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“If you’re going to kill me, could you do it quickly?”
“I won’t, I promised.”
Jungkook deliberately makes his steps louder but Seokjin still tenses when he feels the bed dip and Jungkook’s gentle hand on his shoulder.
“Are you cold?”
“I’m okay.”
They were still making leaps and bounds in the trust department when Seokjin had suggested it one day. Here he was, lying on their bed with a silk, pink tie around his eyes and clad only in his briefs. The sight of him was breathtaking. But despite his best efforts to suppress his instincts he was as tense as a coiled spring beneath Jungkook’s hand. He knows how vulnerable and exposed Seokjin must feel and the fact that Seokjin was willingly braving it for him, warms him to the very core. Jungkook laces his other hand with one of Seokjin’s and it helps in letting him account for the presence for both of them. Their hands were one of the greatest weapons they wielded as assassins.
"It's okay, hyung. We can stop at any time if it becomes too much," he murmurs when Seokjin has his teeth gritted slightly, aways silent in his suffering.
Seokjin swivels his neck so sharply towards the sound of his voice that he was afraid it might break. “No, I’m okay." I trust you. And the last thing Jungkook would do was destroy the fragile trust that had taken painstaking effort to nurture. He doesn’t think Seokjin would kill him but he doesn't doubt Seokjin's ability to take him down even whilst blind.
“You look really good.” Jungkook nuzzles against Seokjin’s jawline comfortingly, playing with the end of the blindfold. “You’re so beautiful, hyung.”
The transparent sincerity in his tone makes the corners of Seokjin’s mouth lift into the barest hint of a smile. Gently, Jungkook pecks his cheek and movements abrupt, Seokjin turns to brush their noses together. Seokjin tangles his other hand into his hair, drawing him close and mapping him in his darkness. Finding that reassuring, Jungkook takes Seokjin's hand and guides it down his body, shivering under Seokjin's wandering touch. He lets Seokjin determine for himself that he is devoid of weapons as he lingers on the areas that should’ve been marred by bullet holes.
Seokjin had found it curious that his body was devoid of scars. Jungkook’s organisation had a division for biochemistry and they devised medicines that dialled up the healing process to a thousand. He’s certain that had it not been for that, Seokjin would’ve put the pieces together a lot sooner. When he asked about Seokjin's own body that was just as flawless as porcelain, Seokjin's face had fallen blank. In a voice that wasn't his, Seokjin said that his agency 'wipes him clean'. Every anecdote he hears about Seokjin’s old agency, makes him viciously grateful that Seokjin had left them years ago. Here, Jungkook yields complete control to him. Seokjin grows more bold and find the places he knows where Jungkook is sensitive until he is mewling, mercilessly tickling him.
"Hyung!" He admonishes, lost to the sound of Seokjin’s bright laughter.
Jungkook guides Seokjin's hand back to his face, lets Seokjin trace over his lips, his nose and his cheekbones with such delicate care that it was easy to forget that a cruelty was contained within them. A breathless contradiction that only he got to experience. Seokjin lingers on his nose, a part that Seokjin had always adored, trailing his fingertips along his nose bridge, softly giggling to himself as Jungkook watches in utter fondness, feeling like his heart would explode.
Seokjin smiles breaks over his face like dawn. "Jungkookie," he says in soft wonder.
Jungkook wonders if Seokjin can hear how loud his heart is beating from how it sounds to his own ears. “I love you,” he says suddenly.
Seokjin’s smile grow impossibly wide and he wishes he could see the way that his eyes would radiate affection. “I love you more.”
Seokjins lips part in a silent moan when Jungkook leaves a trail of gentle kisses down the length of his body, slow and measured. He can feel Seokjin tremble every time he brushes his lips against him. Carefully, Jungkook moves his hand to his waist and then his hip, vigilant to Seokjin’s discomfort, still holding onto his other hand tightly.
“Are you okay?”
