Chapter Text
“Wake up, child”
A gentle hand slowly shook Solana awake. Her eyes shot open as she attempted to make out the features of the dark dormitory. After a few seconds, First Enchanter Irving's’ kind, wrinkled face came into view,
“Come now, child, your Harrowing awaits.”
Solana’s throat seemed to close, how was it already time? She could have sworn she had a few weeks left to prepare. Slowly she sat up, her eyes adjusted to the dark just enough to see the group of templars surrounding her bed. The soft sounds of the fellow apprentice’s snores filled the large room as Solana pulled herself from her bed. Irving held out his hand to steady her, his eyes holding a sadness in them as she walked forward.
In nothing more than a silk robe, the cold night air sent goosebumps across her pale skin. The soft sound of her bare feet padding along the corridors was drowned out by the monstrous clang of the templar’s pate boots echoing through the stone hallway. At night the Circle’s corridors felt hauntingly empty. Save for the occasional templar standing watch there was no one to be seen. The normal hum of conversation was gone, replaced only with the soft sounds of snoring and the occasional hacking cough. Solana was surprised that she didn’t see apprentices awaken suddenly as she and her group of templars marched through the halls. Maker they were loud. She stole a quick peek around at the templars escorting her. In the dim light she couldn’t make them out individually- their helmets obstructing her view. But they stared straight ahead with an indifference to her situation. It reminded her of her first night at the Ferelden Circle.
The templars had pulled her out of the carriage and shuffled her to a small dock. In her small hands she clutched a small bag containing the only belongings she had. Her hair slicked to her face as the rain came down sideways. The templar that helped her down pulled off his cloak and wrapped it around her and took her hand,
“C’mon now, little one, let’s get ya outta this rain, yeah?”
But it would be awhile before she was out of the rain. The kind templar lowered her down into the small row boat and they made their way across Lake Calenhad- the Circle looming ahead menacingly. She had been at the Circle in Kirkwall all her life- that was until her older brother was found to have been a mage as well. So she was to be moved, far away to a Circle that was looking specifically to train children. But just like tonight, she had been smuggled into the Circle in the dead of night. The only difference between then and now was at least she was dry. She was still equally afraid.
As they rounded a stairway, more templars came into view. They stood in a circle lining the room, their plate armor shining in the blue light of the lyrium in the center of the room. Knight Commander Greagoir stood with his arms crossed, his face perpetually stuck like he smelled something awful.
“I see you felt no rush getting here, Irving.” Greagoir remarked with narrowed eyes, “Let us get this ceremony underway.”
The templars that had escorted her here dispersed into the circle save one. He stayed behind her as the First Enchanted took her by the arm and walked her to the center of the room.
“Magic exists to serve man, never to rule over him.” Ser Greagoir quoted, “Thus spoke the prophet andraste as she cast down the Tevinter Imperium, ruined by mages who had brought the world to the edge of ruin.” He turned to face Solana, his eyes narrowing on her, “Your magic is a gift, but also a curse, for demons of the dream realm -- the Fade-- are drawn to you, and seek to use you as a gateway to this world.”
Solana swallowed, her hands beginning to become clammy. She knew it was true. It had been pounded into them since their magic was revealed. Her magic came at a price. And that price could be the lives of anyone she cared for if she ever let a Demon in. As if feeling her anxiousness, First enchanter Irving placed a kind hand on her shoulder, “This is why the Harrowing exists. The ritual sends you into the Fade, and there you will face a Demon, armed with only your will.” he gave her shoulder a soft squeeze, “Do you understand, child?”
Solana nodded, “I’m ready, First Enchanter.”
Her stomach was in knots and her hands wouldn’t stop shaking. There was no use fighting it. She had to be ready. If she wasn’t it only meant death. Ser Greagoir seemed to have read her mind as he stepped toward her, “Know this, apprentice. If you fail, we templars will perform our duty. You will die.”
He strode past her and stood next to the lyrium in the center of the room, “This is lyrium, the very essence of magic. And your gateway into the Fade.”
