Archive of Our Own

Wind Change
by Blackbird
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Vin Tanner thumped his chair forward onto all four legs and peered around Chris Larabee, who hadn’t moved a muscle despite the racket. Something was rolling into town, and it was making more noise than a jackass in a tin barn.
At Vin’s thud, Chris looked up from his book, squinting toward the end of town engulfed in noise. A wagon pulled sluggishly into view. The bedraggled man and woman sitting up front paid no attention to the townspeople who stared as they passed, the two mules straining against their load. The wagon rolled to a stop at the opposite end of town, in front of a deserted store front.
The wagon creaked in protest as the man stepped down, and the townfolk who’d stopped to stare went back about their business. The man walked slowly around the horses and helped the woman down off the wagon. They hardly spent a moment clapping the dust off their clothes before opening the door to the store, cautiously stepping inside and disappearing from view.
Vin looked back at Chris, raising an eyebrow. Chris shrugged, spared another glance for the wagon, then reopened his book. Vin tipped his chair back onto its two rear legs again, and returned to his thoughts.
JD, who had poked his head out of the saloon as the wagon rolled by, bounded onto the street with Buck and Ezra strolling behind him, walking toward the wagon. The man and the woman came back out of the shop and started unpacking. When Ezra, Buck, and JD got to talking to the newcomers, Chris gave up on his book and watched the goings-on.
Vin looked over to the scene down the street, but not seeing what had finally captured Chris’s attention, he turned back to his friend. Chris was still at ease, book held relaxed in his hands, forearms on his knees, so Vin leaned back in his chair.
A shout of laughter softened into a familiar southern drawl, catching Vin’s attention. Down the street, the boys were helping the newcomers unload more items from the wagon, Ezra orchestrating.
Vin turned back to Chris. “Wonder what Ezra’s got himself into.”
Chris looked over to the wagon and lowered his chair onto all four legs. He nodded at Vin and they stood, Chris laying his book on the seat of his chair. Side by side, they walked down the street.
Ezra was pushing a box out of the wagon for Buck and JD to carry into the store. The man and woman came out of the store, and Ezra jumped down from the wagon when he saw Chris and Vin approach. He gathered the couple over to meet them. Though obviously tired, they were cheered by the help.
“Gentlemen, how nice of you to come by. Please allow me to perform the introductions. Chris, Vin, may I present Jesse Taylor and his wife Sarah.” Vin saw a Chris’s lips tighten, but his discomfort was gone so fast he doubted anyone else had seen it. Ezra had avoided looking at Chris during the introduction, and he quickly continued. “Mr. and Mrs. Taylor, may I present the two leaders of our merry band, Mr. Chris Larabee and Mr. Vin Tanner.”
Jesse nodded at each of the men. “Mr. Larabee, Mr. Tanner.”
Sarah spoke next. “We’re pleased to meet you gentlemen. And, please, we prefer not to stand on ceremony, call us Jesse and Sarah. We heard about you in the last town we lived in. You’re one reason we decided to move here. I’m hoping that we’ll be safer here than we have been in the past.”
“We’ll do what we can, ma’am, to keep you safe.” Chris tipped his hat to her, nodded to all the men, and turned and walked off, but not before sending an indecipherable glance at Vin.
Both Jesse and Sarah looked surprised at Chris’s rapid departure. Vin spoke up, not wanting them to get the wrong impression. “Chris don’t have a lot to say, ma’am, but he’s a good man.”
Sarah smiled up at him. “We’re finding out very quickly that there are several good men in this town. Now, if you’ll excuse us, Mr. Tanner, I must show these men what I need done, while I have their help.” Jesse hoisted a crate, and they went back into the shop, leaving Vin to watch Ezra staring after them, a silly smile on his face.
He agreed to stay to help drag heavy barrels around to the back of the store while Buck and JD helped Sarah clean. As he worked, Vin considered how strangely both Chris and Ezra were acting around Sarah and Jesse. He had no idea why Ezra was acting so giddy, but he knew why Chris disappeared so fast. Chris was a strong man, but still got twitchy sometimes, even when his wife’s name was mentioned. At those times, he preferred to take himself off somewhere else. Vin wished he could do something to ease his friend’s pain, but Chris held it too deep inside himself for anyone to get near.
When he’d done enough work, Vin left and poked his head into the saloon, then went back to the jail. He was too late; Chris’s book was gone, he didn’t want to be found. He sat, pushing his chair back onto two legs, all of a sudden sure that something was not quite right. He’d missed something he shouldn’t have.
Ezra’s behavior didn’t appear any more normal the longer Vin had stayed to help the Taylors. Vin knew Ezra could spin a tale, but with Sarah and Jesse, the man jawed non-stop. It was like Ezra had got good news and was having a hard time keeping it secret. This was new behavior for the Ezra that Vin knew; strange because it was sincere. Vin shook his head.
Chris was still gone that night; Vin hoped he hadn’t taken a bottle and gone on another high lonesome. No one had seen him since that afternoon. Vin spent the evening at the saloon with the others. He was coming back from the bar, beer in hand, when he noticed something on one of the back tables. It was Chris’s book. He stared at its rough leather cover without touching. Here, lying innocently under his gaze, was a reminder that this was a window into his friend, but which was painted black for him. Vin let his hand hover over the book for a moment, thinking of the many times he’d seen this book in Chris’s hands, finally putting it in his pocket. He’d keep the book safe until he could give it back.
He discarded the idea of trying Chris’s room -- if he was drunk, he’d be impossible, and if he wasn’t, he’d be resentful of the intrusion. Besides, Vin wanted a little more time with the piece of Chris he held in his pocket.

