Chapter Text
I wonder which one would be worse to take from you: the person that you loved or the person that you… hate. I think we’ll go with… the latter. If you accept this sacrifice, you’ll forget Governor Kalen. You’ll forget all about him. You won’t be able to track him down— you just won’t know anything about Governor Kalen. You’ll forget what— you’ll remember what he did to you but you will not remember who did it. — Edward to Magnus in ‘The Stolen Century, Chapter 5’
The Page of Cups indicates the surprising and unexpected nature of inspiration that comes to us from the realm of the unconscious and the spirit. Inspiration is seen to be something which comes upon us most unexpectedly and often in a manner which we do not understand.
It’s hard, in the moment, to say what he wants to say.
Magnus wants to tell Taako and Merle the whole story, start to finish. Who Kalen really was, and what he really meant. He wants to show them his first pair of work boots, the owner’s name scrawled on the bottom in a messy hand, then crossed out.
He wants to tell them about the first beer he drank in Raven’s Roost, and the man who bought it for him. He wants to tell them how that man became someone else, and how Magnus let him live, when he probably should have done what everyone expected him to do.
Right now, he can’t go through the story, from start to finish.
So he says what’s easier. And he calls Kalen what he is, because there’s no room anymore for what he used to be. All that’s gone, now. Most of it, anyway. There’s a spare corner, where the guy who found Magnus lying in the dirt, staring up at the sun lives. He’s got a wide grin and a tan face with freckles crossing the bridge of his nose. His plaid button down billows in the wind that’s picking up from the East. He reaches down and takes Magnus’s hand and says in a voice that never loses its rich, warm timbre —
You lost, friend?
That guy lives in a lonely corner, but Magnus makes the deal and feels every memory start to slip away.
Kalen buying him a beer, helping him get a job — introducing him to Julia.
But then — Kalen becoming governor, and trying to keep Raven’s Roost safe and isolated. All the martial orders and the heavy handed politicking. The marching and the shouting and...the madness, you could call it.
It all slips away, into the pulsing lights of Wonderland and then, to Magnus — Kalen is nothing.
But, you know — he used to be something.
Don’t talk to him. Don’t let him talk to you. Kill him. And tell him it’s for Julia.
Magnus is lying face up in the dirt, and he can’t remember how he got there.
There are three crows circling overhead — or maybe ravens. He knows there’s a way to tell the difference, but he can’t remember that either. He feels lucky, without knowing why, that he knows his own name.
The sun’s place in the sky tells him it’s mid morning, and the world around him is quiet. He closes his eyes again, to enjoy this — but the distant sound of a woman crying, sobbing, saying his name, keeps breaking through. Magnus feels it moving further away, like he is a train speeding past and...whoever she is, has fallen behind.
Eventually, Magnus doesn’t hear her at all.
He knows he should get up, but every part of him is exhausted. He feels like he fell a few hundred feet, but he knows, somehow, that he was left here quite deliberately. He just doesn’t know why.
Noon comes and goes. Magnus closes his eyes and rests, roused only by the sound of footsteps drawing near. He turns his head to the right, dust settling on a pair of worn work boots. A man no older than Magnus leans down, a brightly patterned handkerchief tied around his neck, the most color Magnus has seen all day.
“You lost, friend?” he asks, and extends a hand.
Magnus blinks dust from his eyes and, without much thought, takes it. He’s lifted off the ground in one go, coughing and stumbling from the rush.
“Whoa.” The man steadies Magnus with a firm hand between his shoulder blades. “Easy there. You look like you’ve been out here a while. Wanna tell me what happened?”
Magnus chokes on dust a few more seconds before finally taking a calming breath. He glances over. “I, uh. I don’t remember.”
“...Well. Alright, that’s fair enough I guess. You got a name?”
He nods. “Magnus.”
The man takes this in, then grins, wide and happy. He claps Magnus on the back. “Nice to meet you, Magnus.” He points toward a farmhouse on the horizon. “I work over there, and Ben lets me sleep in the loft upstairs. I bet he and his wife wouldn’t mind giving you a place to stay for the night, until you can get on your feet.”
