesn’t want me, not anymore, otherwise he wouldn’t be out here tonight.’’

‘’Yes he does want you idiot, but you’ve turned him down so many times now and had a new boyfriend he had to watch you get close to. He’s not gonna chase you again Aaron.’’ Bernice explained with a hint of derision in her voice.

‘’But…’’

‘’Do you love him?’’

Aaron froze at the question, unable to say anything in response to Bernice’s quizzing, which clearly was good enough for her, judging by the triumphant look on her face.

‘’I knew it.’’

‘’I didn’t say yes.’’

‘’Aaron, if you don’t say no straight away to that question, it’s only because you’re too scared to say yes.’’

‘’I’m not…no I am…scared, but…’’ He choked out after a seemingly unending beat of silence.

‘’But?’’ Bernice encouraged eagerly, a broad smile beginning to break out on her face.

‘’I love him.’’ Aaron finally admitted out loud for the first time in months, and it felt…good was an understatement…overwhelming was more accurate. ‘’I love him Bernice.’’

‘’Well go and fight for him then.’’ she urged, and that was all it took for Aaron to tear out of the bar, pushing through the crowd of punters that had decided to inconveniently enter just as he was trying to leave. Resisting the urge to shout obscenities at them, he finally managed to scramble through the fray just in time to see Robert getting into a taxi.

‘’Robert.’’ He called out, but the rain that had started to fall coupled with the boisterous laughter of drunk revellers drowned him out. Grabbing his keys from his jacket, he narrowly avoided crashing into several people as he made the journey to his car, his seatbelt barely on as he tore out of his space while trying to steady his breathing as he navigated the late night traffic back to the village with only one thought on his mind.

Getting his husband back.

Aaron pulled into the village just as Robert was emerging from his taxi, and he ground his car to a shuddering halt before climbing slowly out of it, his eyes fixed on Robert’s the entire time, despite the falling rain making it difficult to see. The screech of his tyres on the sodden road had alerted Robert to his arrival, and he was now watching him with a mixture of confusion and curiosity as he waited for Aaron to speak. When no words came, he shook his head and paid his fare, choosing to watch the other car depart rather than look at Aaron.

‘’Robert…’’ he eventually choked out.

‘’You’re getting soaked Aaron, go home.’’ Robert said as he averted his gaze.

‘’You don’t want to hear me out?’’ Robert shrugged in response as he took a step further back. ‘’Robert, don’t walk away from me, please.’’

‘’There’s nothing to say Aaron.’’

‘’There’s always something to say with us.’’

‘’Not today there isn’t.’’ Robert said sadly as he turned on his heel and made his way towards Keepers, and Aaron said the only thing he could think to stop him in his tracks.

‘’I should have kissed you.’’ He all but yelled, ignoring the raindrops now making their way down his neck.

‘’What?’’ Robert stuttered, his eyes wide as he slowly turned around.

‘’Last week.’’ Aaron said slowly. ‘’I should have kissed you and never stopped, but I didn’t.’’

‘’No, Aaron…don’t say things you don’t mean.’’

‘’I do mean it. I wanted to kiss you so badly, but I didn’t.’’

‘’Because of Alex?’’

‘’I ended it with him. I never should have started it.’’

‘’Why not?’’

‘’Because I’m in love with someone else. Always have been. Can’t seem to stop, and it’s bloody annoying actually.’’ Aaron said lightly, but his eyes never left Robert’s, searching for a clue as to how he was feeling.

‘’But Seb…nothing’s changed.’’ Robert argued weakly.

‘’Everything’s changed.’’ Aaron countered breathlessly. ‘’Because now, if it’s even possible, I love you more than ever.’’

‘’No you…why?’’

‘’You’ve become the man I always knew you could be. You’re incredible Robert and I love you, and want to be with you, and I’m a complete idiot for not fighting for you sooner.’’

A heavy silence descended between them, broken only by the gentle pattering of rain on the roof of Aaron’s car. He could feel Robert’s gaze burning into him, but the other man was staying resolutely silent, his brow furrowed as he tried to take in what he had just heard.

‘’Say something then.’’ Aaron pleaded quietly as he watched Robert intently.

‘’Aaron…I…’’ Robert stuttered, his voice barely above a whisper and almost drowned out by the rain.

‘’Do you still love me Robert? Do you still want me as much as I want you?’’

Robert could only nod slowly, still clearly convinced that this was a dream.

‘’Then show me.’’

‘’I don’t…’’

‘’Oh, do I have to do everything?’’ Aaron asked in a fit of exasperation, marching determinedly towards Robert and grabbing his face before he crushed their lips together in a desperate, searing kiss that made every part of his body tremble in a way that had nothing to do with the water running down his back. It was everything he remembered kisses with Robert to be, but Aaron could feel the other man’s hesitation, and he pulled back, immediately concerned that he had read it completely incorrectly.

‘’Robert, I…’’ but his next words were ripped from him by the force of Robert’s lips on his, pressing their mouths together as he snaked his arms around Aaron’s back and pulled him in so that they could feel the heat radiating off each other, despite the cold. Robert’s lips were tender, but they worked with single-minded determination, pressing bruising kisses to Aaron’s lips as they enveloped each other in their arms. Aaron didn’t care that he was soaked to the bone, and that he’d likely have the world’s worst cold come morning, because all he cared about was kissing the love of his life for all he was worth.

Eventually, after what seemed like an eternity, they pulled slightly away from each other, but still kept as close as humanly possible.

‘’That...was quite the declaration.’’ Robert breathed heavily as he looked into Aaron’s eyes, sending a shiver right down to his toes.

‘’Told you people can surprise you. I love you Robert, so much.’’

‘’I love you more.’’

Aaron smiled softly as he heard the words he had missed so much over the past few months, but then his face took on a curious look that had Robert stroking his cheek in concern.

‘’Aaron, what is it?’’ Robert asked curiously, worry crinkling his brows, something Aaron thought was utterly adorable, not that he’d ever say it aloud.

‘’You were right you know, what you said last year?’’ He said softly, his fingers stroking Robert’s rhythmically.

‘’About what?’’

‘’A year has passed, and I came home to you, just like you said I would.’’

Robert let out the most glorious sounding sigh Aaron had ever heard, and he couldn’t hold back his own sigh as Robert pressed their foreheads together.

‘’We’ll never look back?’’ Robert asked shyly as he looked into Aaron’s eyes.

‘’Not for one second.’’ Aaron confirmed softly and confidently as he pressed another kiss to Robert’s lips. ‘’Happy anniversary.’’