The next morning everyone but Chris and Josiah was eating breakfast in the saloon. Ezra was regaling them with stories that Vin recognized were based on the events of last night, while Vin had been helping out. He would never be able to understand how Ezra did that. The hauling and carrying hadn’t been fun, yet Ezra turned it into a story, nearly so entertaining you wished you’d been there.
Ezra told the group what Jesse and Sarah had volunteered about themselves. Jesse was a cook and they were opening a restaurant. They’d had restaurants in other towns, but had never found a place they wanted to stay. They had some land right outside town for light farming, and were planning on living in the rooms behind the restaurant, at least for the time being. They were hoping the Seven had made this town safe enough so they could settle here.
Nathan said, “Sounds like they had trouble elsewhere. They talk about that at all?”
“Not exactly. But they hope that with the mining camps and the railroad nearby, plus the growth of the town, that another restaurant will be viable.” Ezra had one of the best poker faces Vin had seen, but Vin could still smell it when he was hiding the truth. Vin’s instincts said that the Taylors had told Ezra more than he was letting on, and he wondered if whatever Ezra was hiding would someday become important.
Nathan was talking. “Well, I can’t help them today. I told Josiah I’d help him again with the church.”
Vin was relieved the conversation had shifted to the day’s plans. He wanted to know where Chris was, but didn’t want it to look like he was checking up on him.
Buck pointed his fork at Vin, answering his unspoken question. “Chris took the early shift.” He stabbed at the air over his shoulder. “He’ll be across the street.” Vin nodded and bit into a chunk of bread to keep himself from leaving right away.
Ezra was campaigning to get more help for the Taylors. He badgered JD into helping, and JD looked at Vin imploringly.
Vin gave in, knowing more hauling would let him observe more. “All right. I’ll talk to Chris, maybe I can help for a while.”
“Excellent, gentlemen. I’m sure the Taylors will reward us with at least one delicious complimentary meal.”
At Nathan’s pointed glare, Ezra glared back and added, “That is not the reason I want to help these people. They are genuinely good people and obviously have had problems in the past. I, myself, have been forced to abandon places I'd rather have remained; consequently, I sympathize with their difficulty.”
Nathan was not deterred. “You mean to tell us you had to leave someplace not just ‘cause you got caught cheating or running some scam?”
Ezra smacked his knife and fork onto the table and stood, shoving his chair backwards. His face was flushed. “That’s precisely what I’m telling you. You think you know me, and you judge me on that. You know nothing.” He stormed out of the saloon.
Everyone had similar expressions of shock on their faces. JD had his fork halfway to his mouth and it remained there, suspended.
“Wow. What was that about?” JD rested the fork on his plate and looked at everyone else as though they could answer him.
Nathan was looking down at his plate, and Buck noticed his discomfort. “Now Nathan, you know Ezra don’t give much away; he shows us only what he wants us to see. It ain’t fair of him to get riled when we believe him.”
Nathan nodded and sat back in his chair. “Still, I don’t like it when people assume things about me.”
“He pushes, Nathan, you know that.”
“Yeah, I know, Buck. Excuse me, I’m gonna go over to the church.”
Vin knew this about Ezra, but he hadn’t realized Buck had seen it, too. Sometimes Vin forgot that Buck had layers under his insatiable appetite for women.
He left with the rest of them and found Chris in the same chair as yesterday. Chris looked at him with a question in his eyes -- he must have seen Ezra fly out of the saloon, followed by Nathan. Vin shook his head -- nothing urgent -- and he confirmed it by saying, “Later.”
Chris nodded and looked over to the saloon, where Buck and JD were strolling down the boardwalk.
Vin stuck his hand in his pocket and traced the cracked leather edge of Chris’s book. Rough on the outside, mysterious on the inside. He wanted to give it back to Chris, for Chris to know he’d kept it safe for him, but Vin didn’t want to give it up just yet.
The air around them was thick while Chris waited for him to speak, but all Vin could think of was the book.
He had taken it out of his pocket last night, set it on the covers next to him, and stared at it in lamplight, thinking of its owner. Even though he had felt he was somehow violating Chris’s confidence, he had eventually opened it, looking at the pages covered in indecipherable print.
He wondered what kind of book it was. Not a Bible; they were thicker and the pattern on the pages was different. Whenever he saw any of the other boys reading, Vin wondered what they were reading, but never more so than with Chris. What in these pages had captured the quick mind and imagination of his friend?
Vin remembered being read to as a small child, just a few times, but he’d never forgotten how the words had given him pictures even when there weren’t any pictures in the book. He wondered if this might be a favorite book of Chris’s, a book that showed him pictures so satisfying that he had to see them again and again. Or maybe he was reading through it slowly, to savor every word, like when all you’ve eaten for a few days was hardtack and salt pork, and someone lets you share their stew. You want to eat it all up right away, but it’s better if you go slowly, because you know food don’t usually taste that good.
Did the pictures in this book make living any easier for Chris? Did it bring back his wife and child, just for a little while, and give him any measure of peace? Vin ran his finger over the words, hoping like a child that the words Chris had read would become real for him, too.
He pulled the book carefully out of his pocket and handed it to Chris. “You must’a left this behind last night.” Chris held the book in both hands and rubbed his thumbs over the worn cover. He looked up at Vin, an unreadable expression in his clear, green eyes. “Thanks.”
“I’m gonna help the Taylors again for a while. After, I’m headed to Nettie’s. Could use your help. We could take some food over to the river for supper.”
Chris had been gazing out at the street, although Vin was sure he wasn’t seeing it with any more than half his mind. “All right.”
Vin tipped his hat at Chris and stepped off the walk into the street. It wouldn’t do to show how pleased he was at Chris’s acceptance and at the weight of Chris’s gaze, which he knew was on his back.