“...Okay.”
The man starts walking. “I’m Kalen by the way,” he says and leads Magnus toward the house.
Kalen works for a man named Ben, and his wife Lucille. They let Magnus bathe and put him in some of the spare clothes they have in the house and feed him dinner. No one asks him a lot of questions — he suspects Kalen may have mentioned that he doesn’t remember much. The walk to the house had been peppered with him asking questions and Magnus answering sheepishly, “I don’t know.” After a while, Kalen had just stopped.
Lucille is kind and sweet and fills his plate a few times more than is strictly necessary. Ben talks about how it’d be nice to have a spare set of hands, and this seems to excite Kalen.
“Be nice to have someone around. Gets lonely out there.”
Magnus nods, and intends to refuse, but remembers that...he has nowhere to go. Wherever he’s been left seems to be safe enough, and whoever left him there seems to have done it on purpose. So close to someone’s house, to someone who’d find him and take care of him.
“We’ll have Kalen take you into town tomorrow, since it’s Sunday. Maybe get you a few things to wear. If you want the job, that is,” Ben adds.
Magnus nods. “I’d appreciate it. Be nice to have some work to do.” He looks at his hands — they seem weathered, like they’ve known days of hard work, but they also don’t seem like his own. Nothing about his body feels like it belongs to him. More than anything, though, he feels like parts of him are missing. Like he’s had bits and pieces picked off and throw away.
Lucille notices his momentary lapse and clears her throat, bringing him back.
“I made a pudding,” she says, and heads into the kitchen.
That night, Kalen rummages through a couple of crates, swearing and talking to himself.
“I know I’ve got a spare—” He cries out triumphantly. “Ah ha!”
“What—”
“Boots,” he says, and passes them to Magnus.
Magnus turns them over in his hands, and sees scrawled on the bottom, Kalen.
“Oh.” Kalen takes them and digs around until he finds a marker, crosses it off, and writes, Magnus. “There. Now they’re yours,” he says, and passes them back.
Magnus considers them. They’re heavy, and they feel sturdy.
“We take Sundays off,” Kalen says. “So we can go into town and you can meet some folks, if you’re up to it. Raven’s Roost is a great place,” he adds. “Everyone here’s really friendly. Do you remember where you’re from?” Magnus shakes his head. “That’s okay. Eddie, the guy who owns the pub, he was like that, too. Never could explain how he got here. Probably on the run from someone but—”
“I’m not,” Magnus says, though given all he’s said so far, that could be as true as any other reason he has for winding up in the dirt that morning. “I mean...I don’t think I am.”
Kalen shrugs. “It’s okay. You don’t really seem the type.” He goes to the closet and pulls out some blankets. “You can take the bed if you want. I’m okay to kip here on the floor until we get you a decent cot.”
“I can’t take your bed—”
Kalen waves a hand. “Don’t worry about it,” he says, already making himself a palette on the floor. “I used to sleep on the ground up here all the time until Miss Lucille found out and made Ben get me a proper bed. She’ll make sure you’re all set, too, don’t worry.” Kalen reaches out and puts a reassuring hand on Magnus’s shoulder. “I don’t know how you got here, but you’re in a safe place now.” He smiles. “That’s what Raven’s Roost is.”
Raven’s Roost is beautiful. Magnus can’t remember much, but he knows this place has to be one of the most beautiful he’s ever been. The town is full of life and people, with stores crammed into every block. There’s a place Kalen calls the Craftsman’s Corridor where he says tourists come and buy, “all that artsy stuff,” but it makes real things that real people need.
“The Waxman’s make furniture, the McGuire’s make iron works, the Kingsley’s build houses.” He ticks them off as they go, finally approaching a little place called Ends and Aims at the end of Main Street. “This is Eleanor’s place, she sells used clothes and the like. Miss Lucille gave me some coin to get you a few things, but I bet we could have a bit left over for a beer at Eddie’s.”
Magnus finds himself grinning. Kalen is light, reaching out and touching his shoulder when he thinks Magnus might be slipping, or saying something informational just to keep them going. On top of it all, he’s genuinely happy to have someone working with him on the farm.