Irving grasped both of her shoulders as he took a step closer to her, “The Harrowing is a secret out of necessity, child. Every mage must go through this trial by fire,” His voice was soft and hushed and he had a kind smile spread across his face all the way to his eyes, “As we succeeded, so shall you. Keep your wits about you and remember the fade is a realm of dreams. The spirits may rule it, but your own will is real.” Greagoir stepped toward her and Irving dropped his hands from her shoulders quickly,
“The apprentice must go through this test alone , First Enchanter.” Greagoir looked her in the eyes, a flicker of kindness in them for the first time, “You are ready.” He motioned to the lyrium and nodded his head.
Slowly she stepped towards the glow of the lyrium, the hairs on the back of her neck standing on edge as she reached her hand out. She was ready. She had to be. Her knees buckled as her hand was engulfed in the light. Quick hands grabbed her under the arms as she went tumbling down. Her vision slowly fading. The last thing she saw before everything faded away was the softness of a pair of hazel eyes looking down at her from beneath a plate helmet.
~
The world was hazy, like she was seeing everything from behind a veil. Her mousy brown hair seemed to float ever so slightly around her head and the sounds she heard were most definitely not from Thedas. The mournful moans echoed through the bright land as she stumbled forward. Her feet seemed to be heavy and sluggish. It took quite a lot of concentration to move forward without feeling as if she were about to fall. So this is the fade, she thought, trying to focus on the details of the place. But whenever she seemed to focus, the world would become hazy once more. Just ahead of her a ball of light bounced in the air. She stopped, peering at it from afar. It seemed to be going about its own business so she let it be and turned to face a rather disturbing statue. The statue filled her with unease the longer she stared at it though she couldn’t quite make out the details of it. Everytime she focused on an area, it shifted. Changing. She shook her head and made her way toward the path the dancing wisp was on. It seemed the only way for her to go. As she neared closer to the ball of light its dance changed. It became more aggravated. Shaking violently in the air as if it were charging. A moment later a second ball of light shot from the wisp and hit her square in the chest. The light that hit her sent a shock through her body, a sensation that wasn’t quite painful, but definitely uncomfortable.
“The fuck…”
She concentrated her thoughts and focused her energy at the wisp and shot a ball of frost at it. As the spell hit the aggressive light it froze and fell to the ground, shattering.
“Well shit,” She hadn’t meant to kill it. She paused for a moment, did she kill it? Could things actually die here? When she got out of here she would need to do some research into the matter. She followed the path down the hill further, freezing two more wisps before spotting something at the base of the hill. She stopped, peering down at it from afar. It seemed to be a...large rat. Puzzled she readied a spell, just in case this rat was just as aggressive as the wisps. As she neared the rat it spoke. She was taken aback. Its voice smooth and deep,
“Someone else thrown to the wolves. As fresh and unprepared as ever. It isn’t right that they do this, the templars. Not to you, me, anyone.”
She dropped her spell, lifting a brow at the rat, “What have the templars done to you? You’re a talking rat.”
The rat scoffed at her, “You think you’re really here? In that body? You look like that because you think you do!” He sighed, “It’s always the same. But it’s not your fault. You’re in the same boat as I was, aren’t you?” A flash of light swallowed the rat and Solana covered her eyes. When the light faded, in the rats spot stood a man in robes, “Allow me to welcome you to the Fade. you can call me...well, Mouse.”
She snorted, “That’s not your real name, I take it?”
He shook his head, his voice dropping, “No. No, I don’t remember anything from...before.” He stepped forward to place his hands on her shoulders but she sidestepped him, “The templars will kill you if you take too long, you see. They figure you failed, and they don’t want something getting out.”
Her eyes grew wide, she hadn’t have thought of that. She had heard of Harrowings that took days to complete. Neria’s had only taken two days, the fastest so far. But she never thought of what would happen if you took longer. And how was she to tell how long she was here? Neria told her as much as she could without breaking her oath. She told her that time was different. While her Harrowing took two days in the Circle, it only felt like half a day in the Fade.
“That’s what they did to me, I think. I have no body left to reclaim, And you don’t have much time before you end up the same.” Mouse warned, bringing her back from her thoughts.