After leaving the Taylor’s, Vin rode to the jail, where Chris was giving instructions to JD. They rode off in near silence, as usual. Vin’s mind wandered to what had bothered him last night about Ezra and the Taylors. The fact that he hadn’t figured it out by now made him think that it was a more complex puzzle.
Sarah was friendly, but tended toward the quiet. She was practical and dressed without frills; that morning she’d worn a simple dress and the way she’d had her hair pulled back reminded him of Casey. She didn’t fuss about getting dirty, and Vin couldn’t imagine her dressed in frills or fancy dresses like Maude or even like Mary. He had been relieved that she wasn’t mindless, like so many of the girls Buck favored. She was small but strong, and didn’t shirk from any task.
Jesse was a quiet man, maybe even quieter than Chris. Ezra had called him shy, a funny thing to call a man, but it sort of made sense with Jesse. He liked to work alone; Ezra explained that he was an artist and had to prepare for cooking in just the right way, doing things that only he could do. But he helped with some of the heavy work, and the rest of them made repairs and helped Sarah clean. The crews Ezra organized helped enormously; Vin didn’t think Sarah and Jesse could have carried some of the heavier crates and barrels they’d pulled off the wagon. Vin wondered who had helped them in the past and if they’d had trouble finding people to help them pack up the wagon when they left the previous town.
Chris’s soft voice interrupted Vin’s thoughts. “Want to tell me what happened at the saloon this morning?”
“Ezra was rounding up people to help the Taylors. He sweetened the pot, saying there’d be a free dinner in it. Nathan went at him with his 'Ezra’s been cheating folks again' business, and Ezra let loose. Said he had to leave places he didn’t want to, not just ‘cause he got caught in a scam, and he felt for the Taylors. Said Nathan judged him without knowing him, and stormed out. Then Nathan felt guilty about judging Ezra, and left.”
“After all this time, you’d think they’d see each other a little clearer. Course that don’t mean things would get better.”
“You’d think. Buck told Nathan that Ezra shows only what he wants people to see, so Ezra can’t blame us for judging him on that. I reckon he’s got a point.”
“Yep. Ezra’s damn good at hiding himself.”
“You know anyone out here who ain’t got something to hide?”
“JD?” Chris looked over to Vin, one eyebrow raised.
“I walked in on him and Casey kissing in the livery the other day. Casey’s a lot like Nettie -- independent. I ain’t never met so many independent women as I have here. All the gals I ever met before just wanted to hook a man and settle down. It’s strange -- seeing women who don’t care to be tamed.”
“I like women who have some wildness in them. Only seems fair.” Chris showed his cocky grin.
“They may be wild for a while, but soon enough they want you to settle down. Hell, Chris, even you got tamed.”
“Took a long time before that happened. JD and Casey, they’re still young enough to think that adventure rises with the sun.”
“I reckon. But when you’re young, you don’t always make the right choices. Might not be many years before they’re regretting not getting together.”
Chris twisted in his saddle to look at Vin. “Sounds like you’re having thoughts about settling down.”
“If I met the right person, I might. You never know.”
Chris looked at him like he was talking Chinese.
Vin slid him a small grin. “You think I’d prefer to be alone?”
Chris shook his head. “I know how it is to be alone and how it is to be with someone. I just don’t know if I can see you staying in one place.”
“Ain’t the same thing, though, is it?”
Chris looked pensive and faced front, ending the conversation.
They spent a couple hours working at Nettie’s, then rode down to the river. They let the horses graze, pulled off their coats, and dug into the bread, bacon, and dried fruit that Vin had packed.
When they had finished, Chris stretched and leaned back against the tree.
“Think I’ll catch up on some shut-eye.” He looked at Vin, who nodded.
“Figured I’d take advantage of the local bathhouse.” Vin tilted his head toward the river.
“They heat the water in town, you know.” Chris barely showed his smile.
Vin shrugged. “I’ve been in colder.”
“Suit yourself.” He pulled his hat down so the brim was shading his eyes.
Vin stood and looked at Chris for a moment. This place relaxed Vin, and he saw it working for Chris, too. Chris looked comfortable and content, and Vin, having napped many times on days like this, knew the brush of the light breeze as it feathered along Chris’s face, and how the dappled sunlight filtered through the leaves to warm him. He pulled an oilskin-wrapped bar of soap from his saddle bag, unstrapped his canteen, and peeled off his clothes when he got to the edge of the river.
He walked into the water, goosebumps covering his skin. He took a deep breath and ducked under the water. Hell, it was cold. It was all he could do to hold in the shout that was trying to escape him. He soaped his body and hair as fast as he could, then dipped back under to rinse.  He loved bathing in the river. The rush of the water against his skin felt like time bubbling its way through life, just as cold, but just as invigorating. Didn’t matter how cold he got, if he could warm up afterward, he always took a dip in a river when he was safe.
He spread out his blanket a few feet from the river, and lay down to dry off. This was the other part he loved, feeling the sun soak into his body, filling him with an energy he couldn’t get any other way. The sun chased the cold and water away. Water drops tickled past the hairs on his ribs as they trailed down his side.
When he was alone, he’d lie on his blanket after his bath, feel the rush of the river and the heat of the sun mix inside him, until he had to touch himself. He sighed, his cock hard and long against his stomach, almost wishing he was alone. He rolled onto his stomach, raising his leg to relieve the pressure, and watched Chris sleep. Vin rarely allowed himself to bathe outside with anyone nearby. It was strange how he did it with Chris here, never giving it thought. He tried to imagine doing this with any of the other Seven in Chris’s place, but he couldn’t. Chris was the only one he trusted this much. He dozed while the sun dried his back, Chris always in his line of sight.
Vin woke to the sight of Chris slumped against the tree, deeply asleep. He dressed, put the soap and food wrappings away in his saddlebag, then settled next to Chris against the tree trunk. A rare contentment settled over him, as though time had stopped and cocooned around him and Chris, letting them be together on this perfect day for as long as they wanted. Did settling down feel like this? He’d seen happiness in the faces of married folk, but he’d seen boredom and pain as many times.
What would a shared life be like? Vin had no experience to base an answer on, only guesses and the knowledge that he couldn’t stand to be with most people for a week, never mind a lifetime. He wondered if he really could share himself with someone, if he could ever leave the safety of his solitude behind. He didn’t think he could trust anyone enough to even try.
Chris yawned and sat up, pushed his hat back. Vin offered him a canteen of cold river water. Chris drank in big gulps, like he was swallowing time but didn’t care. He handed the canteen back to Vin, who drank carefully. When he looked back at Chris, he was staring at Vin solemnly, with an expression Vin couldn’t pinpoint no matter how he tried. A crow flew by low and cawed at them.
Chris stood and asked, “One of Josiah’s crows?”
As he took Chris’s hand and was pulled to his feet, Vin responded, “Hell, I hope not,” but he again felt the rush of cold river water chill his skin.

They dropped their horses at the livery, and as they walked down the boardwalk, Chris stopped in front of the bathhouse. “I’m stopping here. See you at dinner?” He grinned at Vin.
Vin shook his head. “And I call you a cowboy.” But he grinned back and strolled away.
Over dinner, Buck and JD went over the day’s events. The big news was Ezra, because he not only had spent all day with the Taylors, but he was also dining with them.
Buck was puzzled. “I ain’t never seen that boy do a lick of honest work. I went by today and he was covered in dirt, head to tail. He looked happier than a lost soul with hell in a flood.” Then he asked the question that Vin was sure was in everyone’s mind, “What is it that’s got Ezra acting this way?”
JD pitched in, “Maybe we should keep an eye on him, make sure he isn’t up to no good.” He looked anxiously around the table.
Chris didn’t glance up from his food. “He ain’t up to anything.”
JD looked like he wanted to ask more questions, but Chris continued eating, ignoring him. Buck looked thoughtfully at Chris, and JD caught the look and quieted.
Buck spun a tale about Delores, the pretty cousin of a local family who was new to town, and the subject of Ezra and his odd behavior was dropped.