They leave Eleanor’s with an armful of flannel shirts and some good, solid jeans. Kalen had tried to get him to buy some of the sturdier brown work pants, but...there’s something about the denim. It’s an eerie feeling, and touching the fabric makes him feel like he’s getting something back, but as soon as he feels close to it, it’s like he’s swatted away. Not allowed to go there.
“Beer,” Kalen says, and steers them down the road.
Inside Eddie’s there seem to be a lot of young men spending a Sunday afternoon off. Magnus sits where Kalen tells him to, ignoring the curious gazes that linger until Kalen comes back with their drinks.
“Don't mind them,” he says. “They’ll get used to you.” He glances over his shoulder. “This is Magnus,” he says. “Just came into town. Ben’s hired him on at the farm.”
One of the men nods. Ben’s decisions seem to carry some weight, and this satisfies their curiosity. For now. Magnus suspects it’ll be like this for a while. He wonders how long he’ll really make it here.
Kalen turns back to him and sighs. “Sorry about that. Raven’s Roost is a great town, but it’s a small town. You’ll fit in sooner than you think, though,” he adds, taking a long drink of his beer. He wipes the foam from his upper lip. “So you remember anything new?”
“No. Sorry—”
“Eh, don’t apologize.” Kalen leans back in his chair. “Like I said, it doesn’t bother me, and I don’t think it’ll bother anyone else. You can make yourself a new history here, you know.”
Magnus takes a drink. The beer is good, and cold. If he knows the taste, it’s another thing he’s forgotten. “What about you?” he asks. “Are you from Raven’s Roost?”
“Born and raised.”
“That’s lucky.”
“It can be.” Kalen sighs. “I mean...it is, I don’t want to seem ungrateful to anyone. My parents died when I was sixteen. Ben and Lucille took me in and gave me work, gave me a home. It’s just...when I was younger, you know. My mom always talked about me going to university, in Neverwinter.”
“Neverwinter.” Magnus sounds out the name, foreign sounding on his tongue.
“Yeah, big city, about ten days from here. They were saving, but I had to use the money to clear some debts and pay for the funeral. I’ve got some stowed away, but...I don’t know.”
“If that’s what you want to do you should do it,” Magnus says.
Kalen raises a brow. “So you’ve got some convictions after all.” He laughs and takes another drink. “I dunno. I mean I really want to, but I’ve got an obligation to Ben and Lucille. Can’t just take off without leaving them some good help.”
“I’m here now.”
Kalen shakes his head. “I think you need me for a bit. Sorry,” he adds. “I’m sure you can take care of yourself, it’s just that you need to learn how things work and... besides. I’m not ready to go.” He scoots his chair forward. “Honestly? I’d be kind of afraid to leave. I mean, this is my home. I can’t...just leave home.”
Magnus nods. He feels like he should know how that feels, but it’s a lot like the jeans. A thought he’s not allowed to have, so he pushes it away.
The farm work is easy enough. Magnus takes to it well, finding a sort of solace in the blistering sun as he tills the earth and manages the animals. Kalen had been happy to have someone out there alongside him to talk to, but it turns out there isn’t much time for conversation, though they sit in the upper loft of the barn each afternoon, sharing a thermos of lemonade and eating on ham sandwiches Miss Lucille makes and brings around for lunch each day.
Sundays are for resting, so some Saturday evenings, Kalen and Magnus go into town and have a drink at Eddie’s. Magnus is starting to learn the names of the folks who live and work there, and he’s a little surprised how quickly they seem to take to him.
When he brings it up one evening, Kalen just shrugs and kicks at the dirt in the street. “You’re just...a real genuine guy, I guess.” He stops as they near the edge of town, then grabs Magnus’s arm. “Did you see that?”
“What—”
“There!” Kalen points, and Magnus looks, catching it in his periphery. A shooting star, blazing across the sky. Kalen grins. “Did you make a wish?”
Magnus shakes his head. “Too fast for me. You?”
“Yeah.” Kalen sighs heavily. “Long shot, but I’ll take a free wish when I can get one.”