“Then I must hurry. For that will not happen to me.” she cracked her knuckles. She did that when she was nervous. But she could be as nervous as she was. But she couldn’t fail. She wasn’t going to be trapped here for the rest of eternity.
“That has been said before, but you do not know the danger.” He checked over his shoulder, “There is something here, contained, just for an apprentice like you. You have to face the creature, a Demon, and resist it...If you can. That’s your way out. Or your opponent’s if the templars wouldn’t kill you. A test for you. A tease for the creatures of the Fade.”
Solana crossed her arms across her chest, “Anything can die, I doubt it’s as simple as that.”
“You would be a fool to just attack anything you see. What you face is powerful, cunning.” Mouse looked out to the hazy plain ahead of them, “There are others here, other spirits. They will tell you more, maybe help. If you can believe anything you see.” He turned back to her, “I’ll follow if that’s alright. My chance was long ago, but you...you may have a way out.” A flash of light surrounded him once more and in his stead stood a rat again.
Solana was weary. Something about this place put her off. She couldn’t tell if she should trust him or not. Or if it was just the Fade playing tricks on her. But she decided to take a chance. She didn’t need to trust this “Mouse”, but she could use him to aid in her efforts to get out. She nodded to the rat, “Fine, you may follow. But know this. I do not trust you yet. But I would be a fool to turn down help when I know so little of this test.” She turned down the hill and heard him scampering behind her. She passed a small clearing surrounded by flames.
“Do not go there unless you are ready to fight.” Mouse warned. She paused, just outside the ring of flames, “Is that where I will face the Demon?” The rat stood up on his back legs and nodded, “It is where it will appear when you are finally ready.” She nodded, as ready as she felt to simply get it over and done with. She knew she would need more help before she was fully ready.
She turned from the clearing and walked the path towards the plain. Another wisp sent a ball of light at her, causing her fingers to go numb. Like when you fall asleep with your hand above your head and you wake up with that odd pain and tingling. She shot a spell of frost at it and watched it shatter on the ground. Wisps were awfully annoying. Next to the shattered wisp was an eerie twisted statue. She shuddered, it too had that feeling of uneasiness that caused her stomach to turn. She turned away and saw a simmering figure standing a few yards away. It looked like a templar, clad in armor made of bright lights. She felt the uneasiness of the statue and the Fade begin to fade as she walked toward the spirit.
“Another mortal thrown into the flames and left to burn, I see.” The spirit said, his voice deep and resonating, “Your mages have devised a cowardly test. Better you were pitted against each other to prove your mettle with skill, than to be sent unarmed against a Demon.”
Solana sighed in agreement, “So you know why I’m here.”
“You are not the first sent here for such testing. Nor shall you be the last, I suspect. That you remain means you have not yet defeated your hunter. I wish you a glorious battle to come.”
“Thank you, Ser Spirit…” Her eyes drifted to the shimmering weapons behind him, “Did you create those?” If she could get her hands on one, she could probably channel her magic through it and be more ready for the Demon.
“They are brought into being by my will. I understand in your world, mages are the only ones who can will things into being. Those mortals who cannot must lead such hollow, empty lives.”
Solana laughed softly, she hadn’t really thought of it, “Would one of these weapons affect the Demon?”
The spirit nodded, “Without a doubt. In this realm, everything that exists is the expression of a thought. Do you think these blades be steel? The staves be wood? Do you believe they draw blood? A weapon is a single need for battle, and my will makes that need reality.” The spirit cocked his head to the side, as if inspecting Solana, “Do you truly desire one of my weapons? I will give one to you… if you agree to duel me, first. Valor shall test your mettle as it should be tested.”
Mouse twitched uncomfortably behind her as she nodded, “I accept your duel, Valor.”
A smile crossed Valor’s lips under his helm, “As you wish, mortal. We will battle until I am convinced you are strong enough to defeat your demon. If you do not convince me, I will slay you. Are these rules understood?”
Solana fought to keep the surprise from her face. She didn’t expect that. But she nodded, “Yes.”
A shimmering shield and sword appeared in his hands as he held his arms above his head, “Our dule begins now! Fight with Valor!”