Ezra did spend much of his time with the Taylors at their place when he wasn’t making money at the saloon or helping to keep the peace. Jesse and Sarah didn’t visit the saloon, so Vin saw them mostly when Ezra solicited his help. Vin agreed to help several times. At first he wanted to use the time to observe the three of them, but he found that he liked both Jesse and Sarah, as well as the person Ezra was when he was with them, and he helped out because he liked their company.
Soon Vin became sure that Sarah had nothing to do with this puzzle, but that was as far as he’d got. All in all, Vin had to agree with what Chris had said at dinner that night. Ezra meant well and was happy to be with Jesse and Sarah; he wasn’t up to anything.
When Vin’s path took him by the restaurant at night, he’d glance in through the open door and ponder how they fit together as they sat and talked in the amber light. Even from the few moments he witnessed, it was clear that Sarah treated Ezra like a brother, hugging him affectionately, and that Ezra returned her affection. Vin was sure he even saw Ezra helping to clean up after dinner.
Jesse seemed like a different person in those quick glimpses. He looked relaxed, even jovial, and he would kiss and hug Sarah. It looked like he and Ezra played cards, but with no money on the table.
At the end of the week, Vin ran into Ezra at the livery as Vin was brushing down his horse and Ezra was dropping off his. The late afternoon sky was paling as it prepared for sunset, and Ezra barely glanced at Vin as he handed his horse over to Tiny. Vin followed Ezra out the stable door and leaned against the doorway, Ezra turning back and looking at him as though he just noticed him.
“Taylors are real nice folk. You been spending a lot of time with them.” Vin looked at Ezra, letting his question show in his eyes.
Ezra caught the question and Vin could see him debating whether to answer at all. When he looked back at Vin, for a moment Vin saw the sadness behind his eyes. “I am aware, Vin, that I am the object of speculation. However, my relationship with the Taylors is not something I can explain. All I can say is that they remind me of friends I had back in civilization.”
Vin nodded and Ezra tipped his hat and wandered away. Vin put the curry comb away, and walked over to the jail, where he sat outside and let the approaching night enclose him. Twilight, with its promise of night’s solitude, had always been his favorite time of day. When he was far away from everyone, he would let the obligations of the day loosen from around his shoulders. He’d let his mind wonder how so much danger could live within so much beauty, and if that was what kept the exhilaration of the desert’s beauty alive in him. But as free as it made him feel, it was also the time he was most alone. He dreamed of someone who would share stories of the coming night and who would keep him warm just by being there. But this magical person had never materialized, and Vin remained alone. When the night faded his fantasies, Vin would roll himself in the blanket of darkness, and lull his sorrows to sleep.
Tonight, though, something was different. He’d always known he’d be the last of the Seven to settle into Four Corners. But without him noticing, the nightly urge to saddle his horse had passed months ago.

The next day he headed out to Nettie’s alone; he had tried to find Chris, but he’d disappeared again. He got to the edge of town before a horse rode up behind him. Chris.
“Nettie’s?”
“Yep.”
“Heading to the cabin. Stop by when you’re done? I got a hankering for chicken and dumplings and I make them better n’anyone.” He gave Vin a cocky, yet shy grin that invited participation. He tipped his hat and was gone.
Vin felt light as a feather; Chris hadn’t waited for an answer -- hadn’t needed to. Yet he’d acted almost nervous. Chris Larabee, nervous? Vin rode off, shaking his head but smiling at Chris’s peculiar behavior.

Vin arrived at Chris’s place a couple hours before sunset. Chris was sitting in front of his house, chair tipped back, the same book open in his hands. He looked up as Vin approached. As Vin got closer, a wonderful aroma reached his nose. If that was chicken and dumplings, Chris had not been bragging.
Chris nodded at the corral, and Vin unsaddled the horse, then guided it into the small enclosure. He threw his saddle over a corral pole and brought his saddle bags to the porch. He dragged the second chair over and settled in next to Chris.
“Nettie all right?”
“Yep. She’s planting that plot we made for her. She’ll soon be coming in Saturday morning for market, the way she’s going.”
Chris nodded, then drifted back to his book.
They sat in silence for a short while before Vin decided to speak. He didn’t know he was going to say what he did until it came out of his mouth. “Been thinking about Ezra and the Taylors. Ezra... he’s been happy since the Taylors showed up... I ain’t saying it’s bad, but it sure is peculiar. There’s something funny going on -- I’m thinking it’s something to do with Jesse, but I can’t put my finger on it. You notice anything?”
Chris stared out at the distant hills, the fingers of his left hand tapping at the edges of the book. It took him a few minutes to answer.
“Yeah, I noticed it. Took me a while to figure it out.” Chris paused again and thumped his chair forward before continuing. “I think I know the kind of trouble they’ve had in those other towns. I think they want to keep it quiet, but I know it won’t go further than you.”
“Don’t want you betraying a trust.”
“No. You need to know, in case there’s trouble. That’ll be three of us, and I suspect some of the others, especially Buck, will pick it up eventually.”
Chris continued, “Sarah and Jesse. They’re both women.”
Vin thought about it for a few moments, running his experiences with the Taylors through his mind. It clicked: Jesse’s awkwardness around other people, his shyness, his tendency to keep out of the way when others were around.
“You reckon they’re intimate?”
“Yeah.” Chris glanced over at Vin, then stared down at the floor. “Two women who love and want each other -- they’d be safer out here if people thought they were married.” He paused. “‘Course, could be they’re running from someone.”
Chris waited, and Vin could see the tension in him while Vin contemplated the idea.  
“Never heard about two women together. On the trail, I’ve seen two fellers go off together. They pretend to go off separate, but you know what they’re doing. Never seemed to be more than a bit of relief. Never thought about two fellers, or two women neither, really being together -- being in love and making a life together.”
“I saw it once -- a couple of old men’d been living together a long time. And I’d heard about women living as men. Sarah and Jesse seem to be happy, but still, it must be a tough life.”
“I reckon.” Vin had seen Jesse and Sarah act like all the other married couples he’d seen, and they were obviously in love; it made sense they’d be intimate. He could see why it would be best that a few more of them knew, in case they had problems with anyone in town, or they really were running from someone and they got found.
Still, it must be a hard road for them, pretending all the time and wondering if their past would catch up to them, something Vin knew weighed heavily on a person.
He wondered how many of the upstanding people of the town would look down at the two women and dislike them for what they were doing, if they knew about them, and that was something he didn’t understand at all. Love might never knock at your door, and if you were lucky enough for it to find you, you damn well better grab onto it and not let go.
“Hope it works out for them. I’ll do what I can to help.”
Chris looked at him, the relief clear in his eyes, but it clouded other emotions that Vin wished he could read.
He had more questions. He tilted his head to look at Chris, who’d gone back to reading. As Vin watched him, Chris looked up, and Vin raised his eyebrows.
Chris nodded, resigned. “Let’s eat first, all right?”
Vin agreed.
The chicken and dumplings were as good as promised. They had cleaned up, turned up a lamp, and sat back at the wood table. Vin was glad Chris had given him time over dinner to ponder. Because he now knew.
Chris’s book lay closed on the table between them, Chris rubbing his fingertips over the wood, then over the book, as though contrasting the different textures.
Vin was relieved that they were continuing this conversation in Chris’s little house. The growing darkness warmed him, and the soft glow of the lantern played gently over Chris’s face.
Vin finally asked, “Ezra?”
Chris nodded.
“Explains a lot. He told me they remind him of people he knew back ‘in civilization’.”
“Ezra talks a good game, but if you look deep you can see the loneliness.”
Vin’s gaze strayed to Chris, who was staring at the table. Why did he not expect Chris to have seen that?
“Well, I’m glad he’s found kin.”
Chris met Vin’s eyes. “That’s what I call it.”
Vin nodded, keeping his eyes on Chris’s. “Hard to find.”
Chris nodded stiffly. Vin pretended not to see his discomfort, but wondered what it meant.
There was more Vin wanted to know. “How’d you figure it out?”
“I’m older than you, Vin. I’ve seen more, and I’d wondered about Ezra for a while.”
“Reckon I should have seen it earlier.”
“Nah, it confused me before I got it. Got quite a surprise. But it ain’t my life and everyone’s got a right to find some happiness.”
The silence stretched on; Chris’s talking streak had dried up.
Vin stood and yawned. The night had grown dark around them while they’d sat and talked. “I’m going to sleep. I assume you don’t mind if I stay here.”
“Sleep wherever you want. There’s room in the back, too.”
“I think I’ll sleep outside tonight. Good for thinking.”
Chris nodded. “Need the lamp?”
“Nah, there’s a moon.” He paused, needing to add something, but not sure what. “Thanks for trusting me.”
Chris looked straight into Vin’s eyes, then nodded and turned away.