Magnus smiles. He knows what Kalen wished for — he talks about going to school more and more these days. Not around Ben, he knows better than that. Ben catches wind that Kalen wants to take off, he’ll cut him loose before he’s ready. That’s Kalen’s suspicion, anyway. Magnus thinks Ben might be more amicable to the idea than Kalen believes, and he knows Lucille considers him more a son than a worker. But, Magnus knows, too, that Kalen is afraid of the things that go beyond the borders of Raven’s Roost.
Magnus fears none of that, but he feels safe and he knows, in some part of him, that this is the first time in a long time it’s been this way. And he needs to hold on to that.
It’s a usual Saturday at the pub when Kalen brings someone over to meet Magnus.
“This is Julia,” he says. “Steven Waxman’s daughter. They own the carpentry shop in the Corridor. She’s been wanting to meet you for a while and I just thought—”
Kalen keeps going, but Magnus isn’t really listening. He’s still sitting, staring up at this beautiful woman, and the first thing he really notices are her eyes. Sharp and dark brown, almost black against her pupils. Her hair is thick and curly, tied away from her face where freckles pop out against brown skin. Magnus suddenly stands, looming over her awkwardly until he sticks out his hand.
“I’m Magnus.”
“I know,” she says. “Heard a lot about you.”
“Right. Yeah, uh. Right.” He takes a step back, bumping right into the table. “Sorry. I, um—”
Julia laughs and ducks her head.
Kalen clears his throat. “I’m...gonna go get some more beers. You want one, Waxman?”
She nods, looking back up at Magnus. Kalen just nods and leaves them there. At some point he comes back with beers, but makes himself scarce. Magnus spends the night sitting at a table in the corner of the bar, listening to Julia talk. She wears a set of copper bracelets on her arm that tap against one another when she moves.
At some point Kalen makes eye contact with him and winks, heading out with a few of the other men. Magnus knows it must be late, and more than inappropriate for him to stay out, alone, in a bar with someone like Julia — single and a craftsman’s daughter, someone will notice she’s gone — but he can’t think of anything he’d rather do than listen to her talk and answer every single question she asks.
“Will you walk me home?” she finally says, when the bar is suddenly too quiet.
Magnus nods. “Of course,” he says, and they wander out and onto the street, slowly making their way toward the Corridor. Julia tells him she’s lived there all her life, in the houses that line the back of the shops. Her mother died when she was a little girl, and her father’s trained her to take over the shop someday. They stop under the sign, Hammer and Tongs, and Magnus feels her place her small hand in his.
“I really enjoyed our evening, Magnus.”
“Yeah. Yeah me, too.”
“Kalen went on about you last week when he was in the store and I felt...I felt like I had to meet you.”
Magnus ducks his head and smiles. “I’m glad you did.”
“Yeah.” Julia reaches up and cups his cheek. “So am I.”
Kalen’s smug about Julia for a few days. “Knew you’d be a good pair,” he says, more than once. Magnus doesn’t really mind it. He’s still thinking about her soft, beautiful hands and when he might see her again. It distracts him, a bit, but they finish their work that evening all the same.
“You should ask her to the Harvest Festival,” Kalen says.
“Is that the thing Lucille was going on about this afternoon?”
“Yeah. She and Ben are kind of in charge of it. They set it up out near where I found you. Celebrates fall and everything. You should ask her soon, because you’re only one of about ten guys in town who have their eye on Julia Waxman.”
“Damn. Really?”
“Yeah, but she seems to really like you. All the other ones she just puts up with.” Kalen yawns and mumbles something else, but he’s too out of it for Magnus to hear.
In the morning, Ben is in the kitchen swearing up a storm while Lucille whisper-shouts at him to calm down. Magnus comes into the room and sees the source of his frustration — two of the kitchen table legs are broken, most of their breakfast in a sad heap on the floor.
“Just have Steven come out and fix it—”
“Harvest Festival’s in two weeks, Lucille, that man has enough to do without fixin’ my damn table—”
“I can fix it,” Magnus says, without thinking.