She didn’t have much time to react. She concentrated her will and felt the familiar feeling of electricity tickle her neck as she sent lightning from her fingertips. She spun out of the arch of his blade and tossed a freezing bolt toward him, stopping him mid swing. He stood like a shimmering, frosty statue as she sent more lightning at him. After the third shock of electricity the frost spell wore off and he fell to the ground, his hand coming up to signal his surrender,
“Enough! Your strength is sufficient to the task. The staff is yours.”
He struggled to stand and Solana grabbed his armored arm and helped him up, “Thank you, mage.” his voice rumbled through her, like he was speaking in her. He retrieved a staff from the weapons rack and held it out to her. The shimmering light faded as she wrapped her hands around it. It felt solid and rough, like a real staff, “Thank you, Ser Valor.”
As Solana turned away from the Spirit of Valor, Mouse started down a path, “There may be more help this way.”
She followed and was almost immediately set upon by a spectral wolf. The same shimmering light that surrounded the spirit surrounded the wolf as it lunged at her. She knocked it upside the head with her staff, dazing it for a moment as she summoned a frostbolt at it. The wood of her staff frosted over and chilled her hand as she spun, flinging it at the wolf. Just like the wisps, as the bolt made contact with the wolf it froze and shattered as it fell to the ground. She smirked happily, the staff definitely helped center her magic. This Demon wasn’t going to stand a chance.
Further up the path she saw a shape resting on a hill. It looked like a bear. A monstrous bear. Spikes sticking out of its back and missing patches of fur. She stopped at the base of the hill, “Is that the Demon? The one I need to face?” She looked down to Mouse.
“No, that is a Sloth Demon. It does not hunt apprentices. Its nature doesn’t make well for hunting. Though maybe it will be able to help you as the spirit did…”
Solana frowned, “I am to be defeating my Demon, not consorting with them. I don’t feel right about this. I will talk to it, but at the first feeling of unease, I will slay it.”
She made her way up the hill a feeling of exhaustion washing over her as she neared the Demon. Before she could even speak, a deep rumbling came forth from the demonic bear, “Hmm...So you are the mortal being hunted? And the small one...Is he to be a snack for me?” His voice was slow and deep, like an exhausted old man close to death.
Light flashed around Mouse once again and in the rats place stood he in his human form, crossing his arms across his chest.
“No matter,” the Demon sniffed,”The Demon will get you eventually, and perhaps there will be scraps left.” He yawned as he slowly stood up, stretching out his grotesque form.
Solana frowned, “So I take that as you are not here to help?”
The bear shook his large head, “You have a very,” he yawned once more, settling down in the hazy dirt, “Nice staff. Why do you need my help? Go, use your staff since you have earned it. Be valorous.”
Solana shrugged, very well. She went to turn away but Mouse grabbed her arm. She shuddered and retched it away.
“He looks powerful, it might be possible that he could...teach you to be like him.”
Solana grimaced, “Why would I want to be like him. I have a staff. I don’t need to be a plagued-”
The bear interrupted her, “Like me? You mean teach the mortal to take this form? Why? Most mortals are too attached to their forms to learn the change…” He yawned, standing up and shaking his weight from side to side, “You, on the other hand, little one, might be a better student. You let go of the human form years ago.”
Mouse stammered, “I-I-I don’t think I’d make a very good bear. How would I hide?”
Solana turned to him, placing her hands on her hips, “Hiding doesn’t help anyone. And how will being a mouse help me defeat the Demon? We need to face our fears.” Anger crossed his face, “We?I have faced more in this place than you can imagine,” he snarled. His anger subsided, “Fear is...just one more thing… But… You’re right. Hiding doesn’t help. I’m sorry. It’s the Fade. It changes you.” He turned to face the bear, “I’ll try. I’ll try to be a bear. If you’ll teach me.”
The bear yawned, “That’s nice. But teaching is so exhausting. Away with you now.”
“You can’t just suggest something and then change your mind!”
The bear sighed, “You truly wish to learn my form, little one? Fine. Then I have a challenge for your friend: Answer three riddles correctly, and I will teach him. Fail and I will devour you both. The decision is yours.”