 On the ride back to town, Vin was embarrassed to admit to himself how curious he was to see the Taylors again, to see if what he had missed was obvious. But most of all he wanted to see Ezra, to watch him in the company of Jesse and Sarah. Would Ezra appear any different, now that Vin knew about him?
Vin and Chris paused as they came over the rise that spread the town out before them. Chris looked particularly pensive; Vin would have given five dollars to know his thoughts. Whenever he came to this place, Vin remembered the first time he rode into Four Corners. He would never have guessed back then that he would find friends here, that he would learn to trust these people to watch his back, and that, ultimately, he would find a reason to stick around. Did Chris feel the same way? They shared a glance that gave Vin no new understanding, and urged their horses onward.

Two days later, Vin ran into Chris, who was leaving the bathhouse. Vin stopped him before he could disappear.
“You going to your place tomorrow?”
Chris nodded.
“I’ll be bringing supplies up to Nettie’s. You mind if I come by after?”
“All right.” He gave Vin a small smile and walked off.
Vin paused to watch Chris’s confident but uneven stride. He abruptly turned into the bathhouse. Something was changing for him, and although he had no idea what it was, he guessed he might as well be clean for it.
Vin didn’t see Ezra until that night, when he and the others gathered at the restaurant for the grand opening, which was a thank-you dinner for everyone who’d helped the Taylors set up shop. A few other townsfolk were invited, including Mary, in addition to the Seven. Sarah, gracious and smiling, greeted everyone at the door and ushered them in. The small restaurant contained five mismatched but clean tables, which left little room to maneuver in, especially with people filling every last chair. But everyone managed to fit in somewhere.
Vin subtly watched how Sarah and Ezra acted around the other patrons, and studied Jesse when she came out front. She was tall, almost as tall as Vin, and though she was more angular than most women, she was less solid than most men. Her short dark hair and men’s clothes disguised the fact that she didn’t have facial hair or a man’s jaw line. But her movements were lanky and long, not dainty like a woman. Sarah was in her element, clearly pleased to have a chance to do something for those who helped her, and Jesse got several compliments on the cooking.
Ezra was full of stories and insisted on helping Sarah several times, even though she scarcely needed it. She was patient with his exuberance and took his actions with good grace.
The person who was acting most unusual was Chris; he was almost as exuberant as Ezra, although in his own way. He told no stories, but he laughed with everyone else and for the first time in a long while, Vin saw little evidence of the quiet, brooding man who was Vin’s usual companion.
Vin had never seen Chris like this -- acting like there’d never been darkness in his eyes. This must be the Chris whom Buck had known years ago, before Sarah and Adam had been killed. As Vin watched his friend, he saw glimmers of the wild man Chris had been when he was younger. Chris might not want to admit it but he committed himself to whatever he did. Vin would bet Chris had put as much of himself into being wild back then, as he put into his pain now.
After dinner, most of the group headed to the saloon. Usually when he and Chris went someplace together, Chris led. Unless there was something particular Vin wanted to do, he had no problem with this; there was no competition between them. Tonight, Chris hung back, giving Vin the lead. Vin felt odd until he realized that Chris was telling him the same thing Vin told Chris daily -- he just wanted to be with him.
The two of them settled at a side table in the saloon. Chris bought beers for Vin and himself, and they sat back and watched the other five play a friendly game of poker.
Chris pulled his book from his pocket and laid it on the table, even though it was too dark to read. Vin watched Chris’s fingers spider along the edge of the cover. Although this book had thoroughly captured Vin’s imagination, he had wondered for a long time what books were about. He knew some contained stories and some were histories, but he wanted a fuller view into this world that he was barred from. Most of all, he wanted to know what Chris liked to read, what he liked to let his mind loose on. Sometimes Vin thought he couldn’t keep his questions inside himself any longer.
But that would give him away. He’d never felt second best to the men he’d worked with until he found himself in the middle of a group of people who were educated and who he respected; even Nathan, a former slave, could read. All of a sudden he had a secret. He was off balance, far behind the others, with no way to catch up. Sometimes, when reading or writing came up in conversation, he faded out to the edge of the group, then disappeared into the air. Now, watching Chris’s fingers caress his book, Vin was afraid that his ignorance would always keep him as thin as air, even around Chris. He abruptly realized that he wanted Chris to teach him to read. Heart pounding, Vin took a drink and watched Chris touch the book, his mind clearly someplace far away.