Ben glances up. “Son, you don’t have to do anything like that—”
“No, sir, really. I...I can fix it.” Magnus feels a twitch in his hands. He’s suddenly desperate to get his fingers on the wood of the table, to see where the break is and what he can do with it. He’s not sure where it comes from, but the thought is different from some of the others. He’s allowed to play with this one, to consider where it might have come from, even though he draws a blank.
Ben sighs. “Well, alright. I’ll give you the morning, but you need to get back out there and help Kay with the cows in the afternoon.”
“Yes, sir.” Magnus and Kalen clear all the food and get the table outside.
Kalen whistles and touches some of the splintered wood. “Damn. You sure you can do something with this?”
“I think so.”
“Well, better you than me. I’ll see you at lunch.” He pats Magnus on the back and heads toward the barn.
Magnus cobbles together a few tools from the shed and gets to work. The legs were old and they buckled, so he spends the morning putting them back together, gluing and nailing things until the table seems to hold a good amount of weight. Then, because he’s got a couple hours and a container of stain, he sands it down and darkens the wood before putting a shine on it.
Ben is impressed.
“Well damn, son.” He runs a hand over the wood. “You did all that today?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Huh.” Ben puts a hand on either hip. “That’s somethin’ else, Magnus.” He sighs. “Have some lunch and then you boys finish your work. I’ve got to head into town for a bit.”
Kalen watches him head into the house, then looks back at the table. “Nice work.” He doesn’t ask where Magnus learned how to do any of it — he already knows what the answer will be. They carry the table into the kitchen and then head to the barn for lunch before getting back to work.
Ben doesn’t come back until dinner, and he isn’t alone. When Magnus and Kalen have washed up, they stand with Lucille in the sitting room while Ben leads their guest inside.
“Magnus, this is Steven Waxman. You might know his daughter, Julia.”
Kalen coughs.
Magnus takes Steven’s hand. “Sir.”
Ben nods toward the kitchen table. “Magnus fixed that thing right up this morning, Steve. Just took what I had in the shed and got her lookin’ good as new.”
Steven walks in a wide circle around the table and nods. “Nice work, son.”
“Thank you, sir.”
Lucille sighs. “Can we sit at the damn thing? Let’s feed these boys.” She waves Magnus and Kalen into the kitchen and has them carry the platters to the table.
Ben settles at the head and looks at Steven. “You mentioned you needed help. When I saw what Magnus here could do this morning, I figured you two should meet.”
Magnus stiffens in his chair, suddenly unable to look anywhere but his plate.
“It’s some good work he did, that’s for sure, but I’d have to see more. You have a portfolio or anything Magnus?”
Magnus finally looks up. “No, sir.”
“So you just...learned all of it. Out of the blue.”
“Well, no, I—”
“You said you learned it at a trade school,” Kalen suddenly says, spearing yams on his fork. “Didn’t you?” His expression is earnest and Magnus nods. “Guess we would have seen it sooner, but we don’t do much woodworking around here.”
Ben shakes his head. “No, we sure don’t. But maybe Magnus can come by and take a look around the shop,” he says.
Steven nods. “I’d like that.” He looks at Magnus. “What about you, son? You think you’d want to try lending me a hand?”
Magnus glances at Ben, who nods. “I would, sir. Yes.”
Steven smiles. “Perfect.”
Ben agrees to let Magnus apprentice with Steven three times a week, and they bring on someone else to help Kalen those days on the farm. It’s strange, suddenly eating by himself in the back of Steven’s shop those days, but when he does get to be on the farm, Kalen keeps him updated on what’s happening, how the new help is working out, and wants to know if Magnus and Julia have spent any time together.
“Once,” Magnus says. “She ate lunch with me last week.”
“Practically married,” Kalen coos, and ducks to avoid a swat to the back of the head. “Did you ask her to the Festival yet?”
“Uh, yeah. Yes. Last week. She said yes,” he adds quickly.