Solana groaned, “Maker have mercy. This is taking too long. Yes. Fine. I accept your challenge, Sloth.”
The bear made himself comfortable and smiled slyly, “I have seas with no water, coasts with no sand, towns without people, and mountains without land. What am I?” Solana sighed with disinterest. Neria was the master of riddles and while they were both apprentices, she bombarded her with riddles during their studies, “A map.” she said dryly, “Next please.”
A sigh escaped the bear, “I am rarely touched, but often held. If you have wit, you’ll use me well. What am I?” She groaned, she knew it. It was on the tip of her tongue what was it. She chuckled to herself. Tip of her tongue. “Tongue.”
The Demon rolled his eyes slowly, “Yes, your witty tongue. Last riddle: Often I will spin a tale; never will I charge a fee. I’ll amuse you an entire eve, but, alas you won’t remember me. What am I?” Feeling a bit of pride, as she had stumped Neria with this one a fortnight ago she answered quickly, “A dream, Sloth.”
“Yes, a fleeting dream. And as promised I will teach the little one to be a bear.”
Solana made a mental note to thank Neria once she got out of here. She’d love to know it was because of her constant riddle that Solana passed her Harrowing.
~
Solana stood, stretching her arms and gathering up her staff as she looked at Mouse, now shaped like a large black bear. Not as demonic as Sloth, but still a bear.
“That took far too long. Are you ready? Because I am going to confront it. I can not waste anymore time.”
Mouse nodded, “I think this will work. I feel heavy. Thank you, Sloth.” The demon rolled his eyes and covered his eyes with a plagued paw, “Go, then, and defeat your demon...or whatever you intend to do. I grow weary of your mortal prattering.”
“Good, let us go.” Solana made her way down the small hill and broke into a run towards the clearing surrounded by fire. She had wasted too much time. She didn’t need Mouse to be a bear, to be honest she didn’t need Mouse at all. At the time it like it would help, but now she feared it would only contribute to her death. It felt like she had been here for days. She didn't have much time left and she wasn’t going to waste it walking. The Fade made running hard. She felt like her legs were being pulled by the ground but she struggled through, determined to get to the clearing. She was ready to face her hunter.
As she stepped into the clearing the fire closed the gap behind her and a monster made of fire and lava rose from the ground. The heat of the clearing burned her cheeks in the most uncomfortable way. Like a very hot summer where you couldn’t find reprieve in the shade of a tree.
“And so it comes to me at last...Soon I shall see the land of the living with your eyes, creature. You shall be be mine, body and soul.”
No longer afraid of the demon, more afraid of running out of time, Solana rolled her eyes, “Then come and get me, Demon.”
A menacing smile spread across his face, “Oh I shall.” He growled, his voice rough. He looked to Mouse, “So this creature is your offering, Mouse? Another plaything, per our arrangement?” Solana glared at Mouse, “What? You betrayed me! I knew not to trust you.”
Mouse covered his face with his hands in shame and shook his head, “No! It’s not like that.” He lowered his hands and glared at the demon, “I’m not offering you anything! I don’t have to help you anymore! I don’t have to hide!”
“Awww and after all those wonderful meals we shared ? Now suddenly the mouse has changed the rules?”
“I’m not a mouse now! And I won’t have to hide! I don’t need to bargain with you!” A flash of bright light engulfed Mouse and he transformed into a bear and charged as the demon spoke, “We shall see.”
Solana immediately summoned a wall of frost at the Rage Demon. Slowing it as Mouse raked his massive paws at it. Solana knew Mouse wasn’t to be trusted and she didn’t care if he died during this fight. But at the moment he was helping. So let him take the brunt of the damage as she lobbed frostbolt after frostbolt at the demon. She channeled a large amount of energy into the spell. The staff in her hands iced over and the cold burned her hands but she didn’t think about it. Instead she shot the ball of ice forward and hit the demon square in the head. His body froze, the lava turning a smokey black and hardening. Mouse landed one final swipe of his paw at the demon and it shattered in a shower of rock. Mouse transformed back into a human and beamed at her as she leaned against her staff, a bit winded.
“You did it! You actually did it! When you came, I hoped that maybe you might be able to...but I never really thought any of you were worthy.”