Vin woke that night from a dream about card games, books, and luck. He lay still, knowing he had come up with something important while he’d slept, but unable to remember it no matter how hard he poked at it. He sighed and got up, hoping it would come to mind soon.
Before he left for Nettie’s, he bought and packed dinner fixings. He was used to cooking over a campfire, of course, but he hadn’t cooked many times over a stove. He’d manage with Chris’s help.
He wasn’t at Nettie’s very long. He dropped off supplies, worked for a short time on one of the garden gates, then went on his way to Chris’s.
Chris was chopping wood when Vin rode up. Vin put his saddle bag in a cool spot and joined Chris by the woodpile. As Chris chopped, Vin stacked, and in a short while they traded off.
Vin got a smile of thanks when he told Chris about the food he’d brought. They picked out the horses’ shoes and brought up water from the stream behind the cabin before stoking the fire and putting the food on to cook. They worked well together, had from the moment they met. It was one of those things that just made Vin shake his head and smile.
Over dinner, they talked about last night’s opening at the restaurant. Vin offered a suggestion.
“Why don’t you teach Jesse how to make your chicken and dumplings? Then you and me can eat them more often.”
“You liked them that much?”
“Yep.” Vin paused, almost dizzy with daring. “Like being here.”
Chris smiled, but didn’t look at him. “I like it too, Vin.”
They cleaned up after dinner. Vin figured Chris had felt that way, but he was relieved to hear it direct. Chris’s behavior last night popped into his head, and the lesson from last night’s dream finally came to him. How did Chris know about Ezra? And how did he pick it up so fast about Jesse and Sarah? He told Vin it had taken him a while, but Vin suspected that it took him less time than he made out. Why hadn’t he asked Chris these questions before? As soon as that thought crossed his mind, he knew the reason: he hadn’t been ready for the answers.
Yet asking Chris for the answers was asking him to trust Vin completely. He couldn’t ask this before showing Chris his own trust.
Vin sat at the table while Chris brought over a bottle of whiskey and glasses, sat down, and poured for both of them. “Chris, that book you’ve been dragging around -- are you reading it real slow, or are you reading it again?”
“Both, I guess.”
“You must like it a lot.”
Chris nodded.
Vin took a breath and a sip. “When I was real little, I stayed with some people who had a lot of money. I don’t remember who they were, but I remember being read to from this one book. It had a poem with a picture. I don’t remember the poem, but the picture was of the prettiest house you could ever imagine, surrounded by soft, green grass, and there was a pear tree right in the front yard. I used to think that those children must be the happiest children in the world, because they could play all day under that pear tree, and then, when it was dark, they’d go into that pretty house to their ma and pa.
“Then there was this story about animals in Africa: zebras and giraffes and gorillas. But what was funny was that this story didn’t come with no pictures. The words done made pictures in my mind, and I remember them pictures to this day.”
Vin looked over at Chris who was looking at him like he’d never seen him before. Made sense; Vin reckoned he’d never spoken quite so much in front of Chris, or practically ever. Maybe he was a different person when he was alone with Chris.
“Does that book do that for you? Does it show you pictures in your mind?” He waited and saw the moment Chris understood. Vin’s palms were sweaty and his mouth dry, but Chris wasn’t looking at him like he was stupid. Maybe he was too nervous to read him right, because he didn’t know why Chris would look at him with awe.
Chris’s voice was steady when he spoke, as though he were talking about the possibility of rain. “It’s not the same thing, just ‘cause there’s more to the pictures than a boy could see. Books show me new places and people, and they explain what they do and why.”
Vin nodded and tried not to look uncomfortable. “Thought it might be something like that.”
“Vin --” Chris hesitated. “I can read to you sometime, if you’d like.”
Vin smiled, the warmth of acceptance spreading through him. “All right.”
His smile was reflected in Chris’s face.  
“When Adam died, he was five, and Sarah and I had just started teaching him how to read. He was a smart boy, like his ma.” Chris’s voice cracked and he looked away. Impulsively, Vin touched his fingertips to the back of Chris’s hand.
Chris took a deep breath and shook off the memory. “Do you want to learn, Vin? I’ll teach you.”
Vin couldn’t talk for a moment. Chris’s reaction was more than he could have imagined. “Yeah, I want to learn. Mary found out and offered to help, but she don’t have much time, and I don’t know... she’s kind of like a school marm sometimes.” He paused. “Maybe when we come out here?”
Chris nodded. “It’s between us.”
Vin didn’t want to push, but he needed their connection to scrape against his palms. “Think we might have some time tomorrow for a little bit? Or do you want to start out early?”
Chris shook his head. “Ain’t nowhere I got to be.” He gave Vin a grin which turned to a soft smile. “Tomorrow’s fine.”
There was a long pause and the air haloed with tension around Chris.
“Vin, I’m going to bed. You want to sleep outside again, or...?” The second part of the question hung in the air.
“If you don’t mind, I’d like to stay inside. I’m done with thinking.” As he said the words, he knew that his need had taken shape inside him without him being aware of it. He looked at Chris for his reaction.
“All right.” Now that Vin was sure, he saw Chris’s nervousness for what it was, even though the only thing giving it away was his inability to meet Vin’s eyes.
“What have you got back here, anyway? I ain’t never seen it.” He didn’t wait for an answer, but took the few steps needed to peer around the doorway. A thick and soft-looking bed filled the small room. It was suspended a few inches off the floor on a sturdy frame and looked like a perfect bed for both a good night’s sleep and other, more pleasurable pursuits. He had expected a pallet at best.
“Like your creature comforts, do you?” He turned back to Chris with a grin, to find him looking uncomfortable and flushed.
While he was amazed to have such power over such a strong man, he wanted to relieve Chris of his discomfort.
“Well, I do, too. Reckon I got soft, living in town.” Vin unbuttoned his coat, shrugged it off, and laid it over a chair.
“You mind if I share?” He nodded at the bed, hoping he was hiding the fact that his stomach was jumping around like a hen on a hot griddle. If there was any chance that this night might go the way he thought both of them wanted, it was up to him; Chris looked uncertain for a few moments, but then nodded and stood, pulling off his waistcoat.
Chris stripped slowly while Vin brought his gunbelt from the front room to the back room, hanging it on a peg next to the bed. They both stripped down to their long johns, and Vin stuck his thumb in the waist band of his drawers, flicking the top button lightly against his stomach. “It all right with you if I don’t wear these? A real bed’s rare enough that I’d rather go bare.”
Chris nodded curtly.
Vin pulled off his undershirt and tossed it over the rest of his clothes. Chris pulled his undershirt off too, and looked hesitant while pretending to be casual. Vin didn’t want Chris to stop now, so he quickly unbuttoned his drawers and pulled them off, tossing them over the chair.
“C’mon, Larabee, you know you don’t need to stand on ceremony with me.”
Vin stepped over to the bed, pulled the blankets down and slid in. He looked at Chris, now standing in the doorway, watching Vin. Vin patted the bed next to him, wiggled his eyebrows, and grinned.
“What’re you waiting for? Git over here.”
Chris stood still for a moment, face unreadable, then he brought his gunbelt and the lamp into the bedroom, hung them on hooks above the bed, and turned down the lamp. The bed shifted as Chris removed his drawers, and then slid in.
They lay next to each other for several minutes, Vin waiting to see if Chris would make the first move. Maybe Vin had been reading him all wrong. He’d better find out right quick.
“Chris.”
“Yeah.”
Vin slid his hand onto Chris’s stomach, thinking up apologies even as he did it. “You do want me, don’t you?”
Vin heard Chris’s sharp intake of breath, then the covers surged around Chris and his hot weight was pushing Vin into the softness of the mattress.
“Yeah, Vin, I want you.” Chris’s lips descended to his, and Vin gave in to the taste of Chris’s lips.
Chris kissed as straight as he shot. He drove into the depths of Vin’s mouth, then sucked on, and bit at, Vin’s lips. Vin would have been a little worried about Chris taking the lead so quickly, but Chris was making him feel so good and so wanted, and was, himself, so obviously happy, that he slipped into a state of relaxed bliss. Chris kissed and nipped up his neck to his ear, his touch passionate but lacking the delicateness a man would bestow on a woman.
Vin’s hands flowed from Chris’s shoulders to his back and absorbed the strength of the hard muscle dancing under his fingertips. Chris’s weight on top of him was both reassuring and the most exciting thing he could remember.
Chris was non-stop motion, tasting and kissing Vin’s chest and stomach, lifting himself back up to kiss Vin’s lips again. It was as though he wanted everything at once. All too soon he lost himself, and began rubbing himself against Vin’s hip. Vin didn’t want this to end in a mindless rut, and he hoped Chris didn’t either.
He rolled suddenly, twisting Chris under him. Chris snapped out of his haze and looked at Vin in mortification. Vin smiled at him, then dipped down for a long, wet kiss. Chris moaned when Vin pulled away, futilely raising his hips for more contact.
“Hold on, cowboy. I want you with me.” He reached between them and pushed Chris’s cock down so it nestled snugly between Vin’s thighs, his own cock rubbing against Chris’s stomach. Chris’s cock rubbed along his balls, spreading a wetness over and behind them that excited Vin in a way he’d never felt before; he thought he might have died and gone to heaven. He rocked against Chris, bringing forth a moan of desperation from Chris. He lowered his lips to Chris’s and Chris pulled him tightly onto his chest. Wrapped in Chris’s strength, Vin had a strange moment of clarity, seeing that there were vast levels of intensity to being with someone, and he had dropped onto a level deeper than he’d thought possible, with a man he’d never have guessed would take him there.
He groaned, and they rocked harder and faster as they got more slippery. Wanting these connections between them to never end, Vin came, the joy filling him down to his toes. Still panting, he pressed his legs tighter together  to help Chris along, pushing Chris over the edge. As he came, he hugged Vin to him so hard Vin thought he might crack a rib. The pleasure of Chris’s release, wet and hot over his balls and ass crack, set Vin gasping with words he didn’t know how to form. Chris didn’t let go of him afterward, but instead found Vin’s lips for another sweet kiss, which continued until they were almost asleep. Waking up enough to notice that they were still uncovered, Vin slid off Chris and leaned down to pull up the blankets. As he settled in next to him, he realized Chris had already fallen asleep. Sighing with a perfect comfort, Vin rested his arm over Chris’s chest and fell into sleep, too.