Kalen crows. “I knew it! I knew I’d done right by you, Burnsides.” He laughs and takes a long drink of lemonade from the thermos. “Well. Since we’re revealing things to one another, I might as well just come out and say it.” He looks out on the expanse of farm and sighs. “Ben’s selling some of his land. Downsizing before retirement. That means less work to do here. For the both of us.”
“...Are you going to school?”
Kalen grins. “I am.”
Magnus pulls in him close and tousles his hair. “Proud of you,” he says.
Kalen wriggles free and laughs. “Yeah?” Magnus nods. “Well. I’m proud of you, too. You know Steven’s gonna hire you full time, right?”
“Yeah, he mentioned that.”
“It’ll be good for you,” Kalen says. “You’ll really be a part of the town over there.” He presses his hair down. “You know...I envy you, I think.”
Magnus frowns now. “Why?”
“I just...I’ve grown up these last years kind of on the edge. I never felt like I belonged, you know? If I’d been taken in by someone in the Corridor I feel like it’d be different. I mean I appreciate Ben and Lucille, I really do. I just…”
“It’s been hard,” Magnus says.
Kalen nods. “Yeah. Yeah it has.”
Magnus puts a hand on his shoulder. He wants to say that he’s sorry, but the idea of it rings hollow before he can even open his mouth. The silence isn’t awkward, though. It’s a comforting one, between two friends, suddenly thrust down different paths. Ben will sell most of the farm, eventually. Kalen will go away and Magnus will move to the Corridor.
“I’ll be back every summer,” Kalen says. He must sense the creeping melancholy. “And I don’t start until after the Harvest Festival, same as you.”
Magnus nods. “Then we’ve got time together yet.”
Kalen smiles. “Yeah. We’ve got time.”
This Harvest Festival is Ben and Lucille’s last. After, someone else will take over, as has been tradition, Magnus learns. From Julia, who plants herself beside him that night and doesn’t move. He’s keenly aware of Steven’s gaze on them, and Kalen’s smug expression, but each time Julia pulls him out to dance under the lights, all that fades away.
Magnus feels bound to her, tighter and tighter still, every time he’s allowed to hold her. They don’t need to kiss or be any closer than they’re allowed to be for him to know this, and Julia seems keenly aware of the effect she’s having on him. With a jolt Magnus realizes — he’s doing the same to her.
He doesn’t want the evening to end. It’s been an entire day of people showing off what they’ve made, tourists buying everything in sight, and endless tables of food.
Kalen’s leaving in the morning for Neverwinter, and the day before was their last full day of work together on Ben’s farm. Come Monday, most of it won’t even belong to him anymore, and Magnus will live in the little flat above the Hammer and Tongs.
It’s late and Julia and her father have left when Kalen hands Magnus one last beer and they wander away from the lights of the festival.
“It’s been a good night,” Kalen says quietly, when they finally settle on a spot. They’re only a handful of feet away from the edge of a cliff, looking down into a deep gorge below. “I wish you could come with me.”
“I’m not cut out for school,” Magnus says, though he does sometimes wish he could give it a try. Working for hours at reading an entire book can’t be so different from clearing a field, he reasons. He wonders of Kalen feels the same.
“Well, I’ll teach you things when I come back,” Kalen offers. “You can read some of my books.”
Magnus nudges him with his shoulder. “Yeah, alright. Good deal.”
Kalen smiles. “I’ll miss you. I’ll miss this,” he says, point out toward the gorge. “But I’m…”
“You’re happy to get away.” Kalen nods. “Yeah, I know. I’m happy for you.”
They lean back and finish off their drinks, watching the stars overhead. Kalen points as something streaks across the sky, and this time around, Magnus is able to make a wish.
He has a lot to choose from — that what he has with Julia will become something more, or that he’ll be successful with his new job. Little things that could come true, shooting star or not.
A little desperately, he wishes that things won’t change. Not that nothing new will happen at all, or that things won’t be a little different a year from now. Just...the feeling. He wants to be this happy forever, and he wants Kalen and everyone else to feel the same.
It’s a silly wish, the sort of thing children ask for. But Magnus can’t remember much of being a child, so he has to do these things now.
Watching the sky overhead, it feels possible that his wish might come true, even as everything around him starts to change.