Seokjin reaches out for him, lines creasing his brow and Jungkook lowers his face into his hand, where he cups his face. "I trust you."
Their world was nothing but lies masked as deception masqueraded as an enigma. It was easier to dismiss everything that came from a person’s mouth as all that spilled from their lips was corrosive poison. It's impossible to underestimate the extent of Seokjin's love for him by willingly putting himself in such a vulnerable position and trusting Jungkook with absolute certainty.
"That's it, you're doing so well, hyung," Jungkook says encouragingly, careful to mind this throat and ghosts his lips against the underside of Seokjin's jaw instead.
In this state, Seokjin is more sensitive than usual, gasping when Jungkook grazes his lips along his inner thigh and hooks his leg over his shoulder. “Relax,” he murmurs. The grip on his hand tightens when Jungkook’s breaths fan over his skin. Later, they can try experimentation and testing limits but for now, Seokjin's comfort comes first. Always.
Jungkook trails his hand up Seokjin’s side, murmurs endearments to him until the smile returns to his face. He knows that it isn’t a few gentle touches that won over the conditioning. It’s built upon years of trust, even when they thought of the other as a civilian and of them always unguarded with their affection for each other.
“I love you,” Jungkook finds himself saying. “I love you more than anything else in the world.”
“Right back at you.”
“Wow, I give you a sincere declaration of love and that’s all I’m going to get back?” Jungkook cries, mock hurt.
Seokjin smiles as though he can see Jungkook’s pout. “You’re my centre.” It’s how effortlessly Seokjin can say things like, like it was absolute, irrefutable truth that leaves him debilitated. Knowing full well of the effect he has on him, Seokjin murmurs, “Come here, baby.”
Jungkook whines and kisses his cheek. Seokjin turns his head to capture their lips together and he tangles his hand in Jungkook’s hair to pull him in closer and deepen their kiss, more self-assured than he had been when they had started. “Love you,” Seokjin murmurs with a final peck against his lips.
The grip on Jungkook’s hand tightens again when Jungkook eases himself into him. Jungkook places soft, barely there kisses onto Seokjin’s inner thigh, tracing patterns into his hip until Seokjin shudders and nods, urging him to continue. As he waits for Seokjin to adjust, he caresses his cheek with a delicate touch and dots tiny kisses over his face until Seokjin falls pliant for him.
“Please move,” Seokjin says, slightly strained in a way that makes Jungkook groan.
The pink of the blindfold stands out so beautifully against Seokjin’s golden skin, plays off so prettily against the faint blush adorned across his cheeks. But it was always Seokjin’s eyes that were so emotive, vibrant and he yearns to see Seokjin's face, to see the pleasure he brings him play out openly across his features. With a deft flick of his wrist, the blindfold falls in a puddle of pink silk. Seokjin blinks several times from the sudden onslaught in light. For a moment, the eyes of a killer stare piercingly back at him but it melts away into a warm smile when Seokjin sees Jungkook hovering over him. It’s amazing just how effortlessly Seokjin brings him euphoria.
“Jungkook,” Seokjin says, full of such reverence that Jungkook has to lean down to kiss him, cradling the side of his face as he rocks his hips into him.
Afterwards, Seokjin’s heart is still racing, his nerves strung out and frayed from battling his conditioning. Jungkook holds him in his arms, laying his hand as a warm, comforting weight over his chest as Seokjin works to control his breathing. He lays kisses against Seokjin’s shoulder, hearing him hum in contentment and wonders how it'll feel, knowing that Seokjin would be just as gentle with him, to have his hands so tenderly on his body.
"I want to try." Seokjin laughs at his eagerness as he reaches for the blindfold, tying it around his eyes.
He can understand the apprehension that Seokjin must've have felt, being so cut off from one of his imperative senses. It's nothing but darkness and he has to fight back the creeping paranoia that a weapon will be trained on him. Curiosity is swiftly quelled. He wants nothing but to tear the blindfold from his eyes and restore his vision.