Solana scoffed, “Don’t play me, Mouse. This is all too easy.”
He raised his hands in the air, “That’s because you are a true mage! One of few!” He stepped closer and Solana took a step back, he was making her feel uneasy again, “The others, they never stood a chance. The templars set them up to fail, like they tried with you. I regret my part in it, but you have shown me that there is hope. You can be so much more than you know…” Solana crossed her arms, silent. Something wasn’t right.
“You defeated a demon, you completed your test. With time you will be a master enchanter with no equal. And maybe there is a hope in that for someone as small and as… forgotten as, if you want help.” He stepped closer, gripping her arm before she could pull away, “Maybe there is a way for me to leave this place. To get a foothold outside. You just need to let me in.”
Solana nodded slowly, there it was. She cursed herself for not sticking with her gut reaction from the beginning.
“I am getting the feeling that the other demon wasn’t my test, was it ‘Mouse’?”
Mouse crossed his arms and held his chest as if her were offended, “What? What are you...Of course it was! What is here that could harm an apprentice of your potential?” She stood silent. Staring at him. A deep guttural laugh came from Mouse as he shook his head, “Oh you are a smart one. Simple killing is a warriors job. The real dangers of the fade are perceptions, careless trust...pride.” A light surrounded Mouse as his human shape grew taller and taller. When the light faded a demon that stood around ten feet tall towered over her, “Keep your wits about you, mage. True tests never end!”
~
The loud buzz of chatter woke her up eventually. Soft candle light illuminated the faces of the apprentices circled around her bed. One face stuck out in particular- Jowan. His long dark hair pulled back from his face to reveal a pair of deep set eyes as he beamed down at her,
“Sol! Maker we never thought you were gonna wake up”
The apprentices around her nodded and grinned in agreement,
“How was it?”
“Was it terrifying?”
“I hear ya got it done in record time!”
Jowan nodded, sitting down on the edge of her bed, “They’re saying you got it done faster than anybody! The First Enchanter was impressed… Speaking of which-”
His words were cut off by a sharp whistle that rang through the open dormitory, “Oi! That’s it everybody, give ‘er some space!”
The crowd of apprentices slowly parted as a short elven girl barrelled toward Solana, her loose brown curls cut short against her jaw.
“Hey lady, how ya feelin’?” she said as she stopped just short of the bed and placed her hands on her hips, a wicked smile spread across her face. Neria Surana was the type of person whose personality filled a room immediately. There was an air of command that constantly surrounded her. So when she told the apprentices to give Solana space- they did. Slowly but surely they all dispersed. All except Jowan that was.
Solana adjusted herself on her bed, sitting up to face her friends, “Feels like I’ve taken a staff to my head. Everything is still kinda fuzzy…” she grazed her hands across her face to rub the sleepiness from her eyes.
Jowan snorted, “You might as well have been- you’ve been out for the past three days!”
Solana paused mid rub as she blinked, “What?”
Neria nodded, shrugging, “Yeah, but it’s expected. The Harrowing takes a lot of energy out of ya- and ya got it done in less than a day. It’s incredible.” a smirk crossed her lips, “They’re sayin’ ya might be a more powerful mage than most of us ‘ere. Even me.” her sharp laugh chimed through the dormitory, “Ah who am I kiddin’, it’s probably true.”
Jowan chuckled awkwardly before clearing his throat, “The, uh, First Enchanter wanted to see you actually. That’s probably what it’s about…”
Neria rolled her eyes, “Nah, it’s just routine. They talk to everyone after their Harrowing, ya shem.”
Jowan glowered at her, “Yeah well, I haven’t took my Harrowing yet, I wouldn’t know!”
“Oh c’mon, Jowan, I was kidding. Ya shouldn’t worry, ya’ll get ta do it. Everyone does.”
Jowan only grumbled under his breath and stood up, striding toward the door. He paused at the doorway and shot a look back to Solana before her departed, “I need to talk to you after your talk with Irving.”
Neria and Solana exchanged a glance as if to say, “What was that all about?” but said nothing. Solana stood and went to don her robes, “Best not keep the First Enchanter waiting…”