When he awoke, the heat of skin pressed along Vin’s back was like late afternoon sunshine, warming him down to his soul. The hard flesh pressed against his backside was simply sex.
He pushed back against the hardness and was rewarded by Chris rocking against him as he woke. Vin had to think a moment about what to do. He wanted so much -- he’d never got around to tasting Chris last night like he wanted to. Sometime soon he was going to lick Chris from his forehead to his feet.
That idea had him hardening fast. He slithered down under the covers and pushed Chris onto his back. The dimness under the covers hid little of the male genitals inches from his face. Slightly dizzy at how much he wanted this, and how he felt no revulsion at all, he ducked down and took one of Chris’s balls into his mouth, investigating it with his tongue, savoring both the taste and the groan that came from his companion. He treated the other ball with the same gentle suckling and licking. Although he wanted to stay there for much longer, this intimacy had him aching for more, so he licked his way up Chris’s cock. Chris’s hands cupped his head, and he threaded his fingers through Vin’s hair, grasping his skull. Desire trembled through him as he let the entire length of the cock slide into his mouth. Chris was panting and moaning, and Vin couldn’t believe he had been willing to settle for a lifetime without these feelings. The wonder of knowing another person with this level of understanding and passion was too powerful to ever be erased. He wondered if Chris had felt this way with Sarah, if he still did, and if he also felt this way about Vin.
Chris was getting close; his fluid was swelling through his cock and leaking into Vin’s mouth, making it bigger and harder. Feeling the excitement rise in himself, Vin dragged his tongue around the crown of Chris’s cock, and Chris gasped, froze, and his heat poured into Vin. The warmth of Chris’s seed felt strange as it pulsed over his tongue, but he concentrated on how it must feel to Chris, and he managed to swallow.
He was near his own release, but he needed to see Chris’s face. He hoped Chris wouldn’t fall asleep again -- Vin didn’t mind it, but he was too needy to wait until Chris woke.
He need not have worried. Chris was reaching for him. Vin pulled himself up on the bed, looked into Chris’s eyes, and took his mouth in a deep kiss.
Chris’s strong fingers wrapped securely around his cock, making Vin gasp into Chris’s mouth, and causing Chris to chuckle against the kiss. Then he changed his grip, circling Vin loosely, barely touching him, forcing a moan of frustration from Vin, who opened his eyes to see Chris gauging his reaction with a thoughtful look. Then Chris was gone under the covers. Vin was pushed onto his back, his legs were opened, and Chris was curled up between them.
One hand wrapped around his cock, the other cradled and stroked his balls. Then Chris’s tongue lightly and cautiously licked his cock, like he was getting used to the taste. He stroked the base of Vin’s cock while lapping and kissing the head. Vin was sweating hard, and couldn’t stop his hips from thrusting. When the heat of Chris’s mouth engulfed him, he cried out. He tried to warn Chris, who ignored his grunts and kept going. A few short licks over the tip of his cock and he couldn’t hold back any longer. He came, pleasure burning away all thought.
He lay back, waiting for his heart to stop pounding, and Chris moved up beside him. Chris’s lips brushed across Vin’s face, neck, and chest.
Vin wrapped his arms around Chris, not quite believing this was happening, and wondering if his heart was going to burst out of his chest.
When Chris stopped kissing him and leaned over him, looking him in the eye, Vin saw Chris’s reticence and shyness, but he also saw his determination to show Vin how much he felt for him. Vin kept his eyes on Chris’s and nodded slowly. Chris must have read him right, because his smile was as sweet as apple pie.
Vin pulled Chris down on top of him. This was how the world should always be.

When Vin woke, Chris was molded to him. Vin was on his back, with Chris’s leg over his, one of Chris’s arms around his chest, and Chris was pressed along Vin’s side. He was still floating. He turned his head to find Chris watching him. Words tumbled around in his head, but they refused to come out, and he didn’t think he needed them.
Chris’s thumb had been slowly rubbing Vin’s chest, but he raised it to run over Vin’s cheek. “I never thought I’d get a second chance.”
Vin kissed the thumb as it investigated his lips. “Never thought I’d get any chance.”
Chris nodded. “Not gonna be easy.”
Vin grinned. “Don’t care.”
“Neither do I.”
Chris laid his head down on Vin’s chest and rubbed his hand lightly over Vin’s stomach. They stayed like that for a while. Eventually, the pull to join the real world was undeniable. With a sigh, Chris leaned up on his elbow. “Food?”
Chris put out the remainder of last night’s dinner and made coffee. They ate in silence, and finally sat back, sipping coffee.
Vin thought the routine of eating might take the starch out of this newness between them. But instead he felt as awkward as a new colt, and he wondered if the pull he felt toward this man would make him clumsy in public, too.
“This is going to be complicated, ain’t it?”
Chris nodded and waited.
“You think we can stay together when we’re in town?”
“Never thought you were safe in that wagon.”
Vin nodded agreement to the plan and changed the subject. “If you’re right about Ezra, he’ll know. Buck’ll figure it out easy, I expect. You have trouble with that?”
“Nah. Buck’s okay. You know he was raised in a brothel?”
Vin shook his head in wonder. “You reckon that’s what made him the way he is, or he was born like that and got lucky?”
Chris grinned. “Either way, he’s been like this since I’ve known him. Doesn’t get spooked by things like this.”
Vin nodded. “I guess, most things won’t be all that different, except what’s going on inside.”
“Nope.” Chris looked down at the table. “Vin, I’m not the best company all the time.”
Vin spoke clearly, so there’d be no mistake. “I ain’t leaving you, Chris. No matter what.”
Chris nodded and cleared his throat before speaking. “You ready for your lesson?”
They settled on the front porch, where Chris used the dirt as a board and a twig as a pencil. He began with the alphabet, explaining how every letter sounded, and even how they sounded when they were put together. Vin loved sitting close to Chris, watching how his mind worked. He thought Chris might really create meaning for him out of all the squiggles. Both at ease, they kept going until the sun’s diminishing brilliance told them it was time to leave.
They had been riding for a while when Vin spoke. “Think we might be able to do some lessons while we’re in town?”
“You don’t mind the others knowing?”
Vin, seeing his fear for what it had been, grinned. “Not any more.”
Chris nodded. “We’ll see if we can find a slate so you can practice your writing, and I bet we can get some paper from Mary. When you start reading we can borrow books, or if we stop playing poker with Ezra, maybe even order some.”
Vin couldn’t breathe for a couple moments. Unable to meet Chris’s eyes, he managed to finally croak out his thanks.
“That’d be real nice, Chris.”