“Hyung?” He calls out, slightly panicked.
“I’m here. I’m right here, baby,” Seokjin murmurs, quick to comfort him.
Seokjin lays a warm hand on his hip whilst the other laces their fingers together and Jungkook sighs in quiet relief. Seokjin presses his lips against his cheek and he turns his head, seeking his lips and whining when he feels Seokjin pull away. It lasts only a second before Seokjin slots their lips together again and he braces his hand on Seokjin’s neck, marvelling the velvety soft skin beneath his fingertips.
“Remember, we can stop anytime,” Seokjin urges against his lips.
“I trust you.” He hears Seokjin’s sharp intake of breath. “I want this.”
"I wish you could see yourself how I see you right now. You’re so pretty, baby,” Seokjin whispers huskily into his ear and he whimpers at that, squeezing his nape harder.
Like he had done for him earlier, Seokjin takes the hand that isn’t interlaced with his and places it on his shoulder. Jungkook’s lips part in concentration as his hand roams across Seokjin's body and feels it reverberate when Seokjin laughs. "So cute.”
"Okay, I swear your shoulders grew," Jungkook mumbles, fingers traversing along its length that didn't seem to end until he exaggeratedly threw his hand to the side, gripping thin air.
"Something you'd like. It was what you fell for at first sight," Seokjin muses, taking Jungkook's hand and placing it on the curve of his shoulder when he frowns. Now that his time in the dark was over, Seokjin sounds lighter again, that makes Jungkook smile.
From there, he continues his careful exploration, grazing his fingers over Seokjin's clavicles, brushing teasingly over a nipple just to feel him jolt before he traces the lines of his chest, where it feels like a guide of the contours on Seokjin’s body. He moves slowly, learning Seokjin's body all over again and feeling it rise and fall with each breath he takes. Seokjin lets him take his time and every second that passes, he can feel himself relax. It's Seokjin. Only Seokjin. His husband. Seokjin tries to stay still even when he brushes against his length. He can feel Seokjin's glare and he can't suppress his smile, innocently wandering back to his thigh marvelling the lines of his muscle and his soft skin.
He nuzzles into the juncture of Seokjin’s neck, the familiar scent of Seokjin washing over him and his anxiousness away. He places a soft kiss there before he bites down, spurred on by Seokjin’s low moans in his ear and brushes his fingers where the splash of violet would be. When Jungkook pulls his hand free, he thinks he may have heard Seokjin utter a sound of hurt. But he merely reaches up, holding Seokjin's face between his hands, pressing their foreheads together.
"My husband," he whispers. He swallows Seokjin's gasp when he kisses him, holding him close. It’s weakness that lets him become intimate to another killer but to Seokjin, it’s only a mark of the strength of their trust.
“What do you want, baby?”
“I want you.”
“And you’ll always have me.” Seokjin murmurs, lips brushing against Jungkook's throat.
"Oh, fuck," Jungkook moans, his grip on Seokjin's hand tightening.
“God, I want you to fuck me like this,” Seokjin groans.
The thought sends a white-hot desire coursing through him. Something that can be saved for next time but for the moment, there’s nothing else that he wants more than to feel Seokjin inside him. “Hurry up and fuck me," Jungkook commands, turning his head to where he thinks Seokjin is.
He should've known better than to demand as Seokjin's lips ghost his body as he traverses lower making him whimper. He arches his back when he feels Seokjin’s soft lips against his skin, places his hands purposefully on Jungkook’s body that serves as his only grounding point. He feels anything but vulnerable under Seokjin’s gentle ministrations. Everything feels heightened in this state and Jungkook lets out a surprised cry when he feels Seokjin’s tongue slicking into the creases of his abs.
Never for a second does Seokjin stop touching him, their hands are still interlaced whilst the other is his anchor. He tenses in anticipation when he feels Seokjin’s soft hair between his thighs. Feeling how taut he is, Seokjin kisses the side of his mouth, redirecting his focus back onto him.
“Is this still okay, baby?” Seokjin asks softly. Pain was a constant in their professions. They were trained to be iron and to eschew any vestige of gentleness. He never thought it was something that he deserved or wanted. How on earth did he end up with someone so considerate despite what he was.
“Please.”
Seokjin gently strokes his hip bone and normally, the gesture would’ve been soothing. But already tightly wound up, it brings him closer to the edge and a hint of frustration seeps through his cry.
He grips onto Seokjin's shoulder and feels the powerful muscles ripple beneath his fingertips. He's at the very edge of the cliff, about to tumble into the depth of intensity, when the blindfold slips off his eyes. He knows Seokjin must've been yearning to see his face as much as he does even as he goes rigid, the instinct of risk assessment taking over before he comprehends it's only Seokjin looming over him. His husband that loves and trusts him beyond anything else in this world.
An infinite things crash over him at once as he pulls Seokjin down for their lips to meet, winding his thighs around his waist and pulling him in impossibly close until their bodies are flush together.
They’re still coming down from their high and Jungkook can’t stop pressing kisses to everywhere that he can reach eliciting giggles from Seokjin, utterly sated. Their hands still tightly clasped together. That was an exercise in the rawest form of trust. All this makes every hardship worthwhile. Now his only regret was that he didn’t divulge to Seokjin his profession earlier.
"We should try with headphones next time," Jungkook suggests, laying his head on Seokjin’s chest and feeling the comforting thump of his heart beneath him.
"Are you sure? We don't need to rush things.” Seokjin sounds surprised, if not pleased, holding him close and kissing the top of his head.
Jungkook nods, pressing his lips to the back of his hand. He had liked that, where Seokjin was the only tether in his universe. He gives Jungkook gentleness where he’s only known violence. Seokjin makes him feel completely safe in his presence.
“I’m so lucky to have you,” Seokjin sighs.
“You know, I’m not as pure as you think I am anymore, right?” Jungkook turns over, cocks his head to the side and smiles up at Seokjin. “Have I told you how I killed a man with my thighs?”
“Why? Did he look at them?” Seokjin asks, playing along, a devious sparkle in his eyes.
“I’m sure he got a good look at them when they were wrapped around his neck,” Jungkook says casually.
“That’s not a bad way to go.” Jungkook looks particularly content at that. Seokjin strokes his cheek with his thumb, a soft smile alighting his features. “I never thought that it was possible that you could know exactly what I am and still look at me like this. I always thought it would be fear … or revulsion, not …” Seokjin trails off like he doesn’t dare to say the word aloud.
“Love,” Jungkook offers and the ease in which he says it makes Seokjin squeeze his hand tighter.
“I didn’t love you only because I thought you were a civilian.”
“I know, it’s because I’m so cute and wonderful and how else could you resist falling in love with me?” his words are lighthearted but it was the same fear that Jungkook had harboured for years. It had filled him with immeasurable pain to be dishonest to Seokjin who had only given him everything.
“You were a sanctuary before. But we would never have been able to speak like this. It’s … liberating. It was already incredible that you came into my life and I was endlessly thankful for that. But for you to be exactly what I am, to understand everything that comes with it and to still be so gentle with me… it feels like a dream,” Seokjin says in a rush.
“Right back at you,” Jungkook echoes.
Seokjin laughs and Jungkook feels him smile when he kisses him and presses their foreheads together. It’s easy to talk about this now but it was only through immense sacrifice could they get to this point. In order to walk on clouds, they were nearly crushed from the weight of their vulnerability. Each time, they had never failed each other. Now, Seokjin tends to his wounds in the broad daylight of their living room instead of behind closed doors. And when they have overlapping targets, they negotiate on who has the higher price. Jungkook doesn’t need to be a prettied up version of himself to deserve Seokjin’s love.
“I love you,” Seokjin says.
“I love you more,” Jungkook says back like it was a competition to show who held more affection for each other.