Back in town, they dropped their horses at the livery. After checking in at the jail and the saloon, and finding out all was well, they stopped at Vin’s wagon. Vin gathered a few supplies, tucked them into his saddle bags, and they strolled to the boarding house. Without discussion, they went up to Chris’s room.
Vin stood just inside the closed door, saddle bags in hand, the strangeness of the last day and night prickling over him. Chris was the most private of men, guarding his privacy tighter than an armory. Vin recognized this the moment they met, as he suspected Chris recognized in him. Yet here he was, trespassing into another of Chris’s private domains.
Chris noticed Vin’s discomfort. He took the bags from Vin’s hands, placed them over the chair next to the window, and came back to stand in front of Vin, a worried frown settling over his face.
“We can go as slow you want. I don’t know if you’ve ever been this close to someone, but it can be a shock when you stop being alone. I’ve done this before; I can do it again. You tell me what you want and don’t want, and we’ll work through it.”
“I want this, Chris, all of it. I just find it hard to believe you can open yourself to me so quick and easy.”
Chris pulled Vin to him, and held him tight. “I’ve wanted you so long, it’s the easiest thing in the world.”
Vin couldn’t believe he was hearing these magical words, and was unable to talk. There was only one thing to do. He pulled Chris into a kiss, and eventually they made it to the bed, falling on it while tangled around each other.

They woke in mid-afternoon, in the same position as that morning, Chris draped over Vin. Vin turned his head to kiss Chris, rubbed his hand over the dried semen coating his belly, and said, “Looks like we’re going to need to visit the bathhouse more often.” He stretched and yawned.
Chris laughed. “Together? How are we going to keep this secret if we bathe together?”
Vin gave a small grin. “Good point. Maybe we can go right afterwards, before we can get rowdy again.” He paused. “What about the river, when nobody else is there?” He wondered if Chris would remember.
“Mmm. You looked right nice while you were bathing.”
Vin rolled his eyes. “I should have known you’d go peeking.” He became thoughtful. “I never done that with anyone around before. It felt so right with you there, I didn’t even consider not doing it. I should have figured it out.”
“Vin, you know when you’re ready to know. But I’ll bathe with you in that river anytime you want. You mind waiting until it’s a little warmer?”
Vin snorted. “And I call you a cowboy.”

They looked for the rest of the troop in the saloon, but Inez told them that everyone had gone to the Taylors’ for dinner. Chris gave Vin a questioning look and they walked wordlessly to the back of the saloon, sat at a corner table, and ordered food. Vin appreciated the quiet and he was happy to avoid scrutiny. He didn’t think he was doing a good job keeping his happiness inside, and Chris didn’t appear to be doing all that well, either, at least when he looked over at Vin.
After dinner they sipped whiskey as they waited for the saloon to fill up. Something was missing, but Vin couldn’t figure out what, until he watched Chris’s finger sliding up and down his whiskey glass. The book wasn’t on the table between them. He hadn’t noticed it in Chris’s room, either. Maybe he left it at the cabin. As he thought about it, the book shrank in importance. A few days ago, it had symbolized everything he would never know about Chris, now it was just a book he was curious about.
A jovial burst of noise preceded Ezra, Buck, JD, Josiah, and Nathan into the saloon. The group acknowledged Chris and Vin, then settled down at a center table. Buck came over to visit, filling them in on the adventures they’d had at dinner, and on the events of the previous day. As soon as he left for the poker game, Chris’s leg leaned against his, and Vin smiled to himself.
Chris pulled a folded-up copy of Mary’s newspaper and a stub of a pencil out of his pocket and laid them on the table. He looked at Vin, who responded with a nod and a surge of excitement. Quietly, Chris reviewed the alphabet, showing Vin the differences in the way Chris had written the letters and the way they were printed in the paper. Eventually, he showed Vin some of the shorter words, telling him how the letters made the sounds everyone was used to.
Vin looked up from the little world he and Chris had created to find Ezra watching them with surreptitious glances, between bantering and poker hands. No one else seemed to notice, except Chris, who, for one long moment, stared back at Ezra. Then Ezra was back in his game, and the only thing left of the exchange was an itchy Chris Larabee.
The lesson was over, and they both needed to dispel some of the discomfort at letting Ezra see what was now between them. Vin finished his whiskey and stood.
“I reckon I’m ready to call it a night. Take a walk?”
They said goodnight to those still playing poker, then stepped out into the night. Vin led them to the jail, where they sat in the chairs outside, the town laid out before them, dark and peaceful, with the exception of the saloon.
“Used to be there was me and everyone else. I even wondered if I existed sometimes, thought sometimes I might be a gust of wind blowing across the desert at night. But you...” Vin shook his head and smiled. “Moment I saw you I wanted to know you. Not easy.” Chris watched him, interested and waiting.
Vin looked into Chris's eyes and continued, “Now you’ve opened the door to the unknowable Chris Larabee. I want that, ain’t no doubt about it. But it changes the wind into something I don’t know.”
Chris nodded and thought for a while. “I guess it’s time both of us change. But it’ll happen on its own, Vin. Things come up, we’ll figure them out. There’s no reason we can’t be the wind when we need to. There are still big spaces out here that we can go to. You tell me when you need to go and we’ll leave together. That good enough for you?”
Chris kept tipping Vin off balance, giving him these gifts. “Yeah, it’s good enough for me.” And he smiled.
Chris sat back in his chair, his eyes bright with relief.
Vin nodded. He tilted his head toward the boarding house, looking at Chris. They rose, and walked up the